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#just..... syd asking for help for what's like the first ? time
ciaonicole85 · 3 days
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Part 2: What Then?
I promise I have a life, but I couldn't help writing part 2 today! This takes place the same day as the "Development Day" when Syd and Carmy are thrown off by each other's answers during an ice breaker activity. Post-season 2. Feel-good fluff.
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Photo Credit @drrav3nb /  drrav3nb.tumblr.com
"So those are the menu changes for Chicago Restaurant Week. If you have questions, feel free to ask me or Chef Sydney. You should also have an email from Natalie by later today. Okay, let's prep for night service!"
Carmy closed the meeting, grateful that it was finally over. He was no longer afraid of public speaking after rising in the ranks of various kitchens, but his mind was not in this ever since the ice breaker. He, Carmen Berzatto, had made Sydney's favorite meal ever? The last time he prepared the pork confit and the Milk and Honey dishes she mentioned was several years ago. Back then he was at Eleven Madison Park, a rising star on the culinary scene, who chain-smoked, slept 3 hours a night, and was berated by the EC daily. It was a nightmare peppered with flashes of genius. He was dying to ask her about it, but before he could get her attention Sydney had slipped into the kitchen.
He stared disappointed at the window that separated the dining area and kitchen.
"Hey Bear, what's up with you?" Richie said sidling up to him trying to follow his gaze.
"Nothing cousin."
"Yeah, right. I missed when it happened, but it seems like you crashed and had to reboot during the meeting. Then you were lost in Sydney-land. Want to talk about it?"
Carmy rubbed his eyes and raked his hands through his hair. When he used both hands, Richie knew without a doubt he had hit on something.
"First, cool it about Syd. That handout you gave us was really cute. And yes, there's something on my mind, but it's not for me to say."
Richie grinned and rubbed Carmy's shoulder.
"Fine, just get your head together because tonight is going to be loaded and it includes three anniversaries and a birthday. And second, you need to cool it about her or do something. It's like I'm living in The Wonder Years with Kevin and Winnie."
"What?"
"Oh, right. That's probably before your time. Kids!"
With that Richie sauntered over to the host stands to strategize with the wait staff and hosts.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Sydney who had a thousand things to do, was adding at least a hundred more onto her plate. She didn't want to appear like she had a moment to spare. She and Carmy could talk at the end of the night as usual, without any eavesdropping. This would also give her time to think of an explanation as to why she never mentioned eating at Eleven Madison Park and that she wasn't a stalker who followed him to The Beef. To top off this awkward sundae, Carmy casually admitted his favorite part of the day was closing, the only time they are alone every day. She hoped no one else had connected the dots on that last part.
The afternoon and the night never went quicker to her chagrin. Even when one of the line cooks was sent home due to illness and a large group put in an order for 7 Fishes two minutes before tickets closed, she thought the night couldn't last long enough. Fortunately, Carmy seemed resigned to waiting and didn't look at her more than usual. In a flash service was over and no one was in the mood to hang around. By 11:00pm Sydney had cleaned her station for the third time and forced herself to go to Carm's office. He sat there pretending to do busy work, patiently waiting like a child who consoled himself that his parents wouldn't make him wait too long to open his Christmas presents.
"Hey Syd...it was a good night," he said softly not wanting to scare her away.
Sydney nodded and took a seat. Might as well get it over with it.
"Okay, yes. You made the best meal I've ever had. During a break at the CIA, I went to NYC and ate everywhere on my list, including Eleven Madison Park. It was a Wednesday night and I ordered several things including pork confit and Milk and Honey."
Sydney couldn't help closing her eyes and smiling at the memory. Her guard began to slip.
"Carm, it was like tasting my future and the best part of my past at the same time. I asked the waiter who made those dishes and he said Carmen Berzatto."
Carmen leaned forward on the desk. Whenever Sydney praised him, he felt like a cactus in an unexpected downpour. He wouldn't waste a single word. Her sunny existence and her belief in him sustained him during his dry seasons. He reached for her whenever he looked at the debt they still owed Uncle Cicero, when his mother finally visited The Bear and cried saying that he had erased Mikey, and even when their success seemed too good to be true. 
Sydney opened her eyes to find him looking at her in the way he had. It was terrifying because she had a very specific plan for her career. It also thrilled her, knowing the power she had over him. Five months ago, she had been begging for his focus and now she knew every her mood, glance, and word she spoke impacted him. Once for the fun of it during a slow night she stared at him until she drew his attention and smiled. He blushed, smiled back, came towards her without saying "corner", and crashed into one of the servers, sending three Michael cannoli to the floor. That was three months ago when she first realized something was going on with him. She'd refused to abuse her power since, going so far as to convince herself that she was overestimating his feelings. Then he said the best part of his day was closing. She hoped, well sort of hoped, that they could maintain this close, but not too close partnership and friendship without complications.
After a long pause Carmen sighed and sat back in his chair.
"So, how did you find me?"
"Well, like I said when we met, it was the job posting. I recognized your name and also The Beef from my dad taking me here."
She shrugged thoughtfully.
"It felt like it was meant to be. It gave me hope for the first time since Sheridan went under."
He nodded.
"It's really strange. You came here because I inspired you and the only reason, I felt capable of attempting something this big was because of you" he said gesturing to the ceiling.
"Yeah?" Sydney whispered.
"Yeah."
He stood up and walked around to sit on the desk facing her. Now, Sydney felt vulnerable looking up at him. It was so easy for him to unnerve her when he spoke this way, like under the table.
Carmy took one her hands and after a moment brought it to his lips.
"Thank you for telling me, Syd. It means a lot."
Sydney was unable to speak. Her throat had closed.
"Soon, is your one year work anniversary and I think we should celebrate."
She nodded.
Carmy set her hand down.
"It's late. I'll drive you home."
With that they left the office, gathered their stuff, and walked to his car in silence.
As they drove, Sydney attempted to talk herself down. Was that hand kiss, an Italian thing? Possibly. It also seemed like Carmy decided to do...something, but what? Worse, she was feeling like they had traded positions in mere seconds. She'd enjoyed having the upper hand. Oh, well. With a goodnight's rest she'd be back in form tomorrow. Maybe "accidentally" brush past him, or ask him to lift something heavy for her and comment on his strength. Then it would be game over for poor Carmy bear. For now, she wouldn't worry about the work anniversary. It was probably just going to be a cake Carm commissioned Marcus to bake.
Probably.    
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laviejaguardia · 3 months
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personally victimized by this show's soundtrack choices
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writers-hes · 10 months
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Request: carmy/reader, jealousy
“you’re so mean to me.” (c. berzatto x reader)
You friend sees you at the Beef while you were helping out at the counter. Carmy feels insecure. (mean!carmy, angst to fluff, just :(, sydney is such a sweetheart, protect carmen at all cost, not sure if there are spoilers, unedited.) - ACCEPTING REQUESTS!
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He comes to the Beef with authority and an air of confidence. Richie noticed that he had a designer shirt on, the monogram of some brand littered on it. The shoes on his feet could cover some expenses at the Beef. You were helping out at the counter that day. Carmy has been telling you how stressful the Beef had been since day one and you decided that on your days off, you’d go down to the shop and help. Carmy wished you didn’t come that day…not if he was there.
The first time you came, Carmy was bewildered. He was a blushing, babbling mess when his girlfriend came to help. “Ayo, Jeff, stop staring and give the girl a job!” Tina teased, making Carmy’s ears turn red. 
“Alright, Chef,” he said, looking at you, finally breaking out of his trance. “Come to the office and I’ll…orient you,” he takes your hand and brings you to the back office before you could say hi to his coworkers. “Syd, cover for me!”
“Yes, chef!” 
He locked the door behind him and kissed your head. 
“Hey, baby. What are you doing here?” he asked. His voice was soft, dripping with vanilla and honey.
“It’s my day-off and you’ve been telling me how much you needed another person at the counter and I decided to come down and help out. I’m sure Richie could help me,” you said. “But if you think that I might disrupt the system, I can leave and stay in the area! We can go on a date after your shift,” 
Carmy could just melt. How were you so considerate and beautiful and kind to him? He was so sure that he didn’t deserve you. He was almost certain that you were too good for him. Too good for everyone.
“I promise, I won’t mind whatever you choose, Carm.” you said, smiling softly at him. You could see the gears in his head turning. 
“No, no. I want you here,” said. “I want you here.”
“Okay. I’ll stay,” he hears, and you kiss him softly. “I’ll go to Richie and ask him to teach me the basics, okay?”
“Alright,” he said, pecking your lips “Just come to the office if you’re not feeling it, okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod, leaving the space and leaving a lovesick Carmy in the office. 
“Hey, guys! Sorry if I’m here on short notice. I’ll just keep out of your way and help Richie out, okay?” you asked. The kitchen hums and releases a series of “sure”, “okay”, and “thank you’s.”
“Chefs! I’ll take care of family today,” Carmy said a few moments later. He was watching you joke around with Richie. He was teaching you the basics and teaching you how to take orders. 
The first time you helped out, Carmy was tense. He didn’t want anything to happen to you. Nothing to touch you but soon, once you were well-integrated in their system, the kitchen found themselves looking forward to every Wednesday when Carmy was calmer, less annoying, and less rude. It’s like you take out every bad thing in him. 
-
Not today though. Not when Richie saw your eyes widen in recognition, an instantaneous sweet smile plastered on your face.
“Ayo, cousin!” he calls, while you almost literally jumped over the counter to talk to this guy. 
“Lawrence!” you greeted, taking him in a hug. “How are you? Richie, this is my childhood friend, Lawrence. Lawrence, this is Richie,”
Richie could only give a grimace and a half-assed wave. Where the fuck was Carmy?
“Wait for a bit,” you asked. “Sit down, okay? Your sandwich is on the house.” You looked at Richie to ask if he could cover for a few minutes and he nodded. He shouts at the order in the kitchen.
“Who’s that asshole?” he asked, getting a glass of pop. 
“My childhood friend,” you said. “We grew up in the same street together,”
“What does he do?”
“Finance…I think? It’s been a while since we last talked. I think last year?” you wondered. “I didn’t even know that he was still in Chicago because we saw each other in New York,”
“Carmy knows him?” 
“No, I don’t think so. I don’t talk about him alot. I think Carmy only knows him as a childhood friend,” you said. “They’ve never met each other.”
Richie gives you the drink and the sandwich that Tina prepared. You uttered a thanks before walking to whereLawrence sat. 
“I didn’t know you worked here,” he said, taking the sandwich from the tray. 
“I didn’t know you still lived here,” you said. “The last time that I saw you was in New York. I thought you were a big finance guy?”
“Ah, I quit,” he shrugged. “Decided to start my own start-up here in Chicago. I had enough savings and well, you know,”
“Of course,” you nod. “I don’t work here. I just help out once a week because everything’s been so busy,”
“Hm,” he hums. “My employees have been raving about the sandwiches here since the new management took over. Decided to try it out and sure enough, you were there.”
“Fuck! Where the fuck were you?” Richie asked Carmy when he finally came through the back door. Some rich asshole has been wooing your girl in the seating area. Says he’s her childhood friend or some shit,”
“Who?” Carmen asked, removing his jacket. 
“Your girlfriend took a break to talk to a customer, Jeff.” Tina said. Carmy frowned, walking briskly to you. The staff huddled, intrigued at how this could unfold. Carmy has never felt jealousy before. He’s never had to deal with girlfriends and their guy friends that definitely look at you too long. He’d never have to deal with Lawrence who was so obviously flirting with you. He’d never have to deal with you accepting it. The jealousy consumes him.
“Carmy! Come here,” you said when you finally noticed him. He’s been standing there for minutes while you listened to this guy drone on about how bored he was with his money. How you were probably meant to see each other again. 
“Hey,” Carmy greets the guy in front of you. A chair scrapes loudly on the floor, reverberating in the whole restaurant. He sits down. 
“Carmy’s the owner of this place,” you told Lawrence. “He’s my boyfriend.”
“He is?” Lawrence asked and Carmy could feel him sizing him up in his dirty white t-shirt. “I’m Lawrence. We grew up together,”
“Oh,” Carmy said. “Uh, babe, can I talk to you for a minute in the office?”
“Sure,” you said. “I have to go,” you told Lawrence, who stood up as well. His sandwich was half-eaten and it annoyed Carmy. Had he no respect to at least finish the food in front of the chef who made it? Asshole. 
“No, it’s fine. I’m leaving too,” Lawrence said. “I have a meeting around here. I’ll see you?” he asked. 
“Of course,” You removed your hand from Carmen to hug Lawrence and it fucking hurt. Lawrence kisses the side of your head before sparing a glance to Carmy. What an asshole. 
“What was it, Carm?” you asked, smiling. You were almost forgiven because of how sweet you looked but Carmy have always felt things too intensely. He couldn’t stop what came from his mouth and it was too late. Too fucking late and the damage has been done.
“Go home,” he said, coldly. Your face fell and Carmen wanted to take it back. He felt you recoil yourself away from him, as if he’s hurt you. As if he burned you.
“Bear?” you asked softly.
“Go home,” he repeated. You frowned, grief-stricken but you nodded. 
“Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll…I’ll just get my stuff from the locker,”
Carmy looks away from you and you clear your throat. Walking away from him, you saw the staff pretend like they weren’t listening.
“Hey, guys. I’m going…going home,” you said, trying to stabilize your wavering voice. Tears were threatening to spill but you blink them away. “I don’t feel well, and I realized I have this…thing to attend to.” you lied.
“Of course, sweets,” Tina says. “Get home safely, okay?” she asked. 
“Yeah. I’ll let you know once I’m home.”
“I’ll come with you,” Sydney says, glaring at Carmen. 
“No, it’s— “
“It’s just a few blocks away. I’ll take you.” she says, and you nodded, walking to the locker room with her. 
“Sorry for being such a bother,” you said while you waited for her to change into her outside shoes. 
“You’re not,” she reassured. “Let’s go?”
-
“I didn’t know what I did wrong,” you said, walking away from The Beef. “I was just so excited to see my friend. We grew up together, you know? In the same street. Went to the same school and we haven’t seen each other in a year. I didn’t know what I did for Carmy to be so mean.”
“It’s okay,” Syd says, not wanting to get in the middle. “Just explain things to him, okay? You’re the only person he listens to.”
“I guess,” you nodded, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I just…he’s never been that way to me before. It feels new and I don’t like it,”
Syd, who’s been on the receiving end of Carmy Berzatto’s anger, wanted to protect you from him but it wasn’t her place. She wanted so badly to tell you to let him cool off.
The remaining walk back to your apartment was quiet. You both didn’t know what to say, where to start. 
“Do you want to come in?” you asked Sydney. “Refresh a bit?”
“No, I’m fine. I might be needed at the restaurant,” Syd says. You nod, going in for a goodbye hug with your friend. “I’ll see you?”
“Yeah. Thanks for walking me home. Stay safe, okay?”
-
The kitchen hated Carmy that day. He was ruder, more annoying, more…insufferable. Tina said that he handled the situation wrong, Eibrahim and the others, except for Richie agreed. So, when Sydney comes back, the first thing she say was, “What the fuck, Carmen?”
“Stay out of it, Sydney,” Richie warns but Sydney did not give a fuck. Seeing her friend so defeated, so sad stirred something in her. Maybe she was biased because she actually liked you
“She was crying all the way from here,” she said. Carmy felt like he was going to throw up. “Grow up, Carmy. Just because you can’t handle that she has other friends, doesn’t mean you have to take it out on her.”
“Fuck off, Sydney.”
Sydney stands, taken aback. She was just trying to help.
“Fine,” she says, blinking. “But if you come to an empty home, don’t take it out on us.”
-
Sydney’s warning rang in his ears as he drove home. He was anxious but his anger superseded every emotion that he was feeling. That was why, when he opened the door, he immediately looked for you. 
“Who was that?” he demanded. Anxiety and anger had such a bad mix and he knew it. He couldn’t stop. That friend of yours made him feel so insecure. 
“Carmen,” you sighed. “He’s my friend. Lawrence. I told you about him before,”
“Carmen?” he chuckled. He’s just Carmen now? “I don’t like him.”
“Why?” you asked, exasperated. “He’s nice. I was actually so excited for the two of you to meet until you ruined it. He’s my friend that I haven’t seen in over a year, Carmy. Wasn’t it a natural reaction to be excited?”
“What? You’re telling me that I ruined your little date in my restaurant?” he asked, voice raising. “That’s nice. Sorry for bothering you,”
“We weren’t even doing anything wrong!” you said, walking away. You didn’t want this—you just wanted to talk about things without screaming. 
“Hey! Get back here, I’m talking to you!”
“Talk about what, Carmen?” you asked. “You’re not listening to me. Okay? What is there to talk about?”
“You let him all over you like that! Took a break just to spend time with him,” he sneered. “And-and he looked at you like you were his. You let him kiss you. You let him do things to you and you just fucking accepted it.”
“What?” you asked. “Lawrence and I grew up like that There’s nothing wrong with it,” you tried. You were probably being too defensive, not letting Carmy explain his side but you were hurt when he dismissed you just like that. When he let you go without a kiss. He just looked away when you were pleading with him. 
“So, you’d rather defend your old fucking friend instead of trying to fix this bullshit,” Carmen spits. “Heard,”
“What?” your heart dropped. “Bullshit?” The first tear falls like it was rehearsed. It broke your heart to hear Carmy call you relationship bullshit when you’ve spent the best days of your life with him. When you helped him through the nightmares…when he took care of you. “Bullshit, huh, Carmen?”
You couldn’t form a string of coherent sentences. Your mouth was agape, trying to process what he just said. Fix this bullshit. Fix this bullshit. You nod, pursing your lips to stop yourself from crying. 
Bullshit. It was when you stayed up late to make sure that he slept peacefully, threading your fingers in his golden hair so he could feel your presence. Bullshit. It was when you picked him up from some bar downtown because he decided to drink with Richie. Bullshit. It was when you sacrificed your days-off just so you could spend more time together. Bullshit. It was when he showed up on your first date with flowers that you pressed in between the pages of your favorite book. Bullshit. It was when Carmen told you that he loved you because you made him a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit. It was ringing in your ear, breaking your heart in a million pieces. 
“Fuck, baby,” Carmen takes it back when you moved to walk towards the door. “I’m sorry— “
“Is that all it was to you?” you asked. “Bullshit? Is that why you dismissed me so coldly earlier? Because it’s bullshit?” Tears are on your face now and you wipe them away. “It’s bullshit, huh?”
“Baby…”
“Don’t,” you said. “Fuck, you’re so…so mean,” you said, crouching on the floor to shield yourself away from him. “I…I don’t know what I did wrong,” you whispered. “And I’m sorry if my actions hurt you but that’s how I grew up with Lawrence. I didn’t know that I was hurting you but, fuck,” you sobbed. “You’re so mean to me, Bear.” You didn’t mean it as an endearment, and he knew that.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he says, crouching down to your level. “I didn’t mean to say that. I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispers, taking you in his arms. You didn’t want to fight back. “I’m sorry for-for doing that. For projecting my insecurities on you. I just…he has life figured out and I could never give you what he could give. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,”
“I don’t want him,” you sniffled. “I’m with you, you know? Please…please, don’t call it bullshit. Because it’s not…for me, at least.”
“It’s not bullshit. I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for saying that. I’m so sorry,” he rambles sincerely. “You’re the best person that I’ve met. I love you. I love you so much that the thought of anyone else loving you drives me mad. I’m sorry,”
“You were mean to me,”
“I was, baby. I was,” he said. “I promise to stop myself from being mean. I’m so sorry. I don’t-don’t want to lose you. Please-please don’t leave me. Please, don’t leave.”
“I’m not going to leave you, Carmen.” you cooed, and you felt his arms tighten around you.
“Not that name, please. I’m just so fucking sorry for saying that and making you feel bad. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” you said. “I’m sorry too. I should have been more considerate. I love you so much, Bear.”
“It’s my fault. All my fault,” 
“It’s not.”
“Can we-can we go to bed?” he asked, pulling away from you. You nodded. That night, when you were half-asleep, you felt his calloused hand caress your cheek. You’d never tell him, but you heard him. Loud and clear.
“I love you,” he whispers. “You don’t know how much I love you and I’m sorry. I love you.”
A/N: No Carmen Berzatto taglist yet! Also, if you’re waiting for the Tommy Shelby fic, you might have a to wait a week more before I release it. I want to release a chapter every week and I haven’t written the second chapter for this week yet. Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to leave comments and reblogs :)
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cherry compote and apricots
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summary: you have an excellent date night idea that will help carmen with work and also fulfill your needs.
pairing: carmen berzatto x female reader
warnings: smut. food play. blindfold. 18+. minors dni. hand restraints (not exactly handcuffs). sub?carmy, switch?carmy. oral f receiving. p in v (wrap it before ya tap it).
a/n: this is my first time writing a full smut like this, please be nice 😭 trying my best
Masterlist
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carmen had texted you earlier to ask what you wanted for dinner, as he decided to just get takeout, too tired to come back home and cook. but you told him not to worry, because you've got everything prepared.
you may not be a chef, but you can cook for two. two plates of pasta are served on the table when carmen enters his apartment, and the smell of focaccia makes him sigh.
"you," he hangs his jacket. "are a gift."
you smile at him while putting the pans away. "tough day at work?"
"like you wouldn't believe." he mutters against your lips, giving you a quick peck. "need me to do anything?"
you shake your head. "just sit down and eat, carm. i'll join you in a sec."
he nods and sits on the couch, taking his plate of food and tasting the pasta you made. "mm. you sure i can't convince you to be a professional chef?"
you chuckle and sit next to him, scooping some pasta sauce with your focaccia. "you flatter me, carm."
carmen finishes his food fast. must've been starving. he grabs your empty plates to wash them and you smile slyly once his back is turned towards you.
"hey carmy,"
he hums in response.
"you want some dessert?"
carmen glances back from the sink and shrugs. "sure. what do you have in mind?"
once you've made sure carmen's finished with the dishes, you sneakily circle your arms around his waist. you can feel the outline of his muscles from his thin shirt and it makes you squeeze your thighs together.
"oh, it's this kind of dessert?"
you pepper kisses from his shoulder up to his neck before he turns around and holds your face in his hands. he sees your blown pupils and chuckles.
"what?"
his smile lingers and he kisses you gently. "nothing."
you moan -- or whine? in his arms and pull him away from the kitchen area to the couch by his waistband. you take his shirt off and push him to sit. "eyes closed."
"huh?"
"eyes. closed." you repeat once again.
he sighs and does as you say. you take out the blindfold you've been keeping behind the couch cushion and tie it around his head, making sure he can't peek.
"kinky, aren't we?"
you kiss the top of his head before going to the fridge to get a few things. you can hear carmen whine when he lost your touch. "i swear, if you leave me like this-"
"i'm not, jesus, don't worry." you roll your eyes and come back with a few bowls of ingredients. you place them in front of him on the table and settle yourself on his lap. "so."
"so?"
"syd told me you're trying to develop a new menu-"
he groans, "i don't really want to talk about work right now-"
"for every ingredient you can guess and pair together," you cut his line and grind down on his crotch. he moans and bucks his hips up. "you'll get a reward."
carmen's hands squeeze your sides firmly and he finally agrees. "fine."
you smile in victory and grab the first bowl of ingredients. "open, carm." you can feel him twitch when you said that, and it gives you a boost of confidence. he gulps and opens his mouth, ready for whatever you're about to pop in his mouth.
the spoon feels cold in his mouth, and he wishes it was your tongue instead. you wipe his lips with your thumb, sucking off the sweet syrup and the sound makes him throw his head back.
"so? what is it?"
carmen swallows and licks his lips. "mango. with honeyed lemons."
"mm-hmm." you pat his cheek and grind your hips down again, feeling how bricked up he is from all the teasing you're doing.
he groans. "can't i at least take these off?" he motions the blindfolds.
"that defeats the purpose of you guessing." you simply say and twist your hips to grab the second bowl. carmen hugs your waist and buries his head in your chest.
"you're killing me."
"carm, we barely started." you say sweetly. "now open."
he obliges and you feed him with your fingers this time. his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "just strawberries?"
you push your thumb against his lips, and he melts when he takes it into his mouth. you'd dipped your thumb into the melted chocolate and now carmen's sucking it off.
"fuck." he curses, licking all the chocolate off of your finger. "of course it's strawberry and chocolate."
"doing so good for me, carmy." you whisper, tracing your thumb he just sucked along his lip. "want your reward?"
he nods aggressively, and you smile at his enthusiasm. you pull your shirt above your head, and though carmen's blindfolded, he knows exactly what you're doing.
his hands make his way up your naked torso and almost reach your breasts. "can i?" he asks. "please?"
he's so cute like this. so vulnerable for you. carmen's sweetness in asking for permission almost made you forget everything and take him right there. but no. you're in control.
you squeeze your boobs together through his hands. he moans and buries his face in your chest, plays with your stiff nipples and he darts his tongue out, but you stop him.
"third set." you push his hands and his head away.
"ugh. how many are there?" he asks, his frustrations evident.
"only two more. open."
carmen opens his mouth, ready for whatever fruit is coming next.
what he didn't expect is you feeding him with your mouth this time. he almost chokes while his hips grind up and his hands grip your hips again. while the rest of the fruit is swallowed, the juices still linger between your lips, swirling around your tongues.
you pull away from him, panting. "what was it, carm?"
"oh, fuck." he totally forgot he's supposed to figure out what the ingredients are. "um, pineapple."
"yeah, and?"
he gulps. it was sweet. you're sweet. maybe the sweetness came from you? from the pineapple? "i uh.. i actually didn't get that one."
"oh?" you expected him to get everything right, but it's nice to see carmen flustered. because of you. "it was rum. guess i'm gonna have to give you a punishment."
as if carmen's pants can't get any tighter.
"hands behind your back, carmy."
"what?"
"you heard me."
he puts his hands behind his back, and you take the fabric covering his eyes off, tying them around his hands instead. carmen's still adjusting from being blindfolded, before being blessed with the sight of your breasts in front of him.
he struggles against the restraints.
"no, where are you going?" he whines when you get off his lap.
grinning at his desperation, you just stare at him while you take your shorts and panties off, now placing yourself on the other edge of the couch.
"last set." you take the bowl and pour the dark red liquid over your bare skin. over your breasts. over your stomach. over your...
carmen's jaw drops as he falls onto his knees. he knows what he has to do.
you take his chin and kiss him for a bit, with the syrup lingering all over your lips. "are you gonna be good?"
carmen nods frantically. "yes. yes. please, just.. please let me.."
"let you what, carmen?"
"let me taste you. please."
the man is practically drooling at this point. you slowly nod and carmen wastes no time to devour you. he starts nipping at your neck, down to the valley of your breasts where he can taste the syrup you poured.
he licks. bites. sucks. like a hungered man.
his kisses trail down to your navel and finally your mound. some of the syrup had trickled down and mixed with your juices. carmen looks at you while he licks one long stripe up.
you moan and buck your hips up to meet his mouth, but he moves away, grinning when he sees your upset expression.
before you can protest or say anything else, he dives back in, finding your clit and circling it with his tongue, sucking ever so gently.
the taste of the syrup mixed with your wetness makes him feel dizzy. so fucking sweet. he looks up at you while he eats you out, and you can only moan when those blue eyes stare at you like that.
your hands are buried in his hair, urging him to push his tongue into you because fuck, you need more. but carmen's not gonna give you that. not until you let his hands free.
come on, you know you need it.
his eyes are begging you.
but you won't give in. not when you're so close. so you grind down on his face, possibly suffocating him, as you chase your own high. carmen's never seen anything hotter.
"fuck. fuck. fuck. FUCK." your back arches as you pulse against his mouth, lapping up all your juices and leaving a few final kisses before he gets up to kiss you.
you help him get out of his pants that now have a wet stain, and get on top of him.
"fuck yes." you hear him whisper as you tease his angry red tip against your entrance.
you slowly sink yourself down. he's fucking big. as you take all of him, carmen keeps bucking his hips up, hitting your cervix with his tip. you're panting and clenching as you feel him entirely inside, and you finally start lifting and rolling your hips.
"oh my god." he moans. "you feel fucking amazing."
"yeah?" you smile sweetly at him, leaving wet kisses on his neck.
"yeah. so fucking warm and tight. fuck. baby." he furrows his brows while moving his hips to meet your thrusts even harder.
you can feel a familiar knot in your lower stomach and the tightness that comes and goes, and you struggle to keep your balance.
"carmy... gonna cum..." you moan, your thrusts becoming erratic.
carmen takes this as a sign to break free from his restraints that's been loose for a while and grab your hips, slamming you down on his cock.
"carmen!" you scream, unable to control your voice and hips anymore. it's now just carmen moving you up and down in an unrelenting pace.
"yeah, just like that. fuck. ahh, fuck you're so tight." he moans. "come on, baby, cum with me. cum on my cock."
a few particular deep and hard thrusts from carmen had you squirting all your juices and milking him dry. he's still rutting into you when you're finished, and you see the adorable frown he has while he's filling you up.
your breaths sync as you lay on his chest, unable to move just yet. carmen doesn't mind. he loves seeing you all fucked out like this. especially knowing it's because of him.
carmen smiles. "cherry compote."
you chuckle. "and?"
"apricots."
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pearlzier · 2 months
Text
⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🐾 ★
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pairing : carmen berzatto x fem!reader
summary : carm is fucking flabbergasted to hear you've never had a proper valentine's day, let alone a special meal. so he has to rectify it as soon as possible.
word count : 2.28k
tags: the bear, jeremy allen white, fluff, valentine's day, carmen berzatto, carmy berzatto, established relationship, awkward carm <3, BEST MAN EVER.
a/n: got this idea from @aliaugustaa, i thought it was so cute so i just had to do it :3 who needs an irl valentines when u have ur little chef man, making sure u know u deserve the best amiright.
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it all started when carmen had overheard you, syd and tina talking. he'd been in his office, trying to get some work done with the door slightly ajar, considering the air conditioning in the room was shit, when the three of you had struck up a conversation. he hadn't paid much attention to it. he occasionally tuned into the sound of your voice, of course, but the details of the words you were saying remained mostly lost on him.
until he heard the mention of ‘valentine's day’ come from tina. fuck. if he had to be honest, it'd been years since he'd last.. celebrated? valentine's day? before you, he didn't actually have any reason to do anything for it. carmen avoided the day like the plague, actually, with the bare minimum being done in terms of heart themed menu times. but even he knew that you would've been expecting a valentine's gift from him, right? you two had been dating for what, nearly a year now, so he had to think of something.
that started his panic in terms of what he was going to get you. he had no fucking clue. but what took him out even more was your words, as you leant against the counter with your notepad: “valentine's day is so overrated,” okay.. “i haven't had a valentine since i was like, fifteen, and i'm perfectly fine.”
perfectly fine.
his blue eyes darted quickly to the calendar on his desk, fixing onto ‘february 14th’ almost instantly. he can't bite back a smile at the heart you'd drawn around the date, with ‘v-day’ scrawled messily on it. but all the cuteness aside, he had.. one week. he didn't need to do anything amazing for you, no, considering you did think the holiday was overrated, however he felt there was an unsworn duty for him to prove to you that you were special, and deserved the best.
he sorted the week that he had left into phases. there were four phases, all of them intricately, messily, planned to ensure you'd have a great day. and he'd managed to do all of it right under your nose.
of the four phases, first came the easiest one. slowly easing you into the idea of valentine's day. you weren't stupid, no, you were quiet observant and god knows you would've picked up on any new behaviours from your boyfriend, so he had to try to integrate the day of love into work first.
convincing everyone to mention valentine's day, not obsessively, but repetitively to try get it into your routine wasn't difficult. it was a restaurant, for god's sake, of course they'd have some sort of valentine's menu, right?
so he got marcus to start making some particularly love themed desserts — “uh, sure. don't mind it.” you hadn't seemed to pay much attention to the ginormous order of cupid stickers out back, which worked heavily in his favour.
“yo, cousin, don't worry. she'll be walkin’ ‘round with the whole ass arrow by the time i'm done,” — richie was just as eager to get you in a lovey-dovey mood, with his passing comments about how eva was a total bachelorette and that all the kids in her class were gonna be throwing presents onto her desk.
there was no way to tell whether that was true or not. no one really asked.
“hey, cool, i'm feeling it,” — tina was also happy to help, being overly lovey with you around the restaurant. it was quite unlike her, but still, you didn't mind the affection. little hugs, forehead kisses from dear aunt tina weren't that bad.
“she's gonna realise that we're going overboard,” — syd was the most reluctant. she'd have much rather told you about what they were doing, as opposed to keeping it a secret. however carm was good at convincing her, and it was for a good cause too. so, she let it slide, pushing the valentine's agenda with little doodles of cupids or hearts on her menu designs. you liked them.
so that was phase one done. pretty simple, if carmy says so himself. and you didn't mention anything about it. perfect. he felt a little weird keeping something from you, but, of course, it was a good cause, right?
with phase one completed, he had to move onto phase two. this one was probably his second favourite of all of them. bringing valentine's into the house. valentine's day was all about love. he loves you, of course. it was the reason why he was doing all of this in the first place. so he thought the best way to do this phase was to get you in the mood.
you were very clearly confused by the romcom that was playing on the tv screen when he ushered you into the living room, but you didn't ask many questions considering how tired you were. “carm,” you began, brow furrowing, before you shrugged, moving over to settle on the couch. tilting your head over to the direction of the kitchen, your eyes found carmy bringing over the chinese takeout. it'd been a while since you two had indulged in it, but he knew full well it was your favourite. “you're the best,” his smug little smile told you a lot, but not about his little scheme and its phases.
“i know, babe,” he hums, bringing over the tray and settling it onto the coffee table. carmen shuffled over, settling onto the couch beside you, gently lifting your box onto your lap before he took his own. it wasn't unlike him to take care of you like this, but there was something more tender in how he was helping you. sweet, yes, but it was making you a tad bit suspicious. “you okay?” he asked softly, voice gentle and low, as a small little smile played on his lips.
“mhm,” you nodded, just snuggling beside him with the takeout box in your grasp. you two usually didn't watch romcoms, usually finding a good drama or sitcom however you didn't mind it. this one in particular was quite good.
and besides, carmen having his arm slung around your waist as you two ate was a perfect feeling. so despite your suspicions, you let him have this moment without asking him.
that was phase two done. not too shabby, really. richie and, actually, literally everyone in the bear was a tad bit sick of carmen's rambling about how amazing you were. they literally all knew it, since you were their colleague, but god, could this man talk.
the third phase was one that carmy realised perhaps should've come earlier. it was just getting you things that you liked, without you realising. which was harder than it sounded, considering carmen was shit at keeping things from you, and you were usually the one who looked at orders to the apartment. so he needed the help of his sister, natalie. she was so eager to help that it was a little overwhelming. “so what do they like anyway?” natalie asked as she pushed the cart beside carmen, eyes flickering over to his in curiosity. “bear?”
he was uh, stressing. he loved you so much, and—well, “god, sugar, i love her—” he ran a hand through his curls, eyes widening as soon as he saw the giant valentine's day display in the store. a quiet groan slipped past his lips and he bit his knuckles for a moment, glancing desperately over at his sister. “peach deserves the fuckin’ world, y'know? just wan’ make it special for her,” the pity, and adoration, in natalie's gaze softened her eyes immediately and she gave him a quick pat on the back.
“right,” it was her personal mission now to ensure that you and her brother had a perfect day on valentine's. she was sure of it. a small little grin played on her lips as she ushered him over to the display, and she leant against the cart. “okay, what would she like? something lovey? sentimental?”
“don't fuckin’ know,” carmen muttered under his breath, rubbing his temple as he looked over the many valentine's themed things available. holy shit, this was harder than he thought. he knew you so well and yet, what you'd like evaded him.
“okay, well,” natalie picks up a random white teddy bear, brows raising in question as she offers it to her brother. he grabs at it, squeezes it perhaps a little too hard out of frustration but slowly relaxes his tight grip on it. “okay, that one's going in.”
the shopping trip continued like this, with natalie suggesting things that she thought you might like, with carmy giving his wordless responses. it was kind of therapeutic for nat, to be fair. and carmen was getting the stuff he needed for you. he'd have to thank natalie after, considering soon after he was done with phase three, he was into the final phase. the actual valentine's gift.
this was probably his favourite part. of course, carmen was a chef by nature. so he knew a valentine's dinner was in order. he was sort of sick of hearing anything related to the saint, however he could relax with this part. he'd made sure that syd would keep you out of the apartment for at least three hours. having even gone to the lengths of giving money for you guys to spend, he was clearly working hard. he knew your palette, so well in fact, that he didn't even think twice about what he was preparing.
from what you loved to eat, to what you despised, carmen knew it all. and he wanted to spoil you in terms of what he made, so he also gave sydney strict instructions that the two of you weren't allowed to get any food. hey, he wanted you to have enough room to eat.
he'd planned everything immaculately, of course, but when he heard you and syd at the door, he almost panicked. the table was laid out perfectly, all of your favourite foods available. a flush filled his cheeks at the thoughts of richie's previous words: “shit, cousin’, you a fuckin’ simp,” rang through his head and he scratched the back of his neck nervously, sitting at the table.
“thanks, syd,” your voice called from down the hall at the door, your smile evident in your voice. it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter, and he shifted where he sat. “m'back, carm!” you were making your way down the hall now, nearing the living room where you assumed he'd be. he was not. “carm—?”
your brow furrowed, since he'd have mentioned he'd be out if he was going to be. “carm,” you hummed as you wandered into the dining room area, not looking into the room until you did, and your lips parted into an expression of shock. “holy shit.”
you're surprised you didn't burst into literal tears seeing carmen sat at the table, wide blue eyes lifting to yours from the table cloth. his cheeks were rosey, a sheepish expression adorning his lips. “fuck, this is dumb,” he got up, scratching the back of his neck once more, “i know you don't—oh, shit, peach—”
his eyes widened as you barelled into him, wrapping your arms around his frame as his hands slid over your lower back. biting his bottom lip, he lifted a hand to your face, just to see your expression. “oh my god, carm,” tears threatened to spill from your eyes, bottom lip trembling. carmen's expression only softener, and grew a tad bit guilty.
“oh, no, baby, don't cry,” his thumb stroked over your jaw, brow furrowing. carmen soon pressed a peck to your forehead, his hand cupping your lower back and bringing you into his body. “can't eat ‘n’ cry at the same time,” he soothed with a soft chuckle whilst he cradled the back of your head.
“so this is what you were doin’?” your mumbly words come all soft, watery, glossy eyes lifting up to his as you frown. you may be about to cry, sure, but it's for a good reason. “all this time? oh my god, is it because of what i said to syd and tina?”
a sheepish nod followed, his hands brushing away your tears gently. he smiled, nuzzling your nose with his own as he brushed his lips with yours, squeezing you tight against his chest. “uh-huh,” he muttered, “didn't notice earlier?”
“nuh-uh,” god, you felt kinda dumb for not realising. but also glad you didn't, since you wouldn't be as overjoyed as you are right now. you squeeze tight around his waist once more before you drag him back into sitting down. hey, you were hungry considering his little scheme. “god, carm,” you bite your bottom lip, looking over all the food. not to mention the valentine's themes decorations.
“so everyone was in on it?” you lean against the table, watching as carmen dished out your plate for you, his blue eyes lingering on the food before they lifted to yours when he heard your question. he gives a little nod, pushing your plate towards you. then, he pours you a glass of wine, all smiles. “god, that's why—oh my god!”
giddy, absolutely giddy, would describe you right now. over the fucking moon.
“and when you and nat went out? you guys never go out, holy shit,” you grabbed your fork, leaning against the table with a little smile. that smile soon became the biggest grin he'd ever seen. “babe, this is too much,” you frowned, gaze all fond.
“wait till you see the gifts,” he mumbled around a spoonful of pasta, avoiding your gaze and focusing on his plate.
“carmen!”
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katelynnwrites · 2 months
Text
There Ain't No Love (Like Our Love) | Sydney Lohmann
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warnings: some angst
word count: 1890
summary: syd suddenly gets insecure and worried about the age difference in your relationship with her
a/n: requested :)
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Humming quietly, you push your face further into the crook of your girlfriend’s neck.
She smells heavenly and she must feel you moving around because her arms tighten around your waist.
‘Too early.’ Sydney grumbles.
You chuckle and press a good morning kiss onto her skin.
‘Love you sonnenschein.’
‘I love you more.’ She whispers.
Laughing softly, you cup her face with your hand.
Tenderly, you stroke your thumb across her cheekbone. It’s an act of immeasurable adoration, one that has your girlfriend’s heart skipping a beat.
‘Not possible.’ You murmur.
‘Believe me it is. I love you. I love you.’ She declares, as she sits up to kiss you properly.
Her lips move against yours with purpose, as she pours every ounce of her affection for you into it.
You sigh happily and the midfielder leans over you, pushing her advantage as she swings her leg over your body to straddle you.
With the way she’s kissing you, you know you are not getting out of bed anytime soon.
******
You’re right.
Both you and Syd rush into the locker room, just a fraction of a minute on time.
As you sit down in your cubby and begin to hurriedly put your boots on, Klara teases, ‘Had a late night?’
‘No. Not that it’s any of your business.’ You huff.
‘Okay kleine.’ The forward sings.
‘Not a baby.’
You know she’s riling you up and yet, can’t help but retort.
Klara laughs, ‘How old are you again?’
‘One week away from turning nineteen.’
‘Exactly! A child! The fans call you Baby Bayern for a reason.’
She flounces out of the room with a look of delight and you roll your eyes, shoving your shin pads into your socks.
‘Very mature.’ Giulia mocks.
You jump, having not noticed her earlier and groan, ‘Oh not you too.’
‘Relax…I meant her. For all of your eighteen years, you’re far more mature than we give you credit for. Certainly more responsible and sensible than Klara. Except when you let her get under your skin of course.’
Your teammate adds the last sentence cheekily and you smile.
‘Thanks Giuli.’
******
In training, you partner up with Syd as usual but when you give her a grin, she only responds with a small smile.
You don’t know what to make of it but try to assure yourself that she is simply tired.
It’s after the first drill, when she gets Georgia to switch with her that you know for certain that something is wrong.
Never once in your entire relationship or your previous friendship with her has she done that.
It throws you off and while you try your best to remain focused on practice, your passes do not connect and you miss easy shots on goal.
You’re an anxious mess by the time training ends and everyone can see it.
Everyone but your girlfriend apparently.
You spend a long time in the showers, trying to get rid of your thoughts under the hot water.
When you emerge, Sydney is gone.
The both of you had come together and with the blonde taking her car, you’re left without a ride.
You must look lost as you stand in the car park because Magda and Pernille take pity on you, offering to drop you off.
‘Syd’s place or yours?’ Magda asks gently and you hesitate before answering.
‘Mine please.’
Your voice is small but your words reflect how you are feeling. You don’t want to see Sydney right now.
You don’t say much for the duration of the car ride and when you reach your apartment, Pernille gets out of the car with you, to give you a tight hug.
One that you soak in and appreciate all the more because of how badly you need it.
‘Call if you need anything. Even if you just need someone to talk to.’
‘Especially if you need someone to talk to.’ Magda calls out.
‘Thank you.’ You softly say and give your teammates a little wave before you disappear inside the building.
******
Your apartment is cold and empty. It’s dusty too because you haven’t been here in weeks.
Not since you unofficially moved in with the midfielder.
Sydney had cleared two of her drawers and set aside half of her closet space for you, three months ago.
Your toiletries and hairbrush are in her bathroom, your makeup and perfume on her vanity table.
You live there now. Her apartment is your home too.
Maybe for not much longer though.
Because Sydney gives you stone cold silence. You check your phone repeatedly for the rest of the day but she doesn’t text or call.
When you curl up to sleep alone, you can’t help but cry.
How could a day that started so perfectly end in a completely opposite way?
******
Turning up to training the next day, you can feel everyone’s eyes on you and your blotchy cheeks.
Klara takes you aside immediately.
For all of her teasing, she cares deeply about you. Like an older sister, she can be very protective.
‘What’s wrong? Please don’t lie to me. I know something is wrong and if yesterday was anything to go by, it has to do with Sydney.’
She squeezes your hand and you feel the shaky dam you built overnight break.
Everything comes out in a rush, ‘She had Georgia switch with her during training. She left me here and didn’t say anything. Klara, is my relationship with her over? I-Is this her way of breaking up with me? I don’t know what to think.’
You sob and the forward pulls you into a tight hug.
‘I don’t know what’s going through her head but I don’t think she’s breaking up with you. She loves you. Everyone can see that.’
‘I know she loves me but I don’t feel it now.’
You muffle your crying in Klara’s shoulder and that is the reason why you don’t see Sydney until it’s too late.
‘I’m sorry.’ She breathes.
You flinch and she sucks in a deep breath, hurt flashing across her own eyes. You have never rejected her before but she guesses that in this current situation, she deserves it.
‘I am so sorry.’
The blonde looks like she has been crying herself, the entire night if the dark circles under her eyes are anything to go by.
You don’t know what to do. It’s one thing for you to be hurting and another for your girlfriend to be hurting too. No matter how much pain and confusion she puts you through, you will always care about her.
Sydney takes your lack of response as a refusal and she begs, ‘Please…I love you. Can we talk?’
The German woman’s face falls even further when you still don’t say anything. In fact, you squeeze Klara’s hand in yours even more tightly.
Your girlfriend sniffles but meaningfully says, ‘Okay. I understand that you need some time. Text me when you’re ready to talk. I’ll wait for you. I’m always going to wait for you.’
She turns back around to leave, quickly doing so to hide her falling tears but you quietly tell her, ‘Stay. We can talk.’
Letting go of your friend’s hand, you try to give her a reassuring smile.
Klara doesn’t buy it but respects your decision, kissing your cheek gently and leaving. She shuts the door behind her with a click, giving you and Syd privacy.
As soon as she does, Sydney is trying to explain herself, ‘I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t love you. I do. I love you so much that every important person in my life has heard your name. Everyone I know will have to know you to understand me. That is how deep of an imprint you have left on me. I hope you will continue to do so forever.’
‘Oh.’ You breathe, not expecting the blonde to say anything of the sort.
‘I’m sorry.’ She says again.
‘I don’t understand. Why’d you have Georgia change with you? Why did you leave without me and not say anything? Syd, are you breaking up with me?’
‘No….I-I don’t want to break up with you. Not unless you want to break up with me.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I mean that Klara is right. What she said about you…’
‘Me?’
Your confusion is growing with every word out of the midfielder’s mouth and you shake your head, ‘Sonnenschein, help me understand? I don’t want to break up with you.’
‘You are just about to turn nineteen. I’m twenty three.’
‘Sydney?’
‘Klara said you’re a baby and I know you are not but there is still a four year age difference between us.’
‘Does that bother you?
As hard as you try to keep it from happening, your voice still wobbles.
Your girlfriend squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening them with a quiet sigh.
‘No. But the fans judge. Our teammates might judge.’
‘Syd!’
There is no mistaking the anger that is rushing through you and the blonde winces.
‘Are you serious? You wait till we’re almost a year into our relationship to think about that? To want to back out?’
Sydney’s hazel eyes widen considerably, ‘No! I’m just worried that their words might affect you. That you might be hurt by whatever they have to say. I love you but I can love you from afar if it means it will be easier for you.’
You give her a shove, ‘Fuck you for being such an idiot sonnenschein.
‘What?’
‘I love you. I love you for being you but did it not cross your mind to talk to me? You spiraled and I could have pulled you out of it.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She mumbles.
‘I don’t care what anyone else says. You love me and I love you. Both our families support our relationship and none of our teammates have ever said anything less than positive. That’s all that matters to me. It’s enough for me, is it enough for you?’
‘You are enough for me.’ The German woman breathes.
‘Then let it go Syd. Don’t worry about all the outside noise and simply focus on us.’
Your girlfriend stares at you for a long moment before letting out a sob.
Tentatively, she asks, ‘Can I kiss you?’
Smiling through your tears, you tiptoe and kiss her gently in answer.
The blonde midfielder audibly sighs in relief.
‘Don’t know what I did to deserve you.’ She murmurs against your lips in between kissing you, one, two, three, four times.
‘I’m going to make it up to you. Won’t let my thoughts spin me around again and if they begin to, I swear I won’t shut you out. I’ll talk to you.’
‘Okay.’ You whisper and lean fully into her arms, as she presses one last kiss onto your forehead.
Her fingers delicately brush loose strands of hair out of your face and she cradles your face in her hands before she drops her hands in favour of hugging you.
‘I love you. Endlessly.’ Your girlfriend promises, holding you tightly against her.
‘I love you too and just to be clear, you’re not breaking up with me and I’m not breaking up with you?’
Sydney groans at your slight teasing.
‘No. Never.’
You laugh and slip your hand into hers, ‘Good.’
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German Translations:
kleine - little one
sonnenschein - sunshine
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wannabeschyulersister · 2 months
Text
might as well be drunk in love
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*part two to lovelorn and nobody knows*
part one
warnings: mentions of a panic attack
It had been four and a half months since you left The Bear behind. Despite being so heartbroken over the what happened, you made yourself get up each day. There wasn’t time to let the sadness consume you. You had to move on.
Your dream one day was to open your own restaurant and you couldn’t do that if you were wallowing.
Part of you wanted to cut everyone off for the fresh start that you so desperately wanted. But it wasn’t their fault that you were heartbroken.
Plus, Tina would kick your ass if you stopped talking to her.
So, you kept up with everyone. Minus Carmen. It was just easier this way. The others mentioned him a couple of times and you’d noticed that it got easier and easier to hear his name without it hurting you.
You kept yourself busy with work and maintaining friendships that you built at The Bear while also making new ones. You tried so very hard to keep that tattooed blue-eyed man out of your mind.
The restaurant that you were a sous chef now wasn’t as flashy as The Bear had turned out to be. It still had that family-like style that you liked.
You still followed the same habits that you had at The Bear. So, you grabbed your coat and headed outside for your break. It was around 6:30. You liked to have some calming moments before the dinner rush.
When you stepped out the back door to the alley, you were stunned to see Carmen standing there leaning against the wall.
You both just stood there for a few seconds not saying anything. You wondered if you were truly losing it. If he was just a figment of your imagination.
“Hey.” He said snapping you out of your thoughts. He looked good like always. He was wearing his classic blue jeans, plain white tee and an olive bomber jacket. His hair was haphazardly styled but still looked incredible.
“What are you doing here?”
“I figured you still followed the same break time.”
“How did you know where I worked?”
“Syd told me. Well, I uh, I begged her to tell me. I didn’t know if you’d answer my calls. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
“About?”
“Why you really left the restaurant. I asked everyone when you left for a reason why. They didn’t know. Or they just didn’t want to tell me.”
“I already told you why I left.”
“Yeah? Well I don’t believe you, (Y/n).”
“I don’t have time for this.” You started to walk away but Carmen quickly moved in front of you. He blocked the back door.
“You practically ignored me the last two weeks you were there. You didn’t answer my calls and stopped texting me. Was it- did I make you uncomfortable?”
“No!” You quickly answered.
“Then what was it? I’ve been drivin’ myself crazy tryin’ to figure out why you left.”
“Because I’m in love with you!” You wanted to scream out.
Carmen froze. “You’re what?”
Shit. Looks like you actually did say it out loud.
“Uh, I didn’t mean-“
“Wait, you left because you have feelings for me?”
“Please forget that I said that. I didn’t mean it and I- I know that you’re-“ you felt like you were on the verge of a panic attack. You couldn’t believe that you’d blurted out that you were in love with Carmen to him.
“Hey. Hey, take a deep breath.” You felt Carmen cup your face between his hands. His face was so close to yours if you leaned up, your lips would be on his.
Carmen breathed in deeply with you, held it for four seconds and then exhaled. The breathing technique normally worked for you but it helped how close in proximity he was. His touch alone put you at ease.
You were more completely overwhelmed instead of having a panic attack. You knew the difference. The embarrassment of having told Carmen that you were in love with him made you just want to fall out.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly after a few moments.
“No, I’m mortified.”
You heard him chuckle, “That’s a first for me. I’ve never had someone say they’re mortified with being in love with me.”
Taking a step back, you removed yourself from his grasp. In that moment, you’d forgotten that he was spoken for. He had a girlfriend. It was inappropriate to be so wrapped up.
“I shouldn’t have said that. You’re with Claire and I respect relationships.”
“(Y/n)-“
“No, you shouldn’t be here. You should be with your girlfriend and I have to get back to work.”
Carmen raised his voice, “(Y/n)!” He stepped closer to you again, “Claire and I broke up.”
“What?”
“After you left, I, uh, I took it really hard. I don’t know if Sydney told you.”
You shook your head, “I told them I didn’t want to hear anything about…you. Or Claire for that matter.”
“I didn’t want to really interact with anyone. Even more than usual. I missed having you around and-and our talks during our break. You always put me in a good fuckin’ mood just by your presence. Sometimes when things were stressful as fuck, I’d look over at you, and-and you’d smile at me and-“
“And what?” He literally had you hanging on every word.
“And I knew that everything would be okay.” He answered looking deeply into your eyes, “When Claire confronted me about how I’d been actin’, I realized then that what we had it wasn’t how it should be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I should get those fuckin’ butterflies that people always talk about. I should be at ease when she’s around. I should be able to sit in silence with her but things not be so damn awkward. It should be comfortable. It should be like how I feel with you.” Carmen finished.
What a turn of events this conversation had turned out to be. One minute, you thought he was some illusion and the next he was practically confessing that he had feelings for you too.
“You have feelings for me?”
Carmen nodded, “It took me to realize it when you walked out of The Bear for the last time. I was scared that I’d never see you again. I gave you space because I thought that’s what you wanted. But, I’m crazy in love with you. I didn’t want to not tell you how I feel.”
“I’m glad you did tell me. I don’t think I’d ever have the courage to tell you.”
“I wish you would’ve. I feel like we wasted a lot of time where we could’ve been together.”
“And what would we be doing if we were together?” You confidently took a step closer to him again. He was close enough to kiss.
Carmen smiled, “Well, first, I’d grab you here,” he placed his hands on your waist pulling you towards his body, “then, I’d lift up your chin lightly,” he did so.
His face tilted down towards you, “and then I’d kiss you.”
When he finally pressed his lips against yours, the world around you went silent. In that damn moment, you didn’t even remember your name.
You didn’t care that it was freezing outside. You didn’t care that you were most likely past your fifteen minutes on your break. You just cared that Carmen Berzatto was kissing you.
The back door opened and you heard your friend and the pastry chef call your name, “(Y/n)? Do you always make out with strangers on your break?”
This made the both of you laugh. “I have to get back inside.”
“Can I come and pick you up afterwards? I want to see you again tonight.” Carmen asked after he kissed you softly one last time.
“I get out around 10. Don’t be a minute late, Berzatto.”
“I wouldn’t dare be late.”
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nolita-fairytale · 2 months
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pov: you're a record shop owner!reader dating carmen berzatto
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a/n: i have full intentions on writing this as a oneshot but couldn't get it out in time for valentine's day so i wanted to have fun with a lil headcanon that would require less of my mental bandwidth. anyway, happy v-day carmy cuties!!
dating carmy as a record shop owner would be like:
in my head you meet at The Bear after a bad date. sydney, who you meet in the restroom takes pity on you and lets you sneak out of the back. you catch carmy on a smoke break and ask if you can bum a cigarette off of him. the two of you get to talking and you let him know you own a record store just a few blocks away. "you should stop by sometime."
of course, he doesn't. so a few weeks go by and just when you think there's no way he'll come by, a taller man, followed by sydney, is practically pushing him through the door under the guise of looking for the latest taylor swift record on vinyl.
you shoot the man a look (like there's no way in hell that a place like this carries taylor swift on vinyl but okay) and even though you don't have it, you offer to order it for him. the man, who you learn is called richie, goes to check out the rest of your shop, giving you, carmy, and sydney some time to talk.
you thank sydney again for helping you out. she does most of the talking but ends up inviting you to a movie thing in the park they're going to. you think, at least you'll make some new friends out of this, as you agree to go.
by the end of the hang, carmy finally musters up the courage to talk to you one on one, prompting you to make the first move by asking him out. and you know what they say. the rest is history.
okay so i'm thinking about the beautifuly agony of trying to make the perfect playlist for carmy when you decide that it's time and that you really, really like him. you spend a few days going back and forth over the perfect opener, closer, and what story you're trying to tell with the playlist. it can't be TOO 'i'm absolutely head over heels for you' but you want him to know that you're pretty damn infatuated.
you're pretty involved in the local live music community, so you're almost always going to a show. when carmy finally joins you for one, he's definitely hella anxious about it -- even though it's a smaller venue. but he wants to try for you!
making better memories at the bear beside your lackluster date. the first time you go back, you sit at the bar and get the colorful cast of characters that makes up the restaurant. the second time you go back, you bring your girlfriends for a girls' night and everyone is incredibly impressed by the food, the hospitality, and of course, you're very very cute exec chef boyfriend.
after your girls' night, you head over to your favorite bar, and carmy and syd meet you over there for drinks after their shift. you love the way your lives and worlds have begun to intertwine.
i'm thinking about these japanese-inspired hi-fi vinyl bars that keep popping up around the states and how if you decided to open one, carmy would be able to advise you on opening an entire bar?? OR as the bear expands its hospitality group, you outfit the bar with its vinyl collection.
the first time carmy cooks for you, you have the entire night's soundtrack picked out. you've spent all week thinking about which vinyls should underscore the night and it's filled with good food, great music, and even better sex.
i may add to this later today but wanted to get some of these thoughts out on metaphorical paper!!
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fandomunite2107 · 3 months
Text
Help Wanted (Pt. 2)
Summary: Carmy not liking the idea of you working somewhere else.
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Pulling into a parking spot at the restaurant, both you and Carmy unbuckle your seatbelts. You leave your groceries on the floorboard of his car, but take your bag as you open the door to his car.
“I just need to take care of something really quick. Shouldn’t be long.” Carmy says as he opens and holds the door to the restaurant for you.
“No rush. Take your time.” You say as you enter through the back of the building. Once you are inside you see Richie with a couple of other people standing around the kitchen.
Richie notices you first. “Hey kid. Didn’t think I’d see you so soon.” Everyone turns to look to see who he is talking to and you smile and do a small wave. Richie then looks at Carmy with a smirk. “What’s got you two hanging out with each other?”
“Shut up Richie.” Carmy says. “Y/n, this is Sydney and this is my sister Nat.” He nods in the direction of each woman. “You already know my asshole cousin over there.”
“I’m not an asshole, you’re an asshole. You’re the one who fired the girl today.” Richie says.
“Wait, you worked here?” Sydney asked looking confused.
“For about an hour before I realized that the job didn’t exist.” Nat and Sydney looked at you as you continued. “Richie hired me without talking to Carmy about it.”
They both reply at the same time with a chorus of “Oh, yeah that tracks” and “Figures.”
Carmy runs his hand through his hair. “Alright, that’s enough. Syd, what’s the issue with the menu?”
“Might as well follow me to the office. Once they get started on that damn thing it takes forever for them to take a break.” Nat says to you as she starts to walk away. Following her into the office, you take a look around and see piles of papers on every surface, even the floor. “How good are you at organizing?” She asks as she takes a seat on the floor next to one of the larger stacks of papers.
“Honestly, I’m pretty amazing at it. I find it kind of soothing.” You say as you place your bag on an almost empty area of the desk and take a seat next to her.
After going through one of the stacks of papers together, you stretch your arms above your head and move your shoulders around. “It doesn’t even look like we made a dent.”
Nat stands up and looks around. “I actually think it multiplied.” She holds her hand out to help you stand. Looking at the time, you realize that it is much later than you thought. “You want a ride home? I think they’re still working.” Nat offers.
“I’d appreciate that.” You grab your bag from the desk and follow Nat back to the kitchen, where you see Carmy cutting up some vegetables.
“Hey Bear. I’m going to head out and take y/n home. Where’s Syd?” Nat asks as she digs through her bag pulling out a set of keys.
“Shit. Didn’t know it’s this late.” He glances at the clock and puts his knife down on the cutting board. “Syd. She had to take my car and go pick up her dad.” Carmy looks at you and runs his hand through his already messed up hair. “S-Sorry. I lost track of time. Syd should be back soon and I can take you home.”
“It’s fine.” You try to hold back a sigh. It’s not fine. Your groceries were in his car, a car that is no longer here. It could be worse you thought, at least you don’t have to walk home in the dark.
“Don’t stay too late Carm. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Nat looks at you and asks if you’re ready to go.
“Sure. Bye Carmy.” You give a small wave, which he returns with a nod, and follow Nat out the building.
After giving directions to Nat on how to get your apartment, it doesn’t take very long to get to your building. You thank her for the ride and walk up the stairs. Once you reach your apartment and walk in, you take off your shoes and lay your bag down. It has been a long day, and you are exhausted. Slipping into some pajamas, you plug your phone in and turn off the lamp on the night stand before crawling into bed. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep.
With the sun coming through the curtains you just bought, you wake up glancing at the clock. Knowing that you have things you want to get done today, you shower and get dressed for the day. Remembering that you still don’t have your groceries, you go to the cafe that you went to yesterday. With your bank account in mind you only order a pastry and a drink, which you eat at a table as you people watch. Once you have finished your breakfast, you open up your bag to find your list of things to do. Finding a part time job is still on there, and you decide that is where you are going to start today. Walking out of the cafe, you see a bulletin board by the door with a variety of papers advertising jobs pinned. Most of them are for restaurants or local bars. Taking a picture of some of the papers, you notice that one restaurant isn’t too far from here. Deciding to check that one out, knowing that you don’t have any experience in the food industry, but hoping that they’re desperate enough to hire you.
After walking a couple of blocks you arrive at the restaurant, not knowing if the place is open yet you try the door. When it opens and you walk in the entrance, not seeing anyone around. “Hello?” You call out.
“One moment.” You hear someone shout out to you, appearing a moment later. “Hi. What can I do for you?”
“I’m y/n. I saw an ad that you were hiring. I was hoping to get an application.” You say as you hold your hand out to shake.
“I’m not the manager, but I will tell you we are doing open interviews later on tonight from 5-7. If you’re interested, I will tell you that there is a uniform that you have to wear. It’s also encouraged to wear it during the interview. It’s free to take it and if you don’t get the job you just have to return it, if you don’t you pay for it.” She says.
Not entirely sure how you feel about a uniform and not knowing what it looks like, you decide that it’s worth a shot “I’ll be here. Do you have a uniform that I can get?”
A phone rings from the back. “I gotta take that. The uniforms are in the closet over there help yourself to your size. Fill out this form and be here between 5-7.” She says as she walks off handing you a form.
Opening the closet that she pointed out to you, you see dozen of hangers with the restaurant’s uniform. Finding your size and picking it up, you think that it could be worse. The skirt looks short and the top seems like it would barely cover anything, but it’s not the worse thing you have ever worn for a job. Taking the clothes and putting them in your bag, you head back to your apartment to work on a few items before the interview later.
About an hour before the interview you start to get ready, you do your hair and put on some make up along with the uniform. As you predicted, it’s a bit short and the top barely just contains everything. You could just bring the uniform to the restaurant and change before the interview, but what if there isn’t time and what if everyone who’s applying already has it on. You feel safer just wearing it to the interview. Not really wanting to walk the few blocks dressed in this uniform you put a coat on, even though you’ll be warm, you at least feel more covered. Making sure you have everything, you grab your bag and start to head out of your apartment building.
As you shut the main door to your apartment building and start to go down the front steps, you see Carmy getting out of his car.
“Carmy?”
“Uh. H-hi. I asked Nat where you lived. Hope you don’t mind. I wanted to drop off your groceries from yesterday.”
“O-oh. Um. Thank you. I appreciate that.” You walk closer to his car.
He opens the passenger door and takes the bags out. You go to grab the bags from him but he refuses.
“I got this. Just lead the way.” He says.
Not wanting to be rude. You thank him and walk him up to your apartment. Having done the stairs twice now in your coat, you are starting to get warm. Opening the door to your apartment you both walk in. Carmy places the bags on the kitchen counter and wipes his forehead.
“I’m not sure how you’re walking around in a coat. It’s fucking hot out today.” Carmy says looking at you, wiping his forehead.
“Oh. Well trust me I’m warm. I have an interview soon and the uniform I have to wear isn’t the best.” You say a bit embarrassed.
Carmy smirks. “You’re wearing a coat in this weather because you don’t like your uniform. It can’t be that bad. Show me.”
Not sure how you ended up in this situation, you unbutton the coat. “I need a job so don’t laugh.” You take the coat off and place it on the counter. Standing in front of Carmy in your uniform you feel too exposed. You look up at Carmy because he hadn’t said anything yet. He’s just staring at you. You start to ramble. “I found an ad today about this restaurant that was hiring so I went there after breakfast. The lady there said that they were doing open interviews today. She said that it was encouraged to wear the uniform to the interview.”
“No.” It was the only word that left his mouth.
“I’m sorry?”
“You are not wearing that.” He rubs his hand down his face.
“It’s not that bad.” You turn around in a circle. “Plus, I do need this job.”
“We’ll find you another job. I’ll find the money to hire you.”
“You don’t even know me. Why are concerned with where I work?”
“Just go change.” He’s pinching his nose. “Please.”
“Carmy. I appreciate that you brought my groceries here and are concerned where I work, but you did fire me yesterday. So I don’t think that I should be passing up a job opportunity based on you not liking a uniform.” You say as you put the coat back on, feeling exposed and embarrassed by his reaction.
“Y/n. Nat told me you were a teacher. You really thinks it’s the best move for you to be dressed like that when a parent shows up to that restaurant?”
“I-I.” You sigh, knowing that he’s right, but you’re getting a bit desperate at the moment. “Good point. I just need something. Preferably one that doesn’t require this much skin.” You look down at your uniform as you open up the coat.
Carmy coughs and his cheeks turn a shade of pink. “I’ll move things around and make it work at the restaurant. Nat said you were good with the paperwork.”
“You promise not to fire me within the first hour?” You smile up at him.
“I promise. Now go burn that uniform.”
You start to walk toward the bedroom to go change into something else. “I have to bring it back to the restaurant or I get charged for it.”
“Jesus. I will pay for it so you don’t have to go back there.”
Looking over your shoulder at Carmy you smile. “Hey Carmy.”
“Yeah?” He looks back at you.
“Thank you. For the job, for everything.”
He nods and points to the bedroom. “Go change.”
——————
Possibly another part?
—————
Taglist: @anelissegets @onlyreadz @iletmytittietitty-russ
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astermath · 10 months
Text
nemesis; part two.
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pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.
♡ landing page ♡
word count: 4.9K
tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!
notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))
lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
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Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.
With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.
So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?
Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.
It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.
Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.
To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.
“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”
“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.
“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”
Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?
Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.
“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.
“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.
“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.
“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.
“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.
If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?
“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.
“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”
His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?
“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”
“Yeah?”
“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.
He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.
“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.
“Goodnight, chef.”
“Night.”
He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.
He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.
It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.
He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.
He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.
He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.
Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.
Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.
Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.
Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?
[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.
[carmen]: well
[carmen]: I want to apologise
[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this
[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person
[carmen]: if you’d let me
[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk
[carmen]: please
The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.
But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.
That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.
You wondered what that meant.
Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.
Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.
It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.
He had no choice but to look now.
Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?
You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.
“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.
“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.
It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.
“Do you want a coffee?”
“Sorry I was late.”
You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.
“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”
“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”
“Hm?”
“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.
You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.
You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.
Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.
Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.
“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.
“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.
“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.
“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”
“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”
“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.
“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.
“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.
"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.
"You don't do this often, do you?"
"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"
"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.
"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“
“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.
“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”
“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”
“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?
“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”
“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.
"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."
His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.
"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.
"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"
"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.
"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.
"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.
"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."
Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.
You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.
“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.
“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”
Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”
“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”
“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.
“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”
“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.
“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.
“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”
You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.
“I’m sorry?”
He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.
“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.
“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”
You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.
“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.
“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.
“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”
“…Is that you saying yes?”
“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.
“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.
“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.
Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.
“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”
You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.
He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.
“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.
“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.
“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”
“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.
“That you’re selling them the business.”
“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?
“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”
“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.
“Yeah. Me too.”
“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.
“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”
You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”
He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.
He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.
Never with him.
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tag list <3
@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina
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chefkids · 7 months
Text
Spoon Theory
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This is arguably the single most important The Bear meta post I will ever make so please bear with me.
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The first spoon we see in the entire series is when Carmy takes Sydney's spoon to try her stew. This is right after he cut his hand from not being able to find his sharp knife, and before he has to meet with Natalie to get Mikey's jacket, which was stressing him out. She "gave him a spoon" and a bit of positivity when he needed to calm down and get some energy by knowing at the very least Sydney can cook well.
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Needing a spoon is needing help. When he hands over the brigade to Sydney he is waving around spoons the entire episode, when she really needed his help and his "spoons". Later on Sydney is not afraid to just ask him for his help.
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With the risotto she gave him a "spoon" that would help the restaurant, that brought in a good review and customers, but he didn't have enough of his own "spoons" to deal with it as he was stressing out over the window that just got shot through and the IRS needing the missing tax returns. Right before trying the risotto Carmy had told Richie he is afraid of something good happening. He is afraid of Sydney and him doing well, because the better it gets the more it will hurt him when something goes wrong. That is why he keeps self sabotaging the restaurant and doubting Sydney.
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After Sydney quit, she is still using her spoons for mental energy to make sure Marcus is okay and to try and figure out her next steps career wise. Carmy grabbed a spoon to open the tomato can lid, which he really didn't need because he could've just used the can opener, and then found the money. When he finds the money they both know they would be fine on their own, she could find another job, he could fix up The Beef. But they still need each others emotional spoons to achieve their passions, so he reaches out and she comes back.
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In Season 2 she did need his "spoons" to help create the menu and decide on the details for the restaurant, but he barely gave her any because he was still so caught up in his past trauma and the literal and metaphorical forks in his life.
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Fixing the table really didn't physically need more than one "spoon"/person. But he needed her there to work through his mental block. With the inspiration food tour, she did it on her own and she didn't physically need him for it, she needed his emotional spoons.
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When they are not communicating well with each other and Carmy is trying to reach back and be involved again, he gets as close as he can to her spoon without actually using it.
And now the dark side of spoons.
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The originator of spoon theory has lupus and first came up with this theory at a restaurant to explain what it was like living with the condition to a friend. They could've easily said Sydney's mom died of cancer or an accident or anything else. But this is all so intentional, out of all the things it is Lupus. I don't want Sydney to be sick as much as the next person, but Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that has higher likelihood of developing when you have a family member with it, and can be triggered by environmental factors such as stress. It is an invisible illness and Christine's own handle is butyoudontlooksick, which could really explain Sydney and what she has going on behind her walls that people can't see. She has been a rock to so many people and over exerting herself, but there might come a time soon when Sydney will genuinely need other peoples "spoons", especially Carmy's, because she's all out.
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Now that Carmy said he is choosing to give Syd his focus aka his "spoons", will he actually be able to follow through?
Read The Fork Theory next
Read The Knife Theory
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aestheticaltcow · 3 months
Note
i saw you’re open to requests right now, and i love how you write carmy!! i was wondering if you could do anything about him teaching r how to cook? helping them with a recipe? i love ur work!!🫶
Stop you're gonna make me blush 😭
But, yes, I take requests. I took some creative liberties with this one, but I like how it turned out.
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Soft jazz filled Carmy’s cozy apartment as the two of you stood in the kitchen. Carmy was next to you, trying to make sense of your Dad’s sloppy cursive writing. “I - this man… what the fuck does he mean by light brown chicken?” he mumbled, getting more confused by the second. “And to think the three Michelin star chef can’t figure out what this is BUT had the gull to taunt his non-three Michelin star chef partner for being confused.” Carmy rolled his eyes at your rebuttal and playfully nudged you, “Shut up baby.”  you laughed and handed him the card. “They never taught us about ‘Daddy soup’ in culinary school.” you shrugged and took another sip of broth, gagging at the taste. “I don’t know how I fucked up that soup so bad.” Carmy laughed. “Describe it to me- I will figure it out.”
With the recent passing of your father, you’d found yourself desperate to find a way to connect to him, hence the need for ‘Daddy soup’ growing up; whenever it was cold out or whenever you or your siblings were upset, he’d make ‘Daddy soup’ it was the cure to everything. You attempted to explain it to Carmy, “It was chicken? Maybe turkey? There was carrot… celery? I don’t know- it just tasted like love.”
Carmy spent weeks cross-referencing cookbooks and online recipes. He made stock after stock after stock. He called both of your sisters to get a new perspective on what he should do. After weeks of eating only soup for lunch and dinner, Carmy thought he’d figured it out. “Hey, you doin’ anythin’ tonight?” Carmy asked when you answered the phone, “What you cookin’ me?” “Don’t make me say it…” Carmy awkwardly chuckled, “I’ll come over at 7.” 
“Okay, can you chop these for me while I shred this duck,” Carmy explained, handing you one of his knives. “Be careful, Syd, and I sharpened our knives last night.” you shot him a confused look, “The fattiness of the duck was what my first and fourth attempts were missing- it’ll be good, I promise.” You shot Carmy a quizzical look but started chopping onions and carrots as he’d instructed. He helped you cook the garlic, making sure it didn’t burn this time around. 
“Okay. Try it.” Carmy said, biting the inside of his cheek. As you brought a spoon up to your lips, he swallowed nervously. He stared at you intensely as you tasted the soup. You licked your lips and took another spoonful from the pot. You stood there momentarily and thought, “Well, it’s not Daddy soup but Carmy soup.” Carmy frowned at your criteria, “I thought I had it-” “Carmy, I don’t think anyone can recreate my Dad’s soup, but this is delicious and tastes like love. Thank you.”
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mrscarmenbearzatto · 3 months
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So glad you're back!! Would you ever consider writing for Carmy x Richie's younger sister again?? I had an idea (if you want to write it, please dont overwhelm yourself) where reader and Carmen are fighting while reader is pregnant with their first baby and Carmen says something kinda mean to her and then she goes into laboro unexpectedly?! And seeing how Richie would react to that and be so defensive of his little sister 🥹
hi love! hope this is okay :) | fem!reader, mentions of a hospital, nicu stay/labor
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You know he didn't mean it. Calling you stupid for showing up to the Bear that day when there was tools laying about, too many unknown people being around. He was just a worried soon-to-be dad, but that didn't make it easier.
Carmen was always protective over you, and now that you two had a baby on the way, it heightened. He was already on edge with the amount of repairs being done that day in the Bear, and the hazardous scene the restaraunt was in. He was just stressed out and took it out on you, like an idiot.
You didn't stick around to hear his apology after the words slipped out of his mouth. "Why are you being so difficult about this!? Showing up here was fucking stupid of you!" Nat took you outside to get you both away from each other, give you both some space to breathe. You could hear Carmen leave the restaraunt, disappearing to who knows where.
You sigh as you lean against the fence outside, gripping it with one hand. "He didn't mean it, it's just- there's been a lot happening today. Like a lot. Our fridge guy couldn't come and then a health inspection." Nat tried to explain. You were barely listening as your eyes squeezed shut. The pain in your abdomen and back you'd been briefly experiencing for the past few minutes had subsided as you let out an exhale. Syd stepped out at the same time.
"Hey, woah, you alright?" She asks. "Yeah, yeah sorry. Just Braxton Hicks. They just haven't been this intense." You answer. Syd stares at you both before clearing her throat. "I think your water just broke." She says.
You stare at her for a second, almost laughing. "Funny, Syd, but this isn't the time-" You look down and realize she's right. Your water just broke. "No, no, no it's too soon. We don't.. Carmen has to be here. You say, your voice filled with panic.
"Honey, I don't think you have a choice. Let's go to the hospital, okay? Syd, call Richie and Carmen, tell them to meet us at Chicago West." Nat takes your hand, helping you walk around the corner to her car, where she proceeds to break more then a few traffic laws.
"Who the fuck are you to talk to my sister like that?" Richie demands. The two were going back and forth after Carmen got back to the restaraunt. "Richie, I'm not fucking doing this with you right now." Carmen argues.
Syd walks in, exhaling. "Do either of you check your phones?!" She asks. "I don't know, he's a dumbass." Richie comments as Carmen rolls his eyes.
"Mine's.." Carmen frantically searches his pockets. "It must be in my office. What's the matter?" He asks. Syd frowns. "Y/n went into labor outside, Nat took her to Chicago West. I've been trying to call you to get you there before you miss the birth."
Carmen's already out the door by the time she finishes talking.
────
"If Carmen misses this, I'm going to kill him." Nat comments as she puts a pillow under your back for support. You sigh, laying back. The room is mostly quiet, except for the beeping of equipment. Monitoring your heartrate, your baby's heartrate, your contractions. It feels surreal to watch them increase and decrease with spikes on the monitor.
"He won't miss this. He'll be here." You say, your voice laced with doubt. You knew if Sydney had gotten ahold of Carmen, he'd be speeding to the hospital. Your doctor had been trying to push back your labor as much as she can, but you knew you were about to start pushing soon.
"I really hope you're right. I'm gonna go get you more ice chips." She says, stepping out of the room. You stare at the heartbeat monitors before you hear a small knock on the door. You turn to find Carmen in the doorway. "Hi." He says softly.
You smile. "Hey. Nice of you to drop by." You say, waiting for him to come over to you. When he doesn't immediately, you hold your hand out for him. He practically runs, taking it. "I'm so sorry. For not being here and for what I said. I shouldn't have- you didn't deserve that."
You shake your head. "Carm, you're here now. I'm glad you are. I love your sister but she is not a good birthing coach." She comments as he laughs.
He presses a kiss to your head. "I'm here now." He says. You squeeze his hand lightly. "I know you are, Carmy." Nat smiles as she returns. "Good, you get to live. Here are your ice chips. Best of luck." She wishes, placing a kiss on your cheek.
You smile. "Thanks for being so helpful, Nat."
────
Within the next half hour, your baby boy was in the world. Laying on your chest, his tiny hand wrapped around Carmen's finger. "He's so perfect." Carmen whispers, his voice filled with such fondness.
You two decided on a name: Theodore "Teddy" Berzatto. He was perfect to you two. Your own little boy, your son.
Richie and the rest of the staff came by the hospital. You swooned over your big brother getting to hold your little boy. "He looks just like dad." Richie admits quietly. You nod. "He does. Looks like dad and Mikey." Carmen agrees.
Your son couldn't have been surrounded with more love.
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Text
silver springs - carmy berzatto x fem!reader
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a/n: this is a part 2 for casual (read before continuing this for context). the live performance of this song changed my life tbh. as a little gift, a third and final part is in the works so stay tuneddd 👀
warnings: angst, slow burn, cameos from syd and richie (we love them in this household), mentions of claire (again, my apologies, ms. girl)
summary: after you found out that carmy had a girlfriend, claire. tension between you two grew intense as you rarely talked to him unless it involved work while he tried everything possible in order to talk you about what happened. it wasn’t until a former classmate of yours came in and asked you out while working, making him come to a sudden realization.
disclaimer: i do not own characters mentioned in this story. this is for fictional purposes only. do not copy or claim my work as your own. comments, reblogs and constructive feedback are appreciated!!
here are resources for supporting palestine and gaza 🇵🇸
masterlist
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you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you
ever since you found out that carmy was dating claire, the past three months felt as if it had been a year. the tension in the restaurant was so thick that you can slice through it with a knife. while carmy was trying everything to get you to speak to him, you did your best to avoid him except if it involved work. as much as you thought about putting in your two weeks, you simply couldn’t afford to.
you look into the mirror in your locker as you inspect your hair, being pinned back by a red claw clip. the hair accessory coordinated with the outfit you decided to wear today, which consists of a cropped red cardigan, black dress and doc martens. you reach for the makeup bag you keep so you can freshen up before your shift, unzipping it and pulling out a tube of clear mascara.
you twist the wand out of the tube and apply a layer of mascara on your upper eyelashes when syd walks in the locker room, just arriving for her shift. you both smiled at each other as you thanked god that it wasn’t carmy who walked through the door. she walked up to her locker next to yours, “hey, how did your night go?”
you shrugged as you applied a layer to your lower lashes, “not too bad, just watched a couple of episodes of sex and the city, took an edible then went to bed.” she laughed, “you seriously like that show?” she set her belongings in the locker as she left out her apron and head scarf, placing them both on the bench next to where you both stood.
you joked, “whenever anything goes wrong in my life, i do ask myself about what would carrie bradshaw do?” she rolled her eyes playfully as she laughed. she styled her hair with the scarf as you moved to putting on a soft pink lip liner over the outline of your lips. as syd put on her apron, she asked, “hey, can you tie the back for me?”
you nodded, setting your lip liner down and helping her tie the back strings of the apron in a comfortable, secure knot. as soon as you finished, carmy walked into the room, him and syd greeted each other while you and him made awkward eye contact but not saying anything to each other. syd sensed the unease in the room, deciding to go in the kitchen and see what they needed help with preparing for the day ahead.
this left you and carmy alone for the first time in a while. you felt his eyes on you as you continued putting on a light pink lipstick. he took off his jacket and placed in his locker as he finally decided to make another attempt at breaking the ice. “i think we need to talk.” you avoided him as if he was a ghost trying to make contact with a human.
he let out a sigh, growing more frustrated at the silent treatment you were giving him. he thought things between you both was supposed to be casual, no strings attached. while he understood why you were hurt, he also felt that he didn’t do anything wrong by not telling you about claire. he asked, “are you seriously going to ignore me?”
you pushed your bag back into the locker, slamming the door. the impact of the metal door made carmy startled, not being used to seeing you this angry. you snapped, “there is absolutely nothing we need to discuss.” as you try to walk out of the room, he gently grabs your wrist, turning you around to face him. “please, just talk to me.”
you groaned, “i don’t want to fucking talk to you, carm. just leave me alone.” you pulled out of his grasp and walked out of the room as he watched you leave. he felt this physical pain in his chest, sitting down on the bench as he ran his hand through his hair. he couldn’t help but wonder what went wrong and how could he make things right with you.
a couple of hours into your shift, the lunch rush was starting up as the restaurant was filled with people and you were on your feet, doing your best to keep with your section. you bring a drink to one of your tables, being one man who looked like they were in their early twenties. you placed his drink on the table and asked, “is there anything else you need?”
he shook his head and spoke, “no, i’m good. do you mind if i ask you a question though?” you politely nodded, “yeah, sure!” he continued, “this may sound a little weird but weren’t you in ms. klein’s homeroom?” you then remembered your freshman year homeroom teacher who had a whole wardrobe consisting of cat sweaters.
you nod, a bit confused at specificity of the question, “yeah i did actually..” you internally cringed at the person you were back then, wearing band merch and constantly straightening your hair to the point it was fried. he then explained, “i don’t know if you remember me but i’m dominic. i used to sit behind you.”
you suddenly remembered him, realizing you had a short lived crush on him until he moved schools after the first semester. you gasped, “oh my god, i thought you looked familiar! how’ve you been?” he had gotten a lot better looking than the last time you saw him, looking more taller and lean. his blonde hair was styled in a slightly disheveled wavy mullet and wore a white long sleeved shirt with blue jeans.
he grinned at you, his arctic blue eyes looking into your honey brown ones. “i’ve been good. i’m in town for a couple of days so i decided to explore what’s new here. enough about me though, how are you?” you smiled, feeling heat flush against your cheeks. “i’m doing good, life hasn’t been too bad.”
as you caught up with dominic, you began to realize why you had a crush on him in the first place. he was charming, make you blush as if you were a fifteen year old girl again. he admitted, “to be honest, i did like you but i never got the chance to tell you before i moved.” you laughed in disbelief, thinking it was a lie.
you shook your head, “that’s bullshit.” he insisted, “oh, it’s not bullshit. i regret not asking you out a lot sooner.”
carmy was on his smoke break outside the restaurant, he kept his eye on how you and dominic were interacting with each other. he felt himself growing more irritated at the sight of him making you laugh and smile. he broke up with claire a few weeks ago while he was locked inside the walk-in. he had feelings for her when he was in high school so of course, he thought it was something he wanted still but whenever he was with her, visions of you would cloud his mind.
you shrugged, “i mean.. i think you still have a chance.” dominic smirked, “oh really?” you nodded, “i definitely think so.” he replied, “well, we can go grab drinks after you get off work.. if you’re down.” you blinked, not knowing what to say. he was the first guy who asked you out since your situationship with carmy.
you made your choice on a whim, smiling at him. “i’m down.” he smiled back at you, “cool, can i get your number so i can text you where to meet at?”
he never viewed himself valuable to be loved by anyone, not by claire and especially not by you. his stomach churned and nausea set in when he looked over again, seeing you texting something onto dominic’s phone. he couldn’t bare to see the sight anymore, flicking the remains of his cigarette onto the ground.
he decided to walk around and enter through back of the restaurant, not wanting to see you. as he walked up to the back entrance, he sees richie, taking his own smoking break. “how’s your day going, cousin?” he shrugged, “i don’t know.. kinda shitty.” richie looked at him with concern but knew him well enough to know why he was upset.
he asked knowingly, “you’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” he sighed, “i broke up with claire weeks ago, man.” richie scoffed then responded, “i’m not talking about her, dipshit.” he swallowed the lump in his throat as he knew his cousin was right. “some dude came in and he asked for her number..”
richie’s eyes widened slightly, “oh shit, did she give it to him?” he reluctantly nodded. richie winced, “damn, dude. what are you going to do about it?” he laughed sarcastically, “what do you want me to do? it’s not like she wants to talk to me.” richie sighed, “look, you really like her right?”
carmy nodded, “i think like is an understatement for how i feel about her.” his eyes widened as he never thought he would genuinely be in love with someone but was glad that the person he loves was you. he asked, “what if i’m too late to tell her? i don’t know what i’d do if i was..”
richie shook his head, “i don’t think you’re too late, cousin. if she was getting married or some shit, that’s different. you still have a chance… go make things right with her.” he questioned, “but what if she still doesn’t want to talk to me?” richie shrugged, “then at least you tried. that’s better than putting in no effort at all.”
carmy nodded, taking in everything that his cousin had said. he knew that he had to talk to you and attempt to make things right again. he took in a deep inhale then let the air exhale through his mouth. he looked over at his cousin and said, “thank you.” richie nodded, “no problem.. now, go get your girl back.”
as you got ready to go out with dominic, butterflies fluttered around in your stomach while you looked through your closet to find the perfect outfit. you threw your clothes around as you looked in the mirror, holding them in front of you seeing what looked good or not. you tossed them to the side as you didn’t like how you looked.
your hair was wrapped in a towel while you wore an oversized shirt with shorts underneath to lounge around in before actually getting dressed and ready for the night. you were interrupted when you heard an urgent knock on your front door. you checked your phone and see no texts from dominic that indicated that he was here when another knock on the door rang through the house.
you walked out of your room through the small living room area to the front door and reluctantly opened it. to your surprise, carmy was standing there. you rolled your eyes and sighed, “what do you want?” he looked and stared at you in awe, seeing you in the t-shirt he gave you.
he then blurted out, “i don’t want you to go with him.”
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vvenus-child · 6 months
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❀ an: hi! this is my first fic published on tumblr! fluffly all the way. My AO3 where you can leave kudos. I write from multi fandoms such as ACOTAR, Dramione and Original works ❀ Tags: Carmen Berzatto; Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader
She had ladybugs earrings. It wasn't the first thing Carmen noticed about her, no. But it was something he came to associate with her.
At a random Thursday, Sugar and Syd had ripped him a new one about not updating the restaurant's Instagram from all things. So when he had a moment of quiet where he couldn't sleep because his head was so full, he thought it would be a nice idea to use social media for work. He opened the app, unfamiliar with all the options and the immense number of notifications. The latest one was a tagged picture from a dish they had served for some customer. She had tagged the account with a simple caption "best meal I had in this city. My compliments to the chef - however they are!" with a string of emojis he sure did not even fathom to understand.
So Carmen did what he thought was the greatest management of social media ever: he commented "tks :)" under it.
A few hours later a still insomniac Carmen heard a ping from his cellphone. A direct message from Instagram made him frown and scowl a bit. It said "hi!!!! I love your place! do you guys work with delivery or take out?". Minutes passed and he did not answer. He was tired and confused to why someone would be asking this at 03am via a social media profile.
Another ping rang.
"Sorry, it's just I work late nights and your place is my fav in the city. I'm new here, don't know many places yet. Thank you xx"
He fumbled a bit in his bed before answering. A touch of nostalgia for Mike's old way of dealing with The Beef tried to take a hold of his heart. He made sure to snuff it out before typing it quickly.
"No we don't work like that anymore"
And he swore in a low voice.
"Look for Richie tmw say Carmen told u so"
The next day Carmen wanted nothing more than to hide in the fridge and die freezing. The night was so exhausting, someone had burned their food, plates were dropped, Syd had a bad case of allergies, Tina was in a fucking bad mood. The texts were the last thing on his mind when Richie came screaming from the front.
"Yo, cous, some chick looking for you. Said you were the social media manager. Didn't know we were using instagram to hook up now", he laughed and slapped Carm in the back.
"Fuck off, Richie"
Carm walked to see a round face looking back at him. She had dark, long curls around her face. Although her skin was darker than his, he still could manage to see the dark circles under her eyes. She had an apologetic smile and a few Tupperware containers that were not that hidden on her tote bag.
"Sorry! Hey! We spoke on Instagram last night? You said I could look for you? Sorry I'm late, had to extend my shift a bit and some more" she babbled for a few seconds, hands flying off while she talked. He could see the dark pink stain on her cheeks. "It's okay if you guys are closed! I didn't even look at the time when I got out of home,I’m so sorry."
Carm wanted to laugh at how much this girl apologized - he didn't of course, because then he would be the one blushing. She managed to look even more embarrassed than he was in social situations. He decided to take her out of her misery and told her that it was okay. He was the chef and no, it was okay, truly. It was not a problem to help her with a take out. Yes, he understood late nights very well.
Carmen didn't actually know what made him make this one exception to this customer. They still didn't do take outs, but something like kinship rouse in him when she said that it was her favorite place and she worked crazy hours. Maybe he felt he could build a place with as much heart and tradition as Mike, on his own way. So everyday she would come by, sometimes a bit after they had closed, sometimes on the rush hours - then she would wait on one of the tables or eat there. Richie started to yell at the back "Cous, your girl is here" one day, much to Carm dismay.
"She is not my girl, fucker"
"Then why does she ask for you everyday, huh?" he would say with his comically raised eyebrows, "can I ask for her number then?"
For some reason Carmen wanted to punch him in the throat. It did need a lot of reason most days.
"No, you can't. She is a customer and you don't ask customers for their numbers".
Richie left him with a knowing smile.
They never chatted much about deep subjects, if it was a slow day here, if she was dying of a heartburn because of work related stress there. She was also not an adventurous eater. The same order most days. Carm noticed that day she would wear the same ladybug earrings everyday too. They also shared cigarettes breaks on the regular. I'm a reluctant chainsmoker since 16, she told him once with a shy smile. Only watermelon one's thought, Marlboro's light too.
He had laughed at her for that. Flavored shit, really? What's next? Smoking the stupid pens?
Then they bonded over their disgust over electronic cigarettes that day.
Once he caught her helping out customers choose their meal when the staff was too busy with a problem. One day when she bought a group of friends someone had to call Carm from the kitchen. He was smelling of grease, hair dirty and his apron had stains of food in it. He didn't know it was her, it was lunchtime and one of the cooks had not shown up. His cheeks grew hot when he saw her, lips red and eyes lined with dark colors, a brown coat over the chair. She didn't have her earrings this time. A golden chain with a cross dangled from her neck to her cleavage. He was caught staring by one of her friends, who asked "so you are the chef friend?". Her make up did little to hide her blushing.
The time she did not pick up her dinner, Carm got anxious. He asked Richie for her number, because of course he had it. He debated if he should text.
"u ok?", he did. 
When he didn't receive an answer, he showed up at her door with dinner in his hands. It was only a few blocks away, right? He got her address from the receipt, it wasn't creepy, right?
"You didn't show up, I brought you dinner", he said breathlessly.
It was definitely creepy, Richie laughed when he told him.
After that he would sometimes bring her dinner. She would bake him something, make him taste it - and everyone else too, no, he truly wasn't special, Carm tried to tell himself.
One day she asked him if he wanted to come in. He didn't, at least not a first. No, he had to get back to the restaurant, really. No, it wasn't because of her. Sorry, no- yeah- I- Uh, I-I got to go.
They would text each other. He was terrible at it, as always, but he initiated after feeling bad for not tasting the cake she had made him.
The first time Carm kissed her it had been over a year from the instagram message. They were in the kitchen, scrubbing the floor and she was cleaning some dishes. He had said something under his breath that made her laugh so loud the sound had echoed the whole room. He felt his heart squeeze inside his chest like a vise. Mike's words played over and over in his head "let it rip".
Carmen had not planned to kiss her that night. When she asked him to help close, so Tina could leave early, he accepted. Having her around wasn't a bother. When cleaning a particularly sharp knife she had cut her finger. His first instinct was to help and not curse her for the carelessness. Still, he didn't kiss her at that moment.
When they had finished, almost out the door, he pulled her by the neck pushing her back against the counter.
Her mouth felt like water after a long trip to the desert.
She was using her ladybug earrings. 
She tasted like vanilla and chocolate. 
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ilyasorokinn · 6 months
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omgggg happy 3rd anniversary to you!!!! here's to many more to come 🥂 for this celebration can i please request, from the general fluffy dialogue prompt list number 8 + 9 with mat barzal pls? thank you!
WINNIE MARTIN’S FAVORITE PERSON
this is the first of my tumblr-versary blurbs, so if that annoys you, block the tag 'taylor's tumblr-versary' love ya <3
8. "who let you be this cute today?" 9. "can we wait a second? i wanna take a picture of you right now." (from this prompt list)
you tried to go to as many games as you could, but you had a job so making it to every game was impossible. but, when you could make it to games, mat made sure to plan ahead and make sure you were gonna have a good time.
"you have a ride, right?" mat asked from the bathroom where he was still getting read.
"yes, i have a ride." you sighed. a moment of silence enveloped you and you knew something was wrong, "you okay? you need help with anything?" you asked.
"...yes." he hesitated.
"you can't tie your tie, can you?" you smiled.
"no." you could see the pout on his face as you made your way into the bathroom.
"ooh." you teased, "mathew barzal, who let you be this cute today?" you teased, enjoying the shy smile on his face.
"stop please. just help." he handed you the tie he wanted to wear, but you shook your head, "what?"
"mat, i love you, but your sense of style is awful." you winced, recalling every bad fashion choice you had seen him make. you set the tie on the counter and grabbed a different one, one that better matched the suit he was wearing, and began tying it.
"i should.be offended." the smile on his face told you he wasn't.
"i'm saving you from ending up on people's worst dressed." you shrugged.
he rolled his eyes, "so, before i go, can i see what you're gonna wear tonight?" it was no secret that you loved dressing up for games. it was fun and you liked doing it. you usually had little pieces with his name, number, or team colors. something to show your support, and mat loved it.
"nope." you shook your head.
"what? why not?"
"that ruins the surprise," you told him.
"you're gonna make me wait till after the game to see." he pouted.
"i don't know. maybe i'll be there at warmups." you shrugged, smiling when he perked up, "i think syd's bringing win, so maybe i'll go down with them." she was your ride, so going down to the ice for warmups made sense.
"okay, well, i guess i might see you during warmups." he kissed your forehead.
"maybe." you shrugged, wrapping your arms around his waist, "try not to fall, okay?" he rolled his eyes.
"i don't do it on purpose." he insisted.
you smiled, "score goals." you told him, leaning up and giving him a quick peck.
"for you, always." he hummed.
after he left, you got ready as quickly as you could and before you knew it, sydney martin was pulling up outside your building, "y/n yl/n, you always put the rest of us to shame."
"oh, stop it." you smiled bashfully.
"i'm serious. how you do it astounds me." she ran her finger over the sleeve of your jacket, "doesn't y/n look pretty, win?" you looked to the backseat where winnie was sitting, clutching a stuffed animal.
"pretty." she smiled.
"thank you, miss win." you winked before getting into the passenger side.
true to your word, you followed sydney down to the ice for warmups and helped keep winnie entertained. you could tell sydney was a little tired, so you did your best to keep her attention.
when the boys came out, you couldn't help but smile when mat tossed a couple of pucks over the ice to a few kids. winnie's eyes were glued to the ice as she watched all the guys skate around.
matt skated over, making his daughter laugh, blowing her kisses and even tossing her a puck, which she clutched to her chest along with her stuffed animal.
when your mat finally skated over, sydney took her daughter back so you and mat could have a moment. he smiled, taking notice of your jacket. he spun his finger, and you gave him a little twirl so he could see your jacket.
he gave a thumbs up and a nod, which made you laugh. he tossed a puck over and nodded to a kid behind you, whose eyes were glued. on mat, watching him mesmerized.
you nodded and waved. as he skated backward, he waved and winked. you rolled your eyes before looking at the puck. you smiled when you noticed that mat had signed it.
you turned around to the kid, who looked at you, probably after having seen mat point at him. you laughed before you handed it to him, "this is from barzy." you told him, "have fun tonight."
you turned back to sydney, who had her phone out and was probably recording and taking pictures of the whole thing, "you guys are so cute." she hugged you, "now come on, let's get some drinks." you smiled when winnie raised her arms in your direction, a signal that she wanted to be picked up.
after the game, and an ot goal scored by mat, you waited with sydney and the other girls in the tunnel. you were sitting with sydney, and the entire game, winnie was in your lap. somehow she had gravitated from her seat into your lap, but you didn't mind.
"look, win, there's your dad." you pointed when you saw matt walk out. she gave him a wave, but yawned and laid her head on your shoulder, "i'm tired, too." you patted her back, making the martin's smile.
you waved when you saw mat walk out. he made his way over to you and hugged you, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "i'm proud of you. overtime goal!" you cheered quietly, not wanting to disturb winnie too much.
"i know. all for you." he smiled into your hair before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, "you ready to go?" you hummed.
"wait, wait, before you guys go." sydney stopped you, pulling out hr phone, "can we wait a second? i wanna take a picture of you right now." she begged.
"fine." mat rolled his eyes playfully, but posed for the picture nonetheless. after the picture was taken, you were going to hand winnie off to her parents, but she clung to you.
"come on, we gotta go home, winnie." sydney sighed, flashing. youan apologetic smile.
"how about this? i'll carry you in the car, but after that, i gotta go." you offered, and she nodded, "all right, let's go." you switched arms and started heading int he direction of sydney's car.
mat walked by your side, holding your hand and talking to you about whatever. unbeknownst to you, sydney, who was trailing behind you and mat, was snapping pictures.
you set winnie in her car seat and waved, "bye, winnie girl." you blew her a kiss and she blew you one back, which you accepted and held close to your chest, which made her laugh.
you walked back to mat's car, "that felt very domestic." he told you.
"keep dreaming, barzal. let's stick to babysitting."
"i know, i know." he raised his hands in surrender.
as you got waited for mat to get into bed later that night, you saw sydney's tag and checked out the instagram story. it was a photo she had taken, without your knowledge, of you and mat walking towards the parking garage, hand-in-hand, winnie in your arms, her head on your shoulder with the caption 'her favorite person ever ❤️ @/yourusername'
mat hopped into bed next to you and saw the post, "you're right. we do look domestic." you smiled.
"let's stick to babysitting." he joked.
taylor's tumblr-versary!
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