#like i have over 60 asks. and ppl i actively write with

[a-quietly-crying-ostrich]

caught myself going into a rant in tags so why don’t i just make a post and go wild

reblogged a post abt good gift ideas and they mentioned cd’s and i’m getting a cd player this christmas which i’m really happy abt!!! i have like four cd’s rn but i should ask for a thing of blank ones. i don’t know how to put stuff on them but i swear i will fucking learn

physical stuff my beloved <333. im on my phone way to fuckin much so just move stuff i do on phone off of phone. i’m genius

read somewhere that you should get off your phone like an hr before going to bed but i’m usually reading fanfics then so i was thinking abt printing out fanfics.

main problem i see with that is formatting. i don’t want a printer paper per page, just smthn like half of one. but if you print double sided pages it doesn’t really line up

front side being red and back side being blue (those first two should be landscape not portrait but i don’t feel like going back n changing it :p. so if you print it like that and fold it hamburger style it just ends up being read/formatted like half of back page, all of front page, then other half of back page)

it goes kinda like that and idk the best way to get around it.

i could digitally format it in google docs so that the back,front,front,back turns out how i want but if i need to edit anything then the entire formatting would be fucked and it’d be really confusing jumping back n forth so i’d prolly get confused and print it wrong

i could make it so just one half of the front and one half of the back is printed then cut the bottom part off but that’d be wasting so much paper

and i don’t think i can just have it printed anywhere bc that’d be copyright infringement right? i mean im not selling them, they’d just be for personal use but idk

and i don’t wanna hand write them if i can avoid it. one fic i’ve been trying to figure out how to print is 60 pages long in google docs, two columns, 11pt arial, 1.15 spacing, landscape orientation. i’d lose my hand before i finished that shit.

idk but i have the whole winter break to figure it out so hopefully i find or come up with something.

kinda going back to the present list post, i think a toolkit is a really good idea! my stepmom got me one for last christmas (at least i think it was) and i fuckin love it.

i really wish i was taught how to use tools growing up i know jack shit. like i think i know how to use like half of the stuff in the kit theoretically but *i want to know all of it*

in my criminology class it was mentioned in a lecture that people with low self control prefer physical tasks over mental ones. i don’t have good self control that isn’t a surprise and i fucking LOVE to work with my hands when i get the chance.

(i was thinking, ppl with adhd usually have low self control (i know bc i have it skdhdj), could that be a reason we like physical tasks? food for thought)

i’m checking out of my dorm soon and we have to take everything out of our bathrooms (literally fucking everything) so i had to dismantle a tension rod soap rack holder and part of a little over the toilet cabinet. it’s dumb that we had to do that but holy shit the happy i got from doing the tasks. i had to unscrew four nails (real complex shit, i know) but i really liked doing it! like there was physical proof that i did that!!! holy fuck!!! i don’t get near that happy doing good on tests

idk just something about being able to do that was really validating to me. and i got to use my toolkit again!!

i asked my dad and stepmom if they could help teach me more &/or get more experience w tools n shit and they said yes! they built like half the furniture in their house so they know their shit. and they also said they’d help me learn how to cook more!

i love my mom and stepdad so fuckin much and couldn’t imagine growing up without them. but man did they not teach me many life skills :// what i did learn is what i actively asked about as i got older

my siblings on my dad’s side are just so much better prepared than me or my sister on my mom’s side that i live with. ngl i’m kinda jealous of them for that lol

like ~half a month ago during thanksgiving break my grandpa taught me how to check my oil and windshield fluid in my car and they’re such tiny details but i loved learning about those

headed down to stay w him tomorrow, think i may do a bit of info gathering and ask about things

hmmm…. i… am going to finish the rest of this in google docs holy fuck i should start a journal again but is that actual me or the adhd meds talking

#tldr physical shit good as fUCK #rlly want more physical pictures to put in my album #man brain really went flip flop #rant #ostrimch

[plan-d-to-i]

This is the anon who was responsible for asking about the origin of fanon jc… now what is the origin of jc bashing, etc? I feel like I am blessed to see fanfic from these tags adding up over time, don’t get me wrong, but do we really need to tag jc bashing for like our fanfic if let’s say we write him unfavorably for only five chapters because he is irrelevant to the story and he never appears again outside of the five chapters? What is the measurement for jc bashing? Some authors wrote jc being his canonical asshole self and doesn’t tag their fanfic because maybe jc is only mentioned, or cameo of him that adds nothing to the story etc. Some authors just wrote canon divergence and stories pertaining their canon characterization including jc and they don’t tag bashing as well, because they state that they wrote fanfic from the MXTX chinese novels or english translation but since it’s canon characteristics and let’s say the fanfic is 60 or 50 chapters and jc only appears in around ten chapters or more or less, and even then his appearances are brief, he only played major role once, twice, or maybe just irrelevant in there, like how do we even know the standard of the so-called bashing because in Lofter if we read jc bashing it’s literally really bashing as in like PIDW Airplane making fun of SJ and trolling him with karma stuff etc and something like that. AO3 english since coming to Lofter for fanfics had left me in a confusing I don’t know where to tag or how to tag this so-called bashing when you write canon characterization and have different standards of AO3 vs Lofter tagging system. I hope you don’t mind me airing this out or ranting in your ask.

air away :) This is a canon jc safe space lmao

I mean at this point I just tag almost everything I write about jc, jiang cheng. Unless I'm just daydreaming about his painful premature departure from this world...actually scratch that I just remembered this dog post I wrote a few days ago. He's an antagonist and an irritating little shit who shows zero growth, not to mention a fictional character so ?? What am I supposed to tiptoe around at this point? The block button is there for a reason. I find it hilariously self involved when jc stans are like TAKE IT OuT OF HISSSS TAGS!!!!!1111 >:-//// Let's be honest it's all about control for them. They just want to control what other ppl do. You don't see me going on their page telling them to take their trash "jc is the bEsT uNcLe to Sizhui the kid whose whole family he butchered it wOuLd b SOoo cUte whEn hE thReaTenS to BrEak hiS LEgs" out of the Sizhui tag.

And yes I think canon jc should just be tagged jiang cheng in fics. canon jiang cheng at best. But 'jc bashing'? When oftentimes it's STILL slightly softened canon? Nah. If it says "jc bashing" he better get dropped into an active volcano. What about all the fics where jc is fanon babysadangrygrape that are just tagged jiang cheng? Ain't no warning on that shit. aCtuALLY he'S rough on the outside but he has a toFu hEarTT!! Go in expecting Wangxian fluff and suddenly you're hit by WWX excusing jc's rage & casual homophobia & I'll break ur legs >:-/ bs bc it's his Lurrrve language & they're ‘brOtherS’. 🤢

#mdzs #jiang cheng #ugh

[thefloatingstone]

The whole “they’re just evil” is ableist too though. It’s basically saying well, we thought they were mentally ill, but no, they’re just evil. Similar to how people will say “you’re not depressed, you’re just lazy.” And the whole “evil child” trope can be dangerous. Some child abusers “justify” their actions by framing their neurodivergent (mentally ill, mentally disabled, autistic, etc) child as being evil or unnatural. “creepy” behaviours in movies are common in ppl that are neurodivergent.1/2

I think what it comes down to is that the horror genre is about intent in its subject matter.

The reason I like horror is because when horror is done well, it represents very clearly the fears and paranoias of the era the movie was made in.

Early horror movies (before the hayes code) had a LOT of subtext where the big fear usually was caught up in sex in some way or another. And not in an exploitative way. Movies like Cat People and Dr. Jekyl and Mrs Hyde are to do with young people who are engaged and, because it’s the 30s, are not sexually active with each other yet, but they WANT to be. And a lot of early horror has to do with sexual repression.

And then you have zombie movies which came into their own after Night of the Living Dead in 1969 and became a genre in the 70s. Zombie movies being a cultural fear of losing control of yourself and getting assimilated into a group which is slowly devouring your way of life. This can be a metaphor for immigrants, other religions, a change in social climate and old societal structures no longer being embraced by the younger generation (Zombie movies became super popular in the 70s, after the Vietnam war which was extremely protested by the younger generation, as well as racial tensions in the US rising as African Americans were coming more freely in society following the abolishment of America’s segregation in the 60s)

But some horror movies deal with fears which are universal and not contained in one one era. The fear of death is a big one but rather vague in of itself. And when framed in a movie can be rather shallow (like a slasher movie) or very deep and complex (like Jacob’s ladder or Masque of the Red Death). Other universal fears are things like war, home invasion by a criminal, being hunted (either by an animal or another human), the unknown (this often taking the form of “evil” in terms of ghosts and demons and possession etc etc), one’s own body succumbing to disease (which is where body horror comes from) and the loss of control of oneself (this is where mind control and possession and other dehumanising tropes are used, although these can cross over into the trope of cultural tension. The Invasion of the Body Snatchers is all about loved ones being replaced with unknown enemy creatures and was made (twice) during the US’ cold war with Russia)

One of the great universal fears is the concept of not being in control of one’s own mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re neurotypical or have a form of mental illness, the core concept of losing yourself to your own mind is a horrific one (and I mean this in terms of the concept, not the reality) so I feel horror movies that deal with this trope WELL, understand how to channel that fear into an effective story that resonates with its audience, regardless of who they are. However, this is VERY different than the much easier and lazier method of just claiming a bad guy is “crazy”. Because the neurotypical audience will still nod and go “yes it is very scary to think of people being crazy like that or even of myself losing my mind. That is a scary thought.” but it does NOT use the trope with the complexity and depth it needs to properly express that dark fear.

The other great fear, and one used FAR less frequently in horror movies simply because it is disturbing, is the innate fear parents have that a baby who they wish to love could have “something wrong with it.” not out of stigmatism, but because (most often) parents wish for the best for their children, and the concept of a child having a problem the parents can’t fix is terrifying. This is where movies like Eraserhead come from, however it also ties into the fear of mental illness.

There is also the thing that having mental illness within the bad guy character gives to horror but which is not only reserved for mental illness, and this is where the “evil” explanation comes from; and that is the horror that comes from the idea that a bad person is not someone you can recognise in the street as a threat. That you cannot see someone and immediately go “oh well they have horns so I KNOW they’re dangerous!” but that threat and danger and harm can hide in the nicest, kindest, most ordinary looking people. In modern times we now know you don’t need mental illness to be a threat and look normal, but I feel this is why mental illness is often used.

This brand of horror is also very important because it asks the audience “what is the difference between the person in the movie doing terrible things, and you, the audience member, who probably assumes themselves to be a good person?” Mental illness is a good answer to this because it gives the audience the uncomfortable thought of “if I had the same mental struggles, would I be doing terrible things like this too? What makes me “a good person”? Am I any different than the bad guy at all?”

Horror is a good genre because it shines a light on fears and insecurities and paranoias of human beings. Either culturally, or psychologically. And I feel the problem is that so often complex ideas and reasons BEHIND the horror is lazily boiled down to “oh well they were just crazy. That’s all.” which makes the audience not have to worry about it because “oh of course. They’re just crazy. Not like me. I’m not crazy at all.”

But this is…. this is bad writing :/ and as the previous post said (if you are the same anon) it is the using of the trope in a lazy way which reinforces itself as harmful. And you often see this in cheap horror movies who are NOT trying to say something about humanity’s deep rooted fears, but just want some teenagers to scream in the theater for 90 minutes at some fake blood and a “scary bad guy”.

I agree that modern movies should not reinforce bad stereotypes of mental illness as we often see in badly written lazy horror films, but I don’t think it’s a topic that should be untoucheable in terms of story telling. Because I feel then we deny a huge part of the human psychology.

hmmm…. how do I put this…..

Ok maybe this’ll make more sense.

Silent Hill 2 is a game where the entire subtext and plot is about depression. Without it being a plot point in any way, the game feels like it is trying to EXPRESS depression. And it expresses depression in the form of horror visuals both in terms of monsters and scenery. Depression is never mentioned and nobody talks about the symptoms of depression (not counting Angela’s suicidal thoughts but that’s not really the point here). Silent Hill 2 is a story about depression and fatal illness and suicidal thoughts. It is a game about the horror of those feelings… And you could even easily say the game even features a character with depression who is a murderer… but the game is not presenting depression as an “explanation”. But it is a game ABOUT depression. Through its visuals, sound design, atmosphere, music, it all builds together to present itself AS depression.

And I feel we need stories like that. It presents mental illness in a horrific light… but it’s… it’s different, you know? And I feel having the ability to tell horror stories about mental illness is important because then we can have stories like Silent Hill 2, which in a weird way becomes comforting if you’ve ever experienced depression. It’s like you go back to Silent Hill 2 when you’re in a depressive state and you just feel…. a little better? like “yes…. this is the emotion I am feeling. This is what it’s like. Somebdy else understands it, and this story resonates with me. And I am not alone.”

I know that is a completely different thing than what we were talking about regarding “bad guy characters in a horror movie have mental illness” but I feel it’s an important point…. because Silent Hill 2 is literally about a guy who killed someone and has a mental illness…. the difference is he’s not framed as a bad guy, but as sympathetic. WITHOUT condoning his actions.

And as for “evil” like “oh he’s not crazy he’s just evil”, I understand what you mean but I think of it more regarding either tied to religious beliefs which is a more personal fear and varies depending on who the person watching the movie is…. or the evil which is like…. Ted Bundy…. and I don’t really want to talk about that because it legit makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

(also Horror is AMONG my favourite genres or sub genres. But it depends on the film. But it’s a genre I legit am fascinated by, enjoy depending on the film, and have watched and read and own WAY too many books about).

A big function of horror movies is to acknowledge the fears humans carry within us, as well as the darker sides of humanity as a whole, and horror movies gives us a way to confront that, and not simply try to ignore it while it festers away in the back of our minds.

So it’s difficult because you can’t say “you can’t make a horror movie about x” because it ends up being more harmful than good…. but at the same time reinforcing stigmas that hurt oppressed groups is also something which should NOT be done.

This is why I tend to judge horror movies on a case by case basis X’D and also consider context, era, country of origin etc etc.

And it’s why I’m talking about this topic in such long posts. Because I feel it’s a complex problem.

But I fully agree we need a public ed campaign in teaching people about the context in which older horror movies were made and to understand how to be critical of their themes while still being able to be entertained by them.

….I didn’t even go into how monster movies like King Kong and Creature from the Black Lagoon are about cultural paranoias about people from different ethnicities and cultures “coming to steal our women”, and why you are seeing a lot more “monster fuckers” these days as our culture is slowly learning to be more empathetic to “those who are other”. Like…. I didn’t even go INTO that part of it.

…..I like horror u guys.

#C-Puff answers #Horror tropes #Anonymous

[matchamabs]

apparently theres some kinda ask meme going around and i got called the f u c k out by @pyrrhic-procastinator so lets see if i can do this right ok

1. List 3 things that make you happy.

im actually findin it hard to think of things christ. ok ok uhhh

1. buying old comics for my collection makes me pretty happy

2. crepuscular activities

3. drunk scrambled eggs

2. Which fictional character is most like you?

ok thats really hard bc there are lots of characters with lots of little snippets of me in them so its hard to find one that covers all bases but im gonna go with two that i think are the Most Notable.

- Asakusa Midori from Eizouken cuz we’re both raging autists with a trademark hat who acts like hot shit and then gets scared over absolutely nothin

- Jin Bubaigawara from BNHA n this one is like a special one to me ok cuz ive never seen a character (or anyone irl come to think abt it) who actually possesses one very specific quirk of mine n hes such a good depiction of what my daily life is like so i vibe immensely w him

3. What’s the thing you miss most since being in quarantine?

shaggin

4. Favourite snack?

i have phases of snacks tbh but i remember theres this one kind of christmas biscuit that they probably sold at lidls or smth and i havent eaten one in fucking y e a r s but i can still remember the taste and i could probably eat them forever

5. Describe your dream job.

Freelance animator for games and to work on my own series

6. Do you prefer being around people or enjoying your own company?

idk both but im normally more in need of alone time than together time so probably bein by myself right

7. What’s been the best day of your life so far?

last month i came 1st in tetris 99

8. Let’s get philosophical: what do you think happens when we die?

hole in the ground, black for eternity, family get drunk in a field for you, job done

9. If your house was on fire, what would be the one thing you would save? (The people and animals you live with are already safe)

i have this old double sided clock thing that belonged to my great grandma. its got a photo of her in it holding me as a baby. i dont think i could forgive myself if i let that get crispy

10. What’s the best way to win your heart?

cook with me, go thrifting with me, read comics with me and we’re probably already going out ngl

aw fuck i gotta tag ten ppl? i dont even know ten ppl. alright uhh lessee lets do @wrexingdrew my man aaaand @fucksplosion too ur sound as well lad @phantost how could i forget u but idk if this is still ur tumblr lmao. @frosty-tian idk if anyone else wants to take this on go right ahead but u better tag me ok

now for some questions hmm

1. whats ur favourite meme?

2. when u get takeaway, whats ur go to place to order from?

3. if u had to marry one of the wiggles, which one?

4. whats ur favourite type of weather?

5. what font do u hate the most?

6. if u were a dragon and had a hoard whats the hoard gonna be made of?

7. favourite studio laika film?

8. what decade aesthetic from the past century is ur favourite? (like roarin 20s or swingin 60s n stuff)

9. what shade of brown is your favourite?

10. would u like a jar of bees?

:))))) ur all mfin welcome lads. now apparently u gotta tag 10 ppl and write ur own 10 questions if u want but if ur lazy thats peng too 

#did u really think i could do Proper Questions #i actually agonised over them bc i didnt know what to write #i wanna know i wanna know #long post #probably

[kronos-the-timelord]

Dude, do all of the numbers for that getting to know you better ask! Or half bc 200 is a lot :0

ahhhhhh,, you so nice

1: My name? - Margaret

2: Do I have any nicknames? - maggie, mag, mags, maggles, at one point my friends called me parky

3: Zodiac sign? - libra

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? - i’ve never been too good at video games (but i like watching ppl playing them) and i’ve only ever had a wii so my sims kingdom was a favorite of mine

5: Book/series I reread? - divergent and pjo

6: Aliens or ghosts? - yes

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? - @kata-chthonia

8: Favourite radio station? - 103.3 fm, although i mostly listen to spotify now

9: Favourite flavour of anything? - grape and blue raspberry

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? - great or cool

11: Favourite song? - a to b by matt hires

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? - it usually has to do with what drew me to them in the first place followed up by a version ‘why do you think that?’ i like knowing how ppl think bc it gives me a better way to start understand their view

13: Favourite word? - aurora

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? - i can’t really remember, so i dont know what that says :/

15: Last song I listened to? - serial killer by moncrieff

16: TV show I always recommend? - dexter or if they don’t like blood and violence, any of john mulaneys specials

17: Pirates or ninjas? - i liked pirates when i was younger, but ninjas are cool

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? - any studio ghibli or song of the sea

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? - lately its been SLUT by bea miller

20: Favourite video games? - i really love boderlands, the art style is great

21: What am I most afraid of? - snakes and failing at something i’ve been saying that i wanted to do my entire life

22: A good quality of mine? - im nice??

23: A bad quality of mine? - im a bit aggressive and im really blunt about things

24: Cats or dogs? - dogs!! I like cats too but i dont know how to interact with them

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? - he’s a voice actor, but crispin freeman is really cool!

26: Favourite season? - fall and spring

27: Am I in a relationship? - yeah, but it’s long distance during the school year ;-;

28: Something I miss? - my boi,, he’ll be back soon tho

29: My best friend? @keencheckerboard and @memeathon

30: Eye colour? - brown

31: Hair colour? - brown with red and blonde highlights

32: Someone I love? - my mom

33: Someone I trust? - @keencheckerboard

34: Someone I always think about? - @memeathon

35: Am I excited about anything? - finals to be over!

36: My current obsession? - bnha tbh

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? - i loved avatar and ed, edd, and eddy

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - to an extent, but i dont tell them /every/thing

39: Am I superstitious? - kind of

40: What do I think about most? - right now, school

41: Do I have any strange phobias? - not really, i mean i overthink a lot of things, but there’s no phobias

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind

43: Favourite hobbies? - drawing/reading/writing/sleeping

44: Last book I read? - i think it was called stung, i actually finished it bc i wanted to complain about it properly

45: Last film I watched? - dumbo, my friend wanted to go see it, it wasnt good

46: Do I play any instruments? - i played clarinet for 3 years

47: Favourite animal? - dogs

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? - @wemakuu @wemakuutwo @keencheckerboard @memeathon @kata-chthonia

49: Superpower I wish I could have? - teleportation

50: How do I destress? - getting cozy and warm under my blankets with the lights off

51: Do I like confrontation? - i can be aggressive so i will be confrontational if i have to but i don’t go out of my way for it

52: When do I feel most at peace? - in my bed with the lights off

53: What makes me smile? - my friends, my boi, and goofy animal videos

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? - gotta be pitch black

55: Play any sports? - i played roller derby for 3 years

56: What is my song of the week? - really feeling be by hozier

57: Favourite drink? - …..water…. and a slushee

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? - i think last summer???

59: Afraid of heights? - nope

60: Pet peeve? - slow walkers

61: What was the last concert I went to see? - does my high school’s band count???

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? - nah

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? - ob nurse, i still do

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? - no, i’ve had ppl i tolerated turn into ppl i hate tho

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? - bhna, but i feel the hero drama would get annoying after awhile

66: Something I worry about? - failing my classes

67: Scared of the dark? - nope

68: Who are my best friends? - this is the same as 29

69: What do I admire most about others? - their drive and where their motivation comes from

70: Can I sing? - no ;-;

71: Something I wish I could do? - sing

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? - pay off my loans and (hopefully) for the rest of my college and then put whatever i had left into a savings account

73: Have I ever skipped school? - yes

74: Favourite place on the planet? - i think the smoky mountains are really pretty and i loved vacationing around them, but colorado was really neat too, so probs one of those places

75: Where do I want to live? - somewhere on the northeast coast!

76: Do I have any pets? - yeah!! He’s a doggo named dageus,,,, here he is,, the big boi!! (hes 121 pounds of love!!!!!)

77: What is my current desktop picture? - something @memeathon drew me

78: Early bird or night owl? - night owl

79: Sunsets or sunrise? - im usually awake during sunset, but sunrise is really pretty

80: Can I drive? - yeah!

81: Story behind my last kiss? - i was saying bye to my boi at the airport

82: Earphones or headphones? - earphones

83: Have I ever had braces? - yeah,, they weren’t fun

84: Story behind one of my scars? - i have a couple little ones from acne on my back but other than that i don’t have any

85: Favourite genre of music? - i think indie rock?? Is that a genre?? Punk maybe????

86: Who is my hero? - florence nightingale,, she was hella cool and i went to her museum in london

87: Favourite comic book character? - i didn’t read a lot of comic books but i always liked spiderman and witchblade

88: What makes me really angry? - when ppl make fun of my friends >:l

89: Kindle or real book? - i like real books but ebooks are nice for traveling!!

90: Favourite sporty activity? - roller derby or skating

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? - im not really sure what this question means????? But i didn’t like that in my middle school that the behavior coach(es) would already pick sides or would already hate kids that did nothing wrong and then in my high school no one cleaned up after themselves bc ‘the janitors can do it’ :/ it was really annoying

92: What was my favourite subject at school? - english/creative writing and art!!

93: Siblings? - i got an older brother who’s a big nerd

94: What was the last thing I bought? - i went to target last night and i got $68 worth of stuff including planty stuff, food, and gift stuff for my boyfriend’s moms

95: How tall am I? - 5’6” but i will not hesitate bitch

96: Can I cook? - yeah!

97: Can I bake? - yeah!

98: 3 things I love? - my friends/family, animals, and plants

99: 3 things I hate? - slow walkers, rasict/homo/trans/biphobic (anyone who just hates ppl for no reason tbh), and rude ppl >:l

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? - more girl friends,,, i’ve kinda lost contact with most of my guy friends over the years,,,,

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? - i feel more comfortable around other girls now but when i was younger i was okay with everyone

102: Where was I born? - in the cornfields of the midwest (i fucking hate this state)

103: Sexual orientation? - straight

104: Where do I currently live? - in the cornfields of the midwest, i am the creature you’re warned about, don’t walk alone at night

105: Last person I texted? - @memeathon : D

106: Last time I cried? - yesterday,,, finals hit me hard but i feel better now :D

107: Guilty pleasure? - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,, looking at gross stuff,,, like surgeries and sometimes those pimple popping videos,,,,,,,,

108: Favourite Youtuber? - i’ve been watching a lot of gordon ramsay videos lately but i think brandon rogers or sovietwomble are up there

109: A photo of myself. - heres one i took on my break at work

110: Do I like selfies? - no,,, i don’t really like looking back on photos of myself bc i think i just look weird,, like even in my super nice senior photos,,, or baby pictures,,

111: Favourite game app? - does neko astsume count???

112: My relationship with my parents? - it’s p good :D

113: Favourite accents? - i’m not really sure,,, i think just a flat accent, like midwestern bc its the one im most familiar with so its like homey???????

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? - japan,, nowhere in specific i just want to see the country

115: Favourite number? - 23!!!!

116: Can I juggle? - no

117: Am I religious? - im a polytheist (a bad one, but oh well)

118: Do I like space? - i love space!!!! Its so neat!!!!!!

119: Do I like the deep ocean? - no!!! Its awful!!!!

120: Am I much of a daredevil? - i think my friends think i am, but i dont really think so, i mean i’ll try anything if it sounds fun, but not everything

121: Am I allergic to anything? - not that i know of

122: Can I curl my tongue? - yes

123: Can I wiggle my ears? - no

124: Do I like clowns? - not really

125: The Beatles or Elvis? - a little bit of each

126: My current project? - my creative writing portfolio ;-; its not that hard but im trying to figure out how to get this character right

127: Am I a bad loser? - depends on what i lost in, like if it was a game i didn’t really care about than no, but if it was something that i cared about a lot than yeah

128: Do I admit when I wrong? - i always try to, but sometimes i don’t

129: Forest or beach? - forest,, i don’t like the beach,, too much sand

130: Favourite piece of advice? - it’s not really advice but just the reminder that your current situation is not your final destination

131: Am I a good liar? - i think so

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? - slytherin (its funny bc im scared of snakes)/ dauntless/ and i think district 6 (i live in the crossroads of america so yeah)

133: Do I talk to myself? - all the fucking time

134: Am I very social? - sometimes, i am kinda a social introvert

135: Do I like gossip? - i like to hear it but not be part of it

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? - i have a bullet journal and i try to keep up with my habit and mood tracker daily

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? - no, but i have gotten like high d’s and low c’s before that make me sad

138: Do I believe in second chances? - depends on what they messed up on the first chance, like if someone cheated then no

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? - i would like to say that i would return it with no money taken, but im just not sure :/

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? - yeah, if they’re really trying and realize that they need to, but even if they do change i know not everyone will accept them back into their lives and it shouldn’t be expected that they should after someone changes for the better

141: Have I ever been underweight? - no

142: Am I ticklish? - very and i have this weird tactile thing thats like i dont like ppl lightly touching me, it freaks me out

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? - no

144: Have I ever been on a plane? - yes!! I love flying!! Its so much fun!!

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? - uhhhh,, im going to go by face,, i think for me - shailene woodley bc when she had her short hair ppl told me i looked like her @meme - liana liberato, she got the round face @keen - winona ryder (but back in beetlejuice) boyfriend - tucker west, i know he’s not an actor but he looks so much like him,,,, also it took me forever just to find these guys so im not finding family :p

146: Have I ever been overweight? - no

147: Do I have any piercings? - i have my ears pierced!

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? - hari jurono,,, i love him ;-;

149: Do I have any tattoos? - no, but i already have some picked out that i want

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? - ummmm??? Im not sure?????

151: Do I believe in Karma? - yeah

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? - contacts during the day and glasses at night

153: What was my first car? - i have a subaru crosstrek named inko!!! I love her!!

154: Do I want children? - no

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? - my mom tbh,,, shes really smart

156: My most embarrassing memory? - omfg,, so this goes to show how oblivious i am about social interactions, but it was my first week in college and this junior was talking to me and i didnt realize he was flirting with me until after we traded snapchats and he left, so i panicked and never said anything to him again and blocked him

157: What makes me nostalgic? - when i walk around my neighborhood sometimes (i live near the preschool i went to) and i was over at my elementary school almost a year ago now, but i remember walking down the hall and seeing all the different teachers there now and it made me sad

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? - yes, just last week

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? - brains

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? - darker colors like black and blue, but im trying to get lighter ones in there too

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? - yes, many times, but the one that sticks out to me is that one night i woke up at like 5 am for no reason, but i was just suddenly wide awake and something felt off, so i was trying to get comfy again and flipped over on my other side so i was facinging the door into my room instead of my wall and in front of my door was a tall black figure with red eyes staring at me and when i blinked it went away,, now i know this can be explained by some other things but with my family it seems more likely to be paranormal

162: What do I hate most about myself? - uhh, i procrastinate way too much

163: What do I love most about myself? - i always support my friends

164: Do I like adventure? - depends on the adventure,,, i like traveling, but not too much walking bc i have bad knees

165: Do I believe in fate? - not really

166: Favourite animal? - question 47

167: Have I ever been on radio? - no, but i was on my school’s announcements and i hated it

168: Have I ever been on TV? - no

169: How old am I? - 19

170: One of my favourite quotes? - “The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment could be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed”

171: Do I hold grudges? - im petty

172: Do I trust easily? - no,, im just cautious around ppl bc i just don’t know them

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? - some of them

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? - im not too sure,,, i got a p cool backpack for my birthday tho that i use everyday

175: Do I dream? - yeah, cant remember too many tho

176: Have I ever had a night terror? - no??

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? - can’t remember a lot after i wake up, but i just recently had one with some bnha characters in it, i can’t remember what happened, i just know that they were there

178: An experience that has made me stronger? - i know this might sound a bit morbid, but my aunt’s funeral, it was the first funeral i went to where i understood what was happening and it made me more open to learning and accepting death

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? - want to fucking die,,, i’ve never understood ppl who are scared of dying/want to live forever,, like why would you want that??? What’s the point??? You’ll just watch everyone you love die,,, i know it’s going to be hard on me when that happens to my closer family members, but even the new ppl you befriend,, i just couldn’t

180: Do I like shopping? - yeas

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? - tax evasion

182: What does “family” mean to me? - the ppl who i care about deeply and who love me, not all of them are blood related and not all the blood related ones are part of it

183: What is my spirit animal? - idk?????? Maybe a turtle???

184: How do I want to be remembered? - tbh, i don’t really want to be remembered

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? - drawing

186: What is my greatest failure? - im not sure

187: What is my greatest achievement? - uhh, i feel like its hard to point at a specific point and be like “that was the best thing i could have done, if i didn’t do that i wouldn’t be who i am today”

188: Love or money? - money

189: Love or career? - career

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? - probably to some point in the future,, i dont know where tho

191: What makes me the happiest? - the ppl i care about being happy

192: What is “home” to me? - the house i currently live in,, my family is here and im surrounded by ppl i love,, it’ll probably change with time, but for now its here

193: What motivates me? - spite

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? - it’s important to keep moving forward, don’t let the past hold you down

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? - kind of, i think it would be p cool

196: A movie that scared me as a child? - it wasn’t a movie but i know the animated wolf from peter and the wolf freaked me out

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? - i hated mushrooms, but i love them now

198: Zombies or vampires? - vampires

199: Live in the city or suburbs? - suburbs super close to city

200: Dragons or wizards? - DRAGONS

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? - its silly but when i was younger it would be my mom and i going to the mall downtown and the escalators were missing the part that connected them to the floor so you had to hop over it and when we would get to the 4th floor i would miss the jump and fall

202: How do I define love? - i know a lot of ppl are like “i would die for you or kill for you” something along those lines but i think it’s more living for someone, wanting to see them accomplish everything they wanted, being there for them during their lows203: Do I judge a book by its cover? - yeah, i wont pick up something that doesnt catch my eye

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? - no

205: Do I like my handwriting? - yeah!! Its loopy

206: Sweet or savoury? - sweet

207: Worst job I’ve had? - ive liked all the jobs ive had

208: Do I collect anything? no

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? - a hoodie/sweater of some kind

210: What is on my bucket list? - going to greece

211: How do I handle anger? - i usually rant for a bit, maybe cry to get the extra hormones out, maybe break something

212: Was I named after anyone? - no, but i did have the same name as my great grandma

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? - yes

214: What TV character am I most like? - im been watching bnha a lot so i think either kirishima or uraraka

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? - i can cross my eyes and then move one of them

216: Favourite fictional character? - ,,,,, im not sure,, i really love eric from divergent

#that took forever #it kept getting deleted and i would have to start over #sorry it took so long #selfie #????

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house! 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl! 

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily” 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit! 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role! 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

[bettysnooze]

9, 13, 16, 8, 10 !

10. which muse is the most fun to write for?

already answered here !!

16. which muse is most willing to fight another muse?

depends on what they do tbh but like if this is ‘fighting for no reason’ than definitely makaria, and if it’s bc they’re an isle kid or like half-animal then it’s otto

and ofc makaria and otto would just 100% fight each other

~*~*~*~*~*~ okay so somehow i got all the long ones kjhbfevkhe so READMORE for otps/notps and How I Met My Muse (also since this got so long i’ll answer 13 on another ask!!

8. what is each of your muses otps? notps?

so this is gonna be like ‘i once shipped them’ and ‘so many crushes’ (I’LL USE THE SLASH)and it could have been for like five minutes or five weeks so pls welcome to my mind

betty otps: betty/ranon, betty/happiness, betty/feeling-protected, betty/melissabetty notps: like romantically every other guardian kid bc she is literally their mother/sister

veronika otps: VERONIKA/NOELLE, also veronika/a-good-loving-familyveronika notps: veronika/not-good-loving-families

makaria otps: MAK/BAIN, mak/talon JHBCVKDJHFEBJ A MESSmak notps: mak/stress

hershey otps: hershey/ophelia, hershey/self-care, hershey/self-confidence omfghershey notps: hershey/self-destructive tendencies

cestrum otps: cestrum/misty, cestrum/relaxationcestrum notps: cestrum/lola (i stg this was a crackship idea once and lord almighty)

aiwei otps: aiwei/juniper, aiwei/happiness, aiwei/finding-out-more-about-his-family, aiwei/BECOMING-A-REAL-BOY-BC-HE-WAS-ONLY-A-BABY-WHEN-HE-DIEDaiwei notps: aiwei/confrontation :(

otto otps: otto/common-sense, otto/open-mindednessotto notps: otto/any-of-his-dreams-coming-true, otto/winning

illyria otps: ROLLY POLLY OLLY (illyria/ronan), illyria/the-sea, illyria/comfortillyria notp: illyria/not-being-near-the-sea (this is happening rn jfc), illyria/discomfort

kirsa otps: uM KIRSA/SHEN (SHIRSA???? SHIH TZU???), kirsa/talking-about-her-emotions-instead-of-passive-aggresively-making-them-into-playskirsa notps: kirsa/not-being-honest its an issue

dignan otps: dignan/being-himself, dignan/darcy CAN I LET THE POOR BOY LIVE ? NO ?, dignan/FUTURE BOYFRIEND WHERE ART THOU, dignan/baseball the real otp thodignan notps: dignan/closeted

helen otps: helen/swords, helen/coranza, helen/angel, helen/shae, I GOT SO MANY, helen/being-herself, helen/no-responsibilitieshelen notps: helen/keeping-things-to-herself :(

penelope otps: penelope/money, penelope/being-soft, penelope/coming-to-terms-with-her-horrible-upbringingpenelope notps: penelope/being-selfish jcvnfklrfjvbwr

9. why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

( BETTY ): i knew tasha and rhi from a previous rp we were all in, and they’d played guardian characters too and i aLWAYS wanted to play a guardian character but i didn’t have any ideas back then, but then they were like “hey you should join us” and i was like “BOY OH BOY”. sandy was always my favourite guardian, and i had just finished rping a daughter-of-morpheus character so dream powers were like my thing and boom, betty mansnoozie was born aka the sweetest, most good character i’ve ever written. ALSO i’ve always had sibling-ish relationships with rhi so like the betty/jake relationship goes back a LOOONG way

( VERONIKA ): after betty i knew i wanted a darker character, and i was like “okay so who is like completely unforgivable” and i immediately thought of rasputin. there was also another rasputin child around at the time, and they had gotten rasputin’s powers so i was like!! what if i made a kid that wanted those powers, who wanted to be a villain and to be like their parent?? veronika’s gone a long way since then and really like i’m so proud of her and i love her so much, she’s just gone through a lot i lOVE HER

( MAKARIA ): SO OKAY LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ME AND HADES BECAUSE HONESTLY, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS. i first played a character based on panic (hades’ sidekick) like aaaaages ago, and then i played actual disney hades in another rp. needless to say i really fucking love hades as a character. and betty was too nice, and veronika was too cynical and kept to herself, and i really wanted another mean-spirited CHATTERBOX (because i myself am such a chatterbox i mean look at this). i lowkey had a child of hades in a closed rp sort of situation, his name was macario (because i’d wanted a son) but the original is makaria, and i love my girls sO makaria was born. i also love zendaya, and previously hades had always been white but so much art on tumblr depicts persephone as this beautiful black woman so !! BOOM. i also wanted to try a different villain-kid-parent dynamic, because veronika ends up hating her dad but mak like 100% defends hades still like even to this day

( HERSHEY ): I WANTED A BOY LMAO and i was really into bts at the time so i’m like okay hmm where would yoongi fit in?? i re-watched wreck-it-ralph randomly and i remembered that i always wanted to try a sugar rush child so i was like heeeeeeeeeyyyy :)))). and it kinda just all fell into place because i’d also been interested in making a character that loved cars and racing (fast and the furious got me so bad). and i liked the idea of having another character with some sort of ability, and it was so interesting figuring out how hershey was going to fit into the auradon world bc he was originally virtual sO YEAH. and also the name came like in a second. FUN FACT, hershey von schweetz’s fc (in a different time before BTS took over my life) was going to be hailee steinfeld and now look at wHO USES HAILEE STEINFELD

( CESTRUM ): so after the craziness and Extra-ness of makaria and hershey i know i wanted someone more chill. i had always loved alice in wonderland i knew i wanted a son of the caterpillar because 1) alan rickman’s voice is God and 2) i always wanted to rp the caterpillar in like so many disney rps but i never got the chance lmao. so the idea for cestrum actually came even before i found the perfect fc (kibum), and it took me ages to find the perfect fc. i knew he was going to be weird and quiet but also talkative but also nOT? and just a different moral compass and way of thinking from everyone else. i was so sure about applying for cestrum and it was only after that i was like “ok but am i going to be smart enough to play this like 5000 IQ person wtf did i get into” and yEAH. also i always like making new characters with types that (during that time of the rp) aren’t so common yet, so having this stoic character was like yEAAAAAHHHH

( AIWEI ): so hershey and cestrum are my first boys and this is basically the start of my “one boy after another” streak and then i got AIWEI. the real babe. everyone’s been pretty mature so far, or like dealing with a lot of responsibility etc. and now i wanted someone who would be like a real teenager (more or less) and just have that childlike wonder and be rly innocent tbh. so aiwei is all of this, and he’s young and inexperienced but the twist was that he’s actually this boy who died in a fire when he was a baby and his father, in the underworld, resurrected him and performed some magic frankenstein stuff to make him grow older. and he’s the oldest out of all the kids but he’s been a baby 60% of this life until elder gutknecht finally got all the tools necessary to make him old and i jUST !! also i really loved that tin-man song from the wizard of oz. my actual baby, aiwei gutknecht i love him and will die for him

( OTTO ): AND AFTER ALL THE NICE, SEMI-NICE PEOPLE i was like “so what’s happening with the isle thing right now do ppl not like them like is there active resentment or what” and then i was like “what if i had a character that did the active resentment!!” and otto white was born. i knew he was going to be a jackass. i knew he was going to be anti-isle. and i knew he had to be a prince and a kid of one of the ‘original’ disney princesses. and i ended up choosing snow white because she’s technically the ‘oldest’ and there was evie and vera and i was like aayyyyy conflict. but yeah so otto was going to be the personification of fear and bias against isle kids, and i thought it’d be fun to play with that politics and society thing that i’ve never really done before. otto’s my first character that is actually irredeemably an asshole. i wanted to see how far i could go and where i could go with a character that was actively trying to not change. i was super nervous about applying for him tho bc like i knew he was going to insult a lot of people and i didn’t want to be like hated rip bUT it turned out well so YEH

( ILLYRIA ): i’ll be honest i watched pirates of the carribean and like calypso/davy jones is still the otp of otps for me. and i once had my fortune-telling phase and i saw valentine was there anD ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY TO USE A FILIPINO FC !! HECK YEAH !! and at this point i wanted to like branch out from my usual characters and try something different, to add new things about characters so i thought about illyria’s aversion to touch. and i knew she was going to be stoic and weird like cestrum, but she was also going to be charming and i wanted to see how that would go and it’s hard getting into illyria’s head sometimes but she’s like a Fave

( KIRSA ): so i watched this movie called “the darjeeling limited” and it’s basically about this dysfunctional set of siblings – one of them feels super responsible for the other two but is a big mess, the other sort is more put together but has problems he actively avoids, and then the last is this playwright who’s been in love with the same girl for like 10 years and falls in love easily. and i was like “who does that remind me of???” SO TBH the idea for kirsa first started out as a brother for the stahlbaums but then i realised there were no more spaces and i was like “tHE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY!!” and the rest is history. so kirsa is the dramatic playwright who falls in love too easily but also doesn’t know how to love properly, and she drinks and smokes and has all these vices and she’s still 17 so like what a hot mess. she’s as talkative as mak and as flirty as hershey but kirsa is less put-together and although she thinks she knows herself, she really doesn’t. she needs guidance pls

( DIGNAN ): so this really just began as a “i wanna get in on this waters family drama” business LMAO. and i love sarah’s misty so i wanted to see how it would go if she had a little brother. it also made a bit of a change because most of my characters are like the ‘older’ siblings or friends and i wanted more young people so i thought of dignan!! i also wanted a character that would be more pro-authority than other characters i’ve had before (dig’s always going to think highly of the auradon royalty bc he understands them and knows they don’t rly have much choice sometimes and that they try their best). and i chose joe keery (aka steve harrington, love of my life) as an fc bc i JUST FINISHED WATCHING STRANGER THINGS and charlie heaton was darcy, and natalia dyer was being used too and i was like hEYYY FC CONNECTIONS. 

               FUN FACT: dignan’s two defining things right now (baseball and being gay) weren’t even in the cards at the start, he was literally supposed to be more john watson, i’m-gonna-be-a-serious-doctor and like be fun but a guy who loved to study. but now he’s sporty and he’s figuring out this new part of himself and he’s literally my actual favourite character right now i love dig so much. also i needed a character that would 100% share my love for the 80s (hershey loves 80s music but only sings to annoy ppl so its not the sAME). and now dig has the hair and the fashion sense and he loves 80s music too man.

( HELEN ): the idea for helen really began with like this ‘bodyguard’ idea. i wanted a character that was like 100% protective. they were going to be this warrior, trained-as-a-child kind of person, and they were gonna be connected to royalty. i first tried this with kirsa but that didn’t work out, and then i tried it with dignan but he was too soft and easily persuaded tbh he can never be mad at his royals. and then i thought of tangled (and the mess the hoods and the greenes were in at the time LMAO). 

helen was first gonna be max’s child (for the full guard effect) but then i saw a space opening for rapunzel and eugene’s child and !! and then she became princess warrior, who wanted to protect her people rather than rule them and LIKE WHO DOES THAT REMIND ME OF??? PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA THAT’S WHO so seriously fun fact, a lot of the inspriation for helen is leia. and i chose the name ‘helen’ because of helen of sparta, a beautiful woman who started the longest war, and together with the fact that helen is very much a fighter of wars rather than the starter (and she has low self-esteem rip) its so fun i love helen, my sword princess child

( PENELOPE ): so i have an asshole auradonian, and mak is like simmering down, i knew i wanted an asshole isle person. and mak/blythe have such an awesome friendship and i loved blythe’s character and all the people in the cinderella family and world and i knew i wanted to get some of that action ;)))) so i rewatched the 2015 movie (I LOVE CATE BLANCHETT SO MUCH) and then i rewatched ‘ever after’ which is this 90s cinderella movie with drew barrymore. after watching ever after, i knew exactly how i wanted this daughter of drizella to be like. she’s going to be the worst parts of mak and kirsa (they’re bitches but like nice ones) and just be this snooty sugar baby gold-digger. she knows exactly what she wants, she knows she’s going to get it. she’s part daisy buchanan, jordan baker, very much this hedonistic character who understands life as being good if you have money and status. such an old idea but it’s what she learned from her fAMILY. 

a lot of penelope’s character came from me wanting to explore what i’d found with otto, the unapologetic asshole, but now she had reasons to be. otto’s rich and gets ltierally everything he wants so he sucks even more because he’s still mean-spirited – but now we have penny, who grew up with nothing but wanted everything, and her grandmother and mother put all their hopes and dreams on her, told her not to associate with her nicer aunt and cousin and even her little sister – and she’s an asshole. literally guys penelope is going to change and become better i just dunno how yet but shE WILL

13. what’s a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses?

THIS ASK GOT WAY TOO LONG ALREADY, BUT I GOT THIS NUMBER IN ANOTHER QUESTION SO I’LL ANSWER IT THEEEEERE

#the whole 'why were you drawn to ur characters' thing #eventually became like 'A History of Ally' #jehbvkwhebvkrhje #I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS #christ it got so long #i can literally write essays about my kids #ooc; #missingapulse #m

[sighfrancisco]

All the Greek pantheon asks! I was just gonna pick a few but there aren't that many

!

Aphrodite: What do you love most about yourself? fuckin uhhhhhh,,,,probably my empathy bc it really fucks me over a lot but it’s also paved the way for some of my most emotionally intimate relationships

Apollo: Do you have any talents? i’m told that i write & draw decently

Ares: What small thing makes you angry? when the toilet paper goes the wrong way

Artemis: What are you hunting for in life? happiness & some vague illusion of adventure. which used to be like. i’m gonna work in forensics and solve mysteries for a living! but these days it’s more like fuck yeah i wanna teach english & history & have a little house or apartment with people i care about & spend time with my best friends & sometimes drive to places and explore them just because i can. take ridiculous & interesting vacations. go whale-watching one day

Athena: What is/was your best school subject?it was always a tie between english and history and in college it’s definitively english lmao

Demeter: Do you miss anyone? ye

Dionysus: Do you drink alcohol? If so, what’s your beverage of choice? this is a loaded question. i’ve kinda sworn off liquor forever because of one too many Bad Nights™ and I’m not drinking at all for 60 days to prove to myself that i can. i’m gonna be a wine mom now. what /tastes/ the best to me is champagne, lol

Eros: How do you define your sexuality? (vague hand gestures, an interpretive dance, smashes a window) y'know? (i’m pan + poly)

Gaia: Where’s your favorite place in the world? my grandma’s farm in northern michigan

Hades: Have you ever had a near-death experience? lol so many

Hecate: What do you think of magic? i’m literally a witch but i also have less faith in ~magic~ than i probably should. i recognize that lots of the rituals and whatnot i do that produce results are my own will at work rather than cosmic forces but i’ve had some experiences that utterly affirmed my belief in…something else & i love things like tarot. my views on spirituality are kinda complex and in this weird mix of hyperrational and wildly superstitious so hmu for more about that if you’re curious

Helios: Do you sunburn easily? HELLA

Hephaestus: What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever made or built? i once did this painting where i took photos of this rly cool tree that a ton of ppl had carved their initials into, decoupaged it onto canvas in intervals (like, a pic of the base of the tree near the bottom, a pic of the branches at the top, etc), and painted the spaces between the photos to make a tree comprised of photos and paintings. that was p cool. similarly i once smashed a disco ball with a hammer and used the mirrored tiles in a painting (which was weirdly also of a tree lol)

Hera: Are you the jealous type?not rly? it’s more like i’m the anxious type where i’m like. they like them better than me because i am THE WORST !!!!

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything? a single piece of candy corn and i think a fake septum ring once from this rly shitty store (i cant remember if i went through with it or not)

Hestia: Where’s your home away from home? prob also my grandma’s farm in northern michigan. or i can be cheesy and say anywhere with my pals and it would also b accurate

Hyperion: Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets. sunrises generally mean that i’ve stayed up way too late again and it’s depressing lmao

Hypnos: What was your most recent dream about? it was a sleep-paralysis fueled nightmare! i also keep having these bizarre slice of life dreams feat. @tornad001 that are literally just everyday conversations that could happen or have happened that don’t seem to hold any deep significance but have been happening since we’ve been living together this summer

Iris: What’s your favorite color palate? i like pastels a lot as well as deep shades of red

Kronos: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever eaten? what does this……….Mean (i guess you could say anything i eat with lactose bc i’m hella lactose intolerant but i Keep Doing It)

Nemesis: What’s a time you helped deliver justice? calling CPS on someone in my own life

Nike: What’s your most recent accomplishment? tbh? a B+ in bio lab

Nyx: What’s your favorite nighttime activity? ;)

Pan: What do you do for fun? ;;)) (video games, reading, reading /fanfic/, tumblr, movies, wikipedia articles, news articles)

Persephone: What’s your favorite season of the year? fall i think. my aesthetic is dependent on chilly weather

Poseidon: What’s your favorite sea creature? killer whales are one of my Special Interests and i will ramble about them for hours if left undeterred

Rhea: What’s your favorite type of nature? anything near a body of water (ideally freshwater)

Selene: What’s your favorite phase of the moon?full, esp when it’s a harvest moon

Tartarus: What’s your personal hell? tbh i went through it a few days ago and i survived so fight me binch i’ve been to hell and back (and back to hell…and back)

Thanatos: Is there anyone you just really, really hate? yeah

Uranus: What are your zodiac signs? leo according to the old, cancer according to the new (which is more accurate)

Zeus: What do you think about thunderstorms? love em

thanks for asking!

#cw alcohol #a #alcohol mention

[bangtan-spells]

92 Truths~  tag game

Rules:  write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people.

Thanks to @ulookatme-ilookintoyou for taggin us 💕

Em👸🏽

LAST…

[1] drink: Cold green tea!

[2] phone call: Called my aunt to please pick me up hahaha

[3] text message: I think it was to the same aunt.

[4] song you listened to: Fun by Troye Sivan.

[5] Time you cried: yesterday evening, I’m super sensitive for a lot of things going on in my life so yeah, I was talking about it and cried a lil tiny bit

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: uh no (don’t think I would anyway)

[7] Been cheated on: hmmm let’s say no, but I think one of my boyfriends did, I’m just not 100% sure about it, the asshole...

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes! it was a friendship sacrifice so... but still yuck.

[9] lost someone special: Yes, but not recently.

[10] Been depresed: Yes, been there.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: lol yes, and I don’t like to remember those times, thank you very much.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

[12] White

[13] Pink

[14] Purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Met a lot of people, but I don’t consider them friends yet whatsoever.

[16] fallen out of love: Nah

[17] laughed until you cried: Of course! it’s one of life’s pleasures

[18] found ppl were talking about you: nothing bad actually, just nice things, I’m cool like that 😎

[19] met someone who change you: I guess not?

[20] found out who your true friends are:They are the same as always!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: No

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Most of them, I’m not that active on fb anyways.

[23] do you have any pets: No, sadly.

[24] do you want to change your name: Well, this is tricky, I’m not the biggest fan of my name but I guess it’s alright to keep it.

[25] what did you do your last birthday: Chilled with grandpa and slept on his bedroom hahaha, I celebrated it like 9 days later.

[26] what time did you wake up: 5:10am (dying internally)

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with a friend and simultaneously reading one of the new requests we got for Jin that I finished (I’m my number one fan💞 gotta keep myself going)

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Leaving this country.

[29] when was the last you saw your mother: I honestly can’t recall exactly, like two months? one, or more? something of the sort.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I guess my personal health, if I could.

[31] what are you listening right now: Touch by Troye Sivan!

[32] have you talked to someone named Tom: Never.

[33] something that is gettin on your nerves: Inefficient people! jesus freaking christ, I’ve been dealing with them the whole day and I just hate it, I don’t have time for inefficiency  because other’s don’t freaking do what they have to!!!

[34] most visited websibe: Have to be tumblr and youtube.

[35] elementary: Finished, I was cute, naive and nerdy.

[36] high school: Finished, I was a cool nerd through that hahaha.

[37] college: Finished two years ago! I was cooler and fabulous, burned my eyelashes studying in almost every semester, college made me grow up a lot and learn a lot of things about myself and others, I’m glad it’s already over but it was a good experience🤓

[38] hair color: Dark brown.

[39] long or short hair: I’m fan of both, but currently I’m digging long hair the most.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Awn, yes, I actually met such a fine man past week, I’m speechless, he’s boyfriend material and I’m 8 out of 10 seeing him at work very soon again aaaahhh

[41] what do you like about yourself: Physically, my body shape, my freckles and beauty/birth marks, my eyes, my voice, my hands. About my personality, hmmm, my endurance, my drive to succeed, my constancy, my imagination, my strong will, my confidence on the days it shines. I’m trying to tell myself the things I love about me more.

[42] piercings: On my ears only.

[43] blood type: B-

[44] nickname: Em, Enicito, Yani, some in my family call me maravillita which is something like little wonder too.

[45] relationship status: Single (but mentally in a long term relationship wih my alpha boyfriend Jin 💕 )

[46] zodiac sign: I’m a Scorpio babe.

[47] pronouns: She/Her

[48] fav tv show: GOT, Say Yes To The Dress, Cupcake War, the gourmet channel, oh and what not to wear.

[49] tattoos: A tiny one on my right ribs.

[50] right or left hand: I use the right.

FIRST…

[51] surgery: None yet.

[52] piercings: None besides the ones on my ears.

[53] best friend: Mars💖

[54] sport: Llike the first I played? idk must have been volleyball, it was the only one I was good at.

[55] Vacations: God, must have been to the capital I suppose.

[56] pair of trainers: I have no idea what this is.

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Pineapple.

[58] drinking: Cold green tea.

[59] im about to: Get into bed and probably talk until late with a friend that is staying over.

[60] listening to: Shape Of You, by Ed Sheeran (love,love,love)

[61] waiting for: Success, luck and wealth in my future!

[62] want: A big big chocolate bar, I’m craving it, oh and flips too but I’m currently banned from buying sweets.

[63] get married: Hopefully I will someday with Mr. Right.

[64] career: I’m a Lawyer.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: both, but I’m picking hugs.

[66] lips or eyes:  I recently discovered I have a thing for full lips, but I’m still picking eyes for this.

[67] shorter or taller: On the man I like? Taller❤️ in anybody else, whatever.

[68] older or younger: I guess older.

[69] romantic or spontaneous: Awn both, I cannot...

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms to pick me up with because I’m a princess!!! 🙈

[71] sensible or loud: Let’s say sensible,but not that sensible.

[72] hook up or relationship: hahaha what is this? this depends of the situation and person you’re being with, but a relationship it is.

[73] troublermaker or hesitant:  A perfect mixture of both. Hesitancy gets on my nerves and a total troublemaker would get on my bad side sometimes.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: Yeah.

[75] drank hard liquor: Yes, in this country you go ride or die with liquor.

[76] lost glasses/contac lenses: Yes, when I was a child I lost my glasses.

[77] turned someone down: Yes.

[78] sex on the first date?:  Not yet honey.

[79] broken someone’s heart: I guess not? Idk

[80] had your heart broken?: Yes, it’s all part of experience, makes you learn good things for the rest of your life.

[81] been arrested?: No.

[82] cried when someone died?:Yes, when my grandma did.

[83] fallen for a friend: I had a crush on a friend once.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: Absolutely, I try to always do it.

[85] miracles?: Yes

[86] love at first sight?: No. Attraction at first sight on the other hand, yes.

[87] santa clouse?: hahaha I will if he brings me gifts. I need new makeup Santa, please.

[88] kiss on the first date?: Yes, if the feel is right.

[89] angels?: A total yes for this.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Mars 👸💞

[91] eye color: Dark brown

[92] favorite movie: The Corpse Bride it’s an all time favorite, no matter my age.

Mars 👸🏻

LAST…

[1] drink: Black coffee. 

[2] phone call: The bank, cries.

[3] text message: a friend to meet up later!

[4] song you listened to: Sexy Movimiento by Wisin Y Yandel (why every time I do these things I’m listening to reggaeton???)

[5] Time you cried: I don’t know, two weeks ago, yey, beating records right here, no cry no more. 

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: Yes, and it’s no fun lmao.

[7] Been cheated on: Yes.

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh yes, I wish I could unkiss.

[9] lost someone special: Yes.

[10] Been depresed: Yes.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah lol more than I’d like to admit.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

[12] Pink

[13] Black

[14] Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes, some didn’t last but yeah.

[16] fallen out of love: No.

[17] laughed until you cried: Yes!!! and oh god it’s the best feeling ever.

[18] found ppl were talking about you: Yes yes, good and bad, but we can’t control what other people do or think so...

[19] met someone who change you: Nah.

[20] found out who your true friends are:I found out this a long time ago.

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: No.

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: I don’t use Facebook lol but when I had one I knew a lot.

[23] do you have any pets: Yes!!! Her name is Paris and she’s a beautiful Alaskan Malamute, so beautiful although we are not together at the moment, cries❤️💔

[24] do you want to change your name: Not anymore, there was a time I wanted a cooler name but the hell, my name is pretty.

[25] what did you do your last birthday: I had a great day at NYC, it was amazing, I went to sephora and then ate japanese, what else could I have asked for??

[26] what time did you wake up: 8am!

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Writing!! Yes Yes, I was writing a Taehyung scenario.

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Being economically stable on my own.

[29] when was the last you saw your mother: A week ago, I won’t see her for a long time, gonna miss that girl and her amazing cooking.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I have to be more motivated.

[31] what are you listening right now: Beautiful by Crush, one minute reggaeton and one minute this, that’s how my brain works lol.

[32] have you talked to someone named Tom: No.

[33] something that is gettin on your nerves: My bank!!!! I cannot deal with banks.

[34] most visited websibe: Tumblr or youtube. 

[35] elementary: Finished, following Em’s line I’d say I was mischievous and rebellious.

[36] high school: Finished, I was a rebel for the most part, but I was pretty cool and popular so it was fun lol

[37] college: Same as Em I finished two years ago (wow it’s been a while) I had many stages at college, I studied a lot, but I also partied a lot, I knew a lot of people and did a lot of crazy things, some things weren’t the best but at the end it was all great because I learned a lot.

[38] hair color: Dark brown.

[39] long or short hair: Long hair all the way.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: No, and I’m kind of angry because I want a crush lmao, but I’vent find someone I like recently.

[41] what do you like about yourself: Well let’s start physically, I love my hands and my legs, I like how I’m a bit short but my body shape is elegant since I have long and slender legs and arms. I love my hair, my lips, my a+ boobs no shame here. And about my personality I love my imagination, the way I speak, I love how I can be both very friendly but very reserved at times, I love the way I can adapt to certain things, I love my empathy to others, I love many things about myself!

[42] piercings: Right now two on both ears.

[43] blood type: A.

[44] nickname: Mars, here on tumblr. Mary, Pachi, Garza (which is heron in spanish).

[45] relationship status: Single, of course Min Yoongi would beg to differ but I’m not an easy girl 😈

[46] zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

[47] pronouns: She/Her

[48] fav tv show: GoT, The Walking Dead, What not to wear, everything in discovery id, American Horror Story, etc.

[49] tattoos: None.

[50] right or left hand: Right.

FIRST…

[51] surgery: Just one.

[52] piercings: I got one in my tongue once, I’m telling you, I was a rebel lmao.

[53] best friend: My first best friend was named Natasha, she’s an awesome girl, I’ve seen her in a while but I wish her the best!

[54] sport: I don’t remember the first I played, but I was in tennis classes once so...

[55] Vacations: To Margarita I guess, we traveled a lot while I was a child and I don’t remember. 

[56] pair of trainers: What?

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing.

[58] drinking: I finished my coffee a while ago.

[59] im about to: Either write or go out.

[60] listening to: Not Today by BTS.

[61] waiting for: The plans for today to know what I’m going to wear.

[62] want: More makeup, more money, more love. But chicken and beer would be nice too.

[63] get married: Yes yes, I hope someday.

[64] career: I’m a Lawyer.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: I like both, but I’m picking kisses today!

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes!

[67] shorter or taller: My man has to be taller than me, which is not difficult lol

[68] older or younger: Older?

[69] romantic or spontaneous: Both are amazing.

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms, and nice hands!!!! If he doesn’t have nice hands I cannot. 

[71] sensible or loud: Sensible.

[72] hook up or relationship: It depends on the person, because there are guys who are just for hooking up, but I want a relationship, so, relationship it is.

[73] troublermaker or hesitant:  I don’t know, too hesitant is boring, too troublesome would be annoying. Something in the middle I guess.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: Yes.

[75] drank hard liquor: Yes, sometimes fun, sometimes it isn’t lol

[76] lost glasses/contac lenses: Yes.

[77] turned someone down: Yes.

[78] sex on the first date?:  Yes lmao, for the fun!

[79] broken someone’s heart: Yes.

[80] had your heart broken?: Yes, it hurts a lot but then you feel like you are another person which is a great feeling by the way.

[81] been arrested?: No.

[82] cried when someone died?:Yes, it hurts to say goodbye.

[83] fallen for a friend: Nah, friends are just friends.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: Yes! At least is what I mean.

[85] miracles?: Yes

[86] love at first sight?: Not love love, but like, the feel that you Have to get to know that person.

[87] santa clouse?: I wish.

[88] kiss on the first date?: If we both are into it and I think it’d be good then yeah sure.

[89] angels?: Yes.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Em 💞

[91] eye color: Dark brown

[92] favorite movie: I have a lot of favorite movies, how can you do this?? But two of my all time favorites are Gone Girl and Memoirs of a Geisha.

We tag everyone who wants to to do this!!! Love you all!!!

#long post #tag game #about us

[transssexualheart]

Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw

ah man i was actually doing hw for once

1- my name?rain

2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore

3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 

4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing

5- book/series i reread?harry potter

6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts

7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any

8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much

9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry

10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot

11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)

12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests

13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”

14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything

15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975

16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty

17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk

18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao

19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd

20- favorite video games?any pokemon game

21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying

22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass

23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”

24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE

25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao

26- favorite season?spring/autumn

27- am i in a relationship?no

28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes

29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”

30- eye color?brown

31- hair color?dark brown

32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh

33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most

34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home

35- am i excited about anything?dying

36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano

37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street

38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really

39- am i superstitious?idk

40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 

41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so

42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure

43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano

44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)

45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho

46- do i play any instruments?piano

47- favorite animals?cats and dogs

48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning

49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time

50- how do i destress?what

51- do i like confrontation?no

52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep

53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off

55- play any sports?no

56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy

57- favorite drink?grape juice

58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk

59- afraid of heights?not really

60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after

61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night

62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 

63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer

64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies

65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk

66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves

67- scared of the dark?yeah

68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot

69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing

70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced

71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing

72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably

73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school

74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places

75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc

76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee

77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now

78- early bird or night owl?night owl

79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets

80- can i drive?no

81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember

82- earphones or headphones?earphones

83- have i ever had braces?no

84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now

85- favorite genre of music?idk

86- who is my hero?idk

87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much

88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 

89- kindle or real book?real book

90- favorite sporty activity?idk man

91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????

92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher

93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister

94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food

95- how tall am i?i think 5′5

96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes

97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably

98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping

99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety

100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender

101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick

102- where was i born?albany

103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are

104- where do i currently live?new york

105- last person i texted?you

106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it

107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing

108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps

109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face

110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit

111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps

112- my relationship with my parents?:/

113- favorite accents?idk man

114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art

115- favorite number?five

116- can i juggle?no

117- am i religious?no

118- do i like space?it’s cool

119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty

120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no

121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass

122- can i curl my tongue?yeah

123- can i wiggle my ears?no

124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them

125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them

126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup

127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so

128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes

129- forest or beach?beach

130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”

131- am i a good liar?i think so

132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games

133- do i talk to myself?all the time

134- am i very social?no

135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt

136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary

137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts

138- do i believe in second chances?depends

139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it

140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends

141- have i ever been underweight?no

142- am i ticklish?very

143- have i ever been in a submarine?no

144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven

145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors

146- have i ever been overweight?no

147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear

148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk

149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass

150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize

151- do i believe in karma?i guess

152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much

153- what was my first car?none

154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with

155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?

156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life

157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs

158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah

159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains

160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually

161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really

162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 

163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself

164- do i like adventure?yeah

165- do i believe in fate? maybe

166- favorite animal?question already asked bro

167- have i ever been on radio?no

168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)

169- how old am i?fourteen

170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”

171- do i hold grudges?depends

172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so

173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah

174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it

175- do i dream?yeah

176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah

177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead

178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?

179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever

180- do i like shopping?sure

181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much

182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back

183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one

184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness

185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano

186- what is my greatest failure?everything

187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do

188- love or money?love

189- love or career?love

190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past

191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off

192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love

193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore

194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to

195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes

196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline

197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk

198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz

199- live in the city or the suburbs?city

200- dragons or wizards?wizards

201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up

202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.

203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little

204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah

205- do i like my handwriting?not really

206- sweet or savory?sweet

207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job

208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 

209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one

210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl

211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend

212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college

213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not

214- what tv character am i most like?not sure

215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That

216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one

thanks for asking  

[xfvckxxyoux]

Another one omg I love these

1: My name? Laura 2: Do I have any nicknames? Laz, Lol, lolly, slag, babe 3: Zodiac sign? Scorpio 4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? None 5: Book/series I reread? Harry Potter 6: Aliens or ghosts? Ghosts 7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Jk Rowling 8: Favourite radio station? I don't know any amazing ones 9: Favourite flavour of anything? Mint 10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Amazing 11: Favourite song? Bonfire//Hunna 12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? What music do you listen to? 13: Favourite word? Fuck 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Nope 15: Last song I listened to? Shimmer//Moose Blood 16: TV show I always recommend? Amazing world of gumball 17: Pirates or ninjas? Pirates 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Clueless 19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? Something by Jamie T 20: Favourite video games? Don't play them 21: What am I most afraid of? Death 22: A good quality of mine? I love with my whole heart 23: A bad quality of mine? I hate with everything else in my body 24: Cats or dogs? Cats 25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? Don't know any 26: Favourite season? Summer 27: Am I in a relationship? Nope lol 28: Something I miss? My motivation lmao 29: My best friend? I have a few 30: Eye colour? Blue 31: Hair colour? Black 32: Someone I love? My best friends 33: Someone I trust? My best friendship 34: Someone I always think about? Lmao 35: Am I excited about anything? Yeah lots of things 36: My current obsession? Paradise island 2 ✌🏼️ 37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Ed ed and Eddie 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? Yup I have two 39: Am I superstitious? A little 40: What do I think about most? Dick lmao 41: Do I have any strange phobias? Nah 42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Both 43: Favourite hobbies? Reading with my kitties 44: Last book I read? Harry Potter and the philosophers stone ✌🏼️ 45: Last film I watched? Wild 46: Do I play any instruments? No but I'm learning 47: Favourite animal? Cat 48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? I don't know any by name 49: Superpower I wish I could have? Invisibility 50: How do I destress? Shower and a few songs I know all the words to 51: Do I like confrontation? Hate it 52: When do I feel most at peace? When I'm reading 53: What makes me smile? Compliments 54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Off 55: Play any sports? Nah 56: What is my song of the week? Creep//postmodern jukebox 57: Favourite drink? Wine 58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? Don't think I ever have 59: Afraid of heights? Nope 60: Pet peeve? Assholes 61: What was the last concert I went to see? Never been to a concert 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? The one where you don't eat mammals 63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? A vet 64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Yeah lmao 65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Lazy town tbh 66: Something I worry about? My health 67: Scared of the dark? Yup 68: Who are my best friends? @matyldabiersack xxxx 69: What do I admire most about others? When they give me love lmao 70: Can I sing? Yeah 71: Something I wish I could do? Let go of shit 72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Travel 73: Have I ever skipped school? I always do it lol 74: Favourite place on the planet? My best friends bed lol 75: Where do I want to live? I want to live out of the back of my car and just travel 76: Do I have any pets? Two cats. My children 77: What is my current desktop picture? A picture of me and my babes at pride 78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl 79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunrise 80: Can I drive? Yeah 81: Story behind my last kiss? Can't even remember tbh but he was hot 82: Earphones or headphones? Both 83: Have I ever had braces? Nope 84: Story behind one of my scars? They cut off my umbilical chord 85: Favourite genre of music? Alt 86: Who is my hero? Myself xxx 87: Favourite comic book character? Idk if deadpools a comic book character but he's a babe 88: What makes me really angry? Being awake 89: Kindle or real book? Real 90: Favourite sporty activity? Running to bed 91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? Students hot having to speak for a grade 92: What was my favourite subject at school? English or history 93: Siblings? Three, two brothers and a sister 94: What was the last thing I bought? A packet of sour sweets 95: How tall am I? 5'0 96: Can I cook? Yeah 97: Can I bake? Yeah 98: 3 things I love? My friends, sleep, music 99: 3 things I hate? People, my house, children 100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Boys 101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Boys 102: Where was I born? Ireland 103: Sexual orientation? Whoever my brain wants tbh 104: Where do I currently live? Ireland 105: Last person I texted? A fuckboy 106: Last time I cried? Sunday 107: Guilty pleasure? The kardashians 108: Favourite Youtuber? Jenna marbles 109: A photo of myself. My pp 110: Do I like selfies? Yeah 111: Favourite game app? Paradise island 2 112: My relationship with my parents? Rocky 113: Favourite accents? My own tbh 114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Italy 115: Favourite number? 17 116: Can I juggle? Poorly 117: Am I religious? Nah 118: Do I like space? Yes 119: Do I like the deep ocean? Yes 120: Am I much of a daredevil? Nope 121: Am I allergic to anything? Bullshit 122: Can I curl my tongue? Yeah 123: Can I wiggle my ears? No 124: Do I like clowns? No 125: The Beatles or Elvis? Idk 126: My current project? Me xxx 127: Am I a bad loser? Nah 128: Do I admit when I wrong? Never 129: Forest or beach? Beach 130: Favourite piece of advice? Do you boo boo 131: Am I a good liar? No ahahahaha 132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Hufflepuff 133: Do I talk to myself? Yeah 134: Am I very social? Nope 135: Do I like gossip? It's my first language 136: Do I keep a journal/diary? In my head yeah 137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? Yeah lol 138: Do I believe in second chances? Yup 139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Try return it but keep it if no one was claiming it 140: Do I believe people are capable of change? Yeah 141: Have I ever been underweight? Probably 142: Am I ticklish? Painfully 143: Have I ever been in a submarine? Nope 144: Have I ever been on a plane? Yup 145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? Idk 146: Have I ever been overweight? Nope 147: Do I have any piercings? My ears, my eyebrow and my lip 148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? Da ppl in my head 149: Do I have any tattoos? I wish 150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? To cut out toxic people 151: Do I believe in Karma? Yeah 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? Glasses 153: What was my first car? Don't have one 154: Do I want children? Maybe 155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? My sister 156: My most embarrassing memory? Got paint on my jacket and screamed like a little bitch 157: What makes me nostalgic? Music and smells mostly 158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Pulling one rn 159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains 160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? Black and grey 161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Yeah 162: What do I hate most about myself? My legs 163: What do I love most about myself? My eyes 164: Do I like adventure? Yeah 165: Do I believe in fate? Yeah 166: Favourite animal? Cat 167: Have I ever been on radio? No 168: Have I ever been on TV? No 169: How old am I? 16 170: One of my favourite quotes? If life's out to get you, turn around and get it first 171: Do I hold grudges? Yeah 172: Do I trust easily? Nope 173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes 174: Best gift I’ve ever received? No lie here, friendship 175: Do I dream? Yeah 176: Have I ever had a night terror? Nope 177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? Nor very well but Obama shot me once 178: An experience that has made me stronger? Fake friend fucked me over for like two years 179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Be Zeus tbh 180: Do I like shopping? When I have money yeah 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Kill someone that has it coming to them 182: What does “family” mean to me? People who treat me with respect and are there for me no matter what 183: What is my spirit animal? Idfk 184: How do I want to be remembered? My music 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Guitar 186: What is my greatest failure? Letting go of my best friend for a few months 187: What is my greatest achievement? Getting the bitch back ❤️❤️ 188: Love or money? Love 189: Love or career? Love 190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? I'd go back to before my mom died and tell her what not to do 191: What makes me the happiest? Being with my friends 192: What is “home” to me? Where I'm happy with the people I love most in the world 193: What motivates me? Deadlines 194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? Something really fucking stupid 195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? Not a fucking hope 196: A movie that scared me as a child? Monsters inc 197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Cats 198: Zombies or vampires? Vampires 199: Live in the city or suburbs? City 200: Dragons or wizards? Wizards 201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Idk 202: How do I define love? I don't 203: Do I judge a book by its cover? Yeah 204: Have I ever had my heart broken? Yeah 205: Do I like my handwriting? Sort of 206: Sweet or savoury? Both 207: Worst job I’ve had? Never had a job 208: Do I collect anything? Fuckboys 209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My moms chain 210: What is on my bucket list? I don't have one 211: How do I handle anger? I don't lol 212: Was I named after anyone? Nope 213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? Way too much 214: What TV character am I most like? Take the bitchiest cunt ever and it's me 215: What is the weirdest talent I have? Talent? 216: Favourite fictional character? Damon Salvatore

[youregonnasurvivethis]

help me

Anon writes:

i need advice. i’m in my late 20s/disabled depressed & unemployed. trying to get govt help but no luck im in this one program but they stopped calling me should I call back and bug them? I’m also considering college advisers but idk they’re my last resort i dont know where else to turn for help No other relatives care. I’m desperate and wish someone would give me a chance.. im running out of time. and I hate how my cousins family come here from overseas with 0 exp and get asked if they want to attend school or work and 3 months later they’re doing better then me in a year. my mom she’s mid 60s basically, and she wants to retire to her home country taking me with her permanently. thing is I don’t want to go and live there because why go from 1st world to 3rd world. there its no resources for disabled ppl and they’re treated like shit. also it’s hot I hate bugs no good shower gotta bathe outside no plumbing plus wifi over there its shit and how can i watch my tv shows, go on tumblr for escape.. and my Cousins there got there own lives to live so I won’t see them much. I rather stay here in usa and be homeless with food stamps then in a shack box with incoming tsunami warnings . what should I do? find a way to stay here or suck it up and leave forever somewhere unknown while being forever depressed and suicidal. plus she says ill get more freedom.. like really? when i was there for “vacay” i didnt do shit got invited to the beach couldnt go, movies nope, library nope even walking across the street nope also kids there wont stop staring at me and calling me names and saying “go backto your country you filthy american we dont want you here and i get thrown rock at :( plus feral dogs and cats with high risk of disease if i got bit which i almost did theres no good medical help and they show up late like i witnessed both from someone else. plus excuse my horrid grammar my writing skills arent proficient since its apart of my disorder. what should i do?! i got six months left to figure it out im also trying to apply for jobs even though i have no exp apply anyway all i have is name and address thanks.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anon, it sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate! I sympathize with you in more than one way and while I’m not an expert, hopefully I can help you make sense of some things! I’m unsure of what kind of disability you have. Can you go out and do things on your own? If yes, don’t be afraid to apply to all jobs you think you’ll do ok at, even if it is flipping burgers. No job is degrading if it’s paying for the roof above your head. That’s how you start getting experience. You say you’re in your late 20s so you’ll have an advantage as far as getting a job at places like that. In fact, you might be able to move up fast BECAUSE of your age. But don’t quote me on that. You seem to be into technology too. Why not apply at Best Buy? Or Gamestop? Or Target’s electronic section (?) or something that might interest you? Having goals, as small as they are, helps you get out of bed every morning and try your hardest. Go to the mall and walk around. See if there’s a store that’s hiring and consider if you would like to work at that store. It’s tempting to go after the jobs that offer the most money but if you have no experience, it’s a waste of time. For now. You’ll get there. It also sounds like going back to that other country with your mom is absolutely not an option for you. So that’s that. If you don’t want to go back, whether it is because it’s a third world country (it sounds like it) or because of racism (also sounds like it?) or because you plain don’t like that place, you should actively try your earnest to stay here in the US. How? Well, if your mom is leaving, you’ll need a place to stay. Again, I’m not sure about your type of disability, if it’s mental or physical, or how much it stops you for doing every day things. If you can start by getting a job, a simple job that doesn’t pressure you that much but pays enough, that would suffice. Unless you get a pretty good no-experience-required job, more than likely you won’t have enough to afford your own place by yourself (Don’t feel bad about this. We all start somewhere). Roommates might be something you’ll have to look into. You talked about College Advisors. I’ll assume you’re going to college. Is there a way you can live on campus? Work at the college? Even some community colleges will try and help you out. I’d definitely reach out to College advisors. It might feel weird to open up to them but you never know. It sounds like you need all the help you can get and you’ll be surprised by what they can do. I’d also keep bugging the government regarding the help you’re requesting. But be smart and polite about it. If you do get a hold of someone, get them to tell you how long you should wait, then go back and keep bugging them until you get answers. For example, I am fighting my own battle with the government. They told me to wait until the end of this month to hear back from them. If I don’t hear from them by then, I’ll be right and early at their offices, calling, emailing them, spamming their mail, whatever it is i have to do until I’ve exhausted my resources. I know it sounds simpler than what it is and I’m sorry you’ve reached that place where it feels like there’s nowhere else to go. This might not mean a lot right now but you’re not alone; we’ve all been there. An as cliched as it sounds, once you’ve reached the bottom, there’s nowhere else to go but up. So now that you’ve set the card on the table, develop a plan. -Family won’t help? Start trying to look for help somewhere else. Don’t spend more time wasting resources here. -Government won’t reply? Keep at it until you get answers. -No experience? No problem! Choose a simple job that requires no experience and that you can enjoy. -Third world country not an option? Good, look into all options that can keep you here where you feel comfortable. This is your life! Of course this is all up in the air. But even if things don’t go your way, at least you’ve tried. And that doesn’t mean that at that moment is when you’re allowed to give up. You HAVE to keep fighting for what you want and what makes you happy. The fight will never stop but it will be worth it. Things do get better from time to time. It’s worth being around for those moments when things pay off, even if it is in ways that you don’t expect. Hang in there, anon. I really hope this helped somewhat.