#like. i love my friends and mutuals ofc

[scattered-winter]

hoo boy today was a Bad Day huh :]

#im so fucking tired #apparently i cant fucking be a good sibling to my brother like. at all #because apparently he thinks i HATE him?!?!?!? im just. really really upset about that rn #because my siblings are the only people on this planet who i KNOW i would jump in front of a bullet for #i fucking. i cant even form words on how much i love them #and the thought that one of them thinks i hate him genuinely distresses me so much ive been crying for the past half hour #hhh and now i feel like im just being Dramatic #i want to stop feeling emotions <3<3 #i need to talk to my brother and work this out but like. #talking about emotions is something my family Doesn't Do. we never have and never will #there's a reason why i relate to the batfam btw. like. a legitimate reason. #but yeah i need to figure out how to Not lock everything im feeling down and have a chat w my brother #and somehow put into words that he (and my other siblings) are the only people i love more than anything else #like. i love my friends and mutuals ofc #but for my siblings it's...Different #i love them with everything in my fucking soul #and i cant SAY that because i dont know HOW when nobody in my family has ever talked abt emotions to each other #my dad told me he was proud of me today and i legit almost started crying #thats the first time i can remember where he's said that #my family is just like the batfam fr [derogatory] #anywayyyyyyyy #gonna cry myself to sleep and then completely shut down everything emotion-based in the morning like always ✨✨✨ #winter speaks

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them. #i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz) #still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^ #I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO. #next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

[cdmodule]

Been seeing too much negativity lately so new tag "game" time: Object show fans and artists, reblog this and talk about your favorite object show artists in the tags (and maybe what you like about their art)

#I HAVE a lot but #jellyaibo of course . hi nate #for 1 morbillion reasons but esp teh gijinkas ofc (and the yaoi #jeakkers for their great composition skills + bgs and creative ideas #not currently drawing much object stuff but dinoburger #very fun way of stylizing characters #and dynamic poses+beautiful backgrounds #my partner nat ichiiart/applefan28 #for stylization & insane gijinkas/character design #not a fanartist but object show creator - heloise has my fave artstyle of any object show #AND THE BGS DAMN #also goonsbrain my friend goon #some of my fave object ocs ever #THERES DEF MORE i could do all day on this #literally i love all my mutuals art so bad #oh also schoolunchtray and awseriously/shaperealm have some Very Unique n creative object art #inanimate-sludgesanity has a very awesome style of drawing objects too (and also folder <3 i like him #petra decompose1 also has INSANE ocs n stories #ok ill stop now #unless i think of more

[blizzardfluffykpop]

You sent me an ask so I shall return the favor! What is the most recent Kpop group you’ve gotten into and how did you find out about them? I always love hearing fan “origin stories” lol

Thank you for returning the favor~ That would be The Boyz 🥰💖 I love hearing fan "origin stories" too hehe (This is gonna get long I love them sm)

Anyways I've known about them since debut? I loved Bloom Bloom Pow with my whole heart when it came out and tried to fall for them then- It didn't work. The next time was when The Stealer (TS) came out~ I had watched them perform for Road to Kingdom- because ptg was on the show too- But I really loved TS cb- sm so that I bought the album about 6 mos later with my favorite members as inclusions at the time (Eric, Kevin and Hyunjae). But nothing came about of it even after watching the weekly idol episodes... Then came Whisper era and I ended up biasing Changmin (Q) and loving that song but again nothing came out of it.

(A little backstory is that Changkyun (I.M) got me into Dominic Fike's music-) Thus, when tiktok showed me Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo dancing to Babydoll earlier this year as a dance cover: I fell. And then I finally checked out Watch It~ But Hui had his solo and it distracted me completely from falling further. Then I had gotten sick and decided 'well, what if I watch their content?' And I did... I watched their hello82 interview and their reaction to fanart of them, and lastly their mafia dance. And I loved each sm that I decided to check out more.

It was the first time I had watched their content and wanted to see more. And now, I watch their content almost daily. It's kind of like they revived the joy of kpop for me? My (old) ult of ults has been on hiatus due to the military so it's been stagnant content lately for me. But then they came in like a breath of fresh air- and I simply can't get enough. This month will be 3 mos and I honestly hope I'll follow them for a long time. (I think they're my new ult of ults tbh)

And lastly now here I am as a Younghoon and Juyeon bias (with bias wrecker: Changmin... he's doing everything to be bias again). And with them having a comeback I loved with my whole heart this past month, I think it really solidified them with me. Honestly, I'm so happy with them.

#my 'fan origin story' hehe #lovely mutuals #asks #kate rambles from here #i even started a new kpop journal just dedicated to them and my thoughts- it's a 200 page journal and i have nearly 50 pages about them #and i started it in february ebhbha- #it's so funny because i saw one of my ults' concerts in theater the month before they should have became the ult of ults and here tbz comes #if the theory is true that you fall in love with certain people/groups/things at certain time then that means even when #i wanted to fall in love with them- that i had to wait until now to fall for them even if i wanted to fast forward it- i think now is a #perfect time- it's when i need them most i think- and fuck i could go on about them forever and why they mean sm to me in such little #time but oh how i love these guys- #no seriously everything i wish they could do- i find out they've done or will do- or for like pcs i like them a certain way and by golly #does yh do my favorite poses- and their music is just ?!?! i love it sm- ofc i've listened to them before a lot but ?? it's my speed rn #kate rambles #did i drag my close friend into them too? yes- yes I did- but she had full free will- she could have stayed on the happy mbb boat instead #of jumping into the water and swimming to lip gloss island with me- but alas she didn't so it's even more fun cause i get to be a new #deobi with her- and it's literally the best experiance i could have ever asked for- she prolly won't see these (i'm banking on it) and #honestly i'm so thankful for her- for joining me in this 'insanity' we've gotten ourselves into- i'm glad we were both stolen from our mbb #home together- it's sm fun to talk about tbz with her- because she's experiencing them new just like i am- i could go on here too #but i won't- so i'll stop here- i love these boyz sm tbh (every time i say it even if it's a lot- it doesn't feel enough)

[rw-ethology]

Do you have theories on why lizards and how relatively open are they to being befriended by slugcat? Them continuing to be a threat to slugpups makes sense, as well as possibility of the lizard accidentally biting the slugcat during a careless attempt at feeding (which is why I now only give them snacks by tossing and running the moment I am sure the Lizard is locked on it). But usually it seems predators take longer to form such mutualistic (suppose?) approach, especially to prey. Cycles maybe?

Looks like kind of a mixture of both generally recognising when it benefits them to stick around, and resource-guarding behaviour directed towards a creature that has made itself look very valuable.

There's two main ways a slugcat can go about taming a lizard- by establishing itself as either a source of food, or a source of protection (saving one from a vulture causes your reputation with it to go way up). Either way, you've convinced it that eating you or letting you die would be counterproductive at this point, so as long as it remains convinced it'll follow you around and protect you from its rivals and other threats so it doesn't lose out. There's probably a number of things that factor into why they'll act in this way so readily, but if you look at it as an alternate expression of other traits and behaviours they already show off, you can kind of see where it might stem from.

Lizards are incredibly food-motivated- they'll go for pretty much anything they can fit in their mouth (that's large enough to be worth the effort), and will ignore almost everything else to run and cache it in their dens, presumably to store for later instead of wasting time that they could be spending finding more. Especially considering the state of the world and limited time pressure placed on every creature by the rain, in general it's probably kind of difficult for a large carnivore to consistently find enough to eat every single cycle. A successful catch whenever you need it isn't at all a guarantee; with that in mind, them having developed some degree of stockpiling behaviour would make sense, and suggests at least a rudimentary understanding that being careful with your food supply hugely bolsters your survival odds in the long run. Likely as a direct consequence of this, many lizards are highly territorial and/or competitive to varying degrees, and will chase rivals down and fight viciously to steal each others' prey or protect their resources under threat. It's also important to note lizards have a global reputation system- if you're nice enough across the board they'll become passive and if you harm enough they'll start to fear you, a behaviour unique amongst predators that suggests as a species they're just about intelligent enough to learn from experience and observation when it's better to just leave something alone.

It's most likely these specific characteristics that allow a lizard to become "tamed" so quickly. All you're really doing is taking advantage of their ability to recognise a valuable benefit, and redirecting their drive to defend one onto you, by teaching them to associate you with good things. No matter how tasty a slugcat looks, if it's proven time and time again that it will provide more food and support (that you desperately need) while alive than it could ever be worth dead, then why on earth would you want to let it die, or allow some other creature to take advantage instead?

However, this relationship only lasts as long as you put the effort into maintaining it. If you fail to let them into your shelter or feed them enough in subsequent cycles, or throw weapons at or around them (even by accident), they'll decide you're no longer worth the effort and quickly go from warning-bites to straight up turning on you as your reputation drops. Additionally, considering they by and large don't seem to recognise the slugcat's other companions- be it other tamed lizards or pups or friendly scavengers- as anything other than a rival or something else to eat, it's pretty clear that to their understanding they really are just guarding a resource and not joining a pack; lizards are not social creatures by nature with very little need to have developed emotional intelligence (even yellows I suspect aren't very close with each other beyond their advanced hunting formations and sharing prey), and any cooperation is strictly down to improving their odds of survival, not any form of attachment or gratitude as we would recognise it. It's still considered mutualistic, as both parties benefit from the relationship, but while a slugcat might become emotionally attached to their companion, the lizard isn't really capable of reciprocating in the same way.

With all that in mind, it's likely not the case that they're any more open to being "befriended" on an emotional level than any other predator in-game- they're just the only ones you can successfully lead to believe that you might actually be more useful alive than you would be as a few extra food pips, and for that to work out in your favour. Other major threats to the slugcat like vultures, miros birds and most large invertebrates most likely either lack the intelligence to discern one prey item from another, or they're so high on the food chain there's simply no meaningful benefit they could get out of collaboration (or both). It just so happens that lizards manage to be in the perfect position on the food chain with ideal behaviour to take advantage of that it's made possible to convince them being your friend is worth it, however temporarily.

-----

BONUS: the first lizard i ever tamed. was a little bit pathetic and utterly failed to protect me from anything before falling off a building in sky islands trying to wrestle a white lizard and losing, but the several painful minutes I spent being mediocre at squidcada hunting were worth it anyway. I miss him every day. godspeed you blue idiot

#rw-ethology #main post #asks #anonymous #my screencaps #rain world #rainworld #slugcats #lizards #really good question i love mutualism.. had a lot of fun coming up with this stuff #*taming* a wild animal is absolutely not the same as *befriending* it in a way that we/social animals would consider a friendship #or like.... domestication (that is a WHOLE other beast and i Highly doubt that's where lizards are heading) #like ofc it can be friendship To You! but believing an animal feels exactly the same is assuming a lot. can be dangerous at worst #though it can also be argued that to a creature where that's the closest it can Get to caring- like reptiles- it's still really meaningful #its just a matter of perspective. even if its not Affection based you can still have a strong bond with them/be important to them #so imo of course rw lizards can still be your friend :) they think you're important enough to protect after all. thats a high honor #perhaps the highest a lizard can give #just be nice to them!!! #downpour spoilers #< nearly forgot. for slugpups ment

[truethes]

okay so following the lovely help of many mutuals, to begin my little reactivity on this blog i am doing a quick spring clean! ultimately, please like this post if you wish to remain mutuals.  there’s no harsh feelings if you don’t! but coming back to this blog is going to involve a lot of effort i need to put in my end, and i don’t wish to make anyone uncomfortable if they no longer wish to interact with me. if you’re someone i a.) write with currently ( aka we’ve had a thread in the last 5 months ) b.) are one of my shipping partners, there’s no need to like this because i will absolutely continue to follow you - however, you’re more than free to to confirm you’re more than happy to continue following! ps: i’ll rb this at different times of the day over the course of the next week so everyone has a chance to see it.

#�� ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #i have like 15 drafts atm i think so !! #but i know i have been terrible with my mutuals interaction wise #sv is my highest fandom still but trust me when i say i am getting back into dr and yttd so ... dont rule me out 0:) #ill also be leaving good friends ofc and people who i interact with a lot on my other blog bc friends are always welcome here and i know #people cannot be as interactive as they wish. #sometimes and also. i do love and appreciate my friends sm

[floorpancakes]

#xxxholic #idk #chapter 203 #oomfs and friends may be aware of my 1980s sweater covered in math fractions with the answer on the back #that type of thing #as with watanuki most of my fashion headcanons for doumeki are 'canon + my logical conclusions and indulgences' #so ofc doumeki being unserious goofy vibe guy immediately makes me think of 80s-00s novelty wear #plus its a funny combo if you imagine him alternating between super smart cool monochromes to retro arcade carpet type shit #and then IMMEDIATELY to the biggest flex of all #nightmares tier novelty tshirts to bed #the real reason watanuki has to turn the lights off is so he doesnt have to look at them when they #mekis whole core is alternating between being an idgaf king who loves to troll and believes social norms are stupid and annoying #and being unironically rly cool and deeply driven and deliberate #not that these r mutually opposites or smth but i like the idea of fashion reflecting character #for example this outfit and his turtleneck and black and white suit addiction means hes cool as hell #but its also giving mourning vibes #when you want to mourn the death of your potential relationship but the situationship is so good you both dress like its the met gala #to hang out and drink wine and make eyes at each other

[itstimeforstarwars]

The struggle about posting stories that I KNOW are going to be zero-note wonders is that I have to finish them before I post them. I have to rely on myself to enjoy them enough to finish them, both because I will not be getting feedback from readers saying 'wow I'm so excited about this!!' but also my brain will interpret a lack of positive attention as people hating it instead of as a reasonable lack of interest due to writing about unpopular characters or writing in a dead fandom. This is one of the fun tricks you learn when you've been writing for over a decade.

#chit chat #conversely if i know that a handful of mutuals are gonna adore a story and I'm having trouble with it I'll go ahead and post the first chap #because the excitement of my friends is often the push i need to get the words flowing #see: galidraan #ofc this only works when the world is not crushing my face to the dirt but there's only so much u can control #obviously i am still going to post my darling zero note oneshots #i used to not post things that i expected wouldn't be popular and five computers later i have lost everything #except what i posted on ffnet #so like. if it gets finished it gets posted at this point #because i had stories that i LOVED and i still remember fondly and i fucking LOST them forever #because it was on an old computer that my parents upgraded #because it was saved on a floppy disk that my grandmother threw out #because it was in the gmail of my school account that got shut down the day i graduated and even tho i shared it to my other account #it was deleted #no #i have learned that i must post #on this account. on my ffnet account. on my cringe omg nobody look at this account. #let it be preserved as long as it can in as many places as possible and then maybe i can see it ten years on

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

i love the murdoch mysteries fandom. i have yet to meet someone i agree with. i love yall so much

#yalls opinions are wrong i love that for us <3 #/lh #murdoch mysteries #its actually funny like i would kill some of my murdoch mutuals for their opinions but yall are my friends so i cant #in other fandoms i have groups who are all on the same page but like. Murdoch Mysteries Is A Show. so ofc its polarizing

[saviorkink]

x

#so its been 3 months exactly since me & my ex like... said farewell #very dramatically #i just found out he blocked me on tiktok. 2 months ago i would've been devastated but now i just feel kinda bummed out #like is this really how 4 years of best friendship & 1 year of dating fuckery ends? damn lol it wasn't even all that #but mostly i just think its extremely pathetic & childish and LOSERRRR BEHAVIORRRR . for a 100k tiktok acc #to block a 150 follower account that doesnt even follow him + doesnt interact #like ok you said you weren't in love with me?? yet you feel the need to block me 3 months after the fact #im minding my business unless he breaks first (which has been the case a few times) #its still hard to get over him but he's making it easier every day! #just yesterday i was on the train On my way! to a concert & i remembered the afternoon before my harry concert in june last night #the mutual interest if you will had been re-established like a week prior & i texted him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes (ofc) #and the tension.......... GOD I MISS THATHSFDJKFS #walking around decathlon flirting oh it was SO STUPIDDD. THE GIGGLES. personally i've never really experienced that on that level before bc #like it's the best friends to lovers thing its the fact that we both felt the energy shift very clearly and were leaning into it #but not actually doing anything about it yet #just making stupid jokes flirting giggling but acting like actually nothing is going on #when i damn well know that if any of my friends saw us that afternoon they would've side eyed us SOOOOO HAARDDDDD #not to wax poetic over the guy who fucked me over so many times but. the electric energy ..... #i'm probably not going to feel That ever again #whatever! whatever #txt

[eeunwoo]

ok maybe it’s time to accept I no longer like kpop on a deep level

#except for a couple of groups #I feel like I shouldn’t have been on tumblr. like getting to know other kpop fans has kind of ruined the enjoyment for me #not my mutuals or friends ofc I mean generally #like I gif stuff that’s pretty but I care about maybe a third of the people I gif and even that is generous #I love the music but nothing beyond it feels as it did a couple years ago #these things are like a lot abt community and if u don’t vibe w the community it ultimately affects how u feel and interact I guess #I’m using this as a safe space to talk abt it btw so don’t start sending me asks trying to debate it please :// #mrow.org

[astrxealis]

hi good evening i disappeared for most of the day after rambling a lot bcs i suddenly felt super lonely and tbh it isn't. fully gone and it never will be but also i'm doing better now. also hi new zero theme even if i said i would do a ffxiv or gbf theme. also i almost forgot to say hence this is added into this post but yeah i disappeared and wrote a lil for my wol for bits in msq where she is dreadfully alone and you’d think letting out my feelings would help and it kinda did but what helped most was me fixing the docs with the layout and all haha i’m kind of a workaholic methinks. also i’ll finish gbf main story soon i promise. also i’m sleeping before 1 am today as well i promise

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #also hi i will never stop rambling Hashtag I Love To Talk Even If I Feel Like No One Listens Sometimes Which Is Okay (Mostly) #and hi i made like a bunch of zero icons recently so i was like yo i want to use this so i then also made a gif (wholly made by me <3 #except for the video ofc being taken from the official cutscenes of the game ofc. i think.) yeah <3 #i really want to get more into all kinds of editing so i'll do more notion and gdocs stuff soon alongside tumblr editing sb actually being #active soon and i'll start making more gifs and all but tbh idk either bcs i might just compile them all for myself because i prefer it #that way but yeah i'd love to do stuff for friends and mutuals and literally anyone so hi that is that #okay i will stop rambling now! i finished my chem hw w/o breaking down so that's great. also i lov my mom sm mwah #also for the first time in so long she made the mango graham thing again and i am sad she didnt call for me to help bcs i miss doing that #but idm bcs it is so fun to eat also it is almost the weekend and i want to do my homework in advance but also write and game and do sm #but i will uh fr stop rambling for now. also in advance hii good night

[bandy-andy]

LOOKS AT YOU WITH BIG AUTISTIC EYES please tell me about your crimeboys ib au..

Well well well, Thes I am so glad you asked you see, because I was remembering the game and Immediately I was hit with the idea that Garry is literally so cWilbur and then in my mind it spiraled from there.

So in this au, I think that Tommy is a high-school student who hates going to class and Technoblade was already planning on going to an art Muesum on this one day Tommy was particularly sick of it.

So Techno said yaknow what Kid, listen, you want to skip? Fine, but you are coming with me to see this gallery show. Phil won't suspect a thing.

Tommy agrees, because, well- he may hate the idea of staring at art but he hates his classes more so he skips school with Technoblade.

He and Techno get to the gallery and Tommy quickly ditches Techno at the front desk to wander. As any energetic Tommy would, ready to find the ugliest thing he can to compare Technoblade too.

As he explores the gallery, eventually at some point the lights flicker and suddenly he is the only one there.

And well, you know how it goes from there. He explores the Muesum and finds himself walking into a painting on the floor that had somehow become real.

Suddenly he is somewhere completely diffrent, and the art everywhere wants to hurt him- and this rose he found is directly conected to his life.

He wanders. And he wanders- until he finds this random ass guy nearly passed out on the floor mumbling about a blue rose- and being the humble and charismatic guy Tommy is ( and totally not afraid of being alone) he helps him.

This man turns out to be none other than Wilbur Soot- wary from the seemingly endless amount of time he spent stuck there.

Both of them want to leave and Wilbur not wanting to let some random kid wander around decides to stick with Tommy. Together they work to find an exit to this hellscape gallery with Tommy's joking attitude to help Wilbur stay calm. Wilbur helps Tommy with puzzles and tasks he otherwise wouldn't of been able to do on his own.

In the actual game we are presented with Mary. A painting who pretends to be human because she wants to live a real life with real friends. I think that well- this concept of wanting to be something other than what someone made you- and the want to feel like a person with their own life outside the dim reality of their situation- fits cTubbo well. So Ctubbo takes the role of Mary in this au.

When they find Tubbo wandering about, Tubbo instantly becomes friends with Tommy, and he fits in well with them.

He is a little odd and thinks the scary paintings and sculptures to be cute. But its nothing to concerning.

Now of course in the game there isn't a good ending for Mary and Garry both. Because Marry is the antagonist in the game (although a tragic one)

That being said in my perfect little world- Although they fight and Tubbo seems a scary painting like the rest, Tommy and Wilbur bring Tubbo back to the real world with them when they hop back through the painting at the end. Because I think if anyone could see the humanity in someone it's Tommy.

I could rant on and on about this a whole lot more. I love alot of the concepts in this game, but for the sake of not rambling on to long on one ask, that's pretty much it- take this messy 30 minute doodle to emphasize my vision.

#sorry this is late i was working and doing important silly tasks all day #but anyway i love this game so much and i love the music and the themes and the old nostalgic vibe and i think that Wilbur and Tommy would #make a great Garry and Ib and i think theyd bicker the whole time but take comfort in eachothers presence in the face of h or r ors #i think that Wilbur would be particularly... reluctant over Tubbo #simply because hed already been stuck there so fucking long and was convinced most everything there was evil #but Tommy is just kinda like... Tubbo well he is my bestie and he just wants to feel human and have friends and touch real grass #and Wilbur cant help but empathise after alot of crimeboys esc drama ofc #anywho #lmao i just love them and this game #rambling bandy #bandy answers #bandy answers zombur #bandys mutuals #sorry if none of that makes sense i am tired

[avatardoggo]

_(:3 」∠)_

#so today marks a week (?) form when i called my (ex) best friend and she didn’t answer and i left a voicemail and ofc she didn’t answer that #not like i was expecting her to but yk a gal can dream so ya ig we’re not friends anymore. surprisingly i haven’t cried about (yet ik myself #i’ll cry but i thought it’d be sooner than later) #and i was talking to a mutual friend and she asked if i wanted her to talk to her for me and i decided no bc if she wanted to she would yk? #like it’s not by force and if she wants to be a coward and just act like our friendship meant nothing than i can’t control that i can voice #my hurt and pain but if that doesn’t move her than at least i said something right? it just succs bc i don’t use the term best friend let #alone friend lightly like we did commissions together with our fav characters like multiple!! like i don’t do that with just anyone #i have a poster in my room of a drawing my sister did for her christmas present last year that i colored and printed and and I GAVE HER MY #COPY OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS THAT I WROTE A BUNCH OF NOTES AND AND A LOVE LETTER LIKE IVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE AND AND #i told her about my social anxiety and ocd which i haven’t told Anyone (besides you guys <3) and not even my family knows and she can’t even #return my calls or texts and it’s like a slap in the face like it meant nothing to her like i opened up sm and it’s like it meant nothing to #her like i’m nothing i’m just this person that was convenient to be friends with but now IDK BC SHE WONT TALK TO ME #ok now i’m tearing up now and if i start crying it’ll be gross and noisy and i don’t want to cry rn #vk overshares in the tags

[darth-does-stuff]

i will say with anxiety, no matter the absolute million downsides of having it, you can easily tell when you actually really like hanging out with someone

#/p ofc #but like #with someone i know and i talk to but i wouldn’t hang out with #whenever i’m conversing with them it’s always. when is this over can this be over oh god #but with my friends it’s like #oh i never want to stop talking with them theyre so fun #still not worth having anxiety for hhskflgksbdna #btw mutuals you fall under the second category for me i love talking to you all!!!

[bisexualgorgeous]

sometimes i think abt how at my rep shows i was so excited to see tumblr people and didn't rly get to meet any of my mutuals at the shows but i saw someone with their tumblr url on a poster and wanted to go up to them and say hi but i got kinda shy and then posted about it and looked at their blog and i could tell they were the kinda swifties only on tumblr to meet taylor but i thought still it would be nice to say hell so i finally did and like spoke to them for a few minutes and then they basically ignored me as soon as i followed them and i ended up going back to my seat without even saying goodbye and i'm p sure i unfollowed them like a few weeks later bc i just didn't feel good about the interaction

#this story doesn't have a point aside from like #it was such a trying and failing to make friends on the playground moment #it makes me a bit sad #and idk if i'll do bracelets for my eras shows like for the reason that i don't think i'll be any good interacting with people #but i was so excited for rep bc it was the first time i'd ever had like a following on any social media #and i met like two mutuals and that was it i think #i'm over it now ofc but i think it's just that thing where i'll always feel a bit distant from communities even when i love them #bc i struggle w/ interacting with people