#im so sad i was thinking about the rp event and my brain was like Oh Ill Wear A Cute Dress! then i remembered :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

confessionsofa-roleplayer · 8 months

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This is gonna' be a girthy one guys. First: I left tumblr in 2019, I couldn't stand it. When I tell you I had an awful experience using this app for 9 years for roleplay, I really fucking mean it. It was fantastic from when I was younger, I started using it around 2012 or so and it was when things were enjoyable. I saw the CREATIVITY that a community could create when it was something like [REDACTED.] Somewhere along the lines, it all died? Like, it was so s sad to see such a fun concept die along the way, I still don't know why.

Somewhere around when I turned 18, I was noticing people were horrible on here. I had friends that would tell me they screenshot dms, discord, and anything that could be a recipt "just in case" I was like "Just in case what motherfucker? Huh?" And then I got hit face first with callouts on my dash, people leaking dms, private conversations, ex friends posting their "testimonials" -- keep in mind, this was not me or in relation to me, and some of these were very much valid and warning of REAL LIFE dangers to others, while others were about shipping incest. I don't care if you think it's gross, that isn't the point. The point was never that callouts let people know X user writes X and to avoid / block, it's that every single time this happened, someone would add a completely irelevant factoid about X user like " they did this to me 2 years ago and I did not like it!" Okay? Alright? A lot of this could have been discussed in dms or just not posted to get 200 notes and somehow end up calling X an abuser. I've seen this so many times, it's not some isolated incident.

For some reason, friends could not part ways without having a mt. of dirt on the other and dumping it all out when the time calls for it. It was like everyone wanted their 5 minutes of fame. It was made infinitely worse when this site became extremely self-sanatized where if you wrote anything that was "probalmatic" or "toxic" you were REQUIRED to be a victim of that same event. Imagine, for three minutes, a self-rightous 17 year old has the gall to ask you if you've been SA'd before because they found you rping this with your rp partner. Even if you think this is gross, there is literally MOUNTAINS of evidence that shows healthy exploration of these thoughts, kinks, and experiences in an enviorment you control is cathartic. Weather or not YOU, the uneducated individual without the psych degree, start yelling "SEEK HELP" as if this was not already a proven method of controlling and facing trauma. Let me tell you: you're not. It's fiction. It is writing. It is fake, a real life occurence, but it is still fake. I have seen people sexualize their fantasy-murderers on the same level as anyone who wanted to write SA porn. Again, this isn't about if you find it acceptable or not, it's about NOT BEING your place to dictate how, when, or who can write it on any grounds, especially demanding to know someone's HISTORY of assault, like imagine being so utterly brain dead that you think you, a stranger, deserve to know anything like this LMAO? it was incredibly common! It was crazy!

Shit, Im getting to the bottom of the box lMAO. Okay.. but yeah, I left tumblr for 4 years to try different sites. I've been on Aniroleplay, and let me tell you. The sanatization the anti crowd wants leads to that. A christian-promoted rp site where if your character is shirtless or has big boobs you get banned because it's "indecent" or "obscene." Twitter has the same amount of problems since most of the minors and obsessive repressed losers left for it. Actually worse than tumblr, it is now peak 2017s tumblr.

I've been on other rp sites where i've had some of the best rp, rich roleplays, GREAT partners, and fun little oc creation experience I ever had. Everyone listed their interests, if you didn't like, you didn't BRING IT UP. You continued like adults, and if not, you block. Boom. The site literally ip bans you if you harass someone. That's what tumblr needed, but instead, all we got was people using statcounter in the midst of 2017-2020 to show who was "stalking" or who left the page open by accident, or something. I was so anxious id have my ip leaked, even if it wasn't a precise location, the idea of someone finding my name and ruining my life was horrifying. I've seen it happen, I've seen people lose jobs from it, I've seen what someone awful with INTENT can do.

Leaving was the best thing ever. I came back only recently because I wanted to try and find a few partners and imagine my fucking shock when I see " NO drama, NO callouts that aren't SPECIFICALLY in reference to A REAL INDIVIDUAL who poses a danger to others " it was insane. It wasn't an isolated incident, but every profile I follow has this, it's all around blogs I wouldnt even think of following, but when I check, I see it there. It's like they all got exhausted with the constant "THIS PERSON WRITES X AND X" like alright? BLOCK THEM, you clown.

This was really just something I've been thinking about. Sorry if this is too long, but thanks for being active for so long guys.

#general #confessions

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akilliosacheron · 1 year

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well jenkins won my poll from a while ago so i guess its my time to talk about jenkins. lemme kinda go back to the beginning about it.

So, Season 12 is when i started being a blaseball fan. I officially on the site roll up to the canada moist talkers on the election sunday that the big siesta starts so im out here like what the fuck is going on while my pal corvoda is a decent bit more interested than i am at that point but i digress.

I miss the coffee cup and related events and i finally start showing my face in the discord, i think i got started on jenkins because i had stumbled across some of the blaseball rp twitters and wanted to join in, so i picked a blaseball player who didn't have a twitter at the time which was jesús and jenkins and i picked jenkins.

there is a message specifically telling me that jenkins doesnt get much love compared to other players on the team and lemme tell you, i took that PERSONALLY.

the first couple things i learned about jenkins was assorted stuff from their wiki. Flaming eye, gamer, and from greer's wiki i think i learned that jenkins and greer were.... something. relationship something.

after a while, i took a crack at making a jenkins interp that combined two other interps i had seen, big lizardy jenkins and mostly humanoid jenkins and ended up with salamander jenkins, eventually switching over to leopard gecko jenkins.

the thing that both entertained me and made me sad is that nothing ever really happened to jenkins. this player who i loved so much didnt recieve a stat buff till late expansion, despite being active with the same stat total since s4 election. sure they got crows mod but rarely did they play in bird weather just cuz of how weather works.

if i can be salty a little bit, i've always had a weird relationship with greer because of how much we focus on her. i know buff greer was funny and it definitely is super funny dont get me wrong but jenkins was a great pitcher until the stat creep hit. we still has to spend several elections on greer because she was a fan favourite. i feel in my heart that if it had been jenkins in that feedback there probably wouldnt have been as much of a push to get them back and idk that always scared me.

its not that jenkins was truly irredeemably bad at the time but compared to a player like greer? if we had to choose between greer or jenkins in something i know greer is winning and that does weird things to my brain sometimes idk i will digress again

jenkins being an active player vs kennedy trevino tyvi who are (were, in tyvi's case) fuckin dead is a wierd space to be in too. especially now that jenkins is on the tacos in new era i rotate between happiness that the tacos like them and deathly fear that theyre going to misconstrue something about them because jenkins is just so specifically Talkers-fied that you really had to be there for the jenkins conversations to understand jenkins' vibes. Its one of those things that like, jenkins was an s1 talker, they had all this time on the team so you just Got the vibes.

my sad thing about jenkins on the tacos? i feel like i cant talk about them anymore. my jenkins is talkers jenkins and i dont know the tacos and i am afraid. this is not my jenkins good anymore this is a whole other jenkins now and i think.... thats really the thing thats fucking me up about this new era. but at least jenkins is doing okay last i checked.

uhhhh lemme actually say some fun headcanons here... Jenkins has a math related degree in Orb Studies and can determine the exact salt content in food just by licking it. they eventually get a pet gecko named Adkins.

#jenkins good #blaseball #canada moist talkers #im not gonna tag the tacos specifically #being a talkers fan is hard sometimes #word of mouth is so fun until you have to explain it to those uninformed and then its TERRIFYING #for those who understand #i am a system and we have a jenkins fictive #our jenkins fictive cannot function regarding tacos jenkins and it really affects my interpretation of the character #theres nothing i can do to fix any jenkins involved feelings #jenkins is a large part of what kept me going on blaseball #jenkins and the talkers #the new era ruined both of those things for me i think #i didnt mean to make this sad honestly but #its hard to jenkinspost now

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saltyslack-toast · 4 years

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#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

#book #book quotes #bookaholic #booknerd #book review #the devil all the time #donald ray pollock #religion #review #novel #thriller #psychological #tom holland #robert pattinson #bill skasgård #sebastian stan

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