#im just looking for attention lol sorry

[indulgnc]

im 20 👍

#woo #not snz #sorry im gonna complain now lol #i know it doesnt matter much but whatever #been having a really shit week like really shit #and im being a baby bc i thouht my online friends would remember my bday but i dont think they did lol #but thats not huge im just realizing i have problems surrounding my birthday bc of past stuff lol #like. really realizing huh guess stuff in the past did affect me (foghorn sound booo) #im just looking for attention lol sorry #and im not a ‘’big account’’ so i know it wont matter that much #i dont wanna sound like a downer but thats just how stuff works in the interner #idk if someone reads this then thatd be nice #BOOO get this guy off the stage so depressing boooooo #sorry. i hate talking like this but when i say bad week i mean bad lmfao

[cherubytes]

does the guy complaining about the amount of gay ultrakill fanart they see know they're on the gay fanart website???? "i cant scroll through the tag without seeing 30 fanarts of gabriel in a skirt" my brother in christ that man isnt wearing pants

#ramblings #ultrakill #sorry i usually dont pay attention to this kind of thing but that last complaint was really funny to me #“nothing in this game is meant to be sexualized'' in the game that has buttplug support?????? #like ok. i get not wanting to see anything nsf/w but that can be remedied by like. blocking the suggestive or nsft tags #as an asexual i do get the frustration of not being interested in the nsf/w side of fandoms. idk how it is on reddit or twitter #but i imagine that its a bit more difficult to avoid without a tagging system. i honestly have no clue since i rarely go on those sites #but the way this guy went about it is so weird lol #what happened to curating your own online experience or whatever. ive got fandoms i like where im not interested in what #most people like to post about. so i just go look elsewhere #cutting this short bc this is already way too long

[welcometoteyvat]

pet peeves: drawing people yellow

#advanced sorry as a non artist who doesnt really understand all that lighting shit #but even with weird lighting: #you can make their skin tone different from the pale shown in canon without it being like lemon colored T_T_T_T_T_T #similarly it's so possible to draw darker skin tones without making them gray or all have the same undertone #also i swear if it's for the palette/color theory you can also make palettes and color well without making it... yellow #ramblings! #this has happened in both my fandoms (honestly more frequently than i like but whatever) #& it just annoys me sm lmfaoooofnjksdhgkj #partially blaming one very popular drawing tutorial abt how to draw easian (the tutorial said asian but its rlly just easian......) faces & #im sorry the faces look like lemons #it just................... annoys me #mfw get u a face that looks like 🟡 #this has been in the queue for a really long time bc im . v on the fence abt posting like #i feel like half the time it's not on purpose but it also drives me up the wall also i feel like if people simply paid more attention it #wouldn't happen! well. anyways #whatever this is one of those insane rants that i just need to get out #this is what happens when i occasionally search tags it's just. (sees art) (sideeyes you) (moves on) . whatever lol #not genshin #to be clear this is abt easian coded/easian characters like if a char specifically is described as 'sallow skin' or smth #then it's whatever but it just makes me slightly go 'hmm' if nothing about the character indicates unhealthy skin coloration but u go: 🟡

[stinkbeck]

oh my god. my dad has that al pacino look 2 him. that’s literally why my mom loved him. oh my godddd

#if only my dad knew! lol he thinks he’s so ugly but he seriously isn’t #:/ i wish life was easier lol #like how the hell do u compliment ur father’s looks? u can’t say ‘oh come on you’re BEAUTIFUL’ #but saying ‘you’re very handsome’ feels strange. like how can a daughter tell her dad he isn’t ugly? #:/ man im just bad at this #lol #IM A LESBIAN I DONT PAY ATTENTION TO DUDES IM SORRY #HOW DO U COMPLIMENT THEM I DONT KNOW #EVERYTHING’S VERY TOUCHY! #‘DAD I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOOK LIKE AL PACINO!’ #ILL JUST SAY THAT

[technicolorxsn]

jelly my friend jelly

#hes so silly! #scares the shit out of me if im not paying attention in the apartments but hes so silly!!!! #sorry ive been browsing the .flow wikidot bc i have. brainworms #also looking through this. damn. lolrust had to have been inspired by drhdr to some extent right?????? #the tattoos and the fact the town area is called hole (not to be confused with the actual town where the alleyway chase happens) #fun fact abt the alleyway chase #that was actually how my ex got the iron pipe effect rather than the normal way lol #anyway back on topic #theres only a handful of similarities but like.. idk lol #plus drhdr just feels very up lolrusts alley so im sure they liked it

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

blood color testing pt 2: i was trying to visualize something and made these

#my art lol #blood tw #fukase vocaloid #yeah im just gonna. leave it at that this was just testing so. yuh #so he doesnt look thattttt bad w/ red blood ig but it just doesnt stand OUTTT its annoying to my color brain idk. #there isnt that much blood splattering here either so its probably not the best example but whatever #i usually always need to adjust his colors the most when i draw him anyways just b/c like... yeah. sorry bestie that bright red isnt it #(SOMETIMES. like dont get me wrong i love the high contrast but for certain things it just does not look good so i gotta mess around) #i probably shoulda fixed something w/ the green blood maybe made it lighter actually cause idk if it looks all that good here... alien vibe #usually i do blue and pink the most often; blue my personal fave cause it looks cool and pink b/c its closer to red/normal blood. but ya #man i really need to LEARN HOW TO DRAW HIM CONSISTENTLY smthn always changes every time i draw this mfer 😭😭😭 #theoretically he shouldnt be that fucking hard to draw but AUGHHHH. just in general i need to pay better attention to everyone's designs wt

[top10statuesthatcriedblood]

TALENTED??????

#sorry for ronald jumpscare but LOL? #not even CLOSE to being the MOST controversial either 😭 plenty of artists are assholes he just craves attention #NAME ONE FIR SONG THAT IMPACTED SOCIETY. EXACTLY. xjcmdsakjvdsjlkgmsdk #fun fact i was looking at bmth vids from tourdust on tt and i started getting this fucking guy recommended to me i FROWNED REAL HARD #can we even call fir metalcore. are you sure. even if he didnt suck the music is just Bad #im aware this is clickbait but it just made me laugh #skulltxt

[storge]

How could you be that heartless? Don’t you have a single ounce of compassion?

Yamashita Tomohisa as Himokura Tetsu | In Hand

#in hand #インハンド #jdramaedit #asiandramanet #jdrama #dailyasiandramas #jboysedit #yamashita tomohisa #subs: Blitzfansub #lextag #syaring #usermare #mymymy #ep 2 #he is so handsomeeeee #not everyone can pull off the mop head look but he does #and yes i consider this mop head LOL #and him not wanted to express emotion but then doing things that are emotion based #imma need everyone around him to start paying more attention #and im sorry but they should have told the little boii the TRUTH i hate when they just lie to children #yes it would be hard to hear but he neeed to know first BEFORE the tv told him

[catboyrightsdefender]

in9 really hit me right where it hurts

#i hate that it reminded me so much of léo like. i didnt see any of the red flags in the eps just like i didnt see any of his. the way chas #looked so in love and ready to help him with his probleme and the whole mick thing. and joe reassuring him and chas trusting him and being #so happy and in love. and then the twist and joe explaining how he never loved him and was like if u paid attention you would have noticed #and all the things about being a secret and no one knowing about chas. it hit so deep #he was sooo good at pretending. and so was leo fr. 6 months he had me at his feet always promising me stuff and then backing away. being #the sweetest no one had ever been to me only to tell me that he didnt have feelings for me. not telling about me to anyone in his life. #going on dates with others without me knowing. he played so well. i felt so loved and yet so anxious all the time. put everything on hold #for him. only to find out he never loved me and was using me to show his 9k followers on twitter that he was a trans ally just like he used #other mentally fragile trans guys before me. fucking sicko. im still not completely over this #so yeah the whole haha i never loved you and you didnt even notice thing do be hitting hard #.txt #anyway....sorry for the vent lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#somewhere halfway across the country my parents r at a Halloween party #and im laying here wracked with guilt bc im very tried and wasting time by not doing anything #bc its like: draw! but i cant draw until i finsih these things i have to write and i have to look up some stuff and do some research #so i cant draw bc i have things to do. but im too tired to do things. so i should just go to sleep at like 8pm lol #but my brain hates that idea bc no sleep. we cannot sleep. sleep is a waste of time #so ill just lay here too paralyzed to do anything. at least im kinda sore from yesterday so it actually feels nice to lay down #sigh... the exhausting ordeals of exostance #and im like if i were doing something like being at a Halloween party i wouldnt b so stress abt not doing something bc id b like making #memories and not just adding to the blur of days i dont remember bc theyre basically identical. tired. tired #this is truely my burnout phase. im all washed up at 25. nothings interesting enough to hold my attention #i just want to draw and draw and draw all day everyday. draw until my hand hurts. that's what i want to do #but i cant bc there r things that need to be done and i should just sleep so i can go to the store tomorrow #sigh. stupid irrational brain. stop it. #whatever. sorry im v chatty when i dont sleep. im just like fuck it everyone gets to hear my thoughts bc i dont care #blah. tomorrow. tomorrow i will do things. i say again like i do everyday #and everyday my attention avaids focus #but maybe. maybe. maybe #unrelated

[terriblelizbians]

[ID: the cover of a spotify playlist titled “Nona the Ninth” (all caps) with the subheading “playlist by Yael HL”. the image is cropped from the cover art of the book Nona the Ninth. /end ID]

okay with the new preview drop i remembered i had this. Listen to my silly little playlist before the rest of the book comes out and proves all my ideas even more wrong

#nona the ninth #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #tlt #don’t look at me maintagging i just love getting attention on playlists #im very happy with this one it’s much more thought out than my gideon and harrow ones #also a few of the instrumental/nonvocal tracks are from artists i know nothing about #bc i don’t know much in that area but i really wanted some of that vibe intercutting the. lyrical songs #so if any are those weird fake money laundering ones that spotify invents. oops! sorry #also now that im posting it i have to run back and check it again to make sure it’s really ready for The Internet lol #Spotify

[munamania]

is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there

#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything #idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months #it just sucks #even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away #but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk #post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth #work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it #and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk #so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again #but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me #but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough #but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and #i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt #tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost #cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging #at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh #anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt #but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret #but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified #but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah #hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her #film girl saga

[pagesofkenna]

I was talking on Twitter today about how gift-giving is not my love language and I feel like pointing out that I have formative childhood memories about gifts-giving situations leaving bad feelings. nothing traumatic or anything, but just... this isn't my love language for a reason

#i had a roommate in college who didn't 'believe in love languages' like it was an astrology type idea or something #anyway her love language was touch and she was really struggling being away from her family bc none of her friends were touch people #so me the tends towards touch aversion person made a deal to hug her at least once every night and it was SO good for her #anyway my love language is either acts of service or quality time #i see quality time described as like 'having your full and undivided attention' but like nah i just wanna parallel play with my friends #and i can do the other love languages because doing them despite not feeling natural is itself an act of service #just know if youve ever gotten a gift from me i've agonized over it way too unnecessarily #i was trying to explain this to my current roommate - im rambling now sorry #we were at a store together and i was like look at this thing i just saw - it reminds me of our mutual friend #now im thinking of her and i want her to see this but its a silly knickknack she wont have use of #and its 5 bucks and im trying not to spend money and if i buy it i have to carry it around all day #and to go through all that just to give it to her and she'll say 'thanks!' and not know what to do with it and itll get tossed in a closet? #so i dont buy it and she never knows i was thinking of her. its like this all the time lol

[saturniade]

.

#i do think that reigen is. just a white guy. or at most half japanese #im sorry ive been looking at the characters a lot #and their eyes! paying attention to who has double eyelids and who doesnt #teru is my mixed king obv. blonde whiteboy... whatever #the whatshisface ginger boy is juuuust american methinks.... i think i havent seen enough of him and thats fine 4 me also. #umm mob and ritsu and sarizawa are japanese hundred percent! #as well as mobs schoolmates! i havent thought about them much tho so food for thought #ppf i dunno i just saw somebody in the tag callout artists who draw reigen white n i was like.... that sleazy blond businessman you mean?.. #so for some reason i wanted to justify myself lol #and also share my headcanons! :] #i think maybe manga sheds more light on the heritage/race/culture/etc situations but im p content with the animes canon for now #yoo my post

[toastsnaffler]

I still can't believe they're charging THAT much for the shadow of the erdtree dlc... for like 2/3 of the base game price there fucking better be 100+ hours of content in there 🤨

#the dlc actually costs more than i paid for elden ring itself bc i originally got it for 40% off lol..... #just looking at it again bc every few days im like maybe i should preorder it... and then i see the price tag and 😐 #to be fair i wouldnt put it past them to have 100 extra hours of gameplay bc elden ring is a fucking insane length already #but i dont know if i would even want to play 100 extra hours thats so much girl i work full time u cant do this to me 😭 #ok im sure it wont be that long. but probably a good 30 hours i imagine based on how theyve priced dlc for other games #maybe 40 for me bc i like to explore things thoroughly.... #i dont think their pricing is usually that unfair tbh. like yeah 50 quid is wayy more than i would pay for most games but im prolly gonna- #end up with a solid 200 hours by the time ive done absolutely everything so it is worth all that. and its so incredibly gorgeous #ive had days playing it where ive almost felt like its real like the sheer level of detail.... damn!! #i like the sound of the sote levelling system tho + some of the bosses look cool..... but im NOT playing it for a few months at least #im gonna need a longass tolerance break once ive 100%ed the base game. gives them time to roll out bugfixes for sote anyway #and idc abt seeing spoilers n stuff bc i waited 2 years to play elden ring + completed it + now have 140 hours and frankly- #i still dont know shit about the plot. sorry thal wasnt paying attention she got too carried away by her bloodlust #god forbid women do anything...... #anyyywayyyy. im gonna play a little and then head off to bed. hope i can sleep better tn but we'll see w these meds innit #.diaries

[florida3exclamationpoints]

SCREAMING

#the sales associate guy is on break rn so its just me and the manager in the store #a lady was in the store and she came over to my cookie case #im supposed to be 1. yelling across the store to greet people when they come in and 2. asking if they want cookies when they're at the case #greeting people isn't going well but ive been doing pretty good with asking when they're close to me #(pretty good for me is still not good tho) #she was looking at the case. i was thinking oh ill ask her in a sec. ill let her look for a sec. #i could also tell that she was anxious too and didn't wanna be talked to. like i have a sense for that #MANAGER GUY. goes 'Elisabeth. 👀👈' #to tell me to talk to her #so i did and then its A MILLION TIMES WORSE BC I KNOW HES WATCHING ME. and now im THAT MUCH MORE ANXIOUS TO GREET PEOPLE TOO #i cant jump on customers as soon as i see them im sorry. i HATE when i go to stores like that how am i supposed to do it to other people #but UUGSJDGDHD he keeps REMINDING ME like i just dont care or im not listening or paying attention or WHATEVER #and it makes it so much worse. then it gets worse so its harder to say hey man youre triggering my anxiety. #so he keeps doing it. so it gets worse. but then its harder to- #i hid in the bathroom for a sec to write this lol im gonna catch my breath and go back out #IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!! #i have 2 hours left :( #she was a baker girl