#imagine doing this bullshit all day & you don't even get to vote about

[spacedace]

Fuck whatever DC is doing with the al Ghul's characterizations and story lines, I've decided that from now on the al Ghul's are gonna be DC's version of the Addams Family instead.

Now I don't mean just give the various al Ghul's the exact personalities of the various Addams and call it a day. That's boring, that erases all the interesting parts of the al Ghuls, that's just using "find & replace" and not actually adding anything. I mean give them the vibes of the Addams Family.

Keep the al Ghul's as the al Ghul's with all their scheming and machinations and world domination attempts but give them all the unhinged energy, the casually insane view of the world, the deranged levels of love and devotion for family. Make them that group where objectively they are batshit insane but also you cannot argue with the fact that they are indisputably the most stable and functional family in the entire universe.

They're creepy, they're kooky, they're mysterious and spooky. Ra's many opulent homes and impenetrable fortresses are a museum and the al Ghul's really are a screa-um whenever people come to see-um (or when they lay waste upon their enemies in a surprise attack that has been planned for months and is just the first domino in a series that will ultimately lead to achieving a far greater goal).

They all love each other and want each other to be happy, they express this primarily with stabbing and murder attempts (its fine, death is a thing that happens to other people).

And forget the League of Assassins being a cult. Just make the whole vast globe spanning organization a collection of cousins/aunts/uncles/dear old friends ect. No one (not even the al Ghuls, if they cared to keep track of such things) is sure who is actually related to them and who just got absorbed into the ever expanding family tree based on their vibes being right.

(Is Sensei Ra's father you ask? Well he's certainly someone's father - probably.

Anyway have you heard about Cousin Cheshire? Despicable poisoner of a young woman, capable of the most horrific things imaginable - yes she is the sweetest dear. Like I was saying though, she just had a baby!

Everyone in the family is just so excited to throw a baby shower to celebrate! Ubu has really gone all out with the spike traps, he does so love getting to welcome a new addition to the family.

Talia of course has cultivated a brand new strain of the most toxic plants imaginable to make a brand new kind of necrotizing poison. You know, as a nice little romantic gift for Cousin Cheshire and that young man of hers. It really is so important to make sure you take time for you and your partner to go on dates and have a few pitched battles to the death on dark rooftops in the pounding rain when you have children.

Now there is some to-do about it all of course, you know how family get together can be. Everyone is arguing over who should get to give little Lian her first weapon and what it should be. Nyssa is pushing for grenades but Ra's is insisting on a sword - he's traditional like that you know - but Dusan has the vote so far on throwing knives. You know the kind that have the little divots along the edges of the blades them to make it easier to get the poison you dip them in to stick.)

I'm just saying that the al Ghuls should be a delightful cross between the Bond Villains they were originally conceived as and the lovingly unhinged Addams Family. It just feels correct in my heart.

(Again keep the interesting aspects of the characters and the nuances of who each of them are like their drive to save the world through destroying humanity and their strong environmentalist leanings and their constantly playing 5D chess and everything, but like, take away the racism and the cartoonishly evil for no reason bullshit and give them some fun feral energy to go along with it).

#batman #ra's al ghul #al ghul family #talia al ghul #nyssa raatko #cheshire dc #sensei dc #no more racism and fucked up dark family dynamics #the al ghuls aggressively adore each other #violence and schemes is their love language #in the full au version of all of this i'd like to imagine how canon plot points change with the al ghuls having these vibes #Just imagine Damian still trying to kill Tim when he first ends up in Bruce's care #but instead of it being a ploy to get rid of a threat its because he's just so excited to meet one of his big brothers #and attempted murder is just how you tell someone in your family that you love them #Tim just SO CONFUSED because Damian is talking so animatedly about how happy he is to get to have some brotherly bonding with Tim #while ACTIVELY trying to run him through with a sword #idk how things change with Cass exactly but i feel like they would in this #like either David Cain isn't an absolute monster or the al ghuls catch wind of what he's doing & are like #This is NOT how al ghuls treat family! what is this shameful behavior! She can't even insult you while you fight! #fighting and violence is a perfectly healthy way to express your love but only if there's actually LOVE involved! #The Heretic & other Damian clones still get made but only because Talia just misses her son so much that she makes more of him #Nyssa has just been bopping around the world for a few centuries & pops up every now and then to have a death match with her baby sister #i just have a lot of strong feelings about the al ghuls deserving better and combined that with the vibes of my favorite unhinged family #Dick still hates Talia but Talia takes all his insults as her darling step son telling her how much he loves her #which only drives Dick even crazier #Tim rocks up to the League of Assassins during his whole trying to prove Bruce is alive thing already seen as an al ghul #Oh yeah that's Cousin Timothy he's one of Talia's kids - never met a truer al ghul in your life #You see how he blew up all those bases? Ra's cried he was so proud #Ra's spoils his grandkids absolutely rotten which is giving Bruce SO MANY gray hairs

[qqueenofhades]

Do you think Barack Obama was a good president?

For the most part, yes. The fact that he got elected in the first place (and in a landslide) was nothing short of miraculous, but those of you on the younger side don't remember just how FUCKING FED UP the entire country was with Dubya and his bullshit. It didn't really matter if you were Democrat or Republican. Everyone hated him, especially when he went out in 2008 by causing a generational economy-crashing cataclysm. For him to go from a 91%+ approval rating just after 9/11, to the low 20s by the time he left office, shows just how sick and tired everyone was with him, and how we fondly (ha) imagined that he would be the worst American president in our lifetime. How very innocent we were.

The fact that Obama, a black guy with the middle name Hussein, who had not even a full term as a US senator as his only real meaningful political experience, could come in there and win is a feeling that honestly is nothing like anything anyone had experienced in politics before. I remember staying up with my family (I was studying abroad in the UK) over phone/Skype until the race was called for Obama around 3am, and one of my classmates ran outside the flat in delirium yelling "OBAMA WON!!!" The pictures of elderly African-Americans just crying their eyes out on that night, and the way they still look at Barack and Michelle now, is special. Yes, of course the reality didn't totally live up to the promise of that moment, but man, for a little while there, it really felt like we had changed the entire paradigms on which this stupid flawed country had been built from the beginning. I can't imagine we'll feel like that again for a long, long time.

Obama managing to save the economy (as noted before, it's a theme that Democratic presidents have to come in and clean up the ungodly mess left by Republicans) and pass the Affordable Care Act, even as watered-down as it was from what he wanted, were two very significant accomplishments. Where he fell short, however, was in his dealings with said Republicans, and obviously not all of this was his fault. Obama was intensely conscious of his position as a political newcomer AND that he was a black guy. The level of racism, vitriol, and sheer ugliness that he (and his family) faced from all quarters was (and is) yeah. We got the Tea Party, the "birthers," and the rest of the radical-right lunatics out in full force, and Obama was aware that he was going to get blamed for everything and then some. He also wanted to think that the Republicans would throw a hissy fit and then get over it and work with him. They didn't. Not for one single day. Not on anything. Just because he was a Democratic black guy. That was all it took, and they stuck to it even as Obama kept reaching for the football and thinking that THIS time, surely they would be reasonable. They weren't. On anything. Ever.

Likewise, the Democrats were caught unprepared by the special election for Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts senate seat, which they lost (taking them from a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority to 59, after which the Republicans accordingly filibustered everything and the Democrats didn't push hard enough to stop them/change the rules). They also seemed to just assume that hey, the country voted for Obama in 2008, they'd clearly do it again in 2010, and they didn't really hype up the ACA or campaign for it or anything like that. So they got shellacked to the tune of 60+ House seats lost in 2010, and then lost the Senate in 2014, allowing Mitch McConnell to flat-out blockade Merrick Garland's SCOTUS nomination (who Obama picked to fill Antonin Scalia's seat) and get away with it. Obama was also not nearly as assertive about nominating judges as Biden has been, though it's also the case that Trump hadn't yet packed the benches with an endless conveyor belt of unqualified uber-conservative hacks. Once again, I think this is a reflection of Obama's overall political inexperience and the fact that he felt he had to "play nice" or get pigeonholed as the "angry black guy," which he then did anyway. So it really was a catch-22.

Online Leftists always like to yelp about "Obama ordering a lot of drone strikes!!!", as if they a) know anything else about American foreign policy, b) are at all interested in criticizing Trump for using EVEN MORE (by like... a lot, and nearly starting WWIII when he killed the Iranian general with one), or c) ever consider the overall ungodly fucking mess that Obama was ALSO left with in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm not about to defend or agree with that either, but it's disingenuous (as per usual with them) to suggest that that was the only thing Obama did during his presidency and/or that he should be judged on that alone. They also like to pretend that he faced no racism at all, that he could have just "codified Roe vs. Wade and didn't!", that there were no double standards in how he was treated by the press, the political establishment, and the American people, and so on.

So: overall, yes, I think Obama had good intentions and tried to do the right thing. He failed at certain major parts of that, both because of the Republicans and because he didn't have the experience to challenge them or know how to work around them, and because he was in an utterly impossible position. The intense white backlash that gave rise to Trump showed that contrary to what anyone liked to think about Obama's election heralding a "post-racial" era, it was back and more ugly and public than it had been in a long time. It was also surprising that our first black president was a Democrat, and not a Republican shill like Tim Scott and/or Clarence Thomas, who has been allowed to rise in the party only because he faithfully repeats all the maxims of the (white) GOP ruling class. So the sheer strength of Obama Derangement Syndrome, which persists today, has to figure into any appraisals of either what he did or what he could have reasonably been expected to accomplish, and I don't think people get that.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

[kencoded-kengirl]

can i just say something? back at your sister’s wedding, we had been promising the whole world that we could pull off the takeover and then you just went all around, the very next day, telling them all that your dad’s plan was actually better. no, it was implied, lightly, as a little... god! part of a tactical kind of joke. will you explain to me… the joke? because i don't get the fucking joke. MY GOD, STEW! i don't get the joke, i don't get the joke. it was something that dad said, that wasn’t true, that i needed to say. but you stood by his side, and he told you to say it, and you were like "okay, well, that sounds good to me." fuck's sake, i'm not doing this right now. you know i was in serious trouble, that was a play. you were okay because you are a tough fucking bitch who will always survive because you do what you need, you will do what — are you even listening? i was okay? — you will do whatever you need. yeah? really? yeah, you sure you're not projecting, because that is actually you. should we have a real conversation? with a trojan horse? no. that was a friendly thing. that was a friendly thing. yeah. sure. real friendly. yeah, no, i'm a trojan horse, you're a swan, you're a... you're a snake. actually, no, you're a fucking vampire. "here's a severed horse’s head for your ex-wife’s apartment, stew, why aren't you laughing?" i wonder if we shouldn't clear the air. yeah? yeah. sure. i think you can be a very selfish person and i think you find it very hard to think about me — what the fuck? — and i think you shouldn't have even signed those papers, actually. what the fuck? what the ACTUAL fuck? you proposed that to me. you proposed the bear hug at my lowest fucking ebb. i had relapsed, what was i supposed to say? perhaps "no"? i didn't want to hurt your feelings. thanks! thanks for that! yeah, you really kept me safe while you ran off to hide behind daddy. fuck off. you're a junkie — and then, and then… — obsessive junkie — you hid, you hid from me because you were so scared of how fucking awful you are. you were only with me to get to power. you got it now, stew, you've got it! I'M WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! bullshit, you're fucking me for my DNA, you were fucking me for a fucking ladder because your whole family is striving and parochial. that's not... thats not a fair characterization. no? well, your dad loves me more than he loves you, because he's cracked. you want to... you want to actually clear the air? fine. you betrayed me. YOU WERE GOING TO LOSE ME FOUR BILLION DOLLARS, KEN! AND THEN YOU RAN AWAY TO NEW MEXICO AND YOU WON'T TELL YOUR FAMILY ABOUT US BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVEN THOUGHT, HONESTLY, THAT YOU’D BE WITH ME MORE THAN FOUR FUCKING YEARS, I DON'T THINK! YOU AGREED TO THE VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE! YOU AGREED BECAUSE YOU WERE TRYING TO BACKSTAB ME! you're just... YOU’RE A BACKSTABBER! YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF THINKING ABOUT ANYBODY OTHER THAN YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR SENSE OF WHO YOU ARE, KEN, IS THAT FUCKING THIN! oh yeah you read that in a book, stew? YOU'RE TOO FUCKING TRANSPARENT TO FIND THAT IN A BOOK! you're pathetic, you're pathetic. youre a masochist and you can't even take it. i think you are incapable of love, and i think you are maybe not a good father to your children! well, that's not very nice to say, is it? i'm sorry. i'm sorry, but you... you... you have hurt me more than you can possibly imagine. and you, you took away the last year i could've had with my dad. no. yes. no! yes. you tricked me and you made him hate me! it's not my fault that you didn't get his approval. i have given you endless approval and it doesn't fill you up because you're broken. i don't like you. i don't... i don't even care about you. i don't care. have we cleared the air, huh? feel good now? yeah. yeah. fucking great. tip top. you don't deserve me, and you never did. and everything came out of that. so fucking flat.

#succession #succession hbo #kenstewy #kenstew #kendall roy #stewy hosseini #is this something? #I hate to say it but in my mind this happens instead of all the cuddly shit in honeymoon states #kendall asks stewy to back him again and Stewy is like ‘can I just say something?’ and it’s off to the races #tomshiv kenstewy parallels #always and forever ♥️ #amperspeaks

[onlyonewoman]

As a 40+ woman who's a hardcore feminist and is quite good with both the rolling pin, the sewing machine, actual handwashing clothes, drying herbs and shit like that: I HATE the current tradwife trend on social media for three main reasons: 1. It romantisizes a period of time in history where women literally had less choices in every single aspect of her life than now. 2. You NEVER hear women in their 80's gushing about what an amazing life they had as stay-at-home wives - let alone how happy their own mothers were. You only hear those who have the luxuary to choose. 3. These so called tradwives are, based on what the average houswife was capable of between, lets say, 1900-1950~ish, nothing but a bunch of vlogging cosplayers who love to pretend they're not telling other young women how they should live. I'm sorry, Mrs. Cosplay Wife, but unless your hands are sore, strong and sinewy from hours of physical labor, your pantry stuffed with boring jars of boring food you're preserving in various ways and you know how to mend clothes both by hand and on machine, you're nothing but a fraud. A real damn house wife is someone who works hard around the house to provide for her family - however it may look. It means long hours of sometimes really boring labour. It means knowing how to take GOOD care of the households clothes and linen. Not just throwing them in on a whim in the machine. NO! We're talking meticulous care here - and lots of ironing and, if possible, mangling. It means preparing and cooking meals every fucking day, doing the dishes, the basic plumbing, getting your ass out into the fucking woods during berry season when others lay on the beach! Forget about spending quality time with your kids - they're either in school, doing homework, helping with chores or out playing. Your husband is too busy trying to support a family of too fucking many on a salary that was good enough in the 50's, but not now, so how about some goddamn reality check? If you're blogging/vlogging about how much you love the 1950's estethics and how much you love cupcakes and traditional values, you're just a young, privileged snob, rich enough to not know a flying fuck about how the real housewives in the 1850 ruined their hands with laundry before turning 30 or how those who took drugs to keep the depression at bay in the 1950's felt, because without a world of strangers constantly engaging with and making you earn YOUR OWN money instead of forcing you to ask your husband for it (because, you know, traditional wives HAD NO FINANCIAL FREEDOM), all those colorful, expensive brand kitchen stuff you're prancing around, all the sponsorships and your own bank account, you'd be just as stuck as the women you're trying to cosplay as. You're not traditional, you just have a thing for a certain aestethic and that's fine. But remember: as long as you earn more on strutting around in chechered aprons that aren't made to spill on, moving through you sparkling kitchen with 50 gadgets your great grandma couldn't even imagine over her depressing zinc tub with dirty dishes, than the average worker at a laundry, a restaurant, a goddamn sweatshop couldn't even dream of buying despite working as hard as the actual homemakers did back when managing a home meant absolutely vital stuff for a family to survive, you don't get to point that well-manicured finger at those who call you out on your bullshit. You're not traditional. You're influencers with advertisers who're using your homes, looks - and sometimes your kids - to earn money by cosplaying a 1950's look that most families - especially the non-white and the disabled - weren't a part of. And on top of it, you can't even darn a fucking sock without ruining your expensive manecure. My great grandma would've eaten you for breakfast - before heading out to march for voting rights.

#tradwife #tradwife trend #the word you're looking for is cosplaying for views

[taenys]

are you one of those jessica fans who honestly believes the girls voted/kicked her out? you'd think someone who stans the 9 of them would not have this bad take, but you'd also be surprised by the amount of "sone" who turn around and then act like the very people they stan are traitorous snakes, so i just want to know, please, if that's something you believe.

I don't know what to believe and I don't think we'll ever truly know. I'm a believer of "they're both right and they're both valid."

Jessica wrote in her statement that the other members, and the company, had originally supported her new business venture. And that one day in September, they had a meeting without her where they decided she would either leave the group or give up her business, despite her previous insistence that she'd continue her SNSD activities. Thus she was "kicked out." This is Jessica's "truth."

SM's statement was that though they initially supported her future ventures, the team and company felt she didn't prioritize her SNSD activities and that led to a "situation...where the team cannot be maintained." It reached a breaking point for them and they couldn't find a way to make it work. This is SM's "truth."

What they both have in common is that Jessica told SNSD and the company fairly early on about her plans. She was starting a fashion line with her boyfriend Tyler Kwon, and seemed to convince them all well enough that she'd be able to balance all her duties. Something changed, and caused the company (and presumably the girls themselves) that it wasn't actually going to work.

We don't know what led to the other girls deciding that they no longer (trusted?) or supported Jessica's business venture, or if it's even true that they had any say in the matter. It's possible that SM decided that on their own, and SNSD wasn't present in those negotiations. But it's also possible that they were there. Jessica believes that they were. And I believe it's completely possible that it's true.

What I don't believe is that OT8 came to that decision lightly, overnight, and without A LOT of prior discussion. For this to have happened, I would imagine it would've taken a unanimous decision, and that would NOT have been easy to come to. The girls love(d) Jessica. They loved OT9 and knew how IMPORTANT the group being together meant to sones. So the decision to remove Jessica from the group, if indeed made by OT8, had to have been EXTREMELY difficult for them. I imagine there was a lot of crying, a lot of yelling, fighting, and general disagreement.

Their reactions to her forced departure definitely reflect a great deal of pain. They never wanted this to happen. So, why did it? I don't know. But I trust the 8 girls enough to know that if they DID indeed "kick her out," that it must've been for a fucking good reason and not some petty "they're jealous" bullshit. Because we know for a fact that the girls love and support each other doing their own solo things.

And before someone asks, "well why was Jessica's fashion line unacceptable, and not Tiffany's solo career, or Taeyeon's, or anyone else's?" I don't know.

If I had to guess, it'd have something to do with Tyler Kwon, and the business aspect of her brand. I don't think Jessica starting a fashion line was an issue, but I do get the vibe from k-sones and those who maybe have more insight to what went down (like Oniontaker) that they REALLY don't like Tyler Kwon. His business practices are super sketchy, just bad. Didn't Blanc get sued for a like a fuckton of money recently? I've read a lot of twitter threads (translating korean articles and forum discussions) about him and I actively hate him as well. It seems to me he is, at best a completely incompetent businessman, and at worst just out to use Jessica's fame and money for his own benefit.

#anonymous #reply #i hate tyler kwon okay. she's dating an idiot and trusting him with like all of her finances and it's really fucked

[byronicbi]

My chaotic ass just picked up a random book off my shelf and had a bunch of documents and photos spill onto the floor. I bend over to the pick them up and that's when I see it: a photo that violently threw me back to the wildest most uncomfortable night I lived through back in 2016.

STORY TIME:

I used to work for an afterschool program that was predominantly staffed by old farts for the exception of three of us in our 20s. In true capitalist fashion, we were severely understaffed and the director continued to enroll older students because "you younger folks can handle the workload". A load of bullshit, obvs. But anyway, one day we were abuzz with the news that a new hire was coming in, a young one, and naturally I was hype at the prospect of having someone to talk to during down time.

The day the new hire comes in I was lounging at the front desk, taking my 15, and I nearly fell out of the chair. This woman was 6'0. She was thicc. A total dolled-up goth bombshell and a little "!" instantly lit up over my head. She was wearing a Deathly Hollows necklace and that was my plan of attack. We hit it off swimmingly, bonded over similar music and movie tastes, etc.

One Thursday, she bursts into my classroom. Says: "I got us two tickets to see the band I really like".

She was a hardcore groupie. Like a "I've traveled all over the US to catch these guys perform and hangout backstage with them" type of groupie. I said cool. The concert was the next day. A little short notice but I was down to hang out outside of work.

Friday night, she picks me up. In a 2017 Mercedes. Obviously daddy's car, but I didn't question it. I got in the passenger's seat and shit instantly started going downhill. She started talking about high school style drama she was having with other groupies who wanted in this band's pants. I rolled with it, laughed, whatever. Two hours later and we're in the city, she meets up with one of the girls she was just ripping to shreds in the car, hugs and kisses all around, and she treats us all to dinner before the show.

At the pizza joint, these two girls begin talking about how they didn't plan on voting but hoped Donald Trump would win because it was unfair for their families to pay more taxes and because the thought of a woman president gave them nightmares.

I want you all to know that I am a queer brown person. Openly so.

I sat there, LOUDLY sipping my milkshake and rapidly texting one of my friends that this is B A D. SO VERY BAD. They offer me an out. I say no, gonna at least try to make it through the show.

My dumbass, being a flamboyant homosexual, dressed for fashion rather than practicality. It was late October. It was cold. I thought hyperthermia would do me in before the show even began. Sadly, It didn't. When the venue opens and we flash our ID's, the girl I'm with gets her hand stamped with a black X. Horrified, it occurred to me I never asked her age. She says "don't worry about it, I'll wash it off in the bathroom" and I know I need to GTFO pronto. But then there's a commotion. The wave of people push me to a corner of the venue where some guy is sitting down playing the guitar and singing, everyone around me is wearing the "I just creamed my pants" face and my co-worker explains to me that he's the lead singer of the band we're here to see.

I know my taste in men is questionable at best, but he was basic even by my standards. White boy looked like he was two months away from graduating high school.

Fast forward 30 minutes and the opening numbers start taking the stage. We have Imagine Dragons knock-offs, some weird synth-pop funk number with hair big enough to hide his entire face, and some basic alt-rock. Not bad, but okay.

The girls my co-worker was talking shit about show up and she vanishes to hang out with them, leaving me there, at the very font, awkwardly tapping the railing as the show finally began. Just sandwiched between all these thirsty chicks. The temptation to swing by the bar and grab a drink was strong but I had a feeling she wouldn't be suited to drive once this was all over.

Show starts and it wasn't so bad. Some bangers. They had this alt Harry Styles vibe to them with their drum set literally covered in weaved-together flowers. At one point the lead singer does the thing where they kneel in front of someone and sings at them.

Motherfucker had the audacity to kneel in front of me.

Now, I'll admit that the attention was enjoyable. Seeing all these people wildly clamoring at him while he was staring at me in what was definitely done as a bit to piss off everyone there. He held out his hand at one point and I just reached over and give him a high-five before he wandered off again. The chick beside me just stared and shouted "CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY" over the music. I'm still unsure if that was meant to be a threat or not.

Show ends with a rousing cover of Pour Some Sugar on Me and by this point I've slinked towards the back of the venue, dancing with a bottle of water that cost me way too much money. I swing by the bathrooms once it's over, and there are girls standing outside of them popping pills and chasing them with beer. Not even bothering to hide it. I want you all to know that the wildest event I had ever been to prior to this was Comic Con.

My co-worker finds me, says "I want you to meet the guys!"

And that's the story of how I have this photo of me dressed in casual goth wear, linking arms with five other guys who look like they wanted really hard to be 5 Seconds of Summer but edgy, on the night I got asked out by an underage white supremacist who got fired from our job two weeks later for getting into a literal fistfight with the school director.

#I wish I remembered the name of the band. It was something like Badlands or Redlands???? #never heard from her again and i'm thankful for that. #text. #LONG POST #I APOLOGIZE BUT I NEEDED TO SHARE THIS I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT

[jestbee]

Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Seventeen)

Title: Ships that Pass in the Night (Chapter Sixteen)

Tags: Alternate Timeline, AU, Slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers Words: 5k Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to

Author’s Note: So this could be the final chapter. The story is pretty much wrapped up but I'm going to do a final epilogue chapter with a little smut and some general fluffy bits set a little ways in the future, but if that isn't your thing you don't need to read it in order to get the story. It won't have any more like 'plot' points. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for voting for this in the 'Universe Augmentation' Phanfic Award 2017 that it won!!

[AO3 Link]   [Tumblr Masterpost]  

He rings his mum on the way back. He feels more awake than he has done for a while and he still has all of the Charlie stuff in his head which means there are now so many things he needs to do, so many things he needs to face up to that he might not be ready for. The least he can do is keep his promise to call.

"Child," she says, customarily.

"Hi mum."

"You sound like you're outside, are you outside?"

"I'm on my way back from seeing PJ," he says, "I told you I would."

There's a clinking sound on the other end and he can imagine her sat at their kitchen table with a warm mug in her hands. He suddenly has a pang of homesickness he wasn't ready for. At times like these it would be nice to have his mum, to give her a hug and make everything else go away like he had when he was little. But his mum can't fight his battles for him anymore, she can't stand up against the demons in his own head, only he can do that.

"Oh Phil. I'm glad."

He hums into the phone and pauses at the top of the stairs to the underground because he'll lose signal if he goes down.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" She asks. Always so careful, always tiptoeing around the conversation. He hates that she needs to do that.

He sighs, mostly to himself.

"It's… complicated."

"Of course it is. I wouldn't expect you to get mixed up over something that wasn't. I know you have… you feel things strongly, but you're not one for getting worked up over nothing."

He bites his bottom lip because that makes something heavy rise in his throat.

"Thanks mum."

"Are you sure you don't want to come home?"

"No… no I think I need to talk to… well, to Dan."

"Dan."

"Yes."

"I see…" she pauses, just for a second, but he hears it. "Well it's good you have a friend."

"Mum."

She knows better than that. She must. But she's giving him room for denial, which is nice. But also another one of those things he wishes she didn't have to do.

She hums down the phone. "I know love, just… be careful."

"I am."

Be careful he isn't the same. Be careful you don't react the same way. Be careful. Be careful. He's been careful, perhaps too careful given how things have worked out. Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. Like replying to a tweet, or grabbing a coffee, or saying yes to a project. If he doesn't, if he keeps playing it safe and secluded over and over he'll look back and he and Dan will have passed by each other. Like ships that pass in the night he will be merely a story of something that once happened to Phil a long time ago. And Phil isn't sure he wants go settle for that anymore.

"I've got to go," he says, "I…"

"Do what you have to, love."

He says goodbye and finally hangs up. He heads into the underground, shoulders squared and feeling lighter than he has in days. He has hope, buoyant and beautiful hope.

-

The idea comes to him when he's finally checking his emails. There's one from a radio producer at the BBC finalising his booking to appear on the radio show. Dan's radio show.

It isn't ideal, and of course he doesn't expect everything to be fixed at Dan's workplace but it's a first step. A show of willing.

He responds with his confirmation and that's that.

-

The BBC building is all glass. It reflects the sun and the revolving door moves too fast so that he almost gets stuck in it but the lobby is cool and echoing and the visitor badge around his neck makes him feel a little important.

He's amazed that the nerves don't get to him until he's in the lift. He's been riding the adrenaline before this, but it wears out once he follows the girl with the short spiky ponytail down the corridor. They go through a room filled with mismatched sofas and then a sound room with amps he recognises as the live lounge and then they're there. In front of a desk that has hundreds of buttons and dials and lights, engineers in headphones moving them in unison and then--

Dan. On the other side. Head dipped low over his laptop, fringe swinging into his eyes. It takes everything in Phil not to rush through the people, pole vault over the complicated desk, stand amidst the strange array of drawings and posters and celebrity face masks and say-- what?

Something Phil. Think. How has he got this far without knowing what he's going to say?

"Howell," the woman is saying. "Your guest is here."

Dan looks up, slightly confused for a second before their eyes lock. Phil sees the back of his jaw clench, the way his lips purse slightly throwing an annoyed dimple into relief on his cheek.

"Thanks Ros," he says. "I've got it."

Dan comes around the desk. Expertly dodging cables Phil knows he's going to trip on and finally they're face to face. He doesn't look mad, he doesn't look much of anything. His face, the one Phil has grown to know so well, is shockingly blank.

"I didn't think you'd come," Dan says.

"I... " Phil starts, but he still has no idea what to say.

"Come on," Dan says, moving past him but making sure they don't touch. Phil aches. "We've got a half hour, I know where we can get… snacks."

He doesn't say coffee. Phil doesn't get coffee with Dan anymore. That makes him much sadder than it has any right to for something so small.

If he's going to feel this way about anything it should be the way Dan avoids his eyes, or how they walk with a considerable distance between them in the corridors. How everything is different. How much he misses how it used to be. How he doesn't know how to bring up everything that's happened. Where does he even start?

Dan brings them to a vending machine tucked into the corner of a dim grey room, a sofa shoved against a wall and a table with music magazines spread on top of it. There's a coffee machine and a sink but the room looks less polished and modern than the rest of the building.

Dan faces the vending machine and looks at it with a knot in the middle of his brows. His eyes are hard and Phil thinks that the expression is probably for him, rather than the snacks within.

"So… how have you been?"

Dan cocks his head and doesn't meet his eyes. "Fine."

"Good. That's… good.

Phil swallows and feels his tongue thick and cumbersome in his mouth, he can barely speak around how dry his lips feel, how alien the sounds fit behind his teeth.

"I didn't think you'd come," Dan says.

He sounds sad. Phil hates that he sounds sad.

"I… wanted to." it's all he can think to say. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"Now you want to talk?" Dan turns, shifting on his heel until he's facing Phil. He looks mad. "You don't just get to pick and choose when you want to talk to me and when you don't. I deserve better than that."

Phil looks down at his shoes, fighting the urge to run away and escape the conversation. He needs to stay, he needs to get some of this out or it will eat at him.

"I know," he says to his Vans, "You do. I just… I didn't--"

He stops, because despite everything he still doesn't know where to start.

Dan sighs and Phil can hear the frustration in it.

"I spoke to Tyler. And Cat. They told me what they said…"

Phil looks up and Dan is staring at him hard.

"You know it's all bullshit, right? They said some shit to me about you ages ago, when I wouldn't stop going on about you." Dan looks sheepish at this. "It was just some dumb joke about hooking up with you for views and… honestly, it never really crossed my mind afterwards. I forgot they even said it once I actually... I should have told them to fuck off when they said it but it was so ludicrous to me that I would even meet you that I… you know… just forgot."

Phil nods, quick and jerky.

"Okay, yeah, I'm stupid I didn't… I'm not sure I ever really…" he lets his shoulders drop from where they've been drawn up, letting the relief flood through him.

He'd pretty much decided that in light of everything that Dan has said to Charlie, how he defended him to his own detriment, that even if Dan had started out wanting to spend time with him for some sort of popularity gain, his feelings must have changed a little. Despite that, it's still nice to hear Dan say out loud that it wasn't like that at all. And Phil can let himself believe it, for once.

"You were right," he says finally, "I was just scared. I don't think I ever really believed it."

Dan bites his bottom lip, chewing a bit on it, the pink flesh turning white. "Last time we spoke you were convinced. What changed your mind, Phil? Why are you here?"

Phil blows out air, makes space for what comes next in his body, like deflating.

"I think I owe you an explanation. For… well, for everything."

Dan's brows lift a little at that, like he's surprised.

"I know," Phil says, forcing a bit of a laugh overtop of his awkwardness, "I don't… I'm not good at doing that. But I want to be… when it comes to you. With you I want to be better."

Dan nods, just once and then beckons him to follow as he makes his way over to the small, beat up couch. He flops down onto it and Phil follows suit, perching on the opposite cushion, suspended and uncomfortable.

"Take your time," Dan says, with far more patience than he has any right to have at this moment.

Phil shakes his head, he had no idea how Dan is like this, how he isn't screaming at Phil to just get on with it. But there he is, all restrained and not pushing him, sitting, waiting, calm and collected. It makes everything crazily zipping around Phil's chest calm, like a flock of birds haphazardly flapping come to a stop, settling in rows.

"So… PJ showed me… um, the things. On Twitter."

"On Twitter?"

Phil nods a little. "Hm, Ch-charlie. The… stuff he's been saying."

"Oh." Dan's mouth purses a little, going tight at the corners. His nostril flare, just ever so slightly. He doesn't look happy. "I didn't realise you didn't know about that."

"I blocked him ages ago."

Phil puts one hand in the other in his lap, squeezing fingers around his palm. He fidgets, nervously. This is difficult, moreso than he'd thought it would be.

"I… I'm not used to talking about this," he says, "I haven't. Not since…"

Dan reaches over and Phil watches his slide his fingers overtop of his, stilling them where he's squeezing over and over. Phil marvels at him, he has every right to stay mad at him, but here he is offering comfort like he always does.

"You don't have to," he whispers.

"I do," Phil insists, not knowing what to do with all of Dan's wonderful patience. "I do. I... "

Phil shifts, turns in his seat until his body is angled towards Dan's. Dan doesn't move his hand, just slips his fingers between Phil's so that they're holding hands. It's a small thing, but it's enough to ground him.

"I had anxiety issues long before I met him," he starts, "I won't credit him with being the be-all-and-end-all of my issues. He doesn't get to claim that."

Dan swipes his thumb over Phil's knuckles. Phil looks down, stunned by the small gesture against his skin, focussing on that instead of on the way his hand is shaking under Dan's palm.

"But I thought I’d found someone who loved me in spite of those issues," Phil croaks, his voice cracking over the words, caught around something in his throat pushing upwards."I thought… It's so stupid, I thought he realised they were a part of me and loved me anyway. But… that's not… he didn't. It's too much. I can understand why."

"I can't," Dan says, "I can't understand that at all. You are not your issues, Phil, but they are a part of who you are. You don't need to be loved in spite of them, you should be loved because of them, including them, because you feel things deeply doesn't mean you're damaged."

Phil looks up, into Dan's serious, sincere expression and he wants to tell him just how much that means, what it is to have someone like Dan telling him these things. How desperately he wants to believe them but how that tiny voice in his head reminds him that they can't possibly be true, or that Dan means them now but won't once he finally sees… once he knows the full extent.

"I think if I’d had someone say that back then… Or had someone who asked me how I am before going into parties or acknowledging when my head gets loud… things might have ended up differently."

"I wish I'd known you then."

Phil closes his eyes and concentrates on Dan's thumb going back and forth over his hand.

"Me too."

"I did…" Dan says, "A bit. I was… well, I was watching your videos at least."

Phil sighs, a little groan escaping him as he thinks of what Dan must have seen, of how it all went down out there in public. How can Dan be sat here now if he saw everything?

"You…"

"I'd like to hear your side of it," Dan says, guessing what it is that is tormenting him. "I never… there was always more to it."

"There was." Phil's voice is tiny, shoved inside of him in that place where he keeps everything. It's cracking open, like something pressured finally released. "He played my insecurities. He… He knew. I told him what I felt like sometimes and he used that to keep me secluded and in the dark about everything that was going on. He said he was trying to push me, to get me to face up to things, but he just didn’t care."

"He was always so... "

"Public," Phil supplies. "Everything was out in the open, and I was just never… comfortable with that. I want to keep it between us, it was personal, you know? Our relationship. But he was so intent on...parading it everywhere."

"I think we all know why."

Phil nods. "Exactly. He used me, Dan. He put our relationship everywhere so that he could be associated with me. I wasn't even… I didn't have like, loads of subscribers then but… YouTube was different. I knew alot of people, we were friends… Charlie never really fit in with all of that. I think there are some people that just shouldn't be online, like in the public space… he's one of them. But he wanted it so much, more than anything else, and he used me to... to…"

Dan slides a little, shuffling up next to him, pressing their hips together. Their hands are still clasped but he's close now. So close Phil can smell the scent of his cologne.

"I just wanted to keep it private," Phil says again, "I didn't know… I was confused. About like, boys and not being straight and navigating the whole… comment section wanting to know my business. You know? But he… he didn't want that."

"Phil…"

"He wanted me to be different," Phil says, his voice a little thick but he's holding on. The warmth from Dan is helping, the rhythmic back and forth of his thumb on his knuckles and the press of his body against his side. This is comfort. This is what he's needed. It hurts, to let it out, to put forth something he's been keeping hidden for all this time. Fear that he wouldn't be understood. "When I didn't want to go along with it, when I had… bad days He thought I could just snap out of it and when I couldn’t he decided I wasn’t worth it, even if it did mean good things for his channel. In the end… he got what he wanted and then moved on."

"I remember… it was just as I started YouTube," Dan says, "I'd been tweeting you alot by then."

Phil nods. "I know that now. I wish… God I wish it had been different. That I'd have seen that or something. But… there was a lot of other stuff going on. I might have seen it, I like to think I'd have seen it. If... you know, everything else hadn't been happening"

"You split up with him."

"Did I?" Phil asks, "That definitely the way he tells it. He spun the story of the victim, like I’d strung him along and was some pompous stuck up big youtuber that hated everyone. He made out like he was the one that had wanted to keep it quiet, but that I'd wanted to… that I made him put it all out in the open. I can't even remember anymore, whether it was me or him. I like to think I did do it, that I did finally break free… but I don't really know."

Phil runs a hand through his hair, dragged his fingers out from between Dan's and standing up. He paces, back and forth in front of the couch, needing to move, to work of some of the rising shake he can feel. It rattles in his chest, his heart beating, pulse pounding in his ears.

"He honestly made it seem like he was the victim, the things he said… the… it was... " he breath in, quick and hard and he squeezes his eyes shuts because he's starting to panic. He can feel it. He has to do this, he has to push through.

Dan rises to his feet, catches his as he walks by, pulling and tugging until Phil is cradled against his chest. His face buried in Dan's shoulder, Dan's large hand smoothing up and down his back.

He feels pathetic. It's just a breakup, something people go through every day. But he knows that his anxiety means his reacts differently, he's heard people tell him time and time again that his reaction is valid. Because Charlie had essentially fucked with his entire career, his whole life, all of his friends. So many of them believed him, he lost a lot of people. But it's hard for Phil to rationalise that when he's feeling small and silly and like he's overacting even though he can't help the way his breath comes in spurts, all bound up in his lungs, sporadic and laboured.

"It's okay…" he says, low in his ear. "I've got you. I know… I saw… it's okay. It's over."

"It was easier to go along with it," Phil sobs, "because then at least I wouldn’t get hurt. At least then… by then I just wanted it over. I didn't want YouTube or anything. It was a really… a really…"

"Shhh," Dan soothes. He flutters a hand to Phil's cheek, lifting to press their foreheads together. "It's okay."

"It was a bad time. I… didn't come out of it very well."

"You disappeared," Dan says. "For a little while."

Phil reaches out, folds his arms around Dan's waist and pulls him close, liking the nearness of him, the familiar shape of him, when he feels like this. His heartbeat is slowing, a little, bit by bit.

"I wanted to quit completely. Some stuff… happened."

"Do you want to…"

"Yes," Phil insists. "I want to tell you all of it. I don't want anything… all of it. I need you to know."

Dan pauses, runs his thumb across Phil's cheekbone. "Can I kiss you? I want to… but not if you're… I don't want to make it worse."

Phil nods, leans forward, bring their mouths together. It's fleeting, a tiny fluttery thing across Phil's lips. He feels himself reset a little. Dan isn't magic, he can't kiss away Phil's panic attack but it does give Phil something to focus on, and it's reassuring to know that Dan is still here. After all of this, after hearing most of it, he's still here.

"When you're ready," Dan says.

"I just… it was stupid. It sounds a lot worse than it was." He pulls away a little bit, needing space to tell his story. Dan lets him go. "I just had some bad days right after. I tried to stay off Twitter and away from what everyone was saying but… it was harder than I thought it would be. I just… went to bed. Honestly, that's all it was I was just so tired of everything, it felt like the world was too bright and too loud and wherever I went there was just… noise. People attacking me. So I went to bed. For about a week."

Dan nods, clearly a little perplexed.

"I didn't eat," Phil clarifies, "I barely drank water I got… I went to bed but I didn't sleep. I was dehydrated and exhausted and having a kind of extended panic attack. Eventually my parents got too worried and ended up taking me to A & E. I guess I was pretty out of it because they admitted me, just a for a little bit while they gave me some fluids and stuff. I wasn't like… crazy or suicidal or… you know, I was… lucky. But it wasn't… good."

"Phil…" Dan says, reaching for him again before deciding not to. "Sorry. God, I'm so sorry that happened to you… I… it's so stupid but I wish I'd been around to… Have you been… since we… I mean... "

"A bit," Phil nods. He isn't going to lie to Dan now. "But I have… while I was at the hospital they had people I talked to. I learned, some stuff. I'm not always the best at remembering but I have… like PJ and my mum and stuff. They know. So they're good about…"

"Would… Could I…" Dan tips his head a little to the side, "I want to help. I want to be there for you like that."

"You're already really great at it," Phil says, "You don't need to do any more than you already do. I don't want to be like a… full time job for people. I don't want you to be... "

"I want to," Dan says, simply.

Phil just looks at him for a moment, shaking his head. "Where did you come from Dan Howell?"

Dan smiles, a bit, Phil watches it unfolding on his face the way that it does, lighting it up until he's glowing.

"Nowhere special."

Phil can't believe that.

"I was… after the hospital I had all these systems in place to function. They weren't the healthiest and I'm sure the people I talked to there wouldn't have recommended them as they mostly entailed keeping everyone and everything at arm's length but… it meant I could rejoin the world a little bit. I could exist in it anyway. I could make videos and talk to my audience, as long as it was all on my terms, as long as I didn't interact too much."

Phil shrugs a tiny smile of his own appearing. He feels a little lighter, and his heart rate is back to normal. He can feel it all like a weight lifted off his chest, he can breathe again.

"Then you came along. And… I couldn't… I tried. God, I tried. But you were something else, Dan. I couldn't help myself. It just got, messy. Because I didn't… I still don't… know how to deal with all of this like a grown up. I'm not… equipped to deal with how I feel about you."

"And how do you feel about me?" Dan asks.

"Dan…"

"It was real, Phil. I don't care what Charlie says, or what the stupid voice in your head has to say. It was real."

"I know. I was happy."

"Me too. You have no idea how happy I was. Can't we just be happy, Phil? Please?"

He wishes it were that simple. He wishes they could just draw a line under everything and go back to how things were before, but it would never be that easy. It can't be.

"There will always be Twitter, and viewers, and people shipping. I'm never going to want to put it all out there, I'm always going to want to… hide."

Dan shakes his head and for a terrifying moment Phil knows that this is it, this is the moment that Dan walks away. He wouldn't blame him.

"Phil, I'll never fucking Tweet again if that's what you want. You think any of that matters to me more than you do?"

"Don't be absurd."

"Okay, okay. That's extreme… but the sentiment is the same. Phil… I don't want people all up in my business either. If you don't want me to mention you at all, or if as far as the world is concerned we're just best friends, then that's fine with me. I mean, if that was all you actually ever wanted from me, I'd be fine with that too. I just care about you. Alot. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," Phil says, "And I don't want you to have to like, lie. I just… If we were going to… I want to keep it to us."

"I understand that, and I… I never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"I'm probably never going to be okay," Phil warns, "I'll always be… like this."

"Phil," Dan moves towards him, folding his arms around Phil's waist and pulling him close once again. He's been in and out of Dan's space today but he slides his hands up Dan's arms, over the curve of his bicep and on to his shoulders. He feels settled here, safe. "I don't want you to be anyone you're not. I only… I mean, I just hope that you talk to me. Just… I want to be there for you."

"And if it gets too much for you?"

Dan shakes his head. "I promise I'll talk to you too. I'll tell you when I need space, and you tell me when you need help, or you need space too. Can… I don't want to push you. I really want this to work. But I think… it'll probably only work if we actually talk to each other about this stuff. Not talking is what got us in trouble in the first place. Can you do that? Do you think it's… is that okay?"

It's scary. The prospect of staying this open. Of leaving this place and not closing down that piece of him again, not crawling in to his bed and saying goodbye to world, but remaining a part of it. This is what it means, to care for someone the way he does Dan, to let them in, to be vulnerable. Dan's eyes are warm and they don't demand an answer, Phil knows he could step out of Dan's arms right now and Dan would let him go. He doesn't want to.

"It's okay,I can do that." Phil says. "You know… no one has wanted me for me before."

"I do," Dan say.

"Yeah," Phil nods, "I think… I know. I believe it."

He huffs out a laugh, incredulous at himself. He does. He really believes it.

"I want you too," he says to Dan. "Let's just be happy."

"Okay," Dan smiles and leans in, only half way, waiting for Phil. "Let's be happy."

Phil lets the world shift a bit to accommodate the new way of things, feels the himself smile and lean in, meeting him in the middle.

Dan's lips are soft and welcoming. Phil sighs into his mouth and Dan lets his tongue flick out against the join of his lips. He parts to let him in, tipping his head and moving closer, lifting a hand up to the back of Dan's neck, holding him there. He can feel the way Dan's hand presses against the base of his spine, the warmth of his broad palm seeping through his shirt.

There is a vibration on Phil's hip and they part, Dan laughing.

"Shit," he says, "It's my phone."

"Anyone important?"

"Fuck, Phil! The show! We forgot about the show."

Phil's eyes go wide. He'd been so busy baring his soul that he'd forgotten they were there to do the radio show.

"We have to get upstairs, I mean we have time but they're… we have to go now. I'm sorry."

Phil laughs, "That's okay."

"Will you… after the show. Come back to mine?"

Phil nods. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"I'm glad I met you," Dan says, moving toward the door. "You know, finally. It was getting a little ridiculous that we kept nearly-meeting."

Phil follows him out of the door. "I'm glad too," he says, "but… what if we hadn't?"

Dan holds his hand out and Phil doesn't hesitate to take it, slipping his fingers in between Dan's as they walk the halls. He does drop it as they enter the studio, but they share a warm fond look as he does and Phil knows Dan is okay with him wanting to keep it just to them. He won't push Phil past the point that he's comfortable with. He doesn't know if it will always be that way, but it's what he needs for now.

"I wouldn't have let that happen," Dan says as they get ready to go on air, "I'd have met you eventually."

"Yeah?" Phil says, "We wouldn't just have been ships passing in the night forever?"

"Definitely not," Dan says, "It would have happened. At some point."

And somehow, Phil believes him.

#phanfic #phanfic au #phan #dnp #dan and phil #phanfiction #my fics #fanfic #fanfiction #ships that pass in the night

[tinysidestrashcaptain]

What is net neutrality??? I've seen so many conflicting posts and I'm so confused. I'm really sorry if you don't want to answer this, but the way everyone is talking about it scares me, and I don't even know what it really is. It would make me feel slightly better to have it explained my a trusted source. I'm sorry for bothering you about this. Thank you for your time.

HOOOO BOY, let’s see if I can explain this correctly in a way that makes sense. Net Neutrality is the basic principle that prohibits internet service providers like AT&T, Comcast and Verizon from speeding up, slowing down or blocking any content, applications or websites you want to use. Net Neutrality is the way that the internet has always worked.

Net Neutrality means an internet that enables and protects free speech. It means that ISPs should provide us with open networks — and shouldn’t block or discriminate against any applications or content that ride over those networks. Just as your phone company shouldn’t decide who you call and what you say on that call, your ISP shouldn’t interfere with the content you view or post online.

Without Net Neutrality, cable and phone companies could carve the internet into fast and slow lanes. An ISP could slow down its competitors’ content or block political opinions it disagreed with. ISPs could charge extra fees to the few content companies that could afford to pay for preferential treatment — relegating everyone else to a slower tier of service. 

Unlike the open internet that has paved the way for so much innovation and given a platform to people who have historically been shut out, the internet without Net Neutrality would become a closed-down network where cable and phone companies call the shots and decide which websites, content or applications succeed.

This would have an enormous impact. Companies like AT&T, Comcast and Verizon would be able to decide who is heard and who isn’t. They’d be able to block websites or content they don’t like or applications that compete with their own offerings.

The consequences would be particularly devastating for marginalized communities media outlets have misrepresented or failed to serve. People of color, the LGBTQ community, indigenous peoples and religious minorities in the United States rely on the open internet to organize, access economic and educational opportunities, and fight back against systemic discrimination.

Without Net Neutrality, how would activists be able to fight oppression? What would happen to social movements like the Movement for Black Lives? How would the next disruptive technology, business or company emerge if internet service providers only let incumbents succeed?

The open internet allows people of color to tell their own stories and organize for racial and social justice. When activists are able to turn out thousands of people in the streets at a moment’s notice, it’s because ISPs aren’t allowed to block their messages or websites.

The mainstream media have long misrepresented, ignored and harmed people of color. And thanks to systemic racism, economic inequality and runaway media consolidation, people of color own just a handful of broadcast stations. The lack of diverse ownership is a primary reason why the media have gotten away with criminalizing and otherwise stereotyping communities of color.

The open internet allows people of color and other vulnerable communities to bypass traditional media gatekeepers. Without Net Neutrality, ISPs could block speech and prevent dissident voices from speaking freely online. Without Net Neutrality, people of color would lose a vital platform.

And without Net Neutrality, millions of small businesses owned by people of color wouldn’t be able to compete against larger corporations online, which would deepen economic disparities.

Additionally, Net Neutrality is crucial for small business owners, startups and entrepreneurs, who rely on the open internet to launch their businesses, create markets, advertise their products and services, and reach customers. We need the open internet to foster job growth, competition and innovation.

Net Neutrality lowers the barriers of entry by preserving the internet’s fair and level playing field. It’s because of Net Neutrality that small businesses and entrepreneurs have been able to thrive online.

No company should be allowed to interfere with this open marketplace. ISPs are the internet’s gatekeepers, and without Net Neutrality, they would seize every possible opportunity to profit from that gatekeeper position.

Without Net Neutrality, the next Google or Facebook would never get off the ground.

This is why Net Neutrality is so vitally important. There have been some legal precedence set, but FCC Chairman Pai wants to replace the agency’s strong rules with “voluntary” conditions that no ISP would ever comply with. Pai unveiled his plan in a closed-door meeting with industry lobbyists in April 2017 and officially kicked off a proceeding on May 18, 2017, when the FCC voted along party lines to move this proposal​ forward. Since then the agency has been swamped by tens of millions of comments from internet users who want to keep the protections in place. Pai is ignoring the public outcry, and the FCC will vote on his Net Neutrality-killing plan on Dec. 14.

When you see posts from people urging you to care about this, to call your representatives and voice your complaints, this is what we’re talking about. The internet without Net Neutrality is no longer the internet. And once we lose this freedom it is extremely doubtful we’ll ever get it back. The only reason any of this is happening is because big ISP companies have been lobbying and funneling money into defeating Net Neutrality for years. They WANT to own the internet, to monetize it, and it’s bullshit. Can you imagine being an LGBTQ+ teen who uses Tumblr for an outlet, only to find out that access to Tumblr now costs extra each month so you can never use it again without your homophobic parents seeing the charge? 

This is big. It’s going to impact ALL of us. This vote on 12/14/17 is going to change the landscape of the internet. There has been massive outcry, and I’m hoping against hope that the vote gets delayed, but the current FCC Chairman is a former Verizon employee and he’s about as deep in their pockets as you can get, so it’s hard to say how this will end. 

I am afraid. I know many others who are as well. It’s a scary prospect, handing the metaphorical keys of the kingdom to a select few companies and saying “regulate yourselves and be good” when we all know they won’t. I want Net Neutrality. 

I’ve called my representatives, and written. I’ve done everything I can, but since my Congressman and Senator both accepted large sums from ISPs, I doubt my dissent is going to make a bit of difference. I tried. It’s all I could do. If you are living in the US and of legal voting age, you need to be trying, too. You can use any of the info I provided, create a script. If you can’t talk on the phone, use ResistBot. It’s a free service that helps you text and create a fax to your representatives.

Please fight for this. We have three days. Fight hard, make your voices heard. This is so important, I cannot stress this enough. 

[thedeadflag]

Hey, as an ace-hetero person; fuck you. You have no right, no damn right to tell me where I belong. I don't think you understand how isolating it feels to be ace-hetero, and that's not to discount the struggles of those on the LGBTQ spectrum because there's no denying they deal with a hell of a lot, but that does not mean we don't deal with shit too. Being ace-hetero, I've always felt indescribably different from everyone I know.

My hetero friends wouldn't understand and my LGBTQ friends don't want me. It's like being inches away from two sides of a cliff but you can't reach either. And to have people like you, arrogant assholes who overestimate the extent of their knowledge, constantly discredit who I am hurts more than you could imagine.

The LGBTQA+ community isn't for you to decide who belongs and no, accepting ace people wouldn't take away from other issues, because being ace is not an issue and, although i can only speak from my own experience, most ace people just want to be accepted, and when people like you decide we can't be, it fucking sucks.

I’m gonna be nice and not air out your username, since your first message was on anon and the rest weren’t, and you might have genuinely misunderstood my stance on this. I’m also sorry you haven’t had good experiences in getting support.

I’m not sure how you got that I don’t accept or support ace folks, though. I absolutely do, I just use an understanding of power to establish my priorities when it comes to LGBT+ spaces, who is welcomed into them, whose voices should matter, who resources should be directed towards and made more accessible, etc. and that necessarily excludes cishet aro/ace folks because when I have to choose between their inclusion and the more marginalized people their inclusion would exclude, I’m going to stand with the latter. I’m going to support people who need those spaces and resources because they literally do not have anywhere else, whereas people with more power can find some semblance of what they seek elsewhere.

Here’s a bit of what I’ve said in the past

I’m saying that aro/ace folks are, and have always been, part of the community. Anyone who is out of their teens and has been active in meatspace LGBT+ spaces will be able to tell you that.

But my stance is that certain groups of people within the community who wield violent, oppressive power, regardless of their membership, should be removed from spaces and resources whenever possible.

This includes TERFs, white supremacists, cishet folks, among others, but the aforementioned three are pretty easy examples of groups that historically wield violent oppressive power to and within our community.

It’s not that they aren’t LGBT+, necessarily, it’s that they cannot be trusted as a group to not reproduce violence against the most marginalized of us, and we cannot weigh ideals and utopian goals of what we’d wish the community to be like, over the material realities of what the community currently is.

That, IMO, would be like SWERFs who want to abolish sex work and don’t care about the material impact their policies have on real living sex workers right now. Maybe in a fantasy world, a world without sex work could be better, but right now, there are people who need our help, and harm prevention needs to be the top priority. Allowing harmful groups to remain in our spaces, and in control of our resources, will only end up excluding those community members who need support, spaces, and resources the most. Like, any space that is welcoming to TERFs is automatically trans-exclusive, for example. That’s just a fact. Any space with white supremacist leadership would be poc-exclusive. Just a fact.Due to violent groups’ presence and power in the community, they wouldn’t be safe in those spaces and in accessing those resources and for many of them, there is literally nowhere else. Not potentially some places where they can manage to cobble some degree support or resources, even if it’s sometimes not ideal or sometimes isn’t quite enough, like cishet folks can, but literally none.

So, for your example, cishet aro/ace folks are indeed inherently LGBT+. But as a category, they wield too much violent power and oppression to outweigh any gains that could be made of allowing them to remain active in those spaces. Education is not a viable strategy to fixing that(it hasn’t worked for PoC, it hasn’t worked for disabled members, it hasn’t worked for trans members, it hasn’t worked for intersex members, etc.), but working to help develop resources outside of the community that might serve them better is viable and has been effective.

For instance, a lot of sexual support services have gotten material from within the aro/ace community as well as from within the broader LGBT+ community to help expand their services like sex ed, their hotlines, etc. to cover a more diverse population. I fully 100% support this endeavour, and I’m happy to know that gains are being made on aro/ace information and outreach and support in that sector in north america. That way, cis het aro/ace folks could get support, spaces, and resources they need without exerting violent, oppressive power against anyone. It’s a win-win. Just like LGBT+ TERFs being able to contact The Trevor Project is a win-win because that allows them to receive aid without running the risk of encountering anyone they oppress or spreading their oppressive bullshit in our communities.

Worst case scenario when some individual cishet aro/ace folks absolutely, for whatever reason, literally cannot get any aid elsewhere…yeah, cut them some slack. But they should never occupy positions of power. They should not be able to vote on resource allocation. They should never lead educational workshops. I’ve seen too many people wielding violent, oppressive power sneak into those positions of power/authority, and use their influence to shift voting towards outcomes reflective of their oppressive views/perspectives, or disregard certain forms of harassment inside the community, or promote certain harmful views in community events, or facilitate the social ostracism of unwanted outspoken marginalized people who are rocking the boat too much (often trans folks, poc, disabled folks, etc.), so IMO, it’s too dangerous to let them take root like that. They have too much oppressive power to be trusted to take up permanent space. It really isn’t much to ask that they be aware of how dangerous and distressing their presence can be to more vulnerable folks.

I say this as someone who has spent over half my life in and around these spaces, and having overwhelmingly heard similar stories elsewhere. Power is real, it functions in predictable patterns, and it needs to be accounted for when discussing how to run and facilitate our spaces and resources. Spaces and resources where violently oppressive groups are allowed access and to set down roots? Those end up growing toxic and exclusive against those who need help the most. Maybe one day things will be different, but right now? We can’t afford to let violently oppressive people remain in our communities.

I love aro/ace folks. I do. But power is something that has to be acknowledged, especially when it is directly tied to violence against community members. And those who wield violent power and oppress should not be welcome, and should be exiled by any means necessary, regardless of their identity or position

Ultimately, what it comes down to is whether I choose other trans women, or cishet aro/ace folks, and I will always, always chose trans women. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes, so be it I don’t mind. I know I’m not a bad person, and I’m doing what’s right for people like me. I don’t have the luxury of not being realistic about the generally predictable power dynamics in the LGBT+ community. 

My activism is all about harm reduction. Reducing harm is pivotal, and that means finding ways to make communities safer and resources more accessible to everyone, and that includes helping folks understand where they can appropriately take up space.

My top priority when it comes to organizing, shaping, and navigating our communities is to make community more accessible for trans women of all stripes because we’re a demographic with appallingly low community support and accessibility to resources, and that has to change. Trans women need to feel safe.

When communities bring in people with more oppressive, harmful perspectives, it passively and/or actively pushes more marginalized members out. I cannot abide that, and while I will do what I can to help aro/ace folks of all stripes, I cannot pretend that the inclusion is cishet aro/ace folks is not a zero sum issue because it absolutely is, whether people want to accept that or not. It’s a silent choice people are faced with...you can hate me for answering vocally but that doesn’t change that I had to choose, and I choose my people.

I will not be ashamed or feel guilty about prioritizing trans women when no one other than trans women will. I’m not arrogant for doing so or pushing for certain people to not take up space in our communities as a means to keep those spaces safer and more accessible to those who need it more. Because frankly, the most marginalized in the communities do need those spaces the most, and need to be prioritized. Ideally, everyone would have their needs met and would be safe and supported, but that’s not reality. That’s not how it goes down, not locally, and not online, so I need to be realistic. I need to prioritize.

My prioritizes don’t include cishet aro/ace folks when it comes to maintaining and operating in LGBT+ spaces. I trust the aro/ace community and general sexual support services to understandably pick up that slack, which they generally do well with. I want everyone to get the support and resources they need, but when the inclusion of one group virtually always raises obstacles for members of my group to access those spaces, the support they need, and the resources they need, I need to have their backs in that. Maybe that’s ‘ruthless calculus’ as Garrus Vakarian would call it, but like I said, no one else is looking out for trans women except trans women, so I don’t have the luxury of caring about anyone else when my people are put at risk of complete isolation (which can often lead to death for us). 

#intracommunity issues #intracommunity violence #transmisogyny #transphobia #long post #Anons