#it feels nice to know i've improved

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

When He Calls...

#even if i'm still learning #it feels nice to know i've improved #critical role #critical role fanart #cr fanart #cr2 #the mighty nein #mighty nein #yasha nydoorin #the stormlord #i should probably stop procrasinating on my assignments now shouldn't i?

[tswwwit]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but i recently reread the entire familiar au (its as amazing as always!) and its so impressive to see how far you have come as a writer especially compared to the new cult au its honestly pretty inspiring

Thank you! It's truly nice to hear that I've made progress. I mean, obviously - hopefully - I would have after all this time, but sometimes the improvement is hard to see when you're so close to it.

#answers #I've been tempted at times to just take down some of my really old stuff #Because I am very 😬 when I reread it #But I think it stands as a nice relic/testament to how I've grown as a writer #In that I only roll around in agony about 90% of the time reading current writing now as opposed 575% with the old stuff #It feels like I don't know what I'm doing at any given time #But presumably I've learned SOMETHING #And my writing is not The Worst™ #Funny how the baseline changes as skill changes because it's hard to remember sometimes that yes #Skill has improved!! #I say as I stare at this document with severe doubts and worry and agony #Nothing like looking at a 5k doc and going 'yeah this is only halfway to the end at BEST' #There is so much more yet to complete #Also super nice to hear that the cult thing is good to read #It's got a lot more visuals than my usual so I'm pushing my comfort zone #I am Not A Visual Person so that takes some Effort #All of these tags have been very navelgazing so here's a fun fact #If *I* can get better at writing by doing it for a long time #YOU can do it TOO and BETTER #It just takes - again - a lot of writing to get there

[nichiperi]

happy birthday to meeee~ ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

#i have a lot of schmoopy feelings about this year #it started off as one the worst times of my life #but then somehow it morphed into the absolute best #i have a lot of appreciation and joy that i feel for a lot of people now that i feel like i can't adequately express #but i guess the point is i'm actually excited for the future for the first time in years #and i feel like i wouldn't have stumbled down this path if it hadn't been for the encouragement i got from people when i really needed it #i've been really inspired to work at improving my art and to be more open about it #i tried a lot of new things #not just artistically but in general #i'm happy i'm here! and i intend to keep being here and to keep making things that bring me joy. #weird weird things. i intend to get weirder and weirder hehehe. hope y'all are prepared! >:D #so to anyone who said anything nice about my art and writing since i've been here #i know it sounds schmaltzy but the stuff you said meant more than you know. thank you for letting me know you saw me.

[eggwishing]

little redraw of this guay

#critters #my best friend lallagie dragon #one of my favorite dragon designs ever the people at jellycat know what theyre doin i love all of their dragons so much #i have 3 ... ehehe #actually kinda nice doing this because . i actually see that i've improved #so much of the time i feel like my art is stagnating

[arsonist-chicken]

I think my university should pay me for emotional damages for having to write a thesis exposé. To the amount of whatever I need to go on a short trip to Helsinki to recharge from this bs and to get a tattoo and a coffin full of Fazer chocolates.

#i've been in the library since 6pm or so and have not gotten a single letter done #because i genuinely Do Not Know what to write about this #i don't WANT to write a thesis; having to write a thesis will be my last straw to a break-down if that terminography seminar doesn't do it #and i don't get the point of a thesis anyway. no one but me and my advisor and maybe two examinors will read it #i'll not bring forth any important new knowledge to use #even if i did magically discover some groundbreaking new way to teach second languages - which is not the focus of my paper #like i wanted because the head of institute said no - it would still mean nothing because no one's gonna read it anyway #i'm literally just some rando with subpar grades and papers and motivation and dedication to my studies except for the classes i like #and feel like i'm actually learning something important #which is another point: I'm studying translation and interpreting. I'll do a final translation exam in both language directions. #why is that not enough for a degree? it's literally what I study. i couldn't give less of a shit about scientific theories about translatio #yes you should hear about them sometime and it can be useful. but i don't give a single fuck about research etc. #i want to translate and subtitle and maybe at some point interpret. and add a second language besides english because well #the job market but also very importantly my own interests #can't take the swedish course because it interferes with another class; can take a ukrainian class but it's very low-level #can't take a polish or bosnian or serbian or croatian class because they only have higher levels right now #could take a chinese or japanese class but it's... a lecture? with 40+ people in it? how are you supposed to learn a language from a lectur #tried a portuguese class once but the teacher was absolutely awful. nice but so bad at teaching. #and every now and then i think maybe i should learn how to teach a language to someone because oh my GOD would i love to help people #coming here to learn german in ways they'll actually use and see them improve and help them be excited about learning! #or go somewhere else and teach german maybe while also learning the language of the country i'm in #and i thought maybe writing a thesis about second language acquisition and teaching would be a nice way to find out how interested #i am in that actually. but no. my topic now is... hold on. hmmm. #man i'M not even sure. i submitted something and my advisor wrote me an email with a different suggestion for the title #and idk what i'm supposed to write about. not saying the depression isn't playing a role too but damn am i not excited about this #which is. a great start to writing a thesis when 90% of your work ethic comes from being excited about something or interested init #'The preparation of translation-oriented language competence at school using the example of English lessons at Austrian High Schools' #ah yes. someone help me write an exposé about that. #i don't know how and what to include and I don't want to either #come onnnnnn two days ago being at the library helped at least a little bit but now i've been here 3+ hours and i've got nothing

[diaryofamadsunwukongfan]

Sage Ayana

Race: Human

Nationality: Atlas (Areia colony)

Ethnicity: Mixed Vacun & Mistrali

Weapon: Pilgrim

Gender: Man

Sexuality: Aromantic pansexual

Starting Age: 17

Birthday: Spring 1st

Aura Color: Green

Handedness: Right

Complexion: Dark brown

Eye Color: Red

Semblance: Remedy (Every time Sage's Aura shield takes damage, Sage's semblance converts the damage into a secondary Aura reserve called Mood. Sage can use his Mood to heal his body or to recharge his Aura shields immediately, which looks like green leaves wrapping around his body.)

Occupation: Haven student, Junior Detective, Boy band drummer

Previous Occuppation: Sanctum Regional Tournament player (2nd place ten times)

"And the winner is, Sage Ayana of Areia city!" the host announced to the crowd. The hundreds of people in the crowd went wild. Hundreds of them chanting, screaming, Sage's name. He could reasonably assume that almost everyone from his home was watching, cheering for him too. It wasn't good enough.

Sage headed to the locker room. He sat down and began checking his weapon for damages, even though last match only lasted about 7 minutes. That was when she came in. "Good afternoon, Sage Ayana."

Quiet.

"Good afternoon, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage said back to the armored redhead. "It seems we will be going up against each other in the finals again." Pyrrha stated.

Silence.

Pyrrha started again, "How many times have we faced each other like this?"

"Ten times, in a row. I lost every single match."

"Don't sell yourself so short! It's an accomplishment to make it to the finals consistently."

"Stop." Sage commanded.

Pause.

"... Pyrrha," Sage looked her in the eyes for the first time she entered the room, "you know what it's like for people like us. We don't represent ourselves, we represent our towns. And each time I lose here... forget it. I shouldn't have said that." Sage then turned his back again.

Pyrrha walked in front of Sage. "I apologize if my skill in combat has upset you," Pyrrha said, "but being the best comes with a price."

"That's easy for you to say-"

"It's not!" Pyrrha shouted. "... I know Areia is... unfavorably compared to Argus by Atlesians. But know that I, nor anyone else in Argus, view your city that way. We are equals. And it is an honor to earn second place as many times as you did even if you don't see it that way, friend." Pyrrha then reached out her hand to Sage.

For a moment, Sage considered taking her hand. Forgetting about his duties, his discipline, his fidelity to his parent's teachings of strength.

"We are not friends, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage stared her in the eye.

"... very well then, Sage Ayana. Eternal rivals, then." Pyrrha sadly stated.

"...ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the finale!!!" The host screamed so loud it could be heard inside the locker room.

Sage and Pyrrha got up and walked to the door, waiting for it to automatically open.

"May the best fighter win" Pyrrha hummed.

"I won't lose this time." Sage stated to her.

"You have said that ten times before." Pyrrha coldly stated back.

For a moment, Sage's mouth turned into a frown, but he corrected his face. He must always correct himself, always strive to be perfect... still not good enough.

#woohoo #yeah baby this is what I've been waiting for!!! #rwde #rwby fix it fic #rwby rewrite #rwby redesign #sage ayana #my boy is a real character now!!! #also oof #I had to work overtime to make sure neither Sage nor Pyrrha look too bad during their argument #like Pyrrha is just living her best life and trying to help someone she sees is struggling #but shes not a pushover either #and Sage knows he's in his feelings which is why he tries to avoid the conversation all togather and be nice regardless #but back to my soft redesign #Red eyes suit Sage better than the gold ones and it matches him with Scarlet/Pyrrha #I changed his arm thingy to be a dark cyan for Neptune #so now Sage has all of his teamates colors because without him team SSSN would fall apart #he's like #their daddy figure #;) #anyway if I ever try to do something like this again know that the palms will be light #making Sage's lips look the way dark skin peoples lips look irl dramatically improved this design #if you white take notes #but yeah I had fun!

[cinna-bunnie]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can really relate to not having a hard line between the kind of relationship/attraction/affection that is platonic vs romantic vs sexual. The distinction is always just a little confusing to me. It's really nice to see other peoples thoughts on it

idr when this ask came in in the middle of everything but yeah i rly don't have a hard line between all that. it's pretty nice (❁´◡`❁) realizing they were all just different facets of the same love rly changed the way i love and connect with ppl for the better.

#polyamorous win: you have improved ALL of your relationships and become comfortable with yourself #😹 i haven't even been dating much too I've been focused on my friends and myself ♡⁠ i did not expect its impacts to be so broad #it like... fundamentally shifted the way i view human connection. i like finding out this late I'm on the ace spectrum too like 0: oh! #now i know why i think or act in these ways (❁´◡`❁) ♡ ⁠and what it is that i like exactly and am wanting. how i feel etc #a wonderful level of clarity for myself.. anyways I'm rambling ૮ – ﻌ–ა saw this ask when it came in and kept it bc it was nice ♡⁠ #in the leadup to figuring out I'm ace i felt like i was losing my mind 💀 my way of loving friends feels comparatively odd too #so the validation was nice (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡ thank you for relating

[grahamdollton]

#my peculiar wife #i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder) #then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters #at least yesterday wasn't a total bust #and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages #i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have #these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks..... #i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel #can't go wrong there......... #the man kept calling me sir #sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven #so that's nice #with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment #because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it #and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness #where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might #might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc #i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience #feels like i'm directly endangering it #my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of #my peculiar wife james spader #just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long #long time #and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......

[raiiny-bay]

my favorite posts of the year :-)

links to full posts below the cut:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12

#ts4 #simblr #idk how to tag this so i'm just?? tagging???? something? #i was going to comment about how much red there is here but then i realized. kel. hair. red. lmao #story posts were excluded but just know kel/ick getting knocked tf out is absolutely one of my favorite things i've ever made #the top 3 are in order #the rest are just kinda randomly thrown around #surely no one is surprised by number 1 #it is in fact my phone's home screen #a good bit of these are actually from the first half of the year which is surprising to me #usually i stop liking/being impressed by my own edits after like. a week lol #no. 6 i think is the oldest on the list. it's from january & i still rlly like it #it's one of the rare ones that turned out exactly how i wanted it to #honestly i would have added my most recent mb edit to the list BUT #it's still pretty fresh so it might just be newness bias that is making me like it so i'm leaving it off #overall tho i feel like it was a really good year edit-wise. my skills definitely improved a lot so that's neat #i think for next year i might like to try photo sets again or like... more nicely edited story posts #assuming i.......... actually work on some story posts lmao

[esaari]

happy pride my lovelies 🏳️‍🌈 might draw an oc for the occasion ... maybe

#ramblings #if you have a suggestion feel freeeee tooooo let me know #last year i drew gabe .. i could always do a redraw of sorts to see if i've improved hmmmmmmmmmmmmm #that sounds kinda nice tbh #also life update retail keeps killing me with these 8 hour days #my body is falling apart... pains everywhere. i had to go to bed super early because it was too much lol #but anyway well rested i even cleaned today depression WHO???? #also im planning to make a new oc #a demon to be exact..... #because i talked about creeds bastards now i want to make one #and once again if anyone ever wants to create a character that is creeds bastard feel free #i think that would be hilarious #yehhhee well anyway hope everyone is having a pleasant weekend #im sorry i am so absent but yknow. work and exhaustion and all that

[vaulties]

i was talking to my bf yesterday about my dog's littermates, and saying that while they're now going through a difficult phase petra has already had her difficult phase and now she's the perfect dog. and he was teasing me about it, saying i'm biased, etc. but i said she's the perfect dog for me, and that's all that matters. she doesn't have to be the perfect dog for anyone else.

she's the most stubborn and pernickety creature i've ever met. she follows me everywhere, to the point where my parents call her my shadow. she is demanding and bouncy and her favourite place to sit is inevitably on your shoulder. but she's so funny, so sweet, so loving. in the morning she will burrow under the blankets and curl up against my chest; after a walk in the rain i wrap her in a fleece and she falls asleep. she is sharp and clever, and so so fast. people ask me (on her good days) if i trained her myself or if a professional did, and i have the joy of responding that it was me, alone, and yes, she is my first dog, and yes, a working cocker spaniel was a bold choice for one.

i have cried over her, tears of frustration and fear that i'd do the wrong thing, that i'd ruin such a perfect innocent animal, that i'd blot the canvas. people do. but she taught me that these things have to come one step at a time, that some circumstances are out of our control and that better days will soon arrive. she has shown me how to enjoy the world again, in a way i had long forgotten, for it is hard not to appreciate the fresh air and crisp wind when she dances at the mere prospect of tasting it. she is hasty, and impulsive, and somehow always muddy, but to me she is utterly perfect, in the imperfect way we all are. perfection is not clear glass; rather, it is a mismatched mosaic of everything that makes us.

my dog is beautifully and perfectly flawed. just like us all.

#personal #it's nice bc like. i feel so constantly insecure about my tiniest faults and like i have to constantly be working towards self-improvement #and this undefined goal of being someone somehow supportive yet assertive who knows their boundaries but never talks about themselves etc #(ty instagram psychologists you have ruined us all) #but like. sometimes my friends talk about one thing for too long and it's a little bit boring and u know i love them anyway #so why do i assume they wouldn't grant me the same understanding #anyway. my dog is a pain in the ass sometimes but she's my pain in the ass n i love her and she's really good for me #i have dropped off most social media but it's because i'm happier than i've been in many years #things aren't perfect but they're real nice and i am enjoying it

[linguenuvolose]

I miss doing my language learning updates </3

#stopped during my thesis because god knows there wasn't mental space for that #I mean what's stopping me from ricominciare? #it's even monday nothing is stopping me #idk I've also been having a lot of thought about language learning and langblr and academia recently #like if I'm being honest I don't think I'll continue working on Dutch regularly after my exam in 2 weeks #I feel confident enough in my French that I can use it when needed and consume content in it without much problem #and like... I'm fluent in Italian it's not a language I'm learning anymore and haven't been for quite a while #so like even if I would track them it's like what is the point of this? I'm not really aiming at improving anything at this point #but I am a fan of tracking and evaluating so we'll see #snicksnack #it was such a nice time when we were a lil gang doing them each week

[babisawyer]

paramount+ has given up on me suddenly so I've only been able to watch a tiny bit of scream 6 so far.

#🐇 #it's better than five at this point it could still go downhill though #I enjoyed the opening scene with samara weaving but I feel like it dragged on for too long #and I actually really enjoyed jason as a potential ghostface BUT that scene also dragged on a little too long #jason is sort of what I've been wanting from this franchise just some guy who is obsessed with the movies and becomes a ghostface killer #he forgets that sidney is real and that these are real stories and not just a slasher series #him listening to the last podcast on the left and ice nine kills also tells me he's the worst guy I've never met so I loved those details #lmfao like that was a very specific and pointed character design detail I wouldn't have expected #I also appreciate that sam has become a villain publicly just because she's a girl lmfao very relatable #I've only just gotten to the frat party so I haven't seen much but I appreciate them showing the different ways the group is dealing with #trauma I'm kinda surprised that they're bothering covering it. before sidney was really the only one allowed to have trauma #it's better but still not great. the dialogue has improved but it's still cheesy in a way I don't think was intended #like the therapy session with sam was kinda cringe when I think it could've felt way more important #also I've only known quinn for .5 seconds but as a baby faced skankola I appreciate the representation it's very nice to see #yeah. that's it so far. the app still isn't working god bless who knows if I'll ever finish

[astrxealis]

i miss the times back in shadowbringers. don’t get me wrong i love how things are in endwalker but there was just ?? something so magical about shb to me ???

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚ #just being afk with my fc mates or in the shb places and man. man. #going through enw msq is amazing! 6.0 made me so incredibly emotional and i owe a lot to it for helping me get thru my uh... despair #and the patches really feed into those brainrotting parts of me head. and the new content is super cool and ohh the stories of the side stuf #but i still prefer the fantasy of shb compared to enw. and the rest of ffxiv tbh. and the whole of ff. it is just so yeah to me ??? #and. and. it was just SUCH an experience and everything about it means so much to me! #ffxiv has helped me with anxiety and social anxiety and issues like depression and it. helped me make friends again and even now #i make friends because of ffxiv and some people i have met because of this game mean so much to me and it brings my other friends together #too and the story is just everything to me and ffxiv just. yeah #social life kinda dipped a bit b4 i got so absorbed into ffxiv and sometimes i see that summer of 2021 as unhealthy but also?? #it wasn't like i had friends at that time eitherway bcs i fell out w my irls and then online friends so. ffxiv really really helped #and then i reconnected w my irls and then wow. the world is so beautiful and so silly with the way it brings people together! #sorry this kinda turned into tmi but also wow i should make a proper text or sorts as an appreciation to ffxiv bcs i've been meaning to #for a long time now. i want to write a text and then a story (both! they are different to me) and then a video. yeah #and i want to do all this before 7.0 :) which is pretty soon tbh... in a year or two or so? wow #these next years will be very important for my future so idk if i'll be active w ffxiv but i really want to be! #so i'll improve myself and my schedule and all that i do ^___^ #idk man ffxiv just really helped me a lot and i feel bad a bit for feeling so much at times but #it really helps knowing i'm not alone. and those much older than me also feel the same! it's really nice #a central theme of ffxiv (endwalker in particular) is that you aren't alone and that shit really hits man. i think everyone should #try to experience ffxiv's story but people also have different preferences and all and that's fine but #i hope i can find people who are like me frfr! and keep those who are close to me <3 hehe

[zemnarihah]

i've been having. gender issues i must say

#i think like in a different and much more progressive world i would like almost certainly id as nonbinary in some way but like #idk i do think i have dysphoria esp w my chest lately but i don't think it's to the level that my life would be improved by like #going by different pronouns and coming out w a different gender label and stuff #bc it's just so incredibly inconvenient and like especially in my area ppl would either not take me serious or like be straight up hateful #i also think i'm not like. NOT a woman like i've lived as a woman my whole life i don't think i'll ever see myself as like divorced from tha #but it's just. still not quite right yk #like i feel pretty uncomfortable w most traditional femininity but i feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable w almost all masculinity so it's like. #idk #not cis or trans but another secret third thing yk #i mean at the end of the day there's not rlly any point in doing anything abt it and i think i have had lapses like this before and have had #times where i think i was fairly comfortable w being a woman and w my body (relatively) so maybe it's just smth that will come and go u know #i just wish i was like 50% more androgynous looking and like. didn't have tits. and could go by a pronoun that like isn't she/he or they #but is also very normal and commonly understood that nobody will be weird or confused abt #so. idk #like now that i think abt it there's no pronoun that i actually feel good abt ppl using for me. but i think that might also be bc i feel #uncomfortable w the idea of people even talking abt me at all #i think i'm starting to understand people who use it/it's lol #i mean before i never liked judged them or anything like i always use peoples correct pronouns but i was always like huh idk why someone #would want that #and now i like. see the appeal. kind of divorced from gender and identity in general. it's nice

[acesammy]

the feminine urge to delete all of my art and never look back

#like #obviously i wouldnt #but idk i'm just #sick of it #like i love doing it but i dont see improvement and i need to just move on with my life bc i'm never gonna get good #logically i know that i should just keep doing it #if i want to get better #and i do #so much #but i'm just frustrated #and i feel like i've been backsliding #and i hate. it. #idk #i'm once again sliding back into the 'wow i wish i just. weren't me' depression #havent had a classic tumblr vent post™ in years #so here we go #non fandom #i'm sorry #sometimes it's just nice to scream into the void