#inordinately talkative

[seventh-fantasy]

friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc

this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)

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I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.

if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.

in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.

this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.

so, back to confucian frameworks.

a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.

as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.

with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.

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the five relational ties in confucianism:

father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son

ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject

older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members

husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)

friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends

logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.

on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.

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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties

mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).

of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.

we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.

ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)

and that brings us to the next part.

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2) how mlc repurposes these ties

that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.

in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)

given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.

(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)

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it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.

speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.

indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.

it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)

of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.

if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.

in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.

llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.

by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.

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then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhlmeta #lhl #my posts #dihua #can't believe this is how i choose to spend an inordinate amt of my free time 😐😐 being a broken recorder of brainrot 😐 #anw the handful of fanghua moments that have moved me are the ones that are about the unbridgeable gap between them as 长辈小辈 as 徒弟师父 #(me realising lxy telling fdb 这个徒弟我没有白收 actually drives me nuts) #me: a brainrot-level dihua shipper first and foremost. also me: dedicating more of this meta to fanghua than dihua #about how fanghua's relationship is its own unique kind in the story. equally deep as dihua. just in a wholly different way. #dihua are friends and married and familial. but fanghua is family through and through #-> tl;dr of this meta actually #i just have extremely strong feelings about fanghua as a complicated little family unit. #which is independent of “shipping” FOR ME. but for anyone else though you can make anything out of it. #(gotta admit i'm a bit antsy about posting this and is uncertain how it's gonna be read. bc my reading of fanghua is so specific...well) #anyways. obsessed with dihua appropriating the heteronormative rituals <3 #edit: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT DIFANG aaaAAAGHHHHHHHHHH #but. it's true they're very purely friendship-based i think

[made-nondescript]

Hot take yet I think should be said: the whole mindset of "CCs shouldn't see fan content period. No one say anything or run" has played a hand in bdubs being surprised at how much we love them. Some people are so frightened of letting CCs know that they consume their content, that they try and silence other fans.

HUGE agree!!

I absolutely understand where people are coming from with the whole "scatter!!" mentality because I for one am a little embarrassed about just how much time I spend thinking about and creating fan content for minecraft youtubers, but I think we have to remember that these people literally live and breath their content. Like, it's really really hard for us to be more invested in their content than they are. Don't believe me? Check out this Doc tweet:

Dude is being called out in his real life for being absent minded because he's thinking about Hermitcraft. Like, me too king!

It's insulting to suggest being enthusiastic or invested in their work is somehow cringe-worthy or shameful because it implies they are cringe-worthy or shameful for making it, and I think shame is where a lot of the "scatter!!" mentality comes from. Because people have been conditioned to be ashamed of being not just fans but especially MCYT fans in particular.

But it's unfair - to ourselves and to the hermits - to let this dictate how we interact with CC's. They, least of all, are about to point and laugh at us for being inspired by or passionate about their work. Creativity begets creativity. It's motivating to know that you are inspiring others with what you do. That is what's fulfilling about art.

This is not to say that all fan content is for the eyes of CC's, nor should it be. Boundaries need to be in place, obviously. But I would say that boundaries which obscure us completely suck!!

#nondescript ask #Anonymous #hermitcraft #i have a lot of thoughts on this. it's something i'm inordinately passionate about. #and i spent a lot of time trying to get this readable for you all. i hope it is! #i just think. that to me the most beautiful thing about fan spaces is how much love there is #for the thing everyone is connected by. so much love and affection and thought #and i think it's a great disservice to hide that love and passion and effort from the world #rarely should you ever be embarrased for loving something #i dont know!! its just so free to be kind guys #its so free to engage with others and tell them how much they inspire you #its also late so im kind of sappy sorry but not really #anyway thank you for the ask this is a really interesting subject i think i could talk forever about how marred #fandom communities are by cringe culture (previous and current) #ALSO THE OG POST HAS LIKE 500 NOTES? so scary....wth..... #anyway #slay the day besties

[luckycharms1701]

SHAKING YOU. YOU ARE NOT STUPID. HOW DARE YOU. (ILY BE NICE TO MY FRIEND)

*is shaken*

thank you anon-chan!!! this is very sweet! 💖

unfortunately i do have my dumbass moments. like when i left the office this morning without the supplies i needed to do my job. or when i went to put gas in my work truck without turning the pump on. or when i got a cat while being very much a dog person.

i like to think it’s charming like mikey 😊

#talking tag #it’s probably not charming at all but sam lets me have my delusions on occasion #i spent an inordinate amount of time looking for a gif of mikey shaking donnie in the man vs sewer episode but couldn’t find one 😭 #i have come to appreciate and even enjoy being stupid

[muzzleroars]

I would like to hear about the fraud apartment, please.

HAPPILY although overall this is truly just. me giving them a (sort of?) domestic life to play around with. as some groundwork, i gave my ideas about fraud in this ask, but as a quick description i see it as the densest neighborhood in dis, with bizarre, layered architecture that has mostly given way to ruin. it's incomprehensible to look at, with aesthetics unknown and unwelcome to humanity twisted even further beyond recognition, and the deep ditches that run through it contain multitudes of decay and lost husks that could never find their way back out...and may not particularly want to. so it's. bad. yet they come to settle here for a couple of reasons, and do what they can to make a "home" out of it.

after gabriel is resurrected as a fallen angel and v1 meets him once more in the frozen wastes of treachery, the two of them travel together to explore what's left of hell and slowly make their way down. initially they rest where they can, though treachery proves to mostly be too frigid for both of them so they go to various upper layers in search of comfort. it wears on them, with gabriel eventually beginning to yearn for a home, for stability, for SOMETHING that he can come back to like he once had in heaven (even if it can be nothing like it in any other way) and surprisingly....he finds that v1 is in desperate need of a "base", a similarly familiar place to establish a little nest. so they immediately agree to finding at least something workable, but gabriel, as an angel of treachery, is drawn continuously to that layer. since it's not viable, they settle on finding something in fraud as it's close to his layer plus it...has buildings? architecture of some sort? it's not nearly as comfortable as a place like limbo or lust, but it causes little issue for gabe and v1 doesn't mind the absolutely atrocious sight of it lol

they settle high in the skyline of fraud, something that would difficult for any roving husks or demons to reach from the bolgias below. it needs a lot of attention and major patchwork done, the two of them spending plenty of time just repairing structural damage. it's difficult for gabriel at first, the deplorable apartment being so far from the estate he had in heaven, with the reality of his situation becoming shockingly apparent: he can never go back, he will never have the comfort and beauty he has been accustomed to for millennia ever again...he won't have his bedroom, his possessions, his home, or all the angels that had lived around and with him. it's keenest in those first nights, where the apartment is still half open to hell's groaning winds and they're sharing some rotten, makeshift bed. he doesn't sleep much and v1 knows he's losing steam, but he doesn't wish to burden it so he rarely says anything about it, if at all. maybe he needs to accept this is a place to rest, not really a home. maybe he needs to accept he doesn't have that anymore.

but as all the worst holes are patched up and they get a full ceiling over their heads, v1 leaves one day only to come back with all the junk from its previous nest. gabriel's absolutely bewildered by the grotesque mix of machine, husk, and demon parts, demanding to know WHY it's dumped trash all over an already disgusting floor, but he quickly learns these are v1's....things. its stuff. it sets to work building shelves for everything so it can have a nice "tidy" display and gabriel stands there watching quietly, the absurdity striking him in just the right way. it's a ghoulish collection fitting right in with the apartment itself, but this is v1 making the space its own, "decorating" it, if it could be called that. so. why doesn't he? it's a miserable place, but he's sharing it with v1, it's a place that could truly be his well beyond what his curated home in heaven had been. and for v1...this is its first feeling of "home" it's ever had. it doesn't have anything to compare it to, nor does it really think of this place in terms of "ugly" or "strange". it's a place that it can have, a place it might stay in for a long time now, and a place that it will share, and build, and change when it likes. that's a novel feeling, and while gabriel manages his expectations, v1 is excitedly experiencing its first feeling of comfort and security in its living space.

so gabriel follows its lead, though he scours hell for the comfortable and the aesthetic, for whatever he might find beautiful in a place so desolate. it creates a rather eclectic living space and he knows in some places he attempts a poor, likely unrecognizable copy of something he had in heaven, but as time passes he finds he has a place he wants to come back to. maybe its his own aesthetic sense degrading as his halo falls away, but this place is also unmistakably theirs. he's found art to decorate the walls, brought in instruments he's fixed up to play again, and he's gotten a nice fireplace going in their bedroom. v1 has a workbench beside its collection, found ways to rig up some electric lights (which can be any color it wants), and it's even acquired some hell mass...plants? they're not sure what to call them, but they fit into pots and are too small to be any true demon, so v1 claims they're "succulents". and together they've amassed enough books that they both really doubt they'll be able to finish them all in whatever time they have left. so they read, the make music, they talk, they sleep, they even cook now that gabriel feels hungry occasionally...they just live together, side-by-side, in what must seem to anyone else's senses a wretched place. but it becomes home for them, the first one v1 has ever had, and it really stops mattering that it's in just about the deepest pit of hell

#me: there's not much to it #also me: talks for an INORDINATE amount of time yet again #it's just a domestic au!!! that's it!!!! #but it really is v1's first experience of 'home' #it finally gets to feel the security and comfort it provides #and it starts to express 'i want to go home' when it's too hurt or too tired #which makes me ummmmm emotional!! #cake answers #v1 #gabriel #fallen gabriel #rise and fall au

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

frothing at the mouth because of a minor issue that will be resolved in approximately 10.5 hours

#they should let me sign up for classes right now right now like right now if i have to take social psych in person i will hurt someone #i need to be able to get in before the class fills up but they haven’t given me the green light yet and i have to fucking talk to people to #do that which is a horrible flaw imo i think everything in the world should be able to be done without me having to meet with someone #who ultimately does nothing for me all they need to do is say yes and press some buttons and until they do that i have to suffer #feeling increasingly and inordinately upset abt this actually

[megaerakles]

Au where the Batfam gets the “glowing numbers that indicate their kill counts” over their heads and everyone is freaking out cause at least Tim’s and Dick’s are way higher than anyone expected, Class’s is greater than thr one she knows about so she’s really distraught, and Damian, raised assassin Damian, is somehow the lowest

And then eventually someone squashed a spider and their number goes up and they figure out that it’s the number of spiders they’ve killed and Damian ALWAYS insists on doing the “cup and paper release back to the outside world” method

#this one goes out to Rev who has given me fond memories of spending an inordinate amount of time catching spiders in glasses and taking them #outside of dorms and apartments to avoid killing then #to be clear I don’t kill them all that often but I tend to take a ‘you stay on the ceiling I stay down here’ approach #and leave them be #and also my old anthropology prof who will forever haunt me with the words #‘I’m thinking that being alive as a human means deciding which kinds of death are acceptable’ #after we were talking about killing insects

[soupy-harry]

Francis in the Navy (1955)

#francis in the navy #francis the talking mule #1955 #50s #clint eastwood #b/w #photo #my post #martha hyer #david janssen #animals #mules #on set #david o'connor #1950s talking animals bring me an inordinate amount of comfort so that's what got me through this entire movie last year 👍

[morgana-pendragon]

i am so extra pissed off now bc i went out with my mom but it’s our week to stay at my dad’s and y’all know about my laptop and her issues so i left her there bc she was already plugged in and like not losing charge or anything and i was in the middle of one of the spotify gifsets and i assumed i would just be back soon enough and every plan i had for getting back before 9 pm went to SHIT and now my dad is like all the way asleep and won’t be carrying me back to his (i cannot stress enough that it is less than a two minute walk from where i am now.) so now i just have to. cope with that i guess

#not that i want him to drive sleepy i def don’t but i just want it known that he is not far #and i know this isn’t an actual problem but as i try to understand my brain more i’ve realised that #when i explicitly plan something out in my brain and it doesn’t go that way i get inordinately upset. and i am now #even though i definitely prefer to sleep at my house my THINGS are there. and my laptop does Not have a lock on it. not that anyone there #is going to go on it or anything. i just feel insecure having it somewhere i’m not when it has no lock #UGH and i’ve literally been thinking about it all week like i should put a fucking lock on it. and yet #anyway i just wanted to complain a little bit. how were your nights <3 #stop talking abbie

[ottiliere]

do you think dirks apartment would be bare or cluttered

This ask reminds me of the tags on this post specifically because... so true. not enough people are brave enough to make him as weird and gross as he is.

I mean, looking at his actual room is like...

it's not "that bad". right. this is a teenager's room. but it's noticably a little messy? and of course a lot of this can be attributed to the fact that he wasn't raised by anybody and is therefore very pragmatic about his environment (e.g., why would I make the bed if I'm just going to mess it back up later?) (IMO a lot of this could be said for Roxy as well, like... her room is equally as cluttered...these kids have no PARENTS to come in and tell them to clean up after themselves).

Overall I think he would be a clean person & very meticulous in, like, only certain respects... he's the type to have a very high tolerance to very certain types of messes. his "organized chaos" except it's even weirder than the generally understood concept of that. certain types of actual garbage do not phase him while others he needs to get rid of immediately and it doesn't make sense to anybody but him. I'd imagine it's largely a sensory experience for him, or at least that would be his basis for what bothers him and what doesn't.. it isn't like he's lazy or idle or anything liek that, he's just got a specific vision of what his environment does and doesn't benefit from.

I imagine he categorizes taking care of himself like this too but with the added concern of like...if for some reason he might be seen or otherwise encountered by someone meaningful to him, that would be a concern. i think any iteration of him has this feeling of pretending to be human in one way or another, somehow in my mind that is very linked to the physical practices of personal grooming and presentation.

#dirk strider #opining #ask #sighs. i wish we could've seen the rest of his canon apartment #i think the answer to this question is very much variable upon which dirk we're talking about #the latter self-presentation point is mildly discordant with my view of hospital dirk who i genuinely think is so averse to Society that #this concept implodes. he wears really shitty oversized clothes with many holes because hes POOR #while also spending inordinate amounts of money on ugly ass chains #because he thinks it's funny. i've mentioned this before in the dirk schedule post. he is swagless #i think a canon dirk or more ''normal'' nosburb dirk would be a bit more neurotic about his appearance #and how he presents himself to the public/others. even though im firmly of the belief that his fashion sense is quite poor #because. again..no formal irl influences he's teaching himself how to dress and nobody is checking him and telling him he looks terrible #hospital dirk #because tags #*public slash others. my god never use slashes in your tags i guess #obligatory disclaimer that these are just thoights. like i don't view this as THIS IS THE ONLY DIRK #i also enjoy dirks who are very clean about their surroundings in a neurotic way. i think they are awesome #''cluttered'' is just usually what my brain defaults to for him #like. genuinely i adore seeing dirk meticulously upkeep everything that is an extension of him. it just depends on the dirk #that's what's fun about character hcs I guess. usually I am not set in my ways like some people are just objectively WRONG about certain #things but for the most part I'll see other interpretations and be like aw yeah I can see that

[bunnyhopkins]

CURSE THIS MORTAL FORM I WISH TO WRITE

#I want to write so bad but I am 'tired' as my doctor calls it #(I have been up for an inordinate amount of time) #but also I have my best ideas when I'm sleep deprived........ #mutuals who understand what this means: ​i am completely reworking my housewife au...... like a fool #BUT I HAVE BETTER MOTIVATIONS NOW #for them I mean #I spent six months studying fucked up dynamics in a different fandom to come back and use it for this #I want to talk abt it in the discord but like I haven't spoken in so long 👉🏼👈🏼 #so I'm just chasing my own tail and trying to get myself to write!!! #bunny speaks #bunny vents #(gently)

[wolves-etc]

Father Brown S5E15, The Penitent Man

#I'm fine actually. fine and normal and pausing twenty different times to take screenshots of this scene #father brown is such a live slug reaction here I burst out laughing when I realised #he's not disapproving his face is just like that I swear #though the face he makes when flambeau starts talking is pretty fun #father brown #hercule flambeau #the penitent man #again if anyone from the fandom finds this my apologies?? at least being inordinately interested in flambeau seems to be the norm #I'm ace but that man is Compelling and it is a problem #smoking cw #cigarette cw #orig #the mortifying ordeal of writing image descriptions for things you're frankly a bit weird about #''but wolves you don't have to go into detail'' shhhhhh <3 #I can't promise there won't be more of this (also can't promise there will be) so filter the fandom tag if it bothers you pls

[crowreys-wormstache]

John Gaius 🤝 Lord Ruler Rashek

Fucking up a planet for the greater good

#what is it about men obtaining inordinate amounts of power #and destroing everything in their wake with it #as they try to make things better #the locked tomb #mistborn #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #the final empire #the well of ascension #the hero of ages #tamsyn muir #brandon sanderson #cosmere #jess talks

[herawell]

.

#just now realized I have such a specific yearning for the parent-in-law and the widowed child-in-law dynamic #it’s stuck with me ever since I read the Ruth & Naomi story in some school textbook #even though I was raised without religion #Something about a relationship that is set up to be antithetical by society’s standards #and then in the aftermath of a tragedy should logically splinter #Instead becomes stronger #And they bond over the one whom they loved (or maybe in spite of them) #it’s why I also love the Radha and Thakur relationship from sholay an inordinate amount #And responsible for one of my OCs #Charvi #she is the wife of suratha #Dushala’s son who died after the war out of fear of Arjuna coming #Canonically dushala becomes regent for her grandson #I invented charvi out of frustration with his presumable mother being fridged #But I added her initially being at odds with her strong-willed kaurava mother-in-law #because she is much shyer and retiring #But in the aftermath of his death #They come together to raise their son/grandson and rule the kingdom #alia talks

[fuinjustsu]

nanoputian - the dancing molecule!

#our zoology teacher is actually so nice #but he's ... more interested in chemistry than zoology lol #it's fine he's very overqualified #whenever he gives us a 5 minute break or so to copy down notes from his ppt or wtv he always starts talking about chem #and then our chemistry teacher is so inordinately happy when we take an interest in the subject #teachers!!!! mine are so nice

[patchesjam]

i have stopped watching nearly all commentary channels that do stuff on dream - not because i can’t take criticism of my interest (i can't though) but because i realise how much stuff they miss out and how inaccurate they are

#that 2 hour one? missed out on at least 2 of his public apologies #none of them talk about the inordinate amount of homophobia he faces

[1ore]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit out of the blue, but can I ask what programs/brushes you use? I've been trying to learn how to paint digitally, but it often feels so sterile, and I really struggle with it. I envy how well you are able to achieve a traditional look with digital tools, and would love to learn your secret.

I'd love to see a tutorial/process video by you too honestly, but that's more just wishful thinking - I know you probably have a lot going on.

Cheers, either way! (And wish me luck)

oh my god. I went and did all that organizing and almost forgot to let you know! I put together a tag containing all of my resources/materials/art process stuff. It also has every timelapse video I've done. Each video has process rambling + lists of brushes / materials used in their YT descriptions.

I have a hard time talking about my process like I'm any kind of authority, but I tried to think about it a little and share whatever i've found helpful, answer questions I've been asked in the past or struggled with myself, etc.

Re: emulating traditional media specifically:

ok, first of all. Disclaimer: it's not all about the tools.

but if you're a hack like me it sure feels that way!!!!

When I moved from Photoshop to Clip Studio Paint, a big growing pain for me was finding real media tools that felt good to use. It's pretty obvious in the art I made during that time. Both the tools that ship with the program and the tools made by the community felt like they for completely different styles/workflows than mine. It was a struggle to adjust, and I'm still feeling it-- I don't feel like I have *my* sketch brush, or *my* workhorse painting brush. I miss my brick shithouse lineart every day ):

BUT. but. I've found some keepers along the way. Even the ones that aren't perfect analogs are still pretty great at what they're meant to do. If you're thinking about using Photoshop or Clip Studio Paint, then I can share those toolsets-- I list a few of them in my 'about', and I talk about them in more detail on those timelapse vids. I'm very picky about how my tools handle so they're probably not for everyone, but maybe you'll find something that makes digital art a little more bearable in there.

There's also a lot to be said for the little things, like slapping a paper texture on that bad boy and calling it a day. Even just applying textures to the canvas before you draw does a lot to make the drawing experience feel like it has... idk... warmth, dynamism. Tooth. It's cozier in there when I can see the paper. Admittedly it's been so long since I last looked at my sketchbook that the harsh fluorescent lights of the blank canvas no longer faze me, but it's still good for the eyes and the soul.

Other tools/programs:

Apart from the stuff I use(d) in my main workflow, I've also played with some other programs that are specifically geared towards emulating traditional media.

Realistic Paint Studio - Reasonably priced real media art program that has a decently beginner-friendly interface. This is probably the one program that came with brushes I genuinely liked, right out of the box. They feel good to use + the engine does a pretty nice job of emulating wet media in particular.

Some draws:

^^^ This was a style emulation of the wonderful Fiachmara's art, and also a gift to her, featuring her character Gealach. Didn't originally intend on sharing this publicly, but I think it illustrates this program's knack for inks.

It can also do most of the digital art cheats that I need to do in Clip-- it has analogs for the selection tool, layers, clipping masks, etc. It does not have a brush editor, so you need to be sure that you like the brushes it ships with. I also find that none of the brushes scale up large enough to accommodate absurdly large canvases (5000x5000px+ ) so you'll be stuck working at... well... normal canvas sizes. (Gealach above was about 2000 px wide before resizing-- pretty reasonable LOL)

My only real complaint is you can't export your art without the canvas texture applied to it. One time the textures bugged out on me, and I couldn't get them to fix themselves (you can see the carnage here, RIP.) I've been scared that it'll do that again to me someday, but it's been completely stable apart from this one random flub.

And hey, it's got an Actually Good Pencil Brush, so. There's that.

Rebelle 5 - hoo boy this is big $$$$$, but the brush engine in this one is just. bonkers yonkers cool for emulating real media, especially oil, acrylic, and watercolor. (I'm admittedly lukewarm on its charcoal and pencil brushes. You can create your own brushes, but there's not a huge community that's into making custom brushes yet.)

It's a mighty little art program as far as I can tell. Has most of the bells and whistles Clip does, which is a lot of things that programs like Realistic generally won't have, but are kinda necessary if you want to get into the weeds with like... Advanced Digital Art Skullduggery. (things like gradient maps and tools for ripping lineart from scanned drawings. I think that's honestly it, as far as things I do in clip that are clip-exclusive.)

Doodles:

Rebelle asks you to think like a traditional artist when you're using its tools, particularly its watercolors. Ironically, I Do Not Like This! I want to have my cake (real media tools) and eat it too (dont want to use my brain). But I think it might appeal to you for bringing some of the process into the digital space. If nothing else, it's novel to watch the paint dry.

(thats a real mechanic in rebelle)

((its fantastic, but I am allergic to it (see point one) (((dont want to use my brain ): )))))

if you play with the demo and find that it scratches that real media itch for you, might be worth reaching out for a student discount or something like that. They have educator licenses and student licenses and generally seem like a pretty accommodating lot.

Another disclaimer: these are just the tools that I've played with recently and have used enough times to talk about. There's lots of other stuff out there that I've tried but didn't like, and it could very well be that I didn't like them for the same reasons that you'll love them. There's a ton of really good free/open source programs in particular that I feel like I would be using if I didn't already have my workspace carved out. Krita and MyPaint stick out in my mind. (MyPaint was my main program for a Long time in highschool. come remember my baby art with me. )

ok its 3 am I need to close this out:

I'm tapping my other disclaimer again. Tools are not the end-all-be-all of making digital art that emulates traditional media. Pieces like No Dominion and this pic of Dia and co. required some actual neurons to fire when I was figuring out how to tackle them. But for me, finding the right tools and creating the right workspace for myself was a stupidly big part of getting comfortable with digital art. I have to take care of the little QOL things like that before I can even begin to worry about the big things OTL

#uncaptioned #my brain is a scrambled egg. if I reread this in the morning and it doesnt make any fucking sense: sorry!!!!!!!! #but THANK YOU for reaching out I hope something in there catches your interest. #I talked an inordinate amount about tools because I talk more about process stuff in the tag above + on those vids #and i hadnt really talked about how weirdly important it was for me to have these cheap gimmicks to make art look Good #before i could worry about the bigger things like studying the blade #really anything that lowers the barriers to Having Fun is vitally important to me #1ore doesn't want to use her art blog