#juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

imo the best part in Love and Monsters is when joel finally gets to aimee’s colony and radios his own. he sees the messages they left for him on the other side of the map and he smiles but for a second gets this look on his face and you can tell he misses them. then the minute ray starts talking joel just snatches the transceiver, he’s ecstatic, and responds so enthusiastically, and his colony responds in kind. he’s so happy to hear from them that he’s stuttering and fumbling over his words in his haste to get them out and tell all of them about what’s happened to him since he left, and he wants to tell them absolutely everything and he tries. they tell him they’re proud of him. he straight up tells them he really misses them. after the radio cuts out, when they tell him it’s not good and they don’t know how much longer they’re going to last, he’s panicking and just has this dazed look on his face. he’s worried and can’t contact his colony. his immediate response is “i gotta go back. what am i doing here?”, like it just hit him that that is his family. those people who happened upon him and brought him with them seven years prior are his people, but he just didn’t realize how much of a family they really are until he left.

of course something stops him from being able to leave as soon as he can, but after all the stuff with cap goes down he tells aimee that he has to go back. there’s no second thoughts. he just spent a week trying to get to aimee and is about to do it again because he knows he needs to go back to his colony, his family, and doesn’t hesitate. while yes joel cares about aimee, it’s also someone from his life from before and a person who was a big part of his past that was also connected to his parents.

when he gets back the colony he automatically runs towards them after seeing that they’re still ok and immediately hugs karen (i believe). all of them are so excited he’s back, he’s excited he’s back and that they’re all there. they’re all laughing and shouting, celebrating even, they all get up and they’re hugging joel and he’s hugging them. there’s a whole group hug. everyone in the colony except joel is with someone but that doesn’t matter, because they still care about him and he cares about them. they’re family. that’s all that really matters.

#love and monsters #joel dawson #found family #found family trope #dylan o'brien #juiceboxerr #cal's ramblings

[juiceboxerr]

so like,,, was everyone going to let me continue being a dumb motherfucker.

“huh, the marks on casey’s mask are cool, i wonder where he got the inspiration–”

…..

… HOW DID I NOT REALIZE ???

#rottmnt #rottmnt movie #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt leo #rottmnt casey jones #was this supposed to be common knowledge?? #because if so i missed the memo #juiceboxerr #cal speaks

[juiceboxerr]

i feel like not enough people haven’t talked enough about this scene? like yeah we talk about how badly leo was beaten, and like when the krang was shoving him into the ground, like the noise and how his shell would be injured.

but when the krang first threw him to the ground?? the fact that leo’s impact alone caused the ground to crack/break. that’s how hard the krang hurled him the first time, not to mention him shoving him into the ground multiple times after and everything that happened in the prison dimension. also turtle shell are connected to a turtles spine and their ribs.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt movie #rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt movie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie #rise leo #rottmnt leonardo #rise leonardo #tmnt 2018 #tmnt #the krang #juiceboxerr #cal's ramblings

[juiceboxerr]

Wait. i just realized that in season 2, “Donnie vs. Witch Town”, donnie was originally planning on going to the Battle Nexus for his hidden city getaway or whatever. he wanted to check out the rumors about the “shadow fiend being quite the fierce champion”. which means if he went to battle nexus, instead of changing his plans to go with april, he might’ve realized that the champion is familiar. which he then could’ve possibly discovered it was shredder, changing the finale and things might not have been as bad as they were. (i am well aware i am most likely not the first person to point this out, the realization just hit me as i was rewatching again when i never picked it up before, so now you have this)

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rise april #battle nexus #rottmnt hidden city #juiceboxerr #cal's ramblings

[juiceboxerr]

ao3 is down…

i was in the middle of read an angry accidental confession scene, what the fuck am i supposed to do now

#ao3 #ao3 down #i might start crying #juiceboxerr #cal speaks

[juiceboxerr]

finding out i was aromantic (aroacespec to be exact) was probably the most drawn out discovery i’ve had about myself.

junior year of high school i observed everyone in my grade and mentally picked out a guy i thought was cute near the end of the school year.

fast forward to senior year, the boy i picked ends up being one of the three people who i become friends with. we get closer i forget i literally picked him out of the crowd the year before and trick myself into thinking i like him (mind you i started “liking” him on day one of senior year), but i was never interested in doing anything about it.

we graduate and contact between us becomes more and more rare, but that’s fine because the minute i didn’t see him five times a week for 6-7 hours the feeling’s disappeared in the blink of an eye. i think nothing of it besides “oh well, must be normal, it happens.”

it was, in fact, not normal. i didn’t realize this is not what most people with a crush usually feel; that for most people, feelings don’t disappear the minute you don’t see the person anymore. so because i never brought it up, nobody told me that isn’t how it normally works, so i never spared a thought as to why since i didn’t know any different.

for the next couple of months after that i changed labels multiple times, wondering why none of the sexualities or romantic orientations i tried to use fit. it took me a year after i graduated high school, which included almost two semesters of college, to finally stumble upon the aromantic spectrum. i researched and thought about it for weeks before i felt like i could bring it up to one of my friends, i thought things might be different and it took me some time to come to terms with it, but in the end nothing changed. i’m still me, i’ve always been this way, the only difference is that i found out what it’s called.

now, it’s been almost a year since i figured it out and told someone. since then, i’ve been able to research more and read posts from likeminded people, i’ve been able to figure out who i am outside of the outlook that “i’m falling behind in the sexual and romance aspect of life.” that i had for so long. it’s taken a while and a lot of trial labels to get here but now i can actually explore who i am and what i want from life, there are so many things outside of the whole nuclear family i was raised to believe was the end goal in order to have a successful and fulfilling life.

being aromantic is something i’m happy with, it was the puzzle piece i was missing. i get the freedom to figure out what i really want, and i don’t have to change anything about me so others might find me attractive. everything i do, the clothes i wear, the way i act and present, all of it is for no ones benefit but my own. i get to exist for me, i don’t need anyone to be my “other half” in order to feel complete. i can choose what aromantism means for me, and i get to figure out what life and happiness means for me, and only me, not based off of what anyone else says or what is expected of me.

i’m aromantic. nobody gets to decide what that means for me besides me, and i can spend as much of my life as i want figuring that out.

#aro #aromantic #aroposting #aro awareness week #aro thoughts #aroace #juiceboxerr #cal's ramblings

[juiceboxerr]

i feel like i make a sad sight.

sitting in my desk chair in the middle of my semi-messy room watching my comfort movie and eating cinnamon toast crunch out of the box, wearing what i call my “frat boy comfy outfit”

#juiceboxerr #cal core

[juiceboxerr]

whenever it’s just me and my brother at home he’ll tell me if he’s heading out and will just tell me “don’t get kidnapped” or “don’t run away”, sometimes both. i just give him a thumbs up and a “thanks for the vote of confidence (/s)”

#older brothers #man. sarcastically says *love the amount of love and trust* (/j abt the sarcasm) #nah i have a good relationship w him tho #im 19 and hes in his 20s but we still occasionally roughhouse #in a sense lol #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

if u open my fridge and pour yourself a glass of juice but ur not the type of person who shares food/drinks.. i hope u get comfortable w sharing real fast bc i won’t be the one to tell u until it’s too late

#it is MY fridge and i can choose what i do #i have the freedom to drink straight out of a 64oz bottle of juice and i will use that freedom #no i dont get a cup bc why would i. if you just grab a cup and pour the drink w/o asking if ive drunk out the bottle thats a U problem #i could put a warning on my fridge door But I Wont #i will simply watch and giggle #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

it’s just me, my phone, and this can of pear halves

#i dont know what im doing #i have been locked away from the sun and held captive by my enticing bed #it rly is just me and this can of pears #shitpost #??? #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

i might’ve skipped this past therapy session if i’d known there would be homework

#therapy #therapy homework #i have to write down positives #about myself #from me #not from asking other people #god help me #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

yk, sweeping is a mindless kind of task, doesn’t require much thought. it’s probably my favorite part of cleaning.

unless there is enough fucking dog hair to make a fur coat for Cruella de Vil.

#why must i suffer #i hate cleaning up dog hair #me cleaning vs. the dog hair that doesn’t go away #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

i was not made for college in any way but here i am looking at them anyways

#i was made to live in a cottage in the middle of nowhere #with animals and a garden i know i cannot keep alive #please i want to live out my fantasy #juiceboxerr

[juiceboxerr]

i love starting a fic w/o looking at the tag and the title is something like “When You Go Away I Still See You” and it’s 100k words. then getting half way through before having to rapidly scroll up and seeing the “A/B/O” and “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tags. like damn if i didn’t bring this on myself, but i’m too deep into it to quit now.

#ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #fanfic #juiceboxerr #cal speaks