Kipo: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
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Jamack: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.
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Yumyan: If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You'll still probably die but the shark will be like "lol what"
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Dave: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
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Kipo: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.
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Leo: I don’t even use tubberware anymore.
Song: What are you saying? Say it again.
Leo: Tubberware.
Song: Say it again. Slow.
Leo: Tubberware.
Song: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable.
Leo: Tub.
Song: Wrong.
Leo: What do you mean, wrong?
Song: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P.
Leo: What are you talking about?
Song: Tupperware. Tupper.
Leo: It’s tupper!
Song: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be.
Leo: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.
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Leo: honk.
Song: WHAT.
Leo: HONK.
Song: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
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Song: I'm like Heinz Doofenshmirtz because I, too, like being petty, signing off-key, and over-sharing my deepest traumas for no discernible reason.
Leo: Not to mention that you think of yourself as eveil but are, at best, a minor inconvenience.
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Dave, seeing a bee on Benson’s arm: Uh oh...
Dave, rolling up a newspaper: Benson, stay still...
Dave, Using the newspaper as a megaphone: THERES A FUCKING BEE ON YOU
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Dave: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?
Kipo: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!
Dave: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!
Kipo: You take that back!!!
Dave: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.
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Scarlemagne: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Leo: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!
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Kipo: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.
Kipo: Ask me to kill for you. *turns mega*
Scarlemagne: ...First of all, calm down-
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Scarlemagne: Don't go to the kitchen.
Leo: Why?
Scarlemagne: I saw a spider.
Leo: Well, did you kill it?
Scarlemagne: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...
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Dave: Help! I’m drowning!
Benson: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!
Dave: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!
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Scarlemagne: Looked up my symptoms on WebMD and it turns out I have an ancient ancestral curse that has been passed down my bloodline for generations.
Kipo: ...?
Scarlemagne: Okay, fine. It was a hereditary mental illness. I just wanted to sound cool so I made something up. Are you mad at me?
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Kipo: I am going to need you to swear-
wolf: Fuck.
Kipo:
kipo: ...swear as in promise.
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Scarlemagne: Am I going to far?
Leo: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.
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Wolf: Tony Hawks moving castle.
Wolf: I can't remember the name of it, fuck.
Kipo: Howl?
Wolf: aaaauuuuuuuooooo???
Kipo: ...
Wolf: Oh.
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Kipo: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Wolf: What did you just say-
Kipo: Foetons! *Laughs*
Wolf: Wh-what?
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Benson: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?
Kipo: Breakfast in bed!
Dave: Emails from AO3!
Wolf: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
Wolf: The screams of my enemies are a close second though.
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