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#im never gonna stop doing this alignment chart
thatwritingho · 5 years
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No I do not take constructive criticism
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atalana · 4 years
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I understand that your only source of representation is through Jughead, so how do you feel about people who ship him with other characters? Would you want them to stop?
i mean in an ideal world? absolutely yes
that said, i'm well aware i can't control much about the world outside of my own personal bubble, and people who ship jughead with other characters but stick to their own space aren't the biggest problem here? i'm not gonna go on a crusade to tear down any sectors of the archie and/or riverdale fandom with jughead ships, because honestly that sounds way too tiring and like, i'm sure i have things that i like to think and write about that other people would find infuriating, i don't wanna be a hypocrite and insist my way of doing fandom is the only way to do fandom
and the same goes for other fictional characters that are strongly implied to be aro/ace but 95% of the fandom has ships with them in, it gets on my nerves, but it isn't majorly harmful
the biggest problem, honestly, when it comes to jughead specifically, is riverdale, for bringing archie comics back into the public consciousness and pretending to be supportive of lgbt+ rights, and then at the same time erasing jughead's canon sexuality. like, this has been less of a problem in recent years bc from what i've seen the show has made a fool of itself in lots of other ways? but for people who do still watch it, just remember, no matter how many gay characters they include, they do not support this community. they include gay characters because it's become socially acceptable to include one or two and pretend like you're a paragon of representation. they're not. they're cowards who do not care about us
but when it comes to fandom, here's what is a problem when dealing with aro/ace representation, and things i'd like all fandoms to work on:
stop assuming that everyone needs sex or romance to be complete, stop assuming that any kind of positive relationship between two non-related characters must be romantic. like please. im so tired. people exist in this world who would be actively worse off in any romantic/sexual relationship, even a loving one, than they would be on their own. acknowledge these people exist, and maybe, just maybe, consider them in your sexuality headcanoning. (do you know how much it hurts to see someone make a sexuality headcanon page of a fandom with like 20+ characters and all of them are gay bi or pan? like representation for all of those are great as well, you should include them, but don't do so at the cost of excluding us. if your only reasoning behind headcanoning a character as bi is "they have Bi Vibes and I Want To", why is it so hard to make one or two of them ace or aro or both?)
people who have no interest in the opposite gender are both gay and aro/ace coded. it's something i've found constantly, whenever even a hint of aro/ace representation shows up, there's gonna be a very loud section of the fandom who insists they can't be aro/ace because they're gay coded, and making them aro/ace would deny representation. these people's only argument? they showed no interest in the opposite (binary) gender. guess what guys! that can be both! and insisting it's only gay is honestly aphobic as fuck and you will instantly lose my respect
same goes for characters who in canon show no interest in anyone at all. you'd think this would be a stronger argument for them being aro/ace than for them being gay, but not for these people! and like, this isn't me saying gay people can't relate to characters, of course do what makes you feel better, but i'm just asking for you to make space for us and acknowledge we're here. let the people with aro/ace headcanons feel just as acknowledged and validated as the people with gay headcanons, instead of shunned and like no one wants them around
(i still lose followers any time i make an aro/ace positive post. which honestly only makes me more incentivised to keep doing it. i'm here i'm queer and i'm not going anywhere, the hill i've chosen to die on is protecting younger aro/ace people and fighting for their rights and good luck knocking me down)
this does include the archie fandom, by the way. i'm assuming you sent this because you saw my post from 3-4 years ago about jughead being canonically aro/ace? well, there are plenty of people who angrily told me that jughead, a character explicitly said in the text to be aro/ace, was gay coded and i was being homophobic. like fucking stop it.
if you're genuinely interested in being a good ally to aro/ace people, and i really do appreciate that you've asked this!! here's a few things you (and the fandom at large) can do:
make space for aro/ace people in your headcanons, even if you're not aro/ace yourself. honestly, while this is a personal opinion, i don't even mind if your understanding of what being aro/ace is is slightly wrong? i mean if you wanna explore that in depth, doing research is better than not doing research (my ask box is always open), but i'm just happy to see anyone be inclusive, those people are the good people in my book
make space for aro/ace people in your jokes and memes. we like to have fun too! i'm still never really gonna get over the gay alignment chart meme, like... they had two separate squares for gay and lesbian, one for bi/pan, and none for aro or ace. that pretty much sums up everything wrong with representation at the moment. if you had to stick to three for the sake of the meme template, gay/lesbian, bi/pan, and aro/ace would have been much fairer. and yeah it's just a meme but like... we shouldn't only be on people's minds when things are serious
stop making all your aro/ace headcanons jokes. don't headcanon horrible real life people as aro/ace. be careful that your aro/ace headcanons aren't entirely children or robots. like, you can headcanon those characters as aro/ace, but if you're exclusively doing that, you're not really seeing us as people
(i have... complicated thoughts about spongebob apparently being canonically aro/ace. but i wouldn't hold that up as the pinnacle of representation)
(also despite many assholes' insistence to the contrary, being aro/ace isn't an 18+ identity. if a 12 year old can be gay a 12 year old can be aroace. they may not have discovered the sexual part yet but they can still know the romantic part. every sexuality goes through this same persecution why are even gay people still passing it down)
aro/ace people can be happy, well adjusted, non traumatised adults! many of us are! go make some headcanons of that!
while just aro or just ace people definitely do exist, and you can headcanon characters as such, some of us don't split those labels (i just use aroace for myself bc it's one thing, like how bisexual and biromantic people just go by bi). make sure you have some aro/ace people in the mix there, and you're not falling into the pitfall of using our identities only to make Gay Lite(TM)
don't let people walk all over us. we had a really thriving community back in 2013, and then the exclusionists came in and completely wiped it out. i saw it happen. they've faded into the background but only because 90% of aro/ace people are now scared to speak up on their own behalf. encourage aro/ace people to share their experiences if they want to, encourage aro/ace headcanons where you see them, make sure your fandom is a space where aro/ace people want to be. and if you see people being exclusionists (laughing at aro/ace people like they're cringy, pretending like aro/ace people are stealing non existent resources from gay people, or calling aro/ace people homophobic for existing are big weapons of the exclusionists), don't pretend it's just an argument or "discourse", let them know they don't belong. we can only fight so hard on our own behalf, we're a community for a reason. we're in this together
research, read, and most importantly, have fun with it. that's what fandom's for. if the only way you get enjoyment out of characters is by putting them in ships, try exploring a different, non romantic angle, and see what happens. encourage different forms of relationships. encourage aro/ace characters who are happy and secure in their own identity. encourage aro/ace characters having the same emotions as everyone else, just without the being attracted to people part. we're cool people! and ultimately, ship what you want. but just remember we're here, we're desperately in need of representation, and we can't make that happen on our own
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australian-desi · 3 years
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Qurbaan Hua ~ Episode 5-9: Of IVF Being Horrible, Windchimes, Cunning Aunties and Disgusting Husbands
Gonna dive right in
Episode 5
Mans has gone from “me and Meera have been dating for 6 months” to screaming “I LOVE YOU MEERA” at the top of the mountain 
Time for another coincidance - it’s purnima so he’s going to go ask for a mannat and on this day different people from different faiths go to this certain place for their wishes and prayers - and we all know what that means
Also now that I’ve watched a few episodes, I have to say I really like the styling  for Chahat they’ve given her a mix of ethnic and western wear and the fancy clothes she wears are really pretty (so far) and I hope it stays this way
I am a complete slut for mannat scenes and this one was very pure
Why can’t these people say Saraswati, it isn’t that hard
Also it’s 2020, surely it’s time we understand just because a woman is pregnant doesn’t mean she’s disabled and needs to be carried everywhere
Also, Naveli (Anjali2.0 and Neil’s cousin) is superrr suss
SHE TAPED HIS FACE OMG IM MORE IMPRESSED BY HER BY EVERY MINUTE
And she’s given him meds to give to the people he interacts with coz he causes them headaches (and he’s held onto it the whole time coz Pehle Pyaar Ka Pehla Tohfa) 
Awww our OTP has ‘Bhags stamp of approval’ 
They’ve also touched her feet how cute
Episode 6
So Ghazala has ruined Chahat’s mum’s sharara and like this is what I mean they’ve written her horribly, like why would someone go out of their way to hurt a kid like that - her mother’s dead what more does she want
And daddy dearest has another pooja to attend so he’s said no to attending his daughter’s baby shower, something Neil is now salty about
For a doctor, Chahat’s dad is quite daft 
And for a pandit, Neil’s dad is quite mean
Nice touch by Ghazala by turning this whole thing on Chahat, and thankfully her dad believes her
Episode 7
So this Kamini wannabe of a mami has said that Saraswati’s baby is najayaz, and at this point I really have got to ask - how the fuck did she jump to that conclusion?????
Apparently coz she was barren for 8 years, so how can she be pregnant now, so something must be up 
The logic fails me here, IF SHE WAS BARREN/WAS UNABLE TO GET PREGNANT, HOW TF IS THE CHILD ILLEGITIMATE???
OMFLLLLLL SHE’S SAYING THAT COZ THE CHILD WAS CONCEIVED FROM IVF, THAT’S WHY IT’S ILLEGITIMATE 
I CANNOT
I’M SO CLOSE TO QUITTING 
DO THESE DUMBASS PEOPLE NOT REALISE THAT AN IVF BABY IS ALSO A BLESSING IN ITSELF, IT’S NOT 100% GUARANTEED TO GET YOU PREGNANT EITHER BUT IT HELPS 
By this logic they shouldn’t use annnnyyyy modern technology 
I understand Neil now, and why he’s so done with this bullshit
YAAASSS NEIL, GO FUCK THEM UP 
Look Chahat, I love you and all, but like listen to Neil when it comes to his crazy psychotic family
Also do not tell me like the Oberoi family, this whole family cannot have 1 smooth sailing function/party 
We love a sibling duo that had to raise each other because their parents were dead/useless 
I’m so fucking done, now not only does your doctor have to be of the same religion, he/she has to be from the same caste 
YEH DOCTOR DHOOND RAHE HAI KE RISHTA 
Neil’s trying to talk some sense to these people, but as usual, he gets shut down for talking sense 
OMG HE’S COME OUT WITH FACCSSSS AND HAS GIVEN HIS DAD AN ULTIMATUM - His daughter or his dharm 
Also by saying that if he’s so for modern technologies in other areas, why is he against iVF 
Omg daddy pandit finally got some sense - this was an exhausting feat
Poor tacky Kamini, unlike the og, this one’s plans always fall short 
Neil, take Saraswati and just get the fuck out of here, this dumbass mami has come with a plan and is not going to rest until one of these kids gets disowned 
Episode 8
So Vyasji in a twisted turn of events has accepted Neil’s gf, as long as their kundlis meet 
Let’s be real their stars ain’t aligning in this life 
Chahat is talking to her mother through this windchime she made with her mother’s jhumke (I guess its a coping mechanisms) about how she’s gotten a cake ordered and needs to pick it up
The windchime has told her that she needs to learn how to cook to get married 
Basically even if your Indian mother is dead, her ghost will still taunt you on your inability to get married even when you are a doctor 
She has decided she will marry a chef so that she doesnt need to learn how to cook 
The foreshadowing, the cluelessness
Omg Neil’s dad writes with ink and a peacock feather (why did I think this man would write with a pen like a normal person)
He’s literally whipped out a chart and started making Neil’s (ex)gf’s kundli RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS DAUGHTER’S BABY SHOWER BECAUSE #priorities 
Anjali2.0 is literally sitting there praying as if Vyasji is sitting there calculating her Year 12 results and not a kundli
And we’ve got an “asambhav”, but we all knew that - Neil’s literally smirking coz he knew no matter what, the stars won’t align 
Omlll he’s inherited the whole “I write my own destiny” from Arnav 
“Main uss ladko ko kabhi nahi apnaunga” “Toh kya faraq padta hai, main usse apna chuka hoon” Boisss I really like this dude 
I wish I had this confidence but alas, I do not
And Neil has decided to leave the chat, go to Delhi and get married there, while giving everyone a fuck you (except his sister ofcourse)
Little does he know he isn’t even gonna make it to the bloody bus stand before he ends back here 
Anjali2.0 is begging her dad to stop him, but he’s talking about the stars and shit 
And right on cue Chahat and Neil are walking on the same bridge, none of them paying attention, they crash and just like that, the cake has fallen into the deep sea, adding to the pollution 
OMGG THIS MAN TOLD HER HOW ALL DADS ARE USELESS AND SHE GOES “oh hello, tumhe bohot saare childhood issues hai, lekin mere baba aise nahi hai ... woh mere liye taare bhi tod sakte hai” 
THIS IS WHY WE NEEDED A FEMALE LEAD IN THE MEDICAL FIELD - SHE UNDERSTOOD WITHIN 2-3 MEETINGS HOW FUCKED UP OUR DUDE IS 
and now he’s sarcastically congratulating her on her father because “aur ek mere baba hai jo hamesha taaron mein uljhe rehte hai, aur vaise tumhe tumhaare taare todne waale baba, bohot, bohot, bohot hi ziada mubarak” 
LOLLL SHE’S PULLING AND DRAGGING HIM TO GET HER THE SAME CAKE AND HE TRIED TO GIVE HER MONEY TO BUY A NEW ONE, AND SHE’S LIKE NOPE, THE BAKERY I GET THIS FROM IS CLOSED AND SO YOU WILL PROVIDE ME WITH A NEW CAKE 
Lolll I never knew he will be stuck here because of a cake 
AND NOW SHE’S TAKEN HIS BAG AS HOSTAGE AND HE’S LITERALLY SCREAMING THAT SHE’S LOST THE PLOT 
But personally, I feel she gained it 
Turns out the shop that she got the cake from, is his friend’s shop, and now he’s baking the cake himself because my man is also a pastry chef 
And he’s friend has left the chat because he doesnt want to get beaten up 
So it’s time for the kitchen romance.tm
Omg he told her he’s a chef and she’s so turned on 
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OMGGGGGGG IM DEDDD 
But should’t she tie her hair #justsaying
Now back to the Neil’s crazy fam, where the only other person with sense, Anjali2.0 has also said to her dad, that Neil was always right about him 
Yesss gurlll, give it back to him
She’s telling him off how he forego his religious beliefs for her, but why can’t he do the same for Neil
I actually like her so much and the way she’s written
She’s also telling him how she tried to make sure that Neil never felt their mother’s absence (a responsibility she didn’t to take up), because her dad never let Neil feel loved 
OMG SIS SAID THAT BY BEING HEAD PRIEST, YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN YOUR DUTY AS A FATHER AND SHE DID NOT STUTTER 
Everyone is shook (including me)
I was not expecting her to give her father an ultimatum
So she said, that if he does not give Neil and Meera his blessing, he will see her dead 
OMGGG WHYYYAYFOIHFBEI THE ANXIETY 
Episode 9
We’ve begun with some cuteness regarding her rubbing flour all over face 
And like the idiot he is, he’s told her that her face is completely clean 
OMGGG HE’S GUIDING HER HANDS 
HOLY SHIT SISSS IS ALREADY IMAGINING HERSELF BEING MARRIED TO HIM 
Like same, but I also cannot 
Also I’m lolling at the fact she’s imagining their Nikaah, like his family won’t kill him for that
OMG THIS DICKHEAD HAS GIVEN THE CAKE HE MADE FOR HER DAD TO THE GAREEB CHILDREN LIKE SHE GAVE HIS SANGORIA TO THE GAREEB CHILDREN 
Awww I spoke too soon, she left the cake at the shop and he was just messing with her 
Guysss I really love their chemistry
He said that he won’t sit behind her, coz he doesn’t sit behind girls *rolls eyes*, but she’s not having it and reminded him that she beat him in a motorcycle race so he should suck it up
And they’ve had their first ‘accidental’ pressed up on each other fall 
A trope I do love with all my heart  
NOW HE’S COVERING HIS CHEST LIKE HIS IZZAT HAS BEEN LOOTED 
I’m hoping that Shyam1.5 isn’t as bad as his predecessors, but I do realise that is wishful thinking coz the couple scene where he talks to Saraswati was quite sweet
OMG THERE’S AN INTRUDER IN THEIR HOUSE AND I REALLY DON’T WANT SARASWATI TO GO CHECK, AND I’M FREAKING OUT 
She’s found Naveli’s earrings on the ground, Shyam1.5 and her are having an affair aren’t they
I FUCKING KNEW THAT NAVELI WAS SUSS AND SO WAS THIS HARAMKHOR SHYAM1.5 
I AM SO GROSSED OUT RN, WHAT IS SHE 10 YEARS OR MORE YOUNGER THAN HIM 
OMG HE’S ACTUALLY YUCK, LIKE SHYAM WAS YUCK BUT AT LEAST KHUSHI WASN’T HIS SAALI
AND WHAT TYPE OF COUSIN DOES THAT 
Saraswati please go fuck him up 
OMG OMG OMG YEH PADA THAPPAD!!!!!!! 
Well that’s another week done
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