#like yeah i am not going to take a 5 yr old seriously but also | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meruz · 3 years

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Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha.

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].

<33333333333333333333333333

#ask #anonymous

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accidentallyadramablog · 3 years

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Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

#down with love #twdrama #drama critical #ella chen #jerry yan #kelly huang #yang guo #xiang yu ping #yang duo

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aprito · 3 years

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hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me)

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please)

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since.

so finally we can move to the first question

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara.

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

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okaybutlikeimagine · 5 years

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What if Billy got sick but cause he’s so used to pushing through it he didn’t think it was a big deal

(as of writing this, I, too, am sick!! >w

Ohmydear the poor poor hun!!! Okay you SO know that this child wouldn’t do anything about being sick. Like this kid is gonna be sick as a dog and still get totally set to go to school that day. Just bc he thinks he needs to!!!

Like…. He can’t remember the last time someone helped him through being sick. Sometimes when he was sick back in Cali, Max would bring him the bag of cough drops they kept in the bathroom or pour out the cold medicine when Billy was too dizzy to do it himself. He did the same for her when Neil and Susan were too busy to notice she needed it. When Susan was too busy attending to Neil to coddle Max like a baby.

But Billy never got that. Never really accepted it from the handful of times that Susan timidly offered bc accepting help from her felt poisonous. It always felt poisonous. There was never really a maternal care to be found in her eyes. Any that lingered there was always covered by a very genuine fear that pissed Billy off more than anything. Neil only did enough to make sure Billy didn’t actually die from his cold bc nothing pissed Neil off more than having to lug Billy to the hospital and pay for it.

So when he wakes up congested, he doesn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t tell anyone, he doesn’t say anything, he legit just goes about his day like normal. If he coughs a little roughly every now and then, no one notices (or Billy’s too out of it to see Hop giving him a concerned look).

So Billy keeps going to school, keeps going to work, keeps going to basketball practice, and obviously??? Keeps getting worse.

His voice is getting nasally and he glares at Hop when he mentions it.

He sneezes about 5 times in a row and flicks El in the shoulder when she whimpers and says “gross”.

He starts wearing so many layers to school that Tommy is actually concerned but shuts up as soon as Billy gives him a glare that promises death.

He pukes up his dinner one night and blames it on drinking. He relies on the hope that Hop will be too busy giving him a lecture on not drinking on a school night that he won’t question his sickness.

It’s not until he wakes up and he can’t breathe and his head is throbbing like someone’s put it in a vice and his throat is on fire that he decides now might be a good time to scavenge for something to help him.

So he gets up and wobbles himself over to the bathroom, digging through the medicine cabinet for anything he can possibly take to help himself. He finds some painkillers and children’s cough medicine. He briefly considers downing the bottle of syrup but, even in his sick haze, convinces himself it’s a stupid idea and instead wanders out into the rest of the cabin to grab his keys.

He runs into Hop first.

Like, legitimately walks right into Hop bc he’s walking with his eyes nearly closed bc he can’t keep them open.

“Woah- uh?”

“Hey.” Billy mumbles, but it comes out as more of a grunt. He goes to move around Hop but he just kinda rocks over bc his feet decide they don’t wanna move anymore.

Hop grabs onto Billy’s shoulders to stabilize him.

“Woah there, kid. You look like shit.”

Billy grumbles.

“And you’re Miss America?” Billy slurs, finally taking a step around Hop and making his way towards the door.

Hop turns enough to get a hold of the boy again, who’s now growling or… moaning? It sounds more like a ghost moaning in agony.

Hop’s not okay with this.

“Seriously, are you alright?”

“M’fine….” Billy groans out, weakly shaking his wrist to get Hop off of him.

Hop briefly considers letting go bc he feels bad, but he gets his other hand on Billy’s forehead and flips out.

“Holy shi- you’re burning.” He says, grabbing a harder hold of Billy’s wrist and pulling him gently towards his bed.

“Stooop…” Billy groans again, tripping over his feet as he’s pulled.

Hop flops him down onto the bed, Billy’s body hitting it hard bc he can’t hold himself up right anymore. He immediately curls up, head throbbing harshly from the pain of standing for so long.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” Hop asks, walking over to the kitchen.

Billy groans in response.

“You sounded a little nasally the other day.” Hop adds.

Billy growls as menacingly as he can when there’s so much phlegm in his throat. It doesn’t really work.

“And you couldn’t keep your food down the other night. Wow, am i an idiot?” Hop says that last part under his breath to himself, amazed that he let this boy just walk around sick as a dog bc he kept pushing Hop away.

He walks back over with a wet towel and a glass of water.

“What’re you playing at, kid? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Billy swats at the wet towel being lowered towards his face. It’s incredibly weak and misses in the air.

“What’s there t’tell?” Billy asks, rocking his head back and forth to avoid the towel. His stomach starts to contract, Hop notices. He worries for a second it’s bc the boy is gonna throw up again, but in a few seconds Billy’s attempting to push himself up and out of bed.

Hop puts a hand on Billy’s chest and gently pushes him back down.

“You’re sick as a damn dog.”

“Mahhh… and? I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Billy says, nose clearly stuffed up. He sounds like his lung is attempting to climb up his throat as he coughs.

Hop takes a deep breath of exasperation.

“Son, please. Lay down. I’m calling in to school.”

“But I have to… I have to… Max.”

Billy still drives Max to school everyday. Hop nods and waves his hand in the air in an act of dismissal.

“Right. Yeah, I’ll drive Max to school, you stay here and rest. I’ll be back”

“Mmm… work…?” Billy asks.

“I’ll let them know I can’t come in.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look, I’d leave you here but I’m worried you’re gonna try to go to school or work or something so for now I’m staying. Now shut up, I’m gonna make El make sure you don’t get up and I’m getting soup and medicine and… yeah. Maybe a thermometer.”

So Hop goes to Melvald’s, obviously. Bc he needs to buy medicine and stuff but he also needs to ask Joyce about what the fuck to do with a sick 17 yr old.

“Oh no, Billy’s sick?”

“Yup.” Hop says as he eyes up all of the different types of medicine. “What do you do when Jonathan gets sick?”

“Well I usually have to force him to stay home. My boys hate being home sick.”

Hop sighs bc he understands now. He picks up two different types of cough syrup and straightens out so he can analyze both.

Joyce walks up to him then, grabbing hold of both medicines gently and putting them down before picking up a completely different one and placing it in Hop’s hand.

“Jonathan and Will said this one isn’t as gross as the rest.” Joyce says, giving Hop a soft smile before walking through the store and picking out the best and most affordable brands of different things: tissues, a thermometer, cough drops. She also writes down a list of some good foods to feed him along with apple juice and some ginger ale. (“It’ll settle his stomach.”)

Hop follows behind her quietly, observing her choices and paying at the end. She sends him off with a pat on the back and the most motherly smile, telling him to “let me know if he needs anything else! And tell him I hope he gets well!”

So Hop walks back into the house, bags of medicines and such in his hands, where he sees El sitting on the couch tipping her head to the side every couple of seconds.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Making Billy stay still.” El says with another tilt of her head. Billy, who’s currently trying to get up, falls back down again (seemingly not of his own volition)

El looks at Hop with a lopsided smile. “A little bit. Trying to.”

Hop ruffles her hair and puts the bags on the counter.

“I’m fine.” Billy says like hes still trying to convince Hop. Like Hop didn’t just leave and come back with bags full of stuff just to help him get better.

Hop just rolls his eyes and takes out the medicine, making a little more than a half hearted attempt to read the label because honestly, he hasn’t bought cold medicine in ages. He used to abuse pills, but that’s very different.

He pours the right amount of syrup according to the chair and hands it over to Billy, who sits up and scrunches his nose at the liquid.

“I don’t need it.”

“God, you’re stubborn as a bull. Just drink the damn medicine.”

El looks curiously, eyeing the colorful liquid as Billy downs it like a shot. Billy makes a face afterwards, sticking his tongue out in a disgusted gesture that looks involuntary.

“Joyce said her boys think it’s less gross than the rest.” Hop says by way of apology, giving a pitying look to Billy as he takes the tiny cup back.

“Haven’t had that stuff in years.” Billy says, giving his head a little shake and curling back down into the bed.

El asks if she can have some and Hop just shakes his head no as he takes the thermometer out and asks El to put it under Billy’s tongue and read the number out loud as he goes to put some soup on the stove.

“One zero five.” El calls out, looking to Hop to figure out how to react to that.

“Holy shit, kid!”

El turns to Billy with a gasp.

“Holy shit, kid!” She mimics, which makes Billy chuckle (and then groan again with the pain of the movement) and makes Hop sputter before saying “Don’t say that again, sorry, shouldn’t have said that.”

So Hop, who was planning on going to work that night, stays and watches Billy. Like he’s a fucking baby who caught the flu. Billy’s understandably livid about his lack of freedom and the intense level of coddling.

“I don’t have like… fucking scarlet fever. I’m fine.” Billy says over a cough while Hop wraps him up in even more blankets. He’s tucking them underneath him like he’s a burrito.

“Shut it, kid. Do you want some more soup?”

“I’ve probably had 5 bowls at this point. No. I don’t want any more soup.”

And Billy groans and growls and whines and complains and Hop and El dote on him like he’s a baby and he wants to hate it, he does. He kind of does hate it, actually, but there’s not a lot of fire in his body over it right now bc 1. He’s weak from being so sick. And 2. It’s sweet. It’s really, really sweet. It’s annoying as all hell, but it’s sweet too so he’s gonna sit here and let it happen.

It’s not until the next day of soup and medicine and tissues and coughing and ginger ale that there’s a knock on the door.

“Hey, is Billy home?” comes the voice that Billy immediately recognizes as Steve.

“Uh-”

“Babe! Help!” Billy croaks from his bed, moving to get up but being pushed down by El’s powers. “They’re holding me hostage!”

It’s then that Steve rounds the corner to find Billy in bed, sweating and covered in blankets.

“Tell them I’m fine-”

“Oh my god, Billy! Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me you were sick, I could have picked up something for you!”

“Hop bought the whole damn pharmacy yesterday.” Billy says, still congested and indicating the cough drops and medicine next to him on the table. “I-”

“Do you need some soup? How bout some water? Do you have a fever?” Steve places his hand on Billy’s forehead, then his cheek, then his neck, then into the collar of his shirt to his chest. “You’re burning up! What do you need? How are you feeling?”

And Billy, at this point… is blushing up a storm. Like…….. he’s been flushed the last few days from his sickness but suddenly he’s red as a tomato as this beautiful boy leans over him and dotes on him and-

“I’m dying.”

Hop scoffs loudly.

“Poor baby!” Steve gushes, rushing over to the kitchen in a flurry to grab some water and a towel. Billy grunts a little at being called a baby but it’s okay bc he gets to watch his boyfriend flutter around and care for him. “Here, put this on your head. My mom used to do this for me. Have you taken medicine today? Do you need more? How’s your throat doing? Do you want some tea?”

And with that, Billy snuggles into his blankets with a pitiful (and fake) look on his face, Steve coos in concern, and Hop grabs his hat.

“I’m heading down to the station. I think you can be off Billy duty for a while, kiddo.” Hop says to El before motioning to the TV. “Go ahead and watch some TV or something.”

El giggles and nods, sending Hop a wave before flopping down onto the couch to catch some cartoon reruns while Steve kisses Billy’s forehead with another coo.

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miriyos · 4 years

Text

a long rant.

so even prior to covid i really started to hate my job and i was really struggling mentally with it. i’m / was an rbt (behavioral therapist) who worked with autistic kids during early intervention. most of our clients were in the 2-5 yr/old range. around month 5 or so working there, my cousin passed away suddenly and that made the job even harder because little things, all of a sudden, could just remind me of her and set me off into a crying fit without meaning to. and like most things, the more you don’t wanna think about a thing and the harder you try not to think about the thing, the more you think about the thing.

anyway, now i'm trying to imagine what's next after covid, and i really can't go back. and the thing about that is that i understand not going back to work is not the best option to choose. but i also was starting to get increased anxiety and was starting to feel depressed again - because i hated myself for how much i hated a job that actually did treat me well, pay me well, and give me good benefits. i felt terrible knowing that i found a good place to be and wanted to walk away from it - since, overall, i did really like it there but the type of work that i had to do as an rbt just isn't something i have the overall passion for.

and so obviously my intent, a couple months ago was to find another job and then give my two weeks. that way i would go from one job to the other directly without having to really worry about a lapse in medical insurance and payment. and i got a few emails back or calls back that i was being considered, but then all hiring processes for the places that i was looking for suspended hiring because of covid.

and it kills me knowing that my mom would much prefer that i go back - and really, i understand and i wish i could go back too, but i just don't think i can last another 6-8 uncertain months, depending on the job market. it really drained me having to work with kids who i have to worry about hitting, kicking, spitting, biting, and cleaning up pee. which - i loved the kids. really. but i didn't love those sides about the job which are inevitable when you work with autistic kids on the early intervention phase.

and so i'm trying to tell her this - and it makes me cry because that's how conflicted i am about knowing i don't want to go back this badly, and how much this job - even the thought of it - stresses me out, and she tells me to stop being emotional. and yeah there are probably some things that i could have talked to them at work about to see if improvements could have been made, but those things are just part of the job. and some of the things that drive me crazy and make me anxious aren't necessarily their fault. and i know that to an extent my anxiety is irrational, but not all anxiety comes from a rational place.

my job can't predict when parents won't call out or call out their kids 5 minutes before their appointment. and they can't totally be for blame for their disorganization when they need a bigger office and they don't have the staff. they worked on getting a secretary but of course that was right before covid. and i just really hate and it makes me even more upset that some of the things she says - even if it isn't intended - are phrased like i don't understand. like i just plan on hopping job to job every six months whenever something i don't like happens. and the worst model is that i did quit my first job.

it was bare minimum wage, and i was supposed to be part time, but we were so short handed at some point that i was working 40+ hours - that weren't even scheduled. i'd be on the clock, they'd see they were short handed, and have me stay later. then i was being asked to come in earlier and earlier. and it was a mess. i wasn't getting my mandated break until a half hour before i had to leave to go home sometimes because the morning shift manager wouldn't tell the afternoon shift manager that i wasn't breaked yet.

it was absolutely terrible, and i felt really torn up about leaving that job too. because i don't like to quit, i wasn't raised with the mentality or privilege to just quit, and i understand the consequences of my actions. but i did quit, because that was really running me ragged too - but for different reasons.

and when she brings that up in an argument as if i don't get it - as if i don't remember it drives me crazy. especially in the context that a professional job and my first job while in college are equal.

plus her mentioning that it seemed like i wasn't taking looking for a job seriously after i got home from college. i tried my best. there's only so many places you can apply to that are professional within the field i wanted, and even then, if i was denied the first time - most places have a three month period before you can apply there again.

so no. i wasn't just slacking. maybe i could've driven myself all around and dropped off my resume, but people give a lot of conflicting advice on whether that's actually a good idea. people tend to air on the side of "it interrupts their day, so probably don't." so a lot of the time i didn't. but i tried to follow up with them electronically, at least.

so she can apologize all she wants, but i just hate that i don't think she gets that even if i can say easily that i want to quit - it isn't the same as me accepting easily that this is what i'm going to do, or what i want to do. there's still a part of me that dreadfully is willing to go back because i know that that will erase this entire conversation

and this wasn't a recent decision either. i've been thinking about leaving my job since prior to covid. since maybe early march, when things weren't so bad. we heard that some people were going crazy over hoarding toilet paper, and back then it was kinda comical because it was hard to understand how people thought 2 weeks in self-quarantine could warrant that much tp.

and maybe even prior to march i wanted to leave, but i was still going in with the mentality of sticking it out for an entire year - or as close as i could get to it before my certification had to be renewed. because i definitely went into it knowing that it would be a difficult job, and i knew there were certain parts that mentally and physically exhausted me, but i liked the people there and overall, i liked the kids - but it got to a certain point where mentally, the rewards i got from it weren't enough to refresh the parts of me that were tired.

and if i did wanna leave prior to march, i definitely didn't say anything about it. because i didn't want my parents to know that i was contemplating leaving an otherwise good company. i didn't want to hear arguments or hear that they were disappointed or hear that they wanted me to stay - because obviously those were things i was feeling about myself, and i didn't need an extra voice to tell me to stick it out when that was what a strong part of me already intended on doing.

but it gets to the point where mentally i see myself getting in an exhausted place again. where i pass out as soon as i get home at 6pm and i hate the thought of even going in. and then it becomes a very cyclical dark place that's hard to escape.

i hate my job, but i need my job, so i go in. something bad happens, makes me hate my job even more. i think about how much i need my job, and i hate myself for wanting to leave it, then i go home. i wake up in the morning, need to go to work. but i hate work. i go to work, feel numb for being there. maybe something good happens, but then something bad happens. i get through work, go home, feel tired. pass out, maybe. tell myself i still need my job, it's not that bad. the company is nice, the people are nice. i can make it another six months. go to bed, get up for work again, rinse and repeat.

i can't do that for another six months. and i don't get how people can continue working at a place that clearly makes them miserable for a paycheck. i wanted to find another job but where i want to work for experience are places that are currently closed.

if i wanted an easily acquirable job - i could've found one, but i didn't want another bare minimum, minimum wage food service job. and my parents didn't want me working at one of those jobs either - so i looked for something professional and it took me six months. that didn't make me happy either. made me feel depressed. made me think about how stupid i was for not taking the gre earlier and going into grad school despite not knowing what i wanted to go into grad school for - but at least it would've been something, and i wouldn't have been sitting around at home for so long thinking that i just wasted 4 years of my time not knowing what i wanted to do immediately after getting out.

am i actually mad? no.

but i do wish that to a greater extent it would feel like her saying that she supported my decision felt more genuine. because i've never been raised with the mentality of just quitting whenever - and i've never been told that i can just do what i want, to hell with consequences or responsibility.

and it's one thing to say that she never intended for me to worry about certain financial things - but by saying it repeatedly, i am going to worry about it at some point. and frankly, one reason why i thought i was going to try to stick it out until i found another job to replace my current one was for medical insurance reasons. because even though bill-wise she would never have me really pay for anything, i still know that that's one less bill she would have to worry about, and me having my own insurance helped a lot even if it was one thing.

but i was getting to the point of being more anxious and more depressed while employed than when i was when i was sitting at home for six months hoping someone would call me back. because having a job was ultimately making me hate myself so much more than i ever did hate myself - because i had it really good and i wanted to walk away from it

#personal #tldr i hate myself #and i wish i could stop existing #you know that dark place #that tells you to fucking die #yeah i get it

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purplerain85 · 6 years

Text

I Love You

PAIRING: Alex Skarsgård x You (Reader)

WORDS: 3997

WARNINGS: Swearing, Hateful comments (not sure how to explain that part), Smut.

SUMMARY: Dating Alex and you two have a date night and the paps photograph you two, and some of his “fans” make some hate full comments about your weight and you have a whole day of self doubt and your worth to Alex.

A/N: I got this idea from an ask that @rae-of-sinshine (I hope you don’t mind that I wrote this) All typos are my mistakes.

@rae-of-sinshine @ohh-la-la-leto @laketaj24 @loey-bae @evenwhen-ihadnothing @sideeffectsofyou @thosekidswhohuntmonsters @kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls @just-another-fangirl-94 @sploodgebucketlu

Alex and you had been dating for just over two years, you two were introduced by mutual friend Anna, when she was talking about you to Alex he had said he wanted to meet you, Anna had than mentioned that if she did and you two hit it off, that he had to promise not to toy around with you as you don’t date much since you had your daughter 3 years ago, and you didn’t want guys coming and going. He promised that he would not play games with you as long as you didn’t either.

When you finally agreed to go on a date with him, you two were inseparable and you made him wait 6 months before you introduced him to your daughter Ursula, you wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to run off, although when you had decided to introduced them you didn’t know for 100% that he wouldn’t but you had a pretty good idea that he wouldn’t. The night that they finally met, you invited Alex over for dinner, the two of them hit off just the much as you two did, things had gone so well that night that it was the first time that Alex had stayed the night which was also the first time you two had sex and also the same time you realized that you Loved Alex.

Two years later you and your daughter were living with Alex, and some how you two managed to keep your daughter out of the lime light let alone let the world know that you had a child from a previous relationship, you enjoyed the fact that no-one other than his family and close friends knew about her. It wasn’t that you didn’t want his fans to know about her, but she was your daughter and you and Alex had discussed it and you two agreed and decided to keep her protected as long as you could. Although it still surprised you that no-one had found out about her.

Tonight, was date night for Alex and you, Alex’s dad and step mom had taken Ursula for the night, which was great which meant they would pick her up right after school, so you didn’t have to rush from work to her school to home and than to Stellan’s . It also meant that you two could be as loud as you could and not worry about waking her up…… although you tried not to be loud, sex with Alex was like nothing you ever experienced with ex-boyfriends, he always left you satisfied.

Alex had taken you to a place that taught people how to cook different things (not that either of you couldn’t cook) and once you were done you got to cook what you had made which you thought was great and you two had so much fun. Than you two walked around Central Park for a little bit until about 9, then he took you to another park that showed old Black and White movies and he knew how much you loved Black and White movies and tonight’s movie was The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, which you had told him you saw for the first time when you were 13 and it made you fall in love with B&W movies. You two had a great evening and were so caught up in each other that neither noticed that some people were taking your photos….. But you did the next day.

The following morning was Saturday and you had the day off you didn’t to pick Ursula up tell tomorrow afternoon as Stellan and his wife took the kids out of the City for the weekend. Alex had to do some filming for the day, so you had the whole day to yourself. You slept in tell about 9:30 and when you woke up you had a couple emails and about 15 text messages from Anna, which was unusual as the last time you got that many texts from her was when it was discovered that you and Alex were dating, you two had been photographed so much since than that you didn’t even care anymore.

Her first text at 7:00 told you to call her, her next one at 7:15 said do not go on the internet until you call me! Please!, you didn’t even read the rest, you did the exact opposite of what she said because your fear was that someone had photographed Ursula, what you found was worse so much worse, that having her photographed would have been nothing compared to what you read.

”ALEX SKARSGÅRD AND FAT GIRLFRIEND: Y/N was seen last night out with Alex for what seemed to be a date night, the 34 yr. old bookkeeper and the 44yr old actor have been dating for about 2 years but it seems like Y/N has decided to let herself go and put on weight, she has never been as small as Alex is but it seems like he can have any woman in the world why choose to date someone who doesn’t want to watch her weight.”

You could not believe what you were reading l mean sure you struggled with your weight since you had your daughter 5 years ago, Ursula was 2 when you found out that you had a thyroid problem and had to be put on medication and yeah you yoyoed with your weight but Alex had never complained in fact he seemed to love the “love handles” that you had and never said anything about your weight…. Not that he ever would as you knew he was raised better than that and he really didn’t have death wish.

You sat there in bed for couple minutes reading and re-reading the article, thinking that you were not fat God you were between a size 10-12, then you made the mistake of reading the comments.

-I cannot believe Alex is dating someone so fat! I mean come on, lose some weight or go back t the sea.

-Man, he has to be dating her for her personality, or she has a golden pussy, because he is clearly not dating her for her body or for her beauty (which she is not)

-As a long time, Fan of Alex, and as a fan l am telling you to dump her fat ass and date someone who is better than her.

-Seriously what does this Amazing specimen of man see in this beluga of a woman.

You ended up shutting your phone off because you could not handle reading anymore comments, you curled up into a ball and cried for what seemed like hours, you couldn’t understand why his fans where making such hatful comments, you knew some of them weren’t happy he was dating someone, but they had never been rude to you nor have they made such hurtful comments you eventual fell asleep again, and woke up around 3pm Alex wouldn’t be home for at least another 3 hours. You managed to get out of bed and wanted something to eat but could only bring yourself to make two slices of peanut butter toast, even that you had to force yourself to eat, even though you were starving all you could think of was the hurtful comments. You decided to take a hot shower as you stood under the hot water tears started to form in your eyes again, you thought to yourself “maybe l am fat?” “maybe Alex does deserve to be with someone who is not as big as me?” “maybe l should lose some weight” all these thoughts just seemed to make you feel crazy and very, very self-conscious. When the water got ice cold you decided it was time to get out of the shower you found some of the baggiest clothes you could find, one of Alex’s over-sized hoodies and a pair of baggy pj bottoms that you hadn’t worn in years and wrapped yourself in a huge blanket.

Alex arrived at home and you were sitting in the livingroom when he came in and asked you why you never responded to any of his or Anna’s text messages, you said bluntly “I turned my phone off hours ago”, which made him look at you and that was when he realized that your eyes were swollen, which made him panic as he thought something happened to Ursula or something, he leaned down and looked at you and asked what was wrong? You “we were photographed last night, and the published the photos this morning and l look ugly and fat!” Alex “You are not Ugly nor are you Fat!” You “well your so-called Fucking fans think that l am fat as a whale and fucking ugly! And they also think that you can do better than me!”

before Alex could say anything else you got up from the couch and stormed off to the bedroom, you hadn’t even realized that Alex was right behind you tell he said “I don’t give two fucks what these “fans” have to say about you! I love you for you, I think you are gorgeous, I think your body is fucking amazing and it also did an amazing thing by bring Ursula into this world, I have seen pictures of you before you got pregnant and to be honest l love this body that you have hidden under this blanket more than how it was! I love your caring heart and how you treat everyone you met with so much respect, I love you for how you interact with my fans and how you raise your daughter and l love your big personality, l love how most of the time you like your body and the confidence that you have about yourself and l love You! For You!” and l am going show you tonight and every night that l am home how much l love your body and you!”

Alex had your face between his hands while he was talking to you and telling you what he loved about you, and you started to cry again (although you weren’t sure where or how you were able to still form tears. He went to kiss you and you pulled away and told him you where not good enough for him. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer “if anyone is not good enough it’s me who is not good enough for you, I am gone a lot and l hate seeing you like this” before you could respond to him he kissed you.

The moment his lips touched yours you melted into him, he gradually moved his hands from your jaw, down your neck to wear the start of the blanket and he slowly pulled it from your body, just that little bit of movement you felt your arousal starting between your legs, Alex moved his hand slowly down your arms and moved to your hips where he gripped them and pulled you closer to him as he deepend the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed one hand at his hair line and gently ran your fingers up and down, which made Alex moan into the kiss and his grip get tighter which cause your to moan. You pulled away from the kiss first and you two placed your foreheads together and breathed together.

Alex moved his hands under the hoodie you had on and softly said “l Love you, Y/N! I would move heaven and earth to make the pain you are feeling about yourself go away! But l will settle for showing you how much l love you and tell you everything l love about your body” his hands moved up your body as he was talking to you, when he got to your shoulder blades he got you to raise your arms and he took the sweater off and kissed you again, and he took your breasts in his hands and messaged them and ran his hands over your nipples and slightly pulled away from the kiss and said l love how these amazing breasts just fit perfectly into my hands, they are perfect size, he kisses you again, and moves to your special part of your neck right where your jaw and bottom of your ear meet and he sucked, you moan “Alex”.

He moved you one to the bed and kissed your collarbone down to your breasts and took your right nipple into his mouth and nipped and sucked and swirled his tongue around the harden nipple while his left hand gripped and pinched your left nipple, and as he was moving to the left nipple he said “l love how your nipples react to my touch, and how l can feel them harden even more on my tongue” all you could do was moan in response. He then kissed your navel and sat up on his knees and looked at you as his fingers went into the top of your pj bottoms, he could see the lust in your eye and the love you had for him and you could see the same in his eyes, as he pulled you bottoms off.

Alex lifted your left leg and kissed and nipped at your calf up to you knee and than pulled up your right leg and did the same and when he got to you thighs he told you that he loved how thick your thighs were and how amazing they felt around his head when his head was buried between them and wrapped around his waist and how great they felt when you rode him into ecstasy, than he kissed and licked each of your stretch marks and said he loved the feel of them. You responded to him “Please Alex, l get that you love my body, just please!” he told you “No, l told you l would show you what l love about your body and l am going to do just that!” than he ran his stubble chin over your folds and it made you jump and cry out in pleasure.

Alex kissed your left hip and bit it and then licked across to your right hip and bit it as well and than he kissed up your stomach and said “love your stomach and l love these three little tiger marks right here, and l love these lovely love handles of yours, l love that l can grab hold of you and l can hold onto you when you ride my like your life depends on it, God l love it when you ride me!” Alex continued to kiss you your body back up to your mouth and kissed you and grinded his jean covered hard-on against your wet core. Again, you moaned “Alex please, l need to feel you”.

Alex moved his weight to his right arm as his left hand made it way down to your wet pussy and he slipped one finger between your fold and gathered some of your juices on his finger and ran his finger over your clit, you moaned and as he continued to kiss you he said how he loved how your pussy felt he then slipped two fingers into you and slowly moved them in and out of you and rubbed his thumb over your clit every now and then he would curl his fingers and hit your G-Spot just right and you would hum against his mouth gradually he speed up his fingers to the point he was thrusting his fingers out at a fast pace and kept them curled and pulled away so he could watch come to your first orgasm of the night, you had a tight grip on his right arm and the back of his neck, when you orgasmed you called out “Oh God Alex!”

Alex pulled his fingers from you and was about to put his fingers in his mouth when you grabbed his wrist and look him in the face as you moaned around his fingers and sucked them clean which cause Alex to close his eyes and moaned, when he pulled his fingers from your mouth his kissed you hard and thrusted his tongue into your mouth and moaned at the taste you. He got up from the bed and removed his clothes and your mouth watered at the sight of his erection and you wanted to taste him so bad and suck him Alex saw the look in your eyes and said “not tonight darling its all about you and my pleasure will come when l make you cum for the last time around my cock” Alex kissed your thigh again and made his way to your pussy and your know that you had at least two more orgasms coming, and just as you were think at the joy of what you were going to have you felt his tongue slip between your folds as he swirled his tongue around your opening and which made you grind your hips against his face, he placed his right hand over your hips to keep them still. He looked at you and said l love how sweet you taste, and l could be buried between your legs for the rest of my life and die a happy man.

He brought his mouth back to your pussy and brought his tongue to your clit, and than brought his left hand to pull back your hood so he could have better access to your bundle of nerves, you were moaning so loud and basically cry out Alex’s name as you were still coming down from your last orgasm, you had one hand in his hair and pulling his hair, you other hand had a death grip on the rails of the headboard. Alex ran his teeth lightly over clit and you cried out “Fuck! Please do that again” and he obliged.

Alex than let go of your hips and put two fingers into you and moved them and a decent pace and kept working his tongue on you exposed bundle of nerves, you were so turned on you that you had to let go of Alex hair and move to the headboard with your other hand you were so sensitive that you were seconds from cumming again and then you felt it, it felt like you had you urinate and all you could get out to warn Alex was “OH Fuck! Alex l’m gon…. And then your squirted all over his fingers and wrist he pulled his head back enough to watch as he continued thrust his fingers in and out of you and he excitedly said “Fuck, Yes! Babe, good l love when you squirt all over my fingers.” You had to pull away from him as you were so sensitive and told him you need a second. You took your second and pulled Alex into a hardened kiss you went to get him to lay down, so you could repay him for the two orgasms, but he knew what you were going to do, and pushed you back on to the bed and grinded against you.

Alex asked you if you were ready for him and you looked him in the eyes and pleaded with him to fuck you, he lined himself up and slowly pushed himself into your warmth and he had to take a minute to get adjusted to your tightness and let you get adjusted to him, you begged him to move, he pulled out slowly tell just the tip was in and slowly pushed back in and that was the pace he kept for a while as much as you loved love making with Alex, you want no you needed him to be rougher, you asked him to go faster but he just kept the same pace, and when you needed him to go faster, you tried to get him to flip over, but he grabbed your right leg and put it on his shoulder than he grabbed your left leg at the knee and pushed it into the bed and began to thrust faster and harder into you grabbed hold of his arms and begged him not to stop.

You moaned “God Alex you feel so good, and l can feel you everywhere! And you are hitting me in all the right spots” Alex “You feel so good wrapped around my cock babe, l love how you feel around me and how great you feel when you clench around me” You “Please, Alex let me ride you! Please!!!” You thought he was going to say no, but to your surprise he kissed you and let go of your legs and put one arm around your waist and one hand at the back of your neck, and rolled over on to his back, without even pulling out of you. He put his hands on your hips and you sat up and grinded your hips back and forth and put your hands on his chest to keep your balance. *Before you started dating Alex, you were never big on riding a guy, only because they always wanted to be in charge and that meant that you were on you back or your hands and knees, which got boring even for you.*

You bounced up and down on Alex as you were coming down his length Alex would snap his hips up and you could feel him so much deeper, your fingers would scratch down his pecks and he winched in pain and pleasure. You could feel your third orgasm of the night was coming and you knew by the grip that Alex had on your hips and groans he was getting close to his end as well you began to ride him hard and faster and rolling your hips. Alex looked you with hooded eyes “Y/N fuck you ride me so good, God l am going to cum!” he took his left hand off your hip and dipped his thumb down to your between your folds and gathered some of your juices and brought it up to you clit and rubbed tight circles and said “Babe cum for me! You need to cum all over my cock right now!” and just like that you felt Alex release in you and could feel him coat your walls, you came for the third and final time that night, you collapsed on Alex.

As you two came down from your highs you felt him wrap his arms around you and rubbing your back, you felt Alex softening inside you, but neither of you could bring yourselves to move. Eventually you brought your head up to look at him with a goofy little smile on your face and lightly kissed his lips, you pulled yourself off of him and got off of him and laid next to him and had your arm around his waste and he had his arms wrapped around you. Alex “How are feeling now? Now do you understand that no matter what anyone says about you, l think you are the most beautiful woman ever!” You “Yes, l feel, better and l understand what you mean, and l am Thankful for everything that you do for me and Ursula. I Love you so much?” Alex “I love you too”

#Alexander Skarsgard smut

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henry-hart · 6 years

Text

Mo’ Danger, Mo’ Problems s1 ep2

this one is long, just saying. lolol I just really loved it and had a lot to say :))))))

“OK HEN’S VOICE IS DIFFERENT IN THIS EP asjlksjk guess there was time btw this one and the pilot

he’s still incredibly adorable tho

“He’s gotta fix that elevator.” ...and then he never did lolol

OKAY so 13 yr old Henry found a way across town at almost 12 at night???? NO MY SON. THAT IS DANGEROUS (also does Swellview have a bus system??? did he walk??? I need to know.)

“’Put this watch on your wrist.’ Sure. What else would I put it on???” .....

hologram Ray pretending that Hen poked his eye out askjsl

“I’m gonna contact you on this watch now.” “What do I do with the old one?” “Toss it up in the air.” “.....Why?” “It’s about to self-destruct.” “Dahhh!” *tosses watch but it doesn’t do anything* “Hmm. That’s weird It’s supposed to--” BAM lololol

Do you think they chose Puerto Rico history for Hen’s test subject bc Jace is Puerto Rican??? I mean, it’s a lil specific to be coincidence (i hope they did)

“Ah, Puerto Rico. Land of....” “Puerto Ricans???” “Right.” alakjsklj

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS EP. THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY!!!! (I’m remembering what happens later in the ep lol)

antique bottle shop named “Glass from the Past” gotta love the witty names

“Let’s blow some bubbles and fight some crime.” so I see we aren’t into lame puns yet lolol

the “awwww my boot!” line is in this ep “Up the boot! Ow!” “HA!”

“Give me that pretty lavender bottle...because it matches my motorcycle helmet.” asjdlkj you can always count on hd bad guys to be goofy “You better bubble wrap that, chump! That ain’t no good to me busted.”

soooooo Ray walks in through the front door of the shop while Hen just....kind of.....walks in from...the side??? Like, Jace literally just entered from the side of the stage/set. wowowow lol

“Kid Danger.” “Yeah.” he looks so smug ajsklsjksjlk like, “that’s right. you know who i am.”

Ray telling the robber to try hitting him again lolol “Try to keep your arm straight.”

*robber hits him* “Strike three.” Hen pops in “That was only two...” “Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals.”

RAY YOU JUST THREW THE ROBBER INTO THAT MAN’S GLASS. WUT R U DOING???

“You really want to fight us?” looks at KD “Can I just fight the kid?” Hen’s all “???” lolol

“No you can’t just fight the--” “Sure he can! Come on, tough guy.” “Ok.” *puts his helmet over Hen’s head*

poor Hen is just spinning around

golf clubs in a store that sells glass. that’s gonna end well.

“KD! Catch this golf club!” *hits Hen in the head* aksjlsjsk

CM AND KD YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!! YOU ARE BREAKING ALL THAT POOR MAN’S GLASS!!!!

“CM! Where are you?” “Follow the sound of my voice!” *a game of Marco/Polo w/ A LOT OF GLASS BREAKING ensues*

“Would you superheroes just leave!!!!” I feel for you, man.

Ray had to stop a wild, golf club swinging Henry lolol

“Where is he??? Did I get him???” he asks, standing amidst all the glass he broke while RAY got the bad guy

“Yeah, you got him.”

“My whole store is destroyed!” “No need to thank us.” “Thank you?” “You’re welcome.” Ray y r u lik dis

Hen’s hair is all wild from the helmet ajskjlskj

“Let’s go, KD.” “NO!!! Nobody leaves until you boys clean up all of this broken glass.”

MY POOR BB HAS TO BE UP AT 7 FOR SCHOOL. RAY YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL HIM TO HELP YOU. YOU ENDED UP GETTING THE BAD GUY ALL BY YOURSELF. HENRY JUST BROKE MORE GLASS. LET MY SON GET HIS SLEEP!!!!

“This will only take us like....5 hrs. I’ll get u a broom!” *Hen just sinks to the floor* :(((((

Ms. Shapen just gave Hen a wet willy. aksjlksj The ever classy Sherona Shapen, ladies and gents.

CHARLOTTE IS SO TINY. EVEN THE KIDS IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS ARE SO TINY. THEY’RE. ALL. SO. TINY.

“This is what happens when you stay up all night on Twitflash and Twittlegram.” alksjskjls

poor Hen slept through his whole test (much like in my fic....hee hee)

J....y wud u want....a....wet willy???? (I love Ms. Shapen’s answering face alksjlskj)

Hen just drops back down on his desk. my son :((((

THE FIRST EVER TITLE SEQUENCE!!!!!! (last ep just had the title of the show. this one has the whole “It all just kind of happened” shebang)

“Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.” Do you Ray? Do you?? (peep him charging ppl for that “protection” in a few years)

Hen just pouring an ENTIRE POT OF COFFEE into, as Char calls it, “a comedically large cup.” askdksjslk I fell you. I don’t drink coffee, but i. feel. you.

never get tired of these whack shows they watch on here. Natural surgery???? Surgery w/ no anesthesia??? what is that???? lolol

“You’re 13. You can’t be drinking this much coffee!!!!” “But I need it!”

concerned friends ftw

Jasp asking Hen about puberty......

“I haven’t had any dreams bc I’m not getting any sleep.” my bb...:(((

“I always have the same dream. It starts with me getting a horse for my bday. Then Jasp shows up. Then the horse kicks Jasp in the face.” “But I end up being okay, right?” “No.” her face kills me lolol

SIREN HART IS BACK ON MY SCREEN AGAIN. IT IS A BLESSED DAY.

“We’re home! Hen come help me please.” “HENRY, COME HELP YOUR MOTHER!!!” gotta love that s1 Piper

“What what what???” that’s exactly how I respond too hen alksjslkj

HEN MAKING DINNER. :’)))) I. MISS. THESE. DAYS. THE. HART. FAM. IS. MY. FAVE. AND. THEY’RE. NEVER. TOGETHER. ANYMORE. *cries*

how does one make chili balls????

“Make them spicy this time.” I love Piper so much gah

“Seriously? I’m like so busy. I don’t have time.” Ya’ll....the way he said this. he sounds so stressed.....my bb....I’m crying.

remember the days when Piper used to be anti-having Jasp in the house?? lolol I mean, she probs still is now, but she used to be a lot more vocal about it. “Aw man, Jasper’s here???” “Piper be nice.” “But Jasper’s always here. It’s NOT okay!!!”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” “Oh no, mom. Jasper’s going to use our bathroom.” ajskjslj

Piper telling on everyone as soon as her dad gets home akjslksj classic

their dad was a lot more....tolerable earlier on. I don’t mean he’s a bad character or anything. It’s just, he’s usually played for laughs now instead of being a parent. We get to see him actually parenting Hen in this ep, and it’s so nice.

“Jasper’s using our bathroom.” “Oh jeez.” Like father like daughter kajslkj (also looks like Hen got his phrase from his dad. cute!)

“and Henry said he’s not gonna make dinner.” “What??? It’s his night!” “I’M GONNA MAKE DINNER!” leave my son alone, Jake (he’s my son. not yours.)

YAS. JAKE SITTING DOWN WITH HENRY TO GIVE HIM A NICE PARENT TALK ABOUT MS. SHAPEN CALLING HIM ABOUT HENRY’S FAILED TEST. YAS. YAS. YAS. I LOVE ME SOME HEALTHY FAMILIAL CONTENT!!!!!

“She called you at work?!?.....Ah, that’s so rude of her. God.” alksjslk nice save hen

“Do you realize how important Puerto Rican history is???” aksjlkjs I really thing they’re doing this bc of Jace. Like, I really do.

Hen apologizing for letting his dad down :’))))

JAKE. HART. BEING. CONCERNED. FOR. HIS. SON. YASSSSS. He sees that maybe having a job is causing Hen’s grades to slip THIS is how you parent. (wish i had me a dad like that...)

you don’t get your 12 yr old daughter to drive u home from mouth surgery.....looking at you s4

“I can’t quit! My job’s a really big deal.” *puts hand on his dad’s leg* “It’s a junk shop. *moves Hen’s hand* You sweep the floors.” ajskjskjskl if only you knew

Hen’s like “I’m gonna go upstairs and study right now!” he takes off and his dad grabs him at the last second and makes him do this spin and akjsljs I just thought that was funny

“You study after you make the chili balls. And make them spicy this time.” He and Piper share this look lolol they’re so similar. it’s crazy

Hen yawning as he serves dinner :(((( he doesn’t even eat. he’s going without food AND sleep. MY SON NO!!!!

“I posted a pic, and now it has 45 comments. So now i have to comment on the comments!” “I’m about to comment on you.” asklkjskl (too tru tho Pipes)

RAYMOND. STOP FUSSING AT MY SON. HE IS TRYING HIS HARDEST. HE CAN ONLY DO SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE.

“Why aren’t you on your way over here???” “Because. I got in trouble for sleeping in class....and i had to make chili balls.” “Chili...balls?” “It was ‘my night’.” lolol I love the way Hen says that. so snarky

Hen stretching over his bed like “I’m just gonna....” slaps himself in the face to keep up “Maybe I can just....I’m just gonna lie down. 5 minutes tops. just 5 min” before he just passes out is SUCH a mood.

Okay, Ray coming in thru hen’s window all angry in covered in sewage is HILARIOUS

like, I love this little “I’m gonna kill him” angry dance thing he does aksjlkjs

oh my god he’s waving his smell in Hen’s direction asjksjsl

“Awww what’s that smell???” “I’m that smell!”

“Well, Ray, I guess I fell asleep.” “WeLl I gUeSs I fElL aSlEeP!!!” Ray u sound like scooby-doo aksjskj

“You know what’s down in the Swellview sewer???” “....poop.” “POOP!”

omg I forgot about Pipes being suspicious of the voices in Hen’s room

“Who are u talking to in here???” “Nobody.” “MOM!!!!!” “Aw jeez.” using his dad’s phrase :)))))

Hen blaming the smell on piper aksjlslkj

“It’s Piper.” “What???” “She hasn’t had a bath in a week.” “That’s a lie!”

“You disappointed me tonight.” “I’m disappointing everybody. People should just call me ‘Kid Disappointment’.” Hen....:((( (but the way he said the last part was really funny akjdlskj)

WHAAAATTT???? RAY WANTS HEN TO TALK TO HIM TO HELP FIGURE OUT A SOLUTIONG TO A PROBLEM???? YOU MEAN HE’S NOT BEING UNJUSTIFIABLY PARANOID OR RIDICULOUS??? HE’S NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS??? HE’S NOT BREAKING THE LAW OR HARMING OTHERS OR DOUBTING HENRY’S INTEGRITY????? WHAAAATTT????

^^^^^that was a jab at the Ray we’ve seen as of late

“Time. School. Working for you. My family. It’s just a lot to handle.” TOO TRUE HENRY. TOO. FREAKING. TRUE.

“I do know a guy who can get rid of your family.” Who, Ray. Who do you know?

Ray actually wanting to fix a problem rather than make it worse. Yes.

and so begins Ray’s crush on Siren. Nice try dude. My crush began the second she was on screen.

“Who’s this?” “My mom.” “Niiiiiiice. Is she still, uh, married to your dad, or--” “Yes.” “Does she ever seem lonely or--” “Go home, Ray.”

“The picture, Ray.”

aksjdklj I love that interchange.

also Hen just has this portrait of his mom in his room lolol what a momma’s boy :)))))

Jasp x Char covering for Hen even tho they have no idea what’s up ;’))))

GOOCH. MY MAN.

Henry does NOT have hepatitis Japser!!!! ajslkjslk

Gooch and Hen harmonizing those weird sounds omg lolol

“Oohloolooloooloooo--why am I doing this?!??!?!”

“Relax, kid.” “I can’t. I’ve got a huge makeup test tomorrow. I need to study, and you guys are making me go ‘oohloolooloo’“ “It’s ‘Oohloolooloo--” “I don’t care!!!!” I LOVE sassy Henry

all studying done in 30 seconds???? Where can i get me one of these???

“It’s a cerebral data transducer--or as we call it, the HRZ.” wtf???? lolol

“Why am i locked in a chair???” Hen asking the real questions.

the way Ray says “Puerrrrto RRRRRicoooo!”

“Will this hurt???” “Yes.” WHAT???” lolol

okay can you imagine the now jace being as extra as this jace??? No??? I didn’t think so. lololol

“Well?” “That hurt BAAAAD!!!”

“I don’t know anything about P--” *starts spitting out random PR facts* askjljsk “Wooooaaahhhh. I know Puerto Ricoooooo.”

the amount of times they’ve said Puerto Rico in this ep is crazy. I’m definitely convinced they did this for Jace alskjskl

“Do you think it’s cheating???” “Ehhhh.” “It’s a gray area.” GOOCH X RAY ARE MY FAVES. (i love Schwoz, but Ray x Gooch had some good chemistry.)

“I really doing this appreciate you for me.’ ASKLJDLKSJ I LOVE THIS PART OF THE EPISODE. THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE MY FAVORITE PART.

at first, i didn’t even register that he’d switched the order of the words. I was like, “Ok, I knew what he meant, but something about it made my brain feel weird???” lololol

I wonder if Jace had a hard time getting the mixed up order right akjsksl

I love the way Ray says “Uh oh.” with his eyes closed. Like, “I knew this might happen, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t.” lksjklsj

“Well you could’ve before that you told me!!!” THESE PARTS ARE MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD.

Henry: *screams all high-pitched* aljsklsjls I’M CACKLING

I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!

“So I’m gonna girl like a days for a few screams---wait.” LOLOLOLOL

*screams again*

“.......You guys wanna get lunch?” CLASSIC Ray. (can something be classic already in the first ep??? I guess the word is vintage. VINTAGE Ray.....but those r the same thing??? I don’t know ajksjlsk)

“The Vermont army finally surrendered and fled the coconut plantations.” “Coconuts in Vermont?” askjslkj school really be like that sometimes

Jasper just doodling the whole time. ME.

“Okay everyone. Get out.” Ms. Shapen is a constant mood. lolol

“100 my makeup test on I got!!!.....I mean, I got a hundred on my makeup test???” aksjlk I love u Hen

*randomly screams* “...” “.... That was inappropriate.” “I just got excited.”I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS PART MAKES ME LAUGH ALKSJKLSJ

“I’m really proud of you, Henry. I’d give you a hug if it wouldn’t get me fired.” ajsksj

“Have a good weekend.” “Too you.” “....”

Henry said “Yeah, baby!” to Char. :))))) (I know it was just a quick thing on the fly, but it’s still cute)

“Where were you?” “I go to had somewhere.”

ya’ll. Henry’s mix ups are KILLING me.

“One more time???” “I. had. to. go. somewhere. Nailed it.”

*randomly screams again*

CHAR’S SCARED FACE. I’M DYING.

“You later see!” ALKSJKLJSK

I LAUGHED FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE END OF THIS EPISODE.

I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS EPISODE. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I DID, AND IT WAS GREAT TO BE REMINDED.

this ep had it all

tired/overworked/stressed hen and his supportive friends and fam

then there’s that GOLDEN last two minutes with the side effects

just. wow.

props to Jace for doing an incredible job

he really delivered the goofiness. love my boy :))))))

rewatching these was such a good idea <3333

#this ep is def one of my faves #i was reminded how much i love it #hope this was enjoyable for you guys too #hd rewatch #mo' danger mo' problems

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youseriousjayse · 7 years

Text

Oh shit. I wanna fuck my boss. This is...not good.

I stg I barely caught myself from just walking over and kissing them while they were saying something ridiculous after the shop was closed. Oh fuck oh fuck. THis is bad. They’re married and have kids and they seem like a good person but sometimes…I definitely think they’ve flirted w me before. And I seem to be a favourite for no apparent reason. They talk about their spouse and their personal life all the time to me (esp their spouse), but I’ve only ever heard them mention their spouse like twice to other workers. And they compare me to their spouse all the time. Always saying I sound just like them or I do this or that just like them. ANd I would definitely go for it if it was an option which prob makes me a horrible person, but that’s okay I already knew that.

Idk how they manage to be both “ur really hot” and “ur the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” It’s maddening. And they’re so fucking funny and that’s my weakness and they’re always trying to make me laugh. idek how old they are. in their twenties im 96% certain. Im horrid at guessing age. there’s def at the v least 5 yrs b/t us. but idrk. I don’t even hypothetically want anything serious. I literally just wanna be able to fuck them and feel mushy about them on the side and end it when I leave next july. Obv this isn’t ever going to happen but thinking about it hypotheticlly helps me short my shit out. idk. idk. i really like thm and they seem to like me. And the thing is it’s not even just about wanting to fuck them. I care about their kids and that means a lot bc i fucking hate kids and one of theirs is an attention whore and i rlly hate that type of kid. but i like them bc they are my boss’s kids and my boss loves them. And I love hearing more about them (even tho it’s always p sad shit about them acting up in school and always being upset bc my boss is never home)

Just…..wow. if anyone needed more proof im fucked up. have at it.

Seriously tho on the seeming interested in me and showing favouritism front, they are…so protective of me. Like they are Never like this with the other employees, and it’s definitely not like I can’t defend myself. The most marked example would be the guy who runs the bodega across the street.

He came in one day, screaming about how my manager had accused his son of stealing. So they were like, I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I’m sorry if there was some sort of miscommunication. And he just kept screaming at them and calling them a little bitch and a f*ggot repeatedly, and threatening to bash their fucking head in. And they were just taking it all very calmly and professionally and saying ‘I don’t recall this happening, I’m sorry if you heard differently’ even though he was physically pushing them and still threatening them and calling them all sorts of things. Then he finally left, but not twenty minutes later he came back, just as angry, shouting the same stuff and hurling around slurs and threats and pushing my manager around. Again, they kept very calm and responded reasonably and evenly the same stuff they had before.

Again he eventually left. But then he decided he had apparently still not had enough so he came back a third time. Just as angry as before, just as hostile and antagonising. The assistant manager on duty had come up front the last time to see what was happening, but had not intervened. However this time she tried to help, also calmly saying the same things as the manager. She had been working the day before and seen the guy’s kid come in and nothing like that had happened, so he started calling her a lying fucking bitch and saying he was gonna kill both of them, and kept more and more violently shoving my manager, which they continued to just calmly take.

Eventually the guy was just was repeatedly calling them a f*ggot again and again and again. And I, also calmly, asked if he could just please stop saying that word and he fucking rounded on me and started really laying in calling me a little bitch and all sorts of things, which I didn’t react to at all, because I have an excellent poker face. But I have Never seen my manager angry at all. Not even a little bit. But they were fucking furious, and they shoved him roughly back to the door (mind you he’s a big fuckin guy) And got right up in his face and fucking snarled Get The FUCK Out Of My Store (I did Not know actual snarling words was a thing, I thought it was just smth writers said to make the angry words more emphatic, but it is a Thing™) and shoved him straight through the door. And then they just took a deep breath and turned back around calmly as ever and was like ‘sorry about that’ to the other customers and started rearranging the counter like usual.

And that whole situation has come up twice since then when we were talking (it was months ago), and both times they were like yeah it was whatever, but when he started yelling at You I fucking snapped. And I’m like. Yeahhh how do I take this. Because I am not defenseless and I don’t look like it and I’m not tiny or fragile looking, we have several other employees more likely to feel the impulse to protect but,,,they never do? It never even seems to occur to them?

Just the other day I had a lady come in who was clearly spoiling for a fight. Rude and aggressive as fuck, but I treated her calmly and professionally bc that’s what I do, but she just kept saying dumb shit, so I kept responding, not in any offensive or upset way, just repeating the facts in a calm manner. She really started yelling and was like 'I don’t like ur fuckin attitude you keep talking back you’re getting all smart with me.’ And I (again. Very calmly.) Explained that I was simply answering the questions she asked. And she was like Where’s your fuckin manager bc you’re being rude as fuck you just keep talking back.

So my manager was at the register next to(?) mine(the counter is like an L shape and has registersat either side of the corner). And they turned around and said 'I don’t hear anything unprofessional or rude’ but she kept yelling over them and talking about how rude I was, so they kept saying I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so they were like 'Okay you can go now. Please leave the store’ and gave her the corporate number when she asked for it angrily, saying she was gonna complain about us (like so??? Fine. Here’s my name and the store # idgaf).

After she left and we took care of the couple of customers left they turned to me and were like 'wow she was really spoiling for a fight.’ And I was 'yeah I mean I saw it when she came in and was super aggressive right off the bat. She was so angry for no reason. Like…chill lol’ and they gave me a sort of look and were like 'I don’t know how you deal with that (((which, mind you, every employee, and Definitely them, deals w shit like that without going off))) I feel like it bothers me a lot more when they get like that to you, than it actually bothers you’. I just shrugged, but again……they dont,,,,do that for other employees. They always stick their neck out for me or get angry (I mean as close as they get to angry, excepting the thing w the bodega owner) on my behalf. It’s…what am I supposed to make of that?

Literally if they’re around and a customer tells me to lighten up or smile or smth (bc my face is just really unexpressive unless I put a lot of effort in) they’ll just smoothly come over and be like 'I’ve got the smile for ya’ or if someone is being aggressive or harrasing about it, they won’t even pretend to be cheerful and nice, they’ll just be like 'My employees don’t get paid to smile.’ Which,,,I’m not the only one who never smiles. Actually it’s just my manager and one of the assistant managers that always smile. The rest of us are p brusque and more obviously dead inside and dislike interacting with people. But again, they’ve never done that or said anything for another employee (that I know of, obv I’m not always around, but I’m around enough to feel like I practically live there).

And just. Bloody hell, they will talk about aggressive customers and tell me the customer got in their face and will be like 'seriously, like this’ and move their face so we’re barely not touching. Like. ???!?!?!????? And they get real close to me and brush by me a lot. Mind you, they do not do this to other employees (esp the face thing), but they’ll like lean over my shoulder to look at my paperwork or make fun of me (not like in a mean way just something stupid) or they’ll come over to put their numbers in (bc we need higher clearance on the computers for like,,,almost everything it’s so stupid) and they’ll like get right up next to me or squeeze in front of me. Which again, they do not do to others, and no other employee does that to me or anyone else.

If this was a book ppl would be pissed about the slow burn like Okay Why Aren’t Things Happening Already??! But unfortunately real life and an actual human being is more complicated than that. And I don’t know what to do with it.

~update: they just turned thirty. Fuck. I’m just barely twenty.

Edit: New jeans. very nice new jeans. dammit please stop rearranging the shelves in front of me while i’m trying to work, your ass is distracting. And a new tight tight jacket too and they wear it with the sleeves pushed up right below the elbow and that’s just. Always hot. The fucking jeans together with that stupid cursed jacket makes it incredibly difficult to look away. They’re just hhhhhhhhh I can’t. This is. So much.

YEAH I could prolly go on about them forever, but I know this is super obnoxiously long. I don’t know who I’m apologising to tho bc literally nobody reads this. Which is prolly why I overshare but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#personal #serious fucking angst

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sarcastic-doodle · 7 years

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When the antis for KC come calling...

So, @morleybell got an ask on the above topic, and I wanted to reply to it,but it got too long so I thought I’d make it into its own post. So the question was what to reply to antis who claim Klaroline is abusive.

Here goes :

Not even in the fandom since s5(never in tumblr!tvd fandom like ever) but I do skim the tag every once in a while. Came across your post, loved the general gist of it, but would like to add some and clear up some stuff you passionately stated in bulk😆, if you don’t mind. I’ve been wanting to get this out for a long time.

I think the crux of this whole matter is an element which is called a ‘morally grey character’ ; you know the ones - not entirely a villian but too twisted to be a traditional hero. Obviously there are naysayers who say Klaus doesn’t fit into the mold of someone w/ grey morality, hey haters gonna hate but the jury’s still out on that one apparently even though it’s obvious. Moving On. More on this later.

• agree with the SC part. If one looks at the whole picture from the start, Caroline got shitted upon and shoved to side by the writers and her supposed ‘friends’ right from the start in favour of Elena even by stefan. The afterthought. The girl every new male addition to the cast(not all but close) hooked up with. The secondary character whose romantic plot usually has their fan going “uhmmm not exactly the one I’d choose for her. This is just settling” because hey!one needs to fill up the episode, right? Who cares if she was a second choice?

For me, Klaroline came in at that part of the plot, where I was just about tearing my hair apart because the MF gang were really pissing me off. Caroline was never a priority, everyone was willing to let her be collateral damage in this ever revolving war against elena, she was just supposed to accept that her best friend is dating her assaulter. I mean I get that she is the cornucopia of giving, but thats what friends are for! To make these givers realise that enough is enough, now think about yourself, make yourself a priority. The Caroline I fell in love with initially, the one with the big dreams, the one who wanted to live live to the fullest, explore the entire world because yes embracing vampirism gave her that opportunity….That Girl was entirely diminished by the end. There’s growing up and having responsibilities and then there’s having to grow up because of not-their-doing responsibilities. Klaus had come in a AT THAT CRUCIAL POINT. I remember thinking ‘yesss, she’s a priority for once’ also ‘idc if this relationship works out or not, but this one can be her ticket and reason to move out of that soul-sucking selfish town and friends’

• IT’S A SUPERNATURAL SHOW. This. Funny and irritating why people forget this. The show depicts them as these all encompassing, good in combat and strategy, well versed in lore of the centuries, sensual, blood-drinking vampires…I’m afraid that goes hand in hand with blood and sex and murder and deceit. If you want a century old virgin goody two shoes, I believe you’re in the wrong franchise. For this show, its not about who is good and who is bad, it’s about who is evil and who is more evil, and that too is relative on how you define evil/what you consider evil. Also what’s blatant in this fandom, is the hypocrisy. This is what I wanted to especially expound upon :

So what irritates me about the fans the most is their hypocrisy. Also the puritan fanaticism some have embraced and loudly preached. I wont even include DE and Damon in my arguments, i think they’ve been discussed at length by all (like it deserves to be) this is better explained with Stefan. When people say Klaus is a mass murderer and has killed soooo many people over the years, ergo klaus is evil but stefan is my innocent bae(not verbatim but the intent is obvious)…. conveniently forgetting the fact that stefan killed so many people too, went ripper twice, in his 300(?) yrs…had he lived as long as klaus lived…who know whether the number would have risen or not (hint : it will)Imagine living on and on for so many years, the world around you changing, civilisations changing,people you loved dying, but you’re set in stone. Immortality has been romanticised like all get go, but realistically I can’t imagine someone not going absolute nutters every once in a while whether or not you have a reason to keep living on. The show has shown only the positive sides of Stefan and his dealing with vampirism which in turn makes him appealing, but I can’t imagine someone with Stefan’s characterisation - the broodiness and the guilt - would live a long innocent life. Psychologically, something will always make him crack. I know I’m coming across as someone who hates Stefan which is simply not true. S1-3 Stefan and S1-4 Caroline were my absolute faves. Believe me, I only watched the show until then for these two. But I realised we do excuse his murders w/ - he didn’t want to, he feels guilty, he repented, it’s out of his control. But ultimately clinically speaking(with my inner stefan fan supressed)…There were dead bodies. Families mourned. Lives were taken. Stefan regretted it yes, but it doesn’t give them their life back. None of these vampire’s victims (Salvatore’s, Mikaelsons’,Forbes’) are coming back. Why do we not still hate stefan or any 'good side’ vampires for that, but love to do it to the Mikaelsons?

Second thing I mentioned was puritanism. Simply put, this goes in the good box ; this goes in the baaaad box. Some people differentiate characters like - this is a good person(can do no wrong) and this is a bad person(be suspicious of this one’s dealings ) from the initial interactions and context of the show. Characters on the 'Good’ side in the start, are reveled for doing 'a thing’ ; but if a potentially grey character from the 'Bad’ side does the same 'thing’ they are jeered upon for doing it. Am I saying don’t point out and jeer evil wrongdoings of evil characters? NO. I’m not trying to be apologist for villains, most deserve what we throw at them. BUT But but, in this case, on this show, is the line differentiating them really that clear? Are these 'good’ and 'bad’ characters exclusively on those sides? Like you mentioned, Kol is killed, Klaus retaliates. Had a sibling from the 'good ’ side been killed by the Mikaelsons, pretty sure they’d have retaliated the same way. We cheer one but jeer the other? Why? The deed is the same, cruel and inhuman on both accounts, yet we celebrate one and mourn other?

What people instantly think when I say this, 'you’re probably a person who excuses abuse in real life too’'you believe this…you must be horrid in real life’….*shrugging* A. There is a clear divide between fiction and reality. one I have to actually live in and the other is entertainment. Damn sure I can differentiate between them. B. There is an actual sense is not automatically trusting the NiceGuy, everyone has flaws if you look hard enough, they’re gonna come out eventually I’d rather not be lulled in a false sense of security. I’m not saying The Mikaelsons are good people and they just need some lurrvvve and understanding. What I’m saying is the Mikaelsons are shitty. But so are the Salvatores. So is Elena. And sometimes so is Caroline. If its just fiction, isn’t it hypocritical thay we only hold few accountable, but excuse the behaviour of the rest?

When people say KC is 'abusive’ I always take in with the idea that it’s because Klaus is heartless mass murderer. Which he is. There’s no going around that. He IS NOT a good guy. That stabbing didn’t really make sense to me…why did he do it? But tyler’s mum yeah…if you can excuse the council for their behaviour, don’t be a hypocrite please when the favor is returned. On a completely different but still related note, this is similar to the bullying topic in HP. When it comes to being bullies for whatever reason, people easily excuse the marauders because ultimately they were on the 'light’ side. But draco is held accountable even though he was technically younger than james. But back on the topic at hand.

But KC? Like you provided the lines and to anyone who watched the show….Caroline was not impressed by him. Attracted to him?Sure. But she never acted on it at all until 5×11. She kept questioning his motives, was suspicious of his moves, never defended his actions, brought up his misdeeds to him when he tried to pretend to be a good guy, tried to sneakily gain favours from him utilising his interest in her, it goes on and on. You never hear a single praise for him from her lips (as far as I can remember) All she did was that she gave him a benefit of doubt. Try to understand his motives rather than just IDENTIFY. EVIL. KILL. Try to understand that someone who has lived this long, what goes on thay ancient head, did he ever want to be human? , how does he justify his misdeeds? But Was it enough? Well canonically, apparatently not.

And I get it. I’m not saying excuse the murders by the Mikaelson’s too. NO. I’m saying hold all of them responsible. Caroline. Stefan. Damon. Klaus. And then critic the characters after that. Don’t claim some sort of moral high ground when there isn’t any.

This show, these writers…when given enough screen time, they could redeem an irredeemable villain of their choosing. Seriously, for real. (Damon gets it but Katherine or Kai(this one would need toooo much work) doesnt) and people lap it up. Basically, it’s on the writers on who they choose to get to be the GoodGuy, which villian gets forgiveness for the misdeeds even though the other villains did the same thing. I don’t watch TO but I’m sure they gave 'reasons’ and 'backstory’ on why Klaus behaves the way he does. I mean if you think in a critical analysis sort of way, that is how a redemption arc works. You get to know the inner workings and history of the protag and what experiences made them the person they are, then it’s upto the audience whether or not they forgive them.

But I digress. What is the main point of this entirely too long rant, is that saying KC is abusive is just absurd. Not on this show, not in this context. If its klaus that is your problem, you better have a problem w/ the rest of the lot too. Also he is the one guy who was the only one who asked Caroline whether she would like the cure instead, didn’t use her solely to get to elena, prioritised her, didn’t think Caroline’s love to plan and shop and everything that does not scream stereotypical intelligent girl as shallow and superficial, gave her plenty opportunities to make something more out of her life if she wanted with or WITHOUT HIM. If she wanted to fly free alone for a decade or even a century or two, go for it as long she came back to him when she’s had her fill. Yeah, that just screams abusive and controlling to me😒

Bottom line anti kcs, I’m sorry you wanted this to be a black and white clear issue so you justify your hate. But it’s simply not. I’m not saying KC IS an angelic done-no-evil ship, but when ships all around are pirates, what’s another one,eh.

Also, might as well reiterate, I haven’t seen the show after 4×22, just kept up w/ the show from a lot of different shipper’s (SE, KC and SC shippers too unfortunately) blogs and my sister who watches the show, so I might be off w/ some of the facts. If any of them are blatantly obvious and it’s because I missed something crucial in the remaining seasons I’m tagging the people I’ve seen answering KC qs or were active in their KC defense so this post is refined @my-ownfairytale @klarolinedrabbles @jonsnowbitch

#klaroline #tvd #klaroline meta #anti defense #sorry guys it's not sherlock #for a show like tvd you can't judge ships based on the characters #bcos they're all shitty #judge the ships on their interactions w/ each other and the rest

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pigtailedgirl · 5 years

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Initial Endgame Review

Here’s a breakdown of what I thought first of Endgame when it was spoiled and then when I saw it. Yeah, I liked nothing about Endgame and I still stand by this.

I'm disappointed. So fucking dejected. This is the world we live in. Where spectacle is the only thing that matters. Where Endgame and Disney and Marvel are big and will make money regardless. Hail Hydra is used once again to come out of an anti-nazi/anti-fascist icon. Deliberately doubling down on the controversy of Hydra Cap. That's a-ok for Marvel and Disney. Nebula kills her past self, just as abused as she. Gamora died and looses her character arc. Neither kill Thanos. That's for Iron Man. Widow is the sacrifice and not mourned as much as Tony. Of course. Tony gets the attention. Understanding of his dad. A family. The great fixer of the tech. The sad goodbyes. The funeral. His fans will be upset he died, but it's entirely all about how great and heroic or unfair his death is. How he was so special to save the universe. Don't look too closely at this hubris-tic and hollow sacrifice though. He gets to vent at Steve about his losses, like Steve and the whole world didn't also suffer, and Tony wasn't wrong in AOU, CACW or Infinity War. He gets to go off and form a family while others can't let go, while there is grief and chaos in the universe. That family, that daughter is given more weight than the snap reversal. Meaning the MCU leaves the universe broken, people returning to 5 yrs of chaos and change and grief and probably other lives lost in the snap or since, so Tony's kid lives. There is no Aunt May. Peter's narrative is about Tony. Thor's narrative is a joke. So some Asgardians survived Thanos. The favorites from Ragnarok even if they would have not fled a battle. Thor revenges in manly angst fashion and then becomes a sad sack. Yes, grief is apparently Fortnite in the snapped MCU, and dude bro behaviour and alcohol binges and apathy. This is his legacy. Not ruling, not kindness, not learning. At least he gets a narrative. Bruce doesn't. Hawk-eye is given the same childish man angst men think are great when they fridge women and children. I lose my family and get tattoos and a mohawk and kill people. Then I get them back and am fine. Natasha as the sacrificing woman of the team. She only matters if she's caring about others or a lover. Her as a person, a fighter, a survivor herself? Nah. And Steve. Oh god, Steve. This is your character huh? The moral right. The worthy of Mjolnir. Back to ugly outfits and Tony acceptance and bland looks and speeches about teamwork covering a character hole. Robbed of getting to express real feeling or conviction, because it would expose the lack in all the BS around you. *And then I ranted about Steve but was off on the time travel because it was based on spoilers* Other minor quibbles because I'm mostly about character. The plot is stupid and full of unnecessary jokes that make it a joke to take seriously. So any emotional payoff, or action payoff, is of course both fan-service because it's devoid of any theme or meaning, and not weighted by realism. The excuse of it being comics is old. This is a film. These are a series of films, with their own continuity and build. Structure and narrative flow and points to the stories, are good things to have. I'd even say it's a failing of comics industry today that they are more interested in an event or idea of character or story, then actually building and telling one correctly and with purpose. Infinity War was entirely meaningless as well. It set up character's being gone. That's all. Thanos as a villain or his backstory was given no point, as it was not carried over to this film. The assine 50% and value of life argument is also given no examination here. Apparently Thanos was right and the consequences were only that it makes people sad. People, our heros, only care about the snap, not morally or out of good economic and social reason, but because it took away our favorite characters momentarily and gave a veneer of it's so sad and bad.

#infinty war #avengers endgame #mcu

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bloginstantmooncollector-blog · 6 years

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