#kteabug joor

[kteabug]

Chapter Thirteen: kairos

kairos: the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement

Chapter Summary: Oikawa travels to San Juan and Iwaizumi might get a roommate.

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Word Count: 4272

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, anxiety, 

Rating: 18+

A/N: I’m sorry it’s been so long since the last update. My pregnancy was exhausting but good news is Peanut is here and doing well (he came on 9/18 and was a tad early) - still trying to get back into the swing of things. 

Various Locations – Early March 2022

San Juan, Argentina – Saturday, 1pm

“Toooooruuuu!!!!” Mateo rushes over towards his former teammate, crashing into him as he wraps his arms around the Omega.

Oikawa takes in the familiar and missed tangerine pheromones, finally able to relax since he first got to the airport to leave Japan. He hates flying now, the intense mix of various pheromones makes the task more difficult than it already was, but his shoulders drop as the citrus scent slowly surrounds him.

“Give him some room to breathe, ‘Teo.” Pablo rolls his eyes, getting a smile from Oikawa, who is glad to see that they are still the same after he left.

“Don’t act like you didn’t miss him!” Mateo teases the Alpha, squeezing Oikawa once more before reluctantly stepping backwards.

Pablo tries to rebut before giving up, awkwardly looking around, unsure what to really do. He reaches out to take Oikawa’s backpack but is surprised when he’s pulled into a hug by the Omega.

“I missed you too.” Oikawa beams his signature smile up at the Alpha, who can’t seem to say anything coherent before the Omega lets go.

The three of them head to the baggage claim, Pablo grabs his suitcase before either Omega could. Mateo eagerly catches Oikawa up on the team, old and new teammates, about the coach and mostly just about how things have been in their friend group since he left. It’s a bit bittersweet really, listening to all the things he’s had to miss out on, but on the other hand he appreciates that his departure didn’t cause any issues with his friends.

* * Irvine, California – 9am

The blonde watches his phone – the blue-eyed man on the other end is frantically moving around the apartment. They’d been on video call for nearly 30 minutes and at least 25 of them were him watching the other man arrange and rearrange the living room area over and over.

“I think the khaki pillow looked better on the left cushion of the couch rather than the right.”

“Really?” Santiago reaches for the pillow before stopping, an unamused expression on his face as he turns towards his laptop. “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm, sir.”

The blonde feigns innocence, “I have no idea what you mean.”

He sighs, flopping down on the bar stool in front of the bar where his laptop is sitting, running his fingers through his hair, an adorable pout on his face. “I’m sorry. You’re busy and here I am wasting time by moving furniture.”

“No time spent with you is wasted.” He laughs watching Santiago cringe at the corny comment, “but I do need to get going – warm-ups will be starting soon.”

The dark-haired Alpha poked out his bottom lip, “shouldn’t college athletes be old enough to warm-up without their coach?”

Someone calls for the blonde, pulling his attention from the pouting Alpha. After a few minutes, his attention is redirected, “I really need to go, Santi. I’ll try to call tonight if you haven’t partied too hard, I know how you get.”

Santi rolls his eyes, “I drunk call one time and it never gets let go.”

“Never.” He smirks, “alright, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, Col. Good luck today.”

“You too. Oh – I’d move that pillow before he gets there!”

“BYE!” Santiago hangs up in the middle of Colin laughing. Shaking his head at the other Alpha’s behavior, no matter how ridiculous he is, he always seems to calm Santiago down.

** San Juan, Argentina – Saturday, 1:45pm

Oikawa has spent the entire elevator ride fidgeting with his phone, nervously wondering where the campfire scented Alpha is. There’s a thought, a quick one, but it settles deeply in his stomach and that’s that maybe the Alpha doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Maybe over the last few months he realized Oikawa was just too much to deal with.  

“Honey, we’re home!” Mateo calls out when he unlocks the Alpha’s apartment. The three of them shuffled into the doorway, Pablo still refusing to let Oikawa carry his own luggage.

A panicked Alpha looks over at the door, khaki-colored pillow in his hand as his dark hair falls slightly in his eyes. Oikawa squeezes between Mateo and Pablo, a cautious expression on his face as he searches Santiago’s for any clues on his feelings, hoping that it’s all in his head, that his former teammate wouldn’t just abandon him like a certain other Alpha.

It happens in a blur. Strong tanned arms wrap around him, pulling him into a broad chest as he feels the other man nuzzle his face into the curve of his neck. His nose brushes gently against his scent gland – ones that Oikawa covered with scent blockers and now feels awkward having done – trying to take in the Omega’s pheromones.

“I missed you so much.” The Alpha finally speaks, voice a bit huskier than he remembers and suddenly all the stress that has been knotted up in shoulders, all the negative thoughts about Santiago wanting nothing to do with him, just evaporates as he wraps his arms around the Alpha.

** San Juan, Argentina – Saturday, 11pm

“Since when do you only drink two beers?” Oikawa teases the Alpha, getting a sleepy chuckle out of Pablo, who is half-asleep in the armchair closest to the door.

“It’s because of blondie.” Mateo adds, tossing a wink to whomever.

“Blondie?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow as he turns to Santiago, curiosity tangling into his scent.

He rubs the back of his neck, clearly trying to come up with something to say, but unable to. “J-just a friend.”

Oikawa watches as the Alpha looks down at his ringing phone before excusing himself down the hall. The Omega looks over at Mateo, who just waves him off, reassuring him that Santiago wasn’t upset, but maybe a bit embarrassed.

The brunette gets a bit impatient, tossing his phone beside him after absentmindedly scrolling through various apps. He looks over to see both Mateo and Pablo passed out before he heads down the hall to see what Santiago is up to, but stops when he hears the Alpha talking.

“How was the track meet?” Santi follows up with a congrats, leaving Oikawa to suspect things went well for whomever was on the other end.

Oikawa’s eyes widen slightly, watching a new side of the Alpha appear – one he’s never seen before. He watches the usually confident and boisterous Alpha turn into a docile, shy-like pup and Oikawa is sure if he had a tail, it’d be wagging excitedly.

“Ya know,” his voice becomes soft, bashfulness slipping into his pheromones, “I was looking at my schedule and I think I can get some time off at the end of next month.”

Oikawa knows he should leave, that obviously this was a private conversation, but he’s captivated at just how Santiago is acting. How tamed he seems to be with whoever is on the other end of the line.

“No, no, no…I can come there. Maybe even see you in action as the best track coach.” There’s a pause, “best coach in my book.”

The Omega smiles, slightly jealous of the interaction, wishing he had an Alpha like that. Wishing for just a moment the Alpha who marked him acted that way (damn his stupid instincts) and for just a moment, he wonders how he ever let Sanitago go, why he never gave him a chance.

Santiago amusingly hums at something said to him before finally noticing Oikawa in the doorway, looking apologetic. He holds up an index finger – signaling for him to wait.

“You’ll call tomorrow when you get back? Be careful please.” The Alpha lowers his voice as he turns away from Oikawa, but the brunette swears he hears: ‘goodnight, I love you.’

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Oikawa quickly defends himself when Santi turns around, the call now ended.

“No worries.”

“I guess that was blondie?” Oikawa watches the Alpha run his fingers through his hair, turning away slightly as if he was embarrassed and suddenly it all clicks. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“His name is Colin. We met at the Olympics, he was on the USA team.” Santi motions for Oikawa to sit next to him on the side of the bed. He tells the Omega how it was a complete coincidence that they had even met: that he had gone to the vending machines and saw Colin and his friend, Ty. Then later that night, he ran into the blonde again outside the hotel which led to them talking well into the morning.

“Aww. Santi, that's adorable.” The Omega purrs.

The Alpha rolls his eyes, “we just clicked and exchanged numbers, but it’s nothing official or anything. Not to mention the huge distance.”

Oikawa picks up on the slight distress coming off Santi, “I think any Omega would be lucky to have you, regardless of the distance. You’re worth making it work, ya know?”

Santiago smirks when the pang in his chest he’s waiting for never comes. There was a time when he’d read into that, assuming the brunette Omega felt the same way about him, but he guesses this is what you call growth. He hums, “I’m pretty sure I’m more lucky to have him.”

** San Juan, Argentina – Thursday, 10am

“Stay.” Mateo clings to Oikawa, whining repeatedly, “just a couple more days or forever. My apartment has a spare room.”

Oikawa chuckles, “I would, but I promised my mom I’d be home for dinner.”

The other Omega just rolls his eyes, shooting a glare at the two Alphas who found Oikawa’s remark hilarious. He knows this goodbye isn’t forever, that Oikawa has already promised to be better at keeping in contact, trying to visit more once things get more settled with his mark and he figures out what he’s going to do with the rest of his life now that volleyball is over.

“Do you need help carrying this?” Pablo asks. “I got it from here.” Oikawa takes his backpack and suitcase from the Alpha, who once again refuses to let him carry his own bags. “I won’t have any strong Alphas back home to carry them for me.”

“You know you really can stay. My place has an extra room and is a lot nicer than Mat’s.” Santiago offers.

“Hey!”

“I appreciate it and would like to stay, but –” He stops, unsure of what really is keeping him in Japan. There are doctors in Argentina and it isn’t like he’s attending college or working which would keep him in his home country. The only thing he can think of is Iwa, but things with him were still so up in the air.

“But your mom is waiting.” Santi finishes, picking up on the very slight distress coming from the Omega.

Oikawa just smiles, once again thankful for the Alpha who always seems to just know. “Colin is really lucky to have you.”

He says one final goodbye to his friends before heading towards his gate, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders because this time, leaving feels like it’s his choice instead of the only one he has.

* * Tokyo, Japan – Late March 2022

Iwaizumi is exhausted. Somehow the exercise physiologist that was hired four months ago has led him to having even more work. The charts have all recently been digitized so that at any time an employee can sign into the charts and add notes and such to the players’ charts. However it seems the new guy likes to just jot notes down in a personal notebook and not input them into the charts meaning Iwaizumi has to hunt the information down. He understands handwriting notes, he too has a notebook he keeps things in, but at least he makes sure to make it accessible to the rest of the staff. So much for teamwork.

But Iwa’s irritation towards the other Alpha goes deeper than missing chart notes and always taking the coffee mug Iwa likes to use. There’s just something about him that rubs Iwaizumi the wrong way like a shirt tag that scratches against your neck. Maybe it’s the fact this guy refuses to use scent patches and his almost suffocating pheromones fill whatever space he’s been in. Or maybe it’s the annoying way the leathery scent seems familiar, but he can’t place it.

He scrunches up his face as he places the mug of now cold coffee back on his desk – mood further souring. Rolling his shoulders he looks over at the wall clock in his office: 5:45PM and he knows that he won’t be leaving anytime soon.

Ding! Ding!

Oikawa: Are you coming to Mattsun’s?

Oikawa: Oh! Sorry to bother you at work!

Iwaizumi: Don’t be! No bother at all.

Iwaizumi: I can’t tonight – paperwork.

Iwaizumi sighs, his irritation toward the newly hired Alpha grows. Things between the pair had been a little off after the reunion and before they could meet back up in person, he took a trip to South America. Iwaizumi assumed that he’d have a lot of people to catch up with, so he limited his replies even though it drove him crazy to know he could talk to the Omega whenever he wanted. He knows Oikawa is having a tough time and even if it means swallowing his feelings down, he just wants to be there for him, to be the one he can lean on. But this stupid, leathery smelling bitch of an Alpha continues to stand in his way.

** Oikawa: Boo you whore!

Oikawa lets out a deep sigh, dropping his arm to the side while his fingers brush against the carpet. The only thing that had gotten him through this shitty week had been the thought of getting to see and talk to the Alpha.

The pair have been texting a lot, almost everyday ended with a phone call to the other, and things have started to feel more normal than they had been since his return to Japan. But texts and calls weren’t the same as being face-to-face, to being able to smell Iwa’s earthy pheromones and pretend he doesn’t notice how he’s the only Alpha that doesn’t trigger his instincts into thinking he’s betraying the one whose mark he wears.

Bzzt! Bzzt!

Iwaizumi Hajime: Blame the new guy

Oikawa: Maybe I’ll come by and give him a piece of my mind.

Iwaizumi Hajime: And tell him what? To leave your Alpha alone?

Oikawa squeals, tossing his phone towards Makki who gets hit in the shin due to not paying attention to the Omega’s antics. The pink-haired Beta quickly shoots a confused look at the brunette before picking up the cellphone by his foot.

“Who are you talking to that has you acting more of a dork than usual?”

“...Iwaizumi.”

The Beta perks up, trying a few password combinations before locking the Omega out of his phone for five minutes. Both men groan as they can only sit and watch the phone slowly and painstakingly count down – both silently thankful Makki didn’t disable it for any longer or permanently.

Oikawa experiences several emotions while reading the six unread messages from Iwa that all came in during the last five minutes. From the bashfulness that heats up the tips of his ears and fills his chest with warmth to the defeated feeling that runs a chill across his shoulders when reality slaps him in the face, taking away the short illusion that his life isn’t what it is.

Iwaizumi Hajime: I meant friend

Iwaizumi Hajime: Ya know, like ‘leave your Alpha friend alone’

Iwaizumi Hajime: That makes even less sense…

Iwaizumi Hajime: Oikawa? Hello?

Iwaizumi Hajime: I’ll talk to you later…paperwork, ya know?

Iwaizumi Hajime: I’m sorry for that message…especially since you’re…well ya know…

“At least he didn’t text you ‘I was hacked’ or something lame like that.”

Oikawa gives Makki a ‘what the fuck’ expression before locking his phone. “I thought you were going to help me search for an apartment, not pick on me.”

“I don’t even think ‘hiro has ever searched for an apartment in his life.” Mattsun remarks as he walks into the apartment, having just got off of work. He presses a quick kiss to Makki’s temple before properly greeting the Omega.

“I did too! I went with Ryuu–” the Beta quickly bites his lip, eyes focusing on the ground because he doesn’t want to see the look that could be in Matsukawa’s eyes.

Mattsun clears his throat, it does nothing to alleviate the thick tension that’s in the air around them. “Why the sudden itch to move? I’m sure your parents love having you there.”

“They do and I enjoy being there. But…uh…well it’s getting harder on me to be exposed to so many pheromones and the train takes a huge toll on me. I figured finding a place close or at least closer to my doctors would be the best.” He knows that he’s rambling a bit, but he can’t help it. The clear tension in the room has him slightly on edge. “Plus I should really think of getting a job or maybe going to college.”

Matsukawa hums before walking down the hallway towards the master bedroom. Once the door clicks, Oikawa practically breaks his neck turning towards Hanamaki, who already knows what’s going to come out of the Omega’s mouth.

“What the fuck was that? Who is Ryuu? Why did Mattsun look so…dejected?”

Makki glances down the hallway, their bedroom door still shut, but he keeps his voice low anyways. “Ryuuji was an…uhm…Alpha I saw for some time.”

“Before Mattsun?” His words come out slowly and he doesn’t like the look on the Beta’s face. “While you were together? Makki…did you che–”

“No!” He yells in a hushed tone. “It was before we were together or at least serious. Back when we just hooked up from time to time, I happened to meet Ryuuji while waiting for Issei to meet me at a bar. We actually stopped talking for a while, Issei and I, so it’s just kind of a sore topic.”

“What happened? I mean with Ry–that Alpha?” Of course Oikawa knew Mattsun and Makki were essentially fuckbuddies. Hell, anyone with half a brain cell could see that, but the Omega never knew they stopped talking, that someone drove them apart.

“He did what Alphas do.” Hanamaki’s words are laced with venom, “he marked an Omega.”

The brunette’s hand moves on its own, covering the bite mark that’s already hidden behind his charcoal gray turtleneck.

* * Tokyo, Japan –  Early April 2022

Iwaizumi watches in confusion as Hanamaki looks around his apartment, walking around like he’s scoping the place out.

“Would you say it’s fairly priced for the location? How far from K University? Do you like the area?”

The Alpha glances at Matsukawa who just throws his hands up, he’s just as confused and lost as Iwa is with his partner’s behavior. “It’s within my budget, so I’d say yeah. It’s about a ten minute walk and I don’t really go out much due to work, but my coworkers enjoy the local shops and such.”

The Beta hums, walking down the hallway. “How many bedrooms?”

“Uh…two.” Iwa looks at Makki when he returns to the living room area, “why so many questions? Mattsun finally kicked ya out?”

Makki scrunches his face and sticks his tongue out, “funny, but no. I know someone who is looking for a place. Do you use your second bedroom?”

“What? Uhm, not really. It was going to be an office, but I never work from home.”

“You know, they say having a roommate makes you happier.”

“Who says that?” Iwa asks just as Mattsun remarks, “do they really?”

“It was in an article.” Makki shoots a glare at his partner, “anyways, think of how fun it would be! More money in your pocket, someone to help around the place, no more lonely nights in silence.”

“When did I say my nights were lonely?”

“You’re 28, live alone and don’t even have a plant. They’re lonely.” Makki tilts his head with an amused look on his face.

“Wait wait wait. Who do you know that needs a place?”

“Oikawa. He mentioned it a few weeks ago when he came over.”

This certainly catches Iwaizumi’s attention. The two of them have talked plenty within that time frame and the Omega never mentioned it to him. “Why out here? Wouldn’t it be easier to stay close to his parents?”

Makki rolls his eyes, annoyed that those two still haven’t gotten their shit together, before telling Iwaizumi briefly what Oikawa had told him. The train rides were beginning to take a huge toll, he spent more time at the various doctors than at home anyways, and he was thinking of getting a job or going back to school.

Iwaizumi realizes there’s a lot that Oikawa doesn’t include in their conversations and he tries not to feel so rejected by that realization. An Alpha had hurt him, so of course opening up to another one, especially one with a rocky history, would be difficult. Not to mention, Iwaizumi could start asking deeper questions instead of just ‘how are you’ and ‘did you have a decent day’ and waiting for Oikawa to lead the conversation.

“Even if I wanted a roommate, asking Oikawa to move in would be disrespectful.”

Matsukawa runs his hand down his face, “what the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s distasteful to live with a marked Omega who isn’t bonded to you.”

The two Betas share a look, one mixed with exhaustion and annoyance, those two really did know how to stress them out unknowingly.

“That’s such a traditional way of thinking.” Mattsun tells the Alpha.

“Yeah, did we wake up back in the 1800’s.” Makki teases, “plus the hell with tradition. There’s nothing traditional about his whole situation. He’s been home for what…six months now? And not once has that Alpha appeared or even been mentioned.”

Hanamaki did make good points. It would be different if the bond was complete. It would be different if Oikawa was just blatantly choosing to live with a different Alpha. Hell, it would be different if the Omega wasn’t bonded at all. But he is and the only saving grace that calms Iwa’s thoughts is that that Alpha isn’t in the picture. Well at least he assumes said Alpha isn’t.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes when he hears Makki squeal.

The strawberry-haired Beta jumps up, immediately announcing that he’s calling Oikawa before either of the other men in the apartment can object.

“But only if he can’t find a place first!” Iwaizumi calls out, knowing the Beta doesn’t hear a word he’s just said.

“Looks like you might get a roommate, eh?” Matsukawa smirks when Iwaizumi chugs the rest of his beer.

* * Miyagi, Japan – Mid April 2022

“Are you sure about this? It’s not really…it might look…” Miyeko struggles to find the right way to phrase her thoughts.

“No matter what I do, things won’t look good to some people.” Oikawa chuckles, knowing his mother means well, but he’s used to this. Used to the awkward stares he gets from new nurses and receptionists, to the curious looks when people realize he’s covering a bond mark, something most wear with pride. He can’t say that he likes or enjoys the feeling of shame that he gets or the way he wants to crumble at their judgment, but his parents have done so much and the least he can do is act like it doesn’t get to him.

“I think this will be good for Tooru,” Daisuke gives his wife’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe he’ll be able to spend less days stuck in bed from pheromone overloads and even go back to lower doses of his medicine. Things may get more stable and he can start the next chapter in his life. Plus we know Hajime will look after him.”

Miyeko still doesn’t look all that convinced and her tone solidifies that, “but…maybe we should ask your doctor again or get a second opinion.”

“Dr. Frye thinks it will be a good thing and so does Dr. Arimura. I promise if it gets too much I’ll rethink things and bring them up at appointments.”

“If it gets too much, Tooru knows he can come home or we can help him find a different place.”

“Let’s just get you a single apartment now.” Hints of distress start to taint his mother’s lavender scent causing his dad’s woodsy scent to fill the room.

“Mi, I’m worried about this too, but I think we can both agree we’d feel a bit better if we knew someone was with Tooru, right?”

“It’s just…he’s an Alpha…”

“But before that, he’s just Hajime, Tooru’s childhood best friend. We know his pheromones don’t affect Tooru as badly as others do and this way there’s someone there just in case.”

“He’ll be my roommate not my keeper.” Oikawa huffs, feeling more like a teenager than he did back when he actually was one.

“And you’re sure he’s okay with you living with him?” Miyeko turns her attention back to her son.

“Yes, Mom. I’ll have him tell you himself when he calls tonight if you want.”

“Well, if you are both sure this is a good idea…” “I’m already poorly bonded, what’s the worst that could happen?” Oikawa jokes, causing Miyeko to state he was going to cause her to have a heart attack before walking off and getting a head shake from Daisuke.

But honestly, what was the worst that could happen?

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#kteabug joor #iwaoi omegaverse #haikyuu #haikyuu omegaverse #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #iwaoi

[kaitycole]

joor update

joor will be moved to my character ship blog ( @kteabug ) so please don’t panic if you see that username tagging you for upcoming chapters.

I’m going to just repost all the chapters on the new blog, but I won't bother tagging anyone in the old chapters/posts (unless you want me to, I don’t wanna spam anyone) so tagging from the new blog won't start until chapter 9 is posted. 

please feel free to also follow me on the new blog, I’d really appreciate it. 

joor tags: @pattys-got-cakes @savantsoulfinder @thekillingjokexd

#kaitycole - just out of reach

[kteabug]

Chapter Eleven: sillage

sillage: the scent that lingers in air, the trace of someone’s perfume

Chapter Summary: Iwaizumi has a million and one questions when he learns Oikawa is back in Japan especially since it’s just weeks into volleyball season, but will he be able to handle being face to face with the Omega? 

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Word Count: 6069

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety. Brief mention of potential pregnancy. Mentions of alcohol and hangovers. Jealous Iwa. Fluffy MatsuHana. Protective big sister Emiko. 

Rating: 18+

A/N: I just want to reiterate that this is a slowburn series which means that things won’t just be patched up because they are both in Japan. That even though it’s fiction, I want to be as realistic as possible and while yeah, Iwa and Oikawa both share feelings, there’s lots they need to work through before they can start that conversation. 

A/N 2: It’s a bit late but I made a character profile for Santiago ( X ) and thanks to @boosyboo9206​ for helping me bounce ideas around with and Oikawa’s social media username!

Tokyo, Japan – Late November 2021

“What’s up?” Iwaizumi balances the phone between his ear and shoulder, continuing his task of folding laundry.

“Got something to run by you.”

He stops, taking the phone in his hand, abandoning the task to sit down on the edge of the bed, a little irritated that the short stack of towel fell over. Whenever Matsukawa used that tone, it was almost always followed by something serious. He had used it back when telling Iwa that he and Makki were no longer friends years ago, used it to tell Iwa to pull his head out of his ass when it came to Colin and he had overheard him use it when telling Makki that he’d never want anyone else.

“Should I sit down?” He tries to break up the awkward feeling with a lame joke, obviously it doesn’t work, instead Mattsun clears his throat, causing the pit forming in Iwa’s stomach to feel heavier.

“Takahiro found out that Oikawa’s in Japan. He wanted to invite him out on Saturday with...the three of us.”

Why is he in Japan? The season just started a few weeks ago. Is he hurt? Did he switch teams? No, definitely not, I’d have heard something at the facility. Or from Ushijima.

“I can tell him not to and to just plan another time with Oikawa.” There was something almost vulnerable in Matsukawa’s tone, the way he seems to want to say more, but holds himself back. He’s always been the kind of friend to wait until you ask for help, rather than just insert an unsolicited opinion.

“Oh, uh, don’t worry about that.” Iwaizumi lets out a deep sigh, biting down on his bottom lip, wondering how he could word this without sounding too desperate, too anxious, too eager. But he needs answers and the best way to get those is almost always from the source. “The four of us together, it’ll be like high school.”

The Alpha can hear a muffled version of Hanamaki’s voice on the other end before it comes through the phone clearer, “as long as it’s not like senior year.”

** Next Day

Iwaizumi lets out a sigh, wanting the over-the-counter painkillers to kick in to alleviate the massive headache he’s had ever since he got off the phone with Matsukawa. He has too many questions, too few answers, and no way to confirm anything at this moment. Technically he could, he could go to his parents’ house, wait to see Oikawa across the yard or even bow to fate and just knock on their front door asking to speak. He could even ask either Mattsun or Makki for the Omega’s new number since the one he had in his phone was disconnected, something he learned back when he moved to California and tried calling him. But then he realized that Oikawa could do those things if he wanted, he could knock on his parents’ door asking for him and could ask for his number from Makki. Though Iwa isn’t sure if he knew the Alpha had a new number, had he tried calling him after he got it changed?

The Alpha tries to shake off the uneasy feeling he has, trying to push his overthinking to the back of his head, he’d know in just a few days’ time. However, the realization that he’s not owed any answers from Oikawa hits him. The ugly truth is the two of them are no longer best friends, he no longer knew the Omega like the back of his hand. His mind briefly wanders back to their fight, the last time they held an actual conversation and his stomach twists into knots remembering how callous he had been.

“I can bring back your stuff tomorrow.” Oikawa whispered.

“Since when do you return things you borrow?” Iwaizumi laughed, “keep it. I don’t want your scent around me anymore.”

“Oh, sorry.” Iwaizumi says, still lost in thought when he feels his shoulder collide into someone else’s. He shakes his head, trying to force himself to focus on work related things, no sense lingering on things he can’t change.

“No worries.” The other man mutters with a prickly tone, not bothering to stop or anything as he continues down the hallway.

Iwaizumi notices he has one of those ‘my name is’ stickers on his shirt, a telltale sign that he’s a new employee, most likely there for some kind of training or tour of the facility. For some reason, the Alpha doesn’t like the man despite never having met him before and he’s unsure if it was his snarky attitude or the way he seemed to just flare out his overwhelming leathery pheromones.

*                      * Tokyo, Japan – December 4, 2021, Saturday

Iwa runs his fingers through his hair, it’s a bit longer than he usually keeps it, but his mind has been more occupied with seeing Oikawa and what could’ve brought him home during volleyball season than worrying to schedule a hair appointment. He takes a final glance at his outfit, usually he didn’t put much thought into what he would wear, but something about tonight made gym shorts and a hoodie feel wrong. After what felt like hours of contemplating, he settled on jeans and an olive green long-sleeve Henley to wear under a black bomber jacket, but looking at it now, it still feels wrong.

He checks his watch to see that it's 2:48pm, he’s starting to cut it close to get to the station before he snatches up his wallet and keys, rushing out the door. Even with taking the bullet train, it’s still roughly a three hours long trip and he hopes that in that time he’s able to calm the sinking feeling in his stomach.

** Miyagi, Japan

By the time he gets to his hometown, he has even more questions than he did when he got off the phone with Mattsun. Iwaizumi gets to the bar at the same time as Mattsun and Makki, the three exchanging pleasantries before Mattsun opens the door, everyone shuffling inside to the warmth that wraps around them like a much needed hug.

“Still okay with this?” Makki asks, sliding to the inside of the bench seat, Iwa taking a seat next to him.

“Perfectly fine.” As soon as the order of beers hit the table, he downs half of his bottle, both Betas looking at him as though he’s grown an extra head.

“Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.” Makki shakes his head before wincing when Mattsun kicks his shin.

“If it’s too much, we can tell him that something came up and you had to leave.”

Iwa leans his head back, sighing loudly before looking between the others, “nah, it’s about time to see each other.”

“You got your protective Alpha face on.” Makki teases, his index finger poking the Alpha on the side of the forehead, “seems like it's more than that.”

“I just…” Iwaizumi had told himself that he only came tonight for two reasons. One, his parents taught him it’s rude to cancel plans at the last minute and two, he’s an athletic trainer, so by default it’s his job to make sure athletes are healthy. There has to be a reason why Oikawa’s home randomly during the season, something didn’t add up, and it’s his responsibility to see what it was.

“Want to make sure he’s okay?” Mattsun suggests, giving him a knowing look. He already knows that Iwa carries around the guilt that allows him to continuously blame himself for Oikawa’s knee injury back in high school.

He doesn’t get a chance to answer, not that he really wanted to admit that to begin with, an all too familiar scent starts to flood over him, instantly capturing his attention. There’s something different about the honey fragrance, something about it seems muddied, like something is overwhelming the soft smell, but he can’t place it. Fluffy brunette hair catches his eye before he snaps his line of sight down to the bottle in front of him, mentally rolling his eyes as Makki cracks some ridiculous line as he dramatically waves his arm to get the Omega’s attention.

It’s just Oikawa, I can do this. I’ll just wait for an opening and jump into whatever conversation they have. No need to put pressure on either of us.

“...say anything.”

He catches the tail end of Mattsun’s statement, realizing that Oikawa is now sitting right across the table from him, roughly 24 inches (60.96cm) now separating them. Iwaizumi glances up a few times when he knows Oikawa’s head is turned away from, worried when he hears how scared Oikawa’s voice comes out and how he hasn’t stopped fidgeting since he sat down. Oikawa’s bouncing his leg, paying no attention when he accidentally bumps Iwa’s foot with his, causing the Alpha to swallow hard.

“No, uhm, I...I’m moving back home...permanently.”

Iwaizumi’s head and attention snaps up from his task of absentmindedly tearing at his bottle’s label. He’s sure the other two have said something, but he doesn’t pay attention to what they say, his question slipping out from between his lips before he can really give it much thought. “Why?”

Medical leave for Omega stuff? So it isn’t his knee or another injury?

Once again, more questions than answers start to swirl around his mind, what exactly was Omega stuff? His next thought however knocks the wind out of him, has him suddenly panicking, struggling to keep his pheromones at bay which gains him a few looks from surrounding patrons.

Is he…male Omegas can get….is that why his pheromones seem different?

The Alpha doesn’t have long to spiral into his own thoughts, eyes widening as Oikawa’s neck comes into view as he slowly unravels the scarf from around it. Iwa’s mouth dries, heart starts to pound hard against his ribcage while his stomach twists up into knots.

“Holy…” Mattsun starts as Makki finishes, “...fuck.”

Marked. He’s marked.

Iwaizumi knew that could be something that happened between Oikawa and some other Alpha, he has always known that. That some Alpha, far better than him, would come along and capture Oikawa’s attention, in all the ways that he never could. It’s not like he thought the Omega was just pinning away for him and it’s not like he just sat around single and waiting around for him either. However, that thought didn’t help the hurt that starts to burrow into the middle of his chest, doesn’t remove the stinging sensation he feels every time he tries to swallow, or keep his eyes from all but gawking at the mark.

“Would you like to order?” A voice breaks through the tense and awkwardness that’s fallen over the table, Iwaizumi silently thanking whatever deity sent the waiter at that moment.

An appetizer platter, two beers, one Umeshu and a green tea are brought to a silent table, no one really knowing what to say or how to even try to start a conversation of any kind. What feels like ten minutes passes before the weight of the silence becomes too unbearable for Iwaizumi, who slides out of the booth.

He runs his fingers through his hair, struggling to keep his pheromones, laced with irritation and remorse, from flaring out, trying to think of something to say. By the looks on everyone’s face, no one really seems all that surprised at his actions, though the heartbroken look on Hanamaki’s face speaks for itself. Iwaizumi feels like an idiot, all week he’s worked himself up, thought up hundreds of questions and reasons for why Oikawa was home, all for naught, frankly it wasn’t his place to do so anymore. He’s slapped across the face again by the fact that he may be an Alpha, but he’s not Oikawa’s, never would be because marking tends to be pretty permanent and that causes his knees to buckle.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night.” He takes out his wallet, laying a few bills on the table, “it’s a long trip to Tokyo.”

“I thought you were staying with your parents?” Matsukawa looks a bit confused, positive that the Alpha mentioned staying in town for the night when they last spoke several days ago.

“I was, but there’s a new hire so I was assigned some extra..uh…paperwork.” Iwaizumi never really got the point of lying. To him, it’s far easier to tell the truth than to remember a web of lies one has to make to keep one up. Though he supposes if him not telling Oikawa his feelings is a lie of some sort, then it could count as a lifetime of lies.

He hates the way his stomach sinks, hates knowing that Matsukawa already knows he’s lying, but he can’t just sit here and what? Listen to Oikawa talk about whoever’s mark that was? Hear about the Alpha that’s better than him and could actually own up to their feelings? And he has no reason to be mad at anyone other than himself, he’s the one who never bothered to confess, never gave a voice to the way he felt and Oikawa is certainly not a mind reader.

“Let us know when you get home, okay?” Matsukawa tells Iwa before the Alpha throws up a hand as a goodbye and makes his way out of the bar.

** After everyone eats a bit from the appetizer platter, seats are moved around so Makki is sitting next to Mattsun with Oikawa across from them. Oikawa looks down at the table, the small part of him that felt relaxed when being around Iwa’s pheromones is now full of nothing but anxiety as he starts to wring his hands together again.

He hears the pain in Makki’s tone, sees the way he’s leaning against Mattsun for support, picking up on the Beta’s soft orange scented pheromones. “When did it happen?”

“‘Hiro, maybe…”

“No, I want to know!” Hanamaki pulls out his phone, scrolls repeatedly for a while until he loudly drops it onto the table, “cause we’ve spoken almost every day and I can’t find you mentioning it.“

Oikawa understands his friend’s disappointment and gets why his words are so harsh, but it still hurts. He knows it’s all his fault for continuously letting the important people in his life down, he’s the whole reason those around him were suffering and it’s all because he screwed up. He knows it’s impossible to be perfect, that one shouldn’t put that amount of pressure on themselves, but up until that Alpha came into his life, he felt things were as perfect as they could be. He really is pathetic.

“It uhm…back in February.”

Makki starts mumbling some math equation before looking back up at Oikawa, nothing but heartbreak in his eyes, “that’s like 40 weeks. Was I not important enough to know?”

“Mak…” Oikawa starts to reach out to him across the table, but the pink haired Beta slips out of the booth, shaking his head as he mutters to Mattsun that he’s going outside for a bit. Matsukawa is certain that his partner is walking around outside, tempted to go to the smoking area. It’s been a handful of years since Makki stopped smoking, but whenever he gets really upset Mattsun’s learned he will either stand near a smoking section or go buy a pack of cigarettes that he won’t open.

“It doesn’t look like it, but he’s not mad at you.” Mattsun sips his beer, “I promise.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Oikawa mutters, his green tea suddenly seems less appealing than it had earlier. If he thought back to the various reactions he’s received over the mark, Makki’s is a lot better than others had been. Santiago had been ready to rip that Alpha’s head off, his father had dropped his glass causing the shards to shatter in the kitchen and Iwaizumi, well he just left…all over again.

A long five minutes tick by before either of them see pink-hair slowly making its way back to their booth. This time however he sits down next to Oikawa, pulling the Omega into an unexpected hug, hoping the gesture comforts the brunette. He tells him that he’s sorry for storming off, for making things about him, and he has no excuse for his behavior. He shushes Oikawa when he tries to talk, telling the setter that if it was a shock to him, he couldn’t imagine what it’s been like for him, apologizing for not being someone he could open up to.

“I…I was going to slowly bring up the topic. Just drop the subject to get a general consensus on the topic before I fucked everything up…again.”

It’s clear that there’s more there, neither Beta understanding why Oikawa was beating himself up over a simple act of taking off his scarf, to them it was a normal task when inside a warm building. They watch him start to chew on his bottom lip, tears lining his eyes, a very fragile and broken version of the confident and collected Oikawa they were used to.

** Somewhere between Miyagi and Tokyo

Iwaizumi leans his head back against the headrest, tightly squeezing his eyes shut, his head pounding. Forcing a deep breath out through his nose, he tries to calm down, to digest what just happened at the bar, but it’s too difficult.

He’s angry.

He's livid.

He’s heartbroken.

For a split second, part of him wishes that it had been Oikawa’s knee that brought him back to Japan, but that thought just makes him feel worse. An injury would take volleyball away from the Omega which would destroy him, but marking…well, people continued on with their lives relatively unmaimed afterwards.

Who's the Alpha? Are they moving to Japan too? Or just Oikawa? Why wouldn’t the Alpha come too? Is he coming later?

Iwaizumi sits straight up in his seat, somehow the more he tries to figure out everything, the worse his headache gets. He regrets his decision to run back to Tokyo, partially because it’d been a while since he’s seen his family, but also because he said he was done being a coward. The only thing somewhat calming the Alpha irritation is that he’ll be back in Miyagi on the 24th to celebrate with his parents and that’d give him another chance to see the Omega.

** Miyagi, Japan

Hanamaki pays no attention to where his shoes land after he kicks them off nor does he bother to turn any of the lights on as he stalks off down the hallway. Matsukawa lets out a deep breath through his nose, leaning down to straighten up the slip-on shoes that are haphardlessly lying next to the shoe rack as he places his Chelsea boots next to them. He’s at a loss for what to say, what to do, deciding to use the next twenty minutes to figure it out when he hears the shower turn on.

Makki lets the water relax his tense shoulders, the bathroom is completely full of steam from the heat of the water, knowing Matsukawa would nag if he walked in. He feels drained, similar to how one feels after taking an exam they’ve spent days stressing over. As he lightly rakes his nails through his hair, lathering the aloe scented shampoo, he wishes Mattsun had followed him, even in the hot shower, the raven-haired Beta’s natural warmth is missed and Makki craves it right now.

He swipes his hand across the steamed up mirror, which doesn’t do much, he can only see a blurry reflection. Tears start to fall down his cheeks, lip quivering as he tries to calm himself, hating the ugly feeling that’s growing in his chest. Makki is hurt, he’s upset, feeling like all these years he’s viewed Oikawa as a best friend, a confidant, only to get the impression that it’s been one-sided.

Matsukawa’s sitting on the edge of the bed, glancing up when the bathroom door opens, Makki steps out in one of Mattsun’s gray t-shirts. Neither says anything, Mattsun just watches as Makki walks around the room, letting the steam from the bathroom dissipate before the loud hum of the hair dryer fills the room. He knows that Mattsun’s going to want to talk to him, to figure out why he didn't say anything after dropping Oikawa off at his parents, and how he just stormed through their apartment, but he doesn’t want to. That’s why even though his hair has long been dry, he keeps the dryer on, trying to avoid the inevitable.

“‘Hiro…” Matsukawa calls out when he sees his partner finally leave the bathroom, walking over towards him. He watches as Makki climbs on top of his lap, straddling his legs on either side before his shoulders drop and he buries his face into the crook of Mattsun’s neck.

Hanamaki mumbles something against Matsukawa’s bare skin, sniffles escape him as he leans back, looking at Mattsun with teary eyes and a sad smile. A warm hand reaches up, cupping his cheek as his thumb brushes away the falling tears and Mattsun’s other hand rests on Makki’s lower back. He hates seeing his partner like this, it reminds him too much of how he was before they were officially together and all he could do was try to keep his mind off things while Makki was with him.

“I don’t like feeling this way, Issei.” His bottom lip trembles, fresh tears falling down his cheeks, “but why couldn’t he tell me? Am I that untrustworthy? I know I joke around a lot, but I know when to be serious.”

“I don’t think it had anything to do with you, babe.” Mattsun brushes back pink locks from Makki’s face, his heart breaks a little when red-lined golden brown eyes look into his. “Want to hear what I think?”

Makki sniffles as he nods, placing his face back into his neck, wrapping his arms tighter around Mattsun’s broad shoulders, taking in his warmth. In all honesty, Matsukawa could start quoting his favorite movie and it would comfort him because there’s something about his voice that effortlessly eases Makki. A faint smile crosses his lips as he feels a warm hand rubbing circles on his upper back, another hand still firmly placed on his lower back, holding Hanamaki tighter to his chest.

“I think you are very trustworthy and that Oikawa knows that too. To me, it seems there’s a lot more to it than that.”

“What do you mean?” Makki nuzzles his nose against his shoulder.

“One of my coworkers is a bonded Omega and she acts completely different than Oikawa was tonight. He was a lot more anxious than I’ve ever seen him being, almost like he was scared.”

“Maybe it was because his Alpha wasn’t there. I’ve heard that Omegas tend to be more sensitive the first year they’re marked when their mate isn’t around them. Plus, it’s safe to say his Alpha is still in Argentina, right?” Hanamaki sits up, tilting his head to the side as he takes in the worried expression on his partner’s face.

“Maybe.” He presses a kiss to the tip of Makki’s nose, smiling softly when a light blush covers the tops of his cheeks. “I think Oikawa is dealing with more than he’s ready to talk about, but I’m certain when he’s ready to talk about it, he’ll know you are there for him.”

** “What are you doing out here?” Matsukawa squints at the clock on the living room wall: 2:38AM, curious as to why his boyfriend is awake so early.

Makki is curled up on the couch, TV too low to really be heard, “I didn’t want to wake you up since I couldn’t fall back asleep.”

Matsukawa flops down on the couch next to him, patting his lap which Makki instantly lays his head on, grinning when he feels fingers raking through his pink hair. “What’s on your mind?”

“Just a few things, but mostly who the Alpha is.” He looks when Mattsun doesn’t immediately say anything, “he didn’t say, but there’s only so many that he was around.”

“We can both agree if it was Santiago, he’d be here with him.”

“Then that leaves…him.” Makki refuses to hide his disgust, going as far to not even say his name as if it was a curse. “If so, the only thing we can do is be supportive for Oikawa’s sake. He didn’t look too good tonight, but that could’ve been nerves.” Mattsun doesn’t mention the pills he saw the Omega taking when he assumed neither Beta was paying attention, clearly Makki didn’t notice or he’d have brought it up by now.

“What about Iwa? Think he’ll be okay?” Matsukawa lets out a curious hum, that was a question he had been wondering himself since Iwa abruptly left the bar earlier. “I think that he’s going to need our support too. I can’t imagine what he’s going through or how he feels.”

“Like the air’s been knocked out of his lungs and the ground is crumbling underneath him.” Hanamaki mumbles, hating the old memories that are threatening to surface, to overwhelm him with the awful feelings he felt years ago. He’s not that Beta that wishes to be an Omega, to feel pheromones, or get marked by an Alpha anymore. Part of him knows that Issei knows that too, but then another part of him hates thinking that his past can still hurt his partner.

“Then it’ll be important that he knows he has us, right?” Issei grabs Takahiro’s hand, running his thumb across the silver band on his left ring finger, not needing to say anything more. Makki knows how to read between his boyfriend’s words, how to pick up on the words he says through his small gestures and that comforts the Beta more than anything else ever could.

*                      * Tokyo, Japan –  December 5, 2021, Sunday

Iwaizumi is awake, but he doesn’t want to be. He feels hungover, despite only having had a beer and a half, wondering if this was an emotional hangover. Last night’s news really had taken a toll on the Alpha, a tidal wave of emotions crashed into him, leaving him gasping for air as he frantically tried to get his head out of the water.

His head is still pounding when he finally lifts it off his pillow, mentally coaching himself to finally crawl out of bed. The flooring is cold on the bottom of his feet as he pads his way towards the kitchen, mindlessly grabbing a mug from the cabinet as his hip rests against the side of the counter. A reminder notification lights up his phone, dragging his attention from the mental play by play that he’s been having.

Sipping his coffee, he leans forward on the island counter as he scrolls through the messages he got after getting home. Most of them are from Matsukawa, asking if he’s okay and if he got home alright, the rest are a mix from his work group chat. There’s one from Colin, telling him about how excited Utsui had been about Ushijima spending his winter holiday break in California with him and just making sure Iwaizumi is doing okay.

He snorts at the message, finishing off his coffee before his mind wanders back to the Olympics, remembering the dark-haired Alpha that was with Oikawa when he had tried to talk to him. Iwaizumi scrunches his eyebrows together, tapping on his phone’s screen until he’s pulled up Oikawa’s Olympic team roster.

This is dumb, Hajime. Honestly, what are you doing?

Iwaizumi can’t, for the life of him, recall what name he saw on the back of that Alpha’s jersey, all he really had to go off was that he could remember it had a single digit number on it. There’s slight hesitation in the way his thumb lingers just above the screen, unsure of if it’s worth it. Does he honestly need to know? What would it change? Would knowing help him feel better? Probably not.

Santiago Pellegrini. Number 9. 6’2 (187.96cm). 175lb (79.3kg). Libero.

“Pellegrini. Yeah, no way I’d have remembered that.” Iwaizumi mutters, staring at the generic roster picture; the Alpha’s brownish black hair and tanned skin pops against the basic white background he’s standing in front of. He zooms in the best that he can on his phone, trying to get a better look and of course, he’s attractive. Iwaizumi doesn’t really look at other Alphas in that way, but it’s not unheard of for Alphas to all be good-looking and begrudgingly, he gives credit where credit is due.

It’s not lost on him why Oikawa would pick Santiago. Other than his conventional looks, the Alpha seems to be pretty successful, being on a professional team and all. There’s also Iwaizumi’s knowledge that Oikawa isn’t superficial enough to only go for looks and money, so there has to be something great about him. That thought alone didn’t help Iwa at all, forcing the Alpha to wonder if 11AM on a Sunday was too early to start drinking.

His phone vibrates, email notification from some website he can’t remember giving his email to and really needs to unsubscribe to. After getting rid of the notification, he catches a glimpse of a social media app he really never uses. It had gotten big between his last year of junior high and first year of high school, Oikawa had been the one to pressure him into making an account. Iwa never really got the point of just posting an array of pictures with overly thought out captions, but the picture taking lover Oikawa did.

Does he even still use it? He’s probably too busy to post, but checking couldn’t hurt, right?

He shoves all reason from his mind, quickly typing in Oikawa’s name only to find several accounts ranging from simple fan accounts to obviously fake accounts, then he comes across his official one that’s mostly just promotional posts like many pro athletes have. Iwaizumi decides to go to his followers, hoping to find his old account and thankfully he does.

Prettiestsetter_94. Such an idiot.

Much to his surprise, it seems the Omega still uses the account and based on the nature of the pictures, it’s probably his private personal account. He had learned lots of athletes tend to have them, having heard Hinata and Atsumu talk about it during the Olympics. His most recent picture is from a few days ago, an image of some photo album with the caption: “We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone - Katie Thurmes”.

His eyes scan through the rows before seeing one of Oikawa with three other people, he recognizes their faces having seen them just minutes ago while he was looking through the team roster. He scrolls through the pictures, the posts had four pictures in total and he stops at the last one. It’s just Oikawa and Santiago, mentally he acknowledges that they do make a nice looking couple, but then he carefully zooms into the picture, not wanting to accidentally like it, noticing the expression on Santiago’s face. It’s a look Iwaizumi knows well, one he knows he’s made himself, the kind of look made when looking at the person you love the most, the one who doesn’t love you in that way back. The caption read: “It’s the friends you can call at 4AM that matter'' and he wonders if Santiago ever hated the word friend just as much as he had back in high school.

*                      * Miyagi, Japan – December 24, 2021

Oikawa feels uncomfortable, like when clothes don’t feel like they sit right on your shoulders or when the fabric is suddenly itchy. There’s really nothing to talk about, his mark is the ever present elephant in the room even though he’s worn a turtleneck to cover it. His mom had called and told Emiko, with his permission, to prepare her in hopes that their first Christmas together in years would be as smooth sailing as possible.

“Are we really not going to talk about it?” Emiko’s words fill the room like a brisk cold wind. Daisuke’s chair loudly scoots across the floor as he pushes away from the table, taking his empty glass to fill it with more whiskey. He's been drinking a bit more lately.

“Emiko…” Miyeko sighs softly, tilting her head as she looks at her daughter.

“Mom, this is important.” When it comes to the Omega, Emiko has always been a tad overly protective of him, going as far as always being right by his side. That was until she left for Osaka right after her graduation, coming back almost a year later with Takeru. She used to adore how Takeru looked up to him, though he guesses he’s not really much of a role model now, especially since his nephew presented as an Alpha and Oikawa didn’t do much to be admired these days.

Oikawa tugs at the turtleneck, the room feels increasingly hot and a lot smaller than it had been that morning. He gives Takeru a reassuring nod when his nephew looks at him with concern as he quickly tries to get up from the table, excusing himself and walking outside. He walks over to the bench swing his father added to the backyard, pushing back before letting his feet slide off the ground as he swings forward, pulling his legs backwards as he goes back. The creaking of the chains fills the silence around him, trying to brace himself for the storm that is Emiko.

He’s almost certain that his mother left out the key detail that makes his mark so much different than their parents’, knowing that she would completely lose her cool when she found out. He knows that she knows how serious bonding is, it had been a hot topic when her now Alpha husband came into the picture since she’s a Beta. A headache is already starting to form when that fresh but earthy scent fills his senses, body relaxing for the first time all day and he turns to the neighboring yard.

Iwa-chan?

The muddied honey fragrance captures Iwaizumi’s attention, causing him to freeze in place when his eyes find Oikawa’s. The Omega is wrapped in a sweater that’s nearly two sizes too big and Iwa takes a moment to actually look at him this time. Looking paler and smaller than the Alpha’s ever seen him look before, his stomach churns wondering how he could’ve missed any of that just a few weeks ago. There’s something about the way Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi that makes them both feel like they are the only ones in the world. Iwa cautiously waves, seeing a small but sincere smile spread across Oikawa’s lips before he tries to hide it.

Now or never, Hajime. I got this. Iwaizumi shakes off the last bit of caution as he starts walking towards the fence that divides their backyards. A bit of excitement starts to bubble in his chest when he notices Oikawa has pushed himself off the swing, making his way towards him. They both stop dead in their tracks when Emiko’s voice rips through the air, irritation coating her words.

“Where is that Alpha bastard!?!”

“Emiko, let’s talk inside.”

“No, no more putting it off. We need to talk about this now.”

“Emi…” Oikawa starts feeling lightheaded, Betas might not feel pheromones, but he can certainly feel the anger in his sister’s and the worry in the thick pheromones coming from Iwaizumi. He lets out a breath, trying to alleviate the nauseous feeling forming in his stomach.

“And you!” Her head snaps towards Iwaizumi, “You promised you’d protect him and this is what happened!”

“I –”

“Did you know?”

Oikawa starts digging through his pockets, trembling fingers trying to open the Synfranil, accidentally dropping it in his panicked state. He frantically drops to his knees, searching for the pill, feeling Iwa’s pheromones even more. He didn’t need to look up to know how concerned his expression must look.

“Did you know?” Emiko repeats, this time more aggressively as Oikawa grabs her arm, pleading for her to stop.

“Know what?” Iwaizumi swallows thickly, eyes focused on the trembling Omega. He’s never seen Emiko this upset or Oikawa so shaken as he pulled out another pill packet, trying to take whatever it was.

“That his bond is incomplete.”

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#haikyuu #haikyuu omegaverse #iwaoi omegaverse #kteabug joor #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #tw anxiety #tw alcohol #tw mention of pregrancy

[kteabug]

Chapter Ten: retrouvailles

retrouvailles: reunion you would have with someone you care deeply for but whom you have not seen in a long time 

Chapter Summary: Oikawa continues to deal with the side effects of an incomplete bond...alone. When it’s suggested he returns home to Japan, he feels lost and afraid, will that change when he meets up with his friends and how will things go when he’s brought face to face with Iwaizumi again? 

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Word Count: 6040

Chapter Warnings: Depression. Sickness. Anxiety. Feeling hopelessness. Depictions of raw emotions. Anger. Angst. Mentions of mental/emotional breakdowns. Therapy/doctor appointments. 

Rating: 18+

A/N: Oikawa’s older sister’s name is Oikawa Emiko, she’s 8 years older. - Oikawa’s overcoat look much like this one (HERE).

San Juan, Argentina – September 2021

Oikawa barely lifts his eyes to glance around the absolute mess of an apartment. Numerous empty food wrappers and plastic bottles litter not just the coffee table, but the floor, lining the outskirts of his nest. His eyes are only half opened, leaving everything in non focused lens which is normal these days since he always feels so dizzy and nauseous.

What time is it? Hell, what day is it even?

He completely ignores the knocking at his door, the muffled voices coming from the other side, already knowing who they are. It’s the same ones that always stop by everyday, plead with him to just open the door so they know he’s okay, the same three that bathe in scent neutralizer before walking up to his apartment. He hates to ignore them, they’ve been there for him through so much and he knows that they’d help him with this, but he’s in no state to ask, he can’t remember the last time he’d crawled out of his nest for anything other than to use the bathroom and get more food.

** “Shh. We don’t know if he’s sleeping or not.” Mateo glares at the Alphas who are shoving the other out of the way to get into the apartment. The Omega didn’t want to use the spare key he’d been given for emergencies, but it’s been two weeks, 14 days, since Oikawa’s left the apartment and that seemed as much of an emergency as any.

The three share a worried look, the apartment in more disarray than they thought it would be since Oikawa kept everything so neat and organized. His nest was a lot bigger than Mateo remembers it being, filled with t-shirts that he could only assume were his, what looks to be all the bedding in the apartment including pillow cases.

It’s said that in an Omega’s nest, regardless of how messy it is or why the nest is being used, there’s at least one spot that’s super tidy and that’s where the Omega will keep certain things that are special to them. For some it could be a baby blanket, a stuffed animal from a loved one, a favorite sweatshirt, anything that brings them a great deal of comfort, though no one is really sure when or how this became a thing. In Oikawa’s nest, in the upper right corner, Mateo spots a Godzilla plush that’s seen way better days, and he can’t help but think Oikawa never mentioned liking those movies.

Santiago pushes by the other when he hears retching sounds coming from down the hall, busting open the bathroom door to find a paler, thinner version of Oikawa clinging to the toilet, heaving up next to nothing when, clearly, there wasn’t anything left. The Alpha couldn’t tell if he was shivering or trembling, not that he’d prefer one to the other, before he lifted him up, carrying him bridal style to the living room.

He wants to wrap him in his pheromones, to bring warmth and joy back into his life, to see his signature smile back on his face, but he can’t and his pride can’t stand that all he can do is this, carry the Omega’s limp body to a nest that’s barely clinging onto leathery pheromones, leaving Oikawa in a state of distress. Oikawa tries to curl himself into a tight ball, lazily dragging the large comforter over him, knowing his friends probably think he’s pitiful, but it hurts to move, to breathe. Even the scent neutralizer that they’ve all clearly bathed in makes him nauseous and, no matter how hard he presses his nose into the fabric or how wishful his thinking is, there’s nothing comforting to breathe in.

“He looks bad, right? Like it’s not just me?” Pablo asks, looking around the mass amounts of junk food packages, instant ramen cups, even some take-out boxes, not the usual diet of Oikawa, who yes would indulge here and there, but his meals were always balanced.

“We can’t leave him like this...” Santiago starts to protest before his words get caught in his throat, a weird ‘ah’ sound replacing them as he recognizes the shirt the Omega has on. It was one he picked up when they were in Buenos Aires and he complained about how it shrunk when he washed it, making it super tight, but now it hung off of him, practically a size and a half too big.

Oikawa tries to push himself up, to tell them that he’s fine, feeling rotten that they are so worried over him. Just when he thinks he’s been triumphant, that he’s sitting upright, he realizes it was in his head, he’s still curled up under the thick comforter and hasn't even moved a single muscle. His mouth is dry when he opens it, throat feels like there’s cotton stuffed down it as he tries to swallow, wanting nothing more than to speak the thoughts in his head.

“Mm.” Barely opened eyes scan the blurred faces that surround him, picking up on the worried pheromones that are trying to slip out from under the neutralizers, a warm hand cups his face and the part of him that just wants to sleep wins, but not before he tries to say the only name on his mind. “...’i.”

** The bright fluorescent lights assault Oikawa’s vision as he slowly blinks open his eyes, trying to figure out where he is and who the blurry figure is leaning next to him. There’s a faint beeping sound to his left, a mixture of disinfectant and neutralizer invades his senses as he takes a deep breath; he really wants to know where exactly he is, how he got here, but he can’t find the strength to ask.

“You’re awake, thank god.” Santiago gently squeezes his right hand and the Omega slowly glances over to see the IV on his left hand.

Ah. Hospital.

“You gave us quite the scare, sir.” Oikawa glances over at the woman who just walked in, what looks like a folder in her hand as she looks at the machine behind him, “how are you feeling right now?”

“A bit better actually.” He tries to give her and Santiago a smile, but the edges of his lips barely turn up at all. Thankfully, it seems they understand.

“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to speak privately.”

Santiago excuses himself, making sure to tell Oikawa that he’ll be right outside the room if he needs him, partially wanting him to ask him to stay, but he doesn’t. He tries not to listen, tries instead to count the small marks on the floor tiles, but he can’t help it. His heart breaks when he overhears her tell Oikawa that the Synfranil doesn’t seem to be enough anymore, worried of the long-term ramifications if they increase his dose. He hears the hesitation in the doctor’s voice when bringing up the bond, gently searching for the information that wouldn’t be in his chart, but Oikawa’s voice is too low for Santi to hear. But what he does know is he saw a handwritten letter inside the Omega’s nest, paper slightly crumpled, evidence of Oikawa trying to cling to it whether for the faint pheromones or because it was the last thing he’d received from him, that simply said: You’ll never be enough.

*                      * Miyagi, Japan – August 2021

Miyeko was out the door and halfway down the driveway before Oikawa had gotten out of the taxi. She all but threw herself into his arms, tears streamed down her cheeks as her lavender scent washed over, breaking down the tough facade he tried to hold.

“Tooru, what’s wrong?” The softness in her voice forced a sob to rip through his throat, reminding them both of the last time she found him crying out here, weeks before he left home for Argentina the first time. Her brows knitted together when he leaned down, pressing his forehead to her shoulder and she caught a whiff of his pheromones, except they weren’t quite right.

“I messed up, Mom. I messed up.” He started to shake, to tremble against her, hopelessness filled her when it felt like no matter how tightly she pulled him into her, it was never close enough. He had wanted his visit after winning gold in the Olympics to be a joyous one. It’d been four years since he last came to Japan, but it was hard to find anything happy about this when the weight he’d been carrying around finally weighed him down.

A million thoughts raced through her mind, trying to keep herself from panicking and upsetting him even more, but the harder she tried to calm herself, the worse the thoughts in her mind got. She continued to scent mark him with her pheromones, finally able to calm her thoughts a bit when she felt him relax in her arms.

** Miyeko smiled to herself, remembering all the times she’d find him here when he was a young boy, eyes reddened with a snotty nose, a barely older Alpha clung to his side. She never thought she’d find him here as a grown man, curled up in the closet of his childhood room with those same reddened eyes and snotty nose. To see him so broken, so tattered, her heart shattered because, as a mother, all she wanted was to protect her children, keep them safe, but how could she do that when she didn’t know what the problem was?

“Tooru, can you tell me what happened?”

The fresh cup of tea warmed his hands as he clung to it, trying to distract himself from the anxiety that was trying to consume him. How was he supposed to tell his parents that their only son was nothing more than a pathetic disappointment? That he ruined all the future plans they had for him, destroyed the hopes and dreams he had for himself, wasted all the time, money, and effort they put into helping him achieve those same hopes and dreams?

Oikawa had always thought of himself as a strong person. At least, that was before he saw the disquiet expression on his mother’s face, felt the slight prickle of her distressed pheromones, knowing she was trying to keep from burdening him with her own worry while he was falling apart. He knew that there was no beautiful way to string together words to make this news more digestible, opting to lean his head to the right, tugging the left side of his shirt away, showcasing the disgusting sight that was his bond mark.

*                      * Various Locations– October 2021 San Juan, Argentina

“I just want to thank you again for the opportunity you gave me. I’m forever grateful.” Oikawa tries, but doesn’t have the nerve to meet the coach’s eyes, knowing that all he’s managed to do is let everyone in his life down, wringing his hands together. Mendez gave him a chance, had listened to his pleas for why he had to play in Argentina and this was how he repaid him: taking an indefinite leave of absence.

Mendez is the one that suggested it, with everything that’s happened, saying that maybe going home, taking time to rest and being around family might be the best course of action. Even though it’s the most sensible and logical approach, it doesn't make Oikawa leaving any easier because what everyone is tiptoeing around is that chances of him coming back are low. Scent neutralizers and the Synfranil aren’t working as effectively anymore, Omega pheromones are getting to be a touch too much, and days where he feels fine enough to be a functioning member of society are few and far between.

Soft smile on the Alpha’s face, he takes a deep breath before speaking, “it’s been a pleasure working with you, Tooru.”

The Omega nods a few times, tears pricking at his eyes before he excuses himself from the office and down the hall to the restroom. He locks himself in a stall, back to the closed door before slowly sliding down against it succumbing to the sobs that tear through his throat, filling the empty room, slight echoes bounce off the walls as warm tears stream down his face. He hates this, hates that his body is so overwhelmed with emotions that it physically aches, hates that he feels completely drained mentally, physically and emotionally, hates that it feels like his body is no longer his own.

** 17 days.

That’s how long it’s been since Oikawa and Mendez last talked, the decision for him to head back to Japan made final. That’s how long he had to pack up his apartment with Mateo offering to store the things he didn't have to take back now, trying to hold on to some hope that Oikawa could come back again. That’s how much time he got to spend with the three people who made his time in South America worth it. They’re his best friends and leaving them hurts almost as bad as leaving Makki and Mattsun in Japan.

Pablo and Mateo take turns giving Oikawa hugs and comforting words for his trip back home, promising they’ll send him postcards, have weekly video calls, saying that it will practically be like there’s no distance at all. But there will be, there’ll be 10,692 miles worth of distance and Oikawa isn’t sure how he’s supposed to do this without them by his side. Santiago offers to walk with him as far as he can go and the anxious Omega immediately accepts.

“Oh, uh,” the Alpha awkwardly clears his throat, “this is for you.”

Oikawa takes the medium-sized book from him, fingers gently running over the cover that has the word ‘memories’ written in a cursive script, and a smile tugs on his lips. He opens it to see handwritten messages on the inside of the cover and then it clicks that it’s a photo album: the pages filled with various pictures, some even have ticket stubs, receipts, other little tokens stuffed next to them. His eyes scan the first page before flipping to the last page, the flow of the photographs tell the story of his journey in Argentina, from the fresh off the plane with a messy haired picture Pablo snapped when he first arrived to the instant polaroid of the four of them taken last night at the dinner Mateo planned. The Omega feels a bit overwhelmed just thinking of all the pictures between those two milestones, all the emotions each memory will carry, excited and a bit scared to let himself go down memory lane.

“Thank you.” Oikawa smiles.

“It was uh...Mateo made it...” The Alpha nervously scratches the back of his neck, making the loosely strung together lie even less convincing.

“That was very un-Alpha of you.” Oikawa teases, “you, I mean Mateo, picked some really great photographs to include.”

Santiago feels his skin start to heat up from the back of his neck to the tips of his ears, “thought if you remembered the good times over the bad, you might change your mind about leaving.”

There’s a soft and understanding smile on his lips, “I still have to go.”

“Do you? Cause I can stay with you, help find the best doctors.” Desperation clings to the words hanging heavy in the short distance that barely separates them, the volume of his voice increases as his pleas continue, “there’s one in the UK that’s a specialist for bonds or wherever you want to go - Canada, Italy, the US. I’ll go too, anywhere you want. I swear it’ll be okay.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Santiago takes a deep breath, all the emotions and words he’s wanted to tell the Omega over the years weigh in his chest, turning into butterflies that flutter against his ribs, wanting nothing more than to spill out of his mouth. He knows it’s a lame move, putting someone on the spot with a confession, trying to pathetically cling to someone who made it clear they don’t see him in that light, but it’s different now. If not now, he wouldn’t have a chance. Japan isn’t just home to Oikawa - it’s where the Alpha that he’s hopelessly in love with is.

“Please don’t. Don’t say it.” Oikawa reaches out, grabbing his bicep tightly, trying to hold onto the them they’ve always been. “Let’s just stay like this, okay? I know it’s selfish to ask and I don’t deserve your kindness after everything...but please.”

Oikawa is an Omega that’s never played fair. Whether that’s intentional or not, Santiago doesn’t know. What he does know is that he can’t say no to him, especially when he’s wearing a face like that, one that looks so fragile, like porcelain with a barely visible crack. He can’t say no when he can feel Oikawa’s plea in the way he clings to his arm, pheromones begging him to not take something else away from him and, so, he doesn’t. The tiny bits of hope he’s held onto are extinguished, the ember-like pieces fall whimsically, flickering before the light fades out, leaving a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Lo sai, ti amerò sempre.” You know, I’ll always love you.

“Lo so.” I know.

** Miyagi, Japan

Daisuke never thought he could love anyone more than Miyeko, that there would never be anyone he would risk his life for other than his wife, but, then, he held their daughter Emiko and, then, Tooru eight years later and knew he’d sacrifice everything to protect them. A part of him wondered if his son would present as an Alpha, especially after Emiko presented as a Beta, something that wasn’t unheard of, but considered rare for an Alpha/Omega pairing. Then Tooru turned 10, presented as an Omega and Daisuke was suddenly filled with that overwhelming urge to protect him, just like he had the first time his son wrapped his tiny fingers around his much larger one.

So, when Daisuke found out that his son was returning home for an indefinite amount of time, his mind started to race, thinking that he had injured his knee again, that he had gotten hurt during a practice or a match. What he didn’t think, what he never would’ve imagined, was that it had to do with the mark he brought up a few months ago, the same one he barely said anything about, leaving his parents to try to fill in the details themselves. He feels like he’s failed, like he’s let down his son because, after all the years of swearing to protect him, he wasn’t able to.

Maybe it was because for years the Oikawas had gotten comfortable with the idea that their son would end up with the boy next door, Hajime. Maybe it was because Oikawa never let being an Omega stop him from being stubborn and headstrong. But, somewhere along the line, Daisuke got too comfortable with his son being so independent, stopped feeling like he had to worry and this had been a result of that.

** Dinner is only filled with clinking of bowls and plates being moved around the table, soft and barely audible ‘thank you’s’ linger in the space around the three and Oikawa just wants the awkward silence to be broken. He watches his dad, jaw relaxing as if he’s about to open his mouth to say something before he just scrunches his face back up, and his mother, who seems lost in thought as she’s been staring at her bowl of rice for the last several minutes.

The silence lingers over the three of them as his mother washes the dishes, as his father dries and puts them up. He watches them, just like he did when he was a kid, remembering that he once thought that’s how bonded couples looked, like there was nothing better than being with that one person, even doing such mundane tasks. Anxiety tightens around his throat, anchoring him to the chair he’s been sitting on when he hears the water shut off, inaudible mumbles between his parents, suddenly déjà vu to how things were growing up, when it was time to sit down and talk.

Miyeko sits directly in front of him, reaching across the table to grab his hands, wearing her signature motherly smile while his dad sat next to her, looking smaller than he’s ever remembered him looking. He has to tell them, to completely come clean about everything that’s happened. He has to finally put official words to their fears, but he can’t. The various emotions that have been building inside of him start to boil over, tearing him apart from the inside out, leaving him trembling as violent cries leave his lips.

“Tooru, baby, let us help you carry this. You’ve been so strong for so long, but it’s okay to take a break now.” Then the dam breaks, everything comes out. He tells them everything he kept from them over the years, all the things he thought they would be better off not knowing, not wanting to burden them with every little thing he should’ve been able to handle.

Tells them about Santiago’s crush, how he knew his feelings but selfishly pretended not to so he didn’t lose him. About how he had rushed into things with that Alpha, ignoring his friends who just wanted to help him, in hopes to forget painful past memories. How getting marked was his own fault, that it was in that short moment he ruined everything they worked to give him. Then he tells them, as his father’s face freezes and his mother starts to cry, that the mark on his neck is an incomplete bond.

*                      * Miyagi, Japan – 2000

Daisuke watched his young son finish brushing his teeth, gently pushed by him as he walked into his room. He stopped, stared at his bookshelf before picking one before climbing into his bed. Daisuke walked over, kneeling beside it, getting ready to tuck Tooru in and read whichever book he had decided on.

It was their nightly tradition, something Daisuke had decided he would do back when they found out they were pregnant with Emiko, wanting a way to spend one on one time with them. Just as his fingers touched the book, Tooru’s voice rang through the quiet, tugging the book into his chest.

“I can do it.” Tooru’s voice was full of confidence, making him sound much older than just six years old, pride swelled in Daisuke’s chest.

“Okay. But I’ll be right here, in case you need help.”

Tooru beamed a bright smile at his dad, brows furrowing as he opened the book, taking one final deep breath before he started reading the book. Tooru read on his own, but there were a few times, no matter how hard he tried to sound it out, he just couldn’t get it. At those times, all he had to do was look up at his father, who would simply nod and help him sound it out one last time, smiling when his son’s face lit up as he finally got it. Daisuke felt content, watching how comfortable his son felt to ask for help, wanting him to always feel safe and comfortable to come to him because no matter, Daisuke always wanted to be there to help pick him up whenever he stumbled.

*                      * Miyagi, Japan – November 2021

For weeks, Daisuke watches his son struggle. He watches his son juggle various doctor appointments, spend almost all of his free time curled up in his nest, and takes more pills throughout the day than Daisuke ever had in his whole life. He’s heard his son call out in the middle of the night for an Alpha that never comes, clinging to the toilet when he’s sick from the amount of pheromones he takes in during his appointments, and crying when he gets off the phone, remembering everything he’s lost.

For weeks, Daisuke has felt nothing but helpless. He’s been unable to help his son, simply trying to alleviate Tooru’s suffering by being there for whenever Tooru was ready to lean on him. But one day he finally cracks, all the anger he’s tried holding in for his son’s sake boils over and he falls apart after a late night at work.

“Where is that son of a bitch?”

“I‘m not sure.”

“I just…”

“I know.”

“What kind of Alpha…”

He slams down his glass that’s filled with Teitessa whiskey, ice hits the sides and a few drops spill out onto the table, ignoring the daggers his wife is shooting at him. She quickly tells him that he needs to calm down, that Oikawa is resting.

Down the hall through a crack door, Oikawa can hear his parents talking about him, hears his mother trying to console her husband and hears his father start to choke on his words. His heart sinks, wanting nothing more than to ease his parents' pain, to go back and prevent himself getting marked. By the time he pushes himself up and gets down the hallway, he sees his dad’s back as he walks outside through the side door, his mother giving him a small smile before excusing herself, tears in her eyes.

“Dad?”

He sniffles one last time, dragging a hand across his face to remove the tears that wet his cheeks, turning to his son with a blanket wrapped tightly around him. “Everything okay, Tooru?”

No. My body completely aches. My heart hurts. I just want to get better so you and mom don’t have to worry so much. Oikawa just nods, shuffling his feet across the small porch to plop down next to Daisuke.

No words need to be said, no need to fill the emptiness with meaningless words because right now that wouldn’t change anything. Instead they both look up at the night’s sky, both trace the same constellations with their eyes, Oikawa learned his love for the stars from his dad after all.

“The Phoenix constellation was the first one I ever showed you, remember? I told you that no matter what happens, you could always start over, but now…”

“I can do it.” Oikawa repeats those words again, this time coming out more confident before he leans his head on his dad’s shoulder, “plus you’re right here, just in case, right?”

Daisuke chuckles, wondering who was supposed to be comforting who in this whole situation, wrapping an arm around Oikawa, pulling him closer to his side before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Of course.”

*                      * Miyagi, Japan – December 2021

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to going out? I’m sure they’d understand,” Miyeko finishes drying her hands on the towel, sitting it on the counter as she turns to look at Oikawa.

Since coming home, Oikawa’s spent most of his time with doctor appointments and nesting. The strain of the long distance trip has been hell on the Omega. After a lengthy conversation, he was able to get his Synfranil dose increased. Though, the doctor made it clear that he wouldn’t increase it anymore. Once again he was asked if completing the mark was an option, hating the pity he receives when he explains why it’s not possible. But, even with the not so great moments, there were a lot of positives to look at. He’s doing much better than he was in Argentina, his primary doctor telling him it’s most likely due to being home and around his parents. His therapist even mentioned that him finally opening up about his burdens to his parents has really helped him, even if it didn’t feel that way right now.

Which is what leads him here, wrapping his dark navy blue scarf around his neck before slipping on his camel-colored overcoat, trying to keep his nerves at bay. His therapist had given him homework this week, to go out and see his friends that he’s been avoiding since coming back home, to tell them that this isn’t just a holiday visit because it was evident he felt guilty about lying to them. She told Oikawa not to push himself, but, if he felt strong enough, he could attempt to start the conversation about his current situation, that if he got to a point where he felt comfortable bringing up the why of what brought him back to Japan, for him to go for it. But, if he didn’t, they could talk about it more at his next session and that could be homework for another time.

“I feel really good today, Mom,” he gives her one of the most sincere smiles he’s given anyone in a really long time.

“You took your vitamins?” Miyeko walks over, gently fiddling with his scarf, worry tangles itself in her pheromones. She knows that he’s capable of taking care of himself, that he’s doing a lot better lately, but she’s still uncertain. “You have your supplements and suppressants, just in case?”

He pats where the inside breast pocket of his coat is, “they are right here. I’ll be fine, plus Makki and Mattsun said we’re going to a bar that usually just has Betas.”

“But Hajime…” Her words trail off.No one has been told not to bring up the Alpha, but it’s also not something that just comes up, either. A part of her felt relief when he mentioned Iwaizumi’s name in the mix of those that would be there, but another part really hated it. She doesn’t know the details of why their friendship ended, doesn’t really need to know. All she knows is that he was a source of pain for her son and she doesn’t ever want to see him like that again, especially with his current situation.

“Dr. Frye said as long as they aren’t heavy pheromones, I’ll be fine.” When Oikawa had questioned why he reacted so harshly to Santiago’s pheromones, he was told it could’ve been a variety of things, but it was mostly likely due to the intensity of them. That it might’ve been because they were heavily laced with anger, but also because of his feelings for the Omega. Due to the nature of bonding and how their pheromones mix together, it’s not uncommon for bonded pairs to react negatively to romantic interests from others. Not to mention, with the imbalance of Oikawa’s bond, the excess of Alpha pheromones, it could result in a more violent reaction, hence the times Oikawa felt like he couldn’t stand or would get physically ill.

“It’s just…”

“He can’t stay in the house forever, Mi.” Daisuke lets out a deep breath, “if he says he can do it, he can. If it gets too much, he has his medicine and, if it’s still too much, he can call us to go get him.”

** The white smoky cloud that follows his sigh brings a bit of comfort to the Omega as he walks down the sidewalk. Now that he’s just a few blocks away, he suddenly has the urge to just turn back, go home, messaging them that something came up, but he’s tired of running and he’d feel horrible leaving them after hearing the pure excitement in Makki’s voice when he agreed.

He pats the spot where his medicine is, subconsciously double checking it’s still there, a surprisingly giddy feeling starts to fill him thinking about getting to see Iwaizumi again. He had been hoping to see him again during his stay during the Olympics, but, once they were in Japan, that Alpha suddenly became more doting, spent more time with him, allowing Oikawa to feel what being bonded to an Alpha should feel like, in a way.

As far as he knew, Iwaizumi knew he would be coming and Makki didn’t say anything about him not wanting Oikawa to join, which, in a way, meant that Iwaizumi wanted to see Oikawa and that caused his cheeks to heat up. He picks up the pace he’s been walking, partially because of the coldness of the air around him, but mostly due to the excitement coming from seeing Iwaizumi again. In his opinion, it was the perfect time to finally talk, they had not one, but two buffers and, if an awkward silence fell upon them, the other two could step up.

Is it okay to call him Iwa-chan? Should I sit next to him? Or would that be too much? Is he looking forward to this, too? He glances around before pressing his nose into his shoulder, taking a deep breath hoping that the scent neutralizer keeps his messy pheromone scent covered.

He’s at the door, hand gripping the knob, taking in one finally deep breath before the jingle of a bell fills his ears and the chatter inside the building surrounds him. It doesn’t take long at all before the familiar fresh earthy scent hits him like a brick. It both relaxes and churns his stomach, feet moving on their own towards the comforting smell.

I can do this, I can do this. Just walk, Tooru. He sees the black spiky hair before noticing Makki obnoxiously waving practically his whole arm, to get Oikawa’s attention. He puts on his best smile before walking towards the booth, immediately noticing the Alpha’s eyes are glued to the table in front of him.

“Holy shit, THE Oikawa Tooru! How blessed are we to be in his presence.” Makki does a makeshift bow which doesn’t look graceful due to his tall height and the fact he’s on the inside of the booth trying to stand.

“I can’t believe you tried to come into town and not say anything.” Mattsun says, sliding over to the right side of the bench, leaving Oikawa to not only sit at the end, but directly across the table from Iwa.

Oikawa swallows thickly, pulling at the scarf he’s wearing, the entire situation starts to feel overwhelming and the Alpha pheromones coming from across the table are no help. He starts to fidget with his fingers, tangling them together only to untangle them, pulling on the ends of them, a habit he’s noticed started only after he was marked. He thought he could do it, that he could laugh and joke before confessing that he was back in Japan for good, maybe open up about being marked, but the weight of everything he has to come clean about starts to crush him.

“I uhm...didn’t want to bother anyone.” His voice is low, almost drowned out by the loud humming of conversations around them, far from the usual tone and volume the Omega usually has. Makki and Mattsun share a concerned look while Iwaizumi starts to pick at the label on his beer bottle.

“So how long are you here for? Until the new year?” Mattsun asks, gently trying to guide the conversation, knowing that it couldn’t be easy for either Oikawa or Iwaizumi to meet up like this, having heard a little about when Iwa saw him at the Olympics.

The Omega takes off his coat, somewhat folding it before sitting it between him and Mattsun, “no, uhm, I...I’m moving back home...permanently.”

“What!?!”

“Since when?”

The words said by the Betas fall on deaf ears. The only ones he hears are from Iwaizumi, who finally looks up from the table and his beer bottle, eyes staring straight through Oikawa, saying just one word. “Why?”

“It was decided a while ago. Technically, I’m on medical leave,” he quickly holds up his hands, reassuring them that he’s fine, just Omega stuff which isn’t technically a lie, but it’s not the truth either. He feels himself starting to feel hot, a mixture from being on the spot and the bar’s choice to crank the heat up due to December's cold temperatures.

“Holy…” Mattsun starts as Makki finishes, “...fuck.”

Oikawa’s eyebrows scrunch together, confusion washing over him until he sees Iwaizumi staring at him, eyes widened, looking pale somehow, as if he’s seen a ghost. The scarf in his hands starts to feel awfully heavy and, suddenly, a light breeze grazes over his mark and running away doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

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#haikyuu #haikyuu omegaverse #iwaoi omegaverse #kteabug joor #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa x iwaizumi #iwaizumi x oikawa #hq oikawa #hq iwaizumi #haikyuu iwaoi #iwaoi #tw depression #tw sickness #tw anxiety #tw hopelessness #tw raw emotions #tw anger #tw angst #tw breakdown

[kteabug]

Chapter Nine: rubatosis

rubatosis: unsettling awareness of one’s heartbeat

Chapter Summary: Oikawa is slowly learning how to live being bonded to Suzuki, but will all that be undone when he finds himself back on Japanese soil for the Olympics? Seeing Iwaizumi after nearly 10 years won’t be that hard, right?

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Word Count: 6812 (I’m sorry!)

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety. Lying. Manipulation. Suggestive encounter. Slight physical violence. Misunderstandings.

Rating: 18+

A/N: I’ve been toying with the idea of writing little ‘extras’ for this series so if you have any ideas, please feel free to leave them in the comments or send an ask. For example, I've been toying with the idea of writing something about when MatsuHana got together or maybe explore Iwa’s on and off college relationship a bit. Basically anything that could’ve been written in previous chapters but wasn’t. 

I’d like to stay away from future events or ‘what ifs’ just because I don’t want to mess with the established timeline, if that makes sense. 

San Juan, Argentina – March 2021

Marking has always been seen as a highly intimate act between two people, oftentimes an Alpha and Omega, and to some is held in a higher regard than marriage. The decision to form a bond isn’t to be taken lightly because it’s completely binding yourself to another, giving yourself to another in the rawest way possible as they do the same. However in more recent times, it’s not uncommon to meet someone who has broken their bond, has been bonded more than once. Usually when a pair bonds, they want to make sure it’s known, leaving their marks to be seen, but now marks aren’t viewed with the same rose-colored lens, many going out of their way to keep theirs covered.

Oikawa knows that marking is something serious, something to not be done in the heat of the moment (pun definitely intended), he always thought that if he ever bonded with an Alpha, it would be like the bond his parents share. He knows their relationship isn’t perfect, none ever are, but they complement each other in a way that you have to see to understand, even their pheromones blended nicely together (lavender and mahogany). Miyeko often told Oikawa how safe she felt with his father, the comfort that comes with knowing you are someone’s one and only, regardless of how far away you may be and he hates that not only is he not experiencing that, but that he’s ashamed to tell his mother about the mark.

Oikawa tries to steady himself, fear wrapping around his lungs, legs feeling heavy as he opens the door to the gym, the smell of scent neutralizer surrounds him. It’s his first time back in three weeks which is how long it’s been since his heat, since he was marked, and the main reason he stayed at home was because Coach Méndez threatened to bench him. Suzuki had also expressed the need for Oikawa to take time off, which he didn’t want to listen to, he’s still livid at the Alpha, but no one told him that an Alpha’s Voice was even harder to ignore when you were bonded to them.

He knows that his coach knows about the mark, he had overheard Suzuki mention it to him over the phone, but he doesn’t know who else knows because he hasn’t bothered to answer anyone messages or phone calls over the last several weeks other than his mother’s. He gulps, taking one final breath before walking into the locker room, wondering if it was possible for him to just slip in without a scene occurring.

It was not.

The chatter that fills the room comes to a screeching halt, his teammates all looking at him as he walks  further into the room and towards his locker, a few whispers are exchanged between the newer members, but he just keeps his head down, already feeling Santiago’s gaze. For a moment, he considers quickly changing before sprinting out of the locker room, but he knows he has to pay the piper sooner or later, hoping that they’ll go easy on him since it’s his first day back.

Once most of the players have headed into the gym, Mateo throws his arms around Oikawa, rambling off a dozen questions that are just various ways of asking if he’s okay, what happened to him, why didn’t he at least call one of them back, Oikawa can feel the outside hitter start to tremble.

“I didn’t mean to worry you all,” he looks around, dropping his eyes when he gets to Santiago. “It was just a really bad heat.”

“You were gone for almost a month! That’s a pretty big deal.” Santiago’s words come out through clenched teeth, irritation bleeding onto each word, unsure if he wants the elephant in the room to be announced or not.

“Some heats are harder than others, Santi. Cut him some slack.” Mateo starts in on the Alpha, reminding him that he’s never experienced one so he needed to chill, but he follows the shocked expression on Pablo’s face to see the dark beige bandage that’s covering the left scent gland on his neck.

There’s a mixture of worry and anger filling the room, the Omega not even wanting to turn back around to see any of their faces, afraid he’ll just find judgement and disappointment. Instead he finds curiosity covering Pablo and Mateo’s expressions, both unsure if they should congratulate him or not, neither knew proper protocol for that type of situation.

“Holy shit.” Pablo finally breaks the silence, a confused smile on his face, “that’s, uhm, a pretty big thing there, huh?”

“I didn’t know you guys had talked about...that.” Mateo says each word carefully, yeah sure it was a common thing, but he couldn’t remember Oikawa ever bringing up wanting to be marked, to be honest the fellow Omega couldn’t see the setter being bonded, it didn’t seem to fit him.

“It was brought up during my birthday trip.” It wasn’t. Oikawa waves his hand back and forth as if dismissing the topic as he lies to the three people who have always been there for him. He’s been doing that a lot lately, lying that is, to people he really shouldn’t be, but he doesn’t want to be viewed as the pathetic mess that he knows he is.

“I guess we really haven’t been able to catch up lately.” Mateo looks dejected, when Oikawa first came to Argentina, he had been the one to reach out to him. The outside hitter spoke to him every day, helped him with his Spanish, always included him and now it’s painfully obvious that the two might be in the same small room, but aren’t close at all anymore.

“Is it completed?” Santiago’s words slice through the room causing Oikawa to finally look at him, the other two exchanging a worried look when the setter’s answer isn’t an immediate one. “Holy fuck Oikawa, are you stupid?”

“Santiago! Stop it!” Mateo rushes over to Oikawa who is hunched over, the Alpha’s pheromones making him sick. Ever since he was marked, the Omega’s been extra sensitive to pheromones that belonged to anyone other than Suzuki, especially other Alpha pheromones.

Santiago shoves Pablo, who for better or worse did attempt to hold off the furious Alpha, but even as an Alpha himself, the rotting smell of Santi’s pheromones were too much to handle, letting the libero storm down the hall towards the staff offices. Oikawa, with Mateo’s help, weakly pushes himself off the floor, extremely nauseous but demands they follow the Alpha, telling them it will end badly if they don’t.

“Where is he?” Santi demands, the athletic trainer that had the misfortune of running into him, stands there frozen, “where’s that piece of trash?”

“Santi, stop!” Oikawa calls out, guilt weighing down on his shoulders, if only he hadn’t miscounted, if he hadn’t seduced Suzuki, it’s all his fault that he got marked and that it’s affecting his teammates the way it is.

Coach Mendez comes around the corner, eyebrow raised at the sight of four of his players standing around in the hallway instead of warming up in the gym, “what’s going on?” It doesn’t take much for him to pick up on Santiago’s thick and unpleasant pheromones, Oikawa practically being held up by Mateo, assuming it was due to the aggressive nature of Santi’s scent.

For a brief second, Pablo wonders if they’ve stumbled into some daytime soap opera because the timing of Suzuki showing up was almost comical. He waits, part of him hoping this was all just Sanitago’s jealousy and there was no merit to him being this livid, but Suzuki barely glances at Oikawa, who is now leaning against the wall, trembling, trying to keep his face covered but still wanting to talk Santiago down. Pablo’s unsure how Suzuki could just ignore an Omega is that state, especially since it’s the one he’s bonded to, unless...

“How could you fucking do that!?” Santiago shouts, stepping even closer to Suzuki, who seems to suddenly be interested in the scene in front of him.

“Do what?” Coach Mendez looked between Santiago and Suzuki, sure he knew how the libero felt about Oikawa, but even a one-sided love didn’t typically result in such a dramatic reaction to marking.

“It’s an incomplete bond.” Santiago closes the gap between them, the tips of his shoes nearly butting up against Suzuki’s, “did you force him you piece of shit?”

“That’s private information between Tooru and I.” The Alpha has a smug look on his face, looking Santiago up and down, smirking as the heavy pheromones get even thicker, knowing he’s pushing the right buttons.

“You didn’t mention that on the phone,” Coach Mendez sighs, marking was one thing, incomplete marking was something entirely different in every aspect.

Incomplete bonds aren’t just taboo but dangerous for whichever party is marked, especially if it’s an Omega. Typically when a bond is formed, there’s an equal amount of pheromones shared between both parties, but with an incomplete bond it’s only one person’s pheromones being imposed on another. That imbalance can cause a heap of issues, both physical and mental, including weight loss, insomnia, bouts of depression and anxiety. Imagine that feeling as a kid when you turn around and your parent was gone, or at least briefly out of sight, that fear and panic that swells in your chest, that’s how it feels all the time to someone with an incomplete bond.

“That’s why I was going to suggest the three of us meet after practice.” Suzuki uses his professional smile, though none of them fall for it, instead he’s greeted with multiple glares.

“I think we need to discuss this now.” The coach presses his ring and middle finger together on his thumb, pressing it between his eyebrows before sliding them across each eyebrow, hoping it relieves some pressure. It doesn’t, in fact he’s almost positive nothing would take the tension from his now growing headache and by the looks of Oikawa, Santiago and Suzuki, he wasn’t so sure he’d be headache free for a while. “Pablo, tell Cristian to lead practice today, please.”

“Of course.” Pablo looks over at Oikawa and Mateo, not really wanting to leave them alone, but what could he really do? He reaches out, thinking of dragging Santiago with him, but Mendez shakes his head, both knowing that wouldn’t end well.

“Santiago, I understand your feelings,” Coach Mendez puts his hands up in front of him, signaling to the irritated Alpha that he’s not a threat, admitting only soft notes of his own pheromones, “but I need you to try to calm down, all these pheromones are upsetting Oikawa and Mateo.”

Looking back over his shoulder, Santiago sees that Oikawa has slid down the wall next to him, tears streaming down his face, knees pulled up to his chest and his heart breaks. All Santiago ever wanted to do was to protect Oikawa, to keep him safe, but here he was being the source of his discomfort. He tones down his pheromones, but he can’t do much about the irritation that ripples through them because all he can see is Suzuki’s smug expression.

“Think you can stand up?” Mateo asks, voice breaking whatever had OIkawa lost in thought, blankly staring at the floor. The outside hitter pushes himself off the floor, reaching out a hand to help Oikawa, but he shakes his head, dismissing the gesture.

Oikawa digs the heels of his hands into the carpeted floor, fighting the instinct to reach out for Suzuki, the instinct that’s dying for the Alpha to comfort him. He lets out a deep breath, finally being able to breathe without overwhelming Alpha pheromones filling his lungs and he slowly pushes himself up. His knees are weak and wobbly like a newborn deer, but he bites down on his lip, refusing once again to reach out to Suzuki, instead tightly grabbing Mateo’s forearm.

** Oikawa throws his duffle bag across the room when he walks into his apartment, cursing under his breath when the bag knocks over the one and only lamp in the entire room. To say he’s pissed would be a vast understatement, the Omega is beyond irate at his situation, at Suzuki, at himself. He wants to be upset at his coach, wants to try to put some of the blame on him, but he knows Mendez doesn’t deserve any of his rage.

For an Alpha, Coach Mendez is protective of all Omegas, not just his pair, but all the ones in his life, going as far as keeping various suppressants in his office desk for emergencies or just if someone runs out before they can get more. Mendez never bats an eye when an Omega needs to take time off due to heats nor does he bench them for simply being an Omega with Omega issues. It was clear as day on the coach’s face that he feels he should’ve kept a closer eye on Suzuki rather than Santiago, even though the latter seemed to be more headstrong and stubborn.

The Omega’s never really been a fan of being alone, it’s why when he was younger he wanted to keep himself surrounded by others and while after some time in Argentina, he filled his free time with his certain teammates, but it was still a place that was just his. But now whenever he’s alone, he finds himself nesting, pheromones sending out distress signals for an Alpha that’s hardly ever around. On top of that, rarely anything is without some leathery after-note, his sweet honey fragrance snuffed out by the heavier scent. It does cross Oikawa’s mind how Iwa’s scent complimented his, it never overly dominated his own like Suzuki’s does, but he’d never mention that to the Alpha.

Bonds are meant to form safe, secure, stable attachments between the two parties involved, I give you part of me while you give me part of you, somewhere in that is something truly romantic, poetic even, but Oikawa can’t see that. All he can see is rage, is that his volleyball career is now being jeopardized because he thought he could count his pills while trying to read the subtitles on his TV show. He refuses to let this set him back, to take away everything he’s worked for because it was his hard work, his determination that got him to Argentina. He wraps his fleece blanket around him tightly, pulling his knees up and resting his forehead on them, thinking back to what his coach said.

** Oikawa sank down into one of the chairs on the opposite side of Mendez’s desk, wanting to curl up in a ball so tight that he simply disappeared. Mateo had whispered something to him before giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder, but Oikawa couldn’t tell you what he said, something about being there or something. Thankfully Coach Mendez had an automatic air freshener in his office that sprayed out scent neutralizer to make sure everyone felt comfortable there and he’s grateful for it because it’s the first time since he was in the locker room that he doesn’t feel dizzy and nauseous.

When the two Alphas walked into the office, a rush of leathery pheromones started to cloud Oikawa’s mind, a shiver ran down his spine when Suzuki lazily dragged his fingertips across the bond mark. Oikawa wanted to throw up, hated that his body instantly felt at ease and that he wanted to curl up against the Alpha’s side. Coach Mendez let out a deep sigh when he sat behind his desk, leaned back slightly in his chair before finally looking at Oikawa, a sympathetic expression on his face.

Coach Mendez tried to talk to Oikawa, to see how the Omega was holding up despite everything, but each time Suzuki spoke for him, telling the coach that Oikawa was fine, it was simply stress from the recent marking causing a few side effects. Between Suzuki’s tone and the way his hand rested on Oikawa’s wrist, all the Omega could do was submit to the Alpha despite wanting to speak for himself. It was clear that Suzuki was drawing a line between them and the coach, stating that a lot of this was personal, things that his coach didn’t need to know.

His hands felt tied, there wasn’t much comfort he could offer to Oikawa if all he had to judge the situation was Suzuki’s words, couldn’t reassure the Omega that things would work out because even as a fellow Alpha, Suzuki wasn’t really acting like one that wanted to protect the one he marked. But Mendez had never been around an incomplete bond before, his generation was still one that didn’t even consider breaking bonds after they were made, everything was different these days.

“If Oikawa continues to be that sensitive to other pheromones, I’m not sure he can remain on the starting line-up.” Mendez hated saying it, he didn’t have to look up at Oikawa to know how earth shattering that statement was to him, but it was more of a liability than anything. Not only would it cause issues for Oikawa himself, but his teammates as well as the other team and Mendez couldn’t risk that for just one player, no matter how amazing of a setter he was.

Oikawa zoned out, the only thing he could focus on was how one stupid mistake could take away everything he worked his whole life for, leaving him with absolutely nothing. The two Alphas in the room were too busy talking about him instead of to him, making decisions for him instead of with him, the coach making sure to emphasize that Oikawa needed to see a medical professional and bring him a signed note before they could even consider keeping him as starting setter. Marking was supposed to bring two people together, but all Oikawa could think of was that it just makes the Omega an Alpha’s possession and if there was ever a day he wasn’t bonded to Suzuki anymore, he’d never bond again.

*                      * San Juan, Argentina – May 2021

Oikawa leans against the kitchen counter, watching Suzuki walk back from the bathroom to sit down on the couch, not even bothering to step over his nest, instead walking through it. He wants to say something, to yell or scream even, but he’s exhausted, the two just getting back from yet another doctor’s appointment.

For the last few weeks, it’s been appointment after appointment, seeing Otolaryngologists, Geneticists, and Endocrinologists, all exclusively for Omegas, and even an OB/GYN for male Omegas. He’s been poked and prodded, had more tests done within this small window than his whole life back in Japan and he learned that just because the doctor is for an Omega, doesn’t mean that they themselves are an Omega as well. He saw this firsthand when a few doctors (one was an Alpha and the others were Betas) refused to speak directly to him instead addressing Suzuki, reinforcing that to some, he’s just property of the Alpha. Seeing Omega doctors wasn’t a cakewalk either, even after insisting Suzuki wait outside the office, they didn’t spare him from their judgemental looks as he explained his situation.

Most of them told them the same thing, the safest thing being to complete the bond during his next heat, but until then it was best for Oikawa to be around Suzuki’s pheromones as frequently as possible. Without the Alpha’s pheromones, Oikawa’s heat could become more frequent or just stop entirely and he could end up going through withdrawal symptoms from the imbalance. Unfortunately, it was beginning to look like the best thing Oikawa could do is bite Suzuki, making the Alpha his pair, something he wasn’t entirely game of, but if it meant his life could go back to being bearable, he’d do it.

“We never talked about it.” Oikawa casually mentions, closing the distance between them as he sits down on the couch next to Suzuki.

“About what?” The Alpha locks his phone, sitting it screen down on the coffee table. The gesture wasn’t anything new, in fact it seems like since the marking, Suzuki’s become more secretive about anything that doesn’t directly involve Oikawa.

“When you marked me.” For something so life altering, neither had really sat down and talked about it, it seemed to be put on the Omega to remember something that happened in the literal heat of the moment. Suzuki often opted to switch the subject, but not before reminding Oikawa that he needed him, not the other way around.

Suzuki stiffened a bit, rolling his shoulders a little, “I thought it was obvious.”

“Well, yeah, but,” Oikawa runs his fingers up and down Suzuki’s thigh, the Alpha’s composure starts to falter, biting back a groan when the Omega slides onto his lap, flicking his tongue against the Suzuki’s scent gland, lightly biting down. “I never got to mark you back.”

The sharp drag of Oikawa’s teeth on his skin pulls Suzuki out of any haziness his arousal was causing, forcefully shoving the Omega off his lap, his hip hitting the corner of the coffee table. Oikawa looks up at the Alpha, tears filling his eyes, silently pleading for clarification.

“I’m sorry,” Suzuki reaches out to touch Oikawa’s cheek, but he turns away, pissing Suzuki off, who grabs Oikawa’s cheeks tightly, forcing him to look his way. “I won’t let an Omega that calls out another Alpha’s name mark me. Be a good Omega and drop it.”

The memory that Oikawa has struggled to remember or maybe was half trying to repress, resurfaces crystal clear. He can hear his own voice clearly call out ‘Hajime’ and his face turns beet red, embarrassment floods over him. He tries to make himself as small as possible, pulling his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around them, and a few broken sobs fill the room.

He feels warmth behind him, strong arms wrap around him, a chin digging into his shoulder. “This mark will help you let go of whoever Haijima is.”

Hajime. Oikawa thinks and part of him knows Suzuki knows that too.

“And then we can complete the mark.” Suzuki gently blows on the healed mark, smiling as Oikawa shivers against him, “yes?”

*                      * Tokyo, Japan – July/August 2021

Playing in the Olympics has always been something that sat in the back of Oikawa’s mind. Standing in Ariake Arena feels unreal to him, he starts to vibrate with excitement, similar to a kid knowing a gift giving holiday is coming up.

“Still feeling okay?” Mateo asks, making sure his voice is low enough for only them to hear.

“I feel great.” Oikawa smiles, it’d been about two months now that his doctor prescribed him Synfranil, an injectable Alpha pheromone supplement, that by some miracle, was strong enough to match Suzuki’s. He was advised that this supplement was just that, a supplement not the real thing, and that it shouldn’t be viewed as a long term solution. His doctor had been hesitant to even suggest it, mainly because the primary use of the supplement is to help ease the side effects of a broken bond when one’s mate dies.

He knows that Mateo has said something to him, probably just reminding him to let him know if he started feeling bad, but he can’t focus on his teammate’s words as the team walks towards the court, his attention captivated by the filled arena. The Omega tries to suppress the wide grin on his face, he did this, he got here through his own strengths and nothing, no one, could take that from him. He brushes off the announcer making it a point to say he never went to Nationals in high school, why did that matter now, this was the Olympics, an event far better than a high school competition.

** Oikawa tries to look through the sea of red and white, hoping to catch a glance of Makki and Mattsun, the two had mentioned they’d try to make it. He feels a bit more anxious about being back in Japan than he thought he would, hoping that seeing a familiar face would help, but if they are there, he can’t see them. He’s taking a deep breath when he catches a scent that reminds him of one he’s long since memorized, one that’s woven through his childhood memories and still clung to his nightmares, one he’s tried to forget. It’s rare for two pheromone scents to be so similar, but Oikawa chalks it up as nerves, there’s no way he’d see him here because out of the two of them Oikawa was the only one who mentioned continuing after high school.

“Don’t go easy on them now, bellissimo.” Santiago winks, the nickname erasing the nervousness he had been feeling.

“Was that ever part of the plan?” Oikawa smirks at him, feeling complete confidence in his team.

** OIkawa bounces the ball on the court twice, clearing his mind, knowing how important the first serve can be, knowing he needs to set the tone of the first play. A jump serve, it comes as natural as breathing to him, body moving on its own. He tosses the ball up, foot lifting off the ground as he starts to jump when spiky black hair and tanned skin catches his eye, flooding his mind with memories.

Tiny arms tried to cling tightly to the trunk of the large maple tree that he had been told several times not to climb because no matter how many times he climbed it, he could never come back down. Despite being an Omega, he was determined to prove he didn’t need his dad to get him out of the tree, that he could do it all on his own. What he didn’t account for was scraping his knee on the way up, leaving the small brunette with a stinging pain on his left knee and alligator tears in his eyes.

He was scared, cold, and trembling, the early morning hour demanded a coat but the overly confident Omega left without one. He was 12 now, a big kid, and big kids didn't get cold, at least that’s what he told his mom the last time she scolded him for not wearing one. A twig snapping caused him to whip his head around, eyes frantically scanning the area, only to feel relief when he saw spiky black hair accompanied with an unamused expression.

As the young boy climbed the tree, the soft rays from the sun hit the Alpha’s eyes, turning the dark brown shade into one that caused Oikawa to forget how to form words. The usual dull color now mimicked the dark Teitessa whiskey that Oikawa occasionally saw in his father’s glass on holidays, the russet brown that was often bland now reddish-orange specks in them. It wasn’t until his feet touched the ground that he realized he wasn’t stuck in the maple anymore, feeling his cheeks heat up when looking back up at the Alpha, wondering if love at first sight could happen even if you already knew them.

Iwaizumi’s arms go limp, dropping down to his sides as the deafening sound of the ball dropping to the court after hitting the net rings in his ears, his mind completely going blank. On the other side of the court he sees a few Argentina players wearing expressions of concern, another teammate telling him to shake it off and Iwaizumi is confused. In all the years they played together, he never knew the Omega to have game day jitters, never knew the insanely confident, borderline cocky, athlete to let nerves distract him from winning.

“Iwaizumi-san, are you okay?”

The Alpha looks over at Kageyama, who has one brow raised, repeating his question only to receive a blank expression as an answer. Iwaizumi looks around, shaking his head as if to shake off the straight forgetful feeling he has weighing on him, similar to when you walk into a room, mind completely blanks and you forget why you even walked in there. He takes a deep breath, a touch of honey in the air, everything crashing back into him.

“Iwaizumi-san…?”

He laughs to himself, here he is 27, acting like some love struck 17 year old over seeing the object of his unrequited love, how pathetic, he thinks before waving off Kageyama’s concern. But even with throwing himself into his duties as a trainer, he can’t stop his eyes from stealing glances of the Omega, or his lips from curling into a grin at how seamless their teamwork is, or how his mind wanders back to memories he’s long forgotten.

Koi No Yokan. The feeling when first meeting someone that you will inevitably fall in love with them.

He had heard the term used several times before, usually by the group of elderly women that sit in the park by his house, once on a TV talk show that his and Oikawa’s mother walked together at his house, but it was always a term he just brushed off, not something that interested him.

He wondered, at 14, if there was any validity to the meaning because between thinking back on his memories with the Omega and stealing glances at that same Omega, he can’t help but feel it’s true. Maybe it’s because they met so young that he didn’t have the exact feeling that he’d fall for Oikawa at some point, but looking back at all those years, remembering the way he always felt drawn to the Omega, it had to be that, right?

Maybe his body knew, all of his protective actions, all the nights he slept with the window cracked so Oikawa could sneak over, the hours he spent rewatching Invasion of the Body Snatchers, maybe that was how his young mind interpreted that feeling. Because the way the sunlight reflected the golden specks in Oikawa’s brown eyes, the shade of pink that dusted his cheeks when he noticed Iwaizumi looking at him, the way he was almost incapable of wearing a poker face, how could he ever see those things and not know he’d fall head over heels with the Omega?

*                      * Oikawa takes a deep breath, heart thumping against his ribs and he’s positive it can be heard across the court, nervously pulling at the mock neck compression shirt that’s under his jersey, wanting to keep the mark concealed, glancing around to make sure Suzuki isn’t around. He’s nervous enough, not needing the demanding Alpha to make something out of nothing or bring up the mark, he wasn’t ready to tell anyone just yet.

I can do this. I can do this. Just gotta walk up and say hello. Oikawa takes another look around, seeing Iwa toying with his backpack. Maybe I’ll apologize: I’m sorry for just leaving back then.

“Hajime!”

Oikawa freezes in place, not recognizing the voice, seeing a tall blonde rushing off towards Iwaizumi, a smile on his face that the Omega’s never seen before. His shoulders drop, the scraps of confidence he managed to gather wither away, leaving him to try to understand the scene in front of him, a million questions race through his mind.

Why was that Alpha running towards Iwa? Was that the US flag on his jacket? How does he know Iwa? What was that look, that look of pure fondness, doing on Iwa’s face when he saw that blonde Alpha? Why did that Alpha call Iwa by his given name?

The more unanswerable questions that run through his mind, the bigger the distance between the two feels, leaving Oikawa depressed. He’s once again reminded just how long ten years is, how much people can change within that time frame and he realizes that maybe he’s the only one who really hasn’t changed all that much.

The Omega takes one final look at Iwaizumi who is untangling himself from the blonde’s hug, suddenly feeling like he’s catching a glimpse of an intimate moment, like he’s seeing something that he shouldn’t.

A heavy arm drapes around his shoulder, the scent of burning wood tells him who it is, “is that the Alpha, the trainer I mean?”

The tears that fall down Oikawa’s cheeks tell him that he’s right, the Alpha glances back at the trainer again, but this time their eyes lock. He knows he shouldn’t because he doesn’t know the full story, but he hates this Alpha that’s looking back at him, blames him for Oikawa’s suffering from this incomplete bond because to Santiago, if he hadn’t hurt Oikawa, he wouldn’t have looked for him in someone else and gotten tangled up with Suzuki. He picks up on the distress coming from the athletic trainer, sees the pain written on his face, but Santi can’t help but pull the Omega closer, throwing a smug smirk at the black-haired Alpha.

** Iwaizumi sighs, grabbing his personal water bottle to shove into his backpack, quickly scooping up the rolls of athletic tape he had out from when Hinata jammed his finger a few plays before the end of the game. He’s not disappointed at the loss, it’s more of a bittersweet feeling, both teams played their best, both teams had great players, but the team with the stronger six wasn’t Japan. He hates that he can’t congratulate Oikawa on such a massive victory, can’t tease him about how this would just inflate that huge head of his, hates that it makes him realize how much he misses him.

He looked over to see Oikawa lingering, taking a long drag from one of the team's water bottles before placing it back on the bench, Iwa suddenly feeling more nervous about just being in the same area as the Omega. He places a hand over his racing heart, praying it will calm down, convinced Oikawa can hear it all the way over there.

Just walk over to him, the worst he can do is ignore me. I got this, I can totally do this. Iwaizumi takes a deep breath, slinging his bag over his shoulder before taking a step towards Oikawa. I’ll just break the ice with something easy, tell him happy belated birthday, that’s neutral enough.

“Hajime!”

A blur of blonde hair crashes into him, the familiar smell of peppermint surrounds him and strangely it calms his overacting nerves. For a moment he buries his nose into the Team USA jacket, the pheromones getting sweeter and for a moment Iwa swears there’s a bushy tail wagging behind the blonde, remembering how puppy-like he is.

He quickly looks back over towards Oikawa, hoping he can ask Colin to give him a minute but he’s met with icy blue eyes, ones that shoot daggers at him, telling him to stay away. Iwa clenches his jaw when he watches the stranger pull Oikawa into his side, eyes locked on Iwa as he leans down and whispers something to the Omega. He couldn’t hear what was said, but he does get a glimpse of the warm smile and suddenly it feels like the ground splits, a deep trench now separating them.

“Col!” Ty calls out, catches the attention of both Alphas, the Omega’s face is flushed, clearly they had been looking for the blonde. “You can’t just take off like that!”

Colin tries to poke out his bottom lip, putting on his best puppy-dog look, but Ty’s been around long enough to where it doesn’t work on them. Though they can’t deny the way their heart squeezes at the sight of such an expression, Ty has always been weak to Colin.

“What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi asks, suddenly feeling a bit dumb once the quesiton leaves his lips, the team jacket the Alpha was wearing couldn’t be more obvious. He laughs when Colin does, telling him that he made the USA team for track and field, that he heard from Utsui that Iwa was the athletic trainer for Japan and rushed over to see him.

“Was that him?” Colin’s words aren’t callous, but sincere when he glances over towards where Oikawa had been not too long ago.

“Col, you shouldn’t ask about that.” Ty grabs the blonde’s arm, pulling him slightly, trying to get him to end this mini reunion.

“It’s fine,” Iwaizumi brushes off Ty’s concern, looking towards the doors that Oikawa had long walked through, leaving him behind once again, “yeah that was him.”

“You should go say something!” Colin grabs Iwaizumi’s hand as he starts walking towards the exit, Ty will probably scold him, telling him that he should focus more on himself than others, especially an ex, but he can’t. Colin isn’t doing this in a ‘if he’s happy then I can move on and be happy’ way, but more in the way that he just wants Iwa to get closure on his feelings, no one should carry the weight on unspoken emotions forever.

Iwaizumi stands firm, refusing to allow Colin to move him before yanking his arm out of the blonde’s grip, a tad too forceful. A hurt Colin looks back to him, Iwa swearing he sees droopy dog ears on Colin before he shakes his head, “there’s no room for me anymore.”

*                      * “I really think it’s best if you let it go.” Ty tries to reason with Colin for the fifth time since they ran into Iwaizumi, learning that not only had he still not confessed his feelings, but that the Omega was here for the Olympics. Ty has always accepted everything about the Alpha, all the annoying little things that make him, well him. Like the way he reads ahead in their favorite series and then gets so excited he tells Ty, spoiling it for the Omega or the way he repeatedly clicks a pen if he has one in his hand.

“But they are both here! It’s perfect!” Colin beams that overly bright smile and Ty’s reminded of the one thing that they find the most bittersweet about the Alpha: his big heart and the fact he puts everyone’s happiness ahead of his own.

Ty groans, knowing they’ve already lost to Colin, hoping that maybe, just maybe this Omega they’re looking for has already left or gone to their room. “How are you going to get them together? There’s obviously bad blood between them.”

“I’ll know when I see him.”

Ty lets out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes as they weave through the crowd of people outside the hotel before they hop into the elevator. They feel like it’s a lost cause, Ty cannot for the life of themselves think of anything Colin could say to remedy this situation, but he shouldn’t have to, it’s not his place to fix his ex’s love life.

Colin is ready to give up, having drug Ty up and down each floor of the hotel, nothing but a vague idea of what this Omega looked like when he hears something coming from the nearby vending machines. He walks over to see a fluffy haired brunette knocking his hip into the machine, muttering something about just dropping the milk bread before sobs take over.

The blonde just reacts, quickly closing the gap between them, flaring out comforting pheromones as he bumps into the machine himself, knocking the stuck item free. He squats down to collect the package when he sees the Omega stumble backwards, hands cupped tightly to his face, covering his nose as his tear stained eyes lock onto Colin’s.

“Do you need me to call someone?” The Alpha waves over Ty, worried at the sight of flushed, sweaty pale skin, panicking that he’s gone into heat. Ty starts digging through his bag, hoping to find his heat suppressants when a cracked voice tells him no.

“It’s not..” The Omega tries to speak, but is interrupted by the thick leathery pheromones that fill the hallway.

“There you are.” He pushes past Colin and Ty, pulling the brunette off the ground a bit more aggressively than Colin would’ve liked to see, but Ty pulls on his shirt, shaking his head. “Thanks for keeping Oikawa safe.”

Colin bites the inside of his cheek, hating how carelessly this Alpha was interacting with the Omega, how he was flaring out ‘warning’ pheromones towards Colin, making Ty anxious, but what pisses him off the most is how he makes sure to pull the Omega’s shirt in a way that exposes the mark. That along with the arrogant smirk on his face is enough to fly the usually calm Alpha into a fit, but then he finally recognizes the Omega’s name, a nauseous feeling churns in his stomach, wondering if that’s why Iwaizumi thought he didn’t have a place by his side anymore or if there was something else.

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#haikyuu #haikyuu omegaverse #iwaoi omegaverse #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq omegaverse #oikawa x iwaizumi #iwaizumi x oikawa #haikyuu iwaoi #hq iwaoi #omegaverse au #omega oikawa #alpha iwaizumi #kteabug joor #tw anxiety #tw lying #tw manipulation #tw suggestive encounter #tw suggestive #tw slight violence #tw misunderstandings

[kteabug]

just out of reach - m.list

Summary: Iwaizumi and Oikawa were always within arms reach of the other, but what happens when misunderstandings and unspoken emotions drive them apart? What happens when everything they thought they knew about the other ceases to be true and they are left to pick the pieces of their friendship up…alone?

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Warnings: Angst, Slow-burn, Friends to strangers, Strangers to friends, Occasional smut, Mentions of depression, manipulation, gaslighting, anxiety, toxic behaviors.

Rating: 18+                     Tag list: Open (send an ask to be added)

Word Count: 65,660 (as of latest chapter)

Updates: Irregular            Last Updated: May 22, 2022

JOOR Headcanons

JOOR Playlist

JOOR - OC profile 1

JOOR - OC profile 2

JOOR - OC profile 3

JOOR - OC profile 4

Prologue: latibule

Chapter One: habromania

Chapter Two: eccedentesiast

Chapter Three: induratize

Chapter Four: eshajōri

Chapter Five: whelve

Chapter Six: waldosia

Bonus Chapter One: nepenthe

Bonus Chapter Two: acquiesce

Chapter Seven: setsunai

Chapter Eight: anaziphilla

Chapter Eight.Five: lacuna

Chapter Nine: rubatosis

Chapter Ten: retrouvailles

Chapter Eleven: sillage

Chapter Twelve: resfeber

Chapter Thirteen: kairos

Chapter Fourteen: selcouth

Chapter Fifteen: metanoia

Chapter Sixteen: petrichor

Chapter Seventeen: natsukashii

Chapter Eighteen: ephialtes

Chapter Nineteen: sciamachy

Chapter Twenty: saudade

Epilogue: ikigai

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#haikyuu #haikyuu omegaverse #iwaoi omegaverse #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu iwaoi #hq iwaoi #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu iwaizumi #oikawa x iwaizumi #iwaizumi x oikawa #omega oikawa #alpha iwaizumi #iwaoi slow burn #haikyuu oiiwa #hq oiiwa #omegaverse au #kteabug joor

[kteabug]

Chapter 1: habromania

habromania: delusions of happiness

Chapter Summary: IwaOi’s world get bigger once they start high school. How will Oikawa handle the boundaries that Iwaizumi tries to set and will Iwaizumi take it when Oikawa starts dating?

Pairings: Alpha!Iwaizumi x Omega!Oikawa

Word Count: 4172

Chapter Warnings: Jealous. Pining. Mentions of a brief panic attack.

Series Rating: 18+                Tag list: Open (send an ask to be added)

Japan – 2009/2010

Though when they go to high school, things rapidly start to change between the two. It started off when Iwaizumi got more irritated with Oikawa’s nickname for him, saying they were too old for childish nicknames. He started telling Oikawa that he wasn’t allowed to sit with his head on his shoulder in public anymore and that he couldn’t just walk up behind him and wrap his arms around him. That he couldn’t just whine and get his way when it came to Iwa anymore.

Oikawa wasn’t sure what sparked the sudden changes until he overheard Iwaizumi talking to other Alphas. He had planned on joining them until his name came up and Oikawa stops and just listens.

“I don’t know how you do it, Iwaizumi.”

He just shrugs, “we’ve been friends since we were little.”

Friends? Only friends?

“Still, how are you ever gonna find an Omega smelling like that?” A fellow first year says.

“Someone shinier will catch his eye and I’ll be fine.” Iwa shrugs again.

The bell for class rings, preventing the conversation from going any further, but Oikawa had heard enough. He still isn’t sure what his feelings mean, but he has always thought that Iwa felt the same, that he got butterflies too. But with what he’s just heard, he can’t help but think maybe Iwa finds him more of a burden than anything else.

Someone shiner will catch his eye. Iwaizumi’s words play over and over in his mind as he walks to class. Is that how his best friend saw him? Just someone with a short attention span, moving from bright thing to bright thing like a small kid on a playground? Or did he see him as some young and immature friend? Friend. Just thinking of that word makes Oikawa feel ill and remembering how easily it slipped off Iwaizumi’s lips made him feel like crawling in a hole.

“It’s him!”

“It’s Oikawa!”

“He’s so dreamy!”

Oikawa looks around before finding a small group of mostly Omegas but a few Betas whispering and all becoming more flustered when they noticed they had his attention. He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he makes his signature peace sign causing them all the laugh and giggle before heading to class. If Iwaizumi thinks that Oikawa just goes to the newest toy in the toy box, maybe that’s how he’ll act from now on.

*                      * Iwaizumi is getting more and more irritated before he finally slams his water bottle down. If he was anywhere near Oikawa, he instantly got a headache from the obnoxious pack of fans Oikawa seems to have acquired. They followed him everywhere; to the vending machines, to his locker, to class, to lunch, to practice and all the way to the school gate when it was time to head home. The giggles and overlapping voices were all enough to drive the Alpha up a wall and what didn’t help was Oikawa’s scent.

Alphas, Betas and Omegas all have distinctive scents and the type of scent varies on the sub-gender. Iwaizumi was once told that his scent is the same as dirt after it rains, a fresh but earthy scent. Most Omegas have a sweet scent like flowers, fruits or candies, and like with everything else in life, Oikawa just has to be different.

Oikawa had a rare smell for an Omega; he smells like honey. Being rare, it came with two-sides of the same coin. Betas and other Omegas found it calming making him a central spot for comfort whereas it was highly desirable to Alphas which meant there would be a line of Alphas trying for his attention. Others with a honey scent stayed away from large crowds to decrease any issues that could arise, but Oikawa isn’t like many and is constantly the center of some group.

It drives Iwaizumi crazy with how reckless Oikawa tends to be and he’s almost positive if it wasn’t for them spending so much time together and his scent on Oikawa, there’d be more issues. Especially since these groups of fans constantly compliment and praise him making the scent he gives off even sweeter.

Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi, finally registering that he slammed his water bottle. “Is Iwa-chan okay?”

Iwa stands up, shoving his chair into the table, “I told you not to call me that.”

Through his life Iwaizumi has been used to Oikawa’s charm and how the aftermath of that charm was constant attention from others. But it was the annoying chirping of voices that flooded over his senses that drove him mad. The sounds weaseled their way into his subconscious and ate away at him. His whole life, Iwaizumi has never felt he was good enough to stand next to Oikawa, or more so that he didn’t let himself feel like he was enough.

That is practically unheard of from an Alpha; feeling that they couldn’t equally stand next to an Omega. But the thing about Oikawa is he stands in a league of his own, sub-gender status be damned. So how dare he allow himself to feel so insecure over an Omega that didn’t look in his direction. The very same Omega that only seems to care about is the attention giving Beta or Omega in front of him. At least there haven’t been any Alphas.

One day it will be an Alpha, Iwa.

He kicks the vending machine in front of him, getting a few unfriendly glances from those around him. He sighs, grabbing his drink from the machine before walking back towards the courtyard where they’d be eating lunch.

Iwaizumi watches Oikawa basking in the attention from the group that’s constantly around him. He’s in his element, the center of attention is basically Oikawa’s middle name. It’s moments like these when Iwaizumi realizes that Oikawa is just fine without him; shaking his head he walks towards the gym, the only place he actually holds Oikawa’s attention.

He’s not clueless on the fact that Oikawa will eventually meet an Alpha or two, that he’ll mate with someone, share a mark with someone; he just wishes that it would end up being him. He remembers a time when being with Oikawa was easy, when being just friends was easy, before expectations and realities blew through their world like a hurricane wrecking everything in its path. Winds came through and blew away the lines that were drawn then rain came and washed away the childish nature of hand holding, intertwined legs and stolen glances that lasted too long. Then the worst part came, the eye of the storm, allowing Iwa to safely embrace those massive changes at least until the storm returned, leaving him confused and alone.

To the large group of fans surrounding him, it looks as though he’s just smiling and being friendly, but on the inside, Oikawa is counting. He knows if there’s no one at the vending machine it takes Iwaizumi around 148 seconds to come back and if he has to wait, it’s closer to 272 seconds. Oikawa knows Iwaizumi like the back of his hand, but here he is, close to 400 seconds and there’s no Iwa-chan coming back. Panic settles in his chest, anchoring itself as it wraps around his ribs like roots because no matter how much he looks around, he can’t find him.

For as long as Oikawa can remember, Iwaizumi has never been more than two steps away from him; always within arm’s reach. The Omega has taken comfort in that over the years, getting accustomed to the Alpha always being where Oikawa needs him. Internally, he knows it’s not rational to fret, they are at school and Iwaizumi is safe. But externally, his scent is starting to heavily coat the air and space around him, his body naturally sending out a distress call.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa share a brief look, as Betas they couldn’t pick up on scents but they could see an increase in Alphas gathering around and the anxious fiddling Oikawa was doing with the bottom of his shirt. Hanamaki gets up, scanning the courtyard before he spots Iwaizumi, breaking out in a quick jog.

“Oikawa needs you.”

Iwaizumi shakes his head, “I’m sure he doesn’t. He has his fan group.”

Hanamaki suppresses an eyeroll, grabbing Iwa’s shirt, “random Alphas are starting to show up, it seems he’s upset.”

Panic coats Iwaizumi’s face as he sprints back to where Oikawa is, immediately picking up on the almost suffocating scent the Omega is letting off. He pushes pass a few people before reaching out, grabbing Oikawa’s arm as he calls out his name.

Oikawa turns around quickly, throwing his arms around Iwaizumi, the weight in his chest disappearing as he breathes in the earthy scent the Alpha has. Iwaizumi wants to pull him off, to tell him that they are at school and it’s not appropriate, but all he can do is wrap an arm around the shaking Omega.

“Iwa-chan, I got so worried! You didn’t come back in time.” Oikawa buries his face into the curve of Iwa’s next, his nose brushing the Alpha’s scent glands. Iwaizumi notes that Oikawa’s scent is starting to get back to normal now, a few of those gathered around wondering off.

“It’s almost time for class.” Iwaizumi tries to pull away but Oikawa doesn’t let him, holding him tightly. “Oi! Dumbass, let go.”

“Just a minute more, Iwa-chan,” he pulls back looking at Iwa who notices the Omega’s eyes are red from crying. “Please.”

Iwaizumi lets out a deep sigh before nodding, he knows he shouldn’t, not if he’s ever going to be able to let Oikawa go, to even let himself be happy with someone else, but this one time couldn’t hurt, right?

But he couldn’t have been more wrong, for the almost month that followed that incident, Oikawa seemed to all but cling to the Alpha. The boundaries that Iwa tried to set when they entered high school went completely out the window, Oikawa always had some part of him touching Iwa no matter where they were. If they were at lunch, his head was on his shoulder, walking home from practice, his arm was either looped with Iwa’s or their shoulders constantly brushed against the others. The only place he was safe from Oikawa was practice, but he was almost certain Oikawa would figure out a way to be clung to him there too.

“Where’s Oikawa?” Iwa asks, already irritated that the Omega is late to walk to practice.

Matsukawa shrugs, but it’s Hanamaki who points over to the courtyard. The three all look as some Omega stands in front of Oikawa, nervously shifting her weight between her feet. He flashes her his signature smile which seems to just make her even more nervous. The other three watch as she digs through her bag, pulling out a small box.

“Is that…” Matsukawa starts to ask before Hanamaki answers him, “a love confession? Yup.”

Iwaizumi stands there, not liking the way his stomach flops when he watches this girl extend both arms out, a candy box in her open palms. He starts to worry, panic even that Oikawa will accept the confession, would he? Why wouldn’t he? He swallows thickly, tightly gripping the railing in front of him, knuckles turning white. The Alpha won’t admit it, but he’d trade places with her in a heartbeat, to be able to have the courage to tell Oikawa her feelings is what Iwa’s jealous of the most.

Oikawa gives her a sympathetic smile and the other three know immediately how he’s responded, the two Betas quickly catching the relief that washes over Iwaizumi. He steps forward when the female Omega’s head drops, her shoulders shaking slightly before Oikawa wraps her in a hug. They aren’t sure what he said to her, but she quickly jerks her head up, nodding it repeatedly before she walks off.

*                      * Practice has been over for a while, but Iwaizumi is still waiting by the gym doors for Oikawa to finally come out of the locker room. For a brief moment he’s tempted to leave the Omega behind, but he knows the dumbass would probably get distracted locking up and end up practicing serves again.

“I’m ready to go, Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi shakes his head, slightly annoyed at the sing-songy way he’s said the nickname Iwa has all but demanded he stop using, but also glad that it’s something only he can have from Oikawa.

Oikawa picks up his pace until his shoulder is brushing Iwa’s, linking his arm through the Alpha’s, causing him to stumble as he pulls him closer. Iwaizumi doesn’t want to bring up the love confession he witnessed, to be fair he’d lost count on how many Oikawa had gotten this semester alone, but it felt like an elephant in the room.

“What was that, your fifth confession this week?” Iwaizumi tries to let it come off playfully, but between his scent being tangled with worry and his dry tone, it falls flat.

He nuzzles his face against Iwa’s arm, “Iwa-chan’s the only one I need.” You’re the only one I want even though I’m terrified to actually tell you that.

He wants to let those words reassure him that for some crazy reason Oikawa feels the same way about him. He wants those words to mean exactly what they sound like, to hold a deep meaning and not just some basic playful remark. But he can’t do that because he knows they are just empty words that Oikawa doesn’t realize actually hurt more than they comfort because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa can’t possibly feel the same.

“You could’ve at least given her a chance, she seems nice.” I don’t mean that, I don’t want you to do that.

“You want me to date some Omega because she seems nice?” But I don’t want her, I want you.

“Date whoever, I don’t care who.”

Oikawa snatches his arm from Iwa’s, a pissed off expression meets Iwa’s nonchalant one. “Maybe I will then.”

“What do I care?” He regrets the words as soon as he lets them slip out of his mouth, but the alternative, confessing himself just isn’t an option.

“Fine! Maybe I’ll find an Alpha that’s better than you!” He shouts, a bitter scent radiates off of him. Fuck, I didn’t mean that.

“Go ahead and try.” Don’t you know that’s my biggest fear? I know it won’t be hard for you to.

*                      * It’s just a few weeks later that Oikawa makes good on his words, well kinda. It wasn’t an Alpha, but he did finally accept the confession from a Beta. And while he smiles and takes the chocolates offered to him, something in him feels empty, even though accepting someone’s confession should make you feel full and happy.

It doesn’t take long for word to spread and before lunch, Iwaizumi has already learned that Oikawa is “off the market” as his fan group put it. He sat and listens as everyone complains about the Beta he’s chosen, how she’s not fitting for him and Iwa agrees, but simply because it’s not himself.

“Iwa-chan! I have someone for you to meet!” The Omega smiles, almost singing the words that he’s saying.

The Alpha just lets out an annoyed grunt, Hanamaki and Matsukawa offer somewhat smiles to the shy Beta that’s clinging to Oikawa’s side.

“This is Yui-chan!” He smiles as he gently pulls her to sit down next time, but it’s one of his fake smiles. She politely waves to the other three before she starts to eat her lunch, engaging in small talk with Oikawa and the Betas.

Iwaizumi mentally checks out of the conversation, not really caring where she’s from or which class she’s in. Maybe it was him feeling full of himself or the fact that he knew Oikawa better than anyone, but he already had a strong feeling that Yui wasn’t going to be around that long.

** As the weeks pass, Iwaizumi wonders if he has read the everything wrong. If Oikawa had actually been serious about finding someone better than him, even if this person was a Beta.

Yui has become a regular at their lunch table, she walks with Oikawa during breaks and meets him at his locker, she’s become a staple at their volleyball games. Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa eats up the attention that she gives him, the attention that Iwa had been giving Oikawa since they were little, the attention the Omega clearly had been overlooking.

There’s a feeling burying itself in Iwa’s chest, jealousy. Jealous that Yui gets to cling to Oikawa, jealous that she can hold his hand and kiss his cheek. Matsukawa raises an eyebrow as he watches Iwa start to shake his head, an attempt to erase the thoughts. If that’s who Oikawa’s wants, why should he care? He shouldn’t, there’s plenty of Omegas out there and people don’t stay friends forever so their friendship was bound to end, right? Iwaizumi likes to think of himself as an Alpha who isn’t all for the traditional relationship standards that are set on Alphas and Omegas. He likes to think that he’s meant to find someone that can be his equal and he knows that it’s not possible to have that with Oikawa. Oikawa is in a league of his own, even as an Omega, he has a strong presence and commands the room, Iwaizumi would fall into his shadow and as much as he tries not to let his sub-gender dictate his emotions, his Alpha nature refuses to accept that.

** “Iwaizumi-kun!”

He turns around, seeing Yui waving at him as she runs over to him and he sighs. It’s been close to three months since Oikawa accepted Yui’s confession, it’s taken longer than he’d admit but he was finally okay about the whole thing, he simply refuses to allow himself to care anymore.

He nods as she gets closer before he turns his attention back to the contents of his locker, hoping she was just passing by and felt obligated to say hello since he was Oikawa’s best friend.

“Iwaizumi-kun,” she leans her back against the locker next to his, tilting her head to the side as she tries to see his face, “you don’t like me, do you?”

He freezes, the notebook in his hand hits his foot before falling on the ground. He finally looks over at her, “huh?”

She gives him a soft smile, one he doesn’t deserve because he knows he’s been nothing but rude to her, well not outright rude, but his demeanor and attitude was icy towards her. Yui pushes off the locker, rocking on her feet, back and forth, “if I was in your position, I don’t think I’d like me either.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns away from her, squatting down to pick up the notebook.

“You like Oikawa.”

His feelings for the Omega have always been silent, unspoken, but somehow hearing them spoken so casually made the reality of the situation hurt that much more. He slowly stands up, clenching the notebook a bit too hard, the pages crinkle under his fingers.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He closes the locker, harder than he intended, the Beta flinching at the loud bang.

“I’m not going to say anything. It’s not my place to tell him your feelings.”

Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, his head hanging down, eyes staring holes into his shoes. Why did hearing her say all of this hurt? Why was she being so kind to him when he couldn’t return that kindness? How was he supposed to tell her that it wasn’t that he doesn’t like her, but he just doesn’t think she’s right for him?

“It…it’s just not that simple.”

She gives him a sweet smile, one that reminds him of how warm the sun feels on his face during the summer. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, we can’t help who we have feelings for.” She placing a comforting hand on his upper arm, “you have it the hardest, watching him fall for other people.”

He lifts his head up to speak, but Yui is already halfway down the hallway, happily waving to their fellow classmates. He presses his forehead on the locker door, letting out a deep breath, trying to calm down. Externally he seems calm, maybe even a little tired, but internally he’s a mess and a half. If he couldn’t tell Oikawa his feelings, if he chose to stay in friends only, would he be able to watch Oikawa fall in love with someone else? How long would he be able to stay by his side, helping him through heartbreaks and crushes before it just became to overbearing for the Alpha?

*                      * Those questions seem to dig deeper into him over the next several months. Shortly after Yui and Iwaizumi spoke, she ended things with Oikawa blaming it on her mother’s job transfer and the fact she was moving soon, but based on the small nod she had given him in the hallway, Iwa had a feeling she was trying to help him. Oikawa simply brushed it off and Hanamaki refused to pass up every chance to joke that Oikawa had been dumped.

For a bit, things felt like they went back to normal, just the four of them hanging out together and Oikawa found his place back by Iwaizumi’s side, even if it wasn’t in the same way it had been with Yui. For now, Iwa just wanted the Omega to need him, to depend on him. Then Oikawa got another confession and he seemed to rotate through various Betas and Omegas every few weeks.

For some reason this time it really hurts Iwaizumi to just watch Oikawa give the same kind of attention to multiple people, to see Oikawa just effortlessly switch between people when Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine looking at anyone the way he looks at Oikawa. Maybe that’s what it means to stay friends with someone you feel so deeply for? To swallow down the burning sensation to scream, to pretend that he fully supported whoever Oikawa decided to settle down with.

*                      * “Iwa-chan!” Oikawa rushes into the Alpha’s room, not bothering to knock as always.

Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, he rolls over, grabbing his spare pillow and pressing it against his ear to muffle out the energetic chatter coming from the brunette. It is Sunday, it is early, but most important it is his only day off and he just wants to sleep in. Suddenly he feels a heavy weight on his side, realizing that Oikawa is sitting on his hip.

“Iwa-chan! Wake up!” Oikawa starts bouncing, further irritating Iwa, who throws the pillow at Oikawa as he shifts underneath him, sitting up.

Iwaizumi rubs his eyes before registering that Oikawa is sitting on his lap now, the back of the Alpha’s neck starts to burn. “What do you want, Shittykawa?”

Oikawa’s eyes widen, he places a hand on his chest as he gasps, “is that any way to talk to your heart broken best friend?” “You don’t look that broken up about whatever you’re talking about.”

“I got stood up,” he pretends to sniffle but gets zero sympathy from Iwaizumi. The truth is that Oikawa cancelled the date, in fact he had ended the relationship a few days ago with Ryu, but didn’t bother to say anything.

He didn’t know how to explain it, but no matter who he dated, no matter how many relationships he got into, he just felt empty. None of them had given him that carefree and bubbly warmth that he gets around Iwa, that feeling that time both freezes and speeds up when they are together. He knows that any minute Iwaizumi will shove him off his bed, he’ll grumble about having been woken up, but he won’t make Oikawa leave. Instead Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi will get up and dressed and spend the day with him which is what he’s been wanting for months.

** Iwaizumi grabs his phone and wallet, reaching out a hand to pull Oikawa off the floor, the ever so dramatic Omega refused to get up after he was pushed to the floor. The Omega has a bounce in his step now, the two walking outside, the autumn breeze sending a chill around them.

“You haven’t done that in a while.” “Done what?” Oikawa looks up at Iwaizumi.

“Smile a real smile.”

Oikawa turns his head away quickly, blush covering his cheeks before he interlocks his arm with Iwa’s, pressing his face into the Alpha’s bicep. It was true, every smile he’s worn recent has been empty, just some shell of the gesture when the situation called for it. The smile deepens as his face stays pressed into Iwaizumi’s arm, a warmth filling his chest that even when they felt miles apart from each other, his Iwa-chan still knew him better than anyone else.

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#haikyuu #iwaoi omegaverse #haikyuu omegaverse #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu iwaoi #hq iwaoi #omegaverse au #kteabug joor #tw jealousy #tw panic attack #tw anxiety #tw pining

[kteabug]

JOOR snippet

A sneak peek at ch.12 of joor

“Are you okay?”

“Pushed myself a bit too hard.” Iwaizumi pushes his hands against his knees as he stands up, feeling embarrassed when he realizes it’s Oikawa that’s been standing there, “what’s got you out so early?”

The Omega’s eyes slowly take in the Alpha, from the running tights that show how toned his legs are to the orange ¾ zip jacket that compliments his tanned skin. His cheeks heat up, though luckily for him the cold weather disguises it, “oh, uhm…just going on a walk.”

It feels a bit awkward between them. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since Emiko’s outburst, though she did apologize to both him and Iwaizumi before returning home. Despite both their efforts, there’s no ‘how to be friends again after one of you gets half ass bonded’ manual and neither has ever been good with just simply talking to the other.

“Here.” Iwaizumi places the beanie on Oikawa’s head or at least attempts to, it was a bit hard to put a hat on someone you couldn’t even look at.

Oikawa adjusts it, tilting his head when he looks at the Alpha, “what’s this for?”

“Your ears are red.” Iwaizumi doesn’t have to look to know Oikawa has some silly grin on his face, he starts walking only to stop when he doesn’t see the Omega following him. “Thought you were going for a walk?”

He quickly closes the gap between them, “didn’t you just finish a run?”

“I’ll consider this a cool down.”

#kteabug wip #kteabug joor #iwaoi omegaverse #iwaoi

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a year ago today, I posted the prologue to ‘just out of reach’ on my other blog. I was super worried that no one would read it because to be honest, it was just an idea that I really wanted to read myself. it’s become a passion project of mine, taken over most of my desk space and notebook, stresses me out when I think there’s a plot hole, but overall I really love how it coming out. 

I’m glad that there’s people out there enjoying this series, that I see the same usernames on comments that are gushing about their thoughts and feelings each chapter. I just want to say thank you to those who read each chapter, who have followed this series because without that support, joor probably would’ve never left the word doc.

#kteabug joor #kteabug update #I really can't believe it's been a whole year #I promise my goal is to wrap up the main storyline this year #I have another series Im waiting to post when this one is over

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joor headcanons

Headcanons for my IwaOi Omegaverse AU

AN: It’s my first time writing this, so I’m learning as we go along lol

Scent Marking

An Alpha/Omega rubs up against the other to leave their scene on them. Parents typically do this with their children, but it’s also done within couples as a way to war off other potential mates/seen as a way to show possession. However, this can also be done in a platonic way.

Physical Anatomy

Regardless of A/B/O status, those born male are anatomically male and those who are born female are anatomically female.

I won’t be specifically mentioning if males can get pregnant in this series, this will be left up to the reader to imagine however you want to. Meaning if male x male characters end up having a kid, you can decide which way you want to view it as whether it be pregnancy or adoption.

Marks/Bonds

So this is the part I struggled to wrap my head around and where I feel I take leeway to manipulate it to fit the narrative of JOOR.

Complete Mark/Bond: Both Alpha and Omega mark each other, most accepted form of marking/old school, and to some it’s considered more sacred that marriage. Typically occurs in a romantic/intimate setting which is why most pairs traditionally wait until their wedding to do this form of marking, but marriage is not required.

Added 10/10/2021: When bond is created, pheromones are shared between the two individuals involved in the marking process, this allows for those marked to no longer be affected by the pheromones of others. Since pheromones are shared, those bonded will have light notes of their partners pheromones mixed with there. (I.E. an Alpha with cedar wood pheromones would have soft after notes of their Omega partner’s vanilla pheromones and vice versa.)

Incomplete Mark/Bond: in most cases, only the Omega is marked, very rare for only the Alpha to be marked in this type of scenario. Due to the one-sided nature of this type of marking, it causes an imbalance within the Omega causing separation anxiety, insecurity and deep bouts of depression. This type of marking is frowned upon, mostly because not only is it an unfinished bond, but there are several cases of the Omega not surviving.

Added 10/10/2021: Due to the nature of an incompletely bond, pheromones are only shared to the party marked which leads to the imbalance of emotions as well as pheromones. Those that have this type of bond will have a heavier amount of the Alpha/Omega that marked them pheromones mixed with their scent, sometimes overpowering their own scent.

Added 10/11/2021: Some of the complications of an incomplete bond include but are not limited to: sensitivity to pheromones (especially ones of the opposite sub gender), heats/ruts become either more frequent or stop altogether, as well as weight loss.

Broken Mark/Bond: This occurs when a once bonded Alpha or Omega fully bonds with another. This is very painful to both parties, leaving a burning sensation where the original mark is located as well as getting physical sick, similar to having the flu. The original fades but it’s never fully gone, a faint scar is usually there. Since complete marking is such a traditional and sacred act, this isn’t looked at highly, however broken marks seem to be more modern. The previous Alpha/Omega can mark another afterwards, however they cannot remark with the previous mate. It’s rare, but there have been cases where typically the Omega of a broken mark, doesn’t survive.

In the case of a bonded mate dying, via natural causes/incident/etc, the surviving mate does feel pain and suffer heartache, but it’s not as intense as purposefully breaking the bond since another mark isn’t being made.

ALL marking/bonds should happen consensually (both parties involved in the decision to mark/bond) regardless of the type of mark/bond being made or broken.

Other head canons

While Betas can’t pick up on the distinct scents that Alphas/Omegas give off, they can tell who is an Alpha/Omega and it’s not uncommon for Betas to flock around Omegas for comfort.

Alphas can only mate with Omegas due to the nature of knots, ruts, and heats. They are the most biologically compatible of the 3 sub-genders. Alpha and Beta pairings never work out, the incompatibility is too much for either party to feel secure and stable in the relationship.

Alpha/Alpha relationships are pretty rare, if not rarer than Omega/Omega (will be mentioned more below) due to the typical characteristics of an Alpha. Communication is definitely key since Alphas are natural leaders and having two leaders in a relationship can cause heads to clash together. Alphas also aren’t inept to handling a knot with could also cause issues during ruts. While rare, it is not impossible if both parties are up to the challenge.

Added 8/26/21: Alpha/Alpha pairing tend to be viewed as irresponsible since many believe an Alpha should settle down and start a family. Fight between the pairing can be explosive, especially if one knows which buttons to push and even more, if one of the Alphas runs a bit more hot-headed. Due to heavy criticism of this pairing, they aren’t as open publicly which also leads questions on whether Alpha/Alpha pair can mark each other.

Betas can date Omegas, though it’s difficult for them to full help during a heat, but not completely impossible. Depending on the individual nature of the Beta, an Omega can feel safe and protected by the Beta and a successful relationship is possible. Most Beta/Omega relationships work out better platonically.

Beta/Beta pairings are the most common for this sub-gender.

Omega/Omega relationships are pretty rare (as mentioned above) and just like Beta/Omega pairings, they are typically most successful as platonic relationships. Biological incompatibilities are large in this pairing, much like with Alpha/Alpha, since an Omega isn’t build to handle another’s heat. There are ways around that and just like any other “incompatible” paring, it just takes the right two people willing to make it work.

joor m.list | hq m.list

#haikyuu #iwaoi omegaverse #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa x iwaizumi #iwaizumi x oikawa #hq iwaoi #iwaoi slowburn #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu omegaverse #omegaverse au #omega oikawa #alpha iwaizumi #kteabug joor

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joor - original character four

I’m making this super late and I'm sure it may go against how people have imagined him, but I needed to clear my mind and decided to finally make Santiago!

Some details couldn’t be done in the little maker such as his hair, I’d like it a little darker but my options were black or brown and black was a tad too dark. 

Name: Santiago Pellegrini     Birthday: August 13, 1992 (first met - 21) Hair Color: Blackish brown   Eye Color: Blue Gender: Male                           Pronouns: he/him Height: 6′2 (187.96cm)          Occupation: Pro Volleyball Player (Libero)

Likes: Laughing. Having a good time. Traveling. Being around people. Dislikes: Seeing people hurt. Horror movies. Losing. Suzuki. Interpersonal Interactions: Speaks their mind.

Zodiac: Leo                           Blood Type: B Subgender: Alpha               Pheromone Scent: Burning Wood (like a campfire)

picrew

#kteabug joor #joor oc #joor santiago pellegrini

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joor IwaOi fight inspired by Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil: YES

#kteabug joor #several chapters into the future but still #it's a nice write

[kteabug]

I just made cute little picrews of what Iwa x Colin and MatsuHana’s kids would look like if they weren’t the same sub genders (and Iwa x Colin ended up together). Gotta say, super fucking cute.

Maybe I’ll upload them when the series is over as a ‘what could’ve been’ mainly because they are adorable but also because Iwa x Colin will forever be the ship I couldn’t get to stay afloat. 

#kteabug joor #I just love Colin so #I do have a potential partner for Colin #just gotta see if they'll actually meet in the main story #maybe I'll make kids for all the ships that could've been #I have baby fever can you tell?

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I’m only 422 words into chapter 10 and I’m in tears. who approved this outline? it’s too much.

#kteabug joor #also my glasses have a smudge on the len which is annoying

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*slight joor ch.9 spoilers and kinda sorta but not really ch.10 spoilers*

Comment: “They need to report what they saw to Iwaizumi!”

Me: *awkwardly whistles in slow burn* “or...or they don’t. heh.”

#kteabug joor #we are only half way through #this is the moment seatbelts need to be applied because it's about to hit the fan