#is it JUST bc hes fast??? is that why this is happening?

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Oh no, now you've got me thinking about cheetah peppino. I know it technically doesn't fit the body type or whatever, but just the anxiety and the speed feels so perfect. Maybe leopard/jaguar with cheetah tendencies? Or just fat cheetah idk.

I am like FLABBERGASTED at how many people have suggested cheetah for his sona 😭😭😭 I am definitely not someone who cares about ‘technicalities’ wrt to furries and fursonas. Cheetah WOULD fit with how I already interpret peppino (the common person assuming that someone fat would be unable to run and fight the way pep does/this fat cheetah CLEARLY would be unable to do what a ‘normal’ cheetah does).

A fat cheetah is soooo cute. But i must confess. I do not know how to draw them right 😭 I generally draw fat and/or buff furries. So ive never been put in a position to try and make something typically very skinny, fat 😭 I will make an attempt to sketch out multiple ppls suggestions but i am Not settling on that 😭

#answered #// #/// #//// #///// #peppino #is it JUST bc hes fast??? is that why this is happening? #i know the anxiety thing about cheetahs but i dont THINK its common knowledge 🤔 #anyway #have you SEEN a crocodile gallop????? it is SCARY #i want him to be the equivalent of a 4 ton truck barreling through at mach speed #like if u saw this beast running at u youd assumed you get erased from existence #hmm #*puts moose and bison on the list*

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending #and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens #so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that #they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta #lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly #minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her #god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her #like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard #i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now #it speaks #twdg #i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying

[crimsonlovebartylus]

regulus would also be told by jehova witnesses to go to a jesus christ website to find out why he died on his work phone line.

and he would awkwardly say, i'm ok and barty would not be able to stop laughing and calling him a sinner baby.

#THIS GENUINELY JUST HAPPENED TO ME? I ANSWER A CALLED AND WAS TRYING TO MAKE THEM AN APPOINTMENT AND THAN IN THE END THEY TOLD ME TO GO TO #THIS WEBSITE TO FIND OUT WHY JESUS CHRIST DIED #and i stood quiet in the line for a second stunned and went in a very fast awkward tone: i'm okay #LIKE HUH? #regulus black #barty crouch jr #bartylus #anyways barty would make fun of him bc he takes devil dick aka his dick #harry potter #the marauders #marauders

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #ladies... its lovesickness on the menu again tn NDNNDNDNDMDMDNDMDMDMDM #god help me #i made it like 29 years without this. why now NFNDNDNNDNDNDNDMD #like ok im happy to be experiencing this in the sense that like... now ik what it feels like to really like someone #but man oh man is it... A Lot #and like maybe its this intense at any age. but idk..... it feels like So Much..... #and im freaking out bc i talk to my mom about it ok. and shes like oh ya that reminds me of how i felt with ur dad in the beginning n im #just... like ... o #bc my parents were like friends first and are like in Love love and have a v happy marriage so im just #the... Potential of having that n like oh god idk. i just dont know its all too much...... #and im also like what if its all in my head. but then again like why is he waiting around for me n messaging me out of the blue. #i also caught him staring at me n looking away after i caught him. i just..... idk like i wanna Believe so bad but im so scared too........ #im all over the place JDJDDMDMDMDMDMDMDNJDND #but i also am just..... i'll be patient .... bc rushing is no good #like idk. i feel like things have been Moving. and its not super fast but its a pace i can handle #bc ok say i Do ask him out or he asks me.... then oh fuck. then all the Scary things happen. like ok not scary #i dint think itd be scary with him #but idk.... physical... things. would start happening n like. id l9ve to hold his hand n like k___ him ok OK. but at the same time i just.. #idk !!!!!!! im v shy !!!!!@@@@@ and ya. ....... idk 😭😭😭 #like i like him so much that i think id want him to .... i just .. ya idk. #getting kind of ahead of myself here but what else is new

[sovonight]

guilty as charged

#im not gonna be able to explain why this happened organically in the span of 3 hours but au where gorion managed to #get baby radri shelter in evereska so she grew up there and met xan and went through a friends to lovers thing but his intense self doubt #led to him pushing her away so harshly that she didn't seek him out again except for later on the eve of his acceptance of the moonblade #bc there was a chance he wouldn't survive and she still cared about him deep down & couldn't just let it go without seeing him 1 more time #and xan had thought he'd completely burned that bridge with her and was relieved to see her and still loves her but she doesn't stay #and he never sees her during their shared time in evereska again #fast forward to decades later when radri's started on her journey and stumbles upon a certain captive in the nashkel mines #radri's so over it by now she frees & ignores him but xan's like WAIT let me offer you my services as a wizard!! and she's like 😒 #but there's room in the party and more spells would be useful so she takes him along. and thus begins xan's mission to protect her bc he #owes her that much and maybe he still desperately loves her and radri's mission to completely get over xan #so yeah i made uh *counts pages* 7 comic pages of script/doodles for the progression through these events #instead of spending that time drawing something that i could actually post OTL

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I can't believe it's been a week without Little Man... When he first came home he was so happy and excited. He would play for two to three hours straight. He loved his food time but then he would go back to playing, with naps in between before his regular nighttime sleep.

Seeing him decline from that to never playing, always starving and wanting food because of his illness (the poor thing had no fat at all to keep him warm by the end...) and otherwise just sleeping really hurt. It hurt even more to see him after a deworming process want to play. He was attentive and alert, and when he heard his toys he would look with wide eyes like he wanted to play, but he was in too much pain to be able to.

During the deworming we had to keep him separated from my other cat, so he was in another room and we visited him throughout the day (and night) repeatedly and spent long periods of time with him. At night that room would get a bit cold because of its size, and sometimes I'd go in there and it was cold and I was worried he was also feeling cold... but recently I realized he really probably was because he had no fat to retain his body heat. I'm so glad I put a little blanket over him on his bed and tried my best to keep him warm. I would keep my door open so the heat could get out and keep coming back on or just stay on so it would heat up the room he was in.

His real name was Cumulus because my mom named him after that type of cloud, but I started to call him Little Man and it stuck. He knew that was what I called him, too! He started to respond after a little while!

By the end he could barely eat or even meow because it hurt to move his mouth. His jaw must have been deteriorating, and we were told his gums looked terrible. When he did eat, he could only eat wet food and even that was hard. We would hear a hard crunching sound when he ate wet food, so I'm pretty certain something was very wrong with his jaw. That was why he was always so hungry at the end - he couldn't eat enough to sustain himself.

We only had him for two months but he was so happy, sweet and precious before that illness really started to kick in. It's hard losing a cat, but it's even harder losing a five month old kitten who had so many years of life left to live. He was so sweet and playful that I can't believe how fast his illness destroyed his body from the inside out. He was bright and loving and he didn't deserve what happened to him.

Frankly, I do put some blame on the guy who sold him to us. He claims to be a rescue operation and that's fine, but he knew the mother was sick and didn't make it, yet he didn't think to check for dangerous illnesses on this cat or his sister who was adopted at the same exact day and time as he was? When we adopted him, we've now realized he was showing at least three signs of his illness already (breathing speed, heat/temperature and wobbly eyes that he often couldn't keep still). He had other issues so we didn't know what was wrong until the day the vet did an ultrasound and said he wasn't going to make it to a year old even with medication.

Imo the guy who runs that business should know the signs of illness in a cat. If you work in that profession you should know what to look out for - especially if the mother was sick before giving birth. As the shelter, it's his responsibility to know the signs and take care of health issues before adopting out. His negligence and lack of knowledge/awareness cost my family a lot of heartache and many vet bills of us just trying to find the problem. If you're working in a field with animals and adopting them out to others as a business, for the love of fuck, know all the details involved in your profession. I understand he rescues cats from kill shelters which is wonderful, but he takes in sick cats as well but then somehow doesn't notice the signs of them or their offspring being ill? It makes me think he didn't interact with them enough to notice, so again - negligence. If anyone knew what the kitten had, they might have been able to save him by medicating him before any damage could truly be done to him. Unfortunately the medication is not yet legal and is essentially on the black market and can cost thousands of dollars that we couldn't afford, but god I would've started a fundraiser to save his life if we had known. This sweetheart did not deserve the pain and suffering he went through.

I'm sad and I'm angry at this man's lack of awareness. If you're going to adopt out cats, know that you're adopting out a sick cat or potentially sick cat so you can inform and warn the adopters. "I never would've sold you a sick cat if I had known" isn't going to cut it. You should know if that's your business. That knowledge could've saved this kitten's life, or even just helped him to get on medicine to make his last months painless.

I miss you, Little Man. I love you so much. I hope we gave you the best life you could've possibly had in the time that you had. I hope all the craziness and play and love was just how you would've always lived your life. You were too sweet and you should've never had to be taken from us that young.

#DCB Comments #tw: cat death #It all just happened REALLY fast bc we'd taken him to the vet to find out why he couldn't eat/wasn't eating well #they saw him and didn't like how he looked so they did an ultrasound at that appt #he was acting fine earlier that day in the morning. he got up when he saw me in the kitchen and walked over to me like usual #suddenly hours later he was gone. we had to put him down and like... it's not like we had time to process it #we didn't know he was dying literally until that appt. I had some serious concerns leading up to that point #and was even saying I hope it was nothing fatal... but we truly didn't expect to hear that he was #actually dying from a fatal illness that he couldn't be saved from. it had progressed far very quickly #he had other problems at the same time which is why it was so difficult for us and the vet to figure out what was wrong #we didn't expect to hear that or have to do that at that vet visit but if we took him back home #he would've kept suffering bc we couldn't afford any kind of treatment for his pain #he still would've been dying the whole time he just wouldn't be suffering or as much from it #and learning that just unexpectedly at that appt when that's not what it was for made it a lot worse #I know a couple of my mutuals knew him a little bit through me so I hope you guys loved him too #long post

[albaricomics]

how did you got interest in dhmis? did you start at the tv show? or way back at the web series? what is the first episode you watched?

Ooooohhh this one's a very interesting one, also the question I feared the most HADBHSDJ

I knew about the show since 2014 but I just knew it existed, saw some memes but didn't really get em, and whenever I said I wanted to give the show a try, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE told me NOT to, bc "omg it's so scary it traumatized me I can't sleep since I watched it", and I mean back then I was in my creepypasta phase so I wasn't like going to get scared that much but the pressure was inmense I ended up not watching it ):

Years went by, kept watching ocassional memes, but last year on september when I opened Twitter I saw SO MUCH content of them, fanarts were all over my home page, so I asked my brother if he knew anything about it, turned out he had already seen both the web series and tv show and said THERE'S NO WAY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS SHOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT

And the rest is history...

#He played the web series #creativity being the first episode... #After those 3 minutes my mind blew up #It all made sense now: the memes and the dancing yellow guy and the sketchbook ruining a painting and the disturbing sequences JUST WOW #Also I immediately recognized Tony and remembered all those Tumblr drawing with a handsome looking blue guy with a weird red mustache #I had a headache after watching the web series trying to understand wtf did I watched and why did I like it sm #Also I loved every single song I've never saved a Spotify playlist so fast before #We had like 2 hour discussions in between episodes to figure out all the messages and criticisms to real life situations #After watching everything my fav episodes were the love and friendship episodes #On the last episode I was clapping on the ending bc I kinda saw it coming but when it happened I was like YESSS CLIFFHANGER BRILLIANT #I'm never getting over this fandom #dhmis #asks #dhmis asks #albaricomics

[brothersonahotelbed]

im so fucking embarrassed im going to have to hobble into work tomorrow and tell them i sprained my ankle tripping off a CURB and won't be in for a few days and it's going to ruin everything for both me and my coworkers i hate it here

#the only reason why they started hiring library pages is bc No One enjoys putting all the books away #cause the carts full of returned items get full so fucking fast and luckily im there to keep things moving and get items back on shelves #but if i cant do that then some of my coworkers are gonna have to take over till im better and im legitimately scared they're going to #hate me #I KNOW IT'S CHILDISH OKAY. but they used to have to shelve AND help patrons until i came around and the wont be happy about shelving again #plus tomorrow in the morning me and my coworkers are meeting with the library director to say hi and introduce ourselves and i was hoping #he would see how good of a job im doing and offer me more hours #but if im fucking hobbling in there like a pathetic freak???? WELL THAT DOESNT LOOK TOO GOOD DOES IT #GODDDDDD WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IM MISERABLE OVER THE STATE OF THINGS RIGHT NOW #a sprained anke's really nothing severe but im just embarrassed and angry with myself for being careless and jeopardizing my job. whatever. #loquitur

[captainhongjoong]

disclaimer before i say this i know it’s none of my business and i don’t know them etc but

yukwon was with his gf for ten years, they had plans to get married after his enlistment, so he enlisted and came back and a few months later (~a year and a half ago now) they broke up and now she’s getting married and pregnant. bro

#she’s 35 now i think also #again it’s not my business. but i wanna know why #it’s just so wild like we were all so invested in their relationship she was like the 8th bb member bc she was always there lmao #and it was so unheard of back then like he was The guy who had a gf #it just all happened so fast and i hope they’re both happy etc. but /i’m/ sad

[bangcakes]

.

#in the past i would have given up but now im like #oh right if i want something..... i gotta go for it and make it happen HDJDJDJDJDJDJ #itd be easier to give up tho LOL. god.... #idk im just................ what if like. nothing even happens n i spejt all this time liking him like that would SUCK. hhhhhhhhh #i should just see if him n my ither friend wanna hang out but im ANXIOUS ABOUT ASKING #BC. GOD. the longer i dont see someone the more im like.... oh they probably didnt even like me that much JDJDJDJD #like this even happens with ppl ive been friends with for 15 years like i am just THAT insecure???? #maybe not insecure.... idk. i think i just.... dont wanna get hurt so i tell myself that ppl dont actually like me. but thats like so dumb. #bc thats like... borrowing grief from the future right????? and like hhhhh god #idk i just like. sometimes its better to have 0 expectations or hopes?????? #idk romance has never worked out for me b4 so why would it this time #tho to be fair this is the first time ive actually like wanted stuff to keep happening. #prev guys ive been like oh god oh no this is so fast #and its like. just them wanting to talk constantly #but now i have this guy that i talk to like. every 1 to 2 weeks LOL GOD #im trying to hang in there #i think its just that its passed 2am #idk idk #im just.............!!!! #and like what if bc im not moving fast enough.... he moves on JDJJDKDKDKDKDMDMMDMD #but then its like.... ok it wasnt meant to be then....?????? #god this is so JDJDJJDJDJDJD #be careful what u wish for bc like. i said i always wanted a friends first slow burn and LMAO....... #hhhh n e way #im also like maybe i jynxed this whole thing by talking about it too much 😭😭😭 #ugh whatever... im so JDJFJFJDMDMMD #personal

[phillipsgraves]

because i love them already, where was magdalena during the outlast events? 😭

she definitely didn't arrive until way later (thinking maybe after miles had tried opening the gates before getting jumped) where she saw his car parked outside and cussed him out spiritually for beating her there (because friendly rivalry)

they meet... sort of in the middle and then they get separated again just before the big chase that leads miles to trager. they stick pretty close after that and they take down the morphogenic engine together (but miles still gets possessed bc honestly pretty sexy of him) and then they bounce because the walrider knows not to mess with her too 🙈

#just replayed a bit of outlast so its still fresh in my mind #which is why this ones more detailed #and also just bc so much happens so fast LMFAO #mags when shes gone for an hour and suddenly he has 8 fingers left like boy what did you do now #asks #sstewyhosseini #oc: magdalena andrade

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭 #this is dumb. like i have a lotta steps to go bc i can even consider this a possibility but i met with one of the ppl #im talking to for a phd. hes from a big impressive uni and his research is so fucking cool #and he thinks my cv is competitive for scholarship and he wants to support me as a student #so 🥺 #i did not sleep much. i was having stress dreams plus i was a lil dehydrated lol #and i was watching a talk he did over and over until i got why he was so excited about it. bc it was real fucking cool once i got it #and we talked for like 80min abt our interests and potential projects. and now i have to take some time and start a proposal #bc im gonna do at least 2 scholarships and the deadlines are happening pretty fast. so rip my free time #but like it could potentially include genetic engineering and adaptive evolution so like so so cool #i mean its a lil risky bc he is only just establishing his lab. so its not like hes had a bunch of students but i think at this point #even if hes not so hands on i can probably drive myself forward #we'll see what happens. it would be super fucking cool to do some genetic engineering nonsense. and fucking adaptive evolution #ugh and get to live in the uk again 😭 i miss the gray english skies #so yea thats 2 potential projects im really invested in now #so like. it depends on if i can get the scholarship. which will be intensely competitive #so idk. we'll see. and ive got a meeting with another guy monday #but its the dude from Arizona and i dont wanna live there so im hopefully the project isnt as cool... but i think it kinda is so rip #ugh. its been a wild day. im so tired. #but happy. but also sad i wont have as much free time for drawing #but again happy bc im gonna learn and up my writing skills and chase my weird wild dreams :-) #unrelated

[trollbreak]

Man I gotta get like. Any of my plots going so I can rant abt the details of it.

#like mev all but helpless while she recovered bc doc was taking away her arms due to the violence? because Dari’s fucked up magic blood #hurts when it makes her body heal Far Too Fast?? and then when she’s got nothing else to lash out with she’s all snarls and snapping teeth?? #cattra laying on her chest and her getting some half decent rest in??? very promptly getting so attached to her??? the wild panicked look in #her eyes when she’s still half asleep and realizes that doc is carting her off to clean her injuries again and that she’s never kind about #it when she does?? the walls of this stoic woman completely crumbling when there’s no other choice #and peipre hunched in a chair beside marrow as he rests and she’s gripping the armrests so hard her knuckles are white because she’s sure #this was her fault. he got hurt and she found him bleeding and half conscious after she stayed behind again and he almost died. and when dex #makes it into the room she pulls herself together and gives him the kindest rundown she can in the most professional way because it’s all #she’s got to hold herself together in the moment. and he’s just as worried as she is so she’s not going to worry him more with her whole #deal. and when she’s sure dex is going to stay she goes home and calls yarrow off work early and just lays in her lap for hours and refuses #to talk about it. #and sweets hardly resting for several weeks and outright refusing to get unplugged because he Has to be able to keep an eye on things she #Has to make sure that if something happens she can do something this time and he’s so much quieter than usual and when he finally does take #a weekend off again she sleeps so fucking hard with cattra and then feels bad for sleeping through so much of their time #and the whole. thing. that’s jouren’s got going on with mawris right now. they scare the hell out of him and he couldn’t tell you why. but. #if you asked. he would call them his friend. he couldn’t tell you why on that either. he spends so little time with them but there’s this #urge to return lately that. isn’t quite the call of whatever is going on with the mushrooms he’s pretty sure. he’s baking a lot about it. #um #character rambles #:P #I like rotating angst in my brain

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Might just pass the fuck out actually

#it has not been a good day. the first thing i had to do today went badly and i’m not looking forward to doing the second thing #and it’s hot and my house feels like a soup and my knee is acting up so i’m essentially walking like i don’t even know what #i was going to say frankenstein’s monster but i don’t even know if he has a limp #i wish the lecture i have tonight wasn’t the FIRST one in the course. if i’d already done a couple i feel like it’d be more acceptable #for me to email the lecturer or the guidance person or somebody and be like ‘hey chief i had an absolute disaster this morning. #is it okay if i take a personal day to cry into chinese food and try to drown myself in the bath? i’ll watch the lecture tomorrow & recap’ #but i haven’t established a reputation for showing up & being competent yet #ugh and i looked on the website and the cohort is exactly 8 people which… idk what i was expecting but why must it be small #if i get asked to introduce myself i’m just going to cry on camera #god i bet i do get asked. that’s going to be fucking horrible #‘i’m ellen; i don’t work anywhere because i left my first shift at my new job in tears today bc i almost fainted because my knee decided to #give out; i know enough html and css to know that this course is going to kick my ass. i’m also learning python #because my friend roped me into it. also sorry that i’m eating right now but i decided there was no way i was getting through this class #without ordering fried rice. i don’t know why i’m here. nice to meet you i guess’ #i’m so hungry but i don’t want to eat anything because i want to order food. but also. do i have the mental fortitude to talk to someone #on the phone. but i don’t have the mental fortitude to cook either…… it’s a big problem #ultimately cooking would be physically harder but i would also get my food sooner. calling them would be mentally harder and i would get my #food later. ohhhhh god and i just remembered this other takeaway place that opens at 4:30 (💖) but they’re CLOSED ON MONDAYS #i guess there’s also the chinese place in the village. AND their prawn toast is better. and they open earlier and deliver super fast. 🧐 #i might just order beef fried rice from them and whatever happens to me happens to me. (i have a beef intolerance lol #but they cook their chicken in a way that makes it really chewy. it won’t make me sick or anything; never has before; but it’s not the vibe. #it’s chinese food cooked by english people. that’s the problem. the prawn toast is good though) #anyway! for personal reasons i will be passing out #personal