#lmao me last weekend

[joscribbles]

felt like doing a tarot card again

#doctor who #eleventh doctor #eleven #matt smith #my art #fanart #it’s been a while since i did one #i actually did a traditional version too #bc i went to lfcc last weekend and wanted to get my sketchbook signed by matt smith #but turns out he charges 110 pounds for that #which was a little too much for me lmao #2023

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso

#yknow i thought maybe id get immune to his insane level of attractiveness from this weekend after posting so much #but these had me going: 'WHAT THE FUCCCCKKKKKK' super hoarse LMAO #im so confused at him. he was very cute and angelic in the earlier interview and now he looks like this???? unfair. #theres something about a man trapped by the sleeves of his racesuit.... #okay anyways this should be my last work of the day actually #i have to go do a school thing so i shant be online...probably #BUT AH NO SERIOUSLY ITS BEEN SSO FUN YESTERDAY AND TODAY!!! #like it really is a reward after suffering thru all his races since zandvoort basically #but mostly cota and mexico killed me but this wknd has reminded me how fun racing and f1 can be #thank you everyone for being so fun hehehe #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #2023 brazilian gp #we do a little bit of f1

[varilien]

happy 25th anniversary to my favorite brainrot in the whole wide world :) <3

[video ID: a music video comprised of clips from the 1998 trigun anime, primarily scenes about vash, knives and rem. it’s set to the robin skouteris remix ‘crucify my enemy’, a mashup of songs by muse and within temptation. end ID.]

#trigun #trigun anime #trigun amv #vash #vash the stampede #millions knives #knives millions #rem saverem #I WAS WANTING TO. DRAW SOMETHING FOR TODAY. BUT I'VE BEEN SICK SINCE LAST WEEKEND LMAO #yeah i know the manga anniversary was a few years ago already but i still haven't read the manga so THIS one is special to ME #i have. so so so many little sentimental feelings about this show. i cannot verbalize them i shall simply sit here and rattle so violently #videos

[m-kyunie]

redraw of a tiny random AU

#dgm #d.gray-man #yulmallen #everytime i use that tag i laugh a little its just me stranded in the middle of the ocean with it #alma karma #kanda yuu #allen walker #from last weekend in light of new update I wanted to post #i go at LENGTH abt that AU in the org post if ur curious its so ugly tho LMAO #tweaked a few details in my head like I wldnt have tiedoll & Mana interact actually but like whatever

[hyacinth--girl]

#pls answer I love this shit #poll #polls #and for more info on me #I went to Noah Kahan last weekend #I met Julia Gillard at a book signing in 2015 #I have a baby tooth with no adult one behind it so dentists are like might as well just see how long it stays for (I’m 26) #don’t think the rest need explaining lmao

[fudgecake-charlie]

#i haven't been able to go through tumblr recently #i have a bunch of stuff ive needed to do and i haven't done any of it!! #i'm behind on secret life too :[ i saw pearl's episode last week but i haven't been able to watch any other POVs #or anything from session 2 which is sad #i don't wanna mute the tags so i'm just staying off the dash #but hopefully HOPEFULLY soon i get to have time where it's just me and i can just Draw #this weekend was nice but i am still doing a bunch of stuff #some good stuff too! my friends are lovely! but still stuff. and coursework. #gonna have to live like a hermit for the next while in order to have fun online and make fanart /silly #time to last minute work on my second group presentation project in two weeks! #delete later #the words of a fudgecake #[scheduled] #edit: after this was posted i broke up with my ex of almost a year lmao (its a good thing dw)

[soldier-poet-king]

Will my suffering never cease

- went to good Friday evening service even tho it's not a day of obligation, didn't go yesterday evening to Maundy Thursday for a variety of reasons

- priest manages to fit homophobia and transphobia into his sermon. Not even gay marriage. Just unions, that let ppl share taxes and have hospital visiting rights. And big bad scary surgery. Like. Completely unrelated to the matter at hand. Says SO LITTLE abt the Passion, managed to talk for 10 minutes without really saying ANYTHING. Takes Pilate's 'what is truth' and instead of engaging in the long philosophical and theological discussion around that question, decides to use it as a rallying cry against wokeism and a godless progressive society.

- my two ex best friends were there. Ran into them. + One's husband, who I introduced her to a decade ago. Like I'm mostly over that, no longer shitty and resentful, fully know that it was partially my fault and born from my own terribleness at 19 and undiagnosed untreated mental illness. Still uhhh hurts tho??? As a reminder?

- music bad. Ok I'm petty. I'll give the trads (1) point. I don't like guitar mass. I will NOT agree with the trads in assigning moral weight to my aesthetic preference. It's simply a preference, which does not make any musical form inherently superior to the others. But the triduum really lends itself to Latin hymns and chants, in my heart. My other fave church music is traditional Black spirituals. I would greatly prefer either. But just. If it sounds like an acoustic version of a pop love song. I just. I can't. I KNOW I'm the weird about Jesus romantically girlie. But I am not vibin with this folks

Literally would have simply Walked Out. Hit da bricks during the homily. But was with my family so 1) cannot out myself 2) did not have house keys on me, so I was suck regardless

Anyway I said I wasn't going to do fun things today but I'm so upset and cranky and I did chores all day, I am going to catch up on dungeon meshi. Marcille is my best favourite cringefail girl I'm obsessed with her and surely the wlw neurotic fussy mage who loves her friends will not betray me like this

#the duality of fran #faith tag #also like #.highly unlikely that i was the only closeted queer person there #and obvs extra full of the triduum a lot of non regulars attending #so GLAD that they decided to make it such a lovely and welcoming environment for THE BIGGEST MOST SIGNIFICANT WEEKEND IN THE FAITH. #surely this will encourage people and make them feel welcome and loved and cared for #yes yes there's that flannery oconnor bit abt not judging priests harshly #but also. its one thing to have a bad homily #not discussing the philosophy of pilates question is fine. i get most ppl are not versed in greco roman thought #but the absolute just. whining reactionary social conservatism #ON GOOD FRIDAY??? #even going as far as to be like 'those few of us who keep the faith' #okay sir. this isnt some uwu im so special and faithful unlike all those abomination degenerate queers #gonna get gay married for tax purposes/green card out of spite #(green card both ways i can get u cad citizenship lmao) #remove my reproductive system. idgaf. uterus free to a good home. all it does is give me health problems anyway #tho that last one is less dysphoria and more just. it's a fuckin pain in my ass medically speaking #also the triduum is THEE celebration for the gay chrisitans. its john the beloved. its judas. its projecting for us ok

[deus-ex-mona]

sorry guys normalcy is but a passing fantasy

#turns out that ​‘meoto’ is another reading for 夫婦 (married couple) #ahUAAAAAAAAA HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO DUM B TO HAVE MISSED THIS IT WAS STARING ME IN THE FACE FOR MONTHSSSSSS #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CAN I RETURN TO NORMALCY YET?????????? #THIS IS ENDING MY PRODUCTIVITY IM S OB B I NG I HAVE HALF OF THE LAST LXL ANIMEDIA INTERVIEW LEFT AND I CANT FOCUSSSSSS #IM. GONNA BE SOOOOO ANNOYING ONCE THE CROSSFADE RELEASES LMAO #WHO NEEDS A LAST STAGE MV WHEN WE CAN HAVE MEOTO MV— #TBH I DONT EVEN C A R E IF IT’S JUST A SINGLE IMAGE MV I JUST WANT TO SEE MARRIED LXL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #s . so b s is this real life or is this just (non)fantasy #i hate lxl why did they have to drop their marriage announcement on a tuesday? do it on the weekend like relatively sane people p l s

[granitxhka]

"we have 4 finals left to play guys focus" "real arsenal fans aren't celebrating until the season is over" for the love of everything that is beautiful in the world, shut up

#if I see this take again I'm genuinely going to start crying lmao ahhhhh #and if you get to the end of the season and you never celebrated anything then what?? they're not bringing a trophy out for you mate #did anything matter last season? if the only way you measure success is with a trophy then no maybe not #but when I put on last season's kits I don't remember the games we lost I don't even remember losing the league #I remember Martin officially being named captain and both nld games and the last minute winners and farewell Granit #even beyond last season of all the games I've seen in my life I remember maybe 6-7 losses #more than that I remember how fast hector was and when nelli debuted and mikel off the bench in his last game #I remember arshavin's 4 goals and that mf who broke aaron ramsey's leg and how watching cesc made me fall in love with football #how on the weekends it was arsene wenger who raised me #no one lets our players live and now you're not going to let your fellow fans live .... literally what are you doing here #it’s not your job to be calm it’s your job to support the club! you’re supposed to bring the passion wdym no celebrating until the end ???

[bri-does-art]

i know this probably won’t do much, let alone anything at all, but i’m sorry for the stress this site has caused you and so many other creators here. i’m not asking for you to stick around on here, but i hope you know just how meaningful you and your art have been on here. you’re amazing. /pos

Hey, this ask has done a lot more than you would think. Thank you, you are very sweet. <3

I've kind of made up my mind about what I'm gonna do for a while now, but I've simply been... too busy and overwhelmed to take the time to let you guys know. I'm not going to delete my tumblr, there's just. Too much here that I don't want to lose.

So far the game plan is: keep my tumblr. But do not upload anymore art or writing on it - not because it's gonna get scraped, because it was already getting scraped anyway, AI company deal or not. It's pretty much unavoidable at this point, unfortunately. I simply do not trust Tumblr with my data, if they're going to sell EVERYTHING, including private messages and such, so I'm not going to give it anything worthwhile to profit off of. Instead, I'm going to start uploading my art exclusively on Ao3, for now. I'll answer any asks I receive here on there too, as well. I'll figure some kind of system out. 🤔

The cool thing about uploading to Ao3 is that anyone subscribed to my profile or to the containment series I will make will get a notification anytime I upload something new. Having my art and writing in one place is likely going to be more convenient for you guys too, since you won't have to move across platforms to get the full experience. 😄It'll be different... but a platform getting too greedy for its own good won't stop me from finding ways to share my stories with y'all. I'll just find another solution.

(I've also been entertaining the idea of joining or making my own Discord server but. That one is a little more delicate. The idea of joining a server that has hundreds of members like a lot of this fandom's servers have, just. Makes me break into hives, lmao. (I am in the Ghost in the Machine fic server. I muted it an hour into joining, it was way too intense for me. |'D) That is way too many people, I simply cannot handle it. I'd be way more comfortable in a smaller group with a less rapid-fire rate of posting and conversation. I am also. Very picky about which servers I join, which makes asking for recommendations doubly awkward when I shoot them all down, haha... And making my own... Err, I can hardly keep up with a server I helped create for another fandom and mod for, I don't think I could handle two of them - I would need other people to handle the moderation for me, and I wouldn't trust just anyone to be a mod. I'd need to know them well enough to know I could trust them, and I... do not really know anyone in this fandom well enough to do that, sadly. I take server moderation very seriously, as someone who has had experience modding for forums back before social media was a thing. I do not know if that would make for a fun experience for everyone, and anyone who hasn't known that kind of supervised experience. It is comforting to me. It may be intimidating for others. So that's still a very hand-wavy, 'eehhhh' kind of thing still.)

All of this to say, that this isn't the last you'll see from me, far from it. I'll restrict my creative output to Ao3 for the foreseeable future, and I'll let you guys on here know when I make a new upload, so those of you who do not have an Ao3 account know when something new has happened.

So there you have it. 😊

#also just so y'all know #i AM working on the next CotA chapter #i am. about 40% done. #i needed to take a breather after that massive last upload and then life just. fucking tackled me lmao. #in order: my folks put up the house for sale. i have spent half of my weekends having to evacuate the house at a moment's notice. #so prospective buyers could visit. not very good conditions to write in. too stressful. #then i caught fucking covid for the very first time and had a BAD TIME. it took me weeks to recover. couldn't climb stairs for a while. #i think i still have episodes of brain fog 5 months later because of it. my body was really weird for a while after. #(writing is still a little hard after that. but i think i am slowly overcoming it. hopefully it doesn't show too much in the new chapter.) #random unexplained symptoms and more i will not share. then the holiday season came and went. #then we finally got serious buyers after months of having no-shows yank our chains and expulse us from our home for nothing. #the house is sold. then came the cleaning out and packing. we are nearly done and i am finally coming up to the surface to breathe a little #we are moving in a month's time so i might be a while before i feel stable enough to start posting a little more regularly once more. #so this year i may have to give mermay a pass. to my ENORMOUS chagrin. it's just not in the cards for me this year. ;___;) #but we are getting there. we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. and i am confident enough to say it's not a train.

[chrollohearttags]

this thesis paper is draining all of my energy and I haven’t even started it yet.

#I did the outline assignment for it last night but I have to wait for the live lecture to get better instructions #and bc of that I’m struggling to focus on my fics which sucks lmao #it’s not due till Sunday but I’ll be at the con all weekend so I was hoping to have it all done by Thursday #cherry chats 🍒 #fuck man just let me write and not abt public administration omg

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday. #but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its. #its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change. #whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

[mishtershpock]

.

#i’m here properly for the first time all weekend because i saw my fav band again last night <3 <3 #and i’m sorry. what the FUCK have i missed #more 7x06 promo with drunk buddie?? #buck’s arm around eddie?? #eddie getting his shirt sleeves ripped off?? #buck and eddie dj-ing with drag queens?? #journalists making sus tweets about the episode?? max gao refusing (for once lol) to comment until it airs?? #a buddie journalist tweeting the karaoke still and saying the episode was amazing?? #another journalist saying she’s already got a buddie theory after watching it?? #joaquin sedillo liking a tweet about an almost kiss?? #i’m so scared lmao. which way is this gonna go. is this gonna be bad or good for us #and the lack of chimney promo is WORRYING ME. like we know he’s fine but #where the hell is he and what happens to him. my guy #godspeed to us all. 7x06 is gonna be the death of me (hopefully in a good way)

[plaintoast]

us above water

in one hand, a photo of you asleep this morning in the bed we shared but define as mine. below that, the atlantic nearly invisible through the window i lay my head against. i risk the press of my thumb to the wiry hair along your knuckles for just a minute longer. maybe another minute after that. everyone else is asleep but i know i will dream of my head pressed between your shoulder and chin and wake missing you before we go our separate ways, so i watch the sky. it fades into early morning blue, the ocean visible once more. it reminds me of the dry shine of my mother's eye catching mine, our fingers intertwined at the table across from my brother's discerning gaze. not soon, but in a future we can talk about now, we take every flight together and i am not afraid who sees us touch. for now we relish the novelty of only keeping half a secret. you awaken as we fly into the risen sun, and i am blinded by the soft set of your smile, the sleep-struck grey of your eyes. i have not yet pulled away my hand from yours.

a poem inspired by @msmargaretmurry's this is for keeps in the head above water 'verse. becky, thank you for bringing this matthew and leon into the world. not only is the story a gift, it led me back into your fandom space, where i am constantly thrilled to be. i hope you enjoy this work you brought out in me!

#how do i tag this lmao #hockey things #fic stuff #matthew t #leon d #please everyone be SO nice to me i could've spent the next like week editing and toying with this but #i want to relish in the sudden inspiration reading this is for keeps brought me last night #this is like the first poem i've written all year a;sldkfj #ANYWAY <3 my little contribution to the HAW anniversary weekend #my poems

[thatgirlonstage]

I get that “the family that moves into the haunted house doesn’t trust each other enough to believe each other when one of them starts saying shit is haunted” is one of those genre tropes that’s like, it needs to be that way to make the story go, but I think you could do an interesting subversion/genre bait-and-switch by making a couple that pretty early on goes “no, okay, it doesn’t matter if you’re hallucinating or if the basement really did try to eat you, the person I love doesn’t feel safe so we’re getting the fuck out”. Idk it’s just really rare to see romantic relationships survive horror films and I think you could do something fun with it.

#I am still thinking about burnt offerings after it wrecked my shit last weekend #and like the context of that film is that all those people hated each other’s guts both in the story and irl lmao #so it would never apply there #but it got me thinking bc #‘would you leave for me? even if it was all just in my head?’ #has the potential for incredible romance between characters for whom the answer is an unequivocal YES #I was ALSO thinking about that film #in the context of like. it Seemed Important that it was a nuclear family with a kid #so what happens to that story if the impetus is really #we’re renting this house out in the middle of nowhere in the country #so that when we quietly invite my husband’s FRIEND Dave to come join us #no one needs to know or be asking awkward questions about why Dave is spending the whole summer with us #this is partially me being like. mmm. #I think if I thought about it more you could Say Something Interesting #about the fragility of nuclear families and how the individualist mindset behind them #cuts you off from perspective and support #with this kind of story structure #and partially me being like #I think it would be funny if the house that eats you is defeated bc it doesn’t know what gay people are #just bamboozled. why is there another guy here. get rid of him. why isn’t he leaving #ALSO to be clear #in this scenario the wife is a beard #but that DOESN’T mean she’s expendable #it means she is these two men’s single most trusted friend and confidante #and that they are gonna fight tooth and nail not to let a house eat her #the house trying to sow distrust by manufacturing a scenario where it looks like the wife is cheating: WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING

[fivekrystalpetals]

this story doesn't exist for me beyond this point in Retrace 92:

everyone is back home safe, the world is saved and they have another tea party, The End!

#friendship ended with ph #bsd s4 is my new best friend #pandora hearts #may-reads-ph #retrace xcii #aka pain #[EVERYONE READ PANDORA HEARTS AND FALL DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE OF ANGST WITH ME] #i am crying #for real i am crying #this is cathartic #i have never had a good cry in a looong time so oh well #i will read the rest of 10+ chapters later ig #deciding to read these last arcs altogether in one shot was a mistake #maybe some day i will make more coherent posts bc this story has truly plenty to write about #an incredibly beautiful and deep story will forever be on my mind #update: i made this post the other day when i finished till this point i don't have it in me to continue further lmao ;-; #i made a lot of screaming drafts while reading idk what to do with them #i think i will clear out the drafts and post them altogether maybe this weekend #so please block may-reads-ph tag if you don't want to be flooded #def not today bc waiting for another clown to be animated