au Fic idea i may or may not write so am just throwing it out there (spoilers for end of s1)
When they find Ceelia, she asks about Nathan’s blood, they decide to find his father, she asks Analise to undo her so that they can take her heart with them for Nathan to eat.
“I was supposed to protect you. Bloods say a little part of you lives on, I want you to have it, so that little part can protect you when I’m gone.”
While they’re having this conversation, Gabriel has started to try and staunch the bleeding.
Annalise refuses and Nathan says, “You’re not getting out of this so easily, just hang on and you can use your power to protect me yourself, if you’re so hung up about it.”
Ceelia says that she’ll just slow them down, Gabriel says that they’re not going to do it, so she might as well do her damndest to stay alive as long as she can until they get back from getting Nathan his blood, because fuck if they know how fresh the heart has to be.
Ceelia nods, takes over putting pressure on her wound, and says the “To the friends at our table” etc, and settles in to wait as long as they can.
When Nathan meets his dad, when he asks for the third gift, he asks if Marcus has any healing powers he’d be willing to use to help him. Marcus says, after doing the ‘find out who you are’ bit that if Soul killed his Hunters, then he almost certainly has healing somewhere in the mix.
When Soul is dead, and Annalise sees Nathan staring at the heart, she goes to say something, but before she can, Nathan repeats what Marcus had told him about the healing.
Annalise says that she knows, and even if eating her father’s heart didn’t have the chance to ensure that Nathan wouldn’t have to eat Ceelia’s, she’d have told him to anyway, because all those people he killed deserve to live on, like her uncle and Nathan’s grandmother.
Nathan eats the heart, and they book it back to Wolfhagen where Ceelia is hanging on to the barest threads of life, body frosted over in her last attempt at slowing her death/keeping her heart fresh enough to pass down her power.
Nathan is able to heal her enough that she’s not in immediate danger of dying, and he, Gabriel and Annalise manage to get her to a car to take them somewhere safe.
Possible following events: Ceelia training all of them, plans to kill Mercury and seize her blood stores so they can use them for Blood Witches whose families have been killed, getting into contact with others to help them resolve stuff maybe? (possibly starting with ppl who used to work for Mercury like Gabriel cause that shit was fucked)(possibly Annalise’s mom, bc i think that the theory that she’s also got Decimation bc Annalise has never really seen her use her ‘water’ power)
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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genuinely the way taylor clearly falls hard and fast and hopelessly in love every single time is very endearing. writing "this happens once every few lifetimes" and "no one's ever had me, not like you" on the same album that covers the breakdown of two relationships that were also seemingly destined and life changing and unmatched by anyone else is exactly what makes her so good at writing about relationships. if a songwriter doesn't feel everything with their whole chest and throw their whole being into it then I don't want it
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
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