#im not that active anymore but im still here im just a adult adulting a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dizzeeflower · 2 years

Text

I guarantee you there is one manifestation of disability that almost everyone on this planet has actively laughed at and made fun of. yes, even you

can you guess what it is?

it's something there are constant gags about in media, something people mention in passing as a joke

something that if it presented itself in a public space i guarantee in most situations would be openly and loudly mocked (and if not humour, most people would at least express disgust)

don't believe me, do you?

✨ incontinence ✨

yep, it's incontinence. (get your giggles out now folks)

I am partially incontinent due to a fun cocktail of mental and physical disabilities and i know for a fact this is where people will stop reading, have a little laugh, and move on thinking this isn't worth the read anymore

but please, if you want to be a true disability ally, stick around and listen.

5% of the world population is estimated to be incontinent to some degree. 1 in 20 people (and no, that is not just elderly people)

so yea when you're in the grocery store, or at the gay bar, or seeing your college theatre's rendition of Grease - chances are there's a good handful of people in the crowd who struggle with incontinence.

it might be just someone who has minimal stress incontinence - something very common in people who have been pregnant - or someone who has adhd and forgets to go to the bathroom, missing the cues from their body that they are desperate, or yea it could be the 85 yr old grandma who wears diapers.

the point is, all of these people deserve respect for their bodies. everyone does. and this includes bodies that malfunction sometimes.

'omg thats so funny im gonna pee myself' 'reddit boys can go piss in ur little baby diapers' - great comeback bestie, but can we move on from them now? im gonna be honest these don't offend me personally, but it's worth being aware of where the humour of these comments comes from. its rooted in ableism

but something that does offend me and something that genuinely triggers me to have panic attacks and can push me into an anxious depressive state for days at a time, is when a character wetting themself is used as the butt of a joke on screen.

i'm thinking season one of stranger things. yeah, most of us know the scene right? when eleven forces a bully to pee his pants in front of the whole school? yep, triggers my ptsd right good that one does. and my siblings ptsd. and im sure many many many more ppl with incontinence (or even ppl without it who had the unfortunate experience of an accident in school)

if you found it funny, i dont care at this point. keep doing you. i dont blame you, okay? but i just want to ask that you reconsider WHY you laughed. 'because he pissed himself' okay but WHY is that funny? 'older kids and adults arent supposed to piss themselves' yea well it happens sometimes to most people at least once, and to 1 in 20 people much more often than that. so WHY is that funny?

keep asking why why why... and if in the end you can't think of WHY, then maybe there isnt a reason for you to laugh at it except that you've been taught to by osmosis. because everyone else laughs

dont give up here, because this is where i want you to really think. is it worth it?

is it worth laughing at something just because everyone else is, and risk 5% of the population going into a self conscious spiral, a panic attack because of your mocking, making them think they will never be accepted?

obviously u making a "im gonna piss myself" comment while laughing does not put 1 in 20 ppl into a panic attack, but u get where im coming from now i hope

so if you're still reading, im guessing you want to reconsider some of your behaviours and comments about this subject. thank you! now that you've realised where these jokes are rooted, you're going to start noticing a lot more often just how much this disability is mocked in society.

but what else can you do to help?

consider sticking up for us because understandably incontinent people dont tend to stick up for themselves lest it out us as incontinent. because admitting that is still met with laughter and disgust. help us jumpstart the incontinence acceptance by speaking up for the silent minority whenever an incontinence joke comes up in class/family gatherings/general conversation (this is my opinion, any other incontinent folks are v welcome to challenge this if u would rather ppl didnt for whatever reason!)

another thing you can do is - you won't like this - dont call ppl disgusting for buying adult diapers with silly animal characters on. unpopular opinion here on tumblr dot com, i know

but listen: incontinence products are disability aids! pullups, incontinence pads/pants, adult diapers, these are all disability aids. not products of k!nk, not things to snigger at in the pharmacy.

and would you complain about someone putting hello kitty stickers on their walking cane? would you think it gross for someone to doodle little stars and affirmations on their wheelchair armrest? is it wrong if someone wants pink hearing aids instead of a nude coloured ones? no?

then don't laugh if someone wants lil hearts on their pullups, and don't fake gag if you happen to see purple patterned adult diapers on ur dash. sometimes humans just like to decorate their bodies and extensions of their bodies. this is just that. and lets be real, plain white nappies just aren't the vibe sometimes

~ while we're at it, ppl with stoma bags are beautiful and deserve to wear whatever they want to feel comfortable and handsome as hell 😘 ~

and let me address the elephant in the room. yeah, some people have a f3tish for this stuff (just like anything can be made into a f3tish). whatever. if ur against that stuff then idc pls dont talk abt it in the tags and comments. anyway it is NOT an excuse to find actual disabled ppl disgusting for needing these aids.

and heres the funny thing: you usually can't tell if someone uses diapers for a f3tish or for their disability, or possibly both!

so you're gonna have to not attack random ppl on the internet bc you don't know what their life is like (what a shocking new hot take)

if a 46 yr old balding man with a beer belly and chest hair who isn't visibly disabled mentions he uses diapers, don't assume he's a creep and its a k!nk. it might be, sure, but it might be a condition or disability that you have no right to comment on or judge him for.

so if youre squicked by it just block and move on, don't send anon hate, dont make a post about how these types of people make you sick. you might just lose a valued mutual who was secretly incontinent and thinks you hate them for it now (whether this is right or wrong, its often how these things come across)

(btw if anyone fuckin talks abt k!nk on this post im going to scream directly in ur ear :) make ur own posts and don't bring any f3tish discussion onto mine)

had to get that out of the way unfortunately because this is a condition that is so unfortunately overrepresented by the f3tish side. i wouldnt have to talk abt k!nk on many other posts about disabilty aids but this one unfortunately was necessary

it's exhausting

imagine having a disability that requires aids thats almost EVERYONE winces at, laughs at, mocks loudly. and then to come on tumblr, the place that is meant to be full of acceptance from strangers in similar circumstances, queer and disabled and poc - but the moment your aid is brought up in discussion its seen as something disgusting and the property of freaks and creeps and people who are evil and want to do children harm

it's exhausting, like i said

i dont have much else to add honestly, im shit at writing cohesive posts (especially when im physically shaking with anxiety bc woohoo announcing to possibly thousands of ppl that im incontinent) but if anything i just hope you will question yourself if you laugh at this stuff in future

im going to go back into my little anxiety hibernation hole and never open up about this condition again ✌🏼

as for the incontinent population, we’re pretty silent about this condition so it’s easy to forget abt us. but please just keep us in mind and stick up for us when u can

— for clarity: incontinence is not ALWAYS a disability, it is a condition that can affect ppl on a sliding scale. for some it is a mild inconvenience, for some it severely impacts daily life. for some it is the only physical condition their body experiences, for some it is a symptom of a predetermined mental or physical disability such as generalized anxiety disorder or paraplegia. whether or not it is considered a disability, acceptance of ALL incontinence is a good step to eradicating this source of ableism —

no one has to reblog this but pls consider it if this has opened ur eyes a lil and u wanna open some more

#watch this get 8% of the notes my autism acceptance post got (:#thats generous tbh maybe more like 0.5% lol #my post #disability acceptance #disability positivity #incontinence #incontinence positivity #incontinence acceptance #ableism mention

400 notes · View notes

cinna-bunnie · 6 months

Note

yo wait now im super interested. what're some of your ghost/demon experiences if u don't mind sharing? i grew up with a very superstitious family and saw a lot of otherwordly things as a kid but since being an adult idk...its like i lost the Vision

omg i never saw this ask.. what u say makes sense though! Kids n animals can See and people whose parents fostered that are so fucking lucky.

It's a lot easier to keep that connection and carry it over into adulthood than it is to re-establish that connection as an adult. When I was 18 I was going through so much hell at the time that I didn't want to see anymore and if anything didn't want stuff to follow me and get me kicked out of anywhere I was staying at.

I do still come across stuff as an adult, it's just a lot more rare than when I lived with my fam. Our home was very active but ig I have a lot of good and neutral things that sort of "walk with me" so to speak so that was nice 2 hear. After I left home things got so much worse/violent tho??

Here's some of my stuff in screenshots below, let me see if I can find my sisters' stuff she shared w me.

12 notes · View notes

lordiavolo · 6 months

Text

hi my dear tumblrinas... im going to semi abandon this accnt as well as taking a break from my discord. when i started my "Identity" as link i was so much different then i am now. i believed different things and thought in different ways. ive changed so much its crazy, wnd i just feel like ive grown out of it. coming back to this blog always makes me slip back into that.

also having bpd sometimes as much as i wish it didnt makes me less toxic/better mentally if i avoid people :^( i dont want things to be that way, and im still trying to figure out the balance and how to accept friendships as human connections insead of transactional, so im not going to log onto discord for a while, but i will come back there eventually! i just dont want ppl to think im mad or ghosting u! im just trying to learn how to be an adult and how to be kind and offline

i will likely come back here just to post art, so im not totally abandoning this account, but i wont really engage with any replies/rbs anymore, just drop my art and scurry back into my hole lol.

om archive server ppl i love u and im sorry im a bad admin 😭. i am still actively archiving, and i wish i could figure out a better plan for having a public archive, ive just gotten really scared of letting everyone down or making ppl mad so i keep disappearing from our server :(

everyone who liked my posts and put up w me being annoying and always tried to see the good in me thank u. ily. if u want my discord (even tho ill be away for a while) u are more than welcome to send an ask or dm edit: also adding to this that i really dont like that i was ever involved in harassment campaigns, even indirectly. even if we disagreed on something its against my morals to do shit like that, and i wish i hadnt. one day i hope to be able to reach out to anyone i hurt directly and apologize, but im still sort of worried i may frighten someone by doing so (ie getting a message from someone you had problems with can be intimidating as i have been through before), so i hope that for right now this apology at least will mean something to you.

#personal

12 notes · View notes

workof-tortured-poetsdepartment · 1 year

Text

barely gonna properly interact anymore, not being rude!!!

ok since I use tumblr a lot, I'm gonna do a thing now (also its like the prime time for me to get back up) I have 2 months to make or wreck my life and thing is I do not want the 2nd option

people who knew my OLD account, know I started a 100 days challenge right, in my mind I'm still doing it but not gonna lie it got messed up due to things happening but the main point of it was NOT GIVE UP, never

soooo lets start it small week by week day by day step by step, it wont be very organised but i wanna win from myself this time

some things I'm gonna change are:

rn i follow like 30 people im gonna reduce it to like atmost 10 cause i dont want the FOMO, this doesnt mean i hate you or i dont wanna interact with you people, i will do that when im free like particular blogs spam and stuff, and i will follow you guys back when its all over, cause it gets overwhelming tbh and my self control isnt the best (now i could easily like delete this site and yada yada, no i cant i have been here since 2021 this is my like 2nd home after Pinterest so yeah)

i will barely try to interact but my dms ask are open if you wanna drop by say something tell me anything reblog or comment stuff that's fine, from my side it will be replied maybe late sometimes but i will i promise, im always up for hearing anyone's problem

do not accept the all so aesthetic bullshit from me, i'm not here to be a motivation, i'll fail and fall, but i wont give up, that's all this is gonna be lots of study vents and shitposts and just a chaotic messy thing

if im found very active here, kindly hate me bully me off here im all for it , unless im ranting or venting, then dni unless its like important thing to say

If im not here possibly for a few days, and anyone wanna know I'm alive that time, my pintrest will be active, drop a hii there

also well this is my space lol whatever i do but still to give my lovely friends here the idea of wtf is happening with me this will be pinned for a while<3

now some things to know about me- me is called zuege. this is @disproportionatelysculpting sideblog, im an artist creator there i have split personality(flexible character), im adult by mistake, passed of school not in college phase so its bad, mentally not okay, ambiverted and weird but i can be a great hot mom friend you guys need

17 notes · View notes

masterporky · 5 months

Text

im gonna go on some sort of rant that may be deleted later. i guess it could be considered a vague post but ive cut off anyone who im "vagueing" or whatever. its kinda my explanation why i havent been here much recently. its not very cohesive or anything its kinda just my pissed off rambling. its really long or whatever.

ive been treated very poorly by people in the rpc. it was mostly in a discord server made by someone i had trusted. i trusted them because they were older and more experienced than me. and they seemed nice

i guess its my fault for being a kid on the internet in spaces primarily dominated by adults

but also. those same adults were kids on the internet just like me when they started out. so i dont understand how they cant show an ounce of sympathy or come up to bat for me when i very obviously need it

i dont care if you hate children, i dont care one bit. it was an all ages server. pro tip: if you dont want to be around children in online spaces dont be in all ages spaces!

even if it was only me and about 3(?) other minors out of like 10 active people. i dont care.

im mostly angry at myself for joining a server out of blind trust for someone i thought i was friends with. i know it wasnt very smart of me to join a server where i knew most of the people would be adults

but i still cant understand why they all began to fucking hate me. they acted like i was aggressive and unapproachable because that was the type of character i played. they vagueposted about me and acted like i was some sort of villain.

they made groupchats where it was me and 2-3 other people (usually mods) and practically ganged up on me whenever they didnt like the way i spoke or the way i played my character. and then one of those people who said they had been "bullied" by me joined back afterwards because yippee!!! i was gone!!! so now they could shittalk me some more.

"bullied" was me wanting them to properly communicate with me when they didnt like something i said or wrote. which when they did do that it was while in those groupchats. "bullied" was just them not liking the way i talked.

this person did so much other than just fucking that. they borderline fetishized black women & played what i can only fucking call a shittily concealed mammy stereotype. they roleplayed as a pedophile around child characters and REAL CHILDREN (me) which yes when they were askrd to stop fucking using their pedophile character they did. and they told me i frustrated them because they didnt understand me. there is a very high chance that i am neurodivergent. i dont care if you're neurodivergent too, thats borderline ableism. and their partner threatened to harass me once i left. what a great fucking thing to do.

oh and after i left, along with another person they put their "triggers" as "pokey minch" and "earthbound" which is just fucking spitting in the face of anyone with real fucking triggers. i did not traumatize you. grow the fuck up.

one of the weirdest things that happened was that someone who had joined had been making me uncomfortable beforehand (i have since forgiven said person) and no one else knew them. so they completely ignored when i was uncomfortable. but then. they had their character say "kill yourself" to one of the mod's characters and suddenly they got immidiately banned after. hm.

dont get me started on the mods. the mods who i thought were my friends, but excused everyone elses far worse behavior while condemning what i had done. which was seemingly nothing. and the owner of the server did absolutely nothing but let them do this.

i think the worst thing i did was, in a panic when i started feeling like a horrible person, send an apology to the owner a week later i dont feel bad anymore. i dont feel bad because i know that i didnt deserve whatever the fuck they were doing to me in there. i feel bad that i basically lied about being sorry. i guess it wasnt lying because i did feel very sorry and guilty at the time but it wasnt right to send what was basically a false apology to them and i wish i didnt because its embarassing and also wrong.

and the worst thing my friend who i invited did who they also hated (he's also like. a minor) did was send a very mean message to one of the people who had gotten mad at me for a seemingly very small reason and sent mods after me for it. which. i appreciate him being the only one fighting on my behalf. but i dunno.

that person was one of the people who made pokey minch their trigger. and had also made some insane fucking comment once about being "neutral on gay and trans people. some are nice" thats called being a bigot you fucking walnut. you cant be neutral on that sort of thing. and they criticized their coworker for being "racist" when their coworker just said that they hated white people and then got fired for it

the person i had the most problems with had spread what seemed to be false rumors about someone else in the rpc as soon as they entered so im not very certain im going to be safe from any sort of thing like that.

these people were 21-32. i am 14.

and not to sound like im giving you my sob story but its just that. do they just not remember being a kid? do they not realize how genuinely worse being in school has gotten? late generation z kids, especially in a school thats like mine where theres no minorities and everyone hates anyone whos different is actually hell. the people who hate me for being edgy or coming off as mean would fucking drop dead if they stepped foot in my godforsaken fucking school. on top of being bullied relentlessly in school, i now have to fear that i'll be basically bullied in the spaces that i thought that id be safe in. and by none other than people who should know better and thay i thought would have known better because they're well past highschool.

im tired of being treated like im an easy target for harassment everywhere i go. i almost quit roleplaying on tumblr altogether after that because it was such a stressful experience as well as the entire server being made up by mostly people i was mutuals with and have since blocked

ok um i guess my point is just that well. if youre going to have your blog or your discord server be an all ages space maybe dont try and chase out children immidiately because you dont like them because theyre children. you were an edgy teenager who acted stupid too so you should try to have an ounce of compassion for edgy teenagers who act stupid.

oh and also if you cant separate fiction from reality then block me. straight up.

also like. idk if any of you are worried youre following any of these people. i aint gonna like list them down since this isnt supposed to be a callout post but if you like really wanna know for some reason you can like dm me. like as long as u dont harass anyone or anything idgaf

anyways heres some shitty memes i made off it cause like you gotta do something to like not entirely die after some bullshit like that

#POLLYANNA (ooc)

3 notes · View notes

chojuuro · 2 years

Text

i wasn't gonna b a freak about this on main but i literally can't stop thinking about it. SO. under a cut because i love yelling.

im like 99% sure this is the point when obito places yagura under his genjutsu and takes yagura as, essentially, his puppet for the next x number of years.

"You are going to be very useful to me."

and yagura looks so fucking scared. he can't be older than 13, recently made a jinchuuriki and even MORE recently a perfect one; depending on how long bee has had gyuuki, it's extremely likely that yagura is the first known perfect jinchuuriki. and he's probably just out patrolling or on a mission or something. comes across these three strangers, and all of a sudden, he's got no control over his own body anymore. no control over his mind anymore.

(side note, but i think a lot of people forget that those with a sharingan have the capability of controlling tailed beasts, which i think is why he didn't disrupt the jutsu his host was under, like we see gyuuki do for bee. anyway)

i've been operating under the assumption that he was essentially out cold for those ~9 years but now that im thinking about it, i think it was more of an off/on thing, where obito would activate the jutsu when he needed yagura to act for him. i don't think it was a constant controlling yagura thing.

we haven't seen a LOT of yagura in canon but what we HAVE seen i think says a lot about him. the first time we really see him is during kisame's backstory ep in 251; and he's, essentially, just obito's puppet.

(mangacap because im lazy. i've also never noticed how YOUNG he looks here and it breaks my heart)

obito is, ultimately, speaking through yagura here. he's extremely subdued, monotone, emotionless. and then obito comes out, yagura just. stands there. obito gives his whole "i'm madara, join me kisame" spiel, and yagura stands there. emotionless. still. silent.

and then kisame says, "so the person i believed to be the fourth mizukage was actually you all along?", implying that, no, yagura wasn't the one making the decisions. i think that's easy enough to assume given their whole, relationship? i guess? but either way.

we don't see yagura again until e329 when naruto is brought to the jinchuuriki mind plane with yagura, roshi, utakata, yugito, and fuu, as well as their respective bijuu. and we see yagura here acting friendly, diplomatic, and less formal than we saw in his initial introduction under obito.

yes this is the scene i clipped the other day i think about it a lot

ANYWAY, he's much more expressive than he was when we saw him. talkative, excitable, exuberant, diplomatic. mocking, even, when he asks in the anime what it was like to kiss sasuke ("sasuke? kisses? what was that like?" is the exact dub line btw). defensive over his reign, which is supremely interesting considering it's the bloodiest, darkest time in kiri history.

WHICH leads me to believe that he may not have been fully conscious over himself or his actions of the time. because how is this little "I WAS REALLY DISTINGUISHED! AND I'M AN ADULT!!!!" the same guy who brought us, "You know that the world is a sham." almost like they're two different people.

"but des," you ask, "this shows him dead. wouldn't he be a little more i actually don't know where i was going with this i just needed a transition to my next point ANYWAY.

i couldn't find this in the manga after a brief search but i'm talking about e456 during one of itachi's backstory episodes when he's brand new to the akatsuki. we meet juzo biwa, itachi's first partner, and a former kirinin sent back to kiri for this mission. a fight ensues, juzo dies, yagura is able to take the executioner's blade back to kiri.

we see yagura very clearly upset, angry, ready to fight.

the genjutsu being only controlling of him sometimes would explain, too, why he at the very least held more emotion here than he did during that initial scene.

he was, ultimately, still under obito's genjutsu, even if he wasn't being expressly puppeted at the time. he's still more subdued, and definitely more cruel than we see him in his other scenes; could be the genjutsu and obito's forced complacency, or yagura's own lack of tolerance for deserters. this is unclear.

it would, however, have to be while yagura was under obito's genjutsu, because it's after yagura becomes mizukage (it's unclear when exactly yagura became mizukage, however i tend to believe it was around a year or so after he became isobu's host, which was around six months after rin's death. yagura would have been 13 at the beginning of his reign.)

in any case, isobu is conscious enough to provide yagura his stage two cloak and continue the fight, take juzo's life, and make it out.

which leads me to believe that, no, the genjutsu wasn't necessarily on all the time, but there may have been some kind of seal in yagura's brain or something there to keep him complacent, keep him from sniffing anything out on his own or doing anything about the genjutsu.

anyway, we know that this happens before the scene where yagura and obito meet kisame in kirigakure, because kisame was itachi's partner second. juzo was already dead by the time that kisame joined the akatsuki, as far as we know.

the next time we see yagura is during the above clip, before obito has him in his genjutsu at all.

i generally headcanon that yagura is the one to have taken the third mizukage's life while under obito's genjutsu, ending his reign and beginning yagura's own. whether this is the case or not, it's extremely likely that yagura isn't even mizukage yet here. he's all of 12, 13 years old; comes across this patrol of strangers, and is trapped in a genjutsu for next 10 or so years. scared and alone. can't tell anyone about what's going on, because even while he physically can't, he doesn't even really know what's going on either.

he's terrified, and even his bijuu - the one other being who knows his mind as well as yagura himself does - can't even help him out of it.

i don't really have a point to this i just have a lot of feelings about yagura and his five minutes of screen time

#this clip is from e472 btw if anyone was wondering i dont think i said it #its one of the ones where bito like. takes a look back thru his life ig ANYWAY #this is making me insane #yagura my little meow meow or whatever turtles say #yagura karatachi #karatachi yagura #obito uchiha #kirigakure #isobu #uhhh #idk what to tag this as it kinda just turned into stream of consciousness #naruto #naruto shippuden #kiri #turning yagura around in my head like he's in a microwave #desposting #tumblr didn't want to function so i had to copy and paste so i HOPE IT WORKS THIS TIME AROUND #forbidden des flavored kiri lore

85 notes · View notes

feelssogoodinmyarms · 5 months

Text

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening )

Doing this bc i miss springy wakening😔

1. how were you introduced to the show?

when i was really into hamilton in like 2016 jonathan groff was white boy of the month for a while and i was consuming all the groff content that i could and i came across that video of him talking about when he fucked up left behind. and then i listened to left behind and cried and read the wiki page and watched the obc boot and then i woke up here

2. Seen a production live?

yus i've seen 3

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

i've been in love with wendla since i laid eyes on her and i would die to play her. im obsessed with her, she's got so much more depth than people realize and that was cut during the transition from play to musical fuck you s*ter and i would love to bring that to my rendition of her. and i was also assaulted when i was her age, i was also suicidal, i was also confused af and my mom was not helpful, i also wanted to be loved so badly, i just see a lot of my teenage self in wendla. i related to her so much when i first saw the show and that's a big reason i got so obsessed with it.

4. Favorite male character

prob moritz or hanschen. they are 2 sides of the same dramatic ass coin. they also have daddy issues and are gay like girl me too.

5. Favorite female character

all of them? wendla holds a special place in my heart but like. there is so much to love about all of them even anna and thea who we know almost nothing about have the building blocks of great characters. i've always loved combining what we know about the characters from both the musical and the play to make more complete characters especially because s*ter cut so much of the girls characterization bc he's a sexist pos fuck you and i def do that with anna and thea.

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

dwsa for life but obc walked so they could fly

7. Favorite song

AAAAAA probably touch me just cuz it's soooooo pretty

8. Least favorite song

probably woyb bc im heterophobic and melchiorphobic

9. Favorite quote/line

musical: "giving yourself over to someone else? defending yourself endlessly until finally you surrender and let heaven break over you? i just put myself in her place. and imagine"

play: "won't you come visit me in my dreams now and then? i'll welcome you with outstretched arms and kiss your breath away"

10. Favorite TV performance

dwsa touch me on seth meyers i have to watch it daily or i get 1 level of exhaustion

11. Favorite cast member(s)

i can vouch that kathryn gallagher is cool as fuck cuz i met her at a ben platt concert but j groff and jgj seem pretty cool. alex wyse and jbw seem unhinged i think i could hang with them. smf and katie whoever are so talented i wish she wasnt an anti vaxxer. andy mientus attacked me with a candelabra just like riff raff did to rocky😔

12. Favorite cast member moment

when josh castille followed me back on instagram when andy mientus, kathryn gallagher, and josh castille covered sex by the 1975 and all the videos the cast made on various social media platforms

13. Do you write fan fiction?

unfortunately

14. Do you make fan art?

i have made 3 fan arts that i don't think i have anymore

15. Do you cosplay?

i am too poor

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

both bitch

17. Word of your body or the Reprise?

reprise cuz i love gay ppl

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

bothhhhh

19. Explain the song of purple summer

vague hope ig? like "the adults have failed everyone but we're all 15 and will be adults soon so maybe we'll be ok" with flowery language

20. Explain the song of purple summer (wrong answers only)

ilse and mulchy took acid to see their dead friends

im tagging @dwsavideos and anyone else who sees this and is into spring awakening cuz idk if any of my sa mutuals are still active😭

#spring awakening #dwsa #deaf west spring awakening #fandom tag

5 notes · View notes

nostalgicangel · 1 year

Text

hi! if u didn’t read my bio, I talk abt a lot of my mental illnesses and problems here. I do have a trigger warning, so if anything disturbs you here, pls block me, I encourage it.

I use to be super active on tumblr 3-5 years ago. i frequented the teach crush community & eating disorder community. after something that I had to go through, I decided I needed to leave for my recovery of both my eating disorders and sexual assault.

some info: ive struggled with bulimia since I was 8 years old, anorexia in my teens and now I’m a young adult and still struggle with bulimia. i was assaulted when I was 15 and 16. im diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bulimia nervosa, BPD, and PTSD. pls reach out if u relate to any of my struggles and need someone.

I’m here to talk about either with anyone, who also may be struggling. so message me anytime!

im not in recovery anymore with my ED, I just need to document my relapse. like I said before, pls block if anything here triggers u. <3

7 notes · View notes

lizzienaut · 2 years

Text

leaving the community

oh man, hardly thought i’d see the day when this would happen. i’m not really sure where to start this post to be honest, so apologies in advance for having to read my poorly thought out ramblings.

for those that don't wanna read, the tl;dr = i'm furthering myself from the sfw community, this blog is going on a permanent hiatus, you can find me @buntopiia or @kinkynaut if youre 18+, im just generally unhappy and tired here but im so grateful for all of the support and all the super cool friends i made here <33 its not goodbye forever!!

it’s been a good run, hasn’t it? but then again, it’s not like im going away completely — i'm still gonna be active on tumblr, just not in the sfw side of the tickle community. i'll also be active on my new main, which is @buntopiia, so if you aren't 18+ or just arent comfy with nsfw content, you can still find me there if you ever wish to talk.

so here comes the nitty gritty of it all; i just don't enjoy being here anymore. im sure its super apparent to everyone that the sfw community is always on the brink of tearing itself apart, barely being held together by its seams - and to be honest, i'm just completely over it. it seems that we can't go a day here without someone getting death threats or being told to kill themselves over the way they perceive their interest in tickling, which is such a stupid fuckin sentence to type out, but here we are.

the rampant hatred everyone seems to have for each other is draining. and this isn't about the anons that i've gotten specifically- i found those funny more than anything (i'm still a slut well denizen at heart), but a whole slew of other things as well. the constant drama feels reminiscent of high school, and come to think of it, it's probably because the sfw community is filled mainly with minors. mostly ones who don't know how to cultivate their own online experience and blame the adults for it, but i digress. every callout post is just a reminder of how toxic and shitty the sfw side of the community can be. lots of people hide behind the "sfw" title to seem innocent and approachable. lots of people demonize the nsfw community for everything that happens here. but in all honesty, when's the last time you've seen any big drama from the nsfw community?

lots of people stay in their own little bubble there, curating their own content and reblogging from each other solely. i find that (most) adults are very good at following their dni criteria and keeping minors away, even if they don't listen. and the fact that the kinksters are so harshly spoken about by the sfw community is another major factor as to why i'm leaving.

i have a tickle fetish. i see tickling as something both nonsexual in platonic scenarios and sexual in romantic ones (in my own life, of course). hearing people constantly saying having a fetish is gross or vile or whatever is genuinely upsetting, which is why i was in denial about it for the longest time. i felt disgusting for it. i was so ashamed and terrified of people finding out, because i thought it would make me some kind of "pervert" or something, which also sounds incredibly stupid when i type it out.

like seriously, this is a post about tickling. the fact that we have drama and community politics over here is the dumbest shit i've ever heard lmfao

but yeah. i feel safer in the nsfw community than i do here now. i'll post the occasional fluffy tickle art on my main, but other than that, all of my content will be posted onto my kink account. and you're more than welcome to interact with my main!! you dont even need to be on anon or a main yourself, im more than okay with tickle blogs interacting with me. it isnt something im ashamed of anymore, and being in the nsfw community has helped me overcome that fear. being unabashedly kinky is extremely freeing, tbh.

its been fun and ive seriously enjoyed my time here with you guys <33 again, i'm not gone completely! i'm just distancing myself from the "sfw" brand and moving on to other things. thank you for everything <3

#important #liz peeps™#tickling

23 notes · View notes

unwelcome-ozian · 1 year

Note

hi oz, ozzy, and josha!

im the host of a system thats currently going through some upheaval, the inner world was just completely redone and is even larger than it used to be, everyone is seperate from each other now (but can still go between each others homes, were just not on top of each other in a shared hallway)

ive been noticing that my alters are all somewhat distresses right now, theyre not doing anything dangerous but theyre all feeling incredibly...lost? i guess? they feel like their purposes aren't needed anymore, like we dont need an alter for sex work because we dont do that now and are in a monogamous relationship. or they just, wanna redo themselves almost?

is there any way for me to facilitate this? or help them i guess? we have a pretty bad relationship honestly, my adult alters strongly dislike/borderline hate me honestly, which is making it hard for me to help them, but they also dont seem to want help?

anyway, thank you so much for your time and i hope you had a good day, youre incredible people 💖

Hello. Thank you for your encouragement. If some members of your system are experiencing distress but don’t really want your direct help, maybe helping indirectly by providing an opportunity for them to have input and increased communication through writing to one another may increase their sense of purpose by focusing their energy on a common task of understanding and cooperation. This could also give them an opportunity to share regarding any distress they may be feeling, and if there are any issues related to this, of which you may not br aware. They would also have a space to state ideas to be considered in working toward compromises that might be achieved to maybe improve their sense of wellbeing. If you’re interested, Oz and Ozzie’s system have posted some journals and workbooks to help improve system communication and working cooperatively toward some common goals here. It may not happen that the members of your system who are currently experiencing distress are the first to participate in these writing activities; however, as they see others participate, they may be inclined to join. As your system’s communication improves, your overall relationship with the others may change in a positive way as well. I hope this helps some. I wish you well.

~Josha

#answers to questions #distress in the system #alter communication #system communication #organized abuse support #journals #workbooks #supporting system members #Josha

10 notes · View notes

yonpote · 1 year

Note

can you plz talk more about allie tricaso's video on the phandom 👀 i do not have any energy to dive into it but i would love to hear your thots

sure! here's a link for people who do wanna give it a watch, i really enjoyed it, she came at this topic from the perspective of someone who used to be (in her own words) a toxic demon phannie. she talked about how people like sh*ne d*wson and onionson would just mention dnp's names in their videos to get views, and she talked about how the community would sexualize or scrutinize dnp in the wildest ways, one of my favs that she brings up in the video was someone had photoshopped dan like basically on top official phil in a spooky gaming video and claimed that THIS REALLY HAPPENED GUYS I TURNED THE BRIGHTNESS UP AT THIS TIMESTAMP AND OMG which is honestly hilarious to me

tbh i feel like in a weird position cuz i feel like arguably the stuff i post about them could be read as demon phannie? and i definitely used to be on all the pw locked blogs and watched That etc etc but i always like validate my actions to myself by being like, well im not fuckin @ replying them about this shit and honestly most of the horny stuff i post abt them is tongue-in-cheek and i hope yall dont take it too seriously and understand like, when fanfiction is fanfiction and when reality is reality (i could probably do better to post tone indicators for that tho sorry) (but thats also why my blog is 18+ lol yall are adults hopefully ! use ur discretion !) BUT AT THE SAME TIME do demon phannies even exist anymore if theyre both out and dan is saying "basically yeah" to being a couple and they are just Like That in videos now? idk

i actually commented on the video about how like, dnp have always been pro-fanfiction and pro-fanart or at the very least they have never actively discouraged it, i mean they wrote their own fics in their book for christs sake and dan has admitted to reading fic multiple times lol. so like even when they were very denying of being gay and no-homo howell was a whole thing, dan still made a video about shipping (that got deleted but its out there) that was like "oh you wanna write a story abt me fucking my friend? ok fine but YOURE GONNA MAKE MY FAVORITE POKEMON GOLDEEN???" or like in the tumblr videos they would poke fun at like phil dying in fic or "why are we kissing at the radio station so unprofessional" but never hated on it or told ppl to stop which i think is interesting.

6 notes · View notes

short-and-ugly · 2 years

Note

in depth analysis on all of your mutuals and who is your favorite /hj

gsugu

smelly-ugly-roach

most recent mutual..... funny lil guy... REALLY INTERACTIVE YES!!! love that. also loves to torture me

you seem uncomfortable interacting with 18+ people? i think? so. just so you know. im an adult 👍

rissynicole + totallyradicalmucky + rnarchhare

drew skoodge.... yes good..... did not expect a follow back

violintrees + exciien + licketysplitz

idk what to say...... silent iz mutuals

turretoracle

biggest fan, gives me things to procrastinate on (looks @ shimejis). enthusiastic about my worldbuilding and in turn i am enthusiastic about yours......

cinnamonghost

we have interacted Once (literally just today) and it was pleasant, would do again

milkoftheflesh + sixfeetumber + cricketnoises + seabunnythatlikeshorror + yourfavouritewindimage +sad-boy-hank + dan-crimes +skythealmighty + theloisthatlikes + corrupted-miii + disaster-reasonable-48 + characcoon

HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE

zimsrightantenna

most of you came during one of my other phases and have Not Left....... 🥺 youre all too amazing

COOL PERSON i think you are friend-shaped. in my head

verm1c1de

drew skoog when you didnt have to... ALSO read my stuff without me actively pushing it in your face which?!?!??? ..... thank you :)

nice to talk to even if youre a furry (joke-ish)

rivozara

HOW are you following me. i cannot remember when this occurred. AND you have cool art???????? 🤠 yhell yheah buddy

transfloppa + forgot-how-to-breath

have never spoken a word. reblogs my stuff and leaves......... true lone wolves. youve seen loner anime protagonists? these guys make them look like amateurs.

crabussy

COOL ART i have never seen you draw a background though 🤨🤨🤨💥 lol im kidding you dont have to draw backgrounds..... i get it...... did you abandon your fnaf fic? i havent checked. i think i abandoned mine. want to get back to it but. eh

wacky-theater-kids

all the way back from the roy phase...... still talks to me even if we're not really into the same things anymore. friend

voidpurrmina

all the way from the dark ages. since BEFORE tumblr. since i was called soul. jeez.

you disappear for weeks and then like one of my posts and disappear again.

ohgodoh-fuck

LITERALLY SECOND IN MY FOLLOWINGS LIST ONLY TO MY OTHER ACCOUNT. do you still know who i am. bahah im pretty sure you do. i think youre a friend. hope you are

#gerrnswers #tell me if i forgot you and ill send you a handwritten letter

10 notes · View notes

minnieposting · 1 year

Text

talking about ocd, hyperfixations, and loving vocaloid

minnie journal entry style post again, except this ones SUPER long lol.

a few nights ago i had a Moment of Weakness . it mightve been a withdrawal thing but i was not at my best lol, i just became really upset out of nowhere?? i was listening to some teto synthv stuff and kinda just Reminiscing on my vocaloid days ... i find myself doing that pretty frequently lately but since im not rlly hyperfixating on anything rn, vocaloid pretty much becomes my default. but im getting ahead of myself.

i get weird about my hyperfixations. when one starts slipping away it used to be so genuinely painful like i felt it so physically i would get so depressed whenever i felt hyperfixations start to slowly fade. i was always like that, but it was different with vocaloid.

i will never be able to really describe HOW much vocaloid means to me but its litreally part of my soul. its ME. like i was sitting here trying to do exactly what i said i couldnt and guess what, i couldnt really describe it. i was really REALLY hyperfixated on it for 8 whole years straight, elementary school up to when i was around 15? thats when my ungodly uncharted 4 hyperfixation came eating my ass .... and i remember the only reason it stopped was bc i felt too guilty abt leaving vocaloid behind I KNOW U CANT CONTROL HYPERFIXATIONS BUT MINE LITREALLY JUST STOPPED. after a specififc day of intense guilt lmfao

but yeah. guilt. whenever i leave behind a hyperfixation, i just feel SO guilty, and i dont really know why. i always feel this need to “prove” to myself that i still love a character, they still make me as happy as they used to, and i feel weird and bad if im not getting into smth as obsessively or if im not “consuming it the correct way”. i feel like im not rlly explaining this thing well but ocd is just a nighhttttmare , it bleeds into everything and lately its been bleeding into my interests and my creativity x1000. and im just really sad about that because i feel like i wont ever be that same person again, bc im just too hyperaware BC of my ocd and i just find myself ruminating a lot. though this usually starts to become Active in my head when my hyperfixation is actually starting to go away ... lol. when im balls deep into smth i will be way too obsessed to be in my head like that!

but. all this just being context lol... i was listening to teto synthv stuff and just. i dont even remember what caused me to start getting so upset but i just started reminiscing and getting in my own head about all this. how i dont like vocaloid as much anymore and wondering if ill ever be as happy as i was back then. i hate being an adult bc being an adult means being more Aware and being aware means ocd bothering me and just. idk. I was thinking about everything. Typical rumination spiral. just started getting really sad and upset bc i was just stuck in my thoughts and thinking about how younger me would be disappointed in my current self

it didnt last very long at least, and i ended up listening to re:ng and pinnochiop. but the songs that i clicked actually ,,,,,, helped me so much. one of the songs i clicked was rainy snowdrop by re:ng, and i found myself resonating so deeply with the lyrics. like im actually a bit emotional rn typing bc i went to go look at the lyrics again and im listening to the song rn. it really picked me up and made me feel ok again. then because youre here by pinnochiop played. and just. FUCK BOTH OF THESE SONGS ARE JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR IN THAT MOMENT. it reminded me that itll be okay. simple as that.

and. im only writing abt what happened a few nights ago because while i was playing future tone earlier, it just hit me. ive always been saying that vocaloid makes me feel like myself. but then i started thinking about what exactly that means. and im actually thinking about it now while i write. its like home to me. vocaloid is where ill always go to, where ill always be. i grew up with it. its never not been with me. and no matter where i end up, itll follow me and itll be okay. ocd likes to make me ruminate about the past present and future but one thing that i know for sure is that vocaloid will always be there for me. i see it in a way where its me and my kid self. and i value my inner child so much. which is a bit ironic to me, bc of the way i treat myself...

idk. vocaloid is just really grounding in general. whenever i spiral or need to be pulled back down to earth, its there, and itll always help. its just nice to have this forever thing that i love so much

#minnie post #actuallyocd #just dumping my thoughts #minnie diary moment

3 notes · View notes

crybabyddl · 1 year

Text

Omg y’all im so sorry about my inactivity over the past year or two. My life is becoming more “adult” in the sense that I have places to be, people to see, and things to do. I really only come on here when I have the chance to be alone, which isn’t very often anymore. I was so active on here because of the pandemic and now that things aren’t as isolated and have essentially reverted back to an altered version of pre-pandemic life, I don’t have the time nor mental energy to write, post, or interact on here like I used to.

It makes me really sad because I’ve made some wonderful friends on here. It sucks bc a lot of them became inactive after the hype for JATP died down and then everyone basically went inactive once it was officially canceled. I saw it coming, but it still hurt. Not only that, but I also got into some dead fandoms lol.

Anyway, I guess this is my official post saying to not expect any writing from me from now on. I will still be active every once in a blue moon, and I will never deactivate my account. I want to keep all my work available for y’all to read bc I know how frustrating it is to go back to a fic that I bookmarked or copied the link to, only to find a blank page bc the person deleted it or deactivated their profile. (Of course people have their reasons so i’m not hating i just get sad bc i liked the fic enough to save it to read again so it’s a bit disappointing, you know?)

ANYWAY, I will still interact with people and posts when I find the time to be on tumblr and I will never say I’ll never post writing again, but just don’t expect anything from me, not that anybody still was anyway, but I just finally have the courage to make the official ‘I’ve “outgrown” my active era on this platform’ post.

Thank you for all the love, friendship, laughs, memes, asks, tags, and support through the years, especially 2020 and 2021. (But also special shoutout to 2017 when i was mainly posting for HS1 and had a post reach 1k notes for the first time) I will always be here for you if you message me, and I will always do my best to check in as much as possible. Just know I wish I could be on here more, but I also don’t think it’d be the best thing for my mental health lol.

ANYWAY… Thank you for everything. Reach out whenever, I’ll be here even if I’m not RIGHT HERE.

I love you all so much.

-Nicole <3

#crybabyddl rambles #emotional #ugh life #moots <3 #ilyasm #thank u #<3 #text #ramblings #not goodbye

2 notes · View notes

kamil-a · 2 years

Text

GOWLANTHROPOLOGY, or “Winning At Gender”

DISCLAIMERS BEFORE WE START-

-i am not finished his route yet. this isnt a roundup of the character/route, this is mid-route impressions only.

-theres a lot of other things i could wander off to talking about but im trying really hard to limit my scope to one thing, for time and effort and brain capability and coherence’s sake.

first of all i want to establish something that anyone who even briefly interacts with this game probably knows very well. Im going to try to keep this to canon facts as much as possible without interpretation:

Alice is constantly comparing herself to the "perfect" (her word!) women that are her mother and sister.

both of these women are dead.

while she isnt able to access the knowledge that Lorina is dead, currently, she does openly talk with nightmare about how grief affects the way you talk about a person- only the good parts remain in your sight, theyre not there to offer their opinion anymore, etc.

okay, we're letting “my opinions” back in the room now!

so we see that, within the worldview of hnkna, the perfect woman is a dead woman. the “perfect” status that alice wants to achieve is impossible for her so long as she is alive because the perfect woman comes to exist at all by being eulogized.

“okay but kam we know this. where are you going with it. where are you gowling with it, even.”

lets get this down to a thesis statement. I tried really hard to make the text here blue, in honor of umineko, but it was destroying my other blockquotes etc that i put for ease of reading, so please just imagine that the bold text is blue (like in the umineko manga, i guess):

gowland badly wants to "win at being man" the same way alice badly wants to "win at being girl". however, while winning at girl is, within the worldview of this work, impossible, winning at man IS POSSIBLE within the worldview of the work and in fact we see other characters do it all the time.

as a product that needs to sell copies, winning at man HAS to be possible because this is a dating sim with a target audience of not just straight women but straight women who want a particular set of tropes to be in play. i’m not saying this as a value judgement just an observation- this game was made to appeal to a particular audience!

So as the route goes on, gowland keeps asking alice to affirm him on two things- first, if she can become "aware of him as a man". second, if she can "be wary around him" the way she can be "wary" of other men she knows.

brief interlude- until the game says it outright i am going to assume that the WRITERS think he is cis. EDIT: he is, in fact, cis, as ive been informed. but for a character who

1. (im not sure yet if he actively did this in game or if it was a writing decision that just goes unquestioned, but it IS changed) changed his role name from something female-gendered (duchess) to male-gendered (marquis), and

b. has a girls' first name he explicitly hates being called by ( because of the pun it makes with his last name, but still),

i headcanon that he is a trans man. and i think that this adds some more really interesting layers.

okay. back to masculinity.

lilich: gowland your GENDER lilich: babe does this horsie make me look masc lilich: i get the PLEASE GENDER AFFIRM ME BY DATING ME thing but you gotta do that when youre like, 16, and not a whole adult,

Alice repeatedly says that as she gets to know him he becomes someone he can “relax” around, someone who makes her feel peaceful and who she can talk to or not talk to about deep stuff as she wishes without pressure. and this makes him really depressed! and it’s something she tries to placate him about over the course of the route (YES babe the horsie DOES make you look masc, etc)

GOWLAND: “... Even this doesn’t make you wary of me?”

GOWLAND: “So even if I do this, you’re not aware of me...”

ALICE: (thinking) He hangs his head and I hurry to reassure him. When Gowland gets depressed, I somehow get incredibly flustered.

even when he suddenly kisses her, she says it made her feel "startled", but it didn’t make him seem like a dangerous or threatening presence to her. Shouldn’t this be good? Shouldn’t it be desireable if your crush feels relaxed in your presence, responds without fear to you kissing them? But...

GOWLAND: “As a man... For you to be so relaxed with me in this situation is difficult, so...”

this goes in circles until they get into a real fight about this where he says in return some things that make alice feel truly bad and he has to apologize for saying!

(That she’s a cold person, that he thinks she must’ve been a player back home- MUCH to unpack here but this is the gowland essay and we mustn’t wander too far or we’ll be here forever.)

but it becomes an issue in the first place because, as he keeps saying, over and over, this isnt the kind of thing "a man" wants to hear. I’m going to quote some fellow scholars (friends who watched me stream), now.

lilich: like i think there are ways to do it that would be really interesting to me lilich: but by the nature of this game its treated as like lilich: very normal and right that a man would feel this way lilich: which is not really great to me lilich: BUT ALSO SOME OF IT IS VERY FUNNY

lilich: my issue is not that hes trying to win at man or that he comes off as aggressive especially since he explicitly fails at being aggressive...my issue is that the wider narrative is like, yeah this is totally normal

skitazzu: I guess he wants to make her nervous like in the "I like you way" but it comes off aggressive skitazzu: and creepy

But now we have to ask, WHY is this masculinity within this setting? Why is this, specifically, what a perfect man is?

for easiness’ sake, i’m going to quote/paraphrase myself from yesterday-

the culture of man in this park is different from what he’s trying to be. the culture of man in this park is a HYUU HYUU guy*. we have seen this for ourselves with our very own eyes and ears, that a man in this culture, this territory, this country, is a HYUU HYUU guy.

He might be masculine when compared to the men where he lives, but not when compared to other roleholders.

*we see a scene with the local faceless guys and girls and theyre all full of pep and energy and have 24/7 customer service voices just as a local accent even when not at work and this guy goes HYUUUU HYUUUUUU and its a really hysterical bit of voice acting

for example, his behavior brought up a connection for a friend-scholar:

skitazzu: YOU KNOW WHAT skitazzu: IT GIVES ME skitazzu: TRYING TO BE LIKE ACE skitazzu: BUT he can never be ace

So this “wariness/awareness” he’s trying to reach is a standard not of being a man in the Amusement Park Territory. He wants to be a man in the style of (to look at the game level) roleholder men or (to look at the wider view) dating sim love interest men.

(i think looking at how vivaldi fits in as a love interest and roleholder woman who is treated differently by the game but still given moments of romantic aggression could be VERY interesting, but again, not the point of this essay. MOVING ON!)

august 12, 2022 edit - it’s been weighing on me for some time now that i quoted something that is Extremely Not About Silly Little Videogames for my silly little videogame essay. regardless of the association in my brain it seemed inappropriate to me and i’m deleting it.)

okay, now i’m going to quote a friend-scholar again. this blew my brain RIGHT open. i have nothing to add it says it all for itself.

EccentricIsopod: i think his angle is interesting within the context of this wonderland, where violence is so ubiquitous, physical power is kind of irrelevant, so winning at man leaves, interpersonal power or fear i guess, which as we've been saying, is a weird angle

and other love interests DO have alice being “wary”. other routes she could take DO include that element of romantic/sexual aggression, fear, jealousy (as a normal and expected emotion born of Being A Man With A Crush) and feeling of ownership to her, etc.

And because this is the desired trope, they embody it so it can be in the story.

So I think I’ll leave it here for now- In this worldview, you CAN “win at man”, and many men (men-y, hahhaaha) do.

Thanks for reading all this!

commentary on the gowland post:

thanks to friend-scholar @venhediss for this information!

re: the "you aren't aware of me as a man" thing, i always read this as "man" having the built-in suggestion of "potential sexual partner" because of how naturalized the role of sexuality is to a man vis a vis a woman. you see this same phrase in other japanese media; i guess the english equivalent is, you know, friendzoning or "like a brother to me". that's what gowland is upset about, i would think, is that alice's lack of wariness around him shows that she doesn't consider him as a potential sexual partner (he's "like a friend" or, in this case, more likely "like a father", but not like a (sexually interested and interesting) man). if she did, she would be more conscious of the fact that he could potentially be perceiving her sexually, and she would be more cautious and more on guard.

it is obviously shitty and patriarchal and it's rooted in an understanding that women are wary about/guard their bodies against men who they perceive as potential sexual partners, because a potential sexual partner is also a sexual threat.

the HYU HYU guys and the other goofy faceless are probably goofy, from a meta standpoint, to keep them from ever reaching that level of being recognized as potential partners - they're desexualized and perhaps, consequentially, demasculinized, because those two things are intertwined.

like i have a reason for thinking this, i've seen this like. i think the phrase is "otoko to shite ishiki wo suru" or something similar.

like i literally just googled 男として意識 and the first page is "how to make the girl you like be conscious of you as a man: 9 methods"

So essentially i want to clear up that a lot of this is based on me reading it literally as a man (gender) , and not realizing the expression it actually means. But i hope there were still things here worth reading and good thoughts for you to digest!

#hnkna #thoughtful honking

16 notes · View notes