#it's just so fucked up to me that a store that's supposed to Help ppl in need is full of racists

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

home from work

#if I speak… #one of the girls walked out yesterday #the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already #they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time #micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts) #and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him #bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can #so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO #anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need #it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning #and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today #we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao #and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before #we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day #we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left #it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo #*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having #to wait a long time for their food #and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO #I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take #stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess #I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every #night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had #nothing to make the wraps with <3 #I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap #and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used #they’re a fucking disaster like 😭 #was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess #this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up #womp womp!!!!!!

[sad--tree]

this vacation is not off 2 a good start yall :(

pippin had 2 go in2 hospital the morning that i left bc she'd suddenly gotten really sick and now she's gonna be there for a couple days bc of IV hydration/diagnostics/observation (*scream*)

aforementioned travel sequence from hell

airline FORGOT my suitcase in stockholm (tho supposedly it'll get delivered 2 me tmrw.....)

i FORGOT THE RIGHT PLUG ADAPTOR i brought the uk one by accident instead -_-

and finally, most recently i made a complete and utter fool of myself at the self checkout at the grocery store across the street so now i can Never Ever Go Back There Again

#i ordered a uk to eu adaptor online to pick up in store but even tho the webpage confirmed the order and they charged it to my card #i didnt get the confirmation text when i was supposed to and i dont wanna keep roaming on a second day... #idve been fine with just a usb adapter but alas. i need my laptop for schoolwork while im here #had the most perfect mcnuggets of my life in a random mall basement mcdicks tonite #so at least theres that lol #ah well. concert sunday. hike tuesday. at least theres stuff 2 look forward too lol #i always underestimate my anxiety being in a country where i dont speak the language :/// #like its not abt being understood bc i KNOW a lot of ppl here know english its like. idk. the need 4 other ppl 2 accommodate me #the inability 2 idk 'blend in' or be like invisible. leave no imprint behind on other ppl out in public. but nope. theres my anglo ass :/ #(ik its not entirely a rational anxiety but still) #of course the first time i travel 4 an extended distance/time by myself is the first time an airline fucks up with my luggage :( #want my fuzzy sweater & my pajama pants :( ive been in jeans for like 36 hours..... help...

[a-freak-gasoline-fight-accident]

i’m the only Normal bitch at my work so ofc i get stuck having lunch with the little twisted hypocrite christian racist who asks me too many personal questions. this bitch Donna, who’s been there n left before i got there has come back, and ofc i’m stuck on break with her and she keeps asking personal questions, trying to work me out, trying to see if she can be racist in front of me’ testing the waters. i Know what she’s doing so i give her 1 word responses and no details. TODAY we were in the break room together and she brings up the indigenous voice to parliament and asks me if i’ve seen the pamphlet someone had printed out and passed around work (which i’m pretty sure is ILLEGAL), i said ‘No that sounds like misinformation and propaganda’ (looking back i probs shouldn’t have said that lol but oh well c: teehee) and she went quiet for a little bit and then straight up asked me if i had any aboriginal blood. i said ‘No’ just to show her that it’s not fucking WEIRD for a white person to give a fuck about indigenous peoplesssss, PLUS i could not think of anything else to say to that yes or no question and iidk how to be Rude to ppl, i’m also not used to being talked to either so [shrug]. ANYWAY then as i was at the sink trying to wash my mug and spoon as fast as i could to get tf out of there, she goes ‘Ya know, it’s the indigenous ppl around the world who’ve had it the roughest; aboriginals, native americans, american n*gros (yes she used THAT word), even southern americans’. i am not stupid, i know what this bitch is doing, so i’m at the sink just giving non-committal nods like i’m only half listening. then she says ‘You know i pray a lot, i pray alot. and you know, my prayers always get answered.....do you pray?’ ya know, trying to see if i’m a Good Little Christian girlllllll, i was fucking 0.2 seconds away from telling her ‘No, i’m actually Buddhist’ and walking out of that room. instead i just shook my head and said ‘Nah, not really’. then excused myself bc the half hour break was over. THEN as i was at the counter later, another coworker told me that it was Donna herself who had printed out and brought in the pamphlets on monday skdjgjsdjgsdf like ofc she did lol <3 i’m so glad i still wear a mask, they’d see me grin so much. then the same coworker asked me about which way i’m voting n i said ‘Yes’, n she said ‘Yes is as in you want it though...’ like she was warning me that i was voting wrongly <3<3<3<3 n i was like ‘Yeah i know, i’m voting yes FOR it’.

#personal #tried telling them that dutton just didn't want the voice to succeed bc then when lnp got in again he'd have to MAYBE listen to them but the #coworker i was at the counter with brought out a pamphlet n asked me if i wasnted to read it n i was like No <3 #later i went out the back and n i think i caught the end of a convo about how the Sorry was BS bc my 2-faced coworker is belgian n they neve #never got a sorry #skdfjgjkdsfghdsfjg #i feel like a sexy lil sheep in a den full of scraggly old wolves #small country town are the WORST #it's just so fucked up to me that a store that's supposed to Help ppl in need is full of racists #but then later the coworker #small country towns #might actually b getting inchrested in buddhism 4 real. tho i don't think i have it in me 2 fully kermit 2 a faith #i was half-joking when i thought about telling that bitch i was buddhist. i shoulda. #actually. it's weird. later that day i went in2 homewares n on a table there were 2 buddha candle holders. a sign perhaps?

[dilfian]

my god. my god. my godddddddddd. girl help.

#xoxo #store manager has been an absolute worse ass than normal bc a walkthrough is supposed to happen later. #my boss needs pics of a sale that i found out an hr and a half after i clocked in that started yesterday. #mb has been very good today tho. helped print the signs and has given me a zebra so we can write off plants. #today sucks so much everybodys stressed and overworked. #OH store manager watches the cameras now and doesnt want anybody to be talking up at the front lol. . .good luck on that one. #asking my boss. really pushing her. to move to me another store even a longer drive sounds better and better everyday. #or back to ml. . .ig there wouldnt be enough hrs for me but still :( #i texted one of our grower reps and said we needed new houseplants which we do but now im like i dont even want to be here anymore. . . #and i havdnt wanted to be af this store like at all tbh but i like the general ppl i work with #im so. .. ..😔 anyways. ANYWAYS. just trying to mame it thru today. #also i still dont even have proper signs bc i dont have protective sheets for them. someone took them. #im so fucking done i cant.

[orcelito]

Thankfully the only injury I got was the leg bruise.. but that wasn't even from the shipment lmao. I was trying to find smth from our storage room to prop the hallway doorway open with & there is this like.... idk, INCREDIBLY heavy box of like. Linoleum tiles I think?? It's only like a foot squared by like six inches high. Not very big but oh LORD it's heavy. Perfect for propping a door open!

Or so I thought. Got down in a crouch, gave it a hefty lift... but that thing Has to be like close to a hundred pounds bc I can lift 50 pounds with ease. I lifted it, but it was still Way Too Much. So I fumbled it, & it hit my leg as I dropped it to the ground.

I went and found a smaller box of coconut milk that was MUCH lighter & used that to prop the door open instead lol

#speculation nation #the bruise is soooo annoying. a good 6 inches long of a bruise. i can feel it anytime i crouch. #but im glad i didnt get hurt any other way. aside from a few lightly squished fingers. #moving That many boxes... injury is definitely possible #there were a good 700+ boxes in that shipment. neighbor store lent us their electric pallet jack thank God #bc it's a long hallway with hills up to our store. made it easier to get up there #but we had to move a lot of things to try to consolidate pallets. and oh yea NONE of these were pre-packed pallets #we had moving help to pack them from the truck onto the pallets. but we only had 2 of the 4 guys we were supposed to have. #a full fucking semi truck of free boxes. so of course the pallets of boxes werent wrapped or anything #WHICH meant a lot of the boxes were precarious. and did indeed fall off. #and we didnt have enough fucking pallets so we had to move So many fucking boxes once we got them to the storage room #to try to put them in every nook and cranny of the room #im just a tiny lil person but i was there lifting aaall these boxes above my head. holy shit. #my body rebelled so hard bc it was sooo angry at me for pushing it past the point of exhaustion lol #rly hoping the ppl who worked as movers get bonuses for that shit bc Wowwwwww that was pretty fuckin awful lol #havent gotten a shipment this big in like 2 years. Man.

[givemethedamnflowers]

.

#the last bits of the sinus infection i had last week and this week end are still w me #im so fucking tired #and today be hard did NOT help #im just so sleepy but 1/it's not even 7pm 2/i have d&d from 7:30 to 9:30 #this morning was ROUGH #bc our freight elevator is broken i had to reject some of our deliveries last week bc i cant bring up such heavy loads by hand #like it's 3 flight of stairs AND some walk to get to the restaurant #and bc we were closed for easter monday i knew i would get today both what we usually get monday and the tuesday deliveries #AND a redelivery from last week i knew that i was prepared #BUT the elevator was still broken so 1 of our vendors dropped the delivery at another close by restaurant and we had to find time to get it #another vendor still went downstairs and i had to carry the packages up the stairs w a colleague #the girl from another restaurant from the brand that was supposed to come at 7 arrived at 8:20 #we can open if we're only 2 but... not when i have this much delivery lol so fuck me i guess #AND we learn we have 2 new employees coming today so we have to train them #which good !! we NEED new employees but lol today of all day #we're getting 80 more places on our outside area next week so we desperatly need new ppl #we wanted them before so they could be fully trained for when the new places arrive but well better late than never idk #so by 10:45 i had : 4 deliveries and only 2 that came via the same guy were delivered actually at the store 2 ppl from another location #that know the work but not the restaurant incl one who didnt speak french 2 new employees we had to shwo around and explain the basics #and i had to take my break at 11 or i would get to eat at all #this rant is a mess

[muchosbesitos]

la apuesta part 2

pairing: college!miguel x fem reader

warnings: a bit of angst(?), oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (safe sex is GREAT sex 🗣️💯), missionary, doggy

author’s note: i keep getting surprised by the fact that ppl actually like my drabbles 💀 but like always, thank you for supporting :))

word count: 4120 (lo siento, i got carried away 😰)

part one aqui :)

Miguel(DO NOT CALL): chula, please talk to me

received at 2:43 pm

Miguel(DO NOT CALL): can we just talk about what you think you might've heard?

received at 2:44 pm

Miguel(DO NOT CALL): please. i just wanna talk to you.

received at 2:45 pm

Miguel hadn't realized how effectively you'd infiltrated through his defenses until you had left, knowing that he'd probably never share another weird snack combination with you settling weird in his stomach. He was supposed to feel a sense of relief and accomplishment when Peter congratulated him and gave him the two hundred bucks, but he only felt the cereal he ate this morning forming into steel, only feeling the emptiness from not having you. He decided to put his pride to the side and head over to your dorm, just to try to explain his side of the situation.

You heard a knock on your door a couple minutes later but had a feeling it was Miguel, so you decided not to open the door. Your roommate glanced over at you, seeing the fetal position you were laying in and decided to open the door just a bit. "I don't know what the hell you did to her, but get the fuck out, O'Hara. What I do know is that she was too good for you to be messing around with in the first place, so you and Peter can go stick that blunt up your ass and choke on it," you heard her say, slamming the door in his face before walking back to your side of the room. You let out a small laugh, looking up at her as you sat up on the bed. "Thanks MJ," you whispered, letting out a small sigh as she embraced you in a hug. "Now, I've let you mope around the dorm for about a week now but let's go out. It doesn't have to be anything too serious, we can just go out to the mall if you want," she suggested, looking at you with a smile as she pulled away from the hug.

You and MJ walked through the mall a couple hours later, despite the fact that you'd only gotten one of those overpriced pretzels from Auntie Anne's, you still found yourself enjoying this without giving much thought to Miguel. That was, until you and MJ were sitting at the water fountain talking about which store to go next when you saw him talking with a girl. You wanted to be the better person, to be able to walk away from it, but you just couldn't help but feel the anger coursing inside of you. "You're a real piece of shit, you know that? It's one thing for you to treat me like I don't have any feelings and I'm just means to an end but it's another thing for you to go and talk to someone else after you came to my dorm room just a few hours ago!" You yelled at him, tears welling up in your eyes as you slapped him. You attracted the attention from other shoppers, but you didn't care, you wanted Miguel to feel just a second of the hurt you felt this past week.

MJ looked up at you as you walked back to her, leaving Miguel agape with his hand on his cheek, as a smile appeared on her face while she took a bite out of her pretzel. "I feel like a proud mom right now, y'know?" She said, laughing a bit as she hands you your pretzel. "It's just, I know that it was all just part of the bet, but a part of me wanted him to care," you admitted, taking a bite out of the pretzel as you tried to get Miguel out of your mind. "I know you're gonna wanna blame yourself and whatnot, but it wasn't your fault, it was his. He didn't deserve a minute of your company," she assured you, rubbing your knee before standing up.

You two continued to walk around in the mall, ending up at Sephora to look at overpriced makeup. "Walking out with 2 makeup products after spending 80 dollars has to be a federal crime," you murmured, looking at your receipt with a small groan. "Not a federal crime, capitalism," she said with a laugh, walking next to you as she looked through her own receipt with a small groan. "Okay, you're right. This has to be a federal crime somewhere," she finally muttered, shoving it in her pocket as you two walked around window shopping.

After seeing Miguel at the mall with that girl, you decided to get your priorities back in order. Your grades weren't necessarily slipping too badly, but you knew you could do better. You walked into the library, sitting down at one of the tables in the back and read through your textbook while highlighting some key points. You looked up when someone slammed something on the table, your annoyance only growing when you saw Peter sitting down in front of you. You weren't exactly his biggest fan given how immaturely he acted with MJ, but your distaste had grown even more when you found out he orchestrated the bet. You were about to pick up your stuff to leave before he grabbed your arm, making you sit back down.

"Just give me five minutes to explain, and I'll leave you alone after that," he said, letting your arm go as he folded his arms. You sighed but nodded, closing your book as you paid attention to him. "Look, Miguel might be an asshole for going through with the bet, but I made the suggestion. I was angry at you for swaying MJ's opinion about me and I took advantage of what he felt towards you," he said, his head dropping a bit in shame. You scoffed in surprise, shaking your head as you collected your books. "First of all, I never swayed MJ's opinion about you. Sure, I told her she should set some stricter boundaries when it comes to you but I never got in the middle of your relationship. And next time you have an issue with me, address it instead of having someone else do the work for you," you said, walking away from him.

You felt even angrier at Peter's explanation of the events, knowing he probably said that to make himself feel better about all this. You scoffed and heard your stomach grumble loudly, your cheeks flushing red when you saw that you'd attracted some attention from the students walking nearby. You walked into the cafeteria, trying to calm down as you headed into the lunch line. You glanced over at the available tables before your gaze fell on Miguel. Or more specifically, Miguel kissing the same blonde girl from the mall against one of the vending machines. You felt yourself growing angry, at Miguel for being a jerk and at yourself, for still caring about what he did with his tongue.

As you sat down at the tables with your cold pizza in hand, you couldn't help but start to wonder what was wrong with you. Why she deserved to be taken seriously while you were treated like your feelings didn't matter, like you were just the end objective to a goal. You felt someone's gaze on you and looked up to see Miguel staring at you, an indecipherable look in his eyes, as the girl next to him continued talking. The girl looked over at you with narrowed eyes, practically seething, before pulling Miguel for a kiss. You snapped out of it, feeling a bit sorry for the girl that she felt the need to do that out of jealousy before going back to eating your pizza.

You spent most of the semester focusing on your own work, spending time with your friends and MJ, and even if you did get asked out, you couldn't bring yourself to say yes and do all the work. Sure, Miguel hurt you deeply, but you didn't find any excitement in going on dates. Not like you did with him. Eventually, midterms were around the corner and you were assigned to work with Miguel for your biology project. Even if the idea made you want to drop out of college and never come back, you decided to be mature and be a good partner to Miguel.

You decided to stick behind when the class left after gaining permission from your professor to do a test run on the project assigned, since the idea of getting anything less than an A just didn't sit right. You walked into the supply closet, grabbing a few things before you heard the door close and lock. Before you had the chance to say anything, Miguel popped out and looked at you pleadingly. "Please, just let me talk and then I'll let you go," he said, his hands fidgeting by his sides like he had the urge to grab you but couldn't decide if it would be right. "What is it, Miguel?" you asked, putting down the instruments you were holding in your hand before you got the idea to smash a flask on his head.

"Look, I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry about that, but I can't sleep without you. I can't stop thinking about you, it's haunting my mind," he said, looking into your eyes as you laughed bitterly. "Isn't that the understatement of the century? You seemed perfectly fine when I saw you exchanging saliva in the cafeteria a couple weeks ago," you replied, folding your arms as you waited for him to elaborate. "She doesn't mean anything to me. Not the way you do, I promise. I tried to get you out of my mind, I did, but despite everything, I still found myself falling in love with you," he said, holding your hands as he looked straight at you. "Is this just another part of a bet? Try to see how long I'll take to forgive you? I wonder what the wager is, 200?" you asked, taking your hands off him as you saw the look in his eyes shift into something disappointing. "I get that you still don't trust me, chula. but I'll make it up to you," he said after a moment of silence, kissing your hand before walking away.

Over the next couple days, you kept finding your favorite flowers scattered on your desk at school or on your front door with some memo along the lines of 'forgive me.' You couldn't help but feel slightly enraged at the fact that Miguel thought he could makeup for what he did with just measly flowers, so the bouquets ended up in the garbage most of the time. After Miguel noticed that you weren't responding to the flowers, he kept dropping letters in your notebooks or leaving them at your dorm expressing how sorry he truly felt. Eventually, those ended up in the trash as well after you started growing more and more agitated at how he just didn't understand that you wanted a genuine apology.

He stopped you on your way out your biology midterm, pulling you into an empty classroom as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Okay, I see that most of my gestures aren't getting anywhere with you so I want to try something different. I want to apologize for the way that I acted towards you, treating you like you were just some end objective to a goal. At first, it did feel like that, but as I started to get closer to you, I fell in love with the person that you were. Look, I wish I could tell you why I chose to do that, but I can't. What I can tell you is that those two hundred dollars weren't anything compared to what it's like being in your company," he spoke after a couple seconds, his hands clasping yours as if he was begging you not leave just yet. "I want to trust you, I really do, but I can't. I can't let myself go through all that again," you spoke truthfully, your hands holding his tightly as he looked at you.

"Let's make a bet, yeah?" He asked, half a smile on his face as you stared at him, dumbfounded that he would even bring that idea up right now. In the middle of his apology speech. "I know it sounds stupid right now but hear me out, okay. If you agree to go on a date with me and you find yourself enjoying it, then you'll give me a chance to continue to prove myself to you. And if you don't enjoy it, then I'll leave you alone. How does that sound?" he suggested, letting your hands go as he gave you some time to think about it."You're right, that is the stupidest idea I've heard. But fine, I suppose I'll do it," you finally said after a couple minutes of consideration. You saw the look of surprise flicker in miguel's eyes before he broke out into a smile, kissing your hands. "Gracias, mi chula. I won't disappoint," he said before walking off out of the empty classroom, leaving you alone with your rampant thoughts.

The day of the date, you paced around your dorm as MJ stared at you, listening to your rambles. "What if this was a mistake? I mean, he already played me once so who's to say he won't do it again, y'know what I mean?" You said, looking up at her as you stopped your pacing for a moment. "So why'd you agree to it?" She asked, laying down on her stomach as she looked up at you. "I don't know, I guess I'm hoping that he's been truthful about this all because despite the fact that he hurt me and all that, I'm still in love with him," you admitted, sitting down on your bed as you looked over at her. "Well, that's as good of a reason as any to go," she replied, standing up to sit next to you as she placed her hand on your thigh, gently rubbing it as she tried to reassure you.

You heard a knock on your door a couple hours later as you finished up getting ready, feeling a bit anxious to see Miguel once more. You opened the door once you finished tying your shoes on, seeing Miguel dressed in one of those burgundy button down shirts he looks so good in but barely wears with a pair of black pants. His jaw dropped as he scratched the back of his neck nervously, before he gave you a smile. "Te ves hermosa, mi chula," he said, handing you a bouquet of flowers. You held the flowers up to your nose before going to set them back down, coming back to see MJ standing in the doorway now. "If she comes back with even one lash out of place, I will hunt you down," she threatened, the sight almost funny to you as you saw her looking up at him. You pressed your hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring smile before walking out of the door next to Miguel. (you look gorgeous, my pretty)

You and Miguel ended up on an aquarium date, since you briefly mentioned in the past that even though it was a bit cliché in your opinion, you always wanted to come on one. Miguel held your hand once you were at the front of the line, guiding you inside to where some of the pufferfish were. You took a chance to watch them swim around, your eyes drifting over to Miguel to see that he was staring at you, watching the way you took in everything around you. You two continued walking through the aquarium, staring at some of the different fish with you taking pictures and him dropping some random fish fact he'd read about when he was six.

"I cannot believe you prefer sharks over dolphins," Miguel said with a small laugh, folding his arms as he watched your nose scrunch up at the dolphin show. "You're telling me you prefer these menacing creatures over those cute little guys?" You asked, your brows slightly furrowed as you looked up at Miguel. "Well no, but it's still odd how you call an animal with five rows of teeth a 'cute little guy'," he said, nudging your shoulder gently as he laughed. Despite the fact that you'd convinced yourself you were gonna try to make this difficult for Miguel, you couldn't help but be reminded of the guy you fell in love with here at the aquarium.

You and Miguel continued walking around the aquarium a bit before you reached to the manta-ray petting area. "Please?" You asked, your bottom lip forming into a pout as you saw the look on his face when you both got there. He let out an exasperated sigh as he rubbed his temples whispering an, "Ay Dios mío" before agreeing to go in with you. You did quick work of washing your hands before walking over to the small pool where they were, your hands gently touching them. Miguel walked next to you, handing you a piece of fish to feed to them as he basked in the small smile you gave him. You two spent a few minutes in silence petting the manta-rays before deciding to go get an ice cream cone. (oh Lord)

"Thank you for all this, I know I didn't exactly make it easy for you," you said, licking your ice cream cone as you sat down in his car. He placed his hand on top of yours, gently rubbing it with his thumb as he looked into your eyes. "I get it, okay? I know it probably wasn't easy for you to let down your defenses but I really do appreciate you giving me this opportunity," he said, bringing your hand up to his mouth before kissing it. The ride back home was pretty quiet, a comforting type of silence, your hand enveloped with his as he rubbed gentle circles every now and then.

You and Miguel got to his dorm room a couple minutes later, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist as he held you up against the wall, kissing your neck as he tasted every spot he had access to. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling him closer to his body before stopping suddenly, looking at you. "Is it alright if we do this, mi reina? i don't want you to feel pressured," he asked, instantly being shut up as you pulled him in for a kiss once more. (my queen)

He set you down on the bed, his hands working on helping you get undressed before laying you back on his bed. He settled in between your legs, kissing your lips passionately, like he couldn't live normally without a taste of your lips. He kissed down your neck, his hands gently rubbing on your thighs. He pressed small kisses on your stomach before he reached your cunt, leaving a small kiss on your clit before adjusting himself so he'd have better access. He started licking your folds gently, his tongue dipping your hole teasingly as he chuckled when he saw how you reacted, your hands tangling in his hair to pull him closer. He let his hands rest on your thighs, gently rubbing small circles on them as he dipped his tongue inside, sucking on everything that you would give him.

He exchanged his mouth for his fingers a couple moments later, his pointer and middle finger dipping in and out of you as he tried to ease his way in. "So tight," he mumbled, his mouth closing around your clit as his tongue rolled against it. His fingers moved in a scissoring motion as he eased against your walls, basking in the way your fingers gripped his hair and the way your hips grinded against his face. He let out small moans against your clit, the vibrations going straight through you as your back arched from the bed. He curled his fingers in just the right way, listening to the way your moans started becoming less coherent and the way your back arched from the bed. He continued to thrust his fingers inside of you, his tongue working in tandem against your clit as you babbled something about being close.

He pulled away from your cunt, sticking his fingers in his mouth as he licked your release off. You felt yourself growing more aroused at the scene, pulling Miguel down for a kiss as you moaned softly when you tasted a combination of yourself and his toothpaste. He pulled away a couple moments later, doing quick work of his clothes as he stroked your cheek. "Is it still okay if we do this?" He asked, watching you closely for any signs of doubt. "Yes. Please, I need you Mig," you said, feeling yourself cringe internally at how needy you were being but you couldn't find it in you to care at the moment.

He gently pushed inside of you, his hand wrapped in yours as he circled your palm with his thumb. He wiped away a tear rolling down your cheek, making sure he didn't move until you had gotten adjusted. You focused on relaxing and taking deep breaths despite how big he just felt inside of you, and it was barely the tip. "You can move now," you told him, feeling the ache in between your legs be replaced by something pleasurable. He slowly started moving deeper inside of you, letting out a small groan as he bottomed out deep inside of you. He pressed his hand against your lower stomach, looking directly at the bulge in your stomach as he started moving.

"Such a good girl, taking me in so deep," he whispered, dipping his head down to kiss your cheek. He continued thrusting his hips against yours, moving faster as he felt your walls clenching around his cock like a vice. You nodded, babbling mindlessly about how much of a good girl you were for him as he chuckled, clearly enjoying the sight of the mixture between your boobs bouncing and the cockdrunk state you were in. His thumb traveled down to your clit, gently rubbing small circles on it as his cock abused your cunt, your walls fluttering around him. Your walls clenched around him tightly as you moaned, your release washing over you and creating a creamy white ring around the base of his cock. "You think you can do one more for me, sweetheart?" He asked, gently rubbing your thighs as you nodded, not trusting your voice to speak.

You flipped over on your stomach as you rested on all fours, letting out a small moan as you felt spit dribbling down your cunt. He started thrusting in slowly, your walls clenching around him as he started to move in deeper inside. He started off slow since he knew you weren't exactly experienced when it came to sex, but once you started to move your hips against his, he lost all semblance of control. His balls slapped heavily against your thighs as he snapped your hips, hitting your cunt in ways you hadn't felt before. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he continued to move against you, letting out small groans.

He grabbed you by your shoulders, pulling you upright so your back would hit his chest while he tilted your head to kiss you. "Taking me so good, mi vida," he whispered, feeling his orgasm starting to build up. With the way you were clenching around him, he could tell you were close too so he decided to rub small circles on your clit once more, providing you just the right amount of stimulation. You let out a small moan as you came around his cock once more and the way your walls tightened against him, his orgasm came crashing down. His cum coated your pussy, leaking out when he pulled his softening cock out.

He grabbed a rag from his drawers, starting to clean your legs carefully, making sure not to apply too much pressure so he wouldn't overstimulate you. He laid down next to you once he finished, wrapping his arms against you tightly as he covered you two up with the sheets. You felt yourself growing sleepy with how warm he felt against you but you still heard him say,

"Does this mean I win the bet, mi chula?"

@eddiemxnsonlvr @chshiresins @mimiemie @6thhokageswife

#muchosbesitos #miguel spider man 2099 #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara imagine #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 smut #atsv miguel #miguel atsv #miguel across the spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel smut #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x you #spiderman atsv #spiderman smut

[fuck-customers]

So i follow the same script with nearly every customer. Same store required greeting and promo, then at the register its the required questions and we're supposed to pick one of the things they're buying to be like omg this is so good/my favourite. Pretty standard service worker script imo.

Customer today overheard me interacting with the customer after her, and it rlly possed her off that i said the same things as i did for her? She started going off at me saying i was "being fake" and "clearly didn't REALLY care abt her".

That's just...what?? Is she rlly so stupid that she goes around thinking random ppl who r payed and required to say polite greetings to her, do so out of deeply and genuinely caring abt her as a person specifically????

Side note I have social and generalized anxiety and find the required script very helpful as it makes navigating a social thing less of a complicated thing. Now I'm slightly questioning whether she's a weirdo for thinking that or if I'm a weirdo for having such a simple script? Should I be alternating between two paraphrased versions to avoid this? Am I supposed to be genuine this whole time and I'm tricking ppl into thinking I am when I'm not? Did I fuck up or did she????? Leaning toward she did but who even knows

Posted by admin Rodney.

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

PRE-PRELIMINARY #19

Submission 55

Tohru Adachi is a better character than Goro Akechi

[SUBMITTED JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT]

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure! (exposure like when your exposed to critical levels of radiation)

They're both terrible people but P4 doesn't try to justify Adachi's actions even if you pick the accomplice ending and side with him, meanwhile P5 constantly goes 'but he was sad tho :( his daddy doesn't love him so he's allowed to kill ppl' after the reveal that Akechi's the traitor. Also I did the math and in the cutscene where the train gets derailed alone Akechi killed at least 100x more people than Adachi did in the entire game. There's nothing wrong with liking evil characters (IMO) but acting like they're sweet innocent babies is lame

Adachi and Akechi have similar roles in the story. They’re both the subject of the main mystery of their respective games, the killer and the traitor, and in order to hide their involvement, they have fake detective personas (lowercase p personas not Personas). The issue is that while Adachi’s fake personality is a lovable dork who goofs off work by hanging out in the lobby of a department store, “accidentally” leaks critical information about the case to a bunch of teenagers, and has a weird friendship with an old lady who thinks he’s her son, Akechi's is just generic “crime bad, criminals bad” detective man with zero substance to any of his interactions with the main cast outside of literally all of them fucking hating him (the correct and morally right response to Akechi talking to you). But that’s just their fake personalities, right? It’s totally fine for a completely false, constructed persona to be a little shallow, right? Well Akechi’s real personality is just as bad. I already mentioned how his entire motivation is “Waah my dad doesn’t love me so I’m gonna help him achieve his goals then kill him” which is completely fucking stupid by the way just kill the dude and be done with it if thats what you’re gonna do anyway man, but his personality boils down to ‘generic angsty villain whos gonna get a completely undeserved redemption arc’ (thankfully cognitive Akechi killed him before that could happen, the one good thing he did and it wasn’t even really him). Adachi’s real personality is completely unhinged, his big motivation speech can be summed up as “ACAB!” “But you’re a cop!?” YEAH AND I’M A TOTAL BASTARD WHAT PART OF THAT DON’T YOU GET!?” You love to hate him, and that’s what makes a good antagonist, not feeling sorry for him because his dad doesn’t love him. Guess what Akechi, a lot of people's dads don’t love them and none of them became domestic terrorists to try to regain his love and respect!

And you might think that I’m exaggerating with how the player is supposed to sympathise and eventually forgive Akechi, but after he explains his awful motivation, the first person to extend a hand of sympathy is Haru, the girl who’s father Akechi murdered in front of her like two months prior. The second person is Futaba, who spent her entire adolescence traumatised because she thought she was such a shitty daughter that it drove her mother to suicide BECAUSE AKECHI KILLED HER MOTHER IN FRONT OF HER (the dude’s consistent I’ll give him that.)

#persona #persona 4 #persona 5 #tohru adachi #goro akechi #persona 5 akechi #p4 adachi #persona 4 adachi #p5 akechi #hot take #hot take tournament #tournament poll #tumblr bracket #tumblr tournament #tumblr poll #persona 4 spoilers #persona 5 spoilers #unpopular opinion #pre preliminary

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[flingza-roller]

Hi hi wow your cosplay looks so cool, do you have any tips or advice on making a splatoon cosplay? And happy birthday for last week, that pinata video lives in my head rent free

OUGH THANK U!! it makes me rly happy that so many people like my cosplay.... i appreciate all the stuff yall have said so much!

gonna put this under the cut cuz i typed a lot lmao

if u can find patterns online to use they will be ur best friend, winging it CAN work but. not always DSGKJ

so there would be a lot to cover but im just gonna gonna start with the tentacles- mine are made from minky but i know ppl who've used like, a more vinyl-ish material? do NOT fucking use satin, i made that mistake with my original agent 3 cosplay and i nearly smashed my sewing machine out of pure rage. satin + minky is SO slippery and no matter what u do the pattern will just, Fuck Up. its why the tentacles were shaped so weirdly :/ so this time i stuck to ONLY minky and the result was way better. i had a friend help with hand sewing em and it meant more control over how the shape turns out so it was way better than my first attempt. (i then used plushie stuffing to give em shape and it makes em sooo fucking squishy n soft)

I FORGOT TO MENTION. the tentacles are safety pinned to the inside of the hat for stability, im not wearing a wig or anything.

eye mask? use eyeliner or body paint! ive done both and they both work well, id recommend using a setting spray tho. and if ur gonna wear contacts like i did, ALWAYS put contacts in before any makeup. this avoids the risk of getting shit in ur eye while putting em in (also my eyes always water a fucktonne lmao) oh and if u use a blind contact, be prepared to have fucky vision whenever ur in cosplay. agent 3 cosplayers stay suffering 💔

if ur gonna hand sew anything, definitely try to use proper techniques. luckily my gf is very good at that kinda stuff and they helped me through sewing the poncho/cape/idk fuckin old rags, i used a whip stitch so the threading isnt visible (im thinking of modifying it to add big thick cosmetic stitches so it looks more game-accurate, same with the patch on the hat)

craft stores are ur best friend for supplies! if ur australian, i highly recommend spotlight and lincraft for pretty much everything. spotlight usually has the most variety in fabric, but i always need to order my minky online. if ur not an aussie, prolly just google which places to go to DSGJ idk what yall have.

but heres my number 1 tip for cosplay- HAVE FUN! i know this sounds cliche but seriously. i sometimes to caught up in my head over little things, like "this isnt game accurate enough" "the colours are off" "people are gonna notice (X)" but cosplay is supposed to be fun, silly, crafting experience, a hobby, but most of all ur just dressing up as a fictional character and what could possibly be dorkier than that? feel free to do things differently, u never need to adhere to canon (i literally did the hijack scar AND i have a face full of metal), being accurate is NOT the most important thing, and of course- body type, gender, skin colour, NONE of these things should stop u from doing whatever the hell u want. the naysayers can go fuck themselves <3

and if u dont have the budget to buy good supplies, theres nothing wrong with a closet cosplay! work with whatever ya got!

imma finish here but if theres a specific cosplay thing u wanna know more about please ask and ill help as much as i can :]

#text #long #cosplay #btw the headphones and thongs are just painted bc whatever #i wanna do LED headphones someday but thats way outta my league #gonna do it anyway tho cuz im insane #i didnt talk about the hat but i literally just grabbed my sailor hat and glued on fabric n shit #took me hours to measure everything out properly and the nss emblem gave me HELL but it was worth it #THANK U FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISH BTW ILY

[bardicindignation]

au Fic idea i may or may not write so am just throwing it out there (spoilers for end of s1)

When they find Ceelia, she asks about Nathan’s blood, they decide to find his father, she asks Analise to undo her so that they can take her heart with them for Nathan to eat. 

“I was supposed to protect you. Bloods say a little part of you lives on, I want you to have it, so that little part can protect you when I’m gone.”

While they’re having this conversation, Gabriel has started to try and staunch the bleeding. 

Annalise refuses and Nathan says, “You’re not getting out of this so easily, just hang on and you can use your power to protect me yourself, if you’re so hung up about it.”

Ceelia says that she’ll just slow them down, Gabriel says that they’re not going to do it, so she might as well do her damndest to stay alive as long as she can until they get back from getting Nathan his blood, because fuck if they know how fresh the heart has to be. 

Ceelia nods, takes over putting pressure on her wound, and says the “To the friends at our table” etc, and settles in to wait as long as they can. 

When Nathan meets his dad, when he asks for the third gift, he asks if Marcus has any healing powers he’d be willing to use to help him. Marcus says, after doing the ‘find out who you are’ bit that if Soul killed his Hunters, then he almost certainly has healing somewhere in the mix. 

When Soul is dead, and Annalise sees Nathan staring at the heart, she goes to say something, but before she can, Nathan repeats what Marcus had told him about the healing. 

Annalise says that she knows, and even if eating her father’s heart didn’t have the chance to ensure that Nathan wouldn’t have to eat Ceelia’s, she’d have told him to anyway, because all those people he killed deserve to live on, like her uncle and Nathan’s grandmother. 

Nathan eats the heart, and they book it back to Wolfhagen where Ceelia is hanging on to the barest threads of life, body frosted over in her last attempt at slowing her death/keeping her heart fresh enough to pass down her power. 

Nathan is able to heal her enough that she’s not in immediate danger of dying, and he, Gabriel and Annalise manage to get her to a car to take them somewhere safe. 

Possible following events: Ceelia training all of them, plans to kill Mercury and seize her blood stores so they can use them for Blood Witches whose families have been killed, getting into contact with others to help them resolve stuff maybe? (possibly starting with ppl who used to work for Mercury like Gabriel cause that shit was fucked)(possibly Annalise’s mom, bc i think that the theory that she’s also got Decimation bc Annalise has never really seen her use her ‘water’ power)

#the bastard son & the devil himself #the bastard son and the devil himself #Ceelia #nathan byrn #annalise obrien #gabriel boutin #fanfic #my fanfic ideas #i do very much want to write this #not sure if I'm gonna have the spoons tho lol #we'll see #i really like the whole #part of someone lives on when the powers are transferred #thing #and it probably would've been clunky with pacing or whatever #but i think it would've been really cool if Nathan had taken Ceelia's power #if she'd asked him to #since Soul didn't

[buried-stars]

5, 10, 17, 18, 22, 24 & 25 for your guy goro :3

yippee!

5) Out of all your fanworks that include [character], which is your favourite?

it literally has to be in the ashes of everything; i wrote it (checks calendar) four years ago because i was annoyed that all the recovery fics had a shu//ake basis, and because i was pissed at atlus (but who isn't). anyways multiple ppl told me it was the best goro they'd ever read and im still riding that high. i genuinely want to go back to that AU at some point because it makes me feel like im in a salad spinner but in a good way

10) What’s your favourite piece of fanart for [character]?

oh that's so hard to choose. this one is hilarious and this one makes me feel like im trapped in the happy monkey circle (compliment)

17) What’s a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?

i think goro would get really into dimension 20, assuming it had japanese subtitles. also i think alongside featherman he was rly into warrior cats as a kid and it never quite left him.

18) Type [charater]’s name and tell us what the autocomplete suggests as the next word

nothing funny comes up immediately but if i keep pressing the middle option, i get: "goro akechi is going to arrive soon" which is the thought i have every april that makes me pick up the game again

22) Give us a headcanon for [character]

he used some of his first paycheque he got from shido on a hellofresh subscription thinking it would help him figure out how to cook for himself and it went so poorly (fire) that he decided it was better to stick to instant foods/convenience store bento

24) What’s your favourite thing about [character]?

this is so hard to put into words. idk it makes me a little insane that he tried to ask the pt for help ("it is even possible that he is being controlled by someone") despite claiming to hate them he finds genuine camaraderie with them. bro really thinks he has a perfect facade but also randomly trauma dumps. i love him. he goes out of his way to protect the rest of the pt on 11/20 by telling shido he can arrange something "after the election" (since he was fully planning on betraying shido by that point) because he doesn't want to hurt them. he didn't even want to hurt akira. the siu director literally says the medjed/okumura plan was "much too brutal to be [goro's] own idea". head in my hands. also he quite literally saves sumire's life. it's one of the very last things he does before he disappears ;-;

25) What’s your least favourite thing [character] said or did?

idk when he fucking DIED? ik the "death=redemption" thing is bigger in jpn but i don't like it :( i need him to face the consequences of his actions. also that weird scene circa third palace where he's weirdly mean to makoto and not his like. regular grumpy mean but just being a dick for no reason ("you're just the good girl kind of pushover") like literally what was that about dude. you're supposed to still be the detective prince at this point

#tysm sil i love you #asks

[lolosrollercoaster]

so - back on an I need to write this out to process it and I guess im sharing it mood.

So ... been looking for a job since April, took a bit of a break in May but was supposed to be back in it by now but I'm just. exhausted. the depression has come back full force and I'm now lk desperate and financially stressed af.

So anyways, all of these months I kept just mass applying when I could get myself to with the full resume I had - no changes. no tailoring it to an application etc. and then I decided to apply again to this one place in sept - even though last year when I applied I hadn't had much luck, but this time around there was a position very similar to my last one - and I was lk fuck it I gotta do it.

in the mean time I've kinda been going to a psychiatrist since lk august to be evaluated bc I think I might also have ADHD. But anyways she thinks that I need to leave my house, see ppl and rejoin life in order to see if my problems are from lack of doing anything and so my mental health is fucked bc im lk stuck at home feeling useless or if its because of something else - lk idk something is inherently wrong with me lol. I think she'd shit on me if I said that out loud to her. she's kinda cool - lk intimidating cool but not in a bad way. she's just such a no nonsense person and she'll read you lk you're an open book you cant get much past her.

my mom had to go in to share what she'd seen happening with me (aka lk the outsiders perspective of what changes can be seen in me since Ive been mentally fucked) and she was so nervous ahahaha and then in the end she was lk wait do I want an appointment with her for myself? my mom is a whole character. if only y'all knew.

anyways back to the job thing, so she told me to apply to anything, I just needed to get a routine going again. so I applied to a bunch of things. and then I got a message about a grocery store job on indeed and tried to reply but I couldn't help but feel a bit sad bc I thought man I finally got a grown up job and now I'm back to my OG job roots, back to the grocery store life. And honestly I think a lot of my extended family has fucked me up on that bc they're so snobbish about these jobs. ANYWAYS so I didnt hear anything back after I answered them 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I thought ok . and around that time I had stopped applying.

fast forward to the past 2 weeks - my dog got sick, I got sick - we had the worst flu, I've had the worst period of the last few years, ive been out of it, my mom has been out of it, my dog has been out of it - also right - my grandmas death etc. (truly Oct is kinda dead to me now. so yay on that 😭 one less thing to look forward to which is sad when you didn't have much left) but yeah so then I see this email late Friday evening - which shit I usually check my email daily but this time I had forgotten bc id been sick - it was an email from Wednesday from that job I'd applied in sept that was a lot lk the one I'd left earlier in the year. and they wanted to interview me this week - Wednesday or Thursday. I managed to reply as soon as I saw it. and then I got a confirmation that Monday for it - it was an in person interview today.

I tried to prep for it as best as I could while physically dying a bit - bc lk I said been experiencing the period from hell. And yknow what that means? I'm so fucking emotionally wrecked atm- so anyways my dad drove me I somehow managed to be there, I was early, dressed professionally and everything - had even practiced some answers ... and then idk man - I think I fucked it up. They asked follow ups or clarifications of my answers but by the end I wasn't sure how to feel except man definitely didn't get that. they told me they'd make a decision by next week and let me know either way.

and the worse or weirdest part is I've spent the past few days since I found out about it trying to downplay it - lk its fine, you don't need this, if it's for you then it will be for you and if it isn't then it isn't. but I felt so sad walking out - lk idk I just got that feeling that they didn't like me. so now I'm all sad - even if all I've felt recently is that idgaf anymore and I'm ok with just dying - bc yup I got that passive suic*dal ideation down to a routine now. anyways - if anyone has any words of encouragement I'll take them but yeah I am sad .... and I have little to nothing left to give. it's been draining to say the least. and the worst part is I know my parents are just going to be encouraging and even my psychiatrist -she told me that I would get a job and it wouldn't matter who and if for some reason I didn't get something I should just think of it "well they weren't capable of seeing how great you are and what an asset you'd be to their team and that's fine because that just means it is not the job for you" but it still makes me sad know? I have trouble letting go of things and I'm way too hard on myself so it's just - A LOT.

anyways thats my life update.

#unemployment #sad thoughts

[starfxckersinc]

i mean, unappreciative bc I’m one of two ppl who stopped outside the drug store to help that lady, i offered to meet up with my friend’s roommate and give them some of my magic pain medicine for their chronic pain to take back to my friend, I show up I do the work i play instruments at night until I’m physically exhausted idk. i starved myself to make sure somebody took care of you, i refused to let one of ur ex-friends snitch on u abt ur drug abuse to ur abusive mom. i DID defend you the first time my therapist suggested u were sexist and I didn’t the second time bc I couldn’t. i called in bc ur friend asked me to. people get so mad at me they don’t even listen to what I’m saying man and then years later it comes out that like oh damn u were trying to do a good thing, even if u fucked up. i just idk. part of it is definitely ego bc I suppose kindness should inherently go unremarked, but i feel unappreciated, i really do. i mean I feel like I try so hard and people just do not care. i got cheated on & my first best friend afterwards told me they were in love w me then slept w somebody else after assuring me they weren’t going to, bc they were in love with me, then ghosted me. & idk man other people are here for me too, I’m not totally shut off from kindness or patience and I’m so lucky to have such good siblings and a good therapist. but goddamn, “i laugh so hard i nearly choke, when i think about myself”

#aberdeen spoken word #and none of these relationships did I handle perfectly or never do sth wrong in #& never was I a perfect martyred emblem of kindness & empathy #but oh my god can we respect the effort. at some point

[castle-dominion]

5x1

I need to leave for work in 15 mins (by which I mean 30) but I can watch the first 5 mins of 5x1.

The audio cutting is interesting...

*intense scene about killing ppl* *wakes up after a sexy night*

"that part" lol He's so smiley! RC: So…You’re on—one board with this, right? It’s not some “Oh, I—I quit my job, I almost died, I’m in crisis” thing? Girl go back & say "I apologize, I would like to have my job back pls." RC: So what would you, um… *starts taking off her shirt* …like to do today? I like her hair

MARTHA The CLOSET? Martha totally would have heard them arguing. WE??? the way she blows her hair I love it.

Of course she is hungover! RC: Well, Alexis, as your father, I have to say that I am .. deeply disappointed in you, and yet oddly proud. Becks get out! Out! Out!

Poor ryan, he has no team but at least gates is helping. Oh yeah negatives! Ah the vice P's security detail meaning ryan doesn't even have people there who are not his usual team.

Yucky torture

At least he is apologizing or smth... Why would he be embarrassed about being seen with you? RC: And, call me selfish, but I want to keep what we have together to ourselves a bit longer. KB: Still, it wasn’t your finest hour. RC: No. RC, approaching: But maybe I could…make it up to you…somehow. KB: I suppose since we know that you’re mom’s not gonna be barging in, we could go for a round two. RC: Well, technically it would be a round four, but— *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* RC: She’s stalking us. She knows. KB: Who is it? KR: (O.S.) Beckett, it’s Ryan! KB: *relieved face* RC: Oh. KB: Hide. Quick, in the closet over there. RC: Yeah, I’m not getting in there. KB: Why? I hid in your closet, why can’t you hide in mine? RC: Why should I? KB: Becau… KR, still through the door: Beckett, is everything okay? ((because after all, she did just almost fall & quit her job & they're dealing with her shooter & she is not responding much & this could very well be a hostage situation where someone is telling you what to do & say)) KB: Fine! [Beckett turns back to Castle.] KB: Okay, maybe I’m not ready for anyone to know yet. Right now. RC: Come on, how’s he gonna know? KB: You’re here. Just like I was there. RC: Yes. Yes, the difference being, I have my pants on. ((XD)) Or…or are you embarrassed to be seen with me? KB: Okay. Fine. Just act normal. If that’s even possible for you. [Beckett heads for the door.] RC: It’s me. ((she has a woodstove)) [Beckett prepares to open the door and looks back at Castle to make sure he’s ready. Castle awkwardly tries to strike a casual pose. Beckett opens the door and Ryan enters without waiting to be invited. He has awesome hair. He stops short when he sees Castle.] KR: Hey, Castle. What are you doing here? RC: Oh, I was just walking by…the neighbor…hood. I only live twenty… [Castle thinks for a moment.] RC: uh h…what are you doing here?

Ryan is talking so low & soft (& deep)

Castle: I know him Ryan: *sonic dub eggman voice* what are you two fucking talking about

Holy crap I only just now got to the title card? I thought I made it all the way to the title card before work yesterday!

Course no name, he would not release info like that, it is dangerous

SHe can't go back again, she broke out! She made it! "we've done this before with less to go on" like when u didn't have a body RC: And I’m not so bad myself.

Castle KNOWS that watch? rly?

Heck yeah protests Ooh esposito moments! Oh no he's going to be vigilanteing Wait nvm he's at the army surplus store-- wait that's a recruiting place. I'mma join the protests. I hope esposito doesn't rejoin the military. Fuck the military. (what's in the backpack?)

Ah meeting A Guy.

Didn't use his signal light Lol nice glasses & car. First names <3 Who is Cass? Didn't esposito say just last season that he never got shot? He said it was hard enough for him but beckett got shot? or was it about ryan in the second 3xk episode? JE: Only if you get caught Grunkle Stan: If there are no cops around, anything's legal

Bro don't just wipe the drive, destroy it too. He's a cop, he knows how to destroy evidence

"friend of mine" "you need to help me"

Only 17! Wow

Legal team? Johanna beckett?

Ryan all frustrated Knows the name of officer Hoban

All this detectiving, love it

Course it was a burner lmao I love how ryan is using his desk & esposito's at the same time, he is wheeling between computers rolling between lol

SMITH THAT'S THE NAME & LOOK HE'S THERE

She just broke down his door? she has a personal gun? (I can see that) NO MAN'S DEAD QUICK TAKE IT OUT OF THE FIRE if maddox only JUST was here putting the stuff in the fire, then he might still be nearby HE;S ALIVE

you're right she is not safe...

86? like when you have no more product to make a dish to sell? My chef brain lol. Could be like "86th street & xyz avenue" but he was too out-of-it to finsih his sentence

RC: No. smith is too smart to only keep one copy and in his apartment. He’s too careful for that. It’s…it’s a code, and the answer’s here somewhere. Sh'es right, y'all ought to run Yes, if there is a straw you SHOULD grasp.

Does he own the whole building? Firebox safe? Wow they already found it? lmao that was fast

WAIT IS THAT THE BOX THAT WE SAW AT THE END OF S3? THE ONE MONTY SENT STUFF TO?

Why didn't maddox find it first? he was here first

CM: Turn around. Hands behind your back. Why behind your back? I'd say hands up, visible, or on your head. After that, then I'd suggest turning so you are facing away from me/CM & then the hands were to be behind their backs

Steals her gun (like ryan?)

This is a floor safe? oh wait no that's why he's here he followed them! why doesn't he kill them?

Me, a fiddler, we carry zip nail clippers ok first of all that is a very loose zip tie also don't y'all know how to get out of zip ties/duck tape?

RC: If we got murdered right now, I’d feel so ripped off!

JE out of nowhere: Done what four years ago?

Nice, his name still is CM, cedric marks, cole maddox, perfect for me to type

How did u put a bolo out & have a uniform spot it & tell u? u'r on leave

Nice shoes & ankle gun lmao RC: Nice. What about for me? JE, surprised & angry: Oh, you mean an extra extra piece?

that is typically not how opening a safe works

He's still moving tho lmao they can't see him aim over his shoulder? (which,, u can't aim)

Espt grabbed becks out one way, now she's on the other side?

JE: ... He’s gone.

VG: So, let me see if I understand. As luck would have it, you three were in the neighborhood taking a walk?

VG: I am not interested, Mr. Castle, as you specialize in fiction.

Maddox is there because he was trying to kill beckett & then he was close to her when he died, duh

RC: Bad karma JE: *hits him*

Ryan KNOWS it is the file & is still keeping their secret!

Why would smith tell castle where the file is if it was just going to blow up?

*gives beckett a beer but not castle*

I love how they both draw their personal guns & castle grabs a weapon & I'mma clip this * then he just RECOILS & esposito doesn't put down his gun for the longest time

But also that gun is probably loaded & cocked with the safety off bc they expect it to be someone trying to kill them,, that's dangerous af & then adresses beckett not esposito

montgomery, lockwood, other names... I should do a puzzl e today also nice music

Yeah well I got ending balance <3

It's been five hours? Ages long

you still remember the password? They didn't change it? Nice dirty bomb episode callback

Dang this man is a politician?? lmao this is insane

KB: And then he realized that he couldn't charge mobsters because they wouldn't testify and then the cops would walk. KR: So instead, he decided to get in on the action. If they were collecting ransom from mob guys, he wanted a taste in the form of cash money orders.

It is SO late at night probably, why r they calling him? Let's say it was 5pm when they cracked out the beers & ryan arrived, so it is 10pm, not /that/ late ig...

Why did this cop let these two in?

How does he breathe out through his nose if he has a thing in it?

What favour did he do? not just murder becks. Not just the murder of your mom.

Good idea. Disappear.

Becks using her interrogation skills

How long have they had that phone call outside?

What kind of encouragement?

that was NOT dispatch babe

What if that was HIM disappearing, NOT him getting assassinated

I love the way we see her reflection in the TV

ofc they were disabled

Why does ryan have TWO teams? Someplace she'll be safe but b'y what abt your family

Wow interesting picture thing there,,, like murdoch's brain oof that picture switch was good

Aww she put him up in her bed

Nice sit straight upright with that musical sting or w/e it is

I did- I DO ryan's jacket gives him a good waist. espt's outfit is great too GOSH RYAN STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT & DANG HE PRETTY

ryan's badge number is 42344 for all u fanfic writers

Espt looks at castle as if he's the reason becks is going after him

thought that camera was a gun for a sec Hastings <3 But doesn't she know becks is on admin leave & also quit? Love love love the music

Ryan running thru with his badge

Monty really loved her

She slipped her phone in his pocket? no someone else's phone, a cheap burner or smth love his ring

Why is she revealing her location to him

He's right, probs shouldn't ring that bell but also what if ryan was just looking smth up? & becks has had an hour head start, if she wanted to kill him, she may have already done so unless she's planning on hiding the body well & destroying evidence

Your frigging arm, first names, & then he gives espt his phone bc he knows he doesn't trust himself with his phone or smth idk bro or he knows espt doesn't trust him

"ms beckett" ooh this is the private meeting with the donor lol WB: Never expect that from a politician

Is this story even true? I mean... yeah I can see that but did you do that?

I mean,, that may be true but u also killed a bunch of ppl & are killing more to cover it up? Oooooh that music, it was written backwards He's really good at this, he knows this, he really is a politician, he is good at talking. Hitler & trump & those guys might be way off the side but they were good at speaking

He's right tho, it is not about the power, & also didn't he just say if she had the file she wouldn't need him to say the truth?

She memorized it?

you don't know the details of smith's arrangement tho, don't say you want to make that your deal now!!! Or anyone I care about <3 (also good on her in this bluff) She's right... He really is intimidated...

Nah facial wounds heal well... I have a cut on my nose & it has been like maybe four to six & a half years & it is basically gone, I can barely see it even if I'm looking

btw her outfit is nice

Castle if she killed him u would have heard the shot

Was she putting a ring on just there?

the gift that keeps on giving

KB: I…I don’t know. VG, calmly: I don’t believe you. VG: You’re covering for someone, and I know who it is. But I don’t intend to dig up the past and tarnish Roy Montgomery’s reputation. The fact is, I…I admire your loyalty. I hope you feel that for me someday.

KB: Well, I have to serve out my suspension, same as Esposito. ((So true)) RC: What are you gonna do in the meantime? KB: Oh, I’m pretty sure I’ll think of something. *feels him up below the camera but the elevator doors are still open*

ok I am trying rly hard to get thru these eps in only an hour & a half or less bc I need to give back the DVDs too soon

#castle 5x1 #castle 5x1 spoilers #castle 5x1 quote #castle s5 spoilers #the suspension episode