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#im already fucking angry im not taking being talked down to because im autistic
disconnected-dragon · 7 months
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yknow I really didn't think it was possible to make me angrier at JK Rowling but then I found out she wrote a book abt an autistic person being sucked into a cult (that's totally not an analogy for trans people what you talking abt) because they just can't possibly know what's good for them, they need their fathers to come and hire private investigators to get them out of a cult. And in the book autistic people are referred to by the r slur and called "a bit simple".
I didn't think it was possible for me to hate this paternalistic, honeyed head-patting, self-righteous, hate-driven HAG of a woman more than I did but fuck me here we are.
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iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years
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persona characters autism headcanons!
hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3
(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)
P5
Joker
there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren
he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it
he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions
mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...
tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played
maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol
his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”
overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!
mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice
puns (Gorou the Goroumet)
he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired
executive function who? we do everything last minute folks
high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches
his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out
probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die
cant sit properly to save his life
smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or
if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly
hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup
his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city
hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer
but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling
Futaba
paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)
echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT
those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey
only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless
only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her
shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard
Technology. thats it
def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh
has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous
“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations
video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her
probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections
probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose
wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is
the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj
also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...
hides in small spaces for comfort
doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?
Yusuke
art
his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate
talks seriously all the time
“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”
cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either
lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy
infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it
needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho
visual stims my friends
he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!
I am certainly in the mood
for something salty today.
he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact
Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing
morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it
P4
Souji/Yu
yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this
Schedule or Death
“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”
cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want
has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..
inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm
he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)
Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this
unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)
writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus
Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding
hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.
cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands
he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother
really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person
video games are too chaotic for him
exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)
hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older
Yukiko
her jokes
she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together
she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important
actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people
like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her
she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing
the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this
her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person
Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)
happy flappy lesbian! watch out!
Naoto
the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf
hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)
“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”
no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)
probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends
constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’
he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(
does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.
loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi
not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.
his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person
P3
Hamuko/Minako/Kotone
big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off
interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body
bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!
very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist
switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her
SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning
professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it
collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(
hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg
dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom
gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier
 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed
Minato/Makoto/Sakuya
no talkies, no walkies
his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for
doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away
he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses
cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out
everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music
rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)
likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave
will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette
sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy
when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation
eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest
his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak
aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold
never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings
will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same
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shhhhyoursister · 4 years
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What about autistic Matteo doing one of his things, but David had a bad day so he is just annoyed at everything and snaps at Matteo. And Matteo is hurt, but like David didn't mean it against him personally and both are just hurt, but they talk it out.
oof oof damn okay okay yeah i can do this i know this feel lmao im gonna make this sad folks sorry
***
Matteo knew that he probably should have told David to stay home that night instead of coming over, because David had already told him that he was in a bad mood, and Matteo had had that crawling feeling under his skin all day and hadn’t stopped moving or making noises or pacing and spinning around his room since he had woken up. 
Matteo knew that David really didn’t care about his stimming, and was probably the most patient person Matteo knew, but he also knew that it could be fucking annoying to have someone bouncing around you and clicking their tongue and smacking themselves in the hip like Matteo had been doing all day. Just to be safe, he sent David a text saying, just a warning that i haven’t stopped stimming since i woke up, sorry if im annoying tongiht.
He really knew he should’ve told him to stay home when instead of responding like usual and telling Matteo not to apologize, he just sent back okay and nothing else. Before David even got there Matteo had already started trying to make his body calm, and he rolled a joint in case he was really struggling.
David got there when it was already dark out, and Matteo was feeling tired and overwhelmed from a day of aggressive stimming. He could tell that he was a probably a little on edge too, worrying so much about how the night was going to go, so when David came in with a tight smile and barely kissed Matteo on the cheek before walking into the flat so he could take his coat off, Matteo’s fingers started flicking at his side.
They ended up in his room as David actually had stuff he needed to do, so they took up their usual positions with David at Matteo’s desk, and Matteo lying on his bed. Matteo didn’t stay there for long though, understimulated just scrolling on his phone and listening to David’s angry clicking on his keyboard. 
He got up and resumed the pacing he had been doing before he got there, his eyes darting over when he heard David shift in his chair. He saw David sitting straight up, looking tense, and Matteo bit his lip, bouncing on his toes a little. He was trying as hard as he could to ignore the urge that was telling his legs to kick out and his head to shake and his tongue to click.
It was inevitable that it would all start, though, and it did, slowly and quietly enough that at first David ignored it, but it became hard to when Matteo would click his tongue and then stop, realizing how loud it was, and then do it again, and then stop again, just because he couldn’t hold it back.
He only really stopped when he heard a quiet, “Oh my god,” from his desk, and he whipped around at the same time that David snapped, “Matteo, can you just stop, please? I can’t even hear what I’m working on.”
Matteo snapped his mouth shut and felt his stomach clench at the words, and he stopped in his tracks. He stared at the back of David’s head, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweatshirt with his hands shaking a little, and took a breath.
“Sorry,” he said in almost a whisper, climbing back onto the bed, “I’ll stop.”
David didn’t respond, and Matteo sat still for a moment, his mind suddenly so full and cluttered that he had to physically shake his head out a few times, and he clasped his hands behind his back and laid back on his arms, pinning them under himself. It would stop him from moving, and the pressure eased a bit of the twitch under his skin.
He didn’t realize that he had started humming until David closed the lid of his laptop loudly, and Matteo startled at the sound before rocking up into a sitting position so he could watch David take a deep breath. He wanted to apologize but the entire situation was uncharted territory; David had never reacted so negatively to him stimming, to any aspect of Matteo being autistic, and it was making it hard for Matteo to think of enough words to make a sentence that would make sense outside of his own head. 
“I- um,” David said, his voice quiet but with an underlying anger that made Matteo tense up even more, and he watched David grab his phone before saying, “Um, Laura just texted me. She wants me to come home.”
Matteo could see from where he was that David hadn’t opened his phone, and the screen had no notifications on it, and felt his eyes pop open when he realized that David was trying to lie so he could leave. David still wasn’t facing him as he slid his laptop into his bag, and Matteo snorted before biting his lip and nodding.
“Laura texted you. Yeah, okay,” he said, not trying to hide the tone of his voice, “that’s what you’re going with?”
David stopped and turned to him, and Matteo could see a mixture of anger and obvious guilt on his face.
“Matteo-”
“No, it’s fine,” Matteo said, getting out of his bed, feeling too overwhelmed and upset and angry in a way he had never felt towards David to stay sitting down, and he crossed his arms tight over his chest and looked just to the side of David’s face and said, “I know I’m annoying. Next time just don’t fucking come over. Better than lying to me about having to leave.”
He turned away after saying it, and grabbed one of his pillows, clenching his fingers tight in the material as he heard David gather his stuff after a minute, and get out of the chair. He didn’t want to watch David pause at the door before leaving after saying nothing. Matteo lit the joint the second he was alone, and tried to ignore the angry tears that were on his cheeks. 
The next day, Matteo moped. He was allowed to. He knew that David wasn’t perfect, but he had been pretty fucking closet to it up until the previous night. He hated how it felt to be angry at David, because he was more sad than anything. He waited the whole day for David to text him, and when he didn’t, he smoked another joint and left his room to find Hans.
He was more shocked than Hans was that he was the first person Matteo chose to go to, but he knew he was in good hands when Hans tutted after hearing the basics of the fight and said, “Even the good ones are trash. Come, let’s drink some tea and you can complain about it.”
Matteo got comfortable at the table as Hans started brewing the tea, his fingers tapping gently on the table in front of him. Hans set the mugs down and Matteo watched the steam waft off of the tea for a minute before looking up at Hans, and starting to talk. Hans huffed and shook his head and hummed sympathetically in all the right places, and didn’t care that by the end of the story Matteo’s knee was bouncing against the bottom of the table and he was shaking his head in little twitches every other word. 
“You know that David loves you, and that he was having a shitty day yesterday. And you know that on an normal day he wouldn’t have said anything.” Hans said, trying to reassure Matteo, who just sighed and looked down at the table.
“Yeah, that didn’t make it okay for him to lie to me though,” Matteo said, knowing that it wasn’t the biggest lie in the world, but he couldn’t stop the way it made something in his chest tighten up. 
“No, of course not, butterfly,” Hans said, reaching out to put a hand on top of Matteo’ s but placing it on the table in front of him instead, “David’s a sweetheart, but he’s still a man.”
Matteo snorted, and took his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed. He saw a message from David saying, matteo, im so sorry about what happened last night. im a fucking idiot. can i come over so we can talk?
Matteo showed the message to Hans, who hummed as he read it and muttered, “At least he knows,” and then looked up at and smiled gently at Matteo and said, “you should probably say yes. Better to talk sooner rather than later.”
Matteo nodded and sent back okay, and got up to put his mug in the sink and told Hans he was going to wait in his room. He was nervous, and still upset, and he got so in his own head while he was waiting that he missed David’s text, and the buzzer, and only knew David was there when he heard a knock on his door, Hans having let David in.
He took a deep breath and shook his hands out before going to open it, and he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible despite the nerves that were making his tongue feel too big for his mouth.
“Hey,” David said, his face tilted to the ground and his voice quiet, and Matteo looked at his face before his eyes dropped to David’s hand that was gripping tightly to the strap of his bag, and David took a small step forward and asked, “can I come in?”
Matteo nodded and stepped back, letting David walk passed him into the room. He closed the door before turning around, and watched David take of his jacket before standing in the middle of the room looking uncomfortable. Matteo sighed and moved over to the bed, sitting and crossing his legs and twisting his fingers up in the fabric of his blanket. David sat in front of him and mirrored his position, but with his hands in his lap.
“Matteo,” he said, and then sighed, and then looked up at Matteo’s eyes as he said, “I was an asshole last night. Yeah, I was in a bad mood, but that didn’t give me the excuse to talk to you like that. Or,” he said, looking off to the side and poking his tongue into his cheek before turning back, “or to lie to you. That was fucked up. I’m sorry.”
“Why did you?” Matteo asked, his fingers grabbing around his own ankles and squeezing, and when David tilted his head at his question Matteo shook his head and said, “Lie. Why did you lie? You could have told me the truth. I know I was being annoying, you didn’t need to make up some excuse to get away from me.”
“You weren’t being annoying, that’s the thing,” David said, sitting up a little more as he explained, “you were just doing what you had to do. And I was in a bad mood, and yeah, maybe it wasn’t helping, but I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to be around you because you were stimming.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that, if we had talked about it at all,” Matteo said, “yeah, it’s something I have to do, but I’m not stupid David, i know that it can be annoying. And that’s okay. You do annoying shit too. We’re both people, it happens. Just fucking tell me next time, and I’ll either figure out something else to do or you can leave. I won’t be mad if you’re working on a film and you can’t do it here because I’m jumping up and down and whistling fucking Nintendo music.”
David smiled a little at that, before sighing, and he looked up at Matteo again and said, “I know you’re not stupid. I don’t know why I didn’t just fucking talk to you.”
“Because you’re a man, which makes you a fucking idiot,” Matteo said, reaching out to punch David’s knee and smirking a little when David looked back up at him, “Hans taught me that last night.”
“Oh, you talked to Hans about it,” David said, nodding his head, “that explains why he seemed pissed when he let me in.”
“Yeah, sorry about him,” Matteo said, and then looked up at David’s face and frowned a little, and quietly said, “I really don’t like being mad at you.”
“I’m sorry I made you mad.” David said, reaching out and putting a hand on Matteo’s knee slowly so Matteo could stop him if he wanted. The touch made something twist in Matteo’s torso, and without saying anything he scooted forward on the bed until he was in David’s lap, and he curled up tight as David sighed and wrapped his arms around him. 
“Don’t do it again,” Matteo said, only half joking as he jabbed a finger into David’s side to emphasize his point. He smiled at David’s quiet laugh, and cuddled closer into David’s chest when he felt David lean down to kiss him on the forehead. 
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violentviolette · 4 years
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So I was on your fandom blog and I saw that you believe Bakugou (at least in assuming) to have ASPD. Is wondering if you could expand on that? I personally see him as NPD but I'd love to hear your side of things
first off anon bless u for being on my fandom blog that takes courage cause it’s a wicked hot mess over there lol and secondly to everyone else yes im about to spend an embarrassing amount of effort overanalyzing an anime man, no u shouldn’t apply this logic to diagnosing real people u don’t know or urself, no its not that deep but yes u can fuck right off if u wanna cry about me headcanoning ur favs with “shitty” illnesses. eat my dick.
But now down to the good shit! So I actually think bakugou has comorbid aspd/npd. But for this since u said u already see him as having npd I’ll just focus on the aspd criteria but im totally down to talk more about npd as well if u wanna. (the rest is under a cut because frankly mobile users would have drawn and quartered me otherwise)
So first im gonna go thru the dsm v criteria that are required for diagnosis that bakugou fits/exhibits (leaving out the few things that don’t pertain to him just for length and also because not every person has to fit every single criteria to qualify)
1. Significant impairments in personality as manifested by
a. identity (self esteem derived from power, pleasure, or personal gain), self direction (goal setting based on personal gratification, absence of prosocial standards and culturally normal ethical behavior)
katsukis entire sense of self is built upon his ability to “win” and to always be number one and come out on top. He absolutely cant stand to be viewed as less than that because if so, his entire sense of self begins to crumble. Part of the reason he’s so antagonistic towards Izuku in the early chapters is the fact that Izuku challenges that identity. He (unintentionally and intentionally) challenges katsuki and wont give way to him (which is the right thing to do, but we see how “well” katsuki handles that). He also doesn’t have a good sense of “prosocial standards.” katsuki has created his own internal sense of morals and values, he’s decided whats worth his time and effort based on his own opinions and not on what society deems worthwhile behavior. He’s constantly getting admonished that his attitude “isn’t that of a hero” because his values are different than the ones of the society around him. But he doesn’t care, as long as he “wins” then everythings good. And its not until he stops “winning” and his behavior begins to get in the way of his goals does he begin to realize that he has a problem.
b. impairments in interpersonal functioning as manifested by lack of empathy (lack of concern for feelings, needs, or suffering of others) and lack of intimacy (incapacity for mutually intimate relationships, use of dominance or intimidation to control others)
I could frankly write a whole essay about just this bit alone but I’ll try to condense my thoughts. So. Lets talk about katsukis lack of empathy. This boy wouldn’t know another person’s emotions if they walked up and punched him in the face. Which they do. On multiple occasions. But I digress. Katsuki is known for his shitty bedside manner, his lack of concern for the feelings of others is literally what cost him his provisional license, but aside from with Izuku (who we’ve established is a source of Baggage for katsuki and shouldn’t be counted among his normal behavior because at the start of the series they BOTH bring out the worst in one another and overcoming that is part of both of their character arcs and growth and a main theme of the damn story. Win and save. Save and win. Ahem. But again I digress) katsuki isn’t vindictive or cruel in an unnecessary way about other peoples emotions. He doesn’t use them against people, it just doesn’t occur to him that they exist. But as we see katsuki grow and begin to try and change his unhealthy behavior, we see that he’s not oblivious of others emotions in the same way todoroki is (who I headcanon as autistic along with izuku (who also has adhd), but that’s a whole nother post lol), he just doesn’t know what to do with them. He can handle things like kirishima feeling insecure, because he can logically talk to him about how strong he is to encourage and support him, but really struggles with more intimate and open forms of emotional support, like with Izuku.
He also struggles with forming prosocial bonds and friends. At the start of the series katsuki doesn’t have friends, he has lackeys he controls with intimidation and fear because he doesn’t know any other way to be. He has trust and intimacy issues and doesn’t like people getting too close to him because he feels displays of vulnerability are what makes someone weak (see those asocial morals and values we talked about earlier). After his time at UA, a few large helpings of some humble pie, and the diligent and hard work of a small group of fearless idiots (aka kaminari whose literally too prosocial for his own good and has zero self preservation instincts, and kirishima who has an endless supply of patience and understands empathy and other peoples emotions to a degree that’s baffling to me) he is able to start deconstructing that idea and realizing that u can be vulnerable and let people close to u and still be strong. That the mortifying ordeal of being known isn’t actually the worst things ever. Also that when confronted with people who aren’t actually afraid of him, he doesn’t know how else to deter them from getting close to him. The fact that none of the other kids in 1-A take katsukis shit and even go so far as to pick on him and mock him and call him out on his bullshit is a MAJOR turning point for his socialization skills.
2. pathological personality traits in the following catagories
a. antagonism, characterized by hostility (persistent and frequent angry feelings, anger or irritability in response to minor slights or insults, nasty mean vengeful behavior), callousness (lack of concern for the feelings and problems of others)
I mean. Do I even have to expand on this point? I feel like no
b. disinhibition, characterized by impulsivity (acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli, acting without a plan or consideration for outcomes, difficulty establishing and following plans), risk taking (lack of concern for ones limitations and denial of the reality of personal danger, engaging in potentially risky and self-damaging activities without regard for consequences)
this is a criteria where u have to adjust for the world these characters are living in. but even then, by hero standards, katsuki is still impulsive. His teachers are constantly admonishing him in the early series for charging headfirst into a situation, loosing himself to his emotions and anger, and letting things get the better of him because hes not taking the time to properly assess the situation, this also bleeds into katsukis inability to work with others or ask for help. He charges headfirst into a situation by himself, blows up anything in his way, and then asks questions later. His teammates are often left totally in the dark to his plans, motives, or other moves and have to just play catch up to him the entire time. In the deku vs. kacchan 1 fight we see this behavior come out in full force. He has no plan, he blows up half the building with zero regard for their goals, and leaves iida completely in the dark. Momo pointing this all out and dragging him for filth during the recap is another wakeup moment for him, having to confront the realities of his impulsive and negative behavior whereas before he was only praised for it.
so if we take a look at even just that, which is still about ¾ of the diagnostic criteria, I think u can see where this really starts to explain his personality. Katsuki is hot headed, angry, impulsive, stubborn, selfish, he gets in his own way more often than not, he struggles with prosocial behavior, making friends, and relating emotionally to others. He has a hard time comforting people and usually does so in a blunt and logical way, he isn’t great at sympathy and being soft, kind, or gentle with other people. It takes a considerable amount of effort for him to realize where his world view and his morals and goals are warped and doing him more harm than good, and he absolutely cant stand to be vulnerable or honest about his feelings with others. 
All those things, imo, as someone with aspd & npd, are what make me feel like hes a good character representation of what the complexities of living with these disorders is like. Katsuki isn’t inherently a bad person, and as we see him grow and change, we see the ways in which hes becoming better, but its still hard for him. And despite what a lot of fandom thinks, if u look at the canon, the main person katsuki hurts with his behavior is himself. And I think that’s really important because people with aspd & npd are so often catagorized as abusive villians whose only goal in life is to hurt others. Whereas with katsuki we see where these things and this kind of thinking gets in the way of his goals and ultimately hurts him. and thats what I think makes him the most relatable and makes his growth all the much more satisfying. Katsuki is both fundamentally the same and an entirely different person from when we first meet him. his personality didn’t magically completely change, hes not just a tsundere whose suddenly all mushy feely and hyper empathetic, he’s just learning how to deal with his emotions and the world and getting better at being a healthy person.
So yea, those are my thoughts! There was apparently a whole 1600 words of them so my apologies for writing u a literal dissertation on this lol I just really love this fucking character
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Text
Oc bullshittery pt.7
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Bei: I trust flesh!
T.y: You think he knows what he's doing?
Bei: I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.
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Rico: [Finds a crumpled up piece of paper] Hey, what’s this?
Quinncie: Oh, that’s my to-do list!
Rico: Wow, you’re being so productive, good for you, I never thought that–
Rico: [reads what on the list]
Rico: This only has my name on it...
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T.y: What do you normally do when I’m gone?
Flesh: wait for you to come back...
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Peach: why is Quinncie crying?
Elliott: He's drunk and saw a picture of Rico's boyfriend
T.y: But he is Rico's boyfriend
Elliott: Like I said, he's drunk
Quinncie: [crying on the floor in the fetal position]
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Eva: [on day three of no sleep and forgetting to eat, looking completely dead inside] Self-care is for the WEAK!
Cake: [coughs]
Eva: [frantically swaddling her in blankets] We need an ambulance!!!
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Flesh: [Talking about Eva] Don’t worry! She likes your butt and your fancy hair.
Cake: [As she runs her hand through her hair] She thinks it’s fancy?
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Camie brown: Wait, you're gay? As in, gay...gay? As in, you like women?
Peak Lilly: I thought I was being...
Peak Lilly: Crystal queer
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Bei: alright boys ready to g– Thomas where’s your vest?
Elliott: [smiling mischievously] yeah Thomas where’s your vest?
Diel: ...
Diel: about that..
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Pimp: Quinncie, baby. How can I get back on your good side?
Quinncie: It’s gonna take about three weeks of not talking to me.
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Peak Lilly: Why aren't the dishes in alphabetical order!?
Camie brown: WhAt thE FuCK dOeS thAT eVEn MEAn!?
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Flesh: [being kidnapped] Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up!
Flesh: I'm assuming that means you'll be providing the toothbrush.
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Bei: [on the TV] Boss won't get off your back? Girlfriend won't stop nagging you?
Bei: Did that fuckstick Eva sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite the fact that you spent half your goddamn savings on it?
Bei: Have you considered... murder?
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My oc's as popular vines:
Quinncie: so no head?
T.y: what the Fuck is up Kyle?!
Peak Lilly: Look at all those chickens!
Flesh: Hi welcome to chilis
Chii: Fuck ya chicken strips!
Poppet: ThAtS My OpInIoN!!
Charlie: Chris is that a weed?!
Diel: what up I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fuckin learned how to read
Peach: Wooow
Bei: Ms Keisha? Ms Keishaaaa!? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead!
Paston: Hi my name is Trey I have a basketball game tomorrow.
Camie brown: I wanna be a cowboy baby!
Elliott: Im a bad bitch you can’t kill me!!!
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Flesh: [on the phone] dad? i need your help! Th–
Chii: is the apartment complex on fire?
Flesh: ...no?
Chii: then it’s not an emergency. [hangs up]
Dax: well?! what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?!
Flesh: [shrugs] apparently it’s not an emergency.
T.y: [being strangled by a demon] HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??
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Diel: [muttering]
Bei: Diel what are you doing?
Diel: I’m having an argument with myself so I can finally win something for once.
Bei: would you mind not doing that right now? We need to be quite-
Diel: Well I actually would mind, because I’m losing right now.
Bei: How can you lose an argument to yourself?
Diel: the voices in my head decided to join in, and they’re making some pretty solid points on why I should just kill the bad guys and take their money.
Bei: well that’s........ mildly concerning...
Elliott: MILDLY????!?!!
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Chii: In terms of instant relief canceling plans is like heroin.
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Chii: I hope flesh liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.
Voice mail: You have 17 new messages.
Chii: What?!
Flesh: Hey dad, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. T.y can’t drive and I ran iris's car into a ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.
Iris: You still owe me for that.
Flesh: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?
T.y: [groans]
Flesh: t.y, you’re up! Talk to you later, dad!
Voice mail: End of Message.
Chii: I’m not listening to all of these.[skips to the last message]
Voice mail: Message 17.
[loud screaming of pure terror as a booming demonic roar pierces the air]
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Rico: hey i used to b uglier believe it or not.
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Camie brown: What is the worst thing you've done sexually?
Charlie: .... I'm not sure what I'd want to call a worst..
Peak Lilly: A man..
Coccoh: pppfffttttt!
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Eva: Stay the fuck away from my man, I won’t tell you again!
T.y: BITCH! I don’t wan yo man. Nobody wants yo man. That’s why he’s wit you!
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Peak Lilly: It was the 80s, we did a lot of drugs back in those days.
Bren: How could she even do drugs?! She's a fucking alien!
Camie brown: Your mother found a way.
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Random cop: STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE ALL MENACES TO SOCIETY!
T.y: [decks said cop]
Bei: why did you do that??????????
T.y: I am not emotionally involved in this situation!
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Eva: i sleep with a bow and arrow under my bed.
Bei: oh yeah? i sleep with a gun under my pillow!
Ashton: weak! i sleep with a nanobotic suit ready to be equipped!
T.y: damn, you's all are paranoid as hell!
Eva: yeah? what do you sleep with?
T.y: Elliott.
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Flesh: So how about a change of name?
Diel: You know, one that sounds marginally less like a porno than your current one!
Bei: [unsheathes sword]
Diel: [running away] You just had to open your mouth!
Flesh: [ducking under a blade swing] My mouth? My mouth?!! This is your fault!!!
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Eva: [slides flip phone across floor] Fuck this and fuck you! You little spawn of Nokia!
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Peach: I wonder why I don't like anything around my neck.
Poppet: maybe you were hung in a past life?
[heavy pause]
Peach: I THINK IT MIGHT JUST BE BECAUSE I'M AUTISTIC, POPPET!
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Eva: -and that's why I think God doesn't exist!
Cake: sorry sugar, I wasn't listenin'.
Eva: what, why?
Cake: look hun, I just really want a cupcake
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Paston: wow, that jacket is so soft that if someone hugged you they'd die on impact. And I have a deathwish! So come here!
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Quinncie: [singing to the tune of "We Just Got a Letter" from Blue's Clues] I just got a message, I just got a message, I just got a message, and it's from your man!
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T.y: Bitches be like "You mine".
T.y: First off I'm on probation, "I" belong to the state.
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Bei: I was so angry at everything when i was 13. And i was right.
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Bei: [get assigned a mission out of the city]
Bei: [drives off]
T.y: [storms into the apartment]
Rico: [sorting files]
Flesh: [at the computer]
Iris: [sharpening knives]
T.y: ATTENTION SIMPLETONS! Bei has JUST left the building!
Iris: ....
Flesh: ....
Rico: ....
T.y: and guess who’s been deputized as sheriff of this complex!
Rico: [hesitantly raises hand]
T.y: M E! 
Rico: [hand goes down]
T.y: now [presses play on bluetooth speaker] work bitches!
[Work Bitch by Britney Spears echoing throughout the apartment]
Flesh: uuuughhhh not agaaaaain–
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Iris: [putting on makeup]
Flesh: [watching]
Flesh: Why do you use so many brushes for makeup?
Iris: Was Mona Lisa painted with one brush? 
Iris: NO!
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Bei: [walks into the kitchen]
Apartment complex 404 Fam: [eating breakfast]
Bei: just a reminder; it’s Throat Punch Thursday
Bei: [leaves]
T.y: [checks imaginary watch] damn, that time again already ?
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Quinncie: I made a fool of myself today and I will make a fool of myself tomorrow. Good night!
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Eva: the only two important Michaels; Jordan and Jackson.
Peach: [while pulling out Michael Myers mask] wooooow aight bet–
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T.y: they kicked me outta church bc i yelled “fuck the devil!” I thought we all hated that motherfucker!?
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Peak Lilly: You know, one day you could be a great dad!
Chii: I already am.
Peak Lilly: flesh doesn't count.
Chii: HE IS MY CHILD!
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Chii: so, what did I miss?
Dax: flesh died twice.
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Diel: my goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Bei: you can’t just say that every time you fail a mission.
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Iris: wow i need a drink.
Iris: [pours chocolate milk into a shot glass]
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Flesh: I think your calculations might have been off.
Diel: Well, they can't be off if I didn't do any.
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Iris: [to Elliott] You... you... you rude person!
Dax: Go easy on him, iris.
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T.y: [comes downstairs to find bei up and about]
T.y: wow you sure are quite the night person..
Bei: buddy I’m barley even a person!
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Bei: No one expects an angel to set the world on fire. But than again I'm no angel.
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T.y: oh yea? Well apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
T.y: [Points at flesh] But this one got ran over by a fuckin lawn mower!
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Diel: I look like I'm supposed to be stalking senpai in this outfit.
Diel: Who's senpai? Hell if I know but I'm stalking him that's for sure.
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celestia-kin · 3 years
Text
okay. here’s the thing. twilight needs to be good at her job (marhsal) because cadence isnt.
i think i should put them into opposition as much as i can. in this world cadence and twilight, by their actions, are very much Not The Same. cadance is self-absorbed and confused and cannot take a decision and is bad at what she does (that is, keeping the usual and surnatural population of Canterlot safe from inside and outside threats). she’s terrified of who she is and does not know how to handle it safely.
on the opposite, twilight is good at her job. she does not have the advantage of being half-demon, but she makes up for it by being excellent at her job. this is already kind of the case in the original fic, but twilight’s really a side character there, where here she is more of a main one.
twilight needs to both remain “natural” and embrace the “supernatural” as a tool to discover and a world to explore, rather than, as cadance does, be terrified of it and unable to try and understand and use it. cadance sees the “fae realm” of sorts as something to be tamed, whereas id see twilight have a much more scientific and purposeful outlook on it.
if i were to write this, the first arc would probably about twilight... getting her support group. she’s described as lonesome in the fic, and i feel part of her emotional growth and exploration of the world needs to be seen through her encounters and the friendships she makes. the story begins as twilight is in yet another village, travelling with her son, and trying to get answers on the whereabouts of her possessed/disappeared brother.
id like to elaborate a bit on what i mean by “cadance is bad at her job”. on the second fic she’s on the tracks of a serial murderer that i believe was called the puppeteer, that specifically attacked supernatural citizens (batponies, sirens)... and burned down their homes and killed them. (also he is linked to Death, which i think is his paramour? its weird.) so cadance tracks down the guy, fights him pathetically, and then.... lets him fucking leave. doesnt even arrest the guy really. apparently he’s immortal since he has the favor of Death (like, the horseman. the literal horseman in the horse story) so there’s no point in stopping him :) or some shit
so like there’d probably be a scene when cadance and twilight are both in canterlot and twilight mauls the guy to death. or anhilates an immortal idiot from the fae realm that believes it is fair game to come to the “material plane” to kill people that offended you in one way or another. and twilight just fucking destroys him. yes, indeed, “you cannot talk wrong to the very powerful people that live in this other world linked to hours because otherwise theyll believe it is alright to kill you” (which is btw not even something all the sn can do! it’s like, the powerful angry and self absorbed folk thatll do that!) is a massive pet peeve of mine. different world, different rules, and they’re enforced by the marshalls. yet both luna and cadance decide that... doing their job is not worth it?
generally speaking i do not have the same outlook on fae-like realms and the supernatural as the author has, and i feel it would show. i just dont buy into the stupid idea that fae get a free pass to wreck shit because theyre fae. arent they supposed to be like, super literal (*) and only have power over you if you break the rules of hospitality? then doesnt it also apply to them when they enter the home of someone else? like???
(*) btw since that looks like its just derived from how autistic people may be perceived to see the world im taking this. its mine. fuck you
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