#im genuinely shaken up after reading this i hope they get all the rest they need 😭 this is so scary.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rodeo-boots · 3 years

Note

Hi there! Im not sure if I've requested from you before have I?

So I was wondering if I could have a one-shot Sadie/F!ChubbyReader? Something sweet that gets steamy.

I was thinking that it could be the readers having a rough time because she thinks she's unworthy of love and the fact that she's into women makes it even harder.

Take your time, no need to rush~

Feel free to message me if you cant/won't do this I understand Xx

You hadn't requested from me before, btw. BUT I really loved writing this one for you! I hope it's what you've been looking for <3 (I also hope there are no more errors left, I only proofread this once)

Rating: Explicit

Words: 2679

Warnings: NSFW, Low Self-Esteem Reader (Body-Image issues)

AO3

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It was one of the rare occasions when camp was quiet, most gang-members fast asleep as darkness spread over Clemens Point.

You had missed the silence, already used to the rambunctious songs, to the laughter and chatter of the others. Even if those good times never were to last.

These days, it was hard to achieve happiness, to feel even remotely safe, your travels East having shaken the entire group to the core.

And sometimes, you wished you had stayed in the West, had bought land and settled down like you've planned, even if that might not have changed a thing.

When it was quiet, like now, your mind often wandered, drifted along with the sounds of rippling water.

It was nice here, better than it had been up at Colter, but you still felt out of place. And no amount of fresh air or crisp water could change that.

With a sigh, you leaned further against the log behind you, your arms crossed in front of your chest where you sat.

At least in the darkness, no one had to stare at you. Had to see you.

You could just be, with no obligations to be appealing to anyone at all.

Never before had Dutch sent you out to distract any targets, to use your good looks on unsuspecting fools like the other women at camp often did. Because you had none. Or so you told yourself.

Of course it was harsh, of course you had other things to offer. But with a couple pounds too many, with chub around your cheeks and your hips, you didn't feel as attractive as you wished you would be.

You envied Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly... if not for their appearance then for their confidence. And Sadie? Sometimes you wished you could walk a day in her shoes, that you could stop caring about what other people thought and put on some pants.

Though you feared you'd only get stared at more like that.

Time went by without you noticing. Maybe you've nodded off somewhere down the line, the sight of the water gleaming beneath the moonlight oddly tranquil and soothing to you.

Your thoughts continued to roam, continued to shift and flow like the water in front of you.

Occasionally, you'd see a fish jump out of the lake, would hear a nocturnal bird taking flight within the nearby trees. And you yearned to be free like them; free of judgment, of society's standards, and your own low self-esteem.

You wondered if they perceived beauty like humans did, if they stared down at the two-legged, wingless creatures, saw long and flowing hair idly whipping in the breeze, or a freckled face and bright eyes and fell in love.

It would be a loss if they didn't, if they were unable to see what you did – and you decided that maybe, being a human might not be all that bad.

Sure, all you could do was behold the beauty around you. You knew you would never get a chance of something more; knew you couldn't compliment the way Sadie's yellow blouse flattered her figure and receive more than a simple "thank you".

It had always been like that – you, finding beauty in another woman, finding beauty in her voice, the sparkle in her eyes and the way she strutted and sauntered along the way. You knew you couldn't change that, knew that you would never be 'normal', but hell, you didn't want to be. If there even was such a thing as normal.

In the past, and even up to the current day, you've struggled with it. With your sexuality.

You had come to terms with it, of course, but you knew that you only stood out more with your chosen way of life. If your body wasn't enough to keep people away, your orientation might just be, and it worried you, what the others might think should you ever come out to them.

It hadn't been your intention to grow upset, your brain doing it to yourself no matter what you tried to do about it.

So you sat and stared out onto the lake, gaze blank as you simply beheld the beauty all around. Watching, and doing nothing, as always.

The sound of boots upon sand drew you out of your thoughts, your head turning to see a familiar figure approaching.

She was tall, slim, her hair braided beneath her hat. A few strands hung loose, though that only held it's special charm.

"What're you doin' out here?" Sadie asked, sitting down on the fallen tree behind you. She kept a bit of a polite distance, crossing her legs as her elbows rested upon her propped up knee.

You swallowed softly, looked back ahead and out onto the wide lake. "Just thinking," you explained, unable to come up with anything else that might explain you being restless and awake at this time of day.

The other woman hummed, her own gaze trailing over the water in front of her.

It appeared black in the dark of night, only little light reflexes showing the movement of the soft waves.

"Did someone say somethin' again?"

Her sudden words brought you back to reality, the silence between you having stretched for a couple minutes before. It wasn't rare that the less pleasant people at camp upset you over your insecurities, pointed out facets of yourself that didn't need to be addressed.

You shook your head, anyhow. Today, that hadn't been the case. Besides, you never knew Sadie paid any attention to the treatment you received. "It's me," you mumbled after a moment of consideration. "Me who made me feel like crap."

And while you huffed at the words you spoke, they were genuine. Oftentimes, it was you who made your life harder than it had to be.

Sadie pushed herself off the log, plopped down into the slightly moist sand by your side. You watched her from the corners of your eyes, unsure what she was intending to do.

But she didn't do anything, merely sat with you and stared out into the water, thinking about what you had said before.

"I did that a lot," she eventually spoke up, turning to face you. "Guess it ain't the same, but I– sat and thought a lot, too. That never seemed to help." She chuckled, but the sound was rather mirthless, her tone more serious than anything.

You had seen her in the past, had seen her sitting outside of camp, far from anyone else. She's had a broken heart to nurse, had a terrible loss to get over, and in the end she had come out stronger than ever.

"You don't gotta tell me, if you don't want. Maybe it'd make you feel better, though."

Inhaling, you thought about her words, wondered if you would even be able to put your innermost thoughts and feelings into words.

Never before had someone asked you to share them, no one ever having as much of an interest in you as that.

"It's nothing," you tried to deflect, tried to invalidate your troubles in order to not burden Sadie with them here and now.

The woman snorted, however, raised a brow as she looked at you. "Don't look like nothin' to me," she pointed out, not impolitely.

"How about this–" she sat up, her back against the log as she gestured for you to come closer, to lean back against her chest.

For a moment you could only stare in disbelief, though you took the chance now that it was offered to you. It had been a while since you've last been physically close to anyone, after all.

"Comfortable?" Sadie asked. You gave her a nod, your heart racing in your chest and beating within your ears.

Holy Shit. That hadn't been how you'd imagined this night would go.

Sadie wrapped her arms around you loosely, rested her chin atop your head. She seemed content herself, seemed like she had wanted to do that for a long while. The thought made your heart skip a beat.

"I know you think you're worse than you are," Sadie spoke up again, keeping her voice low while speaking to you. It was oddly soothing, her usual rough tone sounding more than just pleasant to your ears. "But you ain't bad. Truth be told, I admire you."

That made you pause, your breath catching in the back of your throat. "Me? For what?"

She chuckled kindly, brushing through your hair to tuck a few strands behind your ear. "For knowin' who you are, and what you want. For stayin' true to yourself no matter what anyone says."

Yet again, you hadn't expected her to be all that perceptive, hadn't expected her to know much about you at all. For as long as you've known her, your conversations had been brief, cut short by your occasional shyness and nervosity. Sadie seemed to have read you better than you ever could've thought.

"I..." you weren't sure what to say, or if you should say anything at all. The woman's arms around you were soothing, almost soporific, though the warmth pooling within you made it hard to consider dozing off.

"I always wanted t'know more about you," Sadie continued, nuzzling the top of your head, her lips brushing over your strands of hair. "Wanted to know more 'bout the beautiful woman who's stolen my heart."

You were sure this had to be a dream, that you had passed out after all and your mind was playing tricks on you by now.

But Sadie felt as real as could be, her hot breath in the nape of your neck, her arms around your waist, thighs left and right of your hips. Whatever you had thought of before, all your insecurities and doubts, it all seemed far away by now.

"Me– Me, too," you brought out, confessing to your feelings without directly doing so. Sadie was more bold and confident than you were, was more brave and straight-forward in your eyes. And just like she had said before, you admired her just as well. But most importantly, you were sure you loved her.

Feeling enlivened by her words, empowered by the warmth swelling within your heart, you turned around, straddled her lap and properly looked her in the face. "I think I love you," you properly confessed, cupping her freckled cheeks like you've wished to do for so long already.

She smiled up at you, keeping her hands on your waist for now as she leaned in, and captured your lips with her own.

The kiss didn't last as long as you've wanted it to, but upon pulling away, Sadie spoke up again; "I know I love you." Her smile grew, your forehead resting on hers when you returned the gesture.

Once your lips had met the first time, you couldn't stop yourself from going in for a second kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut, fingertips gliding along Sadie's sides and down to the hem of her shirt. Now that you knew of her feelings towards you, and were fully certain as those within yourself, you only wanted more.

She reacted in kind, teased your tongue with hers when her lips parted ever so slightly, a moan slipping into the kiss. You weren't sure if it had come from you or her, but that didn't matter much, not when your hands soon met bare skin, fingers gripping her sides while her own ran along your thighs.

"You wanna do this right here?" She asked, leaning back a little to capture your stare.

Slightly out of breath, you nodded. Hell, you didn't care where you'd do this, as long as you could feel her skin on yours.

Without missing a beat, Sadie worked on helping you out of your dress, glancing back, only to make sure camp was as quiet as it had been before.

Even if a few drunkards were still milling about, you couldn't care less, your fingers working on her buttons to relieve her off her top layer, before climbing off her lap to get her pants off her hips.

Naked, you laid back in the sand, invited her to follow you only for her lips to meet yours again. She placed her hat on top of your head, gave you a small smirk as her lips wandered lower, over your collarbone and down to your chest.

Moving boldly, her mouth latched onto one nipple right away, one hand kneading the other breast while she suckled and licked your sensitive bud.

Your breath hitched, spine curving to get closer to her heavenly mouth, your head already swimming without her having done too much just yet.

Soon enough, she had stimulated your other nipple to full hardness as well, laying down on her side next to you, and pulling you in for another kiss. "Let's keep this quiet," she muttered, her fingeres wandering once again until they reached your sex, a hum leaving her lips when she discovered the hot wetness there.

She caressed your folds, encouraged you to hitch one leg up and around her hip while coating her fingers within your slick. Slowly, her fingers circled your clit, made your hips jerk sporadically and your muscles tense here and there.

"Can I?" You had only pulled away from the kiss for a second, glancing at her while your fingers slid down her flat stomach.

"Be my guest," she grumbled, trailing lovebites along your collarbone and up to your shoulder, the small motions of her fingers on your clit steadily driving you insane.

To offer her the same kind of pleasure, your hand soon found the spot between her legs, met with an equal wetness as that between your own. You groaned, teasingly gliding your fingers through her folds before your thumb focused solely on her nub.

She gasped, almost sounding surprised, like she hadn't been touched there in a while, though that only spurred you on more. You wanted her to feel as good as possible, pulling away after another few moments only to propose another idea.

"I wanna taste you," you muttered, fingers disappearing from her soaked cunt as you laid back. Seemingly catching on right away, Sadie climbed on top, straddling your face while hers was right in front of your own crotch.

With the new position, you dove in without a moment's hesitation, held onto her hips and pulled her close as your tongue licked through her folds and up to her nub.

She moaned out, had to have bitten down on her lip to keep more sounds from surfacing before she leaned down herself, and focused on your clit right away.

Besides the sounds of your actions, the occasional slurping, squelching and your labored breaths, it was still mostly quiet, the area belonging solely to you in this moment.

You rolled your hips upwards, chased more of the heavenly feeling of her mouth on you as you felt yourself getting close.

Clearly, Sadie wasn't all that far, either, her abdominal muscles flexing while her thighs tried to squeeze your head, the motions of her tongue growing more desperate the closer she got to her climax.

It was over much too quickly, had been too long for you to hold back at all, your body tensing for a moment before releasing in a rush of endorphins that was better than anything you've had before.

You pulled back for air, slipped two fingers into Sadie's tight cunt to grant her a satisfying release as well, and watched, when she shook and trembled through her very own orgasm.

She rolled off of you after a moment, cursing under her breath as she did so.

It wasn't long before she crawled back up to you, however, before her lips met yours and you could taste yourselves upon each other's tongue.

"You fancy a midnight swim?" She asked when she pulled away, sitting back on her knees and helping you up when you agreed.

#Sadie Adler #Sadie Adler x female Reader #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 fanfiction #nsft #my writing #rdr2 requests #tw body negativity #anarchist-lolita

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cloudynames · 5 years

Text

Tangerines

hello everyone!! im so excited for this story im releasing hehe~ i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. happy new years as well!! i hope 2019 brings you all good health and fortune

Word Count: 3,965

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Suicide, mental health issues

lets get it

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“T-Taeyong! I’m sorry to bother you but I couldn’t help it seeing you here! I’ve loved you for a long time even before we were friends. I would be honored if you accepted my confession…”

Taeyong nervously rubbed the nape of his neck and shook his head side to side, giving a pitiful smile to the girl in front of him, “Sorry, I’m not interested in relationships...”

That was an awkward trip to the grocery store.

When Taeyong arrived home that night, he cracked open a can of beer, almost downing the whole drink in one go. It was the same thing as the day before. Taeyong probably even couldn’t count how many times he’s been confessed to this month. Quite honestly, he was tired of it.

He always lived a lonely life, having only a few friends. Taeyong couldn’t even imagine the burden of having a relationship. Commitment and someone depending on him? He would never be cut out for it. It’s fine though.

The voice in his head tells him he doesn’t need anyone.

He snaps out of his daydream of him reflecting on his incredibly boring life and stares at the clock hanging in his living room. Eyes widening, he rushes to his work table and begins to work on his newest project. This customer wanted her piece done in three days. Although it was quite small, he wanted to perfect it. Just like how everything should be, perfect.

Taeyong found his love for sculpture while he was taking the class as an elective in college. His teacher captivated him with her expressive phrases and terms as she described how it wasn’t as simple as molding a few blocks together. She explained that with a single tap of a hammer or pushing down one's finger to hard, a whole project can go to waste. He loved the risk of failure, the complexity, and especially the feeling of perfection in one of his artworks.

Halfway through his semester, he changed his major to sculpture from financing. His parents were more than supportive when they realized how passionate their son was about his newfound passion. Taeyong made sure he paid them back with the first few paychecks he received from his pieces. Soon enough, he became very popular for his works and people were begging for him to take commissions from the famous Taeyong of Seoul.

He leaned back in chair and placed the clay robin in the mini tabletop oven. Setting it on the lowest setting, he contacted the buyer, telling her that the piece was done and she could pick it up the next day.

In the hot, early morning, a rapid tapping comes from Taeyong’s front door. Still buttoning his clean, baby blue shirt, he opens the door and gives a kind smile to the woman.

She moves over to the display table Taeyong had displayed previously and she examines the sculpture. Not receiving a response immediately, Taeyong grew nervous. Does she hate it?

Suddenly, she glances up and grins. “It’s perfect for our anniversary. Thank you.”

Soon she was on her way and Taeyong had an envelope filled with his pay. It was quite a lot for such a small project, so much that he could live a few days just on that one check. He was feeling bored nearing the afternoon of that day so he strolled over to his computer and waited for it to stir and flicker with life.

His eyes scroll over numerous emails and requests, typing out responses to those he can’t take. Either he didn’t liked the idea or feel motivated but it was most latter. One email stood out in particular and he cocks his eyebrow in surprise. Had he already found something that had interested him with only a few minutes of searching?

Two things jumped out at him: the email was sent by Seo Johnny, CEO of a technology company, and that it was very, very open ended.

The requirements were simply as followed: ‘I desire a sculpture of a beautiful lover. However, I want it to be in the beautiful in the eye of the artist. Please have it done by the end of next month. Thank you.’

Taeyong swiftly typed out a response and he wearily sighed. What did a beautiful lover look to him?

Never being in love before, his head searched for answers but ultimately ended up frustrated. He doesn’t know what beauty looks like! As he thought more and more about his most recent project, the answer became clear.

He found sculpture beautiful.

Drawing up a quick diagram of what the sculpture would look like, he stopped once he needed to draw the face. Pursing his lips, he drew two dots for eyes and a line for the mouth. He would worry about that later.

Grabbing some wire, he started to shape the body of his sculpture. He knew this project would take more time than the rest of his pieces since it would come directly from his heart.

Watching the inner cask dry, he rolled over to his computer and very pathetically typed in, ‘beautiful people.’

Faces of men and women appeared of all different races. Bored, he scrolled in that google search bar for what seemed like forever. Nothing interested him and he supposes nothing will ever. Taeyong didn’t want to live life alone for he would be an outcast in society. However, he didn’t want to marry whoever had a decent enough face.

In the back of his mind, something screams at him that it’s better to be alone.

Taeyong agrees.

The next day, Taeyong stares at his creation, wondering how to fulfill the wishes of the customer. He sighs and grabs a handful of clay, almost slapping it harshly onto the cask. Covering the cask to create bumpy shapes, he bites his lip in contemplation.

He hates going for it without a definite plan, but he’s going for it.

After five harsh hours of cutting, shaping, and smoothing, he had formed the base of the body. Taeyong begin to detail the head, forming hair from his wire end tool. He tried to imagine the sculpture in motion, someone joyful and engaging.

Someone incredibly different to him.

His nimble fingers worked tirelessly as they became numb to the pain of being in such awkward positions. Shaking the cramps out from his hand, he formed lines for a mouth and nose. He continued to work that night.

And the next.

Soon enough, he had finished the curves and perfections within his project and his taste had been satisfied. Taeyong genuinely thought what he created was beautiful, more graceful than any woman or man could be. His fingers grazed the surface of the clay shoulder and he shuddered at the warm feeling that flowed from his head to his toes. Taking a thumb, he brushed over the plump, luscious lips. It was simply perfection.

A small crack destroyed that image of quality just after he removed his thumb and saw a small crack had surfaced. Gasping loudly, he worked hurriedly to fill the crack before any more damage had been done.

Maybe perfection wasn’t achievable. He was a fool for thinking so.

With the notion of a deep, lulling sadness in his chest, he fell on his bed. The voices in his head tell at him that nothing would be perfect ever and that he should accept that his life was lonely. For the first time in the entire twenty-three years of misery, he longed for someone to touch.

The sense of loneliness did not leave the next morning but amplified. Rolling over and reaching out for something to grab but ending up with nothing tore him apart.

Grumbling, he rose from his bed and patted over to his statue. A shriek left his throat as he hyper-analyzed the small cracks scattered upon the figure. He tapped them lightly, lighter than a feather hitting the ground, and almost fainted when the cracks began to grow bigger. With blurry eyes, he shakily grasped onto a scraper and embarked on his journey to repair his model. His calloused fingers treated the imperfections with the filling clay to cover his mistakes. Taeyong was on the brink of a mental breakdown with silent tears streaming down his face, watching his most wonderful work slowly come apart.

His chest heaved heavily with pain and anxiety even after he had fixed everything. He suspected something was wrong with his mixture and he threw out every ingredient he owned that went into making the concoction. Shopping would be joyful the next day.

He went to go make himself a small breakfast after the traumatic experience. Coming back with a plate of toast and a tangerine, he nearly dropped his food when he saw the hand of his statue slowly stretch and move its hand. Taeyong blinked once, twice—even three times as he tried to comprehend what was happening. The plate was left on the table and he was tucked right back into bed. This entire situation was happening because he was tired, right? There was no way that a statue can come alive and wiggle its fingers like a toddler.

Taeyong nearly forgot the incident as he stretched and looked over at his clock which read, ‘1:27.’

Slowly and carefully, he approached his workspace, not looking in front of him. Opening his eyes, he fell onto the ground harshly and scooted back to the nearest wall in distress.

In front of him was a gorgeous and very human person, blinking and showing off their body to the whole world.

“Oh my god!” Taeyong screamed while the beautiful person in front of him blinked, confusion spreading upon their face.

Taeyong could barely think but he connected his thoughts together to make some sort of plan. He grabbed an old shirt and sweatpants, blushing profusely as he handed them to the person in front of them. They stared at it and before Taeyong could leave, they latched onto his arm. He had never shaken so much as he clothed them, sliding the baggy shirt over their head.

He wondered how he was a known artist but most recently became a babysitter for someone definitely not a child. Watching them as they played with their soup, he sighed.

What had he gotten himself into? More importantly, how did his carving become a human when yesterday you were a pile of clay?

Taeyong would find out throughout the night that they couldn’t form coherent sentences so he gave them a crash course on language. To be fair, you didn’t have comprehension of anything. He was just glad you were a quick learner. Supernatural could explain your abilities. You grasped onto concepts better than a baby even though you had never been exposed to such things. Peeping at the clock while the two of you were studying, he decided to call it for the night. He had shoved you into his room that night and you sat there pouting with big eyes.

Taeyong closed the door quietly and laid on his uncomfortable couch. At least he had some time before the statue was due or he would’ve been screwed. Not noticing when he drifted off to sleep, he was startled when he heard the creaking of his familiar bedroom door. He shut his eyes tightly until he heard the light breath of another’s presence.

Carefully, he peeked open his eyes and saw you kneeling on the ground, staring at him with a deep look.

“Y-Yes?”

“I want Taeyong.”

His face was definitely on fire by now.

“What do you want me to do?”

A pout was still graced on your lips, “Sleep.”

He let you grab his large hand in your small one, dragging you to the bed. You laid down stiffly, looking at the ceiling. He chuckled and snaked his arm under you, forcing you to curl into his side. Taeyong didn’t know he could be so suave.

“Better?”

“Better.”

The little quirks that Taeyong discovered made him slowly forget the fact that you were clay and that you were more human than a masterpiece. Yes, you might have incredibly hard skin and for that reason Taeyong was extra careful to not possibly cause a crack. It was your personality and emotions that caused you to be a completely different essence.

He noticed how you would pout whenever he left him for too long but that smile instantly returns once he comes back. You loved the taste of tangerines but you hated peeling them. Sometimes you would blow at your hair to get it out of your eyes and every single time Taeyong saw this, his heart leapt a little.

Taeyong was slowly falling for you. He wasn’t stupid though. Conversations between himself and his head made sure that he knew he was to be shunned from society if anyone knew his dirty secret for he was cruelly in love with a creation of his perfection. No matter how loud the voices got, he ignored them and continued to fall for you. Never did he want his feelings to slip towards you, especially since he knows you’ve been watching dramas.

He observed you play with your dinner, something you haven’t done since the first night you transformed.

“What’s wrong?” He softly asked, putting down his chopsticks. You bit your lip, opening your mouth then closing tightly.

“Why does everyone have a name? Do I have a name?” You quietly questioned and Taeyong could hear the quick scrapes against the floor while you kicked nervously. He made sure to add that onto his list of ever growing affections.

“Well... No. You don’t have a name.” Taeyong chose his words carefully and the voices in his head keep screaming ‘danger’ at him for making such a silly mistake.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you breathed out, “I want a name.”

Taeyong rushed to your side and wiped away the tears, staining your ceramic face. He coos and brings your head to his chest, fingers finding their way through your hair.

“Don’t cry, we can still give you a name.” He smiles, gazing down at you. Sniffling, you gawk at him, eyes twinkling with happiness.

“R-Really?”

He chuckled, rubbing your backside. “Of course. I think {y/n} would be a perfect fit, do you?”

A wide grin spreads on your face and you hug Taeyong tighter than ever before. “I love it!”

Taeyong wishes he could be the one you love.

His daily routine had been morphed and suddenly you were included in everything. He taught you how to do simple clay models, helping when you couldn’t mold it correctly to your liking. You learned little things Taeyong loved as well like how he needed to have a cup of green tea with every meal. You definitely felt something in your chest whenever he smiled and excusing yourself, you head to the bathroom to soothe your aching chest. Nothing could explain the feeling except what those dramas told you which was love.

It made you feel hot and sweaty yet high all at the same time. The feeling made you want to grab onto Taeyong’s hand and hold it longer than usual or to feel his kisses planted everywhere on your body. You wanted a declaration of love. The girls on the television would have their cheeks painted pink as the boy shouted his feelings towards them, infuriating you because that’s all you could ever desire with Taeyong.

Taeyong knew he couldn’t hide his unproclaimed love for you. He knew it was wrong, but it felt so sinful and right to innocently hold you. The aspiration of wanting more sat in his stomach ever since he started to fall for you and he wasn’t planning on pushing you away anytime soon.

Later on an unknown date while working on a small piece, he heard the oh-so familiar patting of feet moving towards him. He grinned to himself, wiping his hands with a hand towel before turning around and seeing your surprisingly energetic face.

“I can’t sleep.”

Taeyong snickered and knocked on the seat next to him. “How come I knew you were going to say that?”

You giggled and took a seat next to him, analyzing his newest piece. “What is it?”

“Ah, this is a turtle.” Taeyong remarks, pushing two tiny dots on the surface to make beady eyes.

You hum in response and tap your fingers on the table. You open your mouth, “Can I help?”

Taeyong nods and rises from his seat, letting you take his. Nervously, you waited for further instruction.

“Let’s mold the legs. Turtles have four so we’ll need to make four that seem similar enough to each other.”

He showed you how to make the first one, trying to use words you’ve come across and not including difficult technical words.

Your hands weren’t used to shaping the clay so naturally you became more frustrated as yours didn’t look similar to Taeyong’s. You tried making the base wider like his but it seemed like the clay disappeared in your hands.

“Let me help you.”

His hands covered yours instantly and you could feel every vein in your body pounding. He was so close to the point where you could smell his cologne and feel his wet breaths coating the back of your neck. Goosebumps covered your entire body since nothing like this has ever happened before.

You didn’t even noticed when he finished helping you create the leg until he patted you on the shoulder. Gaping up at him, you feel your eyes being absorbed into his. The way his hair was messy from hands running through it and a tiny scar near his right eye captivated you. He was truly perfection. If there was a god in this world, he spent all his time working on Taeyong, his greatest masterpiece.

Taeyong blushed as he looked into your eyes. They were sparkling with adoration. He has seen this scene countless of times with numerous men and women who confessed to him. However, a new question arises. Would he accept you?

He was the one who came crashing down on your face. Taking your smooth face into his hands and tilting your chin up, he kissed you. It was so soft and delicate that one would’ve not even noticed they were getting kissed. You tasted like the tangerines you had for a snack and him like his daily cup of coffee. The surface of his lips were hard and chapped from the continuous biting while yours were as smooth as hardened clay (which you were). Desperately, your lips wanted more. Yet as quickly as Taeyong let you in, he backed out, giving you a shy smile.

“Sorry, you looked too cute not to kiss.”

His days were now complete as he found himself adapting to be your lover. He kissed you, hugged you, and made you feel like the most expensive frame in any museum. The budding seed of a romantic relationship had formed and Taeyong couldn’t help but water it.

Deep, evil voices in his head told him it wouldn’t last for long.

Oh, how they were right.

Giggling, Taeyong placed you on the kitchen counter, lips attacking every inch of your neck.

“Baby… You’re so cute.” He murmured, nibbling on your tough ear and immediately receiving a toothache from it. Taeyong ignores the pain and presses himself closer to you, forehead against yours.

“Can we watch a movie today?” You request, hands brushing his cheekbones.

Taeyong nods and straightens. “I’ll go pick out a movie.” He turns, already moving to grab a DVD from his collection.

“Can I join?”

Your hand had already latched out to grab his and you weren’t ready for his sudden, sharp movements. Slipping, you crash into the ground.

A shatter fills the room and Taeyong twists around, horrified. Once was his lover was now a mess of clay and dust, coating every inch of the floorboards.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Taeyong wails, falling to the ground urgently and pulls every piece he could grab together. Cuts broke his skin and his blood mixed with the remains of once a magnificent masterpiece. The voices become mocking as they laugh at his anguish. His head, dizzy with desperation, falls against the ground. A howl forms within his throat and he pushes it back down. He makes fists with his hand, digging into the cuts and he punches his thighs.

“Don’t worry baby, don’t worry. I can fix this! Yeah, I can!” Taeyong scrambles to his workstation and grabs whatever supplies he can find. He molds uneven shapes, hands stuttering with every move. His mind is filled with worry and pain, not being able to remember which steps he took to design you, his love and the only love he’ll ever want. After not being able to recreate your eye shape, he moans and throws the wad of clay, splattering it all over the cabinets. He rocks himself back and forth on the cold ground, banging on the floor repeatedly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do it.” He bawls, wiping at his face.

The one person he ever loved was gone, all because of a mistake. Broken was the only word that could describe how his emotions were. The whispering became louder and soon it was the only thing he could listen to. Nothing mattered anymore. He was bound to be lonely forever. What was the point? To continue to live life lonely and to spend the rest of his days thinking about the one who got away?

Grabbing a bottle of pills, he empties the contents down his throat. For a minute, nothing happened. He was simply just waiting for his suffering to come. It hit him as a shortness of breath and his head being foggy. He couldn’t remember what he was doing or what was happening. Laying his head on the floor and his body following, he stared at the ceiling. An abdominal pain struck him at the side, crunching his body. He closes his eyes and hoped this nightmare would end.

And so it did.

———————-

Taeil looked at the police report again, hands brushing through his hair as he stretched out his back. His eyes widened at the name, recognizing it instantly. The victim’s name was Lee Taeyong, the man who created something for his sister-in-law for her wedding gift.

His eyes scanned through the paper until he reached what he wanted to know. Had he been suffering with mental health this entire time?

‘Cause of death: Suicide

Found by: CEO of Seo Enterprises, Seo Johnny. He had requested to see how far his commission had come along when he found Lee Taeyong on the floor with no pulse and broken clay surrounding his body. This was about two days after this death.

Mental state: Lee Taeyong has been struggling with mental health all throughout his life. His parents have notified the police that he did, in fact, have severe depression. His mother was worried as well that he might have inherited psychosis from his father’s side as it was genetic. This would explain the background check with his parents when they told investigative forces about how he would hear people in his head. Friends of Lee Taeyong could also testify of him hearing these voices’

Taeil looked out the rainy window and closed the case file. How cruel the world was that it would take away such a young, inspiring person.

He checked the time and saw it was time for his snack. Pulling out a bag, he grabbed a tangerine and continued to work on case files, writing up reports.

Biting into a slice, he groaned, “Aw, this one is bitter!”

#NCT #nct scenarios #nct imagine #nct headcanon #nct 127 #nct u #nct lee taeyong #lee taeyong #nct 2019 #writing #kpop #kpop imagine #kpop scenarios #kpop headcanons #taeyong

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survivorinternational · 5 years

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Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

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Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

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Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

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so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

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Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe.

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that

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Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do

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