#let kairi DO something for once god fucking damn

[jaces-senseless-fuckery]

Model Mishap

///A story idea I thought up and took me longer than I care to admit to write. I hope you guys like it///

"At Indigo's suggestion, she and Kairi head into the Emerald Forest for a photoshoot. Kairi then strips into a bikini and puts on a pair of cut-off blue denim shorts and starts to show off her toned body for some pictures. When Kairi takes the shorts off for some shots while she's posing on her motorcycle's seat, Indigo sits on the ground to get a good angle. Neither of them saw the Nightmare approach from behind the trees, but by the end of the day, they wouldn't complain one bit."

Word Count: 1,582

Kairi held her claymore over her shoulder with one hand, the thumb of her other in the waistband of her shorts. She made her eyes glow with electricity and she smirked confidently as Indigo snapped a picture of her as she leaned against Prowler, her motorcycle. She was wearing a simple blue bikini with a pair of very short denim shorts, and she wore her normal boots to complete her outfit. She then took her top off, exposing her nipples to the gentle breeze that flowed through the area, and she covered them with the flat of Auralash while she sat on Prowler and crossed her legs. Again, Indigo snapped a good picture of her, always a happy grin on her face. She loved seeing her girlfriend like this all the time, and loved it even more that so many people most likely took pleasure in looking at her girlfriend in such exposing pictures.

After the last picture had been taken, Kairi sheathed her sword in the sheath on the front of Prowler and she reviewed the shots on the camera. "Damn, you got some nice shots!"

Indigo grinned. "The lighting here is perfect at this time of day with how the sunlight is filtering through the leaves. Plus any picture of your body is amazing anyway."

"You my dear fox are such a flirt when you want to be~" Kairi said and smirked once more, "Anymore shots we can do?"

"Hmmm there could be a few more with you bent over Prowler maybe, then we can pick the best ones when we get back."

"Sounds good to me!"

From there, Kairi began to do a few more poses. For one, she stood next to her motorcycle with Auralash held out to her side, her back turned to Indigo as she glanced back at the camera. When she heard the snap of the camera, she sheathed her blade in its sheath and she began to take her shorts off. She unbuttoned them and let them fall to her ankles, then she kicked them off and bent over the gas tank, her bikini bottoms barely covering her ass at all. Indigo snapped another good picture of her, and Kairi did another few poses that she thought would be good for the shoot.

Eventually, Kairi mounted her motorcycle and held onto the handlebars, and she arched her back as she bent her right leg at the knee. "Oh, hold that pose, Kai. I have the perfect position in mind for a shot of that."

Indigo sat on the ground behind Prowler and to the right a bit, and then she aimed the camera. Indigo looked through it and grinned. It absolutely was the perfect shot, and the Faunus took it. And when she noticed Kairi begin to stare back at her from under her body, she took another picture. But, the two were very distracted. Too distracted to notice a Nightmare that was approaching past the trees behind them. The large equine Grimm had heard them both and came to investigate rather than straight out attack, being an older Nightmare that it was. But when it caught sight of Kairi's ass, a switch kicked in its mind and it's cock started to become erect and grow to it's full, massive size. A wild urge filled the Grimm's mind and it quickly acted on it, and it charged out of the trees.

The girls still didn't realize it was there until it was literally right on them. Indigo watched it's shadow loom over her as it raised its front legs up and planted them across the handlebars of Prowler, and immediately forced its cock into her pussy. Her bikini bottoms snapped and the Nightmare's cock had free access to her, and Kairi let out a scream when it began to stretch her open far past what she had been before.

Kairi's eyes were wide as the Nightmare just started to fuck her cunt extremely rough, rocking her and her motorcycle back and forth. Kairi put her hands on the gas tank and tried to get a good handhold for her to do something, but the Nightmare's powerful thrusts didn't allow her to have any space for it. She continued to scream from the pain of the huge shaft that started to ruin her pussy and hammer against the entrance of her womb, and she glanced back to look at Indigo to see if she was okay.

Indigo was turned the fuck on, and the faunus had no idea how to react to that. The Nightmare had come completely out of nowhere and was now fucking her girlfriend harder than she had ever seen Kairi fucked before, and it was by a Grimm of all things. She had the perfect view to watch as the Nightmare reshaped Kairi's cunt, and she had the perfect view of its muscles moving under the skin of its legs and especially its huge balls swaying back and forth above her. Soon, her body began to react for her and she slowly slid her hand down her pants, and she started to gently rub her pussy. Her mind was slow to process what she was doing and she couldn't believe that she was finding this so hot.

"F-fuck!" Kairi exclaimed, her hands gripping the gas tank of Prowler before she looked back to see where Indigo was, and she was taken aback by the sight of her playing with herself, "Indigo! A-are you s-seriously-FUCK~!"

Kairi screamed out as a particularly harder thrust knocked her into a daze, making her lose her grip on her motorcycle. She failed to find that grip again as the Nightmare continued to fuck her cunt at a rough  and harsh pace. She couldn't believe that Indigo was getting off on her getting fucked like this by a creature of Grimm. Eventually, Kairi's screams and grunts of pain bled into moans of pleasure, and she didn't even know when the moans started or when she started to feel good from this. And that thought threw her for a loop. This monster with it's massive horse cock was making her feel good.

And Indigo was just letting it happen.

"Y-you dirty slut…" Kairi said and shook her head, biting her lip from the pleasure the Nightmare was giving her, "G-getting off on seeing m-me be ruined by a Grimm~"

"Th-this one doesn't know wh-what came over her~" Indigo replied through her moans, "Sh-she's sorry, Kai~"

"Fuck~! Fuck~! fuuuck~!" Kairi screamed loudly as she soon began to cum from the Nightmare pounding her cunt, and then she felt the tip of its cock break through the entrance to her womb and hit the deepest parts of her, "FUUUUUUCK~!"

Feeling that it's cock was deeper inside of the huntress-in-training, the Nightmare let out a devilish neighing noise and began to fuck her even harder. Indigo could see the obscene bulge in her girlfriend's stomach from the huge shaft, and gods the sight of it was just so hot. Several minutes went by as the Nightmare plowed Kairi on her motorcycle, and Indigo finally started to cum herself, her pussy squeezing around her fingers. Her moans died down moments later and she took her hand from her pants, and she started to suck her fingers clean while watching the show above her.

The Nightmare was close. Kairi could feel its cock throbbing so much inside her and it made her grip the sides of Prowler tighter. It started snorting loudly and constantly with each thrust of its powerful hips, and then it finally slammed its cock as far as it could inside of her and started to unleash its load into her. Kairi quickly felt her womb begin to flood with the Grimm's thick, hot seed and she let out a long, loud moan as it continued to fill her to the brim. Her stomach began to bloat out a few moments later and by the Nightmare was finished cumming, Kairi's stomach looked as large as a kickball.

She felt its cock start to pull out after it finished cumming, and then the tip popped from her pussy. The spunk that flooded her baby chamber pushed out following the Grimm's cock and shot out, a good amount of it hitting Indigo's stomach and chest before it just started leaking over the seat of Prowler. The Nightmare hopped off of Kairi and the motorcycle, and then Indigo watched as it walked off into the forest, leaving them alone.

Indigo laid on her back and stared up into the leaves of the tree above them, and she closed her eyes listening to the sounds of Kairi's heavy breathing and light moans. Moments ticked by as Indigo stayed on the ground until she heard some shuffling from Prowler, and a second or so later her eyes snapped open when Kairi sat on her face, her knees on either side of her head. Indigo felt the warm cum of the Nightmare ooze onto her lips and she stared up into Kairi's glowing lightning-blue eyes.

"You're gonna stay right there and eat this cum from my pussy," Kairi said to Indigo, smirking widely, "It's your punishment for being such a slut~"

Indigo was in no position to protest, and the smell of the cum was already starting to make her mind go blank. So, Indigo just did what she was compelled to do, and that was do what Kairi told her to do and start licking.

#oc #kairi aideen #indigo strife daturas #non sfw #rwby smut #grimmsmut #nightmare #nightmare grimm

[neoyi]

I don’t think I’ll ever get to humorously commentate on KH2 piece-by-piece as I tried to do for the first two games (and god knows if I’ll wrap up Re:chain of Memories with the writing method I was doing, but I digress.) I like talking about this endearingly dumb series and replaying this game is a nice opportunity to revisit how I feel now versus how I felt back when I was a fresh-out-of-high-school Neo playing this game for the first time back in 2005.

So I’m going to surmise my current play session (this collects my thoughts up to the Hercules world) with easily containable bullet points.

*I kind of want to make a separate post about the infamous prologue and discuss how people felt Back in the Days (an understatement, let me tell ya), and ultimately what I feel it does for the game and whether I personally liked it, so I'm going to leave that in the back burner for the time.

I will say Twilight Town sounds like a nice, quiet place to live. I love the concept of a city that's always perpetually sunset. It's a beautiful place and like Traverse Town, sports an amazingly cozy soundtrack.

*I'm sure there's some bullshit reason why, but I don't get why Sora's one year absence meant some of the people he's met just....forgot him. Like why? What purpose does this serve? This especially affected Kairi, but it’s ultimately negligible because she regains her memories of him during the beginning portions of the game.

Was this Namine's doing? Was it to protect Sora from the bad guys or something? Why hasn't Riku forgotten him? Was Namine just selective on who she erased Sora's existence from? Did Kairi forget just because she’s connected to Namine? Or Sora? What purpose does this narrative serve? What was the point?

*Speaking of, I forgot, did they ever explain why Riku disguised himself as Ansem? I don’t remember if they ever explained it when I played through this game, but also I haven’t touched KHII in six thousand years, so I don’t remember a lot of the more convoluted parts of the plot.

*It is comical to see Setzer of Final Fantasy VI fame turn from a risky, gambling sky pirate who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the empire, only cares for the freedom of the skies, and enduring survival’s guilt over a tragic loss of someone dear to him into a...

Whiffle Bat Champion.

*My sheer excitement and obsession when they first announced Vivi as one of the FF cameo was astronomical. I remember keeping a DeviantArt journal detailing any news and screencaps of the little guy pre-release. Still my favorite character from the whole franchise.

Even if he suffers the same fate as Donald and has a zipper on his mage hat for absolutely no reason other than this game existing during Nomura’s Belt-and-Zippers phase.

*Someone’s going to get sued one day because these damn kids keeps sitting atop the clock tower that has yet to be grafted with bars to prevent their inevitable deaths when one of them slips and falls.

*I swear I could play a six degrees of Kingdom Hearts with all the voice actors in this game. Or at least a "Whozit" and "Whatzit" they've done in other media (like Yuffie who is voiced by Mae "Katara" Whitman here. Pre-Avatar, even.)

Also I’m sorry, Will Friedle, you’re a fine voice actor, but you’re...Terry McGinnis. Batman told me he “totally owned all you lamers.”

*I love the Nobody enemy designs. The sheer creepiness and uncanny valley of them all lends credit to their existence as, well, non-existences. The Dusk enemy design alone is inspired with its unsettling belts wrapped around its fingers, or terrifyingly sharp teeth subtly hidden inside of its mouth. I can imagine the creature unzipping its mouth to reveal a set of flesh-eating teeth and the fear is real.

I love the way it flies and circles around its victim, almost like it’s trying to wrap itself around you, but I’m especially fond of that one attack where it essentially kicks you as while it sashays over to you upside down.

The Samurai Dusk also has my favorite reaction command. It’s just unspeakably badass.

*I never liked Squall in FF8 back then (don't know how I'd feel now if I ever replay FF8) and he was just okay in the first Kingdom Hearts, but I remember I really endeared myself to his reappearance in KHII. Squall in this game is what happens when he grew up, found good friends and family, and got some therapy for his issues. He’s stoic, but always a team player, and supportive of Sora and the people around him. KHII Squall is what FF8 Squall has the potential to be once he reaches adulthood and it’s nice to see that here.

*I really love the little changes the developers inputted for Sora, Kairi, and Riku's models to accommodate for their physical growth. Riku's is the most obvious (boy clearly ate his vegetables), but I like that you can tell Sora grew not just through story observations (Yen Sid points out how he outgrew his old garbs) but by comparing his height in relation to Goofy. Sora was shorter than him in the first game, but has since outgrown him in KH2.

Along with his better skill set during combat, this is a really nice way to visually shown how far Sora has come and how much time has passed.

This also goes in the opposite direction with Namine whom I think had to redo her mod when they remastered Chain of Memories for 3D. I notice she looks younger in that game than in KHII which would make sense at the time since it takes place a full year ago.

...Well, maybe. Can Nobodies age???

*Damn it, game, don’t give me a pouch containing 5,000 munny and treat it as an in-game key item that I can’t use even though munny is literally the currency I use to buy things.

*The retooling and emphasis on battle mechanics means the platforming element of the first really suffers and that’s a damn shame. I wasn’t particularly in love with exploring the Disney Worlds in the first KH, but I appreciate the effort put into so Sora could not easily get from Point A to Point B.

Even finding treasure chests is comical and if not for sake of posterity for anyone going for 100%, I wonder why Jiminy bothers to keep track of how many you find. There were literally like three out in plain view the minute I entered the Mulan world.

*Speaking of level designs, yeesh, the layout is not optimal for the skateboarding minigame.

*Trying to design a gummi ship in this game requires a masters degree in gummiology and metaphysical engineering, as well as the ability to tap into the 4th dimensional. The 45,000 page instructional manual they give you, the odd grid map used to piece together your ship (fair, the latter was also in the first game), and finicky button controller layout means it took me a while to fully grasp what I was suppose to do and I’m still not sure I got a full handle of it just yet.

*I don’t understand why Sora had to use a physical object as a conduit in each world to open up a metaphysical gate to the next world. He never had to use an in-between to close it. What’s the exception outside of unnecessary symbolic tie-in to the individual worlds he’s in?

*Props to the developers for recreating the ballroom. It’s actually kind of majestic to look at the beautiful ceiling and chandelier design from Sora’s perspective.

*There are a couple of random gameplay elements I forgot completely existed and seemingly there for arbitrary purposes. I just find it unusual that Mulan’s world forces you to collect literal manifestation of morale. It’s like the developers decided they wanted to reuse the Struggle minigames’ balls into a repurposed Morale Ball because well shit, someone programmed these things they’re damn well going to put it to good use.

I guess if Sora and pals don’t literally collect morale, all the soldiers will be, I don’t know, sad and die in battle or something.

*I’m aware Disney villains using the Heartless as their personal army is the norm, but it’s tonally weird when it’s Shan-Yu of all characters doing it. The infamous Charge-In-The-Snowy-Mountain scene doesn’t quite have the leg up in terms of threat when his army consist of adorable Heartless bumblebees.

*You know what pointless shit I am obsessed with? The stupid puzzle pieces scattered throughout the game. This is the first time I’m playing the Final Mix game and I’m just seething at the lack of abilities I currently do not have that prevents me from reaching certain pieces.

*Auron was instantaneously my favorite character when I first played FFX twenty years ago, and his return in KH2 sent me in fangirlish squeals. How could I not? Look at this handsome bastard. He’s calm, collected, badass with a cool sword, has rugged good looks (he doesn’t have it here, but he rocks some killer shades), and a good dad. That’s prime DILF quality right there. Of course I can’t get enough of him.

Square Enix knows we can’t get enough of him; dude be all “fuck off hades” and gives the god the middle fingers and fucks off elsewhere. Auron is King Shit.

*Oh man, do I still have my old Sora figurine? I think I got him in Katsucon way back in 2009.

*So who’s done a drinking game every time the game introduces Sora, Donald, and Goofy individually to every character they meet?

*Hey, so I noticed Square Enix is finally moving their asses and bringing the Ultimania books to the US. I doubt they’re going to bring the older KH Ultimanias overseas (my kingdom for an officially translated FFIX one), but ya know. I kinda think that yeah, I might want the KHIII Ultimania.

...Just saying.

*GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK! GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

GET UP ON THE HYDRA’S BACK!

#kingdom hearts #neoyi talks #kingdom hearts II

[malethirsty]

Hack: Offset

Summary: You’ve all heard about the infamous Offset ‘Hack’, now find out what caused this scandalous moment!

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap)

Working as a lucrative dancer in Atlanta, in the first ever inter gender stripping troop was no easy task. Many think that it would be easy to get up on stage & shake your ass for a living, but no, not only is rhythm a big part but you also had to contend with sleazes wanting to grab you all over, slut shamers decrying the work you were doing to earn your keep & homophobes blasting you for turning other straight men, when they didn’t recognize they were on the DL in the first place, so NO being a sex worker is not easy, it has a lot of pressure.

So when the club where you worked was booked out for Migos’s Culture Album release party, people were scrambling on all sides. Entertaining a celebrity party meant everything had to be perfect, including routines so your choreographer was working you to the bone. “What do you think they are gonna think?” Your friend Alkira asked you “Hopefully they enjoy the show, cause we’re all sweating fucking buckets trying to get it together.” “Yeah, you think Offset will bring Cardi?” You shrugged “He might, but for the sake of anyone going near her man, I hope not, we don’t need a mess her bodyguards could make.” Alkira snorted laughing “Maybe she’ll put this place on the map, maybe I’ll get a break at last!” “If she knew what’s good for her dancer team, she should. You’re one of the most dedicated here” Alkira beamed at this & walked off to get lunch. You overlooked the club, whilst it was swank, it was also tucked away in the Atlanta scene, with a fair netting of profit. Something as big as Migos having their party meant clout chasers wanting to be where Migos had traded, which would lead to a sizable profit increase. No one including yourself could afford to fuck it up.

At long last, album release party day arrived. The club full of activity as people mingled together, whereas you & the other dancers continued to rehearse your material. You heard the crowd yell from the other end & you shared a knowing look with the others: Migos had arrived. “Everyone: 5 minute warning for the stage!” Your floor manager stated, your group began to fill out & take their places on stage “Ladies & Gentleman, here to perform a Migos styled routine GENERATION THIRSTY!”

The number went so smoothly to the delight of the crowd as you all began with Motorsport which got the crowd into the set as expected, as you all squatted to twerk & turned your head to the adoring crowd, you caught a glimpse of Migos & their VIPs (Cardi among them), they were having a wade of a time watching you all perform, which only increased the performance adrenaline. As Offset’s verse began, you took front stage showing your arsenal, which really got the crowd excited, with wolf whistles sounding from nearly every part of the bar. As you began Hoop Rolling, you moved sensually to the beat, as per usual, sparing a glance out into the crowd as you went round & round. Eventually you caught sight of something that would shake the entire night up: Offset’s eyes were locked on you & he was palming his cock, the famous rapper whom was hitched to Cardi, was getting hard because of you. Like with most things that could distract a dancer, you had to pull it together and finish your part. As your verse finished & Alkira strutted up to perform her part to Cardi’s verse, you heard the crowd pop for her, which made you smile, despite what you had seen.

As the mashup turned to Quavo’s WORKIN ME & Takeoff’s Last Memory, it gave you time to regroup as you controlled yourself properly for another solo. As the last beats of Takeoff’s part began, you strutted back up to general applause to begin a brief routine to Offset’s verse on Taste. As the verse progressed you began to gyrate as the line ‘Make her get on top of me and ride me like a Harley’ sounded through the bar, you spared a quick glance to Offset, locking eyes with him. He nodded right at you as if to say ‘Yeah you’re gonna ride this dick’. You knew you weren’t supposed to be openly flirting with him in front of his wife, but something about him was so damn sexy that you couldn’t help it, eventually the verse transitioned to Bad & Boujee’ which got everyone up on their feet. As you performed to even more raunchier Offset lyrics, you glanced up again, him locking eyes with you again as he licked his lips, he was outright flirting with you, though why, you didn’t know. You didn’t realize you had been sweating until your verse ended & you thankfully moved to the back of the group.

After what seemed like an eternity, the number concluded to roarcus applause & many tips being thrown at you & the others. It was accustomed that the strippers would wait the tables as well, so when Alkira had been pulled to the side by a very enthusiastic Cardi, Migos lost their server & you finally took your chance. You crossed over expecting to see the full band but only Offset was sat down. “Anything I can get your sir?” He looked up “Food was being brought to the table when the other girl took our orders, but I’d like you to sit your ass up here, so we can talk.” He didn’t seem like the type of asshole you tried to pull a ‘Babe let’s go to the bathroom so I can get my dick sucked’ kind of man, so you rather nervously sat down.

“So how come you’re on your own?” You started, breaking the ice. “Quavo’s off dancing with his girl, Takeoff’s answering questions about the music from patrons & Cardi pulled the other girl away. It’s just us.” You listened to Offset fixed on him “Man, you still here?” He asked, waving his hand in your face “Oh, got carried away, sorry Mr. Offset” he laughed, grinning at you “My names Kiari” “Like the wrestler right?” “No that’s Kairi but close though!” Now you both were laughing.

Over the course of half an hour, the two of you delved into conversation about your lives, with you divulging a lot about your arrival on the Atlanta scene. “So Y/N” Kiari said “When did it become your interest to make married men question their marriages?” You faulted, your first interactions with Offset that evening were the topic of conversation “Um” you started but Kiari raised his finger to your lips “Shhh baby, I don’t need much of an explanation. You moved to my verses like that cause you want my dick, you saw during Motorsport that I was hard, how I gripped myself to show you daddy’s packing, I was vibing wit you babe. And then when I licked my lips at you, I was thinking how you’d taste better than my wife” Kiari leaned in, before you knew it & kissed you. His tongue slipped in and you lost all composure, his tongue swept around, you lost in it as you gave a quick moan. Kiari pulled away grinning “You taste great, I want more, I want you to fall apart on my dick, to be my private slut. Let’s get out of here, go to my private room.” It didn’t occur to you to disobey, you followed him to his limo.

As you arrived at his hotel room & went up to it, the tension between the two of you was white hot. One floor had been booked out, with a sign on one of the doors saying ‘Offset’ he keyed in & pulled you into the room. Slamming against the door, you kissed again, his big lips soft & beautiful on yours “Fuck baby! You’re gonna make me cum from a kiss!” You smirked “Then I should make you cum in my mouth first.” You sank down as he unshackled his pants & groaned as you sucked his cock “Oh yeah, that’s it, God damn! Deep throat my big black dick. Collect all that precum, taste it.” You swiped your tongue up his head, causing him to outwardly moan “Fuck, you’re head game’s incredible. I should pay you weekly to worship me!” You slid off to his confusion which turned to groans as you began to suck his balls “HOLY SHIT! Cardi never do this shit for me. It’s fucking amazing, keep going Y/N, Imma be so hard when I fuck you.”

As you continued you ran your hands over his nipples. “Oh fuck man, you wanna worship my whole body! Fuck.” All thought of his wife were out the window, this beautiful man was offering himself to you, and you were intending to take it all. “Keep sucking my dick baby boy! Oh fuck, I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” He shot his load down your throat, shot after shot you gulped down, the taste salty and sweet like chocolate. As you pulled yourself free, you looked up at him “Kiari, is it offensive to say you taste like chocolate?” He laughed, picking you up & kissing you again “Nah, not when you sucked the soul outta my dick! You’re a fucking star!” You grinned as he lead you to his bedroom.

He threw you onto the bed, soft as any bed you’d ever slept on, him falling on top of you, entrapping you in another kiss “Fuck, you made me hard again. You gon kill me man!” Kiari moaned as you looked down & saw once again, his cock was hard. “Fuck me Kiari, make me yours” you groaned out, Kiari taking the chance to tease you with his cock “Beg for it, you’re a fucking slut, tell me how much you love this supreme nigga dick!” You lent up “I don’t love it Kiari, I. WORSHIP. IT. I worship how good it was in my mouth, I worship how heavy it is, I worship all the precum it gave me & I worship the loads it shoots. So make me worship it again Kiari, give me your big black nigga dick!” This pushed Kiari over the edge, he lined up & thrust his cock into your ass causing you to arch up to him “OH FUCK YES KIARI, FUCK ME!” Kiari did so, you holding onto his braids as he fucked you hard, harder than any ho he’d had before “Oh fuck Y/N, your hole tight! Make my dick feel good.” You threw your head back meeting Kiari as he continued his hard rough pace.

You were in utter heaven being taken apart by Kiari’s dick. “Fuck, do dem stripper moves from earlier babe, when you threw your ass back like you riding my cock.” You grinned & began your routine, this time the backing track was replaced with groans from the both of you as his dick continued to fuck you. “You a bad bitch, bad bitches love daddy’s cock” “Yes they do daddy” Kiari groaned “Call me daddy again.” “Yes daddy, I love your big fat cock sir. How amazing it is, how it’s gonna make me bust soon! Fuck Daddy! Keep fucking me!” Kiari lost all composure slamming you to the bed & wrapping his hand round your neck he pounded harder than ever before.

“Yeah, you daddy’s bitch now. And daddy’s good bitch will take daddy’s cock like their life depends on it” he squeezes making you clench around his cock “Fuck yeah!” You reached your hand up to his neck, sliding your hands over his neck tattoo “Fuck, I’m close to cumming, but your your ass, my pull out games out the window! I’m clean, you?” You removed his hand from your neck as you leant up “Clean, on PREP, all of it Kiari.” He grinned “Good, cause daddy’s gonna bust all up in there!” Kiari continued for a few more moments before “Oh fuck! I’m gonna cum! OH FUCK YEAH!” His eyes & head rolled back as he came deep. You also moaned, shooting all over Kiari. Him falling onto you, hitting the bed.

“Fuck Kiari, you’re fucking amazing!” You got out, he grinned, mopping up your shot load from his chest, tasting it himself “Y/N, you taste so good. Imma have to tweet about this.” You barely paid much worry as he got his phone out & began to tweet “What if she sees?” You asked “Let her, I’ll say I was hacked or something & she’ll buy it, she feeble like that.” You laughed “Well now I need a shower to get rid of all that sweat.” Kiari pulled you up “I’ll show you it, it’s probably different than yours, I’ll show you all my colognes as well, make you fancy. Also I’ll show you how good it is to fuck ass in the shower.” You looked shocked at him “You are insatiable!” Kiari shoved you to the wall & kissed you again “Fuck yeah I am.”

Sure enough, as you awoke the next morning, the news of Offset’s ‘Hacking’ was indeed worldwide, Cardi buying right into it. As Kiari left Cardi’s room, he returned into his apartment with you. “I’m gonna have to sneak you out so she doesn’t see.” You had already spruced yourself up so you looked nice so you began to leave before Kiari called you back “I don’t want to live without your tight pussy. I want you to tour with us, be my personal dancer on stage & then after the show, I dick you down like you deserve Y/N. Here” he took your phone & gave you his number “This my private phone, text me if you interested, but after last night, I think you’re more than that.” You grinned leaning up for a last kiss for now “Show me out like a gentleman Kiari.” “Yes Y/N sir” he grinned as you both made your exit.

#Offset #Male Reader #Offset x Male Reader #Offset Smut

[jxffhxrdy]

RAW 5/19/2020

Wassup everyone. Back again with opinions that you didn’t ask for on Monday Night RAW tonight 5/19/2020. I am not related to WWE in any capacity, so what I say is not bible. 

The show in general tonight? Sucked. I’m sorry, but it really did. You’d peaked my interest with a Drew/Corbin fight, because I think Drew is the most talented big guy on RAW and Corbin is the best heel on Smackdown. But even THAT let me down. Alright, let us discuss, shall we?

♡Edge Accepts Randy Orton’s Challenge (-)

I mean, duh. God, I am so bored with this. WWE, I played your little game and allowed it with Wrestlemania, since Edge had just come back and let’s face it- I am a big ol’ fan of Adam Copeland. But this is just overworked, overdone, overpromoed, just... over everything. And calling this “the greatest match ever?” Really? In an empty arena and no fans, no pop, no nothing? Please WWE. Chill with that. It just makes me cringe. I could easily list 10 matches of both of theirs that are undoubtedly going to be better than this match. Minus.

♡Murphy vs. Humberto (-)

Jesus christ. I’m sorry, but you cannot take someone who was literally a jobber last week to trying to take on the biggest tag team on RAW. You just can’t do that. You just sent Humberto to the slaughterhouse because you wanted a hispanic wrestler to stand up for a hispanic wrestler. Let’s be real. Now, if Aleister Black had come out for a little pre-match tussle, it would’ve been more forgivable. But this was just random and boring.

♡Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Ruby Riott (-)

Honestly, forgot this match happened. CHARLOTTE FLAIR SHOULD NOT BE ON 3 SHOWS. I see so much of Charlotte Flair during the week that I literally do not care what she does anymore, because I know if she loses a match on Monday, I’ll see her fight on Wednesday and Friday again. Yes, I commend her for working like she does 3 days a week, that must be insane. But it is Charlotte City so much that all of her matches just run together. Give Rhea back the NXT belt, take her off Smackdown, and just keep her on Raw. Less is more here. Also... what is Ruby’s storyline? Redemption? Isn’t that Liv’s story? Like this match just made no sense for either character, unless they’re trying to make Charlotte seem like some tyrant and Ruby even more of a loser than she already is. Seriously, when was the last time that girl won a match? Please don’t turn even more of your female roster into jobbers for the 4HW. 

♡Whatever the Asuka thing was (?)

So it got leaked after Becky’s announcement last week that at MITB this year, we were supposed to get Nia Jax vs. Becky, with Nia taking home the belt. But with her sudden pregnancy and Nia not being the most well liked woman on the roster, they figured giving the belt to Asuka was the safest option. Which, yes, that is correct. I get Asuka and Kairi are cute lil weirdos and they play their parts well, but this was a very weird start to the Asuka/Nia feud. It was just kinda sped through and all over the place. However, I did enjoy including Kairi. I am terrified of them splitting up the Kabuki Warriors. I just don’t really know how I feel. 

♡R-Truth vs. Bobby Lashley (-)

The only positive out of this is I absolutely adore R-Truth. He is so damn funny (until he puts those damn teeth in) and I cannot wait to see how he gets Gronk. On the other end with Bobby.... I just really don’t care? I mean, 3 weeks ago, we saw the man flip a tire. Like, that was a whole segment. And if you want Bobby to seem like the biggest badass, why oh why would you put him with Truth? Why wouldn’t you have a Jinder Mahal vs. Bobby Lashley for top contender spot? That would be FAR more entertaining then watching Lashley put the beating on Truth every week. MVP is settling quite nicely into the manager position though.

♡Women’s Tag Team Championship (A BIG -)

I AM FURIOUS. ABOUT THIS MATCH. FIRST OF ALL. Fuck WWE for ending it on a DQ, because if it were a male match, it would’ve been completely fine and not mentioned. I am very very tired with womens’ wrestling in WWE being so quick to DQ. Second, why would you have an ACTUAL tag team lose to this awful combo? Put Nikki back in NXT with Sanity; you can’t deny that would bring BIG interest into NXT. Alexa... I don’t know. She has a horrible mean girl thing about her that I can’t take any of her feuds seriously because she reminds me of high school. I truthfully don’t see her in the title picture, especially not with the likes of Nia and Asuka, But you know who she would absolutely kill with? Zelina fucking Vega. Ruby, maybe? Liv even? The combo with Nikki and Alexa is just so awkward and I’m over it. The IIconics are annoying- BUT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. You can tell they are best friends and have the best chemistry in and out of the ring. They are so entertaining and a genuinely good team. Please. 

♡Shayna Bazler vs. Natalya (-)

Natalya deserves better than a year of losses. That’s all I am going to say about this match. Shayna is very talented and will do very well in the current main title picture.

♡Owens/Crews vs. Andrade/Garza (+) (MVP)

I actually liked this match! Kevin Owens is the fuckin’ man. He is so talented, he’s amazing on the mic, and honestly- he is what kept this episode afloat for me tonight. Plus getting Crews back was amazing; he is the most underused talent on the Raw roster. I enjoyed getting a taste of the Andrade/Garza tag team that’s been rumored for a while and I think once Andrade loses the belt (which is undoubtedly coming shortly), I’d love to see them do some stuff with Street Profits. Or even Mysterio/Black if we get that tag team. I would absolutely love to see Crews get that belt next week, it is time for him to. If he does get it and they’re going the McIntyre/Lashley route they seem to be going on- maybe pair Crews with Jinder? Shelton or Titus maybe? I think that would be great. A lot of potential here. MVP of the night!

♡Murphy vs. Aleister Black and randomly austin theory and seth rollins (?)

So, everyone knows I love me some Aleister Black. I think the man is insanely talented and should be in a title picture ASAP. And honestly, I’m a fan of Murphy too! I think the two of these men have great in-ring chemistry and I enjoy watching them fight. The reason this match is getting a question mark is... Austin Theory? Really? So, I know Theory was kinda brought up to give Angel Garza something to do while Andrade was out on probation, but why on God’s green earth are you going to put him with Seth and Murphy? I was hoping after the split of Zelina’s group, he would go back to NXT and maybe work with Undisputed Era or Cameron Grimes. I also know he’s not been moved from the NXT page on the WWE website to RAW yet. But if you’re planting the seed of him “following” Seth, then when are you going to make that pull official? Should they? No. Theory is not ready yet. He doesn’t have a distinct ring persona yet. Out of the three, Andrade is the cocky workhorse, Garza is the flirty ladies man, and Austin is... there. Send him back and if you want to fill your roster, pull someone who could make some good ass TV (Damien Priest with Aleister Black, thank you). 

♡Axe Throwing (+)

Scrolling on Twitter, it seems to be that a lot of people cannot stand the random competitions between the Street Profits and Viking Raiders, but honestly? I’m a fan! With the empty arena era, all of WWE’s matches are just grunts and ring slaps. Long matches become literally miserable to watch (ie. Orton vs. Edge at Wrestlemania 36). Having these random cutaways, while aren’t wrestling, is something different from the usual. And frankly, I’d rather see this than most of the other matches I sat through tonight. I don’t want to see the Street Profits lose their belts just yet, I absolutely adore them, but I think these cutaways are setting up a really fun feud. 

♡Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Baron Corbin (-)

Drew wins, fucking obviously. Did people REALLY think Corbin was going to win here? Against Drew, who is literally a tank? No ma’am, not a chance. This was kind of a throw away match just to set up the feud with Drew & Lashley... yawn. MVP is the best part of Bobby Lashley right now. I just love Drew McIntyre so much, I never want him to lose the belt ever. Bobby vs. Drew at Backlash, most likely. Whatever man. 

♡General Thoughts

~Please just never let Lana speak anymore. No promos anymore from Lana.  ~More Kevin Owens. More Aleister Black. Yes. ~Where the FUCK is Cedric Alexander and Ricochet? Please bring them back, WWE. Please stop destroying legitimately good tag teams.  ~Lana Never Speak Again 2020 campaign. 

Thanks for reading my rambles and I’ll be back on Wednesday for AEW thoughts. <3 

#wwe #wwe raw #monday night raw #raw #mythoughts

[jcmorrigan]

Stop! Hammer Time!

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) This is the longest thing I’ve written for us - it’s 12 pages in MS Word - so no one’s obligated to read it; I’m just putting it out there because I’m lovestruck and need to get this out of my system. I’m only YT-current, not VRV-current, and it’s been four episodes, so I’m well aware this ship could get sunk at any time. I’m just having fun while I can. Anyway, here’s the whole big love confession thing - there’s some contextual stuff that you just gotta Roll With and also I have lots of headcanons in play here that Word of God is probably gonna disprove (trans biroace Gio anyone?). Anyway, enjoy. Or don’t.

***

I would say the part where it all went to shit was the Fog of Lost Souls.

           To be fair, we were losing pretty badly before that. It had seemed like the perfect crime: overrun the mall. Jewelry stores galore! Expensive video game consoles! A Hot Topic for Rachel!

           As for Miss Scribere, she had done the usual, for the usual fee. A detailed floor plan, thorough reconnaissance, surveys of the entrys and exits, locations of all visible security cameras, proximity of the Hot Topic to the ideal entry point. After all, her cut was going to be enough gems to pay off her rent and also every piece of Kingdom Hearts merch in the entire boutique. (Mostly that Kairi hoodie.)

           That’s me. Miss Rachel Scribere. No, I don’t have an Epithet, least of all one to do with writing. I wish. I am a writer, however. It’s just that I’m a mundie of a writer.

           So, fast forward. I, the independent contractor who is a Banzai Blaster associate by a technicality, have brought the intel to the legit Blasters (as “legit” as the Blasters can be – seriously, there’s a reason I’m an independent contractor). We’ve thought through every obstacle that could probably have happened to us (and, thanks to one certain gorgeous boss, several that could improbably have happened). I’ve already deliberately repressed several outpourings of affection toward said gorgeous boss.

           Oh, yeah. That’s an important part of this story. The fact that Crusher isn’t the only person crushing on Giovanni Potage. Just that he’s the only person who got nicknamed after it.

           Keep your finger on that fast-forward button. So we’re in the middle of the food court, about twelve of us trying to bring out our haul, and I’ve already had about five of those moments where Giovanni and I would have to interact directly (including him wandering into the Hot Topic as my hand was hovering over that Kairi hoodie, and then I had to pretend that I wasn’t a complete and total gamer nerd and give it up until another day when I would probably pay full MSRP for it) and I would get just too flustered to say anything in return and move on over to talk to Ben or Darkstar or anybody but Crusher, really, since he was quite steamed at me for being the Romantic Rival.

           We had it all in the bag, quite literally, when the other guy showed up. With another crime syndicate. And these guys were wearing black to indicate they were really, really serious. My danger senses went off almost immediately, but Giovanni, being Giovanni, had insisted that the Banzai Blasters had first dibs on this mall, so the other guys would just have to leave.

           That was how we found out the other guy’s Epithet was “Hammer.” Whose Epithet is “Hammer,” anyway? Stupid question: this guy’s. Marcus Malleus, he was called. His syndicate didn’t have a name, because apparently naming your crime syndicate is for losers (never mind that we didn’t even pick the name). And even without the gigantic hammer of solidified aether that he hoisted like a dark Mjolnir, this man was enormous. He probably could have killed us with one blow.

           And we’ve now arrived at the place where it went to shit.

           “Whose Epithet is ‘Hammer,’ anyway?” Giovanni asked derisively. (No, I never have had an original idea in my life; why do you ask?) “What’re you gonna do? Knock us all into the ground like nails?”

           “Exactly,” Marcus said as he grinned, showing off a few broken teeth to demonstrate that he’d survived his fair share of scraps.

           “Don’t be silly!” Giovanni waved him off. “We’d never…survive…that.”

           It seemed he was the last one to realize we were in some deep shit.

           “That’s what I’m countin’ on,” Marcus said as he advanced.

           I could see that Giovanni’s knees were beginning to tremble. I wanted to run to him, to throw myself between him and the threat, but I was frozen, rooted to the spot by fear of all flavors. What a failure, failure, failure I was –

           And yet he didn’t admit to his own terror. Instead, he put up a hand and demanded, “STOP!”

           That was enough to at least distract Marcus into holding still. “What the �� “

           “I hope you’re prepared to find your way…” Giovanni had put his arms out to either side now. “THROUGH THE FOG OF LOST SOULS!”

           The steam filled the food court quickly and thoroughly. We all heard Giovanni shriek “SCATTER!”.

           So we did…as iffy as I felt about leaving him behind and fending for myself.

           Turned out that shouldn’t have been my priority at all. Turned out I couldn’t fucking see anything in the fog-bomb, which worked in our favor insofar as it meant Marcus not chasing us but had the big downside of me being unable to find my way through an unfamiliar environment.

           I ran into a fucking table.

           I screamed as I went down, hitting the tile hard. At least it was only the ordinary sort of fall. Nothing broken, nothing bruised – not even my glasses.

           That relief only lasted momentarily, because I’d been tripped up just long enough for the fog to clear and Marcus to find one and only one Blaster (or rather Blaster-adjacent) left on the field. And guess who that was?

           The moment I’d gotten to my feet, I felt the hammer’s blow.

           I was thrown all the way out of the court, hitting a wall before going down. In a panic, I made a check that I was still alive – well, duh, or I wouldn’t have been panicking. But there was pain, so much pain. Something was broken, but I couldn’t quite tell what, because my head was fucked up as well. I was pretty sure I was concussed, or on the verge of it. Consciousness became less of a black-and-white state and more like a soupy gray area where I was suspended between dreamland and knowing just how many steps away from death I was.

           In the flashes, I knew what I was dreaming about. Him. Kneeling over my prone body, hands pressed to either side of me, his voice breaking as he lamented, “Composer…no…not my beautiful, amazing Composer…he…he fucked her up…!” The hitch in his breath that indicated he was crying.

           Wait a minute.

           That wasn’t the dream half.

           I attempted to pry my eyes open to see Giovanni hovering over me, shivering with concern. Was he all blurry because I was half-dead or because my glasses had been shattered and lost? Did it matter? His cape was draping almost protectively around both of us as he wept.

           My heart skipped a few beats, even though I knew damn well he did this for all of his minions. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t a favorite. He loved all of us so much…and that’s why I loved him so specially. Because he had room in his heart for so many people. Because he didn’t have to have a crush on me to do this, to cry for me when he worried I was –

           I had better try to indicate I wasn’t actually dead.

           I pushed out a laborious groan. Things were getting clearer…sort of. I managed the words “I’m…fffffine.”

           “Then COME ON!” He seized my forearms. “We gotta get outta here! I think this guy might be having a lucky enough day to beat us today!”

           “Mmh…okay…”

           It seemed a Herculean feat to get to my feet. Thankfully, my vision wasn’t blurring in and out so much – more like normal lost-glasses blind than concussion-blind. We could still make a run for it.

           Or so I thought until I put weight on my right foot and crumpled immediately with a yelp.

           It took me a moment to realize that he’d gone down with me as I’d fallen to my knees, keeping his hands on my forearms. “Not fine,” I panted, “not fine…”

           “Then I’m gonna get you out of here.”

           It was that determination in his voice that always signified he was about to do something absolutely asinine.

           Before I could talk him out of it, he’d swept me up like a bride, one arm behind my back and the other under my knees. It would have been like a scene from a dream had I not known that Giovanni could not lift my weight, and he was doomed to fail from the start.

           We tumbled over together, screaming in two-part harmony.

           “Okayokayokay – “ Giovanni muttered as I rolled off of him, now pretty much sobbing from the pain. What all had that Malleus guy broken? “Oh! I know! I know EXACTLY how I’m getting you out of here! You’ll be patched up in no time!”

           I then felt the rim of a warm cup of liquid being pressed to my lips. Was he serious? “Is this – “

           “Just drink it, dammit!”

           I wanted to refuse, but we didn’t have time for that fight. As the health-replenishing soup coursed through me, I could feel the aches and pains disappearing, mellowing out, the throbbing and buzzing in my head subsiding.

           He’d actually done it. And I immediately wished he hadn’t.

           “Why did you DO that?” I screamed.

           “WHAT?” he barked. “Are you grossed out because it’s from my SWEAT? I would think it’s better than being DEAD!”

           “I don’t CARE about your sweat-soup, and you know it! But you can only do that once per fight! Now you can’t use it on YOU!”

           “Oh, please.” He stood to full height, and I rose with him, trying to focus on his facial features through my half-blind haze. “Like I’m gonna let this jerk best me. Trust me, that fog’s gonna keep him lost for a while, and I’m gonna – “

           I may have been half-blind, but even I could make out the shape of the hammer swinging through the fog.

           For once, my reflexes were on-point enough to carry me out of the way.

           Giovanni’s weren’t.

           I saw him sideswiped, then peeled off the floor so Marcus could hold him up by the collar; “Payback, you little bitch!”

           I could hear his whimpering. His screaming. I wanted so badly to fling myself at Marcus Malleus, to tackle him, to land my own critical hit, to save my boss, my friend, my Giovanni –

           And I turned and ran instead.

           But not without a strategy. I was half-blind, disarmed, and no good in a fight at this moment. I would just have to hope Giovanni would hold out until I’d gotten my plan in motion.

           Please.

           The other Blasters had taken refuge in a Claire’s we’d designated as our rendez-vous point should we need to scatter. I stumbled in, nearly knocking down a rotating display of earrings.

           “Where is he?” a voice called out. Crusher, of course.

           “He’s back there,” I said in a panicked rush. “The big guy has him.”

           “Why the HELL did you leave – “

           “I need you guys to run the Gazpacho Maneuver,” I declared.

           “But we’ve never practiced that before!” Car Crash argued.

           “Well, you’re gonna do it NOW,” I insisted, “or the boss is gonna get crushed.”

           By the time we got back to the food court…I’ll admit I couldn’t see a lot of the details. Just a strip of yellow lying on the floor, a shadowy mass hovering above him with an instrument held high.

           However, if the Gazpacho Maneuver went to plan, which I know it did, here’s what happened: first, Artful Dodger ran at Marcus to distract him, getting his attention only to duck every blow. (Contrary to what you’re thinking right now, he actually got his nickname from his love of Dickens. Go figure.) Then Crusher and Car Crash rushed him from either side to blindside him from two directions. During this time, Flamethrower and Sharpshooter arranged themselves around the food court in order to sharpshoot and flamethrow at Marcus, respectively, from an optimal distance – and no, I did not mix up that order. Meanwhile, Ben and Darkstar teamed up to spirit Giovanni away, carrying him away from the danger zone. On the way out, Ben tugged my sleeve, indicating I needed to go with.

           So I did, leaving the others to carry out the other thirty-six moves of the plan that would either leave Marcus incapacitated and bound on the floor or just buy them some more time before they were also smacked halfway across the mall.

           We re-convened in a JCPenney. We’d almost gone to the Claire’s, but then realized that had no bed for a patient, and had to relocate to a department store with some of those little short bed-sets that look comically small. When I was younger, I always used to think those things were perfectly kid-sized. Huh…I wondered how Molly would think about these beds, since they seemed the perfect length for her.

           How was I going to tell Molly if the closest thing she had to a dad died protecting me? Hell, Sylvie didn’t have the best relationship with Giovanni, but…how could I tell him either?

           Ben and Darkstar had Giovanni settled as best they could across the bed widthways, adjusting the pillow beneath his head, giving worried mutters of “Boss…boss!”

           I held my breath, praying he’d answer.

           “Wh…why’d you do that? I was winning…”

           It was like being dunked in an ocean of relief. I practically collapsed. Very nearly started crying when I heard his voice, weak as it was.

           “We know you were!” Ben replied. “But we thought it was best to leave that hammer guy with the humiliation of defeat while we made our getaway!”

           “No,” I broke in. “No, I’m not playing this game. Not today.”

           I could see all eyes turning upon me. All heads, anyway. Vision was still shot, but I could make out outlines and colors.

           “You almost died,” I said, now feeling the tears coming. “Because I fucked up. I fucked up, and you healed me instead of yourself, and I just…I shouldn’t have come here, and I’m so, so sorry…”

           “What?” Giovanni’s voice cracked. “Composer…you did great out there! You rallied the backup! I knew you were a great choice for team strategist! You probably would’ve played a really epic victory theme for that team attack if you’d had speakers! …We gotta start bringing speakers on our heists.”

           “Just STOP!” I shrieked, shutting my eyes to let the tears gather up. “DON’T talk me up! I don’t need your pity! I just need you not to die! I…I…”

           I couldn’t say it now. No. He didn’t need that. But there was something else I wanted to assert.

           “I think…you’re wonderful…” I choked. “To all of us…and without you…we’d be fucking nowhere…you make all of us feel so special, and…and we can’t lose you.”

           No. I wasn’t going to confess, but in times like these, I couldn’t keep myself completely sequestered. Not when he, too, was probably in need of somebody to be a comfort.

           I approached the bed, prying my eyes open far enough to see it clearly, placing my hand on the edge of the mattress and scooting it toward him. He got the hint, catching my hand in his and squeezing it so tightly that I knew deep down, he was far more afraid than he was letting on.

           “I know,” he said softly. “And you’re not gonna. But we need you too, Composer. You’re emotional support. You’re, uh…you’re really valuable emotional support. Like when a person who isn’t necessarily me is in a lot of pain and needs a really, really good friend…”

           I closed my other hand around his. “I’m here,” I practically whispered. “I’m gonna be shit at doing anything but crying, but I’ll try.”

           “Thanks, Composer. I knew I could count on you. You know I love you, right?”

           I froze. Then it hit me all over again: he said that to all of us. I wasn’t special. But I didn’t need to be. The last thing I needed was to be throwing myself a fucking pity party while he was lying broken and beaten on a mini-bed.

           “I know,” I choked. “How…how bad does it hurt?”

           “It’s not bad! I think he only broke my leg. Upper body’s just fine! That’s enough to put up a fight, right?”

           That got a laugh out of me. Even though I knew he was probably serious about his leg being broken. His pain tolerance was rather incredible. “Which leg is it?”

           I knew he was thinking over which of his hands formed the “L.” He eventually came up with “Left.”

           I was on his right side, so theoretically…no. That would be pretty damn selfish.

           But maybe not. Because I knew he wouldn’t ever admit to wanting, needing more. “If it wouldn’t hurt you too much,” I said softly, “I might need a hug.”

           “Sure,” he said, too enthusiastically. I had been right. “Bring it in, Composer.”

           I practically fell into him, wrapping his upper body up tight in my arms. I cried over him as he’d cried over me. He leaned into me, and I could feel him shaking, trying so hard to hide it. I thrust my hand into his hair, the only thing I could think of, stroking through the pink locks to give him any extra comfort I could.

           “You’re gonna be okay,” I whispered. “I…I’ve got you.” I’d always wanted to say that to someone. I hadn’t really considered the dire circumstances that would warrant it. Turned out it was absolutely as intimate of a thing as I had thought.

           His hand clutched at the back of my dress. Trying to pull me tighter.

           “I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

           “I’m not,” he whispered, and I knew he meant it.

           “Uh…Boss? Composer?” Ben broke in.

           Right. We were making a pretty big scene. We let go at that, and I turned back around, only to see the real reason that Ben had gotten our attention. The other Blasters had arrived en masse.

           “Wait,” I realized. “If you’re here, and Boss isn’t healed up…that means…”

           “We lost,” Car Crash sighed, and though I couldn’t see the details, I could imagine the bruises and cuts riddling them.

           “Anyone down?” Giovanni asked in a panic.

           “Nope,” Flamethrower stated. “We did lose the haul, though. Everything except the one bag with the Special Thing you told us to protect.”

           Now I was lost. “What was the Special Thing?”

           “Don’t worry about it,” Giovanni said quickly.

           “Boss, what did you take?”

           “I SAAAIIIIID DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT! WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOM?”

           “I sure HOPE you don’t think of me as a mom,” I grumbled.

           “What?”

           “What?”

           Giovanni sighed. “Well, the important thing is we don’t have any boys down.”

           “Speaking of down,” I realized, “did anyone think to pull the grate – “

           “We’re locked in,” Flamethrower assured me. “No one’s getting in…no one’s getting out.” Then the ramifications sank in. “We’re actually stuck here until the morning.”

           “We shouldn’t move him, either,” I said softly. “I don’t know what to do about that, but…maybe things will look better in the morning.”

           “C’moooonnnn, I can make it,” Giovanni sighed. “Just carry me out like you did here.”

           “Not if your leg’s broken.”

           “That is seriously not gonna mess it up.”

           “Yes. It. Seriously. IS.”

           “WILL YOU STOP TALKING FOR ME, COMPOSER? ARE YOU THE BOSS? NO! I’M THE BOSS! THAT’S WHY MY NAME IS ‘BOSS’!”

           “I’M TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOUR LEG DOESN’T GET FUCKED UP ANY WORSE, OKAY? WILL YOU JUST SLOW DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS?”

           “Oh, I’m sure it’ll heal up just fine IN JAIL WHEN THE COPS SHOW UP TO DRAG US ALL IN!”

           I clenched my teeth. Then sighed. “I am not doing this. Okay. What counts as a fight?”

           “Wha – “

           “What. Counts. As. A. Fight.”

           “Okay, I totally see where you’re going with this,” Giovanni replied, “but you should spell it out because I don’t think Spike gets it.”

           “Hey!” Spike snapped. “Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to point it out!”

           “You can make one healing soup per fight,” I reminded him. “You spent your hammer-guy soup on me. How long do you have to wait to get in another fight to spawn it again?”

           “…Three hours?” he guessed. “I dunno; I’ve never timed it out before.”

           “And if you got in a slap-fight with one of us, would it work?”

           He shrugged. “Probably?”

           “Good enough for me,” I decided. “We wait three hours, then stage a fight, and then we can probably get you out of that bed.”

           “Fiiiiiiine,” Giovanni sighed, folding his arms and looking for all the world like a petulant child. “We’ll do it YOUR way. Now we gotta kill three hours! I’m gonna be so booooooored!”

           “God.” I rolled my eyes. “Stop being so immature for like two seconds. There are PLENTY of ways we can be not bored in here. Like, I dunno…playing wed-bed-behead or Would You Rather.”

           “Oh, I’M immature, and THAT’S how you want to pass the time?”

           “Screw this.” I turned to storm off toward the eyeglass shop. “I’m getting at least SOME of my vision back.”

           I felt a little bad about leaving him, but he seemed able to snark for himself at the moment, so I decided to just let him stew while I went shopping for some new glasses. Shopping without paying, that is.

           “Uh…Composer?”

           I turned to see a certain purple-haired minion tagging along – pretty much my one teammate who was shorter than me. “Hey, Spike.”

           “So…I was just wondering,” Spike brought up. “You and Boss…you ever notice how you two kinda fight like a married couple?”

           I nearly froze. Yet I kept up my stride, my one shoe (when had I lost a shoe?) clacking on the tile. “No, we don’t.”

           “You kinda do.”

           “We do NOT.”

           “I’m just saying…”

           “Do you WANT me to like him?” I snapped at her. “Last time I checked, you were the one who loved him. You and Crusher.” I then immediately regretted it. “God. No. That came out wrong. What I meant – “

           “I know you wanna keep the peace and everything,” Spike replied, “but you can go for him. I mean, he won’t notice, he never DOES, but you don’t have to hold back for my sake or Crusher’s.”

           “Yes, I do.” I sighed. “Spike…I already tried.”

           “…Oh.”

           “It flew over his head about thirty times, and then I gave up,” I sighed. “He loves all of us. And I love that about him. But I’m never gonna be more than just…another one of the boys. And that should be fine! I’d rather have a life WITH the Boss than a life WITHOUT the Boss! But…it’s just not meant to be. And I have to put up with that.”

           “Well, I’m sorry,” Spike lamented. “I mean, I came over here because I thought you should know that I really am jealous. There’s a reason Crusher’s so jealous, too. A lot of us are jealous. Boss is just…always so happy with you. I guess there’s something about you that gets to him.”

           “Don’t get my hopes up,” I said somberly.

           “I’m not trying to,” Spike replied. “But you two are really good friends. You shouldn’t avoid him so much.”

           “…Am I that obvious?”

           “He WANTS to get to know you better. But you keep running away, and I was right about why, which means Flamethrower owes me five bucks!”

           “Well, maybe I’ll have to think about it, then.” We’d arrived at the eyeglasses. “But no promises. Like I said…I tried. Maybe I just…have to try harder to aim for the friend zone. The friend zone isn’t bad. It’s where you make friends.”

           “That’s the spirit, Composer!”

           I began to cycle through a rack of glasses.

           “What’s your prescription?” Spike asked.

           “I have no fucking idea,” I replied.

           Eventually, I found one that improved my vision enough for me to get by. Now I could see how many little bruises Spike was sporting beneath her visor. My stomach twisted; I wondered if technically, that, too, was my fault.

           I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.

           I kicked off my other shoe on the way back; the asymmetry was bothering me. I did my best to listen to Spike complaining about the loot Marcus got away with, especially the rhinestone-studded smartphone case (which she seemed to be angrier about than him taking an actual smartphone from our haul). All the while, I couldn’t help but mull over all the things that were my fault. Her getting hurt, them getting hurt…

           Giovanni getting hurt.

           Everyone else was thronged around him, him still reclined on the mini-bed, when Spike and I returned. I tried to hang to the back of the crowd, trying not to draw attention to myself. No need to kick up that fight again.

           “All right, boys,” Giovanni stated. “Like we planned.”

           And then they all began to disperse.

           “Wait, what?” Spike asked.

           “Boss wants us to investigate all the departments,” Flamethrower explained. “We might be able to pick up some replacement loot!”

           “Um…okay?”

           Spike and I turned to join the mission, but I was held back by a sharp demand: “Not you, Composer.”

           It took me a while to be able to turn and face him once the others had scattered. Then, once I met his eyes – even from that distance, I could see the gold flecks in them, or maybe that was just my memory filling in, since I was wearing under-prescription glasses – I gave a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

           “For what?”

           “What do you MEAN for what?” I was snapping again. “For being rude, I guess.”

           “You really think I’m that immature?”

           He wasn’t smiling. He was actually asking. I felt like I’d just been stabbed in the heart.

           “No,” I admitted. “It’s…just kind of an easy target. Well, okay, I do think you are kinda immature, but it’s…fun immature. The whole kid-at-heart thing. That’s one of the reasons I love…running missions with you and hanging around base.”

           “Okay. Just checking. That’s kinda what I thought, but I had to make sure before I said anything.”

           “Said anything about what?” I was baffled.

           “I’m having a bit of a crisis,” Giovanni said rather casually, turning to face the ceiling. “You’re good with strategy and tactics and all that brainy stuff. Maybe you can help me.”

           Gingerly, I approached the bed. Sat down beside him on the edge of it. “I’ll try.”

           I thought, for a moment, I saw him tense when I sat down. I wondered if I was too close, if I should leave.

           “You know I love each and every one of my minions,” he stated. “All of you bring something special to the team! Together, we are an unstoppable force of unadulterated evil AWESOMENESS! But I’m not supposed to play favorites! If I think one of my minions is better than any of the others, then what happens? Do I lose all credibility? Do I stop seeing how valuable they are? I can’t do that to my boys!”

           I wasn’t sure exactly where he was going with this. I wondered if maybe he’d latched onto someone he actually did have feelings for. Oh. He wanted me to advise him how to progress with his actual crush.

           Fuck.

           “I…don’t think it’s bad to have a favorite,” I muttered. “Not necessarily. I mean, having a LEAST favorite would be a problem, but you’re not gonna lose sight of how great everyone is if you pick a fave. You’re you. You’re Giovanni Potage.”

           “I mean, that is true.”

           My fingers interlaced with each other. “Wh…who is it?”

           He was silent a while before saying, “I don’t wanna tell you their minion name, but her – HIS legal name is…uh…Ray…bert…Flibere. Raybert Flibere.”

           I swear I was legally dead for the next three seconds. Heart stopped and all that. Even I wasn’t spacey enough to let that one fly over my head.

           “And…how does Raybert make you feel?” I asked.

           “Well,” Giovanni sputtered, “it’s – it’s complicated because – she has a – I mean he has a great smile, and he always laughs at my jokes, and I’m not saying my jokes are HORRIBLE, but let’s just pretend I did make horrible jokes. He’d still laugh at them. I dunno, I guess I have fun with him all the time, and I wanna make him smile, and also he makes me kinda out of breath and my heart gets this weird fluttery thing that I’m thinking is a genetic condition and GOD…DAMMIT, IT’S YOU.”

           I gave an overdramatic gasp. “I had NO IDEA that Raybert Flibere was secretly a codename for Rachel Scribere!”

           “Yeah, I know. I was pretty slick with that one. But I can’t freaking keep it inside anymore! You’re my best friend on the whole team, and I was really looking forward to doing this heist with you, and I…I think…”

           The expression on his face was one I had never seen before. Eyes wide as they could be, as though he were facing down some existential demon. “I think I want you to be my girlfriend,” he choked out. Then, at the speed of light: “I mean, I am pretty charming and all, so I figure I have a shot, and this is just a casual thing, like you being my girlfriend casually, not that I wanna make a big deal out of it or – “

           “Boss.”

           “What? Can’t you see I’m trying to explain myself so I don’t look stupid here?”

           “Do you remember what I was trying to tell you a couple months ago?”

           “What, that thing about the dates?” Giovanni replied. “I TOLD you, dates are delicious, but not as good as figs no matter how you slice – OH.” He looked like he’d just been whacked with a two-by-four. “You were asking me ON a date.” He raised a hand to wave it off. “Which I knew, of course. I was just playing it cool until I sorted out my own heart. You know everyone wants a piece of me. It’s not easy figuring out who I should reciprocate to.”

           “So you know about Spike and Crusher wanting to date you too.”

           “THEY WH – I mean, yeah.” He swallowed hard. “But even with that in play, it’s still you. I can’t really explain it. You just make me smile a lot, I guess.”

           I turned away from him. “You know I’m not a happy person.”

           “You seem like a lot of fun to me. Especially at the compulsory Banzai Blasters dance parties.”

           “I’m pretty high-maintenance.”

           “Uh, yeah, duh. I KNOW. That’s why I want to prove I can MAINTENANCE you. Challenge accepted!”

           “I hate myself,” I muttered. “I act like I don’t, but I do.”

           “Well, then, you need somebody to point out what’s good in you, because there’s a damn lot of it.”

           His hand wrapped around mine again, and I just about jumped. It was like static electricity. A new charge between us that hadn’t been there previously.

           “And…I…maybe wanna thank you for…you know…this.” I still was turned away, but I could tell how flustered he was. He didn’t have to explain what “this” was. The memory of holding him close was still fresh in my mind. “I WANTED to use that soup on you, you know! How am I gonna keep doing awesome crimes without my Composer?”

           “Well, I sure as shit can’t do anything without my Boss.”

           “…’Boss.’ Y’know, that sounds kinda impersonal for this.”

           “Are you serious?” I asked. “You even have your kids call you ‘Boss.’”

           “One: she’s not my kid. Technically. Two: if she was, she’s my ONLY kid. The glasses nerd ISN’T.”

           “Lies,” I teased.

           “But seriously! If you wanna be my girlfriend, and you want me to be your boyfriend, you’ll still be my minion, but you’re my FAVORITE minion, so you should get to call me whatever you want!”

           “You can still call me ‘Composer,’” I told him. “I like it now.”

           “Good, ‘cause it’s a good name for ya! It shows off how creative you are! That’s why I like saying it: to remind everyone who’s the smart one around here without admitting it isn’t me!” He said the next words in a hiss: “But don’t tell the boys I said that. They don’t know I’m kind of an idiot.”

           “You’re a TOTAL idiot,” I affirmed. “But…I love that. It works for you. It doesn’t really hold you back.”

           “So, uh…you…you wanna do this or what?”

           I knew I had to face him for this. So I turned. It was the most strangely vulnerable I’d ever seen him – hanging on a thread for my answer.

           “Yeah,” I told him. “Let’s do this.”

           “Cool! Now we’re officially partners in crime!”

           “Yeah!” I smiled. Then realized what the deal-breaker might be. “Wait. There’s…there’s something I need to tell you.”

           “Is this where you give me my cute pet name?”

           “No,” I sighed. “It’s where I tell you that…you don’t get to fuck me.”

           “Huh?”

           “Because I’m asexual. Like, REALLY sex-repulsed. Ice-cold. And that ain’t changing. So if you want somebody you can fuck, you shouldn’t waste your time – “

           “You thought I wanted to do THAT?”

           I flinched. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all.

           “I keep forgetting that’s a huge thing in this dating stuff,” he grumbled.

           I hardly dared to believe it. “Are…you…?”

           He gave a nervous laugh. “Funny thing…I’m kinda…asexual myself.”

           “NICE!” I squealed. “This is PERFECT!” I’d known he was biromantic – that was common knowledge around base – but not this.

           “And, uh…” He was now the one turning away from me. “There’s…more. I kinda…don’t have…guy things? Downstairs?”

           It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying. Then my jaw dropped; “I KNEW IT.”

           “Yeah. That was a thing. I picked the name ‘Giovanni’ out myself, y’know. Sounds sexy, right?”

           “Incredibly sexy.”

           “So if that’s gonna be a turn-off, nowwouldbethetimetotellme.”

           I thought it over, just in case my first instinct wasn’t right. Then I squeezed his hand gently. “It’s fine. It’s seriously fine. I wasn’t planning on using anything in the ‘downstairs’ area to begin with, so it’s not a big deal. I’m into guys. You’re a guy. There we go.”

           He rolled his head back over to look me in the eye, as though questioning if I were genuine in this sentiment. I gave him a gentle smile, and he flashed me a mischievous smirk. “Don’t be mad because I get THREE pride flags and you only get ONE.”

           “Well, I wasn’t until you SAID that!”

           “Okay. So that’s about everything, except…oh, yeah. The big thing.”

           “Your pet name, I know,” I recalled. Then, due to my general chickenshit nature, what I said next came out as a mumble.

           “What was that?”

           “I said I…” I could feel my face going red.

           “What, is it embarrassing?” Giovanni teased. “You wanna call me ‘Shnookums’? ‘Cutie Pie’? ‘Sugar fangs’?”

           “Wha – NO!” I snapped. “I was thinking…more like…” I finally managed to squeak it out: “Gio.”

           “I like that!” he cried immediately. “It has panache!”

           “All right. Then you’re not Boss anymore…Gio.” I couldn’t help but smile. I was finally calling him it out loud. I could’ve said it all day, over and over, Gio, Gio, Gio…

           “But that wasn’t the thing that was gonna wrap it up, Composer.”

           “Wait, what?”

           His free hand searched beneath the blankets of the mini-bed. “The Special Thing. I was gonna say this to you tomorrow, after I got it for you. Actually, I wasn’t sure what I was going to get to make this as dramatic as possible, until I saw you looking at this in the nerd store. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anybody you’re a nerd if you don’t tell anybody I’m a dumbass.”

           He passed me a plastic bag containing a folded piece of fabric. A black plastic bag. I knew it immediately.

           “YOU. DIDN’T.” I pried the bag open; my jaw dropped. “Do…do you even know what this means to me?”

           “I know it’s from one of your nerd games. Maybe you wanna tell me about it sometime? I like the looks of it.”

           I removed the pink-and-plaid hoodie from the bag, slipping it on over my dress. (It didn’t match at all. I didn’t care.) “It’s from a character I’m not sure you’d like,” I admitted. “She’s like the sweetest hero. There is literally no evil in her. But she just seems so nice and friendly, and everyone calls her useless, and I love thinking about her potential.”

           “She sounds like you. Except without a fun side.”

           “That’s actually a compliment, believe it or not.”

           He was biting his lip now, fangs almost piercing it, and I could tell he wanted to say more. “What?”

           “…Also, she’s not useless. I’m not…a super fan or anything…but I know she gets that huge moment in the second game when she jumps off the balcony and starts beating up the monsters. And that’s also a lot like you when you get down to it.”

           I lightly slapped his shoulder. “You. FUCKER. You KNEW. And you let me think I was ALONE here?”

           “Look, I’m already hiding the whole dumbass thing!” Giovanni hissed. “You think I can live down being a nerd AND a dumbass AND the guy who cried when she bit it in the third?”

           “Ho…ly…shit. You and I need to have a SERIOUSLY long conversation.”

           “Well, we have some time now. And three hours to pass later.”

           “What about the boys?”

           “We’ll just send them to check out more distractions. They’re probably trying on formal wear right now.”

           (I later found out that was exactly what the bulk of them were doing.)

           “You can get more comfortable if you want,” Giovanni invited. “There’s room.”

           Again, it took me a while to grasp his meaning. He was really trying so hard to climb out of the hole of flustered-ness he’d tripped himself into. I did get it, though. I pulled my legs up onto the mattress, lying down beside him. “Is this too close?”

           “No. It can be closer, you know.”

           I scooted closer to him – pressing right up beside him. His arm came up behind my back, and I shivered as he cradled me there. I pivoted, laying on my side so I could put an arm around him, as well – after all, he was still the one with a shattered leg. And so many more little bruises and marks I could see now that I had better glasses.

           “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

           “Will you cut that out?” he sighed. “It’s really better me than you.”

           My arm pried off him so that I could gently stroke down the side of his face. Looking into his luminous, sparkling eyes. Smoothing down those long, unruly pink locks. He was mine, mine, mine. And my heart would damn near break if I let this happen to him again.

           “I’m not the kind of badass you think I am,” I said hoarsely. Great. Now I was on the verge of crying again. “I don’t have a whole jump-off-the-balcony-and-slice-monsters thing. I just…stood there and watched him beat you up.”

           “I don’t care. You’re valid in so many ways, Composer. Just…stay with me now?”

           “Yes. I will.”

           My arm was replaced over him, protecting him as best I could from what few threats could reach us here in this bed – loneliness, misunderstanding, betrayal.

           “So tell me exactly how many ‘nerd games’ you’ve played,” I said with a playful smirk. Turning it on him for once.

           “Ohhhhh boy,” he sighed. “So this is gonna turn into a pretty long explanation…”

#selfship #i'm at soup!

[didsomeonesayventus]

okay long time spending in gestation but I imagine that someone out of the followers I have wants to know my onion on KH3 is 

Overall, good!

so consider wordbarf of very repeated and tired onions no one actually actively asked for below:

Alright so I’ve been trying to figure out how to make these words and what my opinions even are considering this game has been out for almost a year now (KH3 existing is wild imagine it turning a year old) so this will be. mostly bullet points + incoherent and unorganized rambling forgive me

BAD THINGS FIRST lets get the salt out of the way

Literally everything with Kairi was oof. I still feel her relationship with Lea is incredibly rushed given the last time they were interacting in canon he was literally kidnapping her but go off I guess nomura they’re brother/sister friendsy now at least the fandom can sell me on that better than you can. I seethe with rage recalling that they didn’t even try to hide that killing her off was a classic case of fridging (“You lack motivation” FUCK OFF) and I have been angry since the day I was spoiled by leak stuff accidentally. I wouldn’t have minded her getting her ass handed to her if they made it look like she tried and gave us some moments where she did defend herself and get some victories and not conveniently cut away from the actually badly needed training montage (surprise! this is why we have training montages!!!!) and I get she was instrumental in rescuing everyone and the fact she wasn’t THAT bad speaks for how much she improved but it still just. bites that she still feels more like a satellite love interest than ever. 

Kairi was bad enough to get her own thing but tbh everyone who isn’t Sora also.. really suffers. The writing is really Sora-centric here and that’s not inherently bad (see good list) but it leaves a lot to be desired, especially since they dog pile the extended cast moments in at the end. There was no big confusion at Ven and Roxas sharing a face, no talks between characters who would have interesting interactions given their histories and circumstances, no obvious sign of development from anyone except maybe sea salt family and Aqua. They’re here to be more one-note than usual and resolve their arcs. Ven in particular (I’m totally not biased clearly /sarcasm) I feel is a big example given he was kinda in a really rough mental state at the end of bbs?? and 3 is exceptionally vague on just how conscious ventus was during his nap so I can’t even answer if he was able to give himself therapy the past 12 years or whatever

Anti Aqua is a damn cool concept but ultimately kinda pointless and I think we could have received it better if it wasn’t spoiled in trailers and wholly out of left field. Plus Sora coming in after what was pretty clearly set up as a Riku moment- while it gave us the incredibly gay press triangle to Sora + use a big keyblade made from ur love moment -was uh! really cheap!!!! and ruined what was clearly set up for being Riku’s thing with an almost nonsensical SIKE ITS SORA (it’s saved from being wholly nonsensical by 0.2′s opening foreshadowing + it still kinda makes sense for sora to at least help but damn if the narrative wasn’t leading us towards a riku moment)

Also everyone was hit really hard with the nerf effect in-narrative so unless you’re the dream team you’re screwed I guess and that. doesn’t quite work since it makes everyone else look... not great. And I think this is kinda a miscommunication on part of Nomura and the fans (IM MAKING ASSUMPTIONS TAKE WITH SALT) in that we kept saying we wanted people “saved” but meant having their arcs resolved in a reasonable way that preserved their agency and power and relationships, but got interpreted literally as “alright Sora comes in and solves every problem, is tough on stains, and makes julienne fries”

And yet there’s also a lot of mean spirited “oh no sora’s dumb and helpless w/out a second braincell” which was kinda funny the first couple times and I failed to pick up on it first go I’ll admit, but honestly? Yeah. they pick on sora too much. Donald and Goofy are the most guilty, and everyone else by virtue of not seeing Sora that much actually in-narrative are off the hook from me because they probably didn’t know how much teasing he’d been getting from his pals, but it felt kinda like they didn’t know what to fall back on between the three besides “oh donald and goofy pick on sora” which is cute once or twice but the amount he gets and how it clearly leads to his breakdown at the end is uhHHHHhhhHH hm.

As always the pacing is pretty awful where the disney worlds are somewhat relevant at best and then the end is 0-1000 but that is a usual KH gripe so its pretty low on the bar

Attraction flow is cute and neat at first but it gets.. really wearing towards the end and in the serious fights at the Keyblade Graveyard BOY are they a mood breaker

the “repeat the plot” worlds- Tangled, Frozen, Pirates -REALLY stick out like a sore, ugly thumb compared to the worlds that went out and did their own creative thing, and Big Hero 6 was.. cute? but kinda maybe too much of a breather.

Frozen also get an extra award for “Audio mixer most in need of firing!” because who the hell allowed the do you want to build a snowman scene.

They did nothing with Scala and I want a refund on that aesthetic if they’re not gonna do anything besides a framing device with it

HEY WAIT THERE WAS GOOD THINGS TOO!

Good news point that may or may not come to pass: Re:Mind DLC might fix some of the above salt! We shall see and probably know by the time this post is a year old sfjhdsakjgh

SORA! Sora was actually a character again!!!! holy cow they pulled up from the utter nose dive that was DDD!! god i love this dork and it was really fantastic to see him back to normal.

The graphical upgrade lost a lot of the squish and stretch that the OG graphics had but you know what? pretty. tastey. good graphics and better at doing more subtle emotions and hey have i mentioned Pirate’s glow up? Pirate’s glow up. The details in Olympus to recreate the swirly aesthetic of the clouds and explosions and lava is a great touch.

Worlds as far as levels go?? really good! They feel legitimately like worlds and explorable and with their own flavors and I LOVE battle and field themes x2 its really great I’m down for less worlds if they keep the quality. Hell we have NPCs!! maybe even too many npcs.

Writing OVER ALL/ON AVERAGE I’d say has improved a lot! It’s still not a literary masterpiece or anything but I found the disney worlds really cute and easier to get invested in even if long term they were less relevant than I hoped they would be. In every world there was at least one scene I found myself actually invested in. Like there was something to the writing that was legitimately more endearing than usual on average, and toy box and monstropolis were strong contenders for really good overall imo

honestly there were moments that- as moments -were incredible. Wayfinder reunion scene will haunt me, and Sea salt’s was good too, final world and rescuing everyone was jaw dropping, getting the LoD Back was also good, Union X, Xigbar exiting left stage pursued by a bear, wayfinder trio making a grave for eraqus, all the gummi ship scenes had great chemistry, beach party ending, hanging out with rapunzel for the first half of Corona is adorable as hell, all the nods to scenes in the movies, the easter eggs, like the game is not consistently amazing but it is peppered with stuff that I feel in a bubble ignoring surrounding context just work really really well

Damn if the end boss rush wasn’t thrilling as hell and honestly??? really good. Hard to parse out first flush but I think this was a good decision and added a lot of blood roaring urgency and wild turns, and even if I want to overhaul a number of things about the endgame I think this can definitely stay

Kingstagram is a beautiful gift man

OST? A fucking banger all around and I love how they’ve made cutscene-specific tracks that play with the leitmotifs throughout KH’s illustrious musical history

Over all there’s some really glaring issues, but overall it’s KH really at its best. I’m not sure if it’s my favorite entry and I’m still really mixed + befuddled on just how exactly I feel and I think a lot of that is I had pretty high expectations and my own ideas of how it would play out since like. 2012. it’s really hard to detach from those feelings and ideas sometimes. But KH3 wasn’t bad! It could’ve really been worse, and the fact that it got out the door in the state that it was is a good deal

now here’s to the wait for Re:Mind and to see if it’s basically the content we’d get in Final Mix that could definitely bump up my opinion

#Katie rambles #long post #((in case this fucks up on mobile which it likely will)) #but yeah I'd say 7-8/10 #solid entry did remarkably well for what it needed to do but not really amazing favorite entry ever sort of love #got its pros got its cons. its solid and good and enjoyable for what KH is #anyways obviously this is my opinion and you're not obligated to agree but yeah! KH3.. exists.. its a thing.....

[minijenn]

And now, cause im bored, here's every chapter of Keys briefly summed up in just a few words each (possible spoilers ahead??)

Prologue: The Thirteen Keys: MoM fucks with his students, what else is new

Chapter 1: Remaining Recusant: Riku rescues his boyfriend through the power of Gay

Chapter 2: To Guard the Light: Bunch of boring lore but Sokai makes it worth it

Chapter 3: To Seek the Darkness: Organization shenanigans; Vanitas divorces his shitty, abusive not-dad

Chapter 4: Hero to Zero: Uhhhhh fuckin' Hercules or somethin idk

Chapter 5: Go the Distance: Rage Mode angst is Fun

Chapter 6: Wandering in the Dark: Riku gets a haircut in the Realm of Darkness and Sora really needs to stop lying to everyone

Chapter 7: Promising Beginnings: Kairi and Lea are forced to wear a "get along" shirt

Chapter 8: Lazy Afternoon Streets: Sora has an Identity Crisis part 1

Chapter 9: At Dusk: YA STUPID ORG XIII FUCKHEADS BEST LEAVE MY SON ALONE OR ELSE ILL THROW HANDS

Chapter 10: Sinister Whispers: ^^^ BASICALLY THAT AGAIN ONLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME

Chapter 11: You've Got a Friend in Me: Being a living toy has gotta create some sorta existential crisis, right?

Chapter 12: To Infinity and Beyond: JEN IS GONNA THROW HANDS WITH YOUNG XEHANORT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM

Chapter 13: Chase the Shadows: Detectives Mickey and Riku play a round of "Where's Terra?" And fail miserably

Chapter 14: Paradise Found: Fun with Balloons and Grumpy Geriatrics

Chapter 15: Adventure is Out There: Sora may or may not fall to his death from ridiculously high up in the air i dont fuckin know

Chapter 16: Unspoken, Unheard: Kairi writes Sora a bunch of letters cause she loves him so much but wont say it cause she shy ahah

Chapter 17: How Far I'll Go: MOANA AND SORA ARE MY NEW BROTP

Chapter 18: Know Who You Are: Vanitas gets yeeted by the Ocean cause he a naughty boyo

Chapter 19: The Streets of San Fransokyo: Sora doesnt understand how Technology works what else is new?

Chapter 20: Immortals: everything's all fun and games until Sora's dumbass self-sacrifical complex kicks in (again)

Chapter 21: Depths of Despair: LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH MALEFICENT NOW TOO

Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again: Sora and Kairi hang out and DAMMIT JUST KISS ALREADY YOU DORKS

Chapter 23: The Lost Empire: Lingering Will pops in to say hi and also uhhhh whatever the fuck happens in Atlantis goes down idk

Chapter 24: Where the Dream Takes You: Sora may or may not have PTSD, boi should probs go see a therapist

Chapter 25: Drowning in Darkness: Aqua throws hands then proceeds to get Norted

Chapter 26: I See the Light: Basically KH3's take on Corona but things actually make sense this time

Chapter 27: What Once Was Mine: In which that bit from KH3 where Marluxia knocks Sora out actually leads to some legit payoff smh

Chapter 28: Firsthand Experience: Kairi and Lea take a trip to Disney World and yeet Vanitas (again) right the fuck outta there

Chapter 29: The World Es Mi Familia: Being an (unliving) skeleton also is bound to raise an existential crisis, right?

Chapter 30: Recuérdame: I cry while writing this chapter, both for my baby Xion and because Coco is just that damn tearjerking

Chapter 31: Destined Reunion: ALL THE POLY DESTINY TRIO FEELS

Chapter 32: Something There: At this point even Riku be lookin at Sora and Kairi and shouting "KISS ALREADY YOU ADORABLE DORKS"

Chapter 33: Tale as Old as Time: Sora commits an Actual Murder (am i kidding? Who knooooows)

Chapter 34: The Realm of Darkness: DARK AQUA CAN STEP ON MAH FACE IMO

Chapter 35: Rise to the Light: Great, now Aqua has PTSD too, thanks for nothin, Mickey

Chapter 36: Return to Depart: Sora has another Identity Crisis, part 2

Chapter 37: Broken Chains: Vanitas challenges Sora and Ven to a fight in the Denny's parking lot and fucking loses what else is new

Chapter 38: So This is Love: YES THEY FINALLY KISSED THOSE DORKS

Chapter 39: Almost There: Frogs and also like... Voodoo and so many BBS callbacks so damn many

Chapter 40: Dig a Little Deeper: Sora is too damn stubborn to admit he needs help what else is new

Chapter 41: Follow the Light: Wayfinder Family Reunion saves my life

Chapter 42: Solving Mysteries, Rewriting History: Sora and Goofy meet Donalds family (who then proceed to take the piss outta Donald cause this is Ducktales fam why wouldnt they)

Chapter 43: The Other Promise: Sora has yet another Identity Crisis, part 3

Chapter 44: Vector to the Heavens: Sora and Roxas drink their "Respect and Protect Xion" juice

Chapter 45: Another Arabian Night: Sora, Roxas, and Xion fuck around in a B-list Disney Direct to Video Sequel

Chapter 46: Out of Thin Air: GONNA THROW HANDS WITH XEHANORT HIMSELF THIS TIME AROUND GET AWAY FROM MY SON YA OLD FUCKHEAD

Chapter 47: Alone on the Run: Sora has a Bad Time, Riku and Kairi also have a Bad Time, generally everyone has a Bad Time

Chapter 48: Trust No One: Ven and Roxas add onto the never ending Twin Pile that apparently exists in Gravity Falls

Chapter 49: Not What He Seems: I KNOW ITS NOT UF BUT LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH BILL CIPHER ANYWAY SOMEHOW

Chapter 50: A Heart Torn Between: Vanitas learns that Girls exist while Sora continues to have a Very Bad Time

Chapter 51: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride: Riku's goin on a twink hunt, and dont think he dont know how to weeeeed em out

Chapter 52: Aloha 'Oe: Sora and Riku get into a bit of a lover's spat dont worry about it its nothin serious dont worry about it

Chapter 53: Treasured Memories: Namine is the Very First Person Ever to tell Vanitas he has emotional issues, its about damn time

Chapter 54: Let It Go: KAIRI'S FUCKIN PISSED SHE GONNA BRING HER DAMN DUMBASS WAYWARD BOYFRIEND HOME ALREADY DAMN also Sora hangs out with Elsa i guess

Chapter 55: Love Will Thaw: KAIRI KICKS EVERYONES ASSES INCLUDING SORA'S CAUSE LIKE I SAID SHES FUCKIN PISSED

Chapter 56: Back Into the Fold: Sora doesnt have an Identity Crisis anymore but he sure as hell has Anxiety now, part 4

Chapter 57: Farewell to the Wood: Absolute tone whiplash, brought to you by Winnie the Pooh and Sora's ongoing Existential Crisis too

Chapter 58: Link to All: Everyone just cries a lot for an entire chapter cause they all know they boutta fuckin dieeeee

Chapter 59: Face My Fears: I systematically rip every single one of our protagonists hearts out and stomp on each of them with no remorse whatsoever

Chapter 60: Fragments of Light: The B-Squad saves the day

Chapter 61: The Thirteenth Vessel: Sora hangs out with his New Fam, otherwise known as Organization XIII, family fun ensues and it totally isnt a massive angstfest i dont know what you mean

Chapter 62: Key to the Heart: Riku and Kairi throw hands with their boyfriend while also trying to save their boyfriend it makes sense if ya dont think about it

Chapter 63: The Final World: Sora is McFuckin dead and chilling in heaven with a cute baby plushie cat (hey its not a spoiler if KH3 did it first)

Chapter 64: At Daybreak: "But Jen, if you hate KHX so much then why do you keep making so many references to it???" BECAUSE THATS WHY NOW SHUT UP

Chapter 65: The Keyblade War: Keyblade Fight Club, either you Die or you DIE

Chapter 66: Clash of Light and Darkness: Bunch of teenagers throw hands with some bald old fuckhead, but in the end nobody wins except me

Chapter 67: Kingdom Hearts: You know you're in for something fucking nuts when the chapter title is named after the entire series

Chapter 68: The King and the Crown: Jen pulls off a plot twist so mind blowingly ridiculous that it would probably make Tetsuya Nomura blush

Chapter 69: Reconnect: Everyone has a happy ending except no not really i lied

Chapter 70: Don't Think Twice: Oops I Lied again :)

Epilogue: Dearly Beloved: Fuck KH3's ending this is my new canon now

#this is such a shitpost #though im not lying about any of this stuff tbh #there are indeed spoilers in here if ya squint #jen writes #keys to the kingdom

[bkdkink]

here’s part 2 for the ehhhh stuff 

“okay, so dy,” you ask, “if it looks good and plays well, story is excellent and music is perfect, wtf is up your ass about it then?”

so bear with me. what i am about to straight-up complain about rn is by no means anything major or even something that should prevent anyone from ever being apart of the game and its story. these are minor, personal complaints that i want to vent out, and if it so happens that i have people who agree with me then great! if not, then yeah i totally understand because people see the story differently and want different things, as life goes.

long rant ahead, beware. 

so the negative about kh3, ill start with the annoying and lead up to the heart-crushing part (yet expected) part first.

The Frozen and Tangled levels were rough. lmao, not skill-wise, no. Just. Tangled was going through the whole damn movie......right? without songs and certain minor characters, but we...went through the whole movie with Rapunzel and it was sooooo awkward to watch the cutscenes....because sora, donald and goofy were just. there. they did nothing to progress the story. they were just....there? eugene died. they witnessed a man DIE. and it was........anticlimatic a little in how they reacted???? like that they dont quite understand death so they were just like awwwwww :/ and then he came back so yeah, but. it was so weird?? with them there???? why were they there??? why this way???? why not make up a whole new story or add to it or something or other??? is it cuz she’s one of the new 7 princesses of light so we had to do a whole thing??? cuz we didn’t for any other princess??? oh besides Frozen.

Frozen was the worst level for me. just the worst. i never liked the movie, so that’s strike one, strike two is i had to re-listen to two of those infamous songs.......because sora had to listen to them. why....when....when was there disney songs shot frame-per-frame.....in KH? and no, ariel in KH2 doesn’t count because that whole WORLD was a MUSICAL WORLD. the only actions you could take was THROUGH muSICcccCCCCC.

my point is that there was too much pandering going on there, also the story was just as nonsensical as it was in the movie. if i never saw it i would have been so confused as to where that brunette dude came from, how he got Elsa, WHY he wanted to kill her---the game (tangled was a tad bit guilty of this too, wtf did Rapunzel start calling Flynn Eugene? i saw the movie so i knew but they didn’t explain that until their world was finished) so....good luck to whoever did watch the movies?? KH assumes you’ve seen both of them, compared to the Carribbean where I never saw the movie but i knew wtf was going on??? also big hero 6, never saw that but could get the gist!!!!

they were just WAY too movie heavy which isn’t the usual for the series, and im sure if they are included in the next game itll be a different experience because the movies are now established, so there hopefully there won’t be any pandering from Frozen’s end too much.

Now......the stuff that is more personal. okay here goes. 

KH, from the jump, has somewhat kinda tried to establish a maybe romantic angle between Sora and Kairi. Now, because of how friendship heavy the whole series is and the love friends share....I for one never picked that up until i was reading tvtropes and i was reading up on Kairi being one of the main reasons that Sora and Riku were even beefy in the first game to being with??? the both liked her but she chose Sora or something????? that shit flew so far over my head and no, i wasn’t a child playing the first game for the first time---this was only a couple years ago. i just....did not...pick up romantic interest? i picked up...friend?? because they kept saying....Friend™? 

anyway, series goes on, Kairi is known to the fandom as being written mostly out of focus and is never used well enough in the plot. and i agree. they never used her to her potential, and even in KH3, where she is now a keyblade wielder, she still becomes something to save...............even in the very end.........even when she and Sora had their moment of “imma save you this time!” .....no........sora still leaves to go and save her.............so.like.......yay for....growth? kinda....? i just feel bad for her tbh. 

that’s one thing. the main, large thing that i did see coming but was disappointed in nonetheless was that several games later of pushing her aside, of focusing much more on the relationship between Sora and Riku with an ENITRE GAME narrowed in on both of them and their journey toGETher---KH3 begins to focus on the romantic angle between Sora and Kairi again. and its obvious enough where NOW yes, even I picked up on it this time around.

and at this point......it just.....came off so forced? they lay it on thiccccccc my dudes. and it feels like it. yes, there are still moments between Riku and Sora, sure, but that is down-played SOOO much compared to fuggin KH:DDD or hell even KH2....

like.........i don’t expect any gay male video game protags from Square Enix, I really dont. but i also dont want some  last-minute romance shoved down my throat??? when i was fine with how it was before??? maybe if they still kept the subtly that they had done and with newer games continuing to build off of that, I wouldn’t be so put off by the idea. KH2 did a good job of building it, like when Sora imagined Kairi and him dancing together in halloween town--that was cute af?????? and well integrated????? and could STILL be taken as him just missing a FRIEND or yeah, a potential love interest! but just. jesus. you didn’t care about them being together then, don’t do it now because it comes off a little cheap.

also fuck Riku i guess???? kairi doesn’t give a fuck about Riku at all?/??? is the overall vibe i was getting???lmao aren’t all 3 of them friends??????? no???????? kairi only messes with sora and riku only messes with sora?????? can i get some uhhhhhhhhhhh riku and kairi time too or nah????? we had a moment of them at the beginning of the game i guess and then....that was....kinda it? so fucking disappointing how they write her man. she’s so much more than a love interest and there are moments when that shows, but there’s too many where she just....is only sora-focused? 

you want an example of how forced it was that they were switching Sora’s relationship from Riku to Kairi? now don’t quote me on this i could very well be wrong because i never actively listened for bkg music until DDD, but Dearly Beloved? the titular theme song for every single KH menu and emotional scenes? the theme song that DDD later ESTABLISHED in CANON that it was Riku and Sora’s heart song playing together????? a song that plays in some kinda version whenever Sora and Riku are having a moment??????? WELP. i wanna say they still kept it for Sora and Riku for at least one cutscene with them together. at least. i can’t name others, but they at least did it once cuz i remember getting excited about it. 

they now played it more frequently whenever Kairi showed up on screen, or when she and Sora were having a moment together. 

SORA. and RIKUS song....playing now for SORA and KAIri???? please correct me if im wrong, absolutely tell me if im wrong that im just not observant and it’s always been like that because tbh that’ll make this better for me lol but they just took Riku and went YEET. “Sora is the hero. Sora gets the girl because of course he does. Sora is GOD and fuck yall for not expecting him to have a love interest at the end of this and YES it will be a girl and YES it WILL be the one we keep forgetting about to make his love interest up until now because yall were getting the most wrongest ideas of where this was going so we’ll fix that right up for ya” 

i still loved the game. hell, even with the ending like that (”i gotta go save Kairi! again! even though we had a whole thing with the papou fruit about how she was going to save me and protect me this time! and i gotta do it alllll by myself!!! she has a keyblade you say???? she wants to be more useful to me you say???? well FUCK that imma go rescue her because im Sora and i am hero boy!!”) i still had a good time! it really is a good game, please go play it to get all the feels in the world, if this minor stuff is minor for you too, then go play it RIGHT. NOW!!!!!

but yeah. ya girl was disappointed by how forced it was. expected it, but still doesn’t negate how i feel in the end. so now im gonna indulge in soriku art. 

Rant over! if you actually read over this and wanna talk about it, feel free to hit me up! let’s rant together. maybe im wrong and too focused on my ship and i have ship glasses on too tight. 

#kh #kingdom hearts #sora #riku #kairi #soriku #destiny trio #wayfinder trio #dyrants #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 spoilers #spoilers #kh spoilers

[storm-driver]

Oh boy, you wanna know? It’s gonna be a lengthy one, but I’ll do my best to make it entertaining, heh

Under the cut because L O N G P O S T

So first things first, it’s best if you know how old I am. As of March 2019, I am 17-years old, and I’ll be 18 by the end of Summer. Kingdom Hearts 1 came out just 7 months after I was born, so I wasn’t into it from the very beginning. 

Right around 2009, I found myself getting a PS2 from one of our neighbors because they were buying a PS3. And among the games they gave us with the PS2, Kingdom Hearts 1 was in that batch. My sister played through and completed the whole game, but little 8-year old me couldn’t get past the Chameleon boss in Deep Jungle. So I put the game down for a year or so, never thinking about it since. I went back to finish the game, got stuck on the legendary ‘THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE TAKING KAIRI’S HEART’ boss fight, and I eventually beat the game! Go me!

I got a Nintendo DS and my sister bought me Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days for the DS because she realized I actually liked Kingdom Hearts. However, I hadn’t played KH2, nor did I retain too much of the information from KH1. My sister got KH2 for the PS2 a few months prior and assumed that the other save file was mine. Turns out she just accidentally saved twice >.<

So I played through 358 until I got stuck on one of the ridiculous bosses, I think it was Leechgrave? And I didn’t retain any of the plot, so I kinda just forgot it. Then... I actually played KH2. 

And I had SO much fun! I played on Beginner because I was 9-10-years old and I needed to if I ever wanted the hope of beating it. And around that time, Re:coded came out. So once I beat KH2, my sister bought me Re:coded and I played that... before getting stuck on a boss again. I can’t remember which one though, heh. 

I eventually went back to beat 358, did so, cried a lot because Roxas was immediately established as my favourite, and by then I was maybe 11-years old. Dream Drop Distance for the 3DS came out and I had become invested in the games at that point. So I was about to start watching the cutscenes for 3D... when I realized I was missing something... 

I never played Birth by Sleep.

I had seen a few of the cut scenes out of BBS by that point, but I didn’t actually know who the characters were. Surprisingly enough, when I saw Ventus for the first time, I didn’t associate him with Roxas at all. I don’t think I even processed that they looked the same. To me, it was just Ventus. Maybe that’s why I can see their nuances so well, I don’t know. Anyways, I went and watched all the cutscenes for Birth by Sleep, lost my fucking mind because OH THAT’S WHY ROXAS- OHHHHH and then I went to watch 3D. 

And lemme just say, by that point, it was all over. This game was now apart of my life. You could tell ‘cause suddenly all the references to Ventus in all of the games clicked for me and I WAS LOSING IT so much. I love that kinda stuff, I dunno why, but I doooo. 

And then the year after... 2013.... y’all know what happened. KH3 was FINALLY announced to be in REAL development, even if it was development Hell. I remember watching the livestream for the first ever KH3 trailer as it was happening and I was crying. Lil’ 12-year old Storm Driver sitting at their father’s cracked and broken laptop, crying over one minute of pre-rendered game footage. It was real. I was going to play KH3. 

So then the next few years were me establishing my love for the series. Right around when I turned 12 was when I’d actually been introduced to social media. I’d played games like Toontown and stuff on the computer, but I’d never used Instagram or anything before... I actually pride myself over still having my first ever IG account. I think I made it after the first KH3 trailer came out. Interesting. 

I managed to get one of my at-the-time close friends into the game, and they let me borrow their 3DS so I could play Dream Drop myself! But we had a falling out the next year and we didn’t talk or communicate that whole time. Fun little anecdote, the name “Storm Driver.” I chose that name after I’d played 3D because it was the name of the track for one of my favourite songs. Except... the name was mistranslated. It’s supposed to be “Storm Diver.” But in pure spite, I kept it as it is today. 

And that was how that friend of mine contacted me again, years later! They found my Tumblr and realized I was the same Storm Driver from the years prior and we reconciled and made up over what had happened. We still don’t talk much, just having each other added on Snapchat. But I’m happy that they reached out to me. 

Years passed and my love for KH didn’t die, but it did settle a bit. It spiked again in 2015, when the gameplay trailers were finally being released. But nothing really dragged me back towards it. Until 2017. The orchestra tour...

OH FUCK MAN, I WENT WILD. I fucking lost it. I did not calm down, for three or four whole months, this exact Tumblr blog was busting out frickin’ KH posts and all the like. And it has not stopped at all. ‘Cause soon after that, 0.2 was confirmed and released and I was losing my god damn mind over it all. I was so hyped for KH3, words cannot properly describe. During those months, I came to meet some mutuals on Tumblr that I now consider very close friends. Even if we’ve never met, I still feel a lot of joy just seeing their names and icons pop up in my notifications feed.

I started playing KHUX after the orchestra tour trailer came out. I used to pride myself over having (at the time) ridiculously strong medals that pushed me forward through a lot of the Proud Mode content without spending a single dime on the game. But of course, those medals are outdated now. My KHUX character is probably just average at this point. But that’s okay. I don’t really play it anymore, heh.

And in the months leading up to KH3, I just did my best to stay relatively calm. I joined a few Discord servers for KH, but I found myself feeling out of place. I started getting interested in other things, and with no one to talk to over those things, i started to talk in the KH servers. I was asked not to and it eventually led to me go and create my own server. It was initially a Voltron server, but as VLD has ended, I changed it to be a community server, where people who just wanna talk can talk. It’s a “private” server at the moment, because I don’t want to overwhelm myself and my two friends who moderate it. I’ve opened it a few times, to help get some more people in who just wanna hang out. 

My experience with Kingdom Hearts took a weird turn when KH3 was around the corner though. Someone kept making one-day accounts on Tumblr and DMing me the leaks of the game, including the ending. Lucky me, I hadn’t seen a whole lot of the plot-related stuff. But my impulse control is weak and I’d click the links just from the sight of them. So I knew what would happen to Sora at the end of the game before I’d even seen the final boss. I didn’t know how Roxas ended up there in the ending and I was REALLY happy to see him and Ventus and Xion standing together in frame. So I guess it kinda hyped me up to see how the game handled him and his return.

At the end of it, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed KH and I will continue to, I’m sure. I’ve also played TWEWY for the DS, so I’m sure that the tie-ins it’ll have with the future of Kingdom Hearts are going to be amazing. This game latched onto me when I was an infant, and it’s been nine long and incredibly fun years so far. I’m happy that we’re not done yet ^^

#kingdom hearts #kh3 spoilers #stormy weather #my post #this is about everything i can think of without going into heavy detail #anyways #hope this is what you meant anon ^^

[flynn-science]

Ryan Reacts to Kingdom Hearts 3

Okay, so this is a mix of live reactions and post-world reactions. Lot of live reactions in the beginning and end, more sporadic in between. You can probably guess what I’m reacting to most of the time from the sequence of events.

Mmm dat orchestral Don’t Think Twice Needed a minute on the menu. Finally seeing it say KH3 was A Lot. HOLY FUCK WHAT A COOL INTRO The speed is the same as 0.2, with that sprint that kicks in. Will take some getting used to. The stained glass looks gorgeous though Nice touch of KH1 Sora’s jump animation changing to KH2 Sora’s Making choices again like the original. Vitality is probably health, Wisdom is probably magic, and Balance is, well, balanced. I’ll go balanced. (I’m on Proud, btw) Guardian, Warrior, Mystic. Same as the weapons in KH1. In that case, I’ll make the same choice I do there: Guardian. SORA HAS AN IDLE ANIMATION OH MY GOD BLOCK AND DODGE FROM THE START! Also this sky place is new for a Dive to the Heart (AND THOSE HOOOORNS, LISTEN TO THEM) The water looks great A four-hit combo instead of the usual three? Huh Scan from the start too Nice detail of Sora’s head angling towards the locked on target All this music sounds SO GOOD I’MMA NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK ONCE I’M DONE Ahhh that little soft version of Sora’s theme WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS II.9 SHIT These Instagram-style posts on loading screens are adorable Oh damn, we get a LOT of abilities from the start. And this is on Proud! Dodge Roll, Air Slide, Aerial Dodge (formerly a Master Form ability), plus all the Flowmotion stuff Wow, THREE shortcut menus! 12 total! Wow, and a LOT more control over how allies use items. That can be very useful! Sweet, synthesis materials are back! Water is an interesting new spell. And being able to reorder the Magic menu is nice (though I only use shortcuts). Kinda glad the item art has stayed the same. Also hey, Wellspring is from BBS. And first AP Boost of course goes into Sora, as will they all. WOW USING THOSE IS WAY FASTER NOW Yooo that Underworld music with the Titans’ appearance Take a shot every time someone says “Sora, Donald, Goofy” Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 1 HERCULES HAS JOINED THE PARTY “Team Effort: Always start battles with a team attack command.” Damn, what are those that this ability is FIFTY AP?! (Are team attacks that move we saw Sora and Goofy do in a trailer? The throw?) I like that tutorials are playable at any time Also I was worried Save Points might not return with that auto save message at the start ALSO THIS IS NIGHT OF FATE PLAYING IN THE COMBAT TUTORIAL Ooh, Panacea art is nice. (Panacea has only appeared as a command in games like BBS and re:coded, so it hasn’t had art before) *reads Ability Ring* Damn, if 10 AP is a SMALL boost, I can’t imagine how expensive abilities are gonna get (well, Herc does have that one 50 AP ability) Ultima Weapon returns, looks like Synthesis recipes are based more on collector’s goals than finding them. Looks like there’s 60 synthesis materials, sounds about right. Ooh, synthesis item rarities, types: soothing and pulsing are from BBS, writhing, betwixt, sinister are new. Looks like everything goes in Shards, Stones, and Gems. Ooh that’s a lot of Heartless. Hey when is Jiminy gonna show up? Gonna need to complete that Journal again. Oooh battle music has bits of the old Coliseum battle music. Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 2 Environmental fire damage followed by Sora’s butt on fire limiting my actions. Neat. Okay, these have been live reactions so far, but I’m gonna stop doing that because it’s slowing my progress. “What the heck is Rage Form?” “OH. OH THAT’S A THING.” I keep seeing hidden Mickeys, I bet those are gonna be a thing with the camera once I get it. Also damn are they giving me a lot of ingredients for the cooking minigame I can’t play yet. So the biggest thing I’ve noticed about the new combat is that because they give you so many really powerful abilities (grand magic at higher levels, formchanges, attractions, team attacks) that are all basically free (are you hitting things with your keyblade or magic? Can you hit this specific enemy once? Can you wait for your teammate to give you a prompt?), the number of enemies in each fight seems to have SIGNIFICANTLY increased from previous entries. KH2’s level design this is NOT. Lots more nooks and crannies to search. Me approaching the gates of Olympus: “Is this Anor Londo?” Yay nostalgic Coliseum music! And oooh little environmental puzzles are back! Like from KH1! I forged Goofy a new shield! Aaaand playable Riku. I have no idea why they were so dodgy about the second playable character. This is only the third time Riku’s been playable. Anyway, gotta fight the Demon Tower again. Damn, Riku is WAY stronger than Sora right now. Wish I could have read his abilities (and moved shortcuts). Nice emulation of the death screen. Also hot damn, is that Repliku talking??? I guess Riku’s “other me” really could be Repliku. Awwwww yeah, Lea’s getting new clothes too! YEAH JIMINY! “Dream Heartbinder” So Heartbinders must be this game’s summon gems, and this one lets me use Dream Eaters. SORA’S THEME IS THE RINGTONE!!! Ienzo’s here, with a bit of OrgXIII music from CoM. HOLY SHIT THE GUMMI SHIP IS THE BEST IT’S EVER BEEN UPGRADEABLE KEYBLADES?! I guess that makes sense, considering they all have different formchanges. They want all of them to stay viable throughout the game. OH MY GOD, DEMON TIDE HAS SO MUCH HEALTH I guess the bosses have to with all these powerful attacks I have Does Hayner have a new voice? Olette sounds different too. Checked the wiki, all three have different actors. Pence sounds closest to his original though. So judging by the Dusks and Snipers, no more enemy-specific reaction commands. The Ducklings sell Gummi blocks now?? Huh. Whoa wait, the road out of Twilight Town’s Tram Common leads back to the world map? Can I NOT go to the clock tower in this game?? Man, Twilight Town felt really small. Hope the remaining worlds don’t, though they’ve certainly seemed significantly larger than the two I’ve been to so far. Also, totally called the Lucky Emblems, though I’m gonna keep calling them hidden Mickeys. I think Tou Story is my favorite world. Granted, I’ve only been to three, but still. The Gigas are super fun, Woody and Buzz look amazing, and I can’t stop whistling/humming along! AHHH CREEPY DOLL Lol, the Verum Nox poster even has a Square Enix logo. First death, the Gigas battle in the video game. GOD DAMN! WOODY dropping an amazing “The Reason You Suck” speech to Xehanort! “Unless you’re in the ~real~ Organization too? Good for you!” Damn, Sora! Also love hearing that music from Chain of Memories every so often Glad flowmotion’s jump isn’t as level-breaking as it was in DDD. Same goes for the attacks. Wow, so Rapunzel permanently leaves the party. Was wondering they’d just give her a different moveset like with Mulan/“Ping”. This is the first time a character permanently leaves your party. And of course, Marluxia. Who I didn’t think could or would return. And Vexen who rejoined willingly, which is, man. Not something I’d have done. Both Norted of course. And was Saïx missing his scar? Maybe he’s just Isa now. I could tell it was Unversed, and Flood specifically, in that first Monstropolis cutscene just from the sound of them spawning. That’s how I know I’ve put a lot of hours into this series. Monstropolis feels the most linear so far. Arendelle’s ice labyrinth is awesome, the level design gives me some light Dark Souls vibes. I like how there’s zero explanation for Sora, Donald, and Goofy being able to breathe underwater in The Caribbean. And by that I mean I would have liked even just one line to explain it. The ship combat isn’t as good as AC3’s and AC4’s, but it’s still pretty good for a one-world mechanic! The ship is a LOT more responsive than the AC ones. And damn, is this world open. Okay, San Fransokyo is gonna be a pain to search for chests and Mickeys. PRESS TRIANGLE TO SORA IS THE BEST REACTION COMMAND I HAVE EVER SEEN Jiminy telling people about summaries on the gummiphone is Square Enix saying “IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY THE GAMES, READ THE FUCKING SUMMARIES” Giant battle at the start of Keyblade Graveyard was cool, but hurt the frames, especially on the fake shadows. And just as I was getting hyped at the possibility of having Riku and Aqua as party members. Oh hey, just realized Riku’s keyblade has a Mickey keychain now too. “And so, as legend foretold, darkness prevailed and light expired...” “Your hearts will be torn from your bodies” “To move through time, you must leave your body behind.” THE FINAL WORLD?! Wait, Sora’s been here MULTIPLE times?? Okay, so the star talking about the person who’d miss them, whose heart has been taken by another’s? Strelitzia? Talking about Lauriam? Love and hate? Going back for fight after fight? Hm. Cloud or Sephiroth maybe? (Longshot, but it doesn’t sound like a khux character, or anyone else) Identical pair? There’s no twins in this series. Like walking alongside a mirror... maybe it’s not an literal identical nature? Same clothes, same food, maybe Xion?? “Nothing left to teach you”? Damn, that’s not much to go on. Maybe Eraqus’ and Xehanort’s master?? “Just friends... stepped back” Skuld maybe? “I’m gone... they’ve added another member” Could that be Xion? Wait, no, how could Xion be here, she’s still within Sora’s heart. Are these actual named characters we’ve met before? Or not? The one who was defeated and supposed to fade... Repliku?? But he’s with Riku now... Someone searching for their Papa??? Most of the characters in this series don’t have parents at all, so my only guess here is Pinocchio?? No way a Disney character ends up here though. I don’t think all of these are characters we know. Someone holding onto a sliver of memory, and a servant?? Yeah, these could all just have been ordinary people. Naminé?! What happened to Kairi??? Okay, so the darkness split them. KAIRI IS KEEPING SORA FROM FADING AWAY OH MY HEART “GO TO HER” SHE SAYS "That's not the official thank-you!" Lol Damn, this area is fuckin huge, why is it so huge?? A PORTAL?! A DDD PORTAL HERE?! Well this place is rad. I better see that weird Darkside at some point here OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH OH IT ROTATES THAT'S FUCKIN SICK God damn, this game's got some of the best level design of the series! Is... is this OUR Chirithy? “He doesn’t remember the past”? Although I guess it could be Marluxia/Luxord/Demyx’s too. Or Ven’s. My bet is that it’s Ven’s. DID SORA JUST TIME JUMP BACK A FEW MINUTES??? Aaaand did nothing different. So now we’re world-hopping like we did back in End of the World. OH WHAT IS THIS DIVING INTO STATIONS TO PICK A WORLD?!?! YOOOOOOOO Just Kairi and Lea are left. Haven’t hit San Fransokyo or Twilight Town yet. Guess they must be in those two. Last one is San Fransokyo. Lea must be here. Kairi’s probably gonna be the last. “Traversing hearts to reach worlds” That must be what I’ve been doing here. Not jumping between worlds, jumping between HEARTS. Was Sora just considering telling her he loves her? He should have. Wait, am I back in time? This already happened... OH SHIT! THE LINGERING WILL IS HERE! EPHEMER! OHHHHHHH HO HO WOW! OHHHHHH FUCK! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Congrats to all the lucky people who got their names in the game! PRESS TRIANGLE TO UNION X GIANT SHADOW MASTER XEHANORT IS TERRIFYING I like how Axel is holding his keyblade by the guard instead of the handle OH SHIT MASTER YEN SID! YOOOOOO! Okay KH3, I want to fight thirteen bosses now, you hear me? DAMN that Ancient Light finisher on Starlight’s Second Form is STRONG YOOOOOOO THREE BOSSES AT ONCE??? (I really hope this is as tough as they were before, but seeing as Xemnas was harder in 1 than in 2, doubt it) Went to help Mickey first, so I’m taking on Marluxia, Luxord, and Larxene Oh come ooooon, I barely got to fight them! Luxord’s out, 12 to go OH SHIT THE OTHER TWO Larxene’s done, 11 to go. With XI conveniently up next. Marluxia’s defeated once again. 10 left. Hey whatever happened with that comment of their ancient keyblade legacy...? Xigbar... might be gone? So maybe 9 left. Dark Repliku is defeated, and light Repliku gave himself up so the Replica could be used for Namine. That’s sweet. 8 left. YO actual time of day change! I like the door switches. Nice having little environmental things like this. Hm, Kairi and Lea one way, Aqua and Ven the other. Well that’s no contest, gotta go back up my girl Kairi! Mysterious new hooded figure??? Oh. Oh no. I think it’s Xion. D: Yeah. It’s her. *Xion stops Xemnas “YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYE YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH” *Roxas shows up “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK” THE WHOLE GANG’S HERE YOOOOOOOOOOO Shout outs to Ienzo, Ansem, Vexen, and Demyx for helping Roxas return! WHY THE FUCK IS KAIRI GETTING KIDNAPPED A-FUCKING-GAIN, NOMURA WHY WAS SHE EVEN TRAINING, FUCK Okay, so Kairi and Lea/Axel are out, BUT ROXAS AND XION ARE IN OH HOLY SHIT, SORA SQUAD FORM UP!!!! I HAD TO STOP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC FOR A MINUTE It’s all three of their themes! (Plus a bit of Another Side) THIS IS THE HYPEST SHIT Aww, Saix’s death mirrors Xion’s. AND THE SEA-SALT TRIO REUNITE! Saix is out, 7 left. Xion turned, 6 left. Vanitas fades again, 5 left. I know some people had hoped for a heel-face turn, but I knew it wasn’t likely. WHAT TERRA’S HEART WAS IN ANSEM’S GUARDIAN THIS WHOLE TIME. THAT THEORY WAS RIGHT! Terra-nort’s back to just Terra. 4 left. Just wanna say, I love that it’s Sora who gets to turn the tides of all these fights. Who’s dull and ordinary NOW, huh?? AND he’s still going! Oh boy, time for a triple Xehanort fight! UMMM NINE KEYS (but why are they No Name and not the X-blade?) OOOOOOOHHHHHHH THIS BLEND OF ANSEM, XEMNAS, AND YOUNG XEHANORT'S THEMES Guardando Nel Buio, Darkness of the Unknown, and Impeto l’Oscurito 1V3 ME, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON Young Xehanort returns to his time. 3 left. I like how we all agree to pause the fight whenever someone falls. Xemnas fades. 2 left. Ansem as well. Just 1 darkness left. WHAT THE FUCK, KAIRI NOOOOOOOOOOOO AH SHIT HE’S GOT THE X-BLADE AH SHIT HE’S GOT KINGDOM HEARTS Oh hey, everyone’s caught up. Donald: “You can’t do anything without us, Sora.” Me: “Donald, shut the FUCK UP.” Xion: “Kairi will be alright.” Me: “OH THANK GOD” Scala ad Caelum. Stairway to Heaven. It looks like a proto-Land of Departure. But the music is Case of the Foretellers from X Back Cover. Could this place and Land of Departure once have been Daybreak Town? Damn, Dark Kingdom Hearts is over the ENTIRE Keyblade Graveyard now Spooky twelve figures are spooky Why do they have the Organization’s weapons?! I love this return of Destati though They all had a shared HP bar? Scala ad Caelum’s world icon is kinda shaped like a heart Oh wow, full Inception Weird hearing Rage Awakened without the Lingering Will here “There is one sky, one destiny!” “DEEEESTAAAATI!” Ohhhhh shit Shout out to the heart in the floor design though And the figure in the middle has 7 points Classic Xehanort pose from the KH2 secret ending Aaaaand now he’s got ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts! GREAT WHOA HE FORCED ME INTO RAGE FORM DESTATI IN FULL FORCE WHAT A RAD FINISHING BLOW! The canon death screen, the heartbeat, Donald and Goofy calling from my controller! ONE BIG BLAST! So Xehanort sees himself as some sort of white knight? A templar to guide the masses with an iron fist? Yeah, no dice dude. Sora’s right, not your choice to make, and destiny is beyond your control. So Eraqus really WAS with Terra all this time. MARK HAMILL IS BACK!!! Xehanort just hands it over, huh? Wow, closure between Eraqus and his apprentices after all these years Eraqus and Xehanort mimic Sora and Riku from KH2, and pass on. Go get her, Sora. HIKARI ORCHESTRAL Ven met his Chirithy! Lea’s finally wearing his new outfit. Aw, Xion looks good too! And Isa’s here! Naminé is back too! And I bet the Namine/Riku shippers are happy! AWWW They’re all hanging out at Destiny Islands! Look at them all being friends!!! THERE THEY ARE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Epilogue: XIGBAR HAS BEEN LUXU THIS WHOLE TIME?! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! You know while watching Back Cover I was like “Man, the Master of Masters really talks like Xigbar for some reason.” BOY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE NOW So what was it about Ava’s role with the Dandelions that led to her absence here? AND WHAT’S IN THE GODDAMN BOX Is it a Book of Prophecies? Something else entirely? In any case, I doubt Maleficent and Pete would be able to get it away from them all. Secret Ending, “Yozora”: Ooh, “Another Side, Another Story” vibes right off the bat. SORA! And... Riku? Well this is just Japan. Wait, the guy from Verum Rex? And a black coat, who’s probably Xigbar/Luxu or the Master of Masters? After watching, a friend informed me that Riku is in Verum Rex. And Sora’s dead. Cause he’s in TWEWY’s version of Shibuya, since that one building said “104.” But which one is the black coat in? It could be the Master of Masters dead, in Sora’s world. Or Xigbar/Luxu, still watching things.

I have no idea what comes next. But I am excited.

#kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kh spoilers

[silverwhisp]

I’ve Completed KH3 And I Have Thoughts.

I have finished KH3 short of the side stuff like the ultima weapon, classic kingdom, gummi ship stuff, battle portals and the cooking. I have some thoughts. First off, I loved this game allot. I only have a couple of complaints gameplay wise and three story wise but all in all, I loved every minute of this game. For those who don’t want to read everything I’d give the game a solid 8.5/10. It was amazing but a few small flaws and the three story issues I had made me bring the score down. First I will discuss the issues cause I feel that’s what one should do when critiquing art. I will offer solutions where I can. 

I will discuss my gameplay complaints first.

The manual lock on is ass while the auto lock on is decent. I almost never used the manual lock on due to the fact it can just drag the camera where ever it wanted. Especially if enemies start flying. This is largely due to how often you spend in the air while in combat. The auto lock is good though and doesn’t seem to change targets unless you make it or bump into another enemy. The manual lock is good for human sized bosses though. Short of making the camera tighter this may not be able to be fixed.

The game is to damn easy. I had this issue in BBS and DDD after I got to level 30 and beyond. The game becomes easy even on proud. This is largely due to bad enemy health scaling. They still can hit damn hard and enemies like the Ice Dragon still are dangerous. But since the enemy’s health and defense don’t scale up better the game becomes real easy after level 40. I don’t doubt they will patch in a critical mode which may be a better way to play this game. Just better enemy scaling would fix this problem.

That’s all my gameplay complaints now for story ones. SPOILERS will be discussed so leave while you can.

The game has bad pacing in the Disney worlds. Some like Olympus, Toy Box, San Fransokyo and Kingdom Of Corona have great pacing while Monstropolis is meh and ones like Pirates and Arendelle were just awful. Why are you cheering for Anna and Elsa Sora? You didn’t do anything you turd. This could have been fixed if they added intervals in between all the worlds to reset the pacing and if they just followed the movies from start to finish in their entirety instead of jumping around.

Twilight Town is more of a bus stop then a world. They should have made it bigger and included old areas to explore. Even an expanded sewer system would have been fun. No story reason needed it just exists. Oh well.

These next issues ARE MAJOR SPOILERS so leave now if you don’t want to be spoiled.

What the fuck is Nomura’s issue with writing a good arc for Kairi? I mean they set her up to be training to become a bad ass and we don’t get to see either the training or a decent fight scene. We fight with her once, she gets kidnapped, and then fucking dies!? I’m starting to think Nomura doesn’t know how to write female characters. That may be one of the reasons they dropped him from FF Versus XIII since females had big roles in the story. He fucked Kairi over and made her the least likable and cared about character in the fucking finale of this Saga to me. What the hell? This alone may actually get me to start my own series on something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Jesus. The death isn’t the issue its that there was no build up for her.

The last story complaint is a small one. I saw Sora’s “death” coming since death seemed to be a theme in allot of the world’s we went to. Flynn, Anna, Jack, and Tadashi were or are dead at some point. Even Young Xehanort hinted at it when he said, “There is a high price to pay for wielding such power recklessly (...) There is no saving you.” The issues I have with the “death” of Sora is that it means nothing. Nomura said he will be the protagonist for the foreseeable future. If he didn’t say that then the death would be okay. The main complaint about this is the final scene on Destiny Islands where everyone sees Kairi and Sora but Sora just gets Thanos’d. That shouldn’t have been in there. There are two scenarios that would work way better than that one in my eyes.

One: Everyone is just looking out to the sea and the music goes quiet. All you can hear is the sounds of the waves and it zooms to Riku and he just smiles.

Two: Same thing but Kairi comes from the ocean in tears and Riku helps her up. They all look at her and she shakes her head. Everyone gets solemn until Riku chuckles. He smiles and says, “That knuckle head always getting into trouble. He’ll be back. Even if I have to drag him home.”

Maybe its stupid but if you removed the scene where Sora turns into smoke or whatever, the ending would have allot more impact.

Those are all my complaints for the game. Like I said solid overall but with a few issues that could easily be fixed.

Now for the stuff I loved about the game. Gameplay Is First

All the worlds were so much damn fun to explore. I easily spent and extra couple hours in each just looking around for chests, emblems, Easter eggs, and ingredients. Even Pirates was fun and I was worried it’d be gimmicky due to the ship mechanic but nope it was so much fun. The only one that was less fun was Monstropolis but since it takes place in a factory its okay. It seemed more into hidden paths than open places which is fine.

I haven’t had that much fun with a combat system since playing as Vergil In Devil May Cry 4 Special edition and that’s saying something. His combat was so smooth and easy to experiment with I didn’t think it could be beat but KH3′s comes close with transformations and grand magic. The attractions are a bonus though I didn’t use them allot. There wasn’t a need at later levels.

Thank god for combo cancelling with dodges and slides. Against the Gigas, which are the only enemies that pose a threat now, its a god send.

Flowmotion is fun to use and not over powered like in DDD. No more spamming air slam at early levels.

The party members all feel useful. Not many died in combat and seemed smart enough to back off when they’re in danger. Donald also heals based on need versus what he did before. Like if I was out of magic and potions he would heal me over goofy even if we had similar amounts of health.

There wasn’t a single boss I didn’t like short of Dark Baymax since it felt so slow. Skoll is now my favorite heartless design finally surpassing the Wyvern from Kingdom Hearts 1.

That’s all for gameplay since I could go on and on.

Now for story stuff. SPOILERS INCOMING! All the original story stuff for the KH characters was amazing. Anti-Aqua’s theme was so heartbreaking and beautiful and what she said as we fought made me feel like shit even though it was Mickey’s fault for leaving her there. Vanitas’ voice is god like and his scenes are so good. Him calling Ventus and Sora a brother to him makes sense yet unsettled me with the tone he used. ALL OF THE TRIO’S BEING REUNITED!!! I cried when Xion, Roxas and Axel hugged and cried. I was so happy they got to be together. Aqua’s reunion with Terra and Ven was also beautiful. Xehanort’s story beats were great and the man they got to replace the late Leonard Nimoy is amazing. Sounds more sickly and dying like he should at this point. The twist where Terranort wrecks everyone before we go back into time was a fucking shock and amazing. THEN LINGERING WILL SHOWING UP! The voice for Lingering will was amazing. DONALD’S ZETAFLARE HOLY SHIT! All the foreshadowing of Sora’s “Death” or “Disappearance.” Death was talked about allot and Young Xehanort even said Sora couldn’t be saved since Sora uses the power of waking so recklessly. All the Disney characters who met organization members being sick of their shit before they even talk. Woody especially. “I bet you’ve never been loved.” and “That makes you more hollow than any toy.” My son I am so proud. All the instagram style posts were so cute. The epilogue was mind blowing. I knew that sarcastic sniper knew way more than he let on but him being Luxu was a fucking shock. Amazing. And the secret ending seems to be hinting that Sora’s been given a second chance in the form of The Reaper game from TWEWY. Either its going to be DLC which Nomura said if he did decide to do he’d do free stuff and/or one big dlc that adds to the experience in a big way or the next game opens with The Reaper Game. Riku being in Verum Rex is interesting to me. Maybe he realizes Sora isn’t in the realm of light and after talking with Goofy and Donald he learns of Verum Rex and how Sora was tossed in so he goes looking for him there. And finally the Master of Masters looking at the moon and forming a heart with his hands. Is he looking for a new plain of existence for everyone to live on but before he can move people there it needs a new Kingdom Hearts? And is that what’s in the box? I’m excited to see. All in all I love the game and would recommend it to people who want a good JRPG.

8.5/10

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh3 spoilers #KH3 #kh

[themattress]

Everything wrong with the series heroines’ scenes in Kingdom Hearts III

Because it is legit fascinating how horrendously sexist this game’s writing is.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-Twilight Town

- "I'm training to become a Keyblade wielder like you".  Right off the bat, we have something wrong. Kairi apparently needs formal Keyblade training in order to be a “real Keyblade wielder’ like Sora and Riku. Except that Sora and Riku didn’t receive formal Keyblade training - it was just fine and dandy for them to pick up a Keyblade, start slinging it, and become a master at it through their adventures. But a GIRL doing the same? Oh no, we can’t have that!

- "That's right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures. I want to get out there and do my part to help."  This is bullshit, because this was a development that Kairi already made in KH2! Seriously, talk to her before entering the door to Kingdom Hearts and she outright said “I’m tired of waiting, from now on where one of us goes the other follows!” and the epilogue is framed as if Sora, Riku and Kairi will be going on an adventure together now. But then Nomura and Oka decided “NAAAAH!”, retconned this in BBS’ secret ending by having Kairi meekly agree to just wait behind for Sora and Riku again, and are continuing this degradation of her character here, where she only steps up when Yen Sid calls for her to.

- "I'll admit I was a little scared of him at first, but I've gotten to know him better. All he ever wanted was to help his friend. Honestly, it's hard not to like him." Fuck this. Axel didn’t want to help his friend, Axel wanted to help himself. Roxas, the friend he betrayed, made him feel like he had a heart. Axel wanted that feeling back, and was willing to harm Kairi and Sora to get it back. He was a selfish bastard, and this whitewashing of his character in order to pander to his popularity is disgusting, especially when at the expense of his past victim. The line given to her of “It’s hard not to like him” is especially wretch-inducing. I sure as Hell don’t like him!

- "It won't be easy, but I hope you'll remain the happy and cheerful Sora I know. There's no heart your smile can't reach." Schmaltzy, forced SoKai crap right here. Remember how good and subtle the writing in the original KH was? Where all Kairi needed to say was “Sora, don’t ever change” and that said SO MUCH about her character and her relationship with him?

- "But I won't send it. It's more for me. I just like talking to Sora, even if it's on paper." OK, now you’re just making Kairi and her feelings for Sora look pathetic. In KH2, when she couldn’t remember Sora, she still sent him a letter in a bottle that she wrote, having faith that it would reach him. And now I’m expected to believe she’s too shy to send a letter to Sora now?

- "You're sweat, Lea." God, I think I’m going to be sick!

- "Don't hold back, Lea. Promise?" A contrived line in order to use Kairi for Xion-related angst for Lea to go through. By that same token, Xion is also being used for a man’s development.

- "Call me Axel from now on."  This is so fucked up! A girl tells the older man who once kidnapped her that she’s not comfortable with his constant apologies. The man doesn’t respectfully stop, he instead tells his former kidnap victim that he’ll only stop doing this thing that makes her uncomfortable “one one condition” - that she begin calling him by the name she knew him by when he kidnapped her! WTF!? In what universe is this appropriate!?

SCENE: Aqua and the two Ansems, post-Monstropolis

- "Don't need it!" And thus begins Aqua’s degradation into a joke in this game - she attacks a powerful Heartless without her Keyblade, and shockingly is owned in two seconds flat and turned into a Darkling. There’s being brave, and then there’s being dumb. This...is dumb.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-The Caribbean.

- "Now that she's a part of me again, I figured all was right. But she can't look at this forest, feel the wind on her face, none of it. And if she could, it would be different for her. Her time was short, but she lived it, and that makes it hers. What right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back? They don't belong to me. Nothing's as it should be. Not for her or Roxas."  FUCK THIS. This pisses me off so much. I loved the happy ending of KH2, including for Roxas and Namine. But now it’s been retconned so that it wasn’t a happy ending, that they didn’t retain their individuality from within Sora and Kairi despite what was clearly said and shown in KH2′s ending, and it’s a terrible fate that they must be “saved” from to end their “hurt”. And Kairi is now blaming herself for it - “what right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back”? Oh, I don’t know - maybe you had a right because Namine wanted it and fucking extended her hand to you so that she could rejoin with you!? Remember that!? I guess not, since otherwise the game would remember that it was said/shown that Namine would still exist and be able to experience things and keep hold of her own feelings and experiences. But that might create lots of bonding scenes between Kairi and Namine, and we can’t have that, can we? This series is all about the MALE bonding!

- "Well, you don't have to worry alone anymore, Axel." GAAAAAAAH!!!

SCENE: Anti-Aqua in the Realm of Darkness

- Just...everything. From Anti-Aqua being treated as a villain that must be defeated rather than reasoned with even when the entire breaking speech she gives to Mickey is objectively true and well-deserved, from Sora needing to beat the shit out of her in order to save her, and from the hollow “you’re home” callback to the KH2 ending, with Sora in place of Kairi (are they going for a Sora/Aqua pedophilia ship tease here?) and Kairi herself nowhere in sight, not being a part of rescuing Aqua despite being allegedly her counterpart in the Destiny Trio. At the end of KH2 and even at the end of this game’s opening FMV, we had Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Thus, Kairi’s absence is glaring (and not for the last time!)

SCENE: Castle Oblivion becomes Land of Departure again

- "Ven's expecting me. I promised to wake him. Said I'd be right back, but I'm not even close. I'm in for an earful." But Ven’s heart wasn’t in his body when you promised that! Why would he remember that promise or be expecting anything from you!? And the way you’re phrasing it (”in for an earful”) makes it sound as if you’re the child and he’s the adult! What the Hell!?

- "Why? Your heart never found its way home?" Did Sora really not tell her!?

- "Sorry, but you've seen me too weak, too often. Now it's my turn to shine." Where to begin? This notorious line is woodenly delivered right before a fight with Vanitas where Aqua is playable. She is saying it to Sora, basically admitting that this is a matter of ego and that she wants to show off in front of him (again, creepy pedophilic ship vibes here). Also, “you’ve seen me too weak, too often”? He literally just met you, and you were pretty damn strong when fighting him as Anti-Aqua! And after the playable fight is over, Vanitas blasts at Ven, Aqua jumps in front of the blast and has time to deflect it with her Keyblade or barrier magic...but she doesn’t, gets knocked out, and has to be saved by Sora and Ven. Weak!

- "Good morning, Ven." Wow, such an emotional reunion! (That’s sarcasm, btw.)

SCENE: Gathering at Yen Sid's Tower before the final battle

- Again, everything. Aqua and Kairi’s interaction is pathetically brief and only revolves around “Hey, remember when we met in BBS? That was a thing.” Plus bringing up the bullshit retcon of Aqua enchanting Kairi’s necklace, Mickey somehow not having pieced together that the little girl was Kairi until now, Lea whining that this talk is taking time away from him and his narcissistic entitlement complex, and more “Roxas and Namine need to be saved” crap.

SCENE: Land of Departure at night

- "It's like I've been part of some big adventure." This scene features Aqua and Ventus. But it’s only about Ventus, and his X connections. Aqua is nothing but a springboard for him.

SCENE: Paopu Tree on Destiny Islands

- "I want to be a part of your life no matter what. That's all." Except that Kairi already IS a part of Sora’s life no matter what. This has been true since the events of the original KH, where she inhabited his heart. The paopu sharing was never meant to be a literal thing to happen when it was conceived, it was symbolic, it was smart writing. This is dumb, and forced.

- "Let me keep you safe." This line isn’t going to have much payoff. In fact, between this and her dialogue in her letter at the very start, it’s sounding a lot like many a poor unfortunate shonen heroine who will pay lip service to getting stronger and helping the boys, and then ultimately proves useless when it comes down to it. Three guesses as to where this is going.

SCENE: Terranort appears

- EVERYTHING. The sheer incompetence displayed by Aqua and Kairi in this scene must be seen to be believed. Both of them have Keyblades, and neither of them use them. Unreal.

SCENE: Kairi brings Sora back

- "The light in the darkness. It was you. You're the one who kept me from fading away." Get it!? Because it’s like the first KH! Where Kairi was the light in the darkness who kept Sora from fading as a Heartless! And the scenery and music is literally straight from the scene where she showed him the memory of her grandmother’s story! ‘Member that fantastic scene? ‘Member? ‘MEMBER? Isn’t this coming full circle? Isn’t this poignant? (No. It’s not.)

- "I feel strong with you, Kairi." This line right here shows the big problem with Kairi in this game - she has nothing to offer for herself, she only has something to offer Sora. She is used for Sora’s role and development, as he says: to make him strong, all while she stays weak. 

SCENE: The Finale

- EVERY FUCKING THING. Larxene implies she was only part of the Organization because of her feelings for a man.  Aqua gets beaten by Terranort and has to be saved by Terra (which on it’s own wouldn’t be so bad, seeing as Sora and Ven are in the same boat, but it’s her last battle in the game after having lost all the other ones and she loses AGAIN). Kairi, after just half a battle as a party member, gets beaten by Xion and then kidnapped by Xemnas. Xion, who only shows up now, is again used as a prop for Lea, then gets beaten down by Xemnas and needs to be saved by Roxas, and then is a pitifully weak party member in the battle against Saix while Roxas is overpowered. Kairi is fucking killed by Xehanort in order to give Sora “proper motivation” and thus achieve his goal, meaning Kairi was more useful to the villain than to the heroes. Xion does nothing but say an out-of-left-field line about something she shouldn’t possibly know. Aqua is basically told by Eraqus that she shouldn’t have been named Master and that Terra should have (”Take care of them” - Eraqus to Terra about Aqua and Ven). Namine only shows up in the last seconds of the game, without any dialogue. And for the final slap in the face, Kairi is resurrected offscreen, only to lose Sora as a result of it.

Amazing. Literally every scene featuring these girls had something to demean them in it. KH3 is the absolute embodiment of the KH series’ woman problem. Hardcore fans can deny it all they want, they can accuse me of being a stupid hater or a killjoy or an SJW or what-have-you, but they cannot change the truth. And the truth is that Tetsuya Nomura is a sexist hack.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts III #Analysis #Sexism #Misogyny #Bad Writing #Character Derailment #Anti-Kingdom Hearts #Anti-Nomura #Anti-Tetsuya Nomura

[nautilusopus]

@death-rebirth-senshi i’ve complained about it before but recently as part of my hobby of archiving utter garbage for posterity, i went back and checked it and i’d like to make a few retractions of some details i got wrong, as well as screenshots to supplement previous points:

(again putting this under a cut, damn this was longer than i thought it’d be)

kaworu is letting himself get gangraped so he can pay for an abortion because he got pregnant from the other time he got gangraped (but keeps the baby because Good Girls Don’t Abort)

no one has even heard of The Gays and everyone repeatedly is confused by the notion if not outright disgusted

tifa does not leave her own bar. she lives there with rude, who she married, and is chill about him being responsible for the deaths of her friends. denzel is not kicked out of seventh heaven, but just dropped on tifa’s doorstep because that’s a thing you can do when you decide you don’t want a kid anymore because he yelled about how it’s kind of fucked that everyone’s popping out babies left and right in what was supposed to be some janky-ass analogy for homophobia that the author thought using a ten year-old boy was the best avenue for making a point and then handling said intolerance as though he were an adult. denzel has absolutely no lines after cloud kicks him out of the house so he can spend more time with his REAL children because he is not a child and thus has no thoughts of his own on this position that do not directly relate to him being used for the shittest analogy in the world out of nowhere. 

Good Writing

like man you sure fuckin changed your tune on that pretty quick, huh cloud. also tifa is objectively correct here just saying. 

eleven chapters later:

y... yay? this is the triumphant emotional climax of the fic by the way, when the author realised they ran out of antagonists so they just grabbed whoever was lying around that wasn’t sexy enough. i don’t know how i feel about being asked to root for a man that kicked a homeless orphan out of his house to live with people that don’t even like him for sassing him. once. 

denzel literally only exists to be used as a tool to make tifa look bad, first by showing how cloud loves him and tifa doesn’t, and then by showing how cruel The Curséd Hets are when cloud has him dumped on her doorstep after denzel winds up as a ten year-old strawman (strawboy). i don’t even like denzel but i’m honestly kind of at a loss for words and i hardly know where to start so i’m just gonna move on.

i think i failed to mention last time how this fic felt the need to turn their lizard brain sex pollen underage mpreg garbage into a commentary on gender roles while at the same time being teeming with so much fucking misogyny it physically hurts

cloud names his fucking kids kairi faith and riku hope

i know this sounds hypocritical coming from someone that dunks on genesis at every single opportunity i get, but there’s just something really distasteful about spending multiple paragraphs and a couple entire story arcs vilifying anyone who’s “in the way” of your preferred ship. 

like i’m sorry did i mention asuka raped someone she’d been calling “papa” for several days while he was unconscious and got herself pregnant and everyone’s fine with that and she doesn’t get kicked out of the fucking house? because i feel like i should mention again that asuka raped someone she’d been calling “papa” for several days while he was unconscious and got herself pregnant and everyone’s fine with that and she doesn’t get kicked out of the fucking house.

it’s always good to avoid ad hominem and personal attacks against the author when talking about these things but... god damn

#tw: rape #squid grumbles #tw: paedophilia #as always DO NOT SEND THIS PERSON HARASSMENT #at the end of the day they're still entitled to make whatever terrible content they want #and i do not have to click on these things and choose to anyway

[dukeofriven]

Wither Tinkerbell? Part 1: Only 90s Kids Remember (KH liveblog)

I was doing a liveblog, wasn’t I, before the last week got so crazy I barely had the energy left to smash the reblog button. What was I liveblogging again?

*squints at hand* K... ka... Kangdamn Hats? Sure, I guess. Where did we leave off?

oh

Sora - for those who don’t remember, an idiot - surrenders to Captain Hook because Captain Hook has Tinkerbell in a lamp. That’s Tinkerbell, who Sora has had all of one(?) interaction with, if by interaction you meant ‘bystander’. Tinkerbell, whom Sora has no relationship with or reason to give a damn about. Sora, who has basically just been told where Riku has taken Kairi - his sole motivating factor for hours of this game - decides ‘Oh no not Tinkerbell of course I will surrender, even though there’s a paltry bullshit number of enemies here that I could take instantly.’

FOUR HEARTLESS AND ONE DUDE WHO IS JUST A DUDE WITH A SWORD AND A PROSTHETIC HAND WITH LIMITED FUNCTIONALITY! (”What about Smee you ask? Ha ha - Smee won’t do shit and you know it.) Sora, it must be recalled, has at this point fought an Ursula 1000 times his size, an Oogie Boogie the size of a skyscraper, Jafar imbued with ultimate cosmic power, and... some British dude with a  gun riding some kind of praying mantis? (It was not clear.) But here Sora’s like: “Oh, no, these are odds I cannot face. Not with poor sweet innocent... Tanker Ball, was it?” *Deep Breath* So I got a lot of messages over the last week, most of them about my Kingdom Hearts liveblog. Some of them were really complimentary and if I forgot to thank you personally please forgive me for doing so. Some were less complimentary. Some were what I might call, mmmh, ‘ornery’ or perhaps ‘snotty’ (Some messages were critical without being shitty - I’m not talking to you). You see, I had committed the grave sin of voicing an opinion about Kingdom Hearts without having first played everything in the series - indeed, I sometimes got the impression that I had committed some sort of sin by being born not already knowing the entire legendarium of Kingdom Hearts broader mythopoetic chronicle. At the very least, I was certainly not bringing enough nostalgic childlike wonder-reverence to the table to be able to judge the game ‘fairly.’ In this praxis, Kingdom Hearts - i.e. Kingdom Hearts I the first game - is beyond linear criticism: because any possibly flaw is explained or massaged away in subsequent works, any perceived flaws in the original are something on the order of temporal hiccups, mere quirks of chronological progression and best ignored. Like the Tralfamadorians, I should absorb Kingdom Hearts only as a holistic whole: as it is ‘complete’ in the future it is complete now, for all times are one time and past and future are only the observances of lesser mortals unenlightened enough to step without time. Let me offer a counter-proposal: THIS GAME BAD THIS IS A BAD GAME THE WRITING IS BAD, UNGOOD, AND BAD THE QUALITY I WOULD ASIGN TO THE WRITING OF THIS GAME IS ‘POOR.’ ON THE BADNESS SCALE OF NOT-GOOD, IT RANKS ‘BAD.’ IF ASKED TO OFFER A EXAMPLE OF A WELL-WRITTEN GAME, THIS WOULD NOT BE THE CHOICE THAT I WOULD MAKE

This is the scene that comes next:

Sora is made to walk the plank, Hook shits himself about the presence of the crocodile and buggers off, leaving Tink with Smee the Useless One. Peter then snatches Tink from his hand. It takes all of 10 seconds, and makes the entire point of the previous ‘surrender or Tink gets it’ moment as ephemeral as it is inconsequential. This game has a problem that I am starting to call ‘tension cul-de-sac’ - it’s when a scene introduces a problem or crisis that is resolved within the same scene, sometimes within the same cutscene. Tension is not allowed to grow or develop or have any impact beyond the moment - and frequently it’s undermined further by the game’s long and awkward pauses, it’s bad eyelines, or the intractable problem of lugging Goofy’s dumb ass across an entire game and trying to pretend anything can be given dramatic weight with that fucking clown. You know what, no, that’s unfair - let’s talk about A Very Goofy Movie for a moment. I wasn’t much of a Disney kid - to be a Disney kid generally required money, which we Did Not Have. The Disney channel sure didn’t air with any of the basic packages we could only sometimes afford, and you sure as shit didn’t get it as ‘the only channel we sort of got’ when we couldn’t afford it and had to rely on the aerial (look it up, children.) So I didn’t grow up watching the Disney channel. I am pretty certain that those times we did have the basic cable package it didn’t come with it - the Disney channel only came with the super fancy package with the 200 channels for middle class people with La-Z-Boy chairs. (Guys, you should know that I am old enough to remember the day when cable came to this country and the TV went past channel 29 for the first time - it was a literal event. The whole country had free cable for the first month or so, and for a least a month before cable went live the channels aired non-stop trailers of their future content, and it was so wild that you could could scroll for channel after channel and see something other than static. I feel so old.) Anyways, I wasn’t a Disney kid. As noted earlier I had a couple Disney movies, but I was taught pretty early on what a gross and shitty company Disney is - my mother was a poor progressive who did what she could to keep me woke, and I think it also helped her blunt any enthusiasm or ill-will I might have for never being able to go to Disneyworld. If I didn’t give a damn about Disney as a brand then that was a whole lot of merch we couldn’t afford that I didn’t want. (One day I will right a big old essay about how capitalism hurts poor kids with materialism, and why Pokémon, Disney, POGs™, Crazy Bones, and a whole lot of other 90s franchises predicated on mass purchases did so much to harm my self-esteem as a kid. But that’s not today.) No, I was a Looney Tunes kid, because they were A) Actually funny and had bite without being saccharine dribble B) aired on cheap channels, and C) outside of a weird trend of Looney Tunes in Hip-Hop clothing and that brief blip that was Space Jam, not highly marketed. But I did see A Very Goofy Movie. More than once - the library probably had it. I remember having righteous indignation about that movie. Goofy, who just wanted to have fun with his son, was treated like garbage, because Max was the worst kind of eye-rolling 90s teen who did not want to give a shit about anything that wasn’t ruthlessly contemporary. This scene?

MAN FUCK YOU, MAX! His dad was trying so hard and all Max could do was be a shit. I mean sure, I got what was getting under his collar: Roxanne was sweet and cute and who wouldn’t want to take her to a dance, and Pete had the world greatest god-damn RV, and Goofy’s verbal ticks can be somewhat grating - but for fuck’s sake, Max. As someone who often felt mortified by his father (my dad was the guy who would go tell older kids off if they were being BAD and kull wahad was that squirmingly mortifying) you’d think I’d have empathized with Max more but no - even as a kid I saw Max’s in-the-moment coolness desperation for the sad peacock display it was. (CONTINUED IN PART 2)

#tinkerbell #peter pan #captain hook #smee #max goof #a very goofy movie #roxanne #kingdom hearts #sora #donald duck #goofy #dukeofriven liveblogs kingdom hearts #disney

[dewprisms]

kh3 spoilers idk tumblr keeps not saving them and idk what i was doing last :/ but this will be the last one unless there’s DLC or something

this terranort scene....everyone sure is taking their time to attack him

kairi where is your keyblade seriously??? maybe you should have it out???? why are they making her a fucking damsel in distress again

so Donald and Lea get hurt because Kairi’s too dumb to not have her keyblade out with monsters around what the FUCK was the point of her training if they’re making her NOT DO A DAMN THING EXCEPT BE A D-I-D

god is THIS why I saw posts about people being upset over kairi’s treatment? Because they don’t even have to do ANYTHING? or is it about to be worse?

....and Aqua just....doesn’t even try, she just drops her blade and lets go

this entire scene is suppose to be sad but I’m just getting pissed off at how FUCKING STUPID they all are

“where am i” looks like heaven, ur dead kid

chirithyyyyyyy

....Chirithy def has Kairi’s? voice, def the voice of another character but higher pitched

oh shit Sora’s ACTUALLY dead

is....that xion?

Namine!

...is this Chirithy....Ven’s Chirithy?

Lea never did change into his new clothes

THEYRE HOLDING HANDS

oh, NOW I actually unlocked KG as an actual world

what....did time rewind? it’s the same scene...

LW!!!! Terra’s back!!

WHAT?! EPHEMER?!

oh my god, THIS is where all the KHUX names come in? We help Sora fight the Darkness Tornado

aww, I didn’t see my name :( that didn’t seem like 300 tho

oh, so it IS KH1 Riku

there he is, my love!!! aand he’s gone

oh no, Mickey’s starting to lose hope

oh dang, Mickey knows Time magic? not Stop, but Time

YEN SID!!!!!! HE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING

man this is why he’s the most powerful magician in the series

oh shit there are 2 girls.....is it really xion?

mannnn Xehanort’s voice is sooooo bad and the accent just gets worse and worse like the dude isn’t even trying to hide it

where’s Terra? He’s not back yet

oh Luxord’s not dead

oh god, I have to fight ALL FOUR of them with Mickey

nvm, just me vs 3

nvm that was easy, just ignore larx and marly

oh, Luxord’s helping....and he dies again

where’s mar and larx tho. i didn’t kill them

oh, larx only helped to stay with marluxia....cause of their past in khux...

marly lost his memory too?

now i gotta kill my bf again....

yup, he never got one....xehanort lied to him....

they’re so mean to him :((((((((((( I mean he deserved it yeah but

nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE KILLED HIMSELF WHYYYY

im legit upset

oh no, it is repliku, not past riku....

the real repliku....is giving ups his chance of life for namine......

wow......kairi got hit twice and fucking passed out....she’s worse than donald.....she didnt do any damage and got knocked out way too fast...

xion :(

also-ran??? wtf is that

ROXAS!!!

SSIC trio is back!

fuckING KAIRI GOT KIDNAPPED   A G A I N  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

who the FUCK is “her” they keep talking about

so Saix was more bitter over over not just him but this mysterious girl they were searching for

nooooooo he died in Lea’s arms (also? apologize to Xion for how you treated her you fuck)

...so Xion’s hair is brown now....?

SSIC TRIO HUG!!!!!

Also....why was Xion with them in the first place??? They NEVER said why

naturally, aqua vs terranort and ven vs van

JHBSJKKSD I killed Terranort and ALL he said was “ow??” like he hit his arm on a door

I don’t think they understand that Vanitas didn’t have a choice, he “chose” darkness because he IS darkness, that’s literally what he is, he never had a choice to be what he wanted, he can’t be with light because Ventus is his light

jfc Terranort shook them around so much they passed out

Holy shit IS THE THEORY TRUE??? The guardian is Terra’s Heartless!!!

so Guardian = Heart, Terranort = Body, LW = Soul, dude was literally split into the 3 states

WAYFINDER HUGS!!!!

fucking....they took Kairi to force them to fight the last fights....instead of LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE!!!! if Kairi is so fucking weak as they’re writing her to be, it would’ve been more beneficial to kidnap one of the stronger people (like Mickey!!) instead but no they gotta kidnap the girly girl who’s been a DID in every. single. main. game. so far. :))))))))

lmao killed YMX with the Magic Carasoule

ngl I was kinda expecting YMX to betray himself...

Xehanort just sit here and watches these little cut scenes after every individual defeat....

......oh....ansem sod was gonna betray them....but gave up hope he could change anything....

aww Mickey used Curaga on us right before he knew he was gonna get taken again also I forgot to equip Curaga for myself oops I still have Cura on my slots, why does it not automatically equip them now....nobody wants to ever use the weaker versions, lower magic cost or not

what, Xemnas actually regrets being bad to the org? why, it makes no sense from how he was written before

WHAT HE KILLED KAIRI

“Why her?!” because she’s a fucking girl in this franchise

im so goddamn pissed off, no WONDER everyone is so mad about the ending

....Xehanort’s VA is......so bad............he has no damn emotion..............like, people talk about Aqua and Terra’s VA”s being emotionless? Nah, this dude really sucks

so Riku and Mickey got Stop’d but Donald and Goofy didn’t (or Sora of course

oooooo Ven and Roxas noticed each other....that’s gonna be a convo.....

“Kairi will be alright.” Yeah after everything’s done and over with to keep her out of the action

............so he gets taken out because he’s too distracted to see the 11 people aiming for him? are you fucking kidding me

so Xehanort...is a portal...to Cable Town??

mannn so the guys in those gucci outfits aren’t even the new org, they’re all just old man xehanort himself

wait wait no, they have all the weapons of the org? so are they them or does he just have all their powers??? nvm they’re all him

god even his power-up scream was underwhelming........

yup, a goat, the sin of Lust iirc

.....that fight...was extremely underwhelming....is that it?

“there is one sky, one destiny” dude that’s kairi’s line fuck off

EVEN DON AND GOOF ARE GETTING HITS IN like damn man

he just. straight up took the light from Sora and forced him into Anti-Form? ok

well, at least he actually sounds like he’s dying in pain

ERAQUS! at least he has his voice, that’s def mark hamil still

“that doesn’t mean that i can’t be there for you” you’re the one that fucking killed him you lying motherfucker

...so eraqus apologized to aqua and ven, but not to terra who he also attacked? ok

and so the boyfriends ascend to the afterlife together

where the FUCK is Kairi

so

so the game

fucking ends

with Kairi fucking dead

THATS THE FUCKING SEQUEL HOOK?!

this whole ending is suppose to be sweet with all the reunions but I’m just royally pissed off

oh, it is Ven’s Chirithy....but he didn’t have his memory come back...

oh! Lea’s new outf- XION GETS ONE TOO AAAAAAAAAA AND ISA!!!!!!!!!!!

Namine!!

they just. found Kairi offscreen.........................................................................

whelp, SoKari def canon SoRiKai is way better tho, as is somewhat RepliNami and Terrqua and MarLarx

wait.....what happened to Sora? Is Kairi actually not back then??

omg, Drake Bell was young Eraqus??? what, it said the Foretellers in the credits....when was that?? I don’t recall ever seeing them.....

............what happened to the card Luxord gave Sora that he said could help turn the tide of the battle? It never came up as far as I can tell..

...uh.....did they forget that Frozen takes place in the summer.....why is the area still covered in snow? it stopped once Elsa controlled her powers.....

yup, there’s Luxu(?) and the KHUX hook, though I don’t see Ava among them

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

XIGBAR IS LUXU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL SEE HIM IN MORE GAMES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE THEORY WAS- wrong, cause everyone was saying he’s the Master of Masters

oh, I completely forgot about Maleficent and Pete lmao

oh, so Sora really was gone- oh what the fuck are they in the real world now????? no, what the fuck, the FF knockoff in Toy Box was real?? or is it a DLC hook?

#kh3 spoilers / #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers / #khIII spoilers / #kingdom hearts III spoilers / #kh spoilers / #kingdom hearts spoilers / #playing: kingdom hearts

[mellz117]

Hi and welcome to part 5 of Mellz Plays KH Re:Com for the PS2

For those just joining me today here’s the previous posts about my experience thus far.

[ 1 ] _ [ 2 ] _ [ 3 ] _ [ 4 ]

We’re just about to leave the Destiny Islands and reach Sora’s endgame.

Namine meets Sora at the next floor and Sora finally starts to doubt his memory’s validity. 

Namine’s proportions, and in extension, Kairi’s, terrify me pre KH2. And Repliku shows up AGAIN to try to set things straight. Ugh do I have to fight him agai- Yup I sure do! How many fights is this?!

I lost twice, then utterly obliterated Repliku with Sonic Blade, Strike Raid, and Onmislash attacks. He didnt take kindly to that and took a pot shot at Sora.

Hes REALLY fuckin ready to kill Sora oh my god. That self satisfied sigh as he relishes the moment? Yikes.

and Namine kills Repliku before he can hurt Sora! I mean, good on you honey but are you ok? Larxene appears and continues to be The Worst. All she relishes in is emotionally tormenting a literal child. She does not get better.

She yeets Repliku across the room

And harasses Namine

Donald and Goofy caught up with Sora.

Well yeah you only had to go up one flight of stairs, Sora hadn’t gone far, how hard could it have been to find him?

Battle! Lost three times. Larxene is such a drama queen. “I can’t believe I lost to a bunch of losers” Then what does that make you, huh Larxene?  You lost, doesn’t that make you even more of a loser? Grown-ass woman calling a teenager a loser. Sounds like me lmao

So Namine explains to the gang about what she was made to do, constantly apologizing for what she did. Honey, no, Marluxia didn’t give you a choice!

Sora being an adorable, precious, wholesome dork.

I love him so much. I would die for him. He made a promise and when he does that, he keeps them, god damn it! I missed him so much omfg—

— …I’ve always had issue with how big his stupid thumb is.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy ascended to the next floor and made “super, duper big promise” to stay friends. And that’s supposed to make them not scared…?

ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL! READS THE SAME IN REVERSE! HELL YEAH LET’S GO!

*exploring the castle* You know for a group of people created from darkness, Org13 sure has a lot of white for their hideouts

There’s only one other person who would pay Marluxia a visit “ You have a lot of nerve to show your face around here, you treasonous bastard”.

And Axel’s like “I beg your fucking pardon? lmao”

“How long have you suspected my plan with Larxene?” Marluxia asks

They start fighting and Axel tries for a dramatic line. “The Organization’s betrayed. In that name, I will annihilate you”. What a dork.

—Axel fight! I’m expecting to have a difficult time with this one. AXEL? MORE LIKE ASS-HOLE! GOD DAMN IT! I cant ever fucking trust this stupid duck! Always using ice against an ice user, always using fire against a fire user. You’re no good, duck!

—Death count against Axel: 8 losses. Fitting as he’s the 8th member. Marluxia peaced out in the middle of the battle. He’s not interested in spectating.

I got a little lost. I ended up going in a circle trying to get back to where Axel and Marluxia fought because I’m dumb. I can get lost in an open field with one exit. It was a Naruto Shippuden game…

“Namine, erase Sora’s memory”. This begs the question; Can’t she erase MARLUXIA’S memory? I mean, it’s not like he’d know…

“A-hyuck we can remember everything for Sora!” Yeah you’ve done a great job up until this point /s

Repliku shows up. Marluxia doesn’t like that. I thought Nobodies didn’t have emotions? Oh wait wasn’t that retconned or something in KH3D? idk lmao

Ohp! He said it! He said the title of the game!

Marluxia battle death count: 3. He only had half a bar left on my 2nd death. What matters is that we won. Oh wait, just an illusion. Fuck you Marluxia. an illusion. Eat a dick.

Sora doesn’t hold grudges. He trusts Repliku to keep Namine safe. That’s so sweet. So precious. It may not actually be Riku but Sora don’t care. He loves all his friends, imitation or not.

This reminds me of Salazar in RE4, when he was eaten up by a giant plaga infected plant and became a boss monster.

Huh I only lost once on the final battle…

WAIT NEVER MIND! I forgot Kingdom Hearts bosses have MAAAAANY phases! First try on the final phase and I won. He gets easier and easier as his phases progress. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Nah he’s just getting worn down. These transformations take up a lot of energy. He’s tired.

Upon Marluxia’s death, Sora watches him fade away. With a scowl on his face, he leaves the battle arena (how he does this I have no idea). Savage.

The trio meets up with Namine and Repliku. “All I remember is my time with you and Namine" says Repliku. Not like his time with Sora was in any way positive. But regardless, they’re his. After a few more exchanges, he leaves the group.

Namine offers to put Sora’s memories back in order. After a few painful moments of contemplation, Sora makes his choice. “Make me like I was.” He decides, with the SADDEST expression on his face.

---So like, WHAT is with this pod? We know what Namine uses it for but why does it exist, assuming she’d never have to return someone’s true memories? It serves exactly ONE purpose and it’s not what Marluxia wanted.

“I’ll write a memo to thank Namine!” Jimmy pipes up. Well why can’t Jimmy JUST WRITE EVERYTHING ELSE THAT TRANSPIRED IN THIS GAME IN HIS JOURNAL FOR FUTURE SORA?

During the credits scene, we get a few clips. In one we see Repliku is absolutely Not Content with his situation. Axel appears before him and offers his hand.

I feel so emotional about the poem at the end of the credits

It took me 32 hours and 30 minutes to complete Sora’s campaign.  On to Riku’s. See you there? I’ll link part 1 when it’s ready.

There is always sleep between part and meet with our usual words on the usual street. So let us part like we always do… And in a world without you I’ll dream of you. When I come to, let us meet with our usual words on the usual street.

#mellz plays kh recom #Kingdom Hearts series #kingdom hearts re:chain of memories #square enix #Playstation 2 #kh recom #mellz post