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saiiboat · 7 months

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What are your ginran aus?

ohhhhhh boy. ok. lets start with the silly and go from there.

BLEACH RACING AU!!!!!!!!

its basically the cast of bleach if they all raced sailboats. its everything to me. Haven't decided yet if they race dinghies out of a club or if they race bigger sailboats and each division is a team. either way its silly and fun. ginran is important to this one (homoeroticism of sailing) but most of what ive written down is me just putting aizen into a situation

little blurb: "Aizen is the kind of guy who got into sailing to seem more sophisticated and then realized that he made it too much of his personality and so he's locked himself into self-inflicted psychic warfare with himself about how he would want nothing in the world more than to be anywhere but waxing a boat but if he backs out now everyone will know that he's just been doing it to look cool and thats actually so much worse. Everyone else sails because they either love it or theyve grown up around it enough that its like. what else would they do. Aizen though is playing 5d mental chess about whether or not people will think he's a poser if he stops showing up for practice"

SCI-FI AU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fem!gin and robot!rangiku. Gin is a mechanic who found rangiku after she was tossed out for scrap by aizen. this one makes me insane. so fucking insane. the yuri of it all. the inherent eroticism of being a mechanic and working on the robot you're falling in love with. important to note that rangiku isnt an android like from dbh. she's very clearly a robot. think more along the lines of Pathfinder from apex legends

little blurb: "Mechanic Gin who ties her long hair back in a bun or perhaps a braid while working and who takes her gloves off with her teeth and takes a job directly under a ship's captain after she finds out that he's the captain that threw Rangiku out for scrap and she wears her hair long and it flows over her shoulders even while she works. Aizen comments that she reminds him a lot of another ship's captain that he knew years ago and she says "I'm not sure what yer talkin' about, Aizen-senchou" as she slowly takes apart his ship's interface from the inside"

MERCHANT SHIPPING AU!!!!!!

ficlet!!!!!

this is another one that ive been going insane about, mostly because im using it as an excuse to research tokugawa period japan and its shipping practices. thank you so much to Jakobina Arch from Whitman College for writing an absurd amount on this subject and also The Indian Ocean World Podcast for having her on their podcast. She's been my main source of both information and inspiration for starting this au LOL.

As young kids, Gin and Rangiku are taken in by Hirako Shinji, a strange but respectable captain of a merchant vessel. Aizen is a seemingly kind sailor on the ship, stuck doing gruntwork that he thinks he's above doing. In a fit of annoyance and ego, when he thinks no one is watching, he hurts Rangiku and threatens her not to tell anyone it was him. Eventually, Aizen leaves Hirako's crew, but Gin remembers him

Aizen kills and manipulates and slithers his way to the top of a trading company, and when Hirako's bezaisen faces being bought up by Aizen, Gin abandons the crew to join Aizen's. It's then a race against time to kill Aizen before he decides to go through with the purchase.

Hirako Shinji is their original captain. While Hirako-senchou works his crew hard and is a bit of a strange man, he is trusted by his crew to not cheat them of money, and to ultimately be a fair captain.

Izuru, Momo, and Renji are three young sailors on Aizen's crew. Momo works directly for Aizen and does his paperwork and navigation. She handles all of the important work that he simply signs off on. Despite her doing the brunt of the work, she respects the captain greatly.

When Gin joins the crew he works hard enough and freaks out enough of the other sailors that he earns his place as secondmate. Izuru takes a shining to him, and Gin enjoys having someone who respects him on the ship who he can also boss around.

Renji, Izuru and Momo's old friend who used to be on the same crew with them, had left work as a merchant sailor to instead serve a daimyou who had adopted his best friend.

Rangiku earns her salt as a master navigator and sailor after Gin leaves, becoming a trusted advisor to Hirako. She doesn't understand the reasoning of why Gin would abandon their crew, and she respects Hirako-senchou and the rest of the crew too much to abandon ship as well.

Hitsugaya is a 12 year old boy who has a strong mind for trade as well as sailing and navigation, and even the paperwork it involves. He comes onto the ship after Gin leaves, looking for information on the whereabouts of his older sister. Rangiku finds good company with him, even if she does like to tease him.

FLOWERS FOR ATONEMENT!!!!!!!!

ffa isnt an au so much as it is a fic im currently writing LOL it takes place after hueco mundo arc, and is based around Gin actually managing to kill Aizen and coming out unscathed. It's a lot about interpersonal relationships and Gin reconciling with not only Rangiku, but Izuru and Shinji (Who is temporary captain of the 5th while Momo is recovering) as well. Gin is whisked away to interrogation by 2nd company, so he isn't exactly given time with Rangiku directly after Aizen's death.

i put more of my writing in here than i thought i was going to, but i hope you enjoy either way LOLL

Snippet:

"I fucked Hisagi after you left."

She's sitting on the couch in her and Hitsugaya's office as Gin looks through the books in the bookcase behind her. Rangiku had chased her captain out of the office, promising to get paperwork done while he visited Hinamori. Of course, that had been the plan until Gin had quietly knocked and ducked into the office in the way he was so oft to do now.

She hears him stop flipping through one of the books. She swirls the sake in her cup and doesn't look behind her.

"Really? Hisagi? There's gotta be better choices than that."

"Bah! Like who?"

Gin makes a noise in his throat like a shrug. "Was he good?"

She tosses back the sake and rolls her shoulders. It pains her that she can't look more away from the conversation than Gin already being behind her. "I don't really remember; Kira and I were pretty wasted at that point."

Gin's silent for a minute, and it leaves Rangiku to stew in her thoughts.

"How is Izuru these days?"

Rangiku clenches her jaw. Her hands feel empty without sake in the cup, but moving to pour more feels like admitting defeat. She settles back into the couch and tilts her head towards him just enough to give him her ear. She still won't look at him. "Have you talked to him? Shouldn't a captain know how his lieutenant is?"

"Ah, for a lieutenant, he's pretty good at avoidin' his captain."

"And why do you think that is, Gin?" When she spins around to look at him, he's holding a poetry collection Hitsugaya had gifted her for New Years maybe 8 years ago. "Why in the name of the Soul King would Kira want to avoid you? Is it because you left? Is it because you played with his feelings? Because you used him and tossed him away? Is it because you didn't tell him what you were planning?" She should stop, she really should. She doesn't want to lose him again. "Why didn't you tell him, Gin? Why didn't you tell me?" She's staring at him, pleading him to say something, to say anything instead of just leaving again with no answer.

"He could've hurt one of ya."

Something in her heart breaks, and she doesn't even recognize what's happening before she breaks out into heavy, ugly sobs.

Gin hurries around to her side of the couch, past the wall she had put up between them. He catches the sake cup as it drops from her hands and hesitates for only a moment before gently (oh, so gently) relaxing her hands from where she had been digging her nails into her palms in its absence.

"Aw, c'mon, Ran. Ya don't need to cry."

He's standing in front of her with her hands held in his, and it feels like something in her chest is clawing to get out.

He kneels on the ground in front of her and she follows him, folding herself into the length of his body like she hadn't done in a hundred years, and his hands leave hers to wrap around her. His breath is on the top of her head and his fingers card softly through her hair. She grasps onto his haori and swears that she'll never let go.

It takes what seems like hours to find her voice, but eventually the words fall out of her mouth, "I only ever wanted you to stay."

"Then I won't ever leave again." He says it as easy as breathing, and she can't help but duck her head into him, giggling wetly.

"Stupid, stupid Gin. Is that all I had to say?" She unclasps her hands from the front of his haori and moves to wrap her arms around him, pulling herself closer. "If you aren't going anywhere, then I won't either." She moves her head back to look at him, and goes a bit crosseyed when she realizes how close their faces are. When her eyes are able to focus, she smiles. He looks soft. Happy. She pokes him in the cheek. "You still need to talk to Kira, Gin. Don't forget."

His eyes crinkle in a smile she knows is genuine. Only she gets to see this side of him. She wishes he would show it to other people. "I won't forget."

The finger poking into his cheek softens into what a more well-adjusted person may be brave enough to call a caress. Either way, she would have to be blind to miss the way he melts into the touch. "Promise?"

"Promise."

TIMELOOP FIC!!!!!!!!

this one doesn't actually belong to just me!!! its owned equally by @babygirlifier with some input on Rukia from @toomanydoors !! this one is specifically a rock musical bleach au, and the loop starts with momo and aizen in the office together, and ends with either momo dying or aizen escaping. its a whole lot of momo death, momo getting stronger, and momo coming into her own as a person separate from what aizen created her to be. of course, there is a lot of gin in this fic. he kills her a lot. but he's also a very strong ally once she figures out what she needs to say to him to get him to listen. there is a LOT about this fic that makes me insane, and a lot of ways that characters experience the wide array of horrors that the 3 of us are able to cook up. ill give you a fun little ginran moment though. of course.

blurb: "Just just imagining momo and rukia sitting off to the side and giving gin and rangiku space while the two of them have their heads ducked together and are talking quietly. in all of momo's time in these loops, she's never seen gin look so... tender. rukia keeps looking over momo's shoulder, unable to take her eyes off the two of them for too long. its understandable, momo reasons. it's a strange experience to see gin duck his head into rangiku's space, to see him hold her hands with such gentle care.

Gin agrees to help momo. this is the final loop."

#WOW. okay thats a lit of stuff. hope this is a good answer nonny #courtesy of bán #bleach racing au #merchant shipping au #flowers for atonement #bleach scifi au #burimyu timeloopfic #ginran #saii.writing

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thebl00dmaster · 11 months

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Limbus Tamers

The limbus brainrot is terminal and digimon has been worming its way back so why not combine the two together. I’m not the biggest Digimon nerd (mainly watched some Adventure, 02 and Tamers and played Digimon world 3 and Cybersleuth) so I’ve been using Wikimon to help with the evolution lines, while yes I could just mix and max anything I tried to use Digimon that actually evolve into one another.

I may do another one with Dante, Charon and Vergilius plus any Sinner I want revisit. So onward to my dubious picks!

For Yi Sang I chose this line mostly for his desire to have wings and his association with crows. Plus Yatagaramon is cool.

For Faust I focused on her witch imagery, what with her base E.G.O. giving her a broom and her codename being Walpurgisnacht, and her vast knowledge with Impmon being a stand in for Mephistopheles (I know Mephismon exist I already had settled on witchmon and needed a rookie). AncientWisemon could have gone to Yi Sang since he invented the mirror we use to pull the gacha but it still have that sorcerer vibe.

For La Creatura I settled for the Guilmon line mostly because Gallantmon/Dukemon, being a Royal Knight, fitted with her knightly delusions and also because I remember Guilmon going feral at some points in Tamers. Plus if we go for Dark Digivolutions,when Don completely snaps she could go down the Megidramon (or even ChaosDukemon) route similarly to Takato.

I hesitated a bit with Ryoshu so I ended doing both ideas: I kinda cobbled this one together trying to concile her ties to fire (her E.G.O inflict burn,the “cooking” of the Kebab and that one picture of her burning everything using as her steed) and art with Etemon being a singer and Piedmon being a clown (and circus artist in general). Plus the Dark Master have throwing knives/swords.

This one was more was more based on her swordplay and the fact she’s ... ok maybe not “honourable” but she’d rather not do it the “coward’s way”, she straight up refused to disguise herself during the casino heist and wanted to face the Shi assassin head on in Canto IV. So Musyamon popped into my mind and then went up the evo line to try and keep the samurai/ronin theme and Kunemon is here because I couldn’t use Kotemon as it doesn’t digivolve into Musyamon.

Mr Salt got the Andromon line because he’s very robotic at times, a cog in the machine if you will, plus he is a tank of a man so Guardromon fits well. Also I thought it would be funny if somehow the machine Digimon ended up being more prone to make judgements than its human partner.

I didn’t know where to go with Hong Lu, I tried with the Devas and little more with Lopmon’s line then I saw QueenChessmon and went “Chess is pastime for hoity-toity rich folk and Hong Lu is a rich boy” and went from there. Not really satisfied but it just clicked in the moment. ... If Hong Lu is playing some 5d chess with us I SWEAR TO -

Another double feature with the other sinner with double seats privilege ... this was completely incidental. This one is based on the brutish side of Heathcliff though Ogremon can be cunning as can our angry british. Titamon is also connected to revenge (specifically against the Olympos XII) so it fits as well. I know Rebellimon doesn’t digivolve to Titamon but fuck it ! I didn’t want Digitamamon on here and that’s the only exception I made, I just wanted to keep mean green demon all the way.

This one came frame from a flash about Telepole Heathcliff and since He’s a bastard I couldn’t him give a regular Gabumon.

I just had to give Fishmael a Whamon because of Moby Dick. As for the rest: I picked Gomamon because I thought it’d be funny to have a laid back partner with how rigid she can be; Dolphmon to transition between Gomamon and Whamon and Plesiomon because it’s a traditional Mega for Gomamon alongside Vikemon.

I must admit being stumped and just going “Waifumon go !”. Might revisit her with a more fitting line sometime.

For Sinclair at first I wanted to give him an avian line then stumbled upon Tsukaimon digivolving into Pidmon and went “time to go the angel route” as a spin on Patamon. Outside of MagnaAngemon (and Angewomon for that matter) I tried not to use Adventure/02 digimon. I picked Dominimon but hesitated between it, ClavisAngemon and SlashAngemon.

For Outism I first wanted to have an Olympos XII member then wondered whether or not there was a trojan horse digimon, Lo and behold there was ! As for the rest I worked my way down : Cherrymon being a duplicitous tree (he tried to manipulate Yamato during the Dark Master arc) fit Outis being suspicious, kiwimon is kind of a filler pick and Alraumon is a fake Palmon.

Finally for Gregor I picked the Wormmon line though with some changes. I chose Snimon instead of Stingmon to harken to G Corp Gregor and while there’s a roachmon I felt it was too on the nose. As for Bloomlordmon I hesitated with going with GranKuwagamon or HeraclesKabuterimon but leaned more on this one mainly to distance a bit from bugs since Gregor has two plant based E.G.O.

That should be it for now.

#limbus company #digimon #long post #limbus tamer

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heathermason · 4 months

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i have to start cleaning in a few minutes and all ive done today is watch yugioh 5ds dub, tarot readings for today + this week, and listen to a bit of frankinstein audioboook. ive been up since like, 1:50pm

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midnightmisadventures · 1 year

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“No yea we’re batshit insane” - Dream Boy

Alternate title: Guys GUYS so much

Alternate title: The perma stoned semester

Alterternate title: Trials and tribulations of separation.

Alternate title: “Look, I didn’t want to be a Twin Flame”

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I’m so fucking high rn on some delta 8 mothers day edibles and holy shit

highest ive been in so long lkike im in car 4 my heart is palpitating.

Honestly kinda hope i dont die

But.....

I was thinking about how high i am and how this used to be a typical 5pm on a tuesday high last year. Like holy shit i was just like this.......all the time. “The perma stoned semester” season rheme :)

But yea i was like this all the time, he was like this all the time, we got to know eachother like this

uncrontrollable smiling and laughter. While the sun rises, during sunsets, when its raining, when its thunder & lightening, when its snowing and theres soft christmas music playing.

When my favorite music in the world played, when we all sang the words, when i saw his goofy smile every day during golden hour,

Constant euphoria, constant giggly nonsense, always this high, the strongest strains, the rosiest glasses the dispensary sells. The vulnerability was unmatched. The connection to 5D was like no other time.

This high: Making dinner together, watching our favorite movies, playing UNO, making pancakes, training a kitten, talking about our traumas, questioning life, creating our bucket lists, sharing stories for hours,

No wonder it felt like a goddamn movie and NO WONDER we only saw the best in eachother. We fell in love headfirst all while being our funniest, most authentic, vulnerable, happy, stoner selves. We were never the sober versions with eachother so of course we both came out of that era SO confused how the other couldnt see how great and beautiful they are.

Like i was likke Liam is so magnetic and hilarious, he’s so supportive and understands me so well, he’s so creative and vibrant and sexy. How can he not know how amazing and wonderful he is. He’s such a catch?

But i was ONLY seeing the high version of him. His most inner childish self shinign throigh withoujt him even realizing. His most comfortable self, his most ambitious self! Like he had a milltion ideas a minute, he was incredibly confident, and charming. When he was sober a few hours later..... He no longer thought any of those ideas were remotely possible. Or that any of the stuff we unpacked, the trauma we analyzed, Was actually real or had any real value outside of those conversations or any other hour we were stoned.

It was no wonder things always felt their worst when we were sober. Or when he went sober for those couple months in spring semester . Or when I was on tour. Or in november.....

He was going home every semester. And was immediately transported out of it. Our dream world we created, our dream selves we acted like. The shocking sobriety of it all. He’s said when he was home “this didnt exist, this didnt feel real. THIS is a fantasy land”

He was going home and getting high, but it wasnt the same, it was like trying to grasp onto that euphoria. But we werent there. Dunham wasnt there. SO it didnt work, weed didnt transport him, and his demons were still able to convince him that he was worthless. So he didnt want to bank on promises made in the fantasy land andthe fantasy girl was leaving....

So he had to cut off transportation. Take out the drugs. Leave the euphoria behind, focus on the real world, cause god thats gotta hurt less than having my dream world promises shatter in front of me. And everyone in the real world making es fun of me cause i believed in “dream world promises?” NO, I’m not spiritual wizard, I’m a 24 year old who needs to get his shit together.

We were true drug addicts. Addicted to weed and how 11:11 much it made us love eachother. How invincible it made us feel. How real it made the promises sound. Every day stoned as hell. Smoking As much as we could, as much as we could push out the real world and try to convince eachother that we should both screw it all and live together in dream world.

Sober: Different people.

But when he went sober I still smoked, almost as much. I stayed in dream world i learned every crack and crevis on my own. Found my own tricks, got in touch with some people made some connections. I kept it up.

I missed him, and I ached for him. I wanted to remind him of his value, and all the things we talked about in dream world. And real world him was so cold. And so uninterested. And kept pushing mer away. But I knew he was in there :(

So i stayed close by and i moaned and i ached and i gave blessings from far away. And I wished for him to come back.

If she could just reach the dreamworld version of him push through. Try harder to come out, and teach real world version of him about BALANCE.

Well...yea. Idk I guess I’m just fucking high and missing him and for the first time realizing how easy it is to think of the most amazing moments of him when I;m this high. And it made me realize damn. This was my state of mind that WHOLE time. It is such a warped, and dreamlike, movie like state.

And thats just crazy because thats the reason we saw the best in eachother and all of our potential all the time. It was our happiest headspaces. And thats how we got to know eachother, thats whyh it was so easy to fall in love, and think of him so highly.

Whenever I need to fall in love with him, i let dream girl run the ship for a few hours. If dream girl is struggling to reach me, they’ll send me a dream like last night. When he was finally balanced and asked me to be his.

Like right now i’m seeing hallucinations, and jamming to music, and laughing so hard i cant breathe by myself and then i was like............”OHHHHH, this is the version i remember, oh yea.....duh you could fall in love with anyone like this”

“This is why it was so easy to know he was the love of my life. Cause i used cheat codes. I skipped past all the armour, i went under all the layers and got to know the truest him. All his doubts, fears, dreams, and insecurities. Everything you shield away from strangers. And pretty girls who intimidate you

And u have to be this high to understand the feeling. To really remember the romance of it all. To realize how magical and toxic it all really was.

.....I’m dream girl right now, And I remember EVERYTHING

(lol like see how instantly such a movie) Like “Be fucking forreal” - Real world girl

Record time and im still pretty high btw

#i have an alibi

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toadstool32 · 10 months

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Tag 8 people you’d like to get to know! (WE STILL DO THIS!!!)

CON TAGGED ME CON MY FRIEND @clannfearrunt SHAKES UUU

LAST SONG: Hellboy by SWMRS yayy

CURRENTLY WATCHING: i saw a gifset on the dash about the new zombie anime (Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead) and ive only seen the first episode but so far it fucks! other than me currently watching that ive been goin thru ygo 5ds at a glaciar pace bc i FORGET im watching it also futari wa precure max heart, im goin thru it

CURRENTLY READING: NOTHINGSWEEP BRAIN DONT WORK WE CANT READ FOR SHIT!!!, but ive been trying to read sonic fanfic (i want, more nine content, but i cant FOCUS)

CURRENT OBSESSION: sonic :3 ignore my blog ignore shh ignore the osomatsu san self insert on my shelves IGNORE THAAT. o also artfight i guess, ive also been obsessed w fucking ur mom

Tagging: @cottonplushes @future-circuit @flyingspicerack @pekodayz @lunarpanda @hypnosiis-sys @moeatsushi @hyperpopmybeloved @sunflowermews AND YOU, THE READER, just say i tagged u thumbs up peace emoji emoji of a guy dead on the pavement blue heart

#wym thats not how emojis work #ac #tag game

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sweetcoconattsu · 2 years

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The fact that the only thing that could make Jack cry like a baby is ramen is making me lose my mind 😂😂😂

#ygo #5ds #yugioh 5ds #episode 115 #jack atlas #ive been laughing for two minutes now over this smh #jireh watches 5d's

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cyberdragoninfinity · 5 months

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🔥 Can I get some unpopular Yugioh protag opinions?

YOU SURE CAN lemme give one for all the protags ive met so far

🔥Yugi: I like Yugi as a character a bit leaps and bonds more than I like Atem (while I do still like him plenty.) Their dynamic is crucial to DM of course but Yugi on his own is just a stellar character and I feel like sometimes he does get a little based over in favor of Yami Yugi (by both fans and official ygo merch and media.) Also I'm in the particularly unpopular camp of finding puzzleshipping much Much more engaging to me from a platonic standpoint as opposed to a romantic one. im like this with a lot of ships but that's probably the biggest instance of all. das platonic soulmates to me babey.

🔥Jaden: already talked a bit about it but i'm not the biggest fan of how his character was handled in Season 3, and I don't think the whole Supreme King situation was handled as well as it maybe could have been. Also Jaden is fat to me we know this I see it in my visions and I know it to be true in my heart

🔥Yusei: The concept of "z-one is evil yusei from the future," while a fun AU idea for sure, really just would not be as impactful on 5D's narrative as what we got instead, as I've rambled and raved about many a time. Yusei seems to get hit was a particularly large amount of "whump" in fanspaces, just a really perpetual desire to see him in some state of misery, that I don't really jive with.

🔥Yuma: HE'S A GOOD CHARACTER. AND I LIKE HIM. AND HE IS MY FRIEND. I think there's such a charm factor to his personality, to me him being a little annoying is a feature not a bug, he's so delightfully rambunctiously 13 and so full of unconditional love. it rocks that he loses a bunch. i dont think zexal would work half as well as it does if yuma was older/more mature/an unflappably confident duelist. there is so much beauty in the flaws we get to see him work with and through.

🔥Yuya: ok actually i havent really seen enough of arc-v yet to have a concrete unpopular opinion on him. watch this space over the next couple of months im sure something with spring up in my brain. i do really like him a lot ;_;

#a small charcuterie plate of Thoughts...excited to develop more yuya opinions over time. rotating him #asks #ygo posting #anonymous

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beanmaster-pika · 5 years

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This is probably childhood yugioh nostalgia talking but uhhhhh how about I fall recklessly in love with the Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s series

#IVE BEEN WATCHING IT THIS PAST WEEK AND THE RUSH OF DOPAMINE IM GETTING FROM BINGEING IT #i loved watching kny and kh but 5d’s has another different quality to it that i just adore rn?? im chalking it up to nostalgia factor

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novaandover · 5 years

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Babysitting

#yugioh 5ds #jack atlas #jack atlus #leo #lua #ive been watching this series and its probably the best yugioh series ive watched so far #that being said i did draw this instead of watching it but hey i havent drawn something big in a while #anyway jack is bad with kids #fanart #squirrel's doodles #yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #nothing like putting tags out of order :)

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lunephased · 5 years

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I cant scream into your IMs because theyre set to only blogs you follow, otherwise I probably would have done that!! :'D Hi I'm kiga and I have this blog (my main) and my YGO sideblog for Yusei/Kalin from 5Ds (hyperdrivehearts)!! im so sorry if im awkward dnsdakjbsadkbda

Oh oops! I forgot I had done that. I’m kinda in a semi-lockdown??? situation so I guess i did that for my own safety! I slammed a follow! It’s nice to meet you! dw i’m !! just as awk!!! HCjskcfs >:o!!! !!

#|| poses/#|| i need to watch 5ds again uhu #|| ive been struggling to get past a few episodes so i sorta watched zexal inste a d #|| i'll get to it though!!! 5ds has important DT stuff in there and my filthy theorist fingers are like '' hey moonfucker do it bitch'' gcf #def-march

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heathermason · 4 months

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i took extra haldol last night and fell asleep and im still kinda sedated but ive been reading and watching yugioh 5ds dub season 1. the horror is within me. good afternoon

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midnightmisadventures · 2 years

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Guys im really losing my mind here

i dont feel grounded i feel SO WEIRD

i feel like the dream realm has been kicking my ass to get ready for ascension and even though i feel like im interpreting all the messages and doing good at releasing the lessons it makes me feel flustered

idk why

swipe up to npc grills to see me try to describe my dream from 2 yesterday. It was insane, i knew i was dreaming, it was so long, im pretty sure i was talking to a spirit guide. It also heavily involved Oliver but NOT in a good way bro lmao. And then when i woke up Oliver watched my snap story for the first time in soooo many months. Borderline a year. I'm flippin out??

Then today i have a dream where im back on the schtick of "saying goodbye to state college" and that era of my life. And i was putting up a fight in the dream,

also.....in real life i PROMISED myself that if im EVER distressed in an elevator situation, and im on a fucking cruise. I MUST drop whatever im doing. And jut fucking go to the top deck, prove that the water is mf real. Probably by myself

Now here i am last night dreaming that im on a cruise of some sort but also trying to get my stuff from my old whitecourse apt and priscilla is staying in my room and all this shit

and suddenly i was having a panic attack, running to different elevators which are all broken, trying to find my way back and i cant and im freaking out. In the elevator i was like.......wait is this a dream??? wake me up now!!! fully thinking im just being dramatic like i thought it was real life so bad what the actual fuck. And part of me was like, hey u promised yourself youd just drop everything and go to the top. And i was like "but this is real life this isnt a dream" maybe later, maybe after everythings settled.

that reoccuring concept really gets under my skin and im mad at myself for never realizing its happening. I get that its trying to say that i cant take everything from my past with me, and that ive got to be willing to go by myself into the unknown and i cant fight to go back to old ways even though it feels safe and comfortable and what i want at the time

i just feel jostled. To the point where i wanna text liam and be like hi, r u feeling this shitstorm in the 5D? its making it hard to focus

#happy veterans day

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