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#ill just post this caption less
borathae · 6 months
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Sibi you're feeding my hand kink and I love you so much for it
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goodbuckcharlie · 14 days
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Kissing other girls
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Warning- risky photos and lowkey asshole Luke
Notes- this is part three go read part one and two first
Best friends brother masterlist
@/njdupdates
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Liked by umichgirl, devsfan, umichfan and 56.364 others
Caption- Rookie Luke Hughes spotted kissing an unknown women after Devils win
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@/umichgirl- please tell me Randi dyed her hair blonde and was in Jersey last night.
@/umichfan- no Randi was on at the umich game last night she posted it on her story
@/umichgirl- oh poor girl
@/devsfan- she probably doesn’t even care, they are just friends
@/randi.Kingston
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Liked by jaimedrysdale, alexturcotte, markestapa and 1,567,952 others
Caption- life goes on babes
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@/ally_hughes- she said ✨body✨ 😍
@/randi.kingston- 🤪
@/rutgermcgroarty- respectfully 😍
@/randi.kingston- respectful king
@/luca.fantilli- someone fumbled the bag hard.
@/rutgermcgroarty- nobody in the history of ever has fumbled this hard
@/umichfan- Ik she’s is def torturing Luke with that second photo
@/randi.Kingston- we are “just friends” so this shouldn’t bother him at all :)
@/trevorzegras- if you come to California I’ll buy you another tattoo 👉👈
@/Randi.kingston- say less ✈️
@/alexturcotte- RANDI IN CALI?!?!?
@/jackhughes- note to self to get Randi to visit buy her a tattoo
@/randi.Kingston- idk I currently have no urge to go to New Jersey.
@/ally_hughes
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Liked by _quinnhughes ,g.brindley4 , adamfantilli and 762,634 others
Caption- one last girls night until she leaves me to hang out with TREVOR😡🤬
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@/jackhughes- you act like she’s going to die
@/ally_hughes- with Trevor? It’s a highly likely scenario
@/colecaufield- who’s watching Kevin?!
@/randi.Kingston-Olive is watching Kevin my sweet boi
@/ally_hughes- she told me no
@/randi.Kingston- last time I left you alone with Kevin you scarred him
@/edwards.73- we didn’t scar your cat
@/randi.Kingston- Kevin told me otherwise you heathen
@/trevorzegras- don’t worry I’ll take great care of her, I’ll make sure she gets plenty of sunlight and I’ll water her twice a day
@/randi.kingston-I’m not a plant bro
@/trevorzegras- shit really? What am I going to do with all this soil then?
@/randi.Kingston- I’ll just stay with turc then
@/trevorzegras- nope youre stuck with me
@/alexturcotte- dw ill just steal you bestie
@/lhughes_06- tell Randi to answer my calls
@/rutgermcgroarty- nah she’s good but thanks for the suggestion pookie
@/lhughes_06- I wasn’t talking to you rut
@/rutgermcgroarty- funny just like how Randi isn’t talking to you lol
@/_quinnhughes- wtf is happening
@/jackhughes- idk but I think it’s Luke’s fault
@/ally_hughes- 👍
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capricorn-0mnikorn · 16 days
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Why I use the word "Disablism" in some contexts
Like most Americans, I used to assume that "Ableism" and "Disablism" were perfect synonyms, and that one was just the American version, and one was the UK version (like the different ways we pronounce "herb").
But in this video (premiered 16 November, 2022), Disability-and-Queer Lifestyle YouTuber Jessica Kellgren-Fozard distinguished between the two this way (quotes taken from the closed captions transcript):
"Ableist assumptions are . . . often unconscious, or at least not ill-intentioned, and most likely come from a place of thoughtlessness or negligence."
But
"[Disablism] . . . encompasses a much uglier kind of discrimination – one that stems from the belief that disabled people are truly inferior to others."
After that distinction was clear to me, I realized that when I, and other Americans, have made the claim: "Ableism is the Root of all Bigotry" (As I did with this graphic and post I made back in 2017), what we're really talking about is Disablism, because the whole point of bigotry is enforcing the belief that some people are "truly inferior" to others, on the basis of presumed disability.
And I think the distinction is important, not because the harms caused by negligence and thoughtlessness are any less severe, but they require different tactics than that of deliberate hostility to combat them.
So I made a new graphic:
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(Also, in my previous graphic, I depicted bigotry flowing upward from the bedrock to the canopy, where in actuality, various bigotries are enforced from the top down, to benefit those at the top of the social and economic hierarchies)
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yardsards · 2 months
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there's so many posts floating around that are like "if you stop joking about wanting to kill yourself, you won't think about suicide as much!"
and. in my experience, that's just been dead false.
when i was younger, i would casually joke about my suicidal urges all the time. it made my (often equally depressed) peers laugh along and connect with me, and it made the urges feel less scary, like i could conquer them and laugh.
i stopped joking about suicide as i got older. everyone said it was harmful to do, so i quit. and i think it actually made me feel so much worse. my suicidal ideations are now a dark taboo swirling around deep within me: something that i can't show outside of serious conversations in therapists' offices or to friends preceded with "can i vent about something?". serious conversations that don't really make me feel better and often manage to make the suicidal feelings look even BIGGER and more unmanageable to me.
i wish i could joke about it like i used to, but i can't. i'm more conscientious of others' feelings and reactions to me than i used to be (which is in some ways a good thing, but in some ways leaves me constantly muting and molding myself just to be more palatable to outsiders). so i can't bring myself to risk upsetting anyone with my dark jokes anymore: no matter if it's fellow suicidal people who may be understandably hurt by the subject, or if it's just mentally healthy people clutching their pearls because i dare be mentally ill in public.
and joking about these things is a lot more taboo now that it was just a few years ago as a teenager in the late 2010s. humor was more dark and ironic overall at the time. you could post like, a deep fried jpeg of a shrimp captioned "i want to krill myself!" and there was a general understanding that like, yeah some of the feelings there might be genuine, but it's still a joke and you can join in on laughing. but now something like that would be treated more like a cry for help.
i don't really have a solution to this cuz like, yeah there were people who were negatively impacted by the ubiquity of suicide jokes back then, and it's probably not something we as a culture should bring back overall. but GOD sometimes i miss it.
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gasolineb0y · 4 months
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An overly detailed analysis of the scp foundations adopted son, the backrooms
Due to the fact that I have no control over my interests, ive decided that im gonna post cringe and start writing a minimum 100 word (50 for subrooms) review of every single backrooms level (or at least as many as I can get through before the hyperfixation burns out). And before we can actually get to the meat and potatoes, we gonna discuss the universal quality cap contained within the very premise of the modern backrooms (more under the cut)
The history of backrooms is like, pretty simple, and actually kind of similar to how scp started. Some guy posted an imagine with the caption:
"If your not careful and noclip out if reality in wrong areas, you'll end up in the backrooms, where it's nothing but the stink of moist carpet, the madness of mono-yellow, and endless backround noise of fluorescent lights at maximum hum-buzz, and approximately six hindered million square miles of randomly segmented empty rooms to be trapped in.
God save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell has heard you"
The concept very quickly caught on, because even retrospectively, the concept is really good, and then people started to write about. And at this point, it varies very, very heavily from scp. Because scp-173s whole premise doesnt crumble like a sandcastle upon any elaboration.
Ill blaze through this part simply because its by far the most common criticism of the backrooms and im not getting ad revenue from puffing up a video about it. You cant add entities or other humans because the vagueness of the final line and also ruins the isolation inherent to the original passage. You cant add more levels because that gives the person somewhere to go and makes the person less trapped, you cant make your levels death traps because thats just not scary, and you sure as hell cant make them safe because that removes the looming threat of death (this last point also applies to lucky o' milk and almond water). But personally, I dont think that talking about this helps the writers, or even gives us a better feel for what these writers are doing wrong, so instead im gonna focus on the main problem with the backrooms
The writing style is contradictory with the material presented
Since the backrooms popularity boom happened congruently with the one for liminal spaces (which ill just use interchangably with "eerily empty nostalgic space, even though the original definition just describes one thats transitional) even the most recent levels try to invoke this sort of setting. This within itself, is great. Theres a lot of room for very personal, intimate horror, especially when combined with isolation. Guess what they tried to do with it?
They jacked scps writing style, which for those not in the know, is intentionally written from a dry, neutral voice. To describe a setting meant to invoke one of the most personal emotions one can have.
Beyond this, articles, as evidenced by their often dubious writing quality, are written by teens who are far too young to have experienced that kind of nostalgia, so a lot of the articles end up not being able to fully capture the feeling, even if they werent written like a courtroom report.
To summarize, the premise is just kind of limiting within itself, even detached from any disloyalty to the original premise of the backrooms.
anyhow Im releasing the first review tomorrow
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holmesillustrations · 5 months
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Bracket Info!
My starting list was the 700 illustrations included with first publications of each story or novel, this means the initial magazine printing in the uk and us (usually the Strand and Colliers, though other magazines get involved too especially in the later stories) plus the first novel edition if i could find it. I did Not include reprints or translations, but it might be fun for a later bracket if people want them!
I tried to get the best quality image available for each one but some are just not online unfortunately.
Bracket Poll
Full Bracket - This is in spreadsheet format because with 256 polls in round 1 and inconsistent image titles i can't figure out a more visual format, but im open to suggestions! I'll make some graphics once we hit the later rounds and there's a more manageable number
Polls All - R1 - Round 2 - R3 - R4 - R5 - R6 - Quarterfinals - Semifinals - Final Battle
Elimination Rounds (complete)
I filtered out some title banners and space-fillers/formatting-focused illustrations, but getting to 512 for a functional bracket is gonna take some elimination rounds first! Since part of the motivation here is to highlight some of the lesser known artists, i split this up into 30 'Sidney Paget' rounds, and 27 'Other Artists' rounds. These will last a week, but i'll be posting one of each every day (more or less lmao)
After these ill seed the proper bracket based on the elimination votes and we can narrow it down to a winner 1v1!
Poll Format Each poll will have 11-12 illustrations, the poll options are numbered and include a partial caption next to the artist name and story abbreviation (STUD, SIGN, SCAN &c.) Under a read more ill include the full captions, the print source, and a list of the characters or subjects present left to right.
You can see the list of story abbreviations here if you're not familiar with them, and that site also has a lot of publication info/history if you want a sneak peak at the illustrations and artists coming up that you might not have seen before 👀
Paget Eliminations
Other Artist Eliminations
Offensive Imagery and Language
I wanted to give a blanket warning for this bracket: These are drawings by white men in the 1890s-1920s, the vast majority are fine, but there is a handful that portray racist and classist imagery in line with what is present in the stories themselves. I can't consistently warn for these individually out of a list of 700 pieces, but i also dont want to pretend they arent part of this history or set myself up as an authority on which cross a line or not, so ive decided not to automatically exclude illustrations that might be offensive. Likewise, im not censoring any of the captions that are part of images, but will do my best to remove offensive terms where i'm typing them out.
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rongzhi · 2 years
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stupid question probably but theyre talking a little fast for me - in the douyin u just posted when the subs say like 两百块Q or 你们都要Q我 is the Q standing in for 钱? or is it 却 or something else im not picking up
The first Q is 钱 (qian; money)
The second Q is 抢 (qiang; rob, steal, snatch, grab). That’s also where the 抢红包 wordplay is, since 抢 is used as both “rob” and “grab” (e.g, scrambling to grab red envelopes).
Loosely related, but on douyin some words/a lot of words will be self censored by the douyin users because it’s polite or because they just want to abbreviate for their own reasons.
For example, 病 (illness) gets censored with 冰/饼/🧊/bing a lot but it’s not like you can’t post a video with it in, because I’ve seen videos with proper captioning too. You can write out 死 (die), as I have certainly seen it, but most people replace it with s/4️⃣/4/si… etc. Words related to money (钱/买/卖) will also often get abbreviated to the first pinyin letter.
On the more whimsical side, innocuous words like 谢谢 (thank you) may get replaced with 🦀🦀 since “crab” is a homophone. Similarly, 🦐 may replace any “xia” word (summer, blind, etc).
Curse words will usually get abbreviated/replaced with more polite homophones as is already the widespread internet norm. This is really the only thing I think creators must be strictly mindful of, but even then you can still hear curses in the audio. Some may choose to bleep it out but it won’t get your video taken down.
I’m guessing the douyin algorithm is just less likely to promote videos with any content that could be considered iffy (there’s a minors-safe mode for douyin but some people also just play it safe). The douyin rules forbidding vulgar language simply defines vulgar languages as:
一般脏话
作品含有语言不文明的内容
Common swear words:
Videos containing language that is uncivilized.
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ivanzplaid · 1 year
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JOHN LEGUIZAMO CHARACTER REQUESTS 👀👀 I am looking.
Maybe a fic OR hcs or whatever u feel like doing!! W/ George Díaz from The Menu, w/ m!reader who's also an actor?? I was thinking that maybe they're co-stars in the same movie and they stay after-hours to practice a (maybe romantic?) scene and they both have Feelings for each other :0 lmk if there's anything else you'd like me to specify!! Tysm 💖
THIS IS PERFECT OF COURSE THANK YOU SM🫶🫶
im literally obsessed with his character in the menu hes just sooo perfect and silly and i love this idea SO so much and thank you for requesting a leguizamo character i cant get enough of him🗣️ hes so fine as george im literally blushing n kicking my feet, also i have to get used to his character so im literally soso sorry if this feels out of character i swear ill do better as time goes on🙏
i did hcs for this just because i have a big project coming up snd i still wanted to work on this, i hope you like it and always aalways feel free to ask 4 more!
requests are open, masterlist is up!!
George Díaz x M! Reader + Co-stars + Romantic Confessions | Headcanons
Warnings: Literally nothing
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Headcanons:
he is ecstatic to be working after-hours, he recently posted a photo of you 2 together smiling and captioned it "After Hours of Production" and is loving all of thr compliments flowing in, its his ego thats just being fed more and more
he prefers to stay on set rather than go somewhere else just so he can embody his emotions fully, and feel like hes in his best character so he can nail this with you
hes also a bit nervous—but hides it well— that hes gonna mess up infront of you, or do something so that youd see him as 'lesser' of an actor that he thinks he is, his self image needs you to think hes this successful guy
he didnt fully process he had feeling for you because he almost qualifies as a workaholic, but he loves his job and the fame it brings him. it took really working with you throughout every scene and spending more time with you, eventually calling you out on little lunch dates, or 'colleague bonding time' as he calls it ( yet the only colleague he spends time with is you strangely )
the scene you two are going over is a slower, heartfelt scene, where the two main characters begin to confess their love for eachother after Georges character had ditched town, the denouement of the movie
your feeling a bit nervous, and it seems that the room grows smaller each step you take towards George, seeing him sprawled out on the directors chair, giggling at his phone, till he finally notices you and takes a hint
"It's great, it's seriously.. they love us! Have you seen the post yet? Even my critics are excited for us!"
he's over the moon about it, almost forgetting what hes here to practice
however, in his head its a bit different. hes a rather calm man, always being on the more nonchalant side, and typically someone who doesnt struggle with having to flirt or joke around, so he tries to keep this guard up, yet the way youre pulling him up by his shoulder to make sure he moves has him questioning if he can really do this
"Alright alrightt, patience. Let me get my script and I'll meet you on set."
realization has yet to hit him that its just you and him, but somewhere inside him hes a little less confident that it'll be stunning, or excellent, hes more worried that the scene will have you leaving before he got to spend enough time with you
youre standing there, the lights dimmer than usual because you know thats how he prefers it, sitting on the makeshift ledge that the scene is set on
he does a little jog over, apologizing casually then sighing as he sits down, getting comfortable and noticeably closer to you, till his hand is set next to yours
hes definitely the type of person to pop a mint, or gum before acting tbh
you begin the scene, the you are an eager, but secluded lover, who's feelings are diminished by his town's perspective on love
george is a confident and devoted man whose methods of courting you have been pushed away until this confrontation
its dramatic and has close tension, but georges atmosphere closes everything around you but him, and he begins with his lines
your eyes are attracted to his as he begins, a passionate actor whose hands are now on yours, holding them and caressing your right hand with his thumb
the room feels like its changed, and your face is getting hotter, slowly moving yourself closer to him, yet hesitant to see how it goes
"I dream of the nights where you're by my side, in my bed, and not a passing vision after a nightmare. Just join me."
his voice hitches at the last sentence, the tone changing to something more demanding, and foolishly enough it feels like hes talking to you, man to man
the farther you two get, the more the rehearsal goes slightly off track, a misplaced hand or a smile that seems so genuine
"Take my hand as you'll take my heart, its no longer mine solely."
theres a silence between the two of you, and in that moment he slowly smiles at you before taking your hand and kissing it, trying not to exit character completely, his aura is carefree as he speaks
"Christs sake just let me kiss you already, your eyes haven't looked away from mine yet."
hes straightforward and honest, taking the hint after you laugh to pull you in by the lower back and admire you from a closer view
he respects you but he can only play along for so long until he breaks, his confidence tells him it'll be fine so he acts on his thoughts casually alot🫶🫶
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0w0 · 2 years
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Hey so more posting about my intimate mental health on Tumblr, because it is the void I scream into when I'm overwhelmed on deciding which interpersonal connection to dump this on
I've officically lost like 20 lbs in the past two months from just... Pretty much hardly eating. Officially relapsed 🤪 (the emoji is ironic and is an attempt to mask my true ditress)
I've largely come to the conclusion that it is because of depression. I do not eat because I simply feel like I, myself, am not worth maintaining. It's the same reason why hygene and chorws are hard. Everything just feels empty despite my best efforts, eating just is more work to keep doing something that ultimately, my mental illness makes me feel is pointless.
I've attempted suicide, yeah, but passive self harm has always been what lean on when I'm to lethargic to even hurt myself when I get the impulse.
The thing is, I'm scared. I'm super scared. I like that I'm losing weight. I want to be smaller. I want to take up less space and no feel so fucking fat and disgusting. (Being fat is not disgusting, and fat people are not bad. But my perception of self is really fucked up and thats how it comes out when I look at myself when combined with societal beauty standards).
Despite being scared-- I like how an empty stomach feels. Before it turns into pain, I mean. I like the hallow feeling, for the same reason I like sex. It's a physical sensation that puts me back in my body, especially when dissociating, which I do a majority of the time.
I used to purge, after binging. I won't state dates because depsite everything I'm spilling here, there's still some information I don't need out there. But I say that, because I never considered myself bulimic. Its not like it was chronic. There's a reason I gained like, 100 lbs through adulthood-- I stopped doing that shit.
One of my favorite memes online ever had this caption: "I had and eating disorder and all o have to show for it is this gross fetish". Emetophilia? Hello my old friend.
There's a certain part of me that has sexualized some of the pain I'm going through. That's what being hypersexual does, I guess, but it also feels like a way to dull the ache. Instead of calling it self harm, I call it needleplay, skin embroidery, make it an art. Make it palatable that way, for myself and others. I know it doesnt though, it's still worrying. And I'm not actively trying to transmute feelings associated with depression into something better, like sexuality. It just has .. kind of happened in my brain at some point.
I distinctly remember a time when I was in highschool. I was feeling incredibly sick, but I was on my bus ride home. I was nauseous, felt like I was going to puke, I was dizzy-- it aroused me. A few fucked up things were arousing as a teenager, and that's definitely impacted my long-term health and how I inherently respond to certain stimuli or situations: inappropriately.
As far back as I can remember, everything always circled back to sex for me. I don't remember and csa that my have happened, I don't think I was molested as a child. Bust started at 13, I had very unhealthy relationships until adulthood that hinged on sex. Whether I slept with boys or girls, it didn't matter, it was usually the same. I've had maybe 10 sexual partners in my life-- the fact I was in a relationship that was monogamous for 7 of it's 9 years was the only thing that kept that number from being much, much higher. I had many opportunities to sleep around and cheat. The impulsive desire was there, but I never did it. Was that self restraint? It feels charitable calling it that, but sure. I didn't want to hurt or betray my partner. Not in that way.
Suffice to say, everything is a pile of noodles and all my words are crossed.
Its like have synesthesia but instead of seeing sounds, everything is wirex directly to my dick. What a life, folks
Cheers to therapy making me think I guess. I'll follow this up with my therapist or a future psychiatrist.
🤷
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hannahsimenna · 6 months
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TEXT 1: Instagram (Comments & Conventions)
Text 1 is taken from an Instagram post by Mothership, a Singaporean digital media and news platform that primarily covers (but not exclusively) local news.
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As seen from the caption (the post itself is in Text 1A), "When you try to chao keng but fail," viewers will likely find this piece of news humorous. This sentiment taps on local slang, 'chao keng,' a colloquial term often used to mockingly describe one who exaggerates an illness or feigns sickness to avoid responsibilities. It originates from Hokkien, where 'chao' means smelly, and 'keng' means work. 
Although Mothership is not considered a formal news source in Singapore (compared to the likes of CNA or Straits Times), it is interesting that they openly use colloquial slang in their social media posts, as Singaporean colloquialisms are less often used in formal domains. However, the adoption of slang by a news outlet does call into question whether CMC has blurred the lines between offline and online platforms. Nonetheless, given that Mothership is a local news source, it is unsurprising that they use local slang in order to better appeal to their consumer base of locals; 'chao keng' is a concept most often associated with Singaporean culture; it cannot be translated from or to a different language, particularly due to the specific nuances within the term. It is most frequently associated with National Service, for one, where the concept of skiving to avoid responsibility is well-known, as well as the mocking undertone that people typically vocalise "chao keng" with. The plosive of 'k' and 'ch' also presumably carry out this chiding idea well.
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Text 1B & 1C are taken from the same post's comments section — another feature of most social media platforms. Although its function is largely for users to share their thoughts on the image or item being posted, it seems that the nuance of the comments section has evolved to no longer be so straightforward. In Text 1B, we see frequent usage of the second person pronoun "you" in various iterations of CMC spelling ("yr," "u") as reminiscent of the platform's conventions. What is interesting is that this post is not addressed to the man in question, but to Mothership's general audience; however, one can reasonably assume that the "you" here does indeed refer to the taxi driver in the post ("...now u go jail fail!" / "Seriously why would you lie[s]").
One hypothesis for this is that the nature of news reporting on social media with an avenue for members of the public to comment offers them a chance to verbalise not just their thoughts, but their thoughts on the subject being posted — and thus, presumably, to the subject being posted. Mothership's caption also includes "you," where it seems to be a general 2p pronoun, not directly addressing the driver personally — and yet, still alluding to the driver. This is the interesting nature of CMC: because the post is meant to be for a broad audience, the caption and comments do not function explicitly dyadically, like IRC or a private chat. However, because the platform conventions allows users to openly share their thoughts on the subject being posted, dialogue and discourse — whether between the poster and the commenters, or between commenters themselves — can be facilitated. Some of these commenters seem to treat the comments as a message board to the taxi driver although it is unlikely he will read their messages.
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Another interesting finding is the shortening of the Hokkien cuss word 'nabei' to 'NB' in Text 1C — a CMC-reminiscent feature as you would rarely sound out 'NB' in real life. One reason for this might be to avoid Instagram flagging one's comment for profanity; another reason is that 'NB' is simply more convenient to type. Some local knowledge is required to interpret this, as inferred from the classically Singaporean expletive 'kanasai'; interestingly, when I asked around, different friends interpreted 'NB' differently — not everyone perceived it as profanity. ChatGPT as well, initially explained it as "ni bu." This goes to show that even with localised CMC features, not every member of that speech community may perceive the term the same way. Perhaps because Mothership is a hyper-localised site that tends to attract more middle-aged individuals, the usage of local slang tends to be more prominent amongst this age group (as compared to Gen Z'ers).
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tolerateit · 8 months
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Put this down as the fastest this government has agreed on anything. It only took a day, and they agreed to change the laws to get off easy despite cancer patients dying from the shit they've been pulling. It's basically a two party system but both parties are two sides of the same coin, so they gotta protect each other at the expense of the rest of the country and its citizens.
Anyway, I'm so so so sick of this and all the other updates I've shared with you so I'm just gonna say it, this is MK. In a European shithole that's been trying to join the EU for like two decades now. Funny, right? The EU has laws and regulations and shit like this will (hopefully?) not fly. I think changing this law might be the last straw, so they can make the last necessary changes to the constitution next year after elections and we can finally join. Hundreds of thousands have been migrating away in the last decade because it's such a shithole. The moment we join, this place will pretty much empty out and honestly, it's what these politicians deserve. Not to have anyone even picking up their shit. Literally. Should hopefully happen in a few more years although at this rate, everyone might leave even before then.
TO THINK I used to dream about working in politics and diplomacy and fixing this country up! And pursuing world fucking peace?! You know what I had back then? The audacity lmao
I grew up and realized I don't wanna ass kiss any one of these rotten walnuts for brains to do anything in life, and I certainly don't want to take part in their various criminal activities (which are mandatory if you do join, and joining is mandatory to get pretty much any job here. Or even open up your own business, because they'll find a way to shut you down if you don't help them out in whatever way they see fit).
Like, can you even grasp that I only have digestive issues with the dairy products here, but I'm perfectly fine whenever I consume any of them outside of the country? I certainly can't, like what's the difference? what are they putting in it here that's making me ill? God knows what's in the rest of the food at this point.
I made a meme a few years ago, we had our own situation of a model on stage saying the country's name in a funny way like that girl did with France. I saved a screenshot of it and captioned it with the name and everything because it was funny. I've now been using it as a reaction pic on a daily basis. Any time anyone tells me anything negative, I'm like, you know what, yes that sucks, but you know what else? That's just how things are here and nothing and no one can change them, and then show them the meme. At least it gets a smile in any shitty situation.
I was wondering why it's this specific event that's triggered me so much and I found out after hearing the news about the law. My husband's been having health issues all year. It took over 30 doctors and exams and god knows what else just to get an official diagnosis. A bunch of devices for exams haven't been working for months, all across the country no less, so you gotta pay out of pocket at a private clinic that has a working one. All this because most of the good doctors have already left. And you also gotta pay out of pocket at those private clinics to talk to doctors now too, because if there are any good ones left, they're working there because it's less stressful and operates better post covid. And pays a bit more, but mostly it functions better. Thank god we've been able to afford it (freelance ftw!) There were three good ones in that process: the one that recommended the last one, an unrelated one that said your issues aren't from this organ, you can be 100% sure of that, and that last one that gave the diagnosis. And we know it's correct because I haven't seen a single complaint about that doctor on any forum. I don't think all the others we went to really even have brains, someone must have finished their schools for them given what they said and recommended. And I know that much with my degree in English. But imagine being so horrible that you literally let patients die so you can make more money?! When most of them are already poor so they resort to selling everything they own just for the chance to spend more time with their loved ones?! And you're already in one of the highest paid fields here?! On top of everything, people can't even speak up or out about it because corruption and politics run so deep they immediately threaten job loss for you and your family too. I wanna set this place on [redacted] and watch the aftermath calmly as they did to a makeshift covid hospital a couple of years ago. And I mean that literally. That's a whole other story where "no one is at fault" because they can play it that way.
God I hope this is the last time I send you one of these. But I already read some superficial reports earlier today of new fucked up issues being uncovered so I guess no dice. I hope someone protects the journalists, if this keeps going on they'll have it worse because evidence shows these politicians aren't above literal murder to get their way.
sorry for clogging up your ask box with all this, and as I always appreciate you for listening <3
you don't have to apologize at all, it is of course infuriating that these things continue to happen all across the world but it is so important that people stay angry about them! And talk about them!!! Health especially is such an important domain to navigate because it puts SO MANY lives at risk I hate that this is happening
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crossnation · 1 year
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Transgender Ideology’s Voltaire Moment
On Monday, March 27, AD 2023, a 28-year-old shooter named Audrey Hale entered The Covenant School of Nashville, Tennessee, which is affiliated with a theologically conservative Presbyterian denomination, and opened fire. In less than 20 minutes, Hale had killed three children and three adults before being shot dead by police.
 At first report, it was an all too familiar situation in the United States. Yet another mentally ill, angry young person was able to legally purchase an assault weapon and went after a vulnerable target. Once again, the nation was reminded about the cost that the gun rights lobby is willing to make others pay in the name of their interpretation of the Second Amendment.
 And yet, there was something unique about this instance.
 The shooter turned out to be transgender (specifically, a biological female who was transitioning to male) and had reportedly chosen the school intentionally, rather than as a crime of opportunity. As Metropolitan Nashville Police Chief John Drake told Lester Holt of NBC News, Hale apparently had “some resentment for having to go to that school.”
  Hale had a manifesto that state and federal authorities are looking at, but have not yet released in full. While it is possible that there were other reasons for the attack, it appears that the likely cause of the mass shooting was a hatred of Christians who opposed transgender ideology.
 Even if the motive turns out to be something else, some online have already taken to sympathizing with the idea of murdering people who disagree with transgenderism.
 Josselyn Berry, the press secretary for Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs, was forced to resign after she posted a tweet around the time of the tragedy that called for the shooting of “transphobes.”
 Shortly after the mass shooting, Wyoming state Rep. Karlee Provenza shared a meme on social media depicting an armed elderly woman with a caption reading, "Auntie Fa says, Protect Trans Folks Against Fascists & Bigots!"
  To her credit, Provenza later issued an apology for "failing to recognize the potential impact of my actions on social media, which have contributed to inflammatory and distracting online discourse."
 “I do not wish violence on anyone, but I believe that Americans have the right to defend themselves and their communities — and that right extends to all of us,” she added.
 This is a new and frightening phase for the transgender rights movement.
 Up until now, the worst that most disagreeable people experienced was virtually nonviolent. Screws were being turned, as some governments meted out punishments to employees who refuse to use the “correct pronouns,” certain entities were threatened with losing federal funding, and girl athletes found themselves being forced to compete against biological males.
 Up until now, the closest thing transgender activists came to endorsing or propagating violence was the glorified body mutilation that trans-identified people endured in failed efforts to fully convert from one sex to the other.  
 The much quoted (and misquoted) French Enlightenment philosopher Voltaire once famously wrote that “whoever can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
  Voltaire being Voltaire, his comments were directed at the organized religions of his day, as he stated shortly after that remark that “from this derives all those crimes of religion which have overrun the world.”
 Nevertheless, in an America where many have supplanted their religious beliefs with their political views, this quote seems all too appropriate in describing what the transgender rights movement has become.
 Clarifications
 Granted, just about every group gets the allegation of being inherently evil at some point in their existence, with think pieces abounding on how the occasional bad actor is proof that a whole community or ideology is prone to atrocity, even when the vast majority of its numbers actually live in peace with others.
 There are those who believe that all Muslims are violent, and they will point to the occasional terrorist or terrorist group as proof. There are those who believe that all Catholic priests are pedophiles, and they will point to the occasional confirmed abuser or Church abuse coverup as proof. There are those who believe that all undocumented immigrants are dangerous, and they will point to the occasional convicted murderer who entered the nation illegally as proof.
 So, what makes the transgender rights movement fundamentally in line with the absurdities-atrocities saying of Voltaire, while other identity groups like the ones mentioned above simply have some rotten apples?
 Well, before venturing onward, it must be stressed that this critique is not aimed at the transgender community. As with the other aforementioned identity groups, the vast majority of trans-identified people are nonviolent, and are just as horrified at what happened at The Covenant School as everyone else.
  Also, stating what should be obvious, not all transgender individuals think the same way about public policy and social issues. Former Olympian and high-profile transgender public figure Caitlyn Jenner is a prime example, as he opposes allowing biological males who identify as female to play in women’s sports. There is also Scott Newgent, a biological female who identifies as male, who heads an organization called TReVoices that strongly opposes the gender transitioning of minors.
  Rather, it is the advocacy movement that has reached a Voltaire Moment. It is the ideology, the activists, the cause that champions itself as the protector of transgendered individuals. Many—possibly most—of this subsection of people are likely not experiencing anything resembling gender dysphoria. These are “cisgender” folks who identify as “allies,” and since they feel a need to prove their loyalty, they are willing to be more hardline and intolerant.
 My charges are against the ideologues, the activists, the professors, and any other group that has generated a culture that would fill a mind with absurdities that lead to atrocities.
 The Biological Absurdities
 We begin with the most obvious of absurdities that undergirds transgender ideology, which is the notion that men can become women and women can become men. While it is true that modern procedures can do much to change a human body, an exact switching of the sexes is still impossible.
  Sex differences are a part of our nature as a species. To quote one 2015 study: “Almost universally, animals have two sexes: male and female. In most cases, the genetic basis of sexual differences can be traced to the sex chromosomes. In humans, fruit flies, and many other animals, females have two X chromosomes and males have one X and one Y.”
 Granted, there are those identified as “intersex,” also known as those with “Disorders of sex development,” or DSD. This group has irregularities in their chromosomal makeup when it comes to their gender, as they can develop biological traits of both male and female.
 However, the intersex population is estimated to constitute only around 0.018% of the population, and is very much the exception to the rule.
  Put simply, the intersex community no more undermines the gender binary than the existence of infertile individuals undermines the idea that human beings are designed for reproduction.
 Transgender ideology proponents may invoke intersex individuals to justify their cause, but ultimately their cause is focused on people without chromosomal or genetic abnormalities who nevertheless consider themselves male even when their biological makeup says they are female, and vice versa.
 Surgical alterations like removing private parts or pumping oneself full of chemicals do not change chromosomes, nor do they alter the more fundamental features of each sex. The most effective sex change operations in the world cannot make a biological male capable of becoming pregnant, nor can they give a biological female the ability to produce sperm and semen.
  Even Healthline admits this when they insisted that “it’s possible for men to become pregnant and give birth to children of their own.” Here is how they justified such an unscientific claim:
 “In order to explain, we’ll need to break down some common misconceptions about how we understand the term ‘man.’ Not all people who were assigned male at birth (AMAB) identify as men. Those who do are ‘cisgender’ men. Conversely, some people who were assigned female at birth (AFAB) identify as men. … Many AFAB folks who identify as men or who don’t identify as women have the reproductive organs necessary to carry a child.”
 To put it more simply, women who claim to be men can get pregnant, but men who claim to be women cannot. Which means that, whether the popular website wants to admit it or not, men cannot in fact get pregnant.
 Apart from chromosomes and reproductive organs, transgender ideology fails to grasp the concept of innate and pervasive physical differences between men and women.
  Even when men and women are of comparable body size, as one 2004 study put it, “differences in bone mass and geometry confer greater skeletal integrity in males, which may contribute to the lower incidence of stress and osteoporotic fractures in males.”
  A 2018 study reported that “Body composition differs between men and women, with women having proportionally more fat mass and men more muscle mass,” adding that although “men and women are both susceptible to obesity, health consequences differ between the sexes.”
 And then there is testosterone. While produced by both men and women, testosterone is present in way higher amounts in normal healthy men than in normal healthy women.
 “In the healthy, normal males and females, there was a clear bimodal distribution of testosterone levels, with the lower end of the male range being four- to fivefold higher than the upper end of the female range (males 8.8-30.9 nmol/L, females 0.4-2.0 nmol/L),” noted one study from 2019.
  Although there are clear and well-documented biological differences, which are so fundamental to an individual as to be virtually unchangeable, the transgender movement insists that to simply identify as the opposite sex and maybe undergo some treatments actually changes someone.
 With this reasoning in tow, the movement supports the idea of men who identify as women competing in women’s sports, even with the aforementioned physical advantages among men being obvious.
 As a result, in recent times, male athletes who have been allowed to compete in sports designated for female athletes found themselves excelling in ways they never did when previously restricted to men’s sports.
 William Thomas, a trans-identified collegiate swimmer who now goes by the name “Lia,” went from being ranked 554th in men’s freestyle to becoming one of the top female swimmers in the nation.
   Jamaican runner Craig Telfer, who in 2017 ranked 390th among college aged men, went on to win the women’s 400-meter hurdles national title at the 2019 NCAA Division II Outdoor Track & Field Championships as “Cece.”
  And it is an advantage that persists even with extensive treatments, as a December 2020 study from the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that the unfair advantages last for at least a year, if not longer.
 “The 15–31% athletic advantage that transwomen displayed over their female counterparts prior to starting gender affirming hormones declined with feminising therapy. However, transwomen still had a 9% faster mean run speed after the 1 year period of testosterone suppression that is recommended by World Athletics for inclusion in women’s events,” noted the study.
 “This study suggests that more than 12 months of testosterone suppression may be needed to ensure that transgender women do not have an unfair competitive advantage when participating in elite level athletic competition.”
  Small wonder that, in an announcement made last month, The World Athletics Council decided to outright ban “male-to-female transgender athletes who have been through male puberty from female World Rankings competition.”  
 The Linguistic Absurdities
 Despite all the biological evidence against their cause, activists still insist that we refer to transwomen as women and transmen as men. And to say otherwise is so wrong as to be tantamount to violence.
  This was the conclusion reached by Khiara Bridges, a professor at the University of California-Berkeley at a Senate hearing held in July of last year.
 When Sen. Josh Hawley of Missouri argued that only women could get pregnant, Bridges declared that Hawley’s remark was “transphobic” and “opens up trans people to violence.”
 Hawley critically asked how it was that he was “opening up people to violence by asking whether or not women are the folks who can have pregnancies?”
 “Because denying that trans people exist and pretending not to know that they exist is dangerous,” Bridges responded.
 Bridges is not alone in this coupling of criticism of transgender ideology with violence, as GLSEN Executive Director Melanie Willingham-Jaggers has done likewise.
 Last November, when a mass shooting took place at Club Q, an LGBT nightclub in Colorado, Willingham-Jaggers was quick to blame nonviolent dissenters for the tragedy.
  “This weekend’s violence in Colorado Springs is the latest tragic consequence of the wave of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric that ring-wing politicians and figures are pushing across the country. We’ve seen it time and again: hate speech, especially hate speech enshrined in state bills, fuels hate crimes,” stated Willingham-Jaggers.
  Laverne Cox, a prominent transgender actor and public figure, has often declared that “misgendering a trans person is an act of violence,” or “cultural and structural violence.”
 According to far too many transgender movement figureheads and intellectuals, simply using the “wrong” pronouns or referring to someone by their pretransition name (“deadnaming”) is the same as physically attacking them.
 In the name of this belief, some government powers make it a punishable offense to “misgender,” “deadname,” or, in the case of Maya Forstater, take to Twitter and say something as scientifically accurate as "men cannot change into women.”
 Forstater ended up being fired from her job as a senior researcher at the London office of the think-tank Centre for Global Development as a result of that tweet.
  In 2019, an employment tribunal upheld her firing, with Judge James Tayler coming to the chilling conclusion that Forstater’s views are “not worthy of respect in a democratic society.”
  Sasha White, a former literary agency assistant at The Tobias Literary Agency, was fired from her position in 2020 because she had the audacity to publicly say that transwomen were not women.
  Peter Vlaming, who taught French at West Point High School in Virginia, was placed on administrative leave in 2018 for refusing to comply with the superintendent’s order to refer to a female student with male pronouns.
  The University of Michigan Health fired physician assistant Valerie Kloosterman in 2021 because she refused to affirm a transgender policy that included using preferred pronouns and personally take part in gender transition treatments.
  School officials in Vermont suspended a middle school coach because last year due to his alleged “misgendering” of a biological boy who was allowed to play on the girls volleyball team solely because he identified as female.
 These are just a few of the growing number of examples of people being punished for using saying things that are not actually wrong. And the transgender rights movement overwhelmingly approves of such persecutions.
 The Voltaire Moment
 Voltaire once wrote that “whoever can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
 In a nation whose political climate has become especially toxic in recent years, there are multiple causes that have seen some of their adherents turn to violence due to a medley of believing clearly false ideas, ideological isolation, and dehumanizing opponents.
 Trump supporters who believed the absurdity that the 2020 presidential election was rigged violently attacked Capitol Hill on Jan. 6, 2021 in a quixotic attempt to “stop the steal”; Pro-choicers who believed the absurdity that the overturning of Roe v. Wade meant the end of women’s rights launched a wave of vandalism against pro-life groups and pregnancy care centers in 2022.
 Consider this another tragic example of a cause having its Voltaire Moment.
 Before the Covenant School shooting, the transgender movement had already demanded that its adherents believe demonstrably absurd ideas, that any words against their views constituted violence against a vulnerable community, and that social institutions from government on down should punish those who oppose them.
 Justifying violence against people and institutions who disagree with their worldview is a very short distance from where the current transgender ideology mindset already stands.
 Hale was undoubtedly indoctrinated to believe that women could become men, that non-threatening verbal criticism was basically violence or possibly even “erasure,” and that critics of her identity were unworthy of basic respect.
 All the steps leading to violence were already built by the intellectuals of the movement; it was only a matter of time before someone decided to walk them up to the heights of destruction.
 Possible Solutions
 Does this mean that we should arrest every adherent to the transgender movement, every intellectual or activist who has advanced the absurdities listed above, as accessories to murder? Obviously, no. Former Secretary of State John Kerry made a great assessment when he once declared that “in America, you have a right to be stupid.”
  Nevertheless, for things to get better, the many social institutions who blindly believe everything that this arm of the overall LGBT movement says must reconsider their perpetual devotion.
 Mainstream news organizations should be more critical of claims made by transgender advocacy groups, more willing to publicize the harms associated with experimental puberty blockers and gender reassignment surgeries, and far less willing to stigmatize those who object to a cause that literally cannot even properly define the word “woman.”
 There is already some progress on this front, as the New York Times recently published a lengthy piece featuring several medical professionals and formerly trans-identified individuals expressing concerns about kids with gender dysphoria taking puberty blockers.
  Politicians should be more willing to enact legislation aimed at reigning in the moral excesses of this cause and stop presuming that every claim an LGBT advocacy organization makes is true.  
 Educators should stop telling their students that rational objection to any ideology is tantamount to violence. Even when a critic is wrong, they still can and do form nonviolent arguments. To claim that objectionable rhetoric is the same as horrid violence is to provide a very convenient excuse to be closed-minded, and dangerously so.  
 These are just a few starting points for holding a cause with unchecked power in society to account. Hopefully, pursuing these efforts will, at the least, prevent this Voltaire Moment from becoming a Voltaire Era.
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madchild-dennis · 1 year
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I think people have TWO big problems. They don't think before they do or not do something. They don't think beyond the NOW, if they do think.
What am I talking about?
I'm going to start with a story:
So I reset my phone for MANY reasons (including hopes to remove a hack that was done on it) and I felt for a different background picture. Then chose this:
Tumblr media
I scrolled in my pictures or it was a Google photos recommendation. But I liked it.
So when I wanted a break from the videos & Reels on my Instagram. I thought why not that picture. But when I post it, I wanted to share a story. I knew it was taken in the hospital. But I wanted to see when. That's when I noticed it was one of my last set of photos I took there, on Dec. 24, 2021. And the next set of pictures after was on the day I left the hospital, Jan. 8, 2021.
Hence making this post:
instagram
With this caption:
Fun fact: This was taken on Dec 24, 2021: Christmas Eve.
I also did NOT know which day it was and it was the last time I had my devices (laptop, phone, and more.) This was because the Doctors took them and gave them to my parents who went for a week-long hotel stay. As I was left in the Hospital where they manipulated the Doctors, twisted and lied to paint me as mentally ill.
.
I don't remember Christmas Day. I remember other patients family coming and spending time with them. I also was heavily medicated because of my parents lies, despite having proof when in a much dire, crazier and weird situation related to the same journey. They said that I'm NOT mentally ill. That's Canadians Psychiatric Trained Physicians while under intense observation.
.
PS: My hair was way longer. Damn.
Looking at the pictures on that day, I saw a 9pm picture. So they may have taken my stuff the next morning or something. I HONESTLY DON'T REMEMBER.
But I think that's irrelevant. I posted that post as a reference and hope that this year's Christmas would be different AND BETTER. As a reference to hope or appeal for better from, I guess the attackers, liars and/or the assholes. But if not them, it will be my mission. NO ONE will fuck it up for me this year!!! #peroidt.
That's when someone comment triggered the thought of not just my parents but ALL. Especially the liars, asshole and those who KNOW I'm right and refuse to obey God. I mean when they make their decision each day, moment or more do they think before the do it. Or even think beyond now. I mean do you THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE and what History WILL say about you?
I KNEW from the start I would be viewed as crazy. I even wondered if I was mentally sound MANY time (especially, before the hospital stay in Canada) but I KNEW it was GOD. So ultimately it will not end with me deemed crazy.
So what about those who don't have that certainty. Or WORST, those who KNOWS I'm not lying.
This post is literally focused on my parents, Pastor Micheal Todd, Raheem motherfucking Fowler, The MJW/MW organizers (less on them for some reason), King Charles, Elon Musk and more. I mean do they even think: "what if she's right..." Then continue. I know these aren't people who like to be viewed as villains. I mean they HATE it. They want status, honour, praises, and viewed as good things by the masses.
But SERIOUSLY DO Y'ALL THINK????
Ok let me start with myself:
I know when I call Mr. Fucking Fowler a no balls, bitch-ass motherfucking asshole; a whole chicken ass mama's boy. I know it makes me look MEAN. I know it makes me look disgusting. I thought about it and chose to say those things so it will not just hurt him but he'll continue his fuckery. Well it wouldn't actually make a difference. Because he IS those things. I just could have been nicer. By saying he's weak, no guts, not brave, etc. Which is the other part of why I did it, I do not care, like nor love him anymore. So I have no desire to approach him with love or care nor patience. I WANT TO BE DONE WITH HIM, and moving ACCORDINGLY.
Now if God NEVER makes a replacement for him (Raheem) and for some freak-accident-type-of-thing/miracle happens and we're together. Either he prove himself none of the above or not. But it's just the MEAN truth. And I look like someone who can be VERY mean but AFTER a year plus of FUCKERY!!!
Now what about everyone else? Did they think about their actions and what history, their legacy and more will say about them. What would LITERALLY affect their children, how they live, who they become or how they're viewed. So I'll start in reverse:
Elon Musk:
Well, I think with him. It's a matter of NOT KNOWING GOD. I mean he heard about some God/gods. May have a dislike for religion especially from observation, experience or lack thereof. So he just see it all as a FairyTale. But Tech, science, logic and money is him religion or what makes sense to him. So I & God is just a joke to him. Well, I think this will not just be a punishment, but if he wants it will be a cleansing for him. But God is definitely introducing himself to Elon Musk. That NO MATTER who he thinks he is, God is GOD. One that's NOT to be messed with or trifled. God is GOD. Then he will eventually, see and surrender to the GREATEST; God. Then humble himself and do as God asks. So history will show that, which he's lucky his lack of knowledge results in that. But if he chooses NOT to humble and surrender, God doesn't care and will do what he gotta.
King Charles:
What's sad, is the need to kill me is what keeps validating me and making the inevitable as such. Making sure I am what God says. I mean, if he humbled and acknowledge that damn if it's God, try get someone of that validation to justify their Monarch. One that existed for over a millennium. They literally CLAIM to be chosen and anointed by God but NEVER anything that's God-like proof seen all over the Bible. Like burning-bush, split seas, great God guided battles. Like that of Moses. Or Special God-chosen prophets anointing Kings like Saul, David, etc. Just self-appointed "special men" that claim to be special and say God chose that family. Actually they are just those people are like Pastors. Not prophets. Theres a difference. While if they had thought of another way to stay RELEVANT. As they've been trying to do for decades. They could have tried to gain it from me.
Sadly, he will lose it. His son, Harry, is already on the right track. William, I'm not too sure about. But it's either Charles will surrender what God asks. Or (based on the June-wedding list) William will be the one who will do so. Which would keep him relevant. NOT the existence of the Monarch remaining, BUT their lives not just preserved but still relevant and useful as celebrated symbols & physical representation for Britain; Special Celebrities. But NEVER as King or monarchs. (I'd request all children and grandchildren of this King, Charges, keep/granted the Prince & Princess titles. But that's where it ends with Regal titles of that familial ENDS as their monarchial time ENDS. Just Duke, Duchess etc. Thereafter)
MJW/MW:
I NEVER had too much bad to say about them. Nor do God, insist there's anything amiss. Other than there's a LOT of excuses and FEAR of backlash. So like Monday, I was inspired to put on my pink Infinity Dress. That may have been a fear or excuse. That I wouldn't be able to keep the integrity of the organisation's image. That's just the visual aesthetic. Basically, would I even have a dress. I believe my TikToks answered that question. Which may have left them slightly saddened at letting something they thought as problem, hinder them from doing as they wanted. I honestly DON'T know but God is letting me believe ALL that. As in they are trying, the humanly best they can. So their history and future WILL be good and as such. As they continue to try and find a way to obey.
R🙄😒ler (the fucker):
Well what's sad is, once he chose to lie about the past and his feeling. He didn't try to stop or apologize. Then to be gaslighted about it:
It wasn't just him, but his mother. Acting like they didn't do shit. Asking what's my worth. Claiming to want to charge me for sexual harassment. The clip above explains how this wasn't just lying but gaslighting at its highest. I mean at no point did they come around and say, "I lied because the girl's father threatened me. I'm sorry." Or "I lied because, I couldn't face myself and what I've done or keep doing especially if it makes me look like who I NEVER and try hard not to be. So admitting it means I failed myself. I'm sorry." Or some shit like that. Which now means admitting to lying, then bringing me to understand why but NOT dismiss what pain it caused. BUT NOOOOOOOOO.
What they've done for MONTHS was to double down on their fuckery. Well HIM especially. At least the mother tried within her limited capacity. But he NEVER TRIED. Not even via text. Not even a missed call.
History will say that my mean words are TRUE. Worst if I have to be with him. In fact, people may start a rally or some shit (as they already are doing) to convince me to leave him. OR even just completely hate, ignore or detest him. Especially if he is King. They might literally boo him in his FACE. For a VERY LONG TIME. Then with time they just have a constant hate with no reason because they forgot the original reason until reminded. Because he was a abusive, uncaring and disgusting asshole to their awesome amazing QUEEN who done so much good. Especially the things she been through for her country, people, him and all. They'd say he's an ungrateful, undeserving asshole (I mean just continuing the words I said). No matter how nice he seem. Because why then, when so much money and power is accessible, is he being nice. Which means he doesn't and didn't love her. Just an opportunist who wants money and power which would make the marriage VERY contradictory (I doubt God will allow all that. Hence why I am hopeful God will soon regrets his decision and provide a replacement. God doesn't contradict himself). And all the displayed affection or whatever seen would be deemed a performance to save face.
I mean did he even REALLY sit and think about his actions. Or ALL HE HAS DONE!!! DAMN. Then think about if he loses me. Which he CANNOT fathom. So then had he even THOUGHT about what that means when that happens, after ALL he has done, allowed, ignored or neglected. NOPE. NOT AT ALL. Not many people do that; THINK!
Pastor Michael Todd:
I think he has be SOOO focused on what he think I should or should not be doing that God has being using that as my Queen training. So I don't take bullshit from NO ONE. Sadly, while he's SO focus on what I should or shouldn't be doing, he forgot to look in the mirror and self evaluate. Or when he does, get to focus on my actions the self-eval becomes useless.
The thing is. He may think what he see is someone who lacks discipline, misguided or reading God wrong. And seem to be getting WORST with each week from the inception of the journey. So he does NOT want to do what Gods asks in his self-righteousness that he'd be giving audience to someone who needs TOO MUCH work. Especially someone calling God's name. Or what it would signify. Too much validation. Which would mean agreeing to the uncouth behaviour. Sadly, while he judges. God is building the Queen he NEEDS. However, that also MEANS it's going to ultimately hurt him.
If he refuses to do as God ask. Then there will be a replacement. When the replacement GLADLY does what God as unjudgingly. The truth of who was originally chosen for the task will remain KNOWN. All that notoriety and elevation he loves, craves and feels proud of as humbly he tries to be will rapidly be removed. It is what he loves and craves to the core. People will now question him as he preaches about principles, discipline, obedient and faith...CRAZY FAITH. To then see that someone with such GREAT principles, so disciplined, almost too obedient (cause the guy-part is MESSY) and obviously on one of the CRAZIEST faith journey. Then he chooses NOT to honour nor do his part in it. They'd say, "he must not be the pastor we thought he was. Worst he obviously choosing to go against his own preaching in EVERY WAY. Where's the principle, discipline, the faith or the OBEDIENCE. Ok NOT my pastor."
It's interesting because God asked me to put their church in one of my future plans to honour their obedience, future obedience and their vow to let the Holy Spirit LEAD. But I wonder, if God will make a replacement on that too because if the Lead Pastor cannot do all that, then he would not be leading by example. Nor would that be doing as they said they would work hard in doing.
My Parents:
Let's start with, God already said that, "they'll redeem themselves through my children." Which means that they were going to keep going until it's TOO late. That they'd have absolutely NO relation with me. That is because I'd have no interest in having one. Not out of hate but out of distrust, boundaries and all the fuckery. God already knew.
Plus I'm sure they thought about the future. I'm pretty sure they look at scriptures like Matt. 10:37 that basically says do not love your parents or child more than God as justification. So much so, that IF they believe, they have to kill me or I die from whatever, to "help God" or "protect the ministry". I'm pretty sure they'd do it. As much as I saw that passage as justification to DISTANCE myself. Because they've asked me to disobey God's direct instructions. Which mean I have to choose who I prioritize. Which is obviously GOD. I am CERTAIN their view which is like the extreme/majority of adventists who's mission is to focus on heaven and remove anything fighting the ministry. Worst false preaching; ANYTHING NOT ADVENTIST. Needs to know the truth or quieted/discredited, if necessary or too loud. Hence calling me the Antichrist &/or Bipolar/mentally ill.
I'm pretty sure they believe the bible is complete and have EVERYTHING necessary to know. So anything new from anyone or even from the Holy Spirit is discredited. Plus they have their E.G. White; their modern day prophet. No need for more or any other information.
They do it ALL for the reward they'd get in the Heaven & New Earth. Maybe a new star on their crown. A special commendation from God or just knowing they did their part in the MiNiStRy of Preaching and sharing the TRUTH. So I'd say they're the ONLY ones thinking. But VERY misguided. Not thinking from love, care or such...
Meh, God allowed it, so that I receive what God said and had planned: ULTIMATE AUTHORITY. So NOT EVEN my parents have my ear or authority over me. It's ONLY GOD who has my ear!!!
At the end of the day, is NOT the NOW that matters. It's the looking back on the now that matters We can see a small sample. Just a year ago. What happened or how did you participate or how do you feel about it. So if God looks back, do you like what He'd see or say about your past. The past that you ONLY thought of yourself or what you wanted or preferred or wanted to gain. Focusing on that very MOMENT. All that will ultimately determine what he'll say.
Whether it's "come my child" or "depart from me..."
Hence why you should think forward. Not just about others opinions, but THE ULTIMATE opinion; God's. You can't live in the NOW to gain favour in God's eyes. Not even thinking about tomorrow is enough. Think about your actions (or lack thereof) through the eyes of God; think forward then look back at it.
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poptod · 3 years
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Cyber Security (Elliot Alderson)
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Description: An online ad leads him to you, though in reality he has little interest in your ad. What interests him is how you accidentally doxxed yourself and how oblivious you are to that fact.
Notes: idrk what to say about this one its one of those things that i wrote at midnight after almost falling asleep to a fantasy and then realizing it could work as a fic. like i did this same thing with ‘close your eyes’ that one was also a before-bed-to-get-to-sleep fantasy. this is also not a particularly romantic interaction, though it can be read as such WC: 2.2k
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Sweat drenched his sheets, bathing him in the cold wind that breezed past his only air conditioner lodged in a nearby window. He stared blankly upwards, half shivering and half overheated, as he once again found himself in a familiar predicament—the practice of sleep.
It was no secret he had trouble calming himself down, and that aspect of himself reached into the evening, as well. He already downed three melatonin pills hours earlier, along with smoking a joint that should’ve put him to bed. Unsurprisingly, that did not work.
“Xanax,” he mumbled to himself, hearing it bounce back from empty walls. “Need to get xanax.”
In the meantime he raised himself to his feet, padding across freezing floors to his computer. With a click of a button the white screen buzzed to life, shining bright onto his sleep-heavy eyes, that did their best to acclimatize to the sudden change.
Hypnotization—strange as it might’ve been—had worked a couple times before. Not all the time, but decently enough to give it a try. He had work in the morning and he didn’t need to be more miserable than usual, especially since he hadn’t slept almost the entire weekend.
sleep hypnosis
The blinker flickered for a moment before his fourth finger slammed down on enter, the last step in calculated movements. What popped up first was a video titled [ SLEEP HYPNOSIS ] 8 Hour Loop with a screencap of a spinning black and white screen. Below that, however, was something he hadn’t seen before—a YouTube video titled exactly what he’d typed, lacking the caps just as he had. The title screen appeared to be some sort of poorly-drawn painting.
Curiosity overcame his hazy, aching head, and he clicked, finding a playlist of videos containing what could be the titles of songs, along with several different poorly-drawn title screens.
The first video began to play before he could realize it. What he first noticed was it was bereft of ads—that meant the publisher made no money off the album.
Sat in the presence of God
whose name means filthy old fraud
Captions had been manually added by, he assumed, you. The author. There were three views on the video, no comments, and no likes, leaving few other options.
Maybe it was the melody—maybe the lyrics, who talked of a world plagued by aristocrats. But he found his eyelids heavy, dropping dark eyelashes in his vision that blurred the screen. By the third song, reciting verses of an Islamic poem, he was slouched in his seat.
He slid down to the floor, crawling his way back to flop onto his bed. The music continued to play till the first ad popped up, at which time he opened his eyes, seeing a music video from Katy Perry, at which time he promptly reached over and unplugged his computer. He wasn’t sure which cord he pulled out, but the screen still went black. With that, he just barely sneaked into his covers, dozing until the morning.
It was far too easy to get information on you. Your full name was stated clearly in your youtube bio, alongside several different social media tags leading to instagram, tumblr, and facebook.
Facebook alone provided him the means to your address, and he didn’t even have to go looking for it. Your most recent post was an ad, searching for someone good with computers to aid you in your recording process, which you noted as ‘dismal’.
Are you fucking kidding me? He thought to himself, reading the ad once more.
Your address, your real, physical address was stated as the place you wanted to meet those interested in helping you. On the internet. You had doxxed yourself after less than a year of being online.
Okay, he thought, clicking on your listed email. Someone needs to be taught a lesson.
Three days later—after about two weeks of listening to your echoing voice every night—you replied, sending a cheerful email detailing when you would be available to meet him. After shooting a short message back, the date was organized.
Two more days and he was standing at your doorstep, his neck craned upwards as he scanned your tall, narrow home squished between two other apartments. He just barely knocked before the black door swung open, revealing a familiar face belonging to a stranger. Elliot was dressed in his black hoodie and jeans, a stark difference to your long, colorful robes, coming out of a sort of fantasy world.
“Hi,” he said, his voice grating with how low and quiet he kept it.
“Hello,” you said with a smile that did not match his hunched posture. “Are you Mr. Alderson?”
“Elliot,” he corrected, his chin just barely raising to meet you. “Elliot Alderson. Elliot works.”
“Alright,” you said, nodding. “Come inside? I was just making tea. Do you like tea? Or do you prefer coffee?”
“I... I’m fine, thanks,” he said softly, scooting past you when you opened the door wide enough for him to enter. He sucked in a breath as his chest brushed yours.
Your home was modern—far fancier than Elliot’s own apartment, with large windows flanked by soft grey curtains. A small, upright piano was in the corner of the living room, set upon a reed mat lined with Korean symbols. The couch was clinical, made of a sort of black plastic leather that matched the grey skies beyond the window panes.
He sat down, shifting his feet closer together as his fingers dug into his palms, continuing to scan the room in its’ entirety until you returned with your own tea.
“What kind of experience do you have? School counts,” you said, setting your cup down on a tiny plate whose decorations matched your teacup.
“I’ve been... experimenting, with computers, since I was around 9,” he said, mumbling the words out as his shoulders hunched awkwardly down. “Have a job at a cyber security firm. Started a while back.”
“You still have that job?”
“Yeah,” he said with a small nod. “Jus’ thought this would be... fun.”
The dead look on his face indicated no humor whatsoever, but you took his word as it was.
“How’d you find the ad I put out?”
“I... I listened to your music,” he answered honestly for once. “Helps me fall asleep.”
“Oh,” you said, clearly taken aback. Your face grew warm as you glanced away with wide eyes. “I’m glad I could help.”
“You’re not very good with technology, though,” he said in his usual low, grating voice.
“Not really,” you chuckled sheepishly. “That’s why I put out the ad -“
“No, not that,” he interrupted you. “You put your physical address on the internet. You doxxed yourself. Do you even know how dangerous that is?”
The lyrics of your songs pointed towards a kind of brilliance, balanced against emotions felt thoroughly on pages and screens. It didn’t match your actions at all.
“What’s doxxing?” You asked.
Elliot had to physically stop himself from sighing and leaving.
“You want everyone to know where you, a minor celebrity, live?”
“I’d hardly call myself a -“
“I could’ve been a murderer,” he said, reaching into his bag.
He looked you in the eye as he pulled out a gun, clicking on the safety before he pointed it at you.
“This is how easy it would be to kill you.”
As expected, you stiffened at the sight of the iron barrel, your fingers withdrawing to your chest. Your lips pursed as you met his gaze once more.
“Please put the gun down,” you whispered, your voice cracking.
He did as you said, resting the gun on the table.
“That’s a hell of a way to start an interview, Mr. Alderson,” you said quietly. “Please get out of my house.”
His heart sank. What had he expected? For you to fall to your knees and sing to him as he desired you to do? He threatened you with a gun to teach you a lesson, and you reacted accordingly. Calmer than others would.
Elliot stood on shaky legs, sliding the pistol into his backpack before he zipped it up. Throwing the pack over his shoulder, he swallowed through a tight throat, shuffling as he delayed his departure.
“Keep safe from people like me,” he said in a strained mumble. “Take that ad down. Meet people from the internet only in inhabited, public areas.”
You tapped your fingernails on the table for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip. Suddenly you stood, tugging on his sweatshirt sleeve to get him to face you, instead of staring at his feet.
“Alright. If you’re really so good at the internet -“
He ignored your incorrect grammar.
“- and... if you actually do want to help me with my songs,” your tone softened, “then you’ll be able to find my real name, not my stage name. If you do.. I’ll hire you.”
“Alright,” he said monotone, knowing the battle was already won.
Even though he knew your name already, he turned away and left to his apartment, immediately going to work on figuring out everything he could about you. If you willingly still offered him the job after that, he knew it would take a lot to scare you off. He could impress you.
It was, after all, the only thing he was good at.
Two days later he showed up at your apartment again, quietly thanking you when you let him in. The clean floors and walls remained unchanged since his last visit, and you led him to the same table, sitting him down on the same seat.
“Your name is (Y/N) (L/N),” he started with. You already appeared to be surprise. “You grew up near LA and you’ve had a chronic illness all your life. At eleven you saw your first therapist.. that must’ve been when you first got diagnosed with depression... and anxiety.”
“Killer duo,” you muttered.
“Your parents split when you were thirteen, which came at the same time as your dog, Penelope, died. Or... sometime that year. When was that... 1997?”
“1999,” you said quietly.
“Your mom homeschooled you,” he continued. “That’s probably why you don’t know how computers work. Rather eclectic, in a.. boring way... an ex-Amish, right?”
You nodded and his heartbeat tripled. Everything was right thus far despite a two year difference in his guesstimate of your life’s timeline.
“Then there was your dad... logger in the Redwood forests. Burly guy. Not a great man, from what I saw,” he said.
“He was fine,” you said with a small shrug as you looked away. “Didn’t ever hurt me, or anything.”
“Abuse isn’t always physical,” he said faster than he could think, dizzied by his own memories playing behind his eyes.
“I know,” you murmured.
You went silent, so he continued, hoping to pry more precious words from you.
“Your favorite color is yellow,” he said, leaning closer to you. “On Valentine’s you get chocolate strawberries, and on easter you get kinder eggs.”
Nothing.
“You studied mythology as a kid, and you made paintings of the forest you lived in with your mom. Santa Cruz mountains, I think.”
“Yeah,” you said. “I miss the forests.”
“I know. You want to visit Ireland again because it’s a land of faeries and moss, it’s a breeding ground for your song lyrics.”
“How did you find all this out?” You finally asked.
“You use the same password on everything,” he said, though that was far from the actual answer. “Your web browser tracks all your movements and you don’t try to stop it, or hide ads, or stay away from sketchy websites. Your parents aren’t much better, either.”
You chuckled, shaking your head as you brought your hand to massage your brow.
“You’re way too smart to be helping me,” you said with soft laughter, blushing with your smile.
“It’s better than working for E Corp,” he said, huffing out a laugh that was hardly humored.
“E corp?”
“My.. uh, place of work,” he brushed off his slip. “My point is... I’d rather work with you and do easy work than work with my current fucking coworkers.”
You laughed, truly and fully this time, curling into a little ball that shook with the force of it. Your feet tucked into your tiny chair, making you even smaller.
“Bad people or just annoying?”
“Stupid,” he chuckled. “Don’t let me wear my sweatshirt.”
“Ooh, now it’s my turn,” you suddenly interrupted him, earning a strange look. “I’ve noticed things about you, too. I couldn’t learn anything off the computer, but you, you have anxiety too. Probably some childhood trauma.. maybe a dissociative disorder of sorts or a form of PTSD. Your jacket is like your home, and... you have sensory issues. Few types of fabric, don’t like to be touched, if I had to guess I’d say you might be autistic.”
“Blunt,” he said after a full minute’s silence.
“Do you mind?” You asked.
“No, not really.”
“Good. Then you’re hired,” you said with a smile, extending your hand for him to shake. “If you still want the job, of course.”
He watched you with evident apprehension, but took your hand after much thought, shaking with a firm grip.
“When do I start?”
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notsoheadless · 3 years
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Remember Longcat, Jane? I remember Longcat. Fuck the picture on this page, I want to talk about Longcat. Memes were simpler back then, in 2006. They stood for something. And that something was nothing. Memes just were. “Longcat is long.” An undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. Water is wet, fire is hot, Longcat is long. Memes were floating signifiers without signifieds, meaningful in their meaninglessness. Nobody made memes, they just arose through spontaneous generation; Athena being birthed, fully formed, from her own skull.     You could talk about them around the proverbial water cooler, taking comfort in their absurdity. “Hey, Johnston, have you seen the picture of that cat? They call it Longcat because it’s long!” “Ha ha, sounds like good fun, Stevenson! That reminds me, I need to show you this webpage I found the other day; it contains numerous animated dancing hamsters. It’s called — you’ll never believe this — hamsterdance!” And then Johnston and Stevenson went on to have a wonderful friendship based on the comfortable banality of self-evident digitized animals.     But then 2007 came, and along with it came I Can Has, and everything was forever ruined. It was hubris, Jane. We did it to ourselves. The minute we added written language beyond the reflexive, it all went to shit. Suddenly memes had an excess of information to be parsed. It wasn’t just a picture of a cat, perhaps with a simple description appended to it; now the cat spoke to us via a written caption on the picture itself. It referred to an item of food that existed in our world but not in the world of the meme, rupturing the boundary between the two. The cat wanted something. Which forced us to recognize that what it wanted was us, was our attention. WE are the cheezburger, Jane, and we always were. But by the time we realized this, it was too late. We were slaves to the very memes that we had created. We toiled to earn the privilege of being distracted by them. They fiddled while Rome burned, and we threw ourselves into the fire so that we might listen to the music. The memes had us. Or, rather, they could has us.     And it just got worse from there. Soon the cats had invisible bicycles and played keyboards. They gained complex identities, and so we hollowed out our own identities to accommodate them. We prayed to return to the simple days when we would admire a cat for its exceptional length alone, the days when the cat itself was the meme and not merely a vehicle for the complex memetic text. And the fact that this text was so sparse, informal, and broken ironically made it even more demanding. The intentional grammatical and syntactical flaws drew attention to themselves, making the meme even more about the captioning words and less about the pictures. Words, words, words. Wurds werds wordz. Stumbling through a crooked, dead-end hallway of a mangled clause describing a simple feline sentiment was a torture that we inflicted on ourselves daily. Let’s not forget where the word “caption” itself comes from: capio, Latin for both “I understand” and “I capture.” We thought that by captioning the memes, we were understanding them. Instead, our captions allowed them to capture us. The memes that had once been a cure for our cultural ills were now the illness itself.     It goes right back to the Phaedrus, really. Think about it. Back in the innocent days of 2006, we naïvely thought that the grapheme had subjugated the phoneme, that the belief in the primacy of the spoken word was an ancient and backwards folly on par with burning witches or practicing phrenology or thinking that Smash Mouth was good. Fucking Smash Mouth. But we were wrong. About the phoneme, I mean. Theuth came to us again, this time in the guise of a grinning grey cat. The cat hungered, and so did Theuth. He offered us an updated choice, and we greedily took it, oblivious to the consequences. To borrow the parlance of a contemporary meme, he baked us a pharmakon, and we eated it.     Pharmakon, φάρμακον, the Greek word that means both “poison” and “cure,” but, because of the
limitations of the English language, can only be translated one way or the other depending on the context and the translator’s whims. No possible translation can capture the full implications of a Greek text including this word. In the Phaedrus, writing is the pharmakon that the trickster god Theuth offers, the toxin and remedy in one. With writing, man will no longer forget; but he will also no longer think. A double-edged (s)word, if you will. But the new iteration of the pharmakon is the meme. Specifically, the post-I-Can-Has memescape of 2007 onward. And it was the language that did it, Jane. The addition of written language twisted the remedy into a poison, flipped the pharmakon on its invisible axis.     In retrospect, it was in front of our eyes all along. Meme. The noxious word was given to us by who else but those wily ancient Greeks themselves. μίμημα, or mīmēma. Defined as an imitation, a copy. The exact thing Plato warned us against in the Republic. Remember? The simulacrum that is two steps removed from the perfection of the original by the process of — note the root of the word — mimesis. The Platonic ideal of an object is the source: the father, the sun, the ghostly whole. The corporeal manifestation of the object is one step removed from perfection. The image of the object (be it in letters or in pigments) is two steps removed. The author is inferior to the craftsman is inferior to God.     Fuck, out of space. Okay, the illustration on page 46 is fucking useless; I’ll see you there. (21) But we’ll go farther than Plato. Longcat, a photograph, is a textbook example of a second-degree mimesis. (We might promote it to the third degree since the image on the internet is a digital copy of the original photograph of the physical cat which is itself a copy of Platonic ideal of a cat (the Godcat, if you will); but this line of thought doesn’t change anything in the argument.) The text-supplemented meme, on the other hand, the captioned cat, is at an infinite remove from the Godcat, the ultimate mimesis, copying the copy of itself eternally, the written language and the image echoing off each other, until it finally loops back around to the truth by virtue of being so far from it. It becomes its own truth, the fidelity of the eternal copy. It becomes a God.     Writing itself is the archetypical pharmakon and the archetypical copy, if you’ll come back with me to the Phaedrus (if we ever really left it). Speech is the real deal, Socrates says, with a smug little wink to his (written) dialogic buddy. Speech is alive, it can defend itself, it can adapt and change. Writing is its bastard son, the mimic, the dead, rigid simulacrum. Writing is a copy, a mīmēma, of truth in speech. To return to our analogous issue: the image of the cheezburger cat, the copy of the picture-copy-copy, is so much closer to the original Platonic ideal than the written language that accompanies it. (“Pharmakon” can also mean “paint.” Think about it, Jane. Just think about it.) The image is still fake, but it’s the caption on the cat that is the downfall of the republic, the real fakeness, which is both realer and faker than whatever original it is that it represents.    Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic. οὐκ οἶσθα, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τό γε ὡς ἀληθῶς ψεῦδος, εἰ οἷόν τε τοῦτο εἰπεῖν, πάντες θεοί τε καὶ ἄνθρωποι μισοῦσιν; πῶς, ἔφη, λέγεις; οὕτως, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τῷ κυριωτάτῳ που ἑαυτῶν ψεύδεσθαι καὶ περὶ τὰ κυριώτατα οὐδεὶς ἑκὼν ἐθέλει, ἀλλὰ πάντων μάλιστα φοβεῖται ἐκεῖ αὐτὸ κεκτῆσθαι. “Don’t you know,” said I, “that the veritable lie, if the expression is permissible, is a thing that all gods and men abhor?” “What do you     mean?” he said. “This,” said I, “that falsehood in the most vital part of themselves, and about their most vital concerns, is something that no one willingly accepts, but it is there above all that everyone fears it.” Man’s worst fear is that he will hold existential falsehood within himself. And the verbal lies that he tells are a copy of this feared dishonesty in the soul.
Plato goes on to elaborate: “the falsehood in words is a copy of the affection in the soul, an after-rising image of it and not an altogether unmixed falsehood.” A copy of man’s false internal copy of truth. And what word does Plato use for “copy” in this sentence? That’s fucking right, μίμημα. Mīmēma. Mimesis. Meme. The new meme is a lie, manifested in (written) words, that reflects the lack of truth, the emptiness, within the very soul of a human. The meme is now not only an inferior copy, it is a deceptive copy.     But just wait, it gets better. Plato continues in the very next section of the Republic, 382 c. Sometimes, he says, the lie, the meme, is appropriate, even moral. It is not abhorrent to lie to your enemy, or to your friend in order to keep him from harm. “Does it [the lie] not then become useful to avert the evil—as a medicine?” You get one fucking guess for what Greek word is being translated as “medicine” in this passage. Ding ding motherfucking ding, you got it, φάρμακον, pharmakon. The μίμημα is a φάρμακον, the lie is a medicine/poison, the meme is a pharmakon.     But I’m sure that by now you’ve realized the (intentional) mistake in my argument that brought us to this point. I said earlier that the addition of written language to the meme flipped the pharmakon on its axis. But the pharmakon didn’t flip, it doesn’t have an axis. It was always both remedy and poison. The fact that this isn’t obvious to us from the very beginning of the discussion is the fault of, you guessed it, language. The initial lie (writing) clouds our vision and keeps us from realizing how false the second-order lie (the meme) is.     The very structure of the lying meme mirrors the structure of the written word that defines and corrupts it. Once you try to identify an “outside” in order to reveal the lie, the whole framework turns itself inside-out so that you can never escape it. The cat wants the cheezburger that exists outside the meme, but only through the meme do we become aware of the presumed existence of the cheezburger — we can’t point out the absurdity of the world of the meme without also indicting our own world. We can’t talk about language without language, we can’t meme without mimesis. Memes didn’t change between ‘06 and ‘07, it was us who changed. Or rather, our understanding of what we had always been changed. The lie became truth, the remedy became the poison, the outside became the inside. Which is to say that the truth became lie, the pharmakon was always the remedy and the poison, and the inside retreated further inside. It all came full circle. Because here’s the secret, Jane. Language ruined the meme, yes. But language itself had already been ruined. By that initial poisonous, lying copy. Writing.     The First Meme.     Language didn’t attack the meme in 2007 out of spite. It attacked it to get revenge.     Longcat is long. Language is language. Pharmakon is pharmakon. The phoneme topples the grapheme, witches ride through the night, our skulls hide secret messages on their surfaces, Smash Mouth is good after all. Hey now, you’re an all-star. Get your game on.     Go play.
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milkandsnails · 3 years
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victor after a mild inconvenience
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EDIT (mini essay incoming): Looking back, this was likely seen as me poking fun at Victor's character himself for his obvious health problems, which wasn't my intention, and now ashames me deeply. If you knew me back when I posted about the novel, you'd likely recall how I objected greatly to opinions that reduced Victor to a mere monster or the only reprehensible character. I didn't enjoy the sense of schadenfreude that some people appeared to have regarding his severe mental and physical struggles. It was in part because, as a troubled 16-17 year old with their own mental and physical issues, I saw parts of my own pain and loneliness in his isolation and fixation on work over all else.
I will explain my flawed reasoning when making this post. I created it focused on the idea of his fainting and sickness as a general literary device Shelley continously used— à la the archaic trope of characters swooning excessively— to show a heightened response to situations of horror. The idea I was getting at is referenced here:
Unlike a straight faint, the literary swoon is never just a medical matter – it’s often the product of overwhelming feeling or the return of something repressed. Swooning has long been used by writers to dramatise moments of crisis, ecstasy and confusion, and the failure of language to express these extremes.
I was (poorly) making light of this as a frequent literary trope, not the actual character himself. A good deal of this is down to the fact we were simply taught this was the way to interpret his illness in our English Lit class at the time— as a device actively chosen by the author to heighten the Gothic themes of horror, in a way detatching these symptoms from the true constitution of the person who suffered them. His sickness, in this light, therfore was more equated to a literary method, rather than being rightfully rooted back into his actual character.
But teaching can still have questionable ideas or limited outlooks, so I should have reflected properly on what we were taught and come to my own conclusion.
This interpretation absolutely doesn't work when considering the post and my awful wording, and I deeply apologise. Even if this is a Gothic device Shelley used at points, and that some of Victor's illness could be attributed to natural reactions to hardship (such as at the beginning when meeting Walton), Victor still also shows signs of chronic health issues under a modern and understanding lens, more than any other character, so my original idea becomes invalid regardless.
I'm well aware of the way comments on Victor's health swerve into ableism, having been upset myself by terrible takes regarding his need for care during times of sickness— and the exaggerated, sarcastic tone used for this caption can easily be viewed that same way. Even if I had just broadened my joke to involve literary characters in general, who are otherwise able-bodied and healthy, rather than singling out Victor, it would have been clearer what my aim was. But nowadays, I would simply never make this sort of comment anyway.
So again, I'm sincerely sorry. This was almost 2 years ago; and 17-year-old me, despite not being a great deal younger, was a lot less mature and mindful at times! As someone who struggled mentally and had already developed my own chronic condition at that age, it was even more negligent of me to spread further bad-taste content about Victor's implied illness, unintentional as this interpretation was. I hope anyone who by chance sees this can accept my apology.
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