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lacunasbalustrade · 1 year

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Gao Mikado: never expecting any of the beauty that takes you by force, morning waves lapping against the shore of an Irish beach, the aroma of eggs sizzling with butter in a pan, touching someone's soft, cold hand and feeling the warmth transfer between you two like an iv line, sinking into a fluffy bed radiating warmth after a long day, putting your achy head on the table in class. you're so so tired all the time but you know somewhere in your heart that you'll never get these days back. you're making the best of them however you can, "i know you always do your best."

Noboru Kodo: sugar caramelising brown in an oven, waiting for someone until you get the sinking realisation that they stood you up, lazy rainy afternoons under a grey sky, sitting cross-legged with one knee up and being scolded by your mom for looking like a gangster, breathing the taste of minty fir sap in a cooling forest, in a dark room with someone's back to yours confessing every mistake both of you ever made, with embarrassed laughs. backing out of a convenience store queue because there are too many people, "if i could have been born with your courage life could've been so much easier."

Zanya Kisaragi: always on your toes for something that you can't quite understand why you expect, the same familiar street at twilight when everyone returns to their houses and turns on the lamps, the texture of green tea against your dry tongue, dipping your fingers into the swimming pool to check the temperature and feeling the warmth flee from your blood, waking up tangled in your bedspread, clicking noise from stapling paper together briskly. you have something to do later and you're looking forward to it, "you're an inspiration, okay?"

Jin Magatsu: waking up with an unstoppable headache. bumping into pointy cabinets and having to reach too far to grab your throbbing foot with two hands. the flavour of cotton candy melting on your face around your mouth. someone wipes it off for you with the back of their cardigan covered hand. blackberry-infused tea (coffee is for lowlifes), the best time you swear by is naptime on another tiring Monday after work, never quite judging but always perceptive of how those around you feel towards anything, good natured sarcasm, "tell me how I got this lucky again?"

Tetsuya Kurodake: the buzzing sound you get in your head when you've listened to your headphones on max volume for far too long, little packets of vitamin enhanced milk and the crinkly sound wrapping makes when you tear it off, bright cel shading on a hand-drawn animation sheet, forgetting to pick your clothes off the floor in the morning after you left them there last night, vacuuming dust from underneath your bed and nearly choking from the bunnies, maybe a little bit afraid of being inferior at the things you love, "promise me we'll still have tomorrow."

Raremaro Tafudonokimi: traditional kimono. perfectly arranged bouquets, tissue flowers, expensive art that was made by some amateur on eBay. watching run-of-the-mill animation and trying to think of deeper meaning behind it. playing an instrument so badly birds drop from the trees. a gentle late afternoon, even so you complain about how hot it is. small yapping dogs, feeding breadcrumbs to the pigeons, not really sure if anyone looks up to you despite how hard you try, always bluffing your way out of real challenges, "you know, you're not such a bad presence after all."

Kanata Ozora: switching on the stove. it's too hot to stay in your blanket fort although all your air conditioners are on, so you crawl out on your hands and knees only for all the pillows to come crashing down. the way oatmeal slides down your throat like a raw egg. rain off fresh leaves smells so good that you have ten planters on your kitchen window ledge. mini bonsai trees. not really knowing what makes someone so beautiful but wanting to keep them anyways, forever. "why are you so afraid of yourself? you're so much more than i could ever have hoped for!"

Shosetsu Kirisame: stoic apologies. clean washing folded neatly, the warmth of clothes after they come out from the machine, misty showers with wet floors. In the daylight around nine, it's so peaceful and quiet, just the ideal time to get into some studying. open windows, no emoticons ever, the way air tastes in your lungs when you inhale really deep, how satisfying it feels to squirt toothpaste onto the bristles, looking back and wishing you could slap your self-centred egoistic teen self. "if i could do life over again, there are a lot of things I'd change. but I'd never change you."

Keisetsu: chilled pillows against your head. folding your hands behind your back and crossing your fingers. danger at every streetlight (but at least you know it's coming), that moment in the dead of night when you bolt upright panting and not knowing what woke you. you've never had any dreams, awake or sleeping, except for wanting somewhere to belong to, somewhere you can be an irreplaceable part of a world. team player at heart. pastel macarons in between your teeth, cherry sauce scent, ozone depletion under your belt, "i'm hopeless. can't even make you want me."

Shusui Kanehebi: breakdancing and rap music with terrible lyrics and too many curse words. pessimistic social media messages, gulping down fruit smoothies in one go, the taste of adrenaline in your throat when you smell the hunt on the wind. calling someone close to you eight times is a daily routine just for laughs and more often than not they block you until you apologize through a mutual. waking up sleepily and walking into your own bathroom door; your roommate screams at you to keep quiet or die by their blade. "maybe i can live with me, but you sure can't, you're too dang perfect."

Sakate Onagashira: museum dates. it's always been second nature to wait for someone else at the bus stop, but you're still single up till now. late night when you're being kicked out of yet another party - where did you take the forked road? There's no specific moment you can trace it back to, maybe you were just meant to be this way whether you wanted to or not. pepper fried rice smells hella good. peeling open durians and pineapples with your bare hands just to show you can, shivering when it gets even slightly cool out, "there's nothing i have for you, don't even try."

Kemura: never seems to be listening but always remembers everything, is the one who pets the elephant in the room whilst everyone ignores it. self-destructive kindness is a thing? actually listens to all those ads instead of skipping past them. 3 am and visiting the nearby food market for snacks before realising that it's closed, you've been playing video games too long. Plays Pokémon Go, keeps potted plants in your room but they keep wilting and you don't know what to do at all. surprisingly good at handicrafts although you might seem clumsy - "Kemura will do his very best!"

Gaito Kurouzu: trying too hard to seem unbreakable. reads latin during lunch break. never wonders why, only wonders how. throws tantrums like an excellent five year old. has a master's degree in planning documents and arranging their calendar, likes chocolate cake but not the low-sugar ones with less butter. the freshly baked pie smell only top-tier bakers can achieve, burst of peeled oranges as you bite through the skin, citrusy detergent on hands, cloudy nights as you wander around the corner for an errand, "don't you dare sneak off without telling me."

Kyoya Gaen: glass windows that you could fall through if you leant hard enough, little lies that you don't mind anymore. love that you deny everyday by acting cruel to it, as if that'll ever change anything. the sound of the door lock clicking behind you (which side are you on?), gentle somber dust against your skin like specks of glitter, scent of moth-eaten paintings, excruciatingly simple pencil sketches, neutralising the things you don't like by not giving them recognition, the childish confidence most of us lost a long while ago, dead sunsets, "maybe we could have worked out in a different universe, 'name'."

Kiri Hyoryu: scarves tucked tightly around your shaking hands. the sharp bite of cinnamon's aroma that brings a pop of colour, humid windy days when you can't see straight for the hair in your eyes but there's always, always someone who grabs your hand and takes you straight where you need to be. soft white cheese against good bread as you chew, making New Year's mochi and Lunar Month mooncakes by hand (the flour dust against your skin), meeting someone you know well after a while and realising somehow you've only become closer, petting cafes, "how did you find me?"

Rouga Aragami: unshakeable confidence; no hesitation. The darkness of the resting warmth in the night sky, jazz tunes in a dark bar, aeroplanes crossing the sky in their white trails like map lines, no drifting just swimming, chewing meat and ripping it straight from the bone, being the shoulder that someone else leans on as tears roll down their face (however silent or loud they sob, it doesn't matter to you), the sound of milk as it's poured into a glass, forehead against another forehead as you whisper-promise to them that it will work out, climbing a tree and realising that you can't get down, "i won't give up on you, no matter how many times you ask me to."

Tasuku Ryuenji: running in the rain as the wind blows droplets straight into your eyes. you're going in the wrong direction but what does that matter? unease. you constantly don't know what to do with yourself. bread rising in the oven and burning away, smoldering quietly. smell the rich coffee from the cold vending machine as you pop open another cup. falling asleep besides a stuffed animal, its fur is clumped together after a long period of usage. falling for the feeling that you've finally become more than just useful to someone, to anyone, you are loved, "i think that family is something you put in front of the world; you are my everything."

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lacunasbalustrade · 1 year

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MY BUDDYFIGHT AESTHETICS, but this time bold what applies and italicise what sometimes does! cross out what never applies

Paruko Nanana; livestreams & podcasts on a computer, a phone, an iPad, a MacBook, and a headset all at once. "only someone like you could handle all that."waking up on chilly rainy mornings at 6 am after studying till 2am, so used to telling the camera to get your good side that you forgot how some liked seeing you with silly haircurlers in. drinking bubble tea; the joys of youth. can't stretch or flex for your life, but the Easter Bunny couldn't jump higher. your idea of comfort food is french fries in ketchup someone save you from yourself, healthy living is working & playing hard in your book, bicycling in gardens, affection badly expressed, using short forms & text emojis, talkative but comforting, conscious of other people's existence,"YOU. you get me."

Kazane Fujimaya: positivity post accounts, local thrift shops and flea markets, haggling good-naturedly. that specific moment when the sun starts to rise and you've hiked up to the top of some steep hill that smells of fresh bamboo and steamed chestnut buns. it's sunrise over calm waters and there are no clouds if there are you're in the wrong place. being a regular customer, would volunteer at pet shelters but you're allergic to fur, eating egg mayonnaise sandwiches with black pepper and dropping it on your lap, you'll never get that stain out if you soak it for the rest of your life. vegetable soup is so good you swear by it, feeling alienated from everyone by some really hurtful circumstance but going home to face it regardless. "hey, are you awake yet?"

Kuguru Uki: clay scent of contented pottery wheels, oven mitts, potwarmers, the way lavender hangs in the air over the blue that has yet to descend and bring twilight with it, getting ready to leave and sitting down to pull on your shoes over your feet in their padded socks. never yelling in case you startle someone nearby who's working. getting used to warmed-up rice balls in place of actual meals. inhumanly good at playing those claw machine games, even when they're rigged. "fifty points to gryffindor", sitting and revising your notes only to realise that your handwriting is embarrassingly rushed, redoing them although it's still readable. life's a balancing act and you are a champion. compromises. "there you are, I've been waiting for you!"

Megumi Mamakari: buying instant fashion from high-end malls, inhaling the aroma of cold-brew coffee beans in a place so cold your fingers are turning pink, mini whitebread tuna and lettuce sandwiches that crunch underneath your teeth, doing ballet as a kid and never tiptoeing again because your toes are still bruised underneath your socks. crawling under the bed because you take hide-and-seek very seriously. copying people's handwriting is a strange hobby but if it's not fascinating your hair isn't lemonade pink. the most starched out days when moisture hangs so thick you could slice it with a knife, the clouds are as grey as your jumper, lightning may strike any moment, that's part of the thrill. rollercoasters & haunted houses, "laugh all you want. you can't deny it."

Suzuha Amanosuzu: perfect eyeliner. flawlessly groomed, prideful with a reason, being the benevolent queen is difficult but you'll do it with grace and strength if it costs you your beautifully manicured fingernails. "End of discussion - there's nothing more to say" bubbly apple cider bursts against your palate, let it wash down the aromatic basil-topped lamb cutlet that's laid out artisan style on your porcelain plate. korean dramas and scandalous romance novels, you know the myths better than the history professor does, that doesn't disconnect you from reality. snapping a painted fan closed, elegant victorian fashion, stars coming out in a whole parade across the galaxy at 4am (you glow brighter than all, this is light pollution my dear), "what, are my feelings a concern to you?"

Ku Teito: flashy sunsets on the subway, riding on the carousel when the circus comes to town. big hearted only means your heart falls harder, darling; the air smells lonelier at night when you're out patroling on your lonesome: you always work yourself to the bone. chocolate roll bread fresh from the oven that your teeth sink into like butter. drafting reports by using the speech function because you'd rather use your hands to play Minecraft and Nitendo Wii games instead, you actually subscribe to legitimate music services instead of pirating. good for you. the world is so big and you could fit in a pocket of my hands, you need to be protected but only wish to protect others, selflessly, brightly, purely. it's not about the ego for you. karaoke master. "you can never match up to me, but go on and try!"

Mrs Fujimaya: making jokes that aren't funny. stop using your humour to cut wounds open in yourself; those who love you do not want to watch you bleed. i know you've been staying strong all through every trial, just a little longer, keep standing, please. having a picture perfect memory: the differences in the world you move forward through is as glaring as the sun to you, you are the closest to realisation you've ever been. keep going. popcorn salted dissolves in your mouth leaving only hard kernels of truth - the scent of flower pollen is one you'll never forget as you kneel in front of his portrait (in front of him at his grave.) days when you couldn't bear to open the windows and no one kept track of time for you, it's so hard being a mother who has to shoulder her little girl's pain on top of her own. "you don't have to worry, I can push through like a freight train."

Suzumi Mikado: the clouds are so much closer than you thought at first, green crocuses, leaves falling in a crochet pattern, beckoning storms and their irises of calm, the final light of the day, twisted paper cones of salted peanuts, tricoloured pansies, black tulips "you sure don't mess around, do you?" mad rollerblading skills, probably jogged every day before school, had a million graduation photo albums and her son's smile, bulldog terrier as a childhood pet, against light pollution, manic for radio dramas. constantly smells of hugging, how can someone smell like hugging? the one who eats door-to-door salesmen for breakfast, but charms the entire parent support group with your boisterous enthusiasm and courageous grace of carrying yourself well. you are a survivor. "you! stand up on your own two feet!"

Ageha: little white lies. the epitome of showbiz. slightly bizarre but you never want those clicking high heels to stop, champion of climbing trees. snakes and the divine are inextricably connected like the four beasts of the directions that protect a large snake coiled at the centre of the world (isn't that what you are?) time doesn't leave a mark on you, to you it is inconsequential my lady. spray that hibiscus perfume once again and watch me become enthralled by it. pancakes are a go to breakfast with your secret sauce that's really just citrus juice mixed with cream and vodka. kindness in the mask of an expertly carried theatre performance, or the rhythm of a street dancer, you bring tidal waves wherever you step. "you should know by now, that isn't enough to keep me entertained. show me something spectacular!"

Sofia Sakharov: compassion never picked up on, you prefer it that way. sticky food like homemade jam with the pips squeezed out, borscht and rye bread a familiar but not comforting texture on your pale tongue. days and nights blend together when you are the very essence of stars and the sun is right beside you - what more do you need? never have you ever been interested in the moon. putting up with things, a magenta that demands attention. unconsciously mimicking those around you and copying theur behaviour; it must be a pattern by now to blend in. that's all you've ever been asked to do. little ways of being rebellious. blunt and insensitive comments that scream for someone to try and uncover their source. tsarina of a thousand fullstops, sarcasm, matryoshka dolls,"who are you to lecture me?"

Terumi Kuchinawa: hungry looks exchanged between lovers. you probably learned french in school. speaking of that, slightly burnt french toast scarred like the sun's surface with a thousand pits, sweet and thick like a promise. here you are at the steps of the school waiting for the pigeons to take flight, over the rising light that illuminates your world (and you alone.) smell the cigarettes and stamp your foot at the irresponsible person who ruined your beautiful morning. where is the shyness and insecurity that you hide so well under the surface? oh but my dear you are a dragonfruit; when squishy, you burn with a whoosh of fire. not so innocent are you? your worth has pain dormant in yourself all the time you were searching for someone to give it to. "you're pathetic! but then, I guess you already know that."

Yuga Mikado: the traffic light turns green exactly as you step onto the road, maybe you know more than you should at the age you are, still waiting aren't you for the window to dry off after you scrubbed it clean, sparkly, transparent. nothing is bright but that's ok because you are enough. you glow brighter than lanterns. confident strides; how have you grown so fast, my child? you know all about living in someone's shadow but you have mint on your breath and we will go into the light with no regrets. aut inveniam viam aut faciam. "being around you is the most fun thing I can imagine!"

Ranma Kakogawa: and where would I have found myself if you had not been there in my time of need? ache of always being caught on your own. wouldn't it be nice to be crowded around for once, someone born to shine as bright as a fire. but sweetheart, should you ever have been held up to the right kind of mirror, you would have seen that you are the lens of a camera; seen and seen through, needed, loved, held. caramel latte art and a full English breakfast. can you hear the way the helicopter whirrs over the fields in the morning? praeterita mutare non possumus. "We're going to make it. I'll do whatever I have to to make it happen."

Subaru Hoshiyomi: could I believe in your courage the same way you trust in others? hesperus or venus, there is no difference in my eyes. a rose by any other name smells as sweet, the confidence you exude is a charisma of its own that you wield with ease. so selfish in your own way, unable to see beyond your own nose. wisdom and knowledge are different, but you will learn with time. you could call out the birds and sing down the mountain dawn with that compelling honesty of yours. brazen, tongue-in-cheek luceo non uro. "Even I can't fully understand you. However, that may not...be such a bad thing after all."

Masato Rikuo: strong chai tea topped with leaves and cinnamon. whatever are you waiting for? your boundless energy is more than an inspiration, at the heart of it, it's an innocent desire of a child. you've listened to those who poured out their ideals and that is all that can be expected from you. sometimes I think you do too much. concentration, additives, you may taste of all these, but you're au natural. never lose heart, dear one, never turn back or away. they will come to their senses in time. aut insanity homo, aut versus facit. "with you here, I could conquer the universe!!!!!! we're invincible!"

Light Kurouzu: seeing your face in a thousand and three copper whistling kettles steamed up with condensation. too many things you can't run from. videos without the ads because you paid for premium when you were down and now you can't waste it. yet another reason to dodge another batch of questions. there is roadwork and a ladder and a black cat on your daily journey home and you have made peace with every one of them. some things shouldn't be hidden inside superstition, you believe, rubbing at scratches. nec spe, nec metu. "You're going to be famous in a foreign city."

Seiji Kido: and again you pound your hands on the keys. There are no melodies, only different languages, and your inability to comprehend them frustrates you to no end. perhaps the beauty you've been seeking is in the openness of not knowing. can you wait a little longer to be accompanied in the empty concert halls? i promise there is someone waiting in the wings for their cue. faith is something terribly complicated to cultivate, but I give it to you now without charge. go forth again with your gifts and lay barr your heart. you have been heard and perhaps we were never lost, merely searching. semper ad meliora, "I'm right here, moron. Talk to me."

Masato Foil: conundrums again. You bear the weight of capital letters in your shoulders, raised to be a king, born to be a soldier, yet susceptible to the notions of poets that you request to be removed from a distance; they are not yours and never will be. so many possibilities yelling your name that you ignore as if you were deaf. I'm not sure whether I shall call you resolved or witless. Mountains will tremble when they are in your presence and countries will now before your feet. I just hope the hurt is worth it, dear liege, I have seen the heart you hold like a pen as you sign your edicts in blood.

si vis pacem, para bellum. "I rule for you alone."

Alexandre Ankh: scornful crown; you do not rule, you are a ruler and few can tell the difference. easy to read as palm lines, running fingertips over the intercrossed veins, as shallow and as deep as the surging currents of the parted Red Sea beneath Moses's staff. forever I would entrust the burdens to you because you do not see them as burdens but responsibility and that could be a curse or a birthright, I would not know. tear apart the lies for I give you my signet ring; take it and guide the people. you have the strength to be who you are, endure and admonish the lost. littera scripta manet. "You need never kneel when you are with me."

Kei Jinguji: paralysed worse than a paraplegic. who was the soul who ripped out your joy and replaced it with such numbing fear? I will readily admit that shame is not a medicine I wish to taste, yet the way you shudder in fear makes me want to swallow it for you. take a look at how I am making my words fall softer on your ears than light, and think to yourself that maybe the purpose of imperfection is to help us understand what grace is; what love is, that you need not be so desperate for something that requires nothing of you. the rainclouds are blocking out all your monsters, you are safe here. memento vivere. "It's my loss to you."

#aesthetic memes #dash games

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