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#im so sorry this really is all thats keeping me going
ganondoodle · 12 hours
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sorry i keep coming back to totk rants, but something that utterly baffles me from a game design perspective especially is
who, in their right mind, would think to put similar objectives with the same characters in the EXACT same place as its previous game when already reusing the same exact map (no, single rocks springkled around isnt a meaningful change, fight me)
like from a purely logical point of view its just ... not logical?? and TWICE so when most players will have played the previous game, so now that the exploration, which was the main driving point of it, isnt as satisfying simply bc you know most locations and what is what, the thing you need to do is subvert it as in you go to that location and theres something else now or something that leads to a new reveal, but not NOTHING either, bc you likely cared about what youd find- the satori mountain was such a cool mysterious place, so now you head to it to see what is now and its nothing but maybe an obvious treasure chest? thats both lazy (i realy use that since its way overused by people missusing it) and just ... it might be meant as a lil nod so that there isnt nothing at all but to me it feels even more condescending as if there were literally nothing instead
satori isnt here anymore? thats weird if its always been there, so you go find a cause, maybe theres a fissure somewhere you can enter a large cave system, an hidden entrance to the underground that reveals there is something corrupting the place somwhere nearby but not exactly in the same spot- make it into a bossfight at which end satori gets cleansed- maybe it got captured and taken somewhere else, to a place that was kinda neat but didint serve a big fucntion in botw like maybe it was dragged somwhere into the big tabantha canyon, or to the forgotten temple
you try to visit rito village but the snow and cold there got so bad that you cant even reach it without special gear, and when you do reach it its utterly frozen in thick ice and not a single soul is there, the perch of vah medoh is knocked over building a bridge as a subtle hint as to in what direction perhaps, its intriguing bc clearly they have to be SOMEWHERE, maybe they tried to use vah medoh to evacuate but bc its losing power and doesnt have a skilled pilot they crash land it into the mountains, now trapped there and due to the storm not able to send anyone out to get help, maybe some did but they didnt make it and you can find them on your way and rescue them, and bc of the storm being so bad no one can get out and no one can get in (except for our special boi linky ofc) and even after the storm has weakened they dont immediately go back and act like everythings normal, maybe theres an extra mission afterwards helping them rebuild the village but not exactly the same as it was but fortified, different to account for things like this happening again, establishing the crashsite of vah medoh as a second outpost, or a temple, to thank it for bringing them out of immedaite danger but couldnt go all the way
theres so many places that are so clearly modeled around botw that are entirely unused now bc they had to remove all things shiekah for no reason, the holes they left jsut being holes where somethings clearly missing or some chest with a gem in it while the new shrine thing is within view distance a few meters away, might as well have put them in the exact same place bc it really doesnt make a difference
(like alot of those ideas im using for the rewrite which changes many things but you get the point right??)
and its even worse imo with the building stuff, bc now you dont even have to journey there you can fly glide and literally drive there instantly like a giant skip button so you cant even appreaciate the way to it, you skip to one important part to the next
and then points of interest are REPEATED AGAIN, like with shrines and lightroots and settlements and big mines- that is the opposite of satisfying gameplay, you dont have to explore shit bc its all in the same place which is probably why they only did tiny changes to those few spots and nothing else bc they knew most people would run right to those so it gives the illusion of changes (which are half reversable or barely a change at all) and even those are STILL meaningless
its right up there with having even MORE grind with less substance to it than in botw, the shrines and krogs got a lil old but at least the environment, its subtle storytelling etc were something- and totk just bloated everything with more little meaningless collectables while not changing anything meaningfully (and instead pretends that some things where never there and those new boring things were always there)
more shriens with shorter puzzles or none at all, more krogs with the same reward system, over a hundred tiny caves that all blend together bc they are all so similar and you really only do them for yet another colelctable for old gear and ONE cool new one with a bad effect after which the things collected become uselessreally, souls to collect to buy you a single armor set, rewards being largley reused old stuff from botw (imo you should have a chest in your house, yes YOUR house, that got most of the standard versions of botws armor in it so you dont have to buy it all again??? but you gotta think of going home first and dont have to use it- make new versions of them alternatively so you can choose if you want the old one or new one and also LEAVE ONE AT YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT HAVING TO SELL IT SO YOUT INVENTORY ISNT AS ENDLESSLY SCROLLING AS YOUR STUPID ARROW BAR)
theres new effects from food and armor thats largely useless (like the attack when hot?? why wouldnt you you jsut combine an armor and a potion- put on hot armor and drink an attack potion? its way more efficient no?? idk i found it to be yet another effect thing to bloat my inventory especially when NPCs keep giving you shitty effect food)
the whole sonanium (zonaite?) collecting with multiple ways to convert it into yet another currency??? huh???? AND have it be the thing for you to autobuild with?? when you need it upgrade your battery which takes an insane amount of those stones?? wells, while finally an actual well are NOW ALSO LIKE A COLLECTABLE and im gonna take a wild guess that the reward is utterly disappointing too
the fairies are all blocked by much more annoying means than in botw (like i wouldnt want to carry those NPCs three meters away in their little cart antoehr time please) and the amount of material AND MONEY NOW you need is so much higher for no reason (if its their attempt to make the game harder its the lamest way to do it)-
all while instead of expanding on the foundation of botw they ripped it out to build a new one while pretending they are both there (im so so slaty about this .... a sequel like this should expand upon the stuff of the first game, both in theme, narrative, mechanics and more and not ... replace it with slightly different versions of it while abandoning everything established before and really only using it as a way to skip having to make you care about some characters bc you might still care about them from the other game)
i could go on, as always lol, anyway, i really really dont get why this got into the final game ..
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medusavsviperz · 15 hours
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Hi!!! I love your content so far, it's amazing ♥. If requests are still open could I ask for In heat/Mating season Dogday or Catnap x Fem!Reader?
Mating Season
warnings:smut,cussing
relationships: in heat!dogday x fem!reader
writing type: second person
genre: smut
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it was spring in the playcare. all the children were running around, laughing, playing, really anything they could do. it was also the first spring since youve been dating dogday. wait- speaking of which, where is he?
you wandered around the center plaza of the playcare, asking around to see if anyone has seen dogday. you begin walking up to hoppy, who was playing soccer. "hey hoppy, have you seen dogday?" you ask, seemingly worried. "nah, usually he's with the other kids." hoppy seemed to he focused on her sport, so you decided to leave her alone. you turn around and faceplant right into bobbys chest. "shit.... sorry. what about you? have you seen him?" you were quick to question, obviously embarrassed. "sorry toots! haven't seen him either, have you checked his house?" bobby would respond, after you bumped into her. "oh, no actually, thanks! ill go check that now." you mutter, running off in the direction of dogdays house. as you walked on the street where all the critters lived, you couldnt help but notice how eerily quiet it was. usually kids would be hustling through there, but not today.
as you walk up to dogdays house, who was on the very end, you cant help but notice how all of his windows were blocked out. usually he would have them open, obviously for sunlight. you decide to ignore it, softly knocking on the door. a bunch of rustling can be heard, along with a few whimpers every now and then. suddenly, the door is opened, revealing a slightly different looking dogday than normal. his face was flushed, he looked like he was sweating, he was shirtless, and god... his sweatpants were loosely hanging off his waist, showing his hip dips. your eyes wander for a second, before returning to dogdays half lidded gaze. "puppy? are you alright?" he doesn't respond, instead he grabs you by the arm and pulls you into his house. he makes sure to close and lock the door, before staring you deeply in the eyes. "if i tell you something, do you promise to keep it a secret?" you nod, your seemingly confused gaze still wandering. "you know what spring is for animals right..?" he asks, looking off to the side. "dogday where are you going with this..?" you ask suddenly. he sighs, closing his eyes for a second. "its mating season angel." his eyes dart back and fourth between yours, looking for even a hint of discomfort.
"oh.."
"thats why ive been so distant recently. i didn't want to make you uncomfortable." he mutters, resting his large hands on your shoulders. it was your turn to be silent. instead, you kiss him softly, before pulling away. "it doesn't make me uncomfortable. and I'm willing to help you if you need me to.." his body goes tense, and his eyes widen. he can feel his arousal growing. it was already high to begin with, but seeing you, and all your glory, made him all the more needy. "angel... are you sure..? we haven't taken this step in the relationship yet." he was right, y'all haven't had sex yet. but it couldn't be that bad, whether you were a virgin or not, you doubt he would hurt you. "i'm sure dogday. im ready to take things a step further." neither of you had seen each other naked, but there was a first for everything yes?
he slowly but desperately nods, leaning down to kiss you passionately. his tall frame looming over yours as he does so. his hands slide down your waist, grabbing and groping every curve he can. his tail was slicing through the air so fast, that you could literally hear it. he gently lifts you up, and parts the kiss so he could see where he was walking. his vanilla scent wafts in the air, taking up every space it could. he finally makes it to his bedroom, softly setting you down on the bed. he looks at you with loving eyes, kissing you softly, and pulling away. he lets out a shaky sigh and reaches for the waist line of his sweatpants, staring you in the eyes as he does so. you look down in anticipation, in all honesty, you would think about how he would look naked quite often. embarrassingly often at that. he slowly pulls down his sweatpants, revealing his all too hard erection. you stare in awe at his massive size, reaching out to touch the tip with one of your fingers. "ohh...my god.." he whispers, more to himself than anything. he gently pushes you onto the mattress, and pulls your shirt over your head. he practically starts drooling at the sight of your perky breasts staring at him. his hand grabs a hold on one, gently massaging it. his other hand, reaches for your bottoms and tugs it off, leaving you in only panties. "you're perfect." he lets out a soft whimper and starts pulling off your panties with both hands, gasping at the sight of your glistening pussy.
he inches down onto his knees, using his large hands to push apart your thighs, holding the back of your knees in the air. you can feel his hot breath on it as he looks up at you for permission. with a slow nod, he licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit, sucking gently. whimpering as he hears your gentle moan. his hands move from gripping the back of your knees, to gripping your inner thighs and pushing them apart for better access. at this point, his muzzle is soaked, and he's desperately eating you out like a starved man. you were approaching your first orgasm of the night, and he was needy for it. honestly, he was making more noises than you were. finally, the knot snaps, and you cum, he pulls away for a second to watch it ooze out of you, before diving back in and suck you clean. once he's finished he stands back up, leaning over you and crawling on top of you. he leaves pepper kisses all over your breasts and neck, and lands a kiss to your pretty lips. you can taste yourself on his mouth and tongue. "d-do you think it will hurt?" you ask wearily. he nods slowly, wincing a bit. "a little. but ill try to make it easier." he says, rubbing smooth circles on upur lower stomach. you slowly turn on your stomach under him, so he crawls off to let you get into position. he watches in awe as you get on all fours, breasts pressing against the bed and ass in the air, showing everything you've got to him. "you're such a pretty girl..." he mutters, sliding a hand to gently massage your ass cheek. he moves into position behind you, gently leaning down so that his chest is pressed against your back. you can feel the lengthly tip caressing your entrance. you squeeze your eyes shut, scared for the pain. he pushes in at an agonizingly slow pace, reaching his hand around to rub your clit with soft motions. he gives it a few minutes before he starts thrusting. his pace was still slow; but god did it feel good. you moan loudly into the pillow, his length filling you entirely. you almost let out a giggle, because you can practically hear his tail wagging and slicing through the air.
he begins kissing you on the back, trailing it up and to the back of your neck. he pushes your hair to the side, and bites down gently on the skin. you let out a slutty moan, urging him to keep going. he bites slightly harder, your moans egging him on, as his pace quickens. his balls started smacking your clit just right, and his dick was hitting your g-spot with ease. it wasn't long before you were cumming again, clenching and unclenching around his cock. you notice how his thrusts get more sloppy, signaling he was close. he was letting out slutty whimpers constantly, his heat only making him all the more aroused.
"where do you want it angel...?" .... "inside." his hips still, and he seems confused. "uh? are you sure..?" he asks wearily. "fuck... please dogday." you whimper. his pace starts going faster than ever, skin on skin slapping filling the room. soon, he was a whimpering mess, his load shooting deep inside of you. he still managed to rub your clit, though his hands were shaky, it made it all the more better. one you were both finished, he gets up, not before watching the cum ooze out of you, then he walks to the bathroom to grab a rag. one he returns, he starts wiping you and himself down, cleaning up the remaining mess. "we can get a shower in the morning." he says while flopping down next to you. "definitely." you sigh, snuggling closer to him, and drifting to sleep.
mating season, wasn't over.
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dizzybizz · 3 months
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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat
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hecksupremechips · 5 days
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
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#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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puppyeared · 7 months
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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snekdood · 3 months
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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bruciemilf · 11 months
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slides into ur inbox as a tim-liker not to start a fight but to genuinely ask if i could gently change ur mind👀👀 bc tim's not that bad if you'd give him a chance (he is very cringe tho
It's not that I don't like him!! But sometimes it just gets exhausting to see "he suffered so much to keep the big bad bat alive" takes like Alfred wasn't right there
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So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."
But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️
So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to
And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to
Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!
#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this#i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry!#i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc-#-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to#but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)-#and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult#and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back??????#we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro....#and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP#NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL#i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess#this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed#and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end)#but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ#he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT#not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ#i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider)#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts#duncan grimwater#im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us
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berenshand · 2 months
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i want to say the wildest thing about wish is that disney fully funded and released a movie where the bad guy could basically be a metaphor for the disney company. but it's even wilder because they funded and released it as their celebratory 'we're 100 years old and we're soooo great' movie. and what's even wilder than that is that their 'we're 100 years old and we're so great movie', which features a bad guy who is basically a metaphor for their company, was a flop
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skunkes · 5 months
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I love talon w the whale tail, makes me think abt what he'd look like in a thong w his jpeg flat ass out
he"s meant to have SOME ass i just dont know how to draw it yet 💔 no ready refs for me to utilize....he wears the fuck out of them regardless of cheek anount rhough
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cosmic-kaden · 3 months
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Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post
Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight
#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine#and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now#I'm just questioning something about someone#sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot#even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in#i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again#it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much#maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now#i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something#i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore#okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight#mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red#alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages#(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)
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iknaenmal · 10 months
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actually you know what. my blog my posts i can post about whatever i want
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juicedbeetle · 1 year
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since your life's been super shitty...
posted with @bikinibottomdayz 's permission
please don't repost outside tumblr
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there's only two things on this godless fuck of an earth i care about and one of them is kazumaji and the other is minedai which means half the time i am eating well and thriving and living my best life and the other half of the time i am clinging to your blog like a lifebuoy and devouring anything even slightly minedai related i see so what i'm saying is thank you for existing and doing what you do, it keeps me sane
my god you really are starving i'm so sorry my sweet summer child i'll do my best to take care of you. very happy to have you around Very Joyed to hear i can keep you afloat my brother
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whomturgled · 10 months
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i have so many feelings and i hate it
#and regrets of any time ive acted up or feel like in hindsight it wasnt cherishing the time i have w them as i shld be and#and things i want to do with them still and ways to love them and be loved and understand their way of loving and#i think we can be so good together and. i miss them. and i hope they miss me.#i really hope theyll miss me soon and want me again and . ik its maybe a little messed up but i want to believe and trust and#its hard and it hurts but. i really feel theres a great connection and if i need to chill out a bit and remember myself more thats fine#and on me for getting so like. moody recently. altho i kinda feel like part of that is med changes but u__u still i need to be able to like#be better and i think they make me better and so happy and. im so comfortable with them and i love them and i wld want to make it work#even if it had to be distance but i dont think i want to just be their friend like maybe but it would hurt a lot bc i love them so much#and i hope they wanna be with me too still and will allow me to romance them yknow flowers and adventures and love and take care and... yea#and maybe some of this was just them going thru a lot rn and im sorry for adding pressure to it and i want to be the comfortable respite an#auurgrgghfhdhdhhfhfdhh i miss them#i just keep thinking abt them like ill have periods of not but then i do again and. idk.#theres also a lot of complicated feelings and thoughts and its like i want to like. idk. know some of their friends n stuff n. :^( idk#i dont feel well from the stress and emotions and ow of it all#i really hope it isnt just a way for them to let me down i really hope they come back eventually like i wanna believe they will but#ourgsghthfhdhfhghghdhdhwkelftk4bfbhwiwjtjejAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love them a lot. and need to listen more abt more alone time stuff bc it is good for both of us but not like this u_u#ok sorry for rambling i needed somewhere to write feelings so here we are#i guess part of me is hoping theyre thinking abt me at least a bit and maybe will check this and see it and be like wow i do miss them too#but ik thats silly and eitth3u2ieigjtb4jirifjwji24jgntn aahhhhhhhhhhh. i say a lot of things wrong esp when scared or overly emotional and.#urgevshehrhtjrjeitjtnjeeitjtjwjeiigvjiw9384847rhfbwjoe4j4n4j289djrnrnf#i just really really hope they come back soonish and like want me and are like yes i do want you sorry for that but not a huge sorry bc#like i understand where theyre coming from and. and. yeah. idk. soon doesnt have to be today or tomorrow but maybe a week or 2 idk#i just realy miss them and it hurts and i really dont want them with someone else or to just throw it all away andni want to prove i can#like. idk. love them and be better and more positive i guess we've both been dealing w a lot of stuff and i do need to learn to accept and#more patient w how we communicate differently and we do have to face that but its a difficult topic to confront ig and aurh4hwhshhrlffff#i think they love me i want to trust and i really hope they dont try to make any decisions for me or like based on what they think best 4 m#bc i get to decide that :^(#when i said let down i meant like. leave my life and never talk to me again and stuff.. ;^(. idk how to feel abt some things but. idk. idk.#theres so many feelings and that all is just a pretty vague tip of the iceberg ugh
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