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officecyborg · 4 months

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I emerge from the Berseria mines covered in blood 96 hours later. What an ending, huh? In the most “Tales of Berseria” move ever, all of the party members’ sendoffs are fantastic except for Velvet’s, which not only fails to stick the landing, but falls down the stairs and tumbles into a clown pie.

Laphicet: I mean yeah, even outside of the prequel connection, the game was building up to him becoming an Empyrean the whole way through. He starts as a character who does exactly as he’s told with no sense of self; his evil friends teach him how to be selfish and thus how to be a person, and he flips this lesson on its head by choosing to stubbornly, “selfishly” give everyone on earth a second chance. A little sad, but fitting.

Rokurou: All the demons on earth are cured, but he chooses not to be? Love that for him. Speaks to both an acceptance of his nature and something like penance for Shigure. And I really like how he’s… almost a folk hero in the epilogue, except you know he’s doing it because he loves murder (and wants Eleanor to train hard enough to strike him down lol).

Eleanor: Eleanor is the Artorius to Laphicet’s Innominat, so it only makes sense that they would end up as an Empyrean and a pseudo-Shepherd. Except crucially, she’s not an actual Shepherd, she’s acting as Eleanor, a person who helps people. She’s grown and moved past the need for an authority figure to tell her right from wrong.

Eizen: His personal plot is quite melancholy and overshadowed by his looming eventual death, but a nice wrap-up nonetheless. Eizen first went out to sea to be alone from everyone; Aifread changed that, but then he disappeared. But by the end, he’s forged true connections with the party, the crew, and other Malakhim like Zaveid and Edna. While he circles around to his original circumstances as the ghost haunting the ship, we know he’s not really “alone”, simply through his changed attitude. The crew can’t see him, but he doesn’t feel separate from them, instead serving as a weird sort of guardian angel.

Magilou: Okay real talk, the one part of Zestiria that made me genuinely emotional was Magilou’s grave. This is a character who was so severely abused that she completely emotionally disengaged. Her catchphrase was “I don’t care.” In the epilogue, she’s back to being one of the few humans who can see spirits, she’s still a wisecracking, wandering sleazebag, but she’s not fortune-telling—she’s writing. You cannot write if you don’t care about anything (I say from experience lol). And now, because Velvet sacrificed herself to save the world, she cares about the entire world and everyone in it, enough to chronicle all the mundane details of their lives. A+, tearing up, no critiques.

And then… Velvet. Geez.

Look, Tales of the Abyss is one of my favourite games. I fully think it’s possible to pull off an ending where the self-destructive protagonist comes to realize they do want to live, after all, just in time to die tragically. But this was not it. I think my extreme dislike of her ending comes down to three factors:

I do not like Laphicet Crowe. Forget the themes for a second—I could buy Velvet, as a character, choosing the “selfish” option at the end, and essentially choosing to go to hell with her brother, mirroring what Celica did for her… if I cared about him at all. But I don’t. They never sold me on Laphi C. being a good kid; he comes off as a surly little misogynist. Velvet can try to find the part of Innominat that’s still her brother if she wants, but I am not convinced.

Okay now stop forgetting the themes. It spits in the face of her character arc. Remember Eizen’s speech about how you don’t have to be biologically related to someone to be family? Remember good-Laphicet’s whole takedown speech about how Velvet doesn’t belong to Innominat? Remember how like three minutes earlier, the comb symbolizing the Crowe siblings’ relationship shattered? It’s over! Laphi C. is dead! She’s not beholden to shit!

Consolation prize heaven sucks. Again, if this was a different game, I might (might) accept the idea of these characters being in hell but getting to live on in a dream world bittersweet. But in this game, idyllic dream worlds are explicitly a form of psychological torture that, again, Velvet specifically had to overcome as part of her character arc. That’s just plain bitter. ):

Oh also it’s just shot in a really creepy way. Come on. That’s creepy. Why did they do that.

It really feels like (and this would be in line with how the games were developed) they had this ending in mind before they came up with the middle of the game, or anything else.

In conclusion, the only ending I acknowledge is this:

#berseria blogging #read this if you like posts that are long as hell

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mightyflamethrower · 4 months

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At the end of the year, we are on the razor’s edge of many things that soon may blow up.

Americans are far beyond President Joe Biden’s serial untruths of some eight years that he never discussed Hunter Biden’s various get-rich-quick schemes.

All were predicated on the perception of foreign interests purchasing from the Biden family the influence of then-senator, vice president, and possibly soon-to-be President Joe Biden.

The Bidens now risk exposure to criminal charges of multimillion-dollar tax fraud, perjury, influence selling, and bribery as congressional committees and a special prosecutor unravel years of tangled-up quid pro quos.

A newly indicted Hunter remains reckless and unpredictable. He continues to publicly blame his mounting legal problems on everyone and everything other than his own selfish excesses.

Hunter deliberately involves his family and may even bring down his own father. His tax lawyers have previously threatened to call President Joe Biden to testify on his behalf under oath.

He continues to court public scandal by hawking amateurish “representational” paintings to the quid-pro-quo wealthy and wannabes wishing clout with the White House.

His laptop messages reveal a prodigal son angry that his bagman services were never fully appreciated by his familial beneficiaries.

Hunter’s wayward laptop is a felonious trove of drug-addled, illicit Petronian excess and sex, interspliced with his self-incriminating family communications on the distributions of pay-for-play payoffs.

Hunter’s business aides will be called back to elaborate on their already incriminating testimonies.

The contents of Joe Biden’s various alias emails will soon see new scrutiny.

Given Biden’s physical and ethical frailties, age, and bad polling, the left-wing media and Democratic hierarchy may cease circling the wagons around him. Instead, some may fuel the effort to sandbag a 2024 Biden candidacy by releasing or even leaking incriminating evidence.

Harvard President Claudine Gay’s tenure is even more tenuous than Biden’s. Harvard can either claim to be the nation’s preeminent academic institution or continue to protect a plagiarist as president—not both.

It can profess to be at the center of academia’s moral and intellectual universe, but not if its president cannot punish those on campus who daily call for the destruction of Israel and the genocide of the Jewish people. Gay cannot lie to Congress that Harvard in the past has also allowed “hate speech” against entire groups the way it now allows against Jews.

Nor is it sustainable for Gay to fob off calls for her resignation as “racist.” In fact, the more the public learns about her academic career, the more she seems to be a lifetime beneficiary, not a victim of racially-weighted policies.

Since the October 7 Hamas massacre of 1,200 Jews, anti-Israeli/pro-Hamas protests, often violent, have swept the Western world, particularly in the big cities and on campuses of America.

Protestors no longer distinguish being anti-Israeli from being anti-Jewish. Now they just openly mouth anti-Semitic chants and harass individual Jews.

Almost every hallowed monument—from the Lincoln Memorial to the White House gates, nearly every cherished national icon from the famed Christmas tree in New York’s Rockefeller Center to New York’s Naivety scene, and our most famous infrastructure from the Manhattan Bridge to the Golden Gate Bridge—has either been swarmed, defaced, or disrupted by pro-Hamas demonstrators.

Americans are growing weary of these escalating protests for a variety of reasons. Most remember that the October 7 war started not with Israeli preemptive attacks on an independent Gaza, but only after Hamas killers launched a sneak attack to commit atrocities against Jews residing in Israel.

The current war is waged between a constitutional state of free elections and a cruel, autocratic terrorist clique.

Indeed, Hamas has refused negotiations over a ceasefire that would have led to internationally conducted free elections for the people of Gaza—something forbidden by enriched Hamas kingpins ensconced in luxury abroad.

Many of the loudest and most violent anti-Jewish protestors in the U.S. are immigrants, green card holders, or on student visas. That fact is confusing to Americans.

Why would those who have fled despotic regimes in the Middle East to study, work, or reside in a free America, once safely here, rally for the very dictatorships they left behind and apparently do not wish to return to?

Why trash the very foundation and values of their American hosts that ensure their newfound freedoms?

For weeks, the American people have been relatively silent as they digested these ongoing catastrophes. But at some point, their patience will run out.

Americans will then collectively conclude that Joe Biden has never been truthful about vast ill-gotten funds that have enriched his family; that Harvard is no longer preeminent or even prestigious; and that people who do not like us, our laws, and our values should try cheering on the work of Hamas from their own homes.

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elvesofnoldor · 7 months

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the moment where lestat refused to embrace true death as a mortal man and said that he is not sorry that he did not let nature run its course and let death take claudia when she was a human child, claudia's ghost was so taken by surprise, she paused and said, "wow you really ARE evil" live in my head rent free. girlie me too!! i do not know what we expected!!! i mean, she sure killed him dead but she also thought louis was her mother at the time (louis was unfortunately more of the big bad wolf that took her away from her mother than her mother) and plus lestat had deserved it for creating her but i digress. the point is, this whole time, in the tale of the body thief, claudia was trying to get lestat to remember that he did not find happiness in those 60 years he spent with louis because of what louis did or said, but because during those decades he had claudia and he had loved her as his own child and daughter. This whole time, claudia was trying to tell him that romantic fulfillment will not save him and that hopelessly craving for it will only lead him to hurt other people and hurt himself even more, and that if he can just let go of his pain, he can finally find peace and joy and he can finally go home with her. claudia was like, you know you were capable of genuine love and you had love me the way a father would his child and the way a mother would her daughter, right???? so i thought??? since you are capable of genuine goodness, you would also be capable of making a good decision??? but no, you have to go out of your way to make the worst possible choice. you cannot let the destruction of your self takes place, even if it means to be truly good, even if it allows you to achieve the only thing you crave to achieve for centuries. you have to be the most infuriating anti-hero ever. and since you can't truly be Good, you decide that if you cannot obtain sainthood you will absolutely have to be act like Lucifer Himself. there is apparently no middle ground. there is no apparently no "acting as good as you can possibly manage in your limited selfish existence"--which is really what being human really about, but lestat! does not wish to #Make the Effort. lestat has to act like God himself is paying him 1 million/hour to be his personal Devil on earth, but he's not getting a dime doing the shit he did. is he trying to beef up his resume to get the position of God's Personal Devil On Earth? even if that were the case, this bitch wouldn't even pass the initial screening let alone getting an interview! cause he actually sucked ass at being evil!! he procrastinated for months trying not to be cruel and mean and then eventually did the one truly diabolical and cruel thing that he did and had to immediately go crying and screaming and throwing up and feeling miserable about it because he did not like doing that thing. he did all that shit for what!!! for free!!! evil is scary, evil is fascinating, evil is banal and evil is also fucking stupid. lestat had to make the Worst Timeline decision and now claudia had to go haunt Louis' ass in Merrick cause it's not like she got anything else to do stuck on earth as a ghost.

#reading vampire chronicles is like playing the mine detecting microsoft mini game #there is always at least one mine in these books and every time i encounter them they blew my ass into a million pieces #idk if i can make it to the prince lestat trilogy alive #i will get to mavrick and get louis get bbq content and thought it'd have my satisification but knowing anne rice #she will probably just make him so pitiful i will get 0 satisfaction smh #mae overshares

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madraleen · 6 months

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stray thoughts on attack on titan~ (full manga spoilers) (this was sitting in my drafts)

-this coming off of fanon depictions: imo there is no version of eren where he is toxic, has swagger, has rizz, is smooth, or has the broody smolder vibe. he is many, many things, but these ain't it.

-also this coming off of something that i read: eren knows that what he is doing is wrong in the grand scheme of things. at no point does he think he's the hero. he thinks he's a monster for what he's doing, but still needs to do something to get the power to break the cycle and bring about change. he does not resent his friends for opposing him. he manipulates them TO oppose him, he needs them to oppose him, he wants them to oppose him, because a) what he's doing is wrong and must be judged and punished, and b) he's gonna do it anyway, for the world and the people he loves and his ideal of freedom and his thirst for destruction, so he must make his friends the heroes of it to bring out of it as much "good" as possible.

-eren does everything he can to bring his friends to a mindset of being able to kill him, he agrees with them that he should be killed, and even then, they can't quite do it (even jean was like "i didn't think that would kill you" when he blows the founder's head off). even then, the real final blow only comes after mikasa comes to understand eren through kindness. her way of communicating with eren, her understanding of eren, has always been through kindness; she's always been kind to him, and she's always only seen him as fundamentally kind. she manages to stop him only after they spend soft moments in paths!switzerland. eren's friends are truly ride or die (as is he). even in the end, they still are on the same side - the "kill eren" side.

-if mikasa is married to the unknown man, i'd rather it's jean than a npc. i find the thought comforting and sweet.

-now that i've sat with the ending and reframed things in its context, i'm fine with it. yes, some things were rushed etc, but i'm not fretting about it. it has really good moments, and moments that are okay but could have been better. it ties in with the rest of the story just fine. the characters are in character. the events that came before logically lead to this conclusion. verdict: "it's fine, don't worry about it."

-i absolutely love that eren has a breakdown in the end. i absolutely love that we see his core self again. i love that it's ugly and pathetic and human, just an emotionally stunted, traumatized 19-year-old boy shaped in the context of never-ending atrocious events, who's carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, has been living concurrently in the past, present and future, has pushed away everyone he loves and hasn't had time to process anything but survival for years. i think it makes sense that he breaks down when he's at his most vulnerable, when he's about to die and has his last chat with his best friend while they're seeing the sights they always dreamed of seeing together. i also don't think it's ~bad of him to have those thoughts about mikasa. i think it's human. not commendable, not right, but human. plus, he never tells her those things, so he's selfless in his selfishness- a constant for eren's character.

-in my first read, i thought eren/mikasa was a little random. now i'm like "ofc it's eren/mikasa, what else would it be, IT'S EREN/MIKASA, they're IT!"

-i actually like how armin treats eren in the end, always did. i thought it absolutely consistent with their friendship and armin's character, and the point in time that they're having this conversation.

-i'm fine with ymir's thing and mikasa's choice. i still think it could have been more seamlessly executed and tied in to what's come before, or at least phrased better, but the thing in and of itself, i'm fine with.

#attack on titan #attack on titan manga #shingeki no kyojin #manga #manga commentary

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selormohene · 7 months

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day 83 (sunday, september 24th 2023)

Writing Monday, as per.

I've realised that a lot of interpersonal strife can be resolved by learning how to say no. Of course I'm thinking of this in a specific context, that of dating and casual connections, but also friendships as well, and I'm sure the idea generalises. Let's say you aren't interested in someone anymore, or you don't like the way their political views have changed since you guys went to school a few years ago, or you don't trust yourself to be able to have meaningful conversation with them because you oppose the religion around which they've built their entire lives, or you haven't been able to work through the complicated feelings which attended the last time you were in close contact. Of course it would very often resolve things if you simply were able to communicate these sentiments to the people in question straightforwardly, and were willing to accept whatever reaction ensued. This would include both accepting whatever reasonable negative reactions were to result (accepting that the person might respond by keeping you at a greater distance than you had originally hoped, for instance) and being able to conduct yourself properly in the face of unreasonable negative reactions (maintain your boundaries, stand up for your reasons, protect yourself from vindictive responses if need be).

Part of the problem is how these things start, and here I'm thinking more about casual relationships and nascent friendships, or even the beginning of friendly acquaintance — because part of what makes these things so interesting is that these three sorts of relationships often start out from a common root, and in fact often exist in a state of superposition until a conversation or a crucial moment collapses the wavefunction. But anyway, there's an issue with how they start, but also with how the way they start influences the way they end. Nobody quite wants to be vulnerable at the outset, but also nobody wants to be prickly, and also people don't really have the proper connection to be genuinely positive. So what one has instead is a sort of easy-come easy-go false positivity, where one peppers one's sentences with lots of exclamation points and tries not to push too hard, and overemphasises small points of commonality, or sometimes even ignores red flags or tries to rationalise them even though in the long term that should be a sign that this isn't going to work, or what have you. What that does is that it prevents or disincentivises people from expressing disagreement, or from genuinely assessing a situation in the interests of everyone involved, or from saying something that might be too risky, and so on. But then it's precisely the inability to be properly vulnerable or honest that makes it the case that you can't make light conversation and have a chill date, or hang out with this person within more of a party context if it's more of a friendship thing, and then all of a sudden decide you don't like this person and say so in the most forthright manner possible, because it would be an unaccountable switch-up. So instead you have to make up excuses, or you just ignore the person in question, or whatever.

Anyway, this is another consequence of the fact that ultimately you cannot cheat the order of things. It's funny how many philosophical systems, from the Kantian to the Taoist to the Heideggerean to the Stoic, ultimately come down to this, in some form or other. The reason that underlies the world as it is (or the suprarational principle, if you're a Taoist or a Heideggerean) is such that attempting to exploit it — to go against it in pursuit of self-interest — will ultimately just come back to bite you. It will lead you into disattunement and contradiction and frustration. The will to selfishness and to self (here defined as a normative structure that attempts to oppose the order of things for the sake of its own self-maintenance) is ultimately the will to self-destruction, and the ability to renounce the self results in being reconciled with the order of things. Obviously there are disagreements on the ethical nature of this order of things, but the point is that you can't start out by trying to gain an advantage without having to pay your debt later. All immorality is ultimately reducible to irrationality. Wicked people create their own opposition, and ultimately live in a hell of their own making. (Obviously there are caveats, natural disasters and so on, but here we're thinking about the causal structure of the human world primarily, but a lot of this also applies to attempts to cheat nature itself.) And I think learning this lesson is ultimately one of the most important steps on one's journey to actualising the spark of the divine at the core of one's being.

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cosmicangel888 · 1 year

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The Act of Self Love ~ New REALITY Creation

Any intention behind any act, words, deeds of past, or in the now; all is and will reveal

Those that choose what they choose out of their own inner damage, pain, denial to heal, denial to be truthful; that is their making of their world, you do not have to go on that path with them, anyone that you engage and entangle with, their energies, their intentions will affect you and the blessings, blockages, and whatever it is they resonate at;

The impact of how others live, behave, intend, for the most part is the lesson of mastery to fully be you, while not engaging, or entangling or paying any attention to what is not of your vibrational match or interest - even if they are family - you don't have to buy in to traditions that only take, siphon, throw blame, and take 0 accountability for where they sit in their life -

Every soul on our planet have unique pacing, temperament, experience, maturity to process light, new levels of vibrational potential, releasing of stagnant and staunch dogma, and beliefs that are damaging and harmful; it is not your role to do anothers work, or hold their hand - all have the spirit and guidance within them, and as our guides do within us; empowering us at every stage while not interfering is key to all divinity within creation reaching its highest potential of Oneness with Source; self love and self knowing, self seeking - the outer is not all there is - there is magnificence in all moments

Universal Laws & How Energy, Others Affect You

you can earn karma if you are not following your truth and moving on your higher path while waiting on, cleaning up, or being the balancing act for those that live in selfish, immature destruction

not all souls have the same evolutionary speed, or ability to process light nor they should - not all want to take accountability for their mental, emotional and spiritual state of being, that 100% affects their physical state of being and that 100% affects all life around them

Accept what is in front of you to move beyond - accept the mess and discern with your own spiritual guidance what is yours to offer and what is another's to correct;

you create truth, closure, clearing, moving on, the grieving and healing of past abuses and trauma - none do this for you - never wait on anyone to do 'the right thing' for if someone has caused the depths of damage that some do; they are simply not in alignment with their heart, conscience to do so - thus then, bring it to yourself - know that God, their guides, soul, will distribute equal lessons, levels of karma and blockages until the sitting and facing the choices, and affecting our collective Oneness, all-ness, and the innocent

All affects the all - future timelines, future bodies, health, peace, further actions and aspects - ALL AFFECT THE ALL

All are accountable - when you are recognizing when something is not in justice or fairness; bring truth forward; even if you are the only one speaking a higher order truth; this is how true and real change occurs; the Heavens will support you

you cannot expect change if you do not make it; it always begins within; who are you, what do you exist within, and what is within you

Send love and be compassionate from afar - you can be ok in re-writing traditions and a win/win in which all are respected in their beliefs and ways of life and none interfere and cause damage and trauma or pain - all is possible and it is a question of how mature, how intentional and take action to live in a higher space of self care, peace, and honouring all life;

You do not have to take on the karma and energy of anyone; mastery and ascension is about letting go, forgiveness, and you don't have to forget, but make it very clear - that the past is done, closed, and you get to move on from what has not been truthful, honouring, sacred, and divine - all have a choice -

Life from here on out will be inspired to be in greater simplicity * is this serving me and is it simple and honouring of me, my expression, my life path

you do not have to continue to give, take the leaps of Faith with those that none have done for you and none have the level of honesty and good will that you do

send away what is not in truth; do not engage or entangle with what is not yours - allow all to learn and grow from what they have chosen

The past doesn't have to hold you back, none have the power or right; simply move on -

Love yourself enough to change the story, alter the characters by walking away - changing within first - change the inner realm first - self love is everything - when you love yourself, you would never take, harm, create harm, or drama, and chaos to or of any other

youtube

Blessings and light

Choose simple, healthy, honouring, sacred

Truth is always the portal to a new life - you deserve a new life based on truth, integrity and honouring of all life - life is divine and sacred

Healing as we ascend - all are accountable and all are responsible

Joanna

#ascension

[email protected]

#closure

#healingtrauma

#God

#Intentionsoflove

#Youtube

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ohleander · 1 year

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2.9.23

Ive been in freeze mode for a couple of days and it kinda has me a bit shook. I'm still trying to learn to keep myself and body calm but my hormones definitely feel more out of control than I'd like. A little over a year ago I thought to myself that taking testosterone might be a good option for me but I also wanted to understand my body and my baseline better before I made changes to it.. I try to respect and understand my body for what it is, but sometimes I do want to change things. I often find myself feeling the best when I have more testosterone in my cycle and less so during the other parts of my cycle. The other parts are where I feel absolutely out of my mind and I cant take it, I've read where a lot of people who start taking T feel better and more "normal" and I wonder if that would be true for me. I'm kinda interested in a low-dose to start with. I also often feel sooo disconnected from my physical body, though I try to have respect for it as well. I wonder if I'll ever get to feeling okay with myself. I still crave so much external validation. Still learning to give it to myself. Learning to not give everything I have to others has been intense. Keeping things for myself is certainly a practice.. But here I find myself holding onto so much that I either don't want or don't even realize. I still find myself shaming myself over certain things. Its silly and I'd like to keep letting go. I'll most likely always feel a bit unsure. I'll most likely always feel a bit uncomfortable. Is that my baseline? I really want so much more for myself but why don't I feel like I deserve to go after it? Why do I feel like me taking up space will take space away from others? Why do I think making room for others instead of myself is more valid? Isn't there room for us all? That's a mindset thing I'd like to change.

I don't know why all of this serious self reflection always flows right out of me. I'd like to write about other things sometime but things just don't flow so easily like they do when I think of this serious stream of consciousness stuff.

Right now I really am just kinda taking it one day at a time.. I can only do so much.. and as always I feel like I'm bracing for something big that's coming next. Its hard for me to feel okay when I feel like I cant keep up with the modern world and it makes me not even want to try. I've still got to find another way. Another way that's more effortless.

Also these days I'm feeling more clueless.. I reckon thats fine. I'm really looking to simplify my mind.. I thought it was my duty to be the wise wizard type, the nurturer but lawd.. the minute I try, it feels like something I dont want to do. I think its my self destructive tendencies.. why actually succeed and risk being a hated fool when you can self sabotage and stay ~ in control~ of your vibe, amiright? I also fear that when I'm not paying attention others will point out something I didnt see and I'll feel so dumb.. and maybe thats okay.. I fear my boss coming in and telling me I'm not doing enough.. I fear the unpredictable rejection.. unpredictable rejection is a tender core wound of mine..

I find myself faced with learning all the things I did not get during my formative times.. learning all the things and ways in which I fell short and was fallen short.. its easy to blame the parents and the way you were raised.. nurture and nature are both important. I'm still coming to understand my nature. I wish I could see myself as a valid person who can be seen in this world but I just want to nestle back and be as opposite from the vibe as possible. Modern life has you feelin guilty over NOT sharing your life.. I dont have anything to hide, I just dont really want to be SEEN so much.. just by the right people.

I'm allowed to dream big and I'm allowed to be absolutely grand and silly with it. I believe I am worthy of my biggest dreams and dreaming big is not selfish nor does it take anything away from anyone else.

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smartclinicsblog · 1 year

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How substance addiction influences your personality?

Drug and alcohol misuse can alter a person's conduct and personality to the point where they appear to be an altogether different person. They may do things that make you think, "That's not you!" while you try to figure out what motivates them. Unfortunately, scientific study reveals that addiction affects the brain, altering how it functions and upsetting its balance. Various medicines have different effects on the brain, but most produce intense dopamine waves that are highly addictive and destructive. Therefore, it is essential to reach an addiction clinic before your addiction completely ruins your personality.

Now let us look at how substance addiction influences your personality-

You engage in risky actions

Addiction frequently results in unsafe or unethical actions. Long-term substance use damages your prefrontal cortex, essential in planning, attention, emotional regulation, and self-control. It is also concerned with foresight. You are less capable of anticipating the unfavorable effects of your actions. People with drug use disorders, on the other hand, are usually too consumed with their addiction to care. Because substance abuse has become your first goal, excellent foresight and planning mean getting drugs or alcohol as quickly as possible.

You get more selfish

Addiction rewires your brain always to seek its next fix. As the condition worsens, the only thing the brain can focus on is obtaining and using drugs or alcohol. Everything else in life, even loved ones, will take a back seat. Friends and family are put on the back burner while addiction takes priority. This selfishness is frequently what causes disunity in friendships and family ties.

You become lazy

Your addiction will drain all of your vitality. While misusing any substance, previous activities such as exercising, working, and enjoying your hobbies can appear nearly impossible. A protracted sleepy feeling would consume the few minutes of entertainment provided by your substance addiction.

You lose interest in things that you used to enjoy before

One of the fundamental characteristics of addiction is that it takes over as the most crucial thing in your life, demoting everything else. Whether you prefer spending time with your family, golfing, or restoring motorbikes, your other activities will gradually give way to substance abuse. This harms your relationships for various reasons, the most important of which is that no one likes being second to substance abuse. It also implies that you waste time drinking or doing drugs rather than forming connections, mastering skills, or creating something meaningful.

The smart clinic is the best addiction clinic in Calgary, where our experts will implement the best possible treatment to get you out of your addiction. You can visit our website to learn more about our services.

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lovereconthings · 1 year

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Overcoming Negativity in Your Relationship

Are you or your partner prone to focus on the negative in the world, yourself, or other people? We all think negative thoughts from time to time, but chronic negativity can affect how you live, how you function, and how you love. It can also be detrimental to your mental health and wellness. Negativity can work its way into your relationships which can be irritating, frustrating, and destructive. If you are the negative-minded one, you can slowly degrade your partner's quality of life which is selfish and even mean. What Negativity Looks Like Negativity can be subtle. How do you know if you or your partner are guilty of negative thinking and energy?

- Hypersensitivity to suggestions or small slights from your partner - Expecting the worst in everyday life and possibly in the relationship - Being argumentative over minor issues - Reluctant to give compliments or praise - Persistent moodiness with partner and family - Being hyper-critical of self and others, especially your partner - Not considering partner's ideas and saying "no" before considering anything new - Endlessly analyzing and overthinking everything - Inability to find enjoyment in ordinary things - Believing that others don’t like you - Struggle to see yourself in a good or positive light. - Pointing the finger of blame at your partner or others for any and everything. - No resilience in recovering from rejection, disappointment, or bad news Overcoming the Negativity Bias We all possess what has been labeled as a “negativity bias.” Basically, anything bad or negative outweighs anything good or positive. We focus and dwell on the one thing that did not go well rather than the five things that did go well. It's too common for this negativity to consume our relationships and distort our thinking. Chronic negativity may be deeply rooted and traced to your childhood, so how can you overcome this natural bias and your conditioning and turn it around? Try the following and see if you don't notice a marked difference in your attitude and outlook. - Think before you speak. Most of our responses are automatic because we don't pause and think before opening our mouths. So, keep your mouth shut! There is power in a pause, and you may realize that you don't need to say anything! - Examine your mind and heart. What is your motive or reason for your response? Is what you are going to say true? Is it helpful or loving? Does it clarify things? Is it just your perspective, i.e., "your truth?" In the case of an idea proposed by your partner, can you “love it for five minutes?” before you evaluate or criticize it? - Don’t focus on being “less negative.” Whatever you focus on, you move toward. Focusing on your need to be less negative will pull you back into negativity. Instead, focus on understanding your partner's perspective and giving them compliments or praise. It may feel awkward at first but keep at it. You may create a whole new positive dynamic for your partner and yourself. - Express gratitude. This is a positive way to say, “Stop complaining!” We all need to vent occasionally, but no one needs to hear all of our negative thoughts. Begin each day with three positive, grateful thoughts before your feet hit the floor. Express gratitude for your health, your job, your partner, your pets, etc. Include what they add to your life. Example: "I'm grateful for my two dogs because they provide companionship and get me out to walk every morning." Especially write and talk about the things you appreciate about your relationship and your partner. - Negative thinking is not a sign of intelligence. You may be assuming that people will admire your critical thinking by pointing out all the ways that things could go wrong. Wrong! They will perceive you as narrow-minded, unable to consider things from all angles, and simply pessimistic. - Allow your anxious moments to pass. Being negative is often a byproduct of anxiety. We worry about what did go wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future. You don't have to do anything or say anything in response to your anxious moments. Get still and quiet and sit until the negativity and anxiety pass. Try meditation and prayer to calm and soothe yourself. - Be forgiving. Unforgiveness is holding on to negativity, disappointment, hurt, or pain. Forgive as quickly as you can. By not forgiving, you are only causing further injury to yourself. Forgiveness is for you and keeps your heart open and your spirit free from bitterness and other negative emotions. - Take care of yourself. Look after your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness for a healthy and satisfying marriage. Prioritize those things that keep you healthy and manage your stress. Include sufficient exercise, adequate sleep, good food, relaxation, and playtime. - Be kind. Really, that sums it up. It's just that simple. Be kind to your partner in your thoughts, words, and actions, and be kind to yourself. Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman believes that every negative interaction a happily married couple has requires at least five positive ones to "balance it out" or even mitigate the negative interaction's effect. It is possible for you to shift your relationship from one that is negative and unsatisfying to one that is positive and loving. Love Recon marriage retreats and marriage conferences, and Recon Coaching can help. It's what we do! Read the full article

#communication #improveyourrelationship #marriageretreat

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ohmygoat-in-sorry · 2 years

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Growth & Self-Love

Something I’ve struggled with is self love and letting go.

Growing up I had porous boundaries, meaning I grew up with none. Being the eldest made me aware of how serious and fucked up life gets and my parents frustration and anger were definitely put on me.

And long story short, I grew up to be a people pleaser. I avoided conflict as much as possible and when it occurred I wanted to take responsibility for the fuck up so that the people around me wouldn’t feel mad or sad. I thought I was a being good person by taking the emotion or trauma away from the person and feel for them instead...heck I was so used to the feeling of quote on quote “negative emotions” because of how I was raised.

Now, that I have physically removed myself from the toxic environment and seeing a therapist it is evident that I don’t love myself the way I love others and that needs to change.

I’ve been reading, “All About Love” by Bell Hooks and it has been eye opening. Most of the concepts I’ve read are beliefs and values of mine. In the most recent chapter I’ve read, Mutuality, one quote really stood out to me: “If I were asked the single most frequent cause of the destruction of relationship....I would say is selfishness. We live in an age of narcissism and many people have never learned or have forgotten how to listen to the needs of others, The truth is, if you want to make just one change in yourself that will improve your relationship -- literally, overnight -- it would be to put your partner’s interest on an equal footing with your own,”

The reason why I love this quote is because it highlights my value for respect for others but also self-love.

Its been said over and over and I told myself this over and over, you cannot give love if you don’t love yourself. In the past I always thought I was unworthy of being loved so I gave up and made an executive decision to love others the way I would have wanted to so they didn’t have to feel as sad I did.

I’m tired of being sad and I am practicing self-love and boundaries. Jorge showed me that I am worthy of love, and my therapist has been an amazing teacher and Jose has been an amazing role model.

I am so grateful for everyone in my life and I promise I am trying really hard to love myself the way I loved you all.

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Kaeya is really touchy with his darling, right? So then,, what are the other Yan’s love languages?

NICE I love the love languages stuff! Sorry this was from April but I'm finally getting to it! Usually the two are similar, but sometimes people have different ways of expressing love versus how they want to receive it, so I'll elaborate on that as well. Enjoy my rareish semi-fluffy stuff, boys and which of the 5 love languages they are :3 Kazuha - quality time

Honestly, he's a simple boy. All he really needs to be happy and feel mutual love is sit with you close to him, arms wrapped around you, preferably with you returning the gesture. He has a lot of feelings and fears for the future, lots of emotions all bottled up, so someone to listen to him means a lot. Taking the time to listen to all he has to say makes him sheepish and embarrassed even, but as long as you assure him it's ok, he'll keep coming back for more of your listening ears.

Also, he likes to go on walks. These can be talking or not, sometimes he just likes walking in silence. Either way, accompanying him on said walks is a way to endear yourself to him and show him you love him. Sometimes it's just silently walking down beaches or pathways or in circles around the ship deck, sometimes it's him venting, sometimes it's him gushing about this or that... either way, basically providing him with an outlet for his emotions and spending time with him is what matters.

Zhongli - gifts, quality time

Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness he's big on spoiling a darling. I mean let's be real it's probably someone else's money OR this is in an era where he could just make some, so he will literally get you anything you could ask for, hell, anything he sees you looking at, tons of things you have no use for but he just likes the way your eyes light up all the same. It makes you happy, and that's what love is about, right? Wanting to make people you love happy.

However, for himself, it's a quality time thing, similar to Kazuha's where it's a lot of listening. He has a lot to say sometimes and can get to rambling about details of this or that thing he somehow manages to be an expert on, and while he usually catches himself early on, sometimes he can REALLY go on a while. He knows you don't have any clue what he's talking about, and probably don't really care, but if you sudden bring up a detail that shows you were listening -- it makes him feel oddly warm inside, like you actually think what he talks about is important and care about it. It makes him chuckle a bit, pat your head. He tells you if you're bored you don't have to listen.... so if you insist on doing so anyway, well, that just makes him feel even better inside, oddly validated in a way.

Kaeya - words of affirmation, touch

Is sex a love language?

But in all seriousness, yes as per the opening of the ask, he's very touchy. By 'touch' in this case, that... does translate to sex about 90% of the time. Can you blame him?? It's because he loves you! If he didn't love you he wouldn't wanna get his dick in you so bad! It's love that makes him so handsy and touchy, always rubbing you and running the edges of his fingers under your shirts and skirts and shorts even in public, hands wrapping around your waist and hips, sneaking fondles here and there... and it's out of love that you get railed all the time. His peak happiness is just being balls deep inside you, bodies pressed up against each other, moving slow and gentle and gradually building up... and he wants you to feel like that's love, too. To be honest he gets genuinely sad if you don't see it that way, or if you don't understand it as an expression of love. It seems so natural and innate that being pressed up close together should invoke feelings of love, right?

As for how he understands love as a recipient, well, pretty much the same thing, any sign of eagerness or willingness or especially initiative to fuck sets his brain off. But also, he's weak to any attempts to boost his ego. Say anything positive about him and he'll get excited and let it go to his head, particularly if your words of choice make him feel strong or powerful or capable.

Also speaking of touch, surprisingly big on handholding, especially in public. Sure part of it is a "signaling to others to back off" sort of thing, but he just likes the warmth of your hand as well.

Diluc - touch

It might be a bit surprising, given the stoic nature but... just give this man a hug. Please.

Being inside you is very very nice of course, but he's also notably a cuddly person when you get past the rough exterior. He likes to just sit you in his lap and hold you, spoon you in bed at night, etc.

And as for giving, he doesn't really have knowledge of how to go about other things. He's not good with words at all, he doesn't really know what gifts to get, and despite his affection he's not really submissive enough of a person to go about acts of service, and he's very busy, so while he might get quality time, it's not too often. In the end he doesn't really know how to do anything else, so if he really wants to express affection, the only way he can really think of is just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing. Sometimes a little too hard, like sir I'm asphyxiating please

Also it takes him a while to work up to it. At first he's just too nervous and can barely touch you without retracting his hand back out of nervousness, but he gets used to it.

Razor - quality time, touch

The others are kind of foreign concepts, really. But touch and time is how his kind bond! It's what he's used to. Nuzzling his face into your shoulders and neck and wrapping arms around you and holding you tight. He will often just cling to you physically in some way, holding your wrist in his hand or reaching out to embrace you at random. Of course, sex is a part of it, gotta have that too, it means love to him because he gets the urge whenever he thinks about loving you! And not gonna lie, he tries to remember you don't really like it but, he'll lick you every now and then too. It just comes naturally because he gets excited 'cause he loves you so much!! Lick lick.

Quality time comes in many forms. Every second is quality time in its own way, but especially naps in the sun and walks through the woods. Fun fact: wolf mates go on little "walks" together occasionally, breaking off from the rest of the pack to get alone time. It's fun! You can run through the woods with him! The naps combine the two expressions of touch and time, getting to spend lots of quiet, valuable time, all while snuggled up close. It's nice.

He doesn't really understand if you try to communicate love otherwise, but he'll kind of grasp that it's nice. But really, in the end he wants touch and time too. It's the only form he really understands. The rest just leave him a bit "??" But a nuzzle and a nap in the sun are things he understands perfectly.

Xingqiu - gifts, words of affirmation

The first is more how he shows, the second how he receives. It's a rather selfish form of love, really, because it benefits him as well and it's not exactly difficult. He doesn't have to put a lot of work into gifting, since he can pretty much get anything he asks for out of his father, and even if he says no to something, well, father won't notice a few hundred thousand mora gone from the stash of money kept in his bedroom, right? And he loves giving you gifts because of your reaction! You smile and say thank you and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and he likes to think that maybe you feel indebted to him, maybe you're awed and impressed by how he manages to find you such expensive and rare things, maybe it makes you look up to him and see him as superior a bit. Hopefully.

However, because he's got so much wealth already, so gifts don't really do much for him. He responds well to praise, though, especially if you compliment him on the things he cares about, like his sword skills, his writing, his vigilantism. Make him feel like the protagonist he is inside his head, and he'll be beaming with pride and happiness, it makes him feel important, which translates to feeling loved.

Chongyun - quality time, acts of service

In particular, he likes to have you around when he's training. You don't have to train yourself, just be by his side. It makes him more motivated, so he's noticed. Not to mention, he likes showing off if possible to impress you.

Also, he likes having someone to vent to. He's a sweet boy, but he has his stressors and frustrations. He's used to strict self-discipline and normally refrains from talking about his feelings too much, but if you make him feel like your presence is a safe place for him to come to, he will end up almost becoming dependent on getting to emotionally unload on you every day, recalling all the details of every bad thing that happened and waiting for your soft comfort.

Here, "acts of service" is more like... consideration. Little moments where he's reminded you remember his needs and care about them. You make food and note that you made it especially free of anything hot, just for him! Or you make his little popsicles when he forgets, you help him deal with the damage and destruction of his most recent episode. Little acts like that make him feel appreciated, loved and cared for.

Childe - acts of service

Similar to Kaeya and touch, acts of service is... yeah it's basically sex. It falls more into the category of acts of service because it's a little different in nature from Kaeya's -- he loves normal sex of course, and cuddles are nice too, but in his mind really loving him is about taking initiative and doing things to him... in other words, to translate that in simple terms... blow him. Please. It would make him the happiest man in the world. Or ride him. Just anything that feels like you taking some initiative and making him feel wanted. ...And making him feel worshipped is nice too, getting you down on your knees in front of him or any act of service and submission gives him a sort of high from the ego boost and masculine validation.

And he's similar with how he expresses it himself. Most likely candidate to eat you out against your will. One infuriating and potentially humiliating thing about him is he's one of the most insistent to ensure you cum every single time, if you don't cum from him fucking you he'll just force your legs open and eat you out or shove his fingers into you until you do. Because he loves you and orgasms equate to love in his mind.

Venti - acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts

It's more on the giving end for him -- specifically, he can be a very sappy individual when he's in love, to a point it's nauseating to the people around you, really. But he spends a lot of time writing you poems and songs. To him, song is one of the utmost powerful expressions of love. It sort of combines the service and words -- the writing itself is a labor of love, but the words are filled with praises. He genuinely spends a lot of time on it, though, and it's really important to him that you like the things he makes and plays for you, and will continuously modify his next pieces to what he perceives as your taste. He's a bit of a perfectionist on stuff like that.

Venti is actually rather shy when it comes to receiving love. He tends to be very no, you don't have to do that for me! And things like gifts can make him feel a bit guilty, so... you just have to give him stuff he likes so much he's too busy indulging to feel guilt. Namely alcohol. He gets a bit red in the face, but, deep down he likes words of affirmation and compliments too, even the lightest of sweet words he'll replay in his head over and over for days after you say them.

Bennett - acts of service

One of the quickest ways to endear yourself to him is the simple act of helping him. This can manifest in several ways, such as healing his wounds when he's all scraped up or just come back from an adventure, helping him patch up his clothes that get ripped so much, helping him find some thing he lost in the woods yet again, or following him on one of said adventures. People don't really have him in mind too often, he tends to get forgotten a lot and left to handle things all on his own, and as a result, someone who reaches out to help him has a significant impact on him, he finds himself unable to stop thinking about it and the warm feeling it gives him to know that someone cares.

As a result, he starts basically mimicking the same behaviors because it's all he really knows how to do. He wants to give you the same warm happiness that you give him, so he tries to help you out with the things you need, complete tasks he knows would be helpful to you. Unfortunately for him, this tends to backfire as something usually goes wrong and it turns into a mess that he fears will just make you hate him. Poor baby.

Albedo - quality time

He's one of those people that really loves to just spend time in the presence of the people he loves -- you don't have to be doing something together, or the same thing. Even if you're just reading a book or drawing or something on your own, he likes you to be nearby him. It's kinda cute how if you go wandering off or go into another room, he'll wait a minute, then silently kinda come peeking around the corner to check on you because?? Why did you leave? Did he do something to upset you? He's too proud to explicitly ask you to come back, but he might blatantly follow you to the room you're in, claiming it's just better lighting in here, or the other room was too cold, or some other excuse.

He still likes doing things with you, though, too. Another favorite is late night conversations, the kind you get into once you're already laying in bed in the dark, pressed against each other and mumbling little thoughts that occur to you before you drift off to sleep, questions about tomorrow, or a hey remind me to do this or that, that sort of thing. Little conversations you never really finish, your voices get softer and sleepier with each moment, you eventually close your eyes as you talk back and forth, until one of you eventually doesn't get a response, and then drifts off themselves.... and in the morning neither of you remember who was the last person to speak or what the conversation was even about in the end.

Xiao - touch

He just doesn't... get much else. Words are hard. He doesn't know whether this or that gift or gesture is considered appropriate to present to a human as sign of love, and those kinds of things, words and gifts and stuff, embarrass him too much... and he doesn't every really know whether or not he's correct when interpreting your actions and words either. How does he know the gift isn't just because you wanted to be nice, or that the nice things you said were just meant mildly, and he's just indulging in wishful thinking when he thinks it means more? Ugh. It's too troublesome to have to deal with.

But touch... it's straightforward and easy and impossible to misunderstand. And it's also objectively the best, he thinks, even without the issues in understanding it's just what he feels the most natural urge towards. Why would anyone do any differently? Why do humans waste their time giving each other gifts and compliments and stuff when they could just do the thing that feels so much better than that other stuff? It confuses him. He doesn't want material goods, he just wants to cuddle you and put his dick in you. Yeah it... also translates to sex here, similar to Kaeya. Like, he likes it when you kiss his forehead and snuggle up close, but those things will inevitably result in wanting more. And he loves the rests you two take, half-asleep soundly wrapped up and bodies pressed close, spooning with his arms latched onto you. It's just that said rests/naps are almost always very much naked due to being after cumming in you a few times.

Scaramouche - acts of service, words of affirmation, touch

I mean, you're kinda forced into the acts of service thing, but the idea is that you start to perform said acts willingly, or without needing to be commanded. Eventually you get to where you do things on your own initiative, and he likes to think maybe you just want to (and not because you've been beaten into doing it so many times it's become instinctive, definitely not that). A lot of it is just tasks, but similar to Childe's acts of service, it's definitely a sex thing too, wants you to show initiative and do things on your own -- not that you won't likely get told not to do shit like that without permission, but he still does like it, internally.

Words of praise are similar. Say anything nice about him and he'll probably accuse you of lying or trying to manipulate him/get something, but deep down he kinda thrives on anything positive you have to say or think about him. Not that you'd ever know.

As for how he actually shows love, well... does... he...? Yes actually, primarily it's a touch thing. Not always pleasant touches, but touches. It's similar to how other yans equate different things with love, like Childe sees orgasms as a form of love, to him possession is the utmost expression of "love" in the sense that he perceives it. Possession, to own a thing completely and entirely, to have full power over something... that sort of connection is incredibly intimate, when you think about it. It's a connection on a deep level, it's loving. So anything that expresses possession -- pleasant or unpleasant for you -- is thus an expression of love.

#lena's asks #atml #scheduled post

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ruthlesslistener · 2 years

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I don’t go to elden ring and idk anything about the characters but I saw the duality of man post and I think morgott and pk. should be friends. Small head + big body and big head + small body. One is a victim of child disposal and one is a child disposer! I see no problem with this arrangement, they’re both kings after all, and I will now rest my case.

Anon this is absolutely the funniest fucking ask you possibly could have sent me because Morgott and PK would absolutely fucking despise each other. Both are sad old divine men with severe self-hatred issues who devoted all of themselves to their kingdoms, but they did it in such different ways that they would do nothing else but coldly regard each other and be judgmental as hell while making the stiffest, most clenched-teeth levels of painfully polite speech during their staredown. PK would hate him for refusing to take pride in his divine heritage, sticking blindly to the order that shunned him, and hiding away like a coward while leaving the rest of the Omen in the sewers (all while pretending that he doesn't know he suffers the same issues), while Morgott would despise him for his cold, detached mannerisms, and how he's capable of causing great suffering to his children in the name of some greater power- just like his mother, Marika.

And then, of course, they would hate each other for the similarities that they witness- that bluntly elegant, detached way of speaking, an indicator of a child born in a wasteland, an outsider to society. The animalistic instinct lurking just beneath the skin, pulled just a bit closer by every twitch of the tail or too-sharp movement that snaps their attention over like a cat to a mouse. The fact that they were both born underground, wallowing in dirt, and now are scrabbling to be above what they once were. The fact that they both gave all that they were to their lands, their people, but its a futile war that they're fighting and they know it and they hate it, hate it, hate it.

(oh and let's not forget the mommy issues, bc while it aint canon in Hollow Knight, I gave PK lots of 'em)

And that ain't even getting into the whole mess that would happen once Morgott hears what PK did to his children (intentionally cursing them and leaving them to die alone in a cold dark pit, while he and his brother at least were accidents, were forsaken but not slaughtered, unwanted and unloved but not cast to their deaths from the moment of their birth), and the jealous, burning self-hatred that PK would feel when he hears what Marika did (casting away her children when they were hale and hearty, while he had to watch the many children he cursed walk towards him as empty husks, either half-dead or warped beyond recognition, and he never would have the chance to be their father because to do so would be selfish, both to him and to them, for he thought that they were dead beings wearing the face of someone who might have once been his child, and he suffered the agony of watching thousands die because if he never found his Pure Vessel, that would mean the destruction of Hallownest, and worst off- that all of his children had died in vain.)

So yeah, while they are both my blorbos, I'm extremely certain that they aren't compatable in the slightest, lol.

#elden ring #hollow knight #anon #reply #morgott the omen king #pale king #man I have a Type dont i #love me some tragic self-hating kings

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shkspr · 3 years

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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

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