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wallypollyanna · 4 years

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Waltz De Chocobo

Moxiety, background logince, hurt/comfort, soulmate au

The basic idea of soulmates was a common mystery to scientists, one that was often studied.

There had yet to be a reason, or theory as to how they worked. No soundwaves, no emission, nothing explained how a person a there soulmate can hear the same music.

All that, however, didn't really matter to Patton Hart. He didn't need to know why and how he and his soulmate were connected, just that they were!

And he knew his soulmate was out there, because it was really common for him to hear soft music coming from no where.

A good chunk of the time, it's loud, hard music that's right up in his face.

(Roman labeled it "pg-13" music, and told him that his soulmate was some sort of emo edge Lord)

And while Patton didn't really mind it when his soulmate listened to that kind of music (Even though it really wasn't his type), he absolutely adored it when they played a different type.

He didn't really know how to explain it. Despite having no words, the music felt very emotional and powerful. Some of it was light hearted, that made Patton excited to go around and do meaningless things with the jolly tune, some of them making him feel very strong, helping h.be ready to face whatever awaited him.

However, there were certain songs that his soulmate would play, that really got to him, tugging on his heartstrings.

These songs were slower, and more intentional, mostly. When his soulmate played them, he always tried to settle down and get ready to some hours of thoughtful sadness, or melancholy. They all just felt very personal.

That's why Patton really didn't mind when they played those songs. They actually we're some of his favorites. He couldn't help but feel close to his soulmate when they did, and he couldn't wait for the day they got to listen to them together.

For Patton, today was a good day.

He woke up pretty easily and well rested, his morning playlist (Him and his soulmate had ended up taking turns with the morning music, to keep it from sounded up gurgled up) consistened of the happier tunes he had, adding a pep in his step when he walked into school.

After that, his day continued to go like normal, going from classes to class and trying to pretend he was full paying attention, of only to keep his brother Logan from scolding him about daydreaming again.

When he was walking to free period, he heard music start playing, and recognized it as his soulmates. He smiled at it, and hummed along to the happy tune.

Only to hear fast footsteps behind him.

"Hey! I'm sorry, but is that "Waltz de Chocobo your humming? From Final fantasy?" The boy asked, who had run up to him from behind.

Patton tilted his head. "I'm actually not sure. My soulmate plays it a lot, so I don't really know what it is." He smiled again, "But I know it's really catchy!"

The other boys smile seemed to change slightly. "Soulmate, eh? Well, I know a friend of mine happens to really like that soundtrack, and I believe may even listen to it a lot."

Patrons felt his excitement go from 10-100 in a split second.

"Really? Does his listen to music like it a lot? Oh!! What's his favorite?? Oh, actually why-"

"-dont you ask him yourself?"

He stopped abruptly.

The boy looked at him. "I'm sure he'd like to meet you! I can you give his number, if you'd want?"

And the dial turned back to 100.

"Yes!! I'm Patton, by the way."

"Emile!"

The next day was a different kind of day the yesterday.

Yesterday, everything had worked out well for him to have a good day, he was happy and bubbly, and he loved to be.

But today he felt different.

And, annoyingly enough, it was a day where there was nothing to make him feel off!! He should feel happy, he was going to get to met his soulmate!

But no, instead he felt all sad, and, due to his brother and father's insistence, was gonna stay home from school.

"You shouldn't push yourself, you know." Logan told him. "Some time alone may help you back to optimal performance"

"Yeah yeah,and I know your just happy because it means you get to make out with Roman with me interrupting."

Logan, In all his eloquence, responded with "Die", before finally leaving the house.

Not long after, Patton heard the morning music start. But, weirdly enough, it wasn't the more "punk" stuff they played in the morning.

No, it was the same song from yesterday that Emile had recognized. As it came to a close, Patton figured out that they were going to be playing this music all day.

He quickly took out his phone, and texted them, telling them to meet him after school.

After sending the text and getting confirmation, he quickly fell back asleep.

Which resulted in him completely oversleeping.

What he had planned to do was to wake up early enough to shower, find a cute outfit, and have some time to make himself look nice.

No, instead he only had 10 minutes to get himself together before he had to hurry himself out the door.

He barely had time to brush his teeth, try and tame his mop of hair, and get dressed in his only clean pants (the black one he hardly wore) and an overly large sweater, that made him look much smaller.

By the time he got outside and on his way to met his soulmate (He was meeting his soulmate looking like this???), He realized it was starting to rain.

And he hadn't even thought to grab an umbrella.

So by the time he got to the coffee shop they agreed to meet in, he was soaking wet, exhausted, and honestly still kinda sad.

He sat his stuff done, and went in line to order himself something warm to drink.

While doing so, he passed by some sort of reflective decoration, and got a good look at himself.

He was pale from the cold, and still wet. The area around his eyes were dark, and his large round glasses showed off just how exhausted he looked. His hair wasn't in any better condition, laying flat, In a way Patton knew it wouldn't stay for long, since it would dry and just pop back up poofier then before.

He had to stop himself from tearing up at that, not wanting to be too much to soon for his soulmate to deal with. He quickly got his drink, and went back to sit at his table to wait for them.

He considered turning on some music to help distract him from his thoughts ( why today of all days do I have to feel like this? Why do I have to look like that today of all days? Why couldn't have for once i-), but decided against it, not knowing what his soulmate would want.

He had only been sitting down, drinking his coco, long enough for his hair to dry partly, before he heard the music.

And he started crying instantly.

Because no, it couldn't have been just any music, no, it had to be the sad piano one that they hardly ever played. Patton couldn't figure out why, but hearing it just made him feel such longing, like he was chasing something he could never hope to catch.

Patton took one more look at himself through his reflection in his phone, before shaking his head, much more violently then intended.

no,.nonononomonono. I can't meant them like this, they can't see me like this. They can't, they can't

He grabbed his things, and practically tried to run out of the doors of the shop back into the streets, where the rain was starting to fall heavier.

But, before he could get back out to it and proceed to get himself completely soaked again, and probably end up being sick, he ran face first into the chest of some stranger.

Which did absolutely nothing to stop the water works.

Patton couldn't even bring himself to look up at the poor soul he had run into, before he felt himself be gently guided back to a table and sat down. He realized that during all of this, his soulmate turned off they're music, and that almost made him cry harder.

After a minute, he had finally calmed down enough to look at the person he had knocked into .

He was a scrawny man, looking at him with with scared,mix matched eyes. His hair was dyed a vibrant purple, which matched well with his patched hoodie.

Patton wiped his eyes. "I-im sorry, I'll just be going-"

"Are you Patton?" The other boy blurted out.

Patton just stared at him.

"Yes?"

Suddenly, the boy seemed like he could look anywhere, but at Patton. "Well, it's just that, y'know, my friendmentionedthattheymetsomeonetheythoughtwasmysoulmateandyoumatchthedescriotionprettywell"

That got Patton flustered, blushing and coughing into his tissue.

"W-well? Should we test it?" He asked.

The other boy took out his phone, headphones, and after a brief moment of pause of hesitation, pressed play."

Patton heard the soft begining of one of his favorite songs his soulmate would play.

And he looked up at the other boy, nodding slowly, before he started going quicker, before he stood and took the seat next to the boy, rather then across him.

"Your my soulmate!" He caught site of his reflection "I'm, uh, sorry you didn't get to meet me on one of my better days. But that doesn't matter right now! Who are you? What's your name? What's all the music you listen to from? Emile said something about fantasy, but I doubt that's where all of its from. What's your favorite song younplay? Ohhhh, you can show me the names!! And-"

"Hey, hey Pat. Slow down. I'm not going anywhere"

Patton blinked at him. "So?"

He shifted nervously. "Well, my name's Virgil, I guess by "music", you mean the game ost's, and yeah, a lot of it is from final fantasy 7, and probably anxious heart, which was the one I just played."

Patton felt himself grin. "That's one of my favorites!"

Virgil felt a small matching grin grow into his face.

They talked, and as the rain let up slightly, Patton offered to let Virgil come over for a while.

That's how Patton found himself curled up with his newly found soulmate, with Virgil showing the game he had heard so much of. He was making slow progress have Weber, since he kept getting distracted by the music.

Once Logan got home, he was a bit shocked to not only see him in his home unexpectedly, but also curled up with his brother.

"What are you doing here?" They said In sync.

Logan huffed, and adjusted his bag. "Well i live here, thank you very much. Now, may I properly know what you are doing here?"

Patton looked over at Logan. "He's my soulmate, Lolo! Do you know him?"

Logan glanced at him again. "I do, actually. He is my science partner. But I seem to remember that he discussed with me being quite infactuated with a someone he wouldnt disclose to me."

Virgil seemed to react to that very quickly. "That's not important right now! Logan, how about you go find some formulas to solve?"

Logan rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room. "Just thinking about how much simpler it would have been if you had admitted to having a crush on my younger brother" he yelled on his way out.

Patton cooed at Virgil as he tries to his his face, curling into him more, turning up the volume, finally able to enjoy the music with his soulmate.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #emile picani #moxiety #logince #soulmate au

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guleumsonyeo · 7 years

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tired😴

I really don’t like inanity.

Yet the most recurring word in my vocabulary is “like”. And not to sound arrogant, but I do have a fairly extensive one, where I like to flavour a sentence with words which are big and grand and nerdy (to my perspective, I do wonder if people just find me idiotic 😌) so its a bit horrifying to hear myself back on a WhatsApp voice note that is longer than 15 minutes. How DO you stop yourself from saying inane unnecessary words when they are spoken so unconsciously?

The reason I write at this particular moment about my dislike of inanity is because I’m sitting alone in a public cafe space where there are people discussing things in annoyingly damn loud voices 🔊, peppered with inane words and inane subjects, which I can still hear despite my noise cancelling earphones and calming piano “concentrating/studying” music from Spotify.

I’m sure, if I was with a friend at this particular point I would be equally loud and annoying. Being alone in a public space can definitely give you a sense of perspective, you have to listen to your thoughts, and not be distracted by conversation of whoever you would be sitting alongside. Either that or you delve into your phone for social media connectivity so as to have a pretence of connection. That in itself can be a depressing thing..

This spontaneous writing thingamajig is making me feel a sense of peace. (OH MY GOD I GOT AUTO CORRECTED FOR INCORRECTLY SPELLING THINGAMAJIG. Apparently I was missing an “a” paha 😆).

I’m currently due to hand in a project investigation today, something I’ve been struggling with slash avoiding with all my talents as a pretend ostrich. As I look blankly at the screen at my half finished project, behind a pair of glasses that are broken on one side because I wish to hold the grand world title of “clumsy af” 🤕, I wonder...is this sentence just too damn long? Why can’t I focus on the the correct priorities? Why can’t I focus on my studies? Why do I sleep late listening to friends and loves and discussing life on the phone, Skype, other connective internet based things, when I know that my papers are late, why do I complain I don’t have enough time...and then waste the minuscule time that I have? Why am I giving up constantly? 🙄😵😪

Now despite the seemingly melancholy nature and meandering of my thoughts on the screen.. I am not in fact feeling sad or depressed. That was me two..no three days ago. The music playing in this particular moment is making me feel cocooned and safe right now. The chatter has subsided slightly, though it refuses to stop intruding (why do some people have such grating laughter?) Right now I feel tired, bone tired, and slightly relaxed and weirdly content. Is it just the cathartic nature of typing? The act of going back to every phrase or word underlined in red and fixing it? It feels like I’m doing something, fixing something..when there is a gaping hole that needs fixing in my life that I am currently unable to fix. The truth is I can fix it, but my brain and head are just not in sync with that knowledge. I just missed two of my classes today, because I was tired.

I think the word tired would describe my life currently. There is a slight sense of exhaustion at the thought of many things. I admit that laziness is one of my many flaws, and that pervades and takes advantage of the word tired. 😴

Its funny how sometimes you can have really meaningful impactful conversations with the people who are important to you, or are slowly becoming a part of that circle, yet your physical state of mind at times can slow to change, no matter how much enthusiasm you have with friends over the topic. In case I’m being unclear, I’m talking about changing, the act of improving our lives, seeing things differently or for the better, which in turn leads us to start actively changing. Its one thing to say and another to do. And today for me is not a doing day. I guess I’m making it that way. Its my choice, my life, and despite the knowledge that as a believer in God (Allah), however shaky my faith is, and that He is the one with His finger in the pie that is my life, I do have free will.

I also write really long sentences which lose the point they're trying to convey. Much like my conversational path. Agh. 😰

I feel sleepy. I just want to see my husband in front of me and not far away in another country through the Skype machine. I want to have a decent sleep. I want to feel awake and motivated. I want to not rely on my mother to get me out of the house. I want to get back to praying regularly and have a balanced relationship with Him. I want to not feel distant from my problems, then suddenly fall back to reality with a crash that leads to further depression. I basically need to get my ass in gear.

Ok so the EXTREMELY annoying conversation which is happening in close proximity to me means, I need to take some action, i.e. move the heck away and get started on the fails of my project.

So long and thanks for all the fish. Dammit Im hungry now.

P.S. things that make that happy feeling spread in my bones this week :

Books (http://goodreads.com/toastedbutter) + Married by Morning by Lisa Kleyplas

Songs (http://last.fm/user/jazminderr)

+ Human by Rag’n’Bone Man + The Rain by Ladies Code + X (ft. LEE HI) by CODE KUNST

People

+ Mother dear and her endless patience with me + The hubling who is willing to stay up late to speak despite being as tired as I am + My little cousin and her cute emails + Friends who don’t shy away from taboo talk and are non judgemental (these should be the only kind of friends worth living for..but frankly we are all a multicoloured pot of broken dreams and hopes)

#writing #thoughts #tired #life #study #jam-fairy #jazminderr

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