#madam jin said goose rights

[disastermages]

How's wwx horrible goose doing? 🦢

No one knew what had set Hundan off, just a few minutes ago, the goose had been swimming in the pond he’d claimed for himself, but now he was chasing after Sect Leader Jin, both wings thrown out behind him and webbed feet slapping on the wooden floors as he chased the man from room to room.

“Hundan!” Wei Wuxian called, trying and failing to keep up with the goose as he honked and hissed, “I thought we agreed you would behave!” Madam Yu had threatened to lock Hundan in one of the boathouses during the Jins’ visit, it had taken a solid week and a half of good behavior and carefully hidden bad behavior to persuade her otherwise.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng called, jumping over the railing of one of the decks to run alongside his brother, “Catch your fucking goose before Mother does!”

Madam Yu and Madam Jin had long since sequestered themselves on the other side of the manor, but that didn’t mean Hundan wouldn’t chase Sect Leader Jin that far, even now, disciples and servants were leaning out of doors and windows to watch the spectacle, if she didn’t see it herself, Madam Yu would certainly hear about it later.

“Zixuan! Help me!” Sect Leader Jin yells, turning and looking at his son for only a moment as he emerges from a doorway, but then Hundan is leaning forward and biting at his ankle. The two of them launch even further forward, though Sect Leader Jin stumbles and nearly falls.

That would have been bad, he would have been completely at Hundan’s mercy then. The goose wasn’t exactly gentle when he decided he wanted something, he’d pulled at sashes, robes, beards, and on one incident with a poor disciple from Moling, swords, until their owners surrendered them. Any chances of recovering those belongings depended on how well Hundan could be distracted while someone dredged the pond. 

It doesn’t take any time at all for Jin Zixuan to fall in step behind Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, his own jewelry jingling and glinting in the sunlight. Jiang Cheng almost warns him. “Why is there a goose chasing my father?” Jin Zixuan asks, trying to overtake Wei Wuxian’s position at the head of their group, but falling back when he sees Hundan take another bite at his father’s ankle.

“I don’t know! Everything was fine and then I heard yelling,” Wei Wuxian pants, his stomach turning sour as they scramble into a turn without falling on top of each other, the three of them nearly running into a servant and her tray as they follow the sound of yelling and honking.

Hundan had all but led them straight into Madam Yu’s courtyard, her own pond was stocked with fish and blissfully kept far, far away from Hundan, until now.

Sect Leader Jin’s yelling had attracted an audience all through Lotus Pier, but Madam Yu and Madam Jin were just now coming out from her chambers, scowls already on their faces. “Mother! It’s not-”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get the chance to finish the sentence before Hundan catches the edge of Sect Leader Jin’s robe and pulls hard, sending the man face down into the pond before the goose leaps in after him.

The world comes to a stop as Hundan reaches his head down into the water and plucks the golden hairpiece from the top of Sect Leader Jin’s head before hopping out of Madam Yu’s pond, flapping his wings once at all of them before waddling back the way he came.

“Wei Wuxian!” Madam Yu’s voice cuts through the silence sharply, her steps heavy and quick as she marches up to the three of them. “I’ve told you time and time again to keep that beast of yours under control, and this is what you allow him to do? You allow him to chase after a sect leader and send him-”

Wei Wuxian is sure that if Madam Jin hadn’t started laughing when she did, he would’ve been made to stand and take the lecture for an hour and a half, on top of whatever punishment Madam Yu could imagine on the spot, but Madam Jin’s laughter cuts her friend’s voice off completely.

“What a splendid bird.” Madam Jin has to hold onto the railing of the deck as she climbs down the steps, still laughing with one hand at her side. “Young Master Wei has trained him very well, indeed.”

Madam Yu looks at her friend with open mouthed shock as Madam Jin takes only a moment to look at her husband, on hands and knees as he tries to wipe the mud off his face, though the sight of it only makes her laugh hard enough that Jin Zixuan has to step out and catch his mother.

“Mother,” He says slowly, his eyebrows knit together as he supports her weight.

“You know how he antagonizes the swans at home, Zixuan, leave it.” Madam Jin says, her laughter dying down to chuckles now. “Ziyuan, let the bird keep the hairpiece, it might remind my husband to behave on our next visit.”

Something shifts in Madam Yu’s eyes then, and for a moment, she shakes her head before she laughs too. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian look at each other with wide eyes, they’ve never seen anything like this before, but they don’t question it as they ease their way out of Madam Yu’s courtyard.

Later, at dinner, Madam Yu makes a point to reward Hundan with fruit from her own plate.

#asks #anon #wei wuxian #untamed goose game #madam jin said goose rights #should i post my goose fics to my ao3 im really tempted to tbh #Anonymous

[robininthelabyrinth]

2nd prompt: The ladies need some love. If you could give me something that passes the Bechdel test in the untamed universe, without needing lesbian relashionshs, it would fill me with joy

A/N: apologies for not really answering the prompt - for some reason, it gave me the idea to write a bunch of Untamed characters at a stitch-n-bitch and they have so much to complain about... 

“It’s just endlessly frustrating,” Wen Qing said. “I’m a doctor. A very good doctor. How is this the best use of my time?”

She angrily stabbed the cloth in front of her as if it had done something to her personally.

“Consider it practice for your suturing skills,” Madame Jin said, attending to her own embroidery. “Or as stress reduction – I find it especially calming to think of my husband’s face while I sew.”

“Mm, yes,” Madame Yu said. “Stab, stab, stab. I can see the appeal.”

Jiang Yanli hid her giggles behind her own fabric, and even Wen Qing’s lips curled up a little.

“Moreover, knowledge of embroidery is important in its own right,” Madame Yu added. “Especially for us – between the dyers, the weavers, and the seamstresses, the Jiang sect supervises the making of clothing for three quarters of the cultivation world.”

“And we sell it to them,” Madame Jin reminded her.

Madame Yu made a face back at her.

“Personally, I just wish there were more women from the Lan sect available to participate,” Jiang Yanli murmured. “It doesn’t seem fair, really…”

“That we all get dragged around to every Discussion Conference and then shut out of participating in the politics?,” Madame Yu said. “Entirely unfair. Especially since it means that your father has to make decisions, which isn’t exactly what I would call his strong point.”

“Ah, ah, no politics in here,” Madame Jin said. “No politics, and no men, absent special exceptions. Remember the rules. Why don’t we go back to discussing Young Mistress Wen’s grievances?”

“No, there’s no point,” Wen Qing said, a little begrudgingly. “Sect Leader Wen respects my medical skills, but he worries, I think, that I’d – I don’t know, give away secrets or something. I don’t know why. Anyway, at least this way I avoid young masters Greed and Malevolence. Thanks for letting me get it out…how have you all been? Anything new?”

Madame Jin, the immaculate hostess, immediately launched into a rendition of a story out of Lanling, involving theft, vandalism, attempted murder, and a great deal of salacious gossip before concluding with the exile of the relevant party.

“I’m fairly sure that’s not a medically advised use of goose feathers,” Wen Qing said, biting her lips to keep from laughing. “Or – any of that, really. Is that really an appropriate punishment?”

“Well, it’s better than the Lan sect’s view of punishment,” Madame Yu said. “Can you imagine writing all those endless rules?”

“I wouldn’t mind writing rules,” Jiang Yanli said thoughtfully. “I would mind triple training, which I understand is the Nie sect’s preferred approach.”

“Well, you can’t make trouble if none of your muscles work,” Madame Yu pointed out. “It has some merit.”

“What would be the Jiang sect’s preferred punishment in this case?” Madame Jin asked. “Something more corporeal?”

“Kneeling, usually,” Madame Yu said. “All night, if necessary. The purpose is to teach humility.”

“Does it?”

“Not that I’ve noticed.”

“A pity…”

“What are your thoughts on medicinal cuisine?” Jiang Yanli asked Wen Qing in an undertone. “I don’t have any medical expertise, but I’m a fairly good cook, so I was thinking…”

“There are plenty of guides out there,” Wen Qing said, brightening. “I can get some for you. What sort of things were you planning on focusing on?”

“Oh, no plans, just thinking –”

There was a knock at the door.

Madame Jin went to answer it, blinking up at Nie Mingjue.

“You’re not allowed,” she said.

“I know, I know, the rules are that these things are women only,” he said. He looked like he had a headache. “Any chance I can pretend long enough to escape having to talk to any of your spouses?”

“I thought saying you were a woman caused people like you pain,” Madame Jin said.

“Not as much pain as politics.”

“Well, they won’t look for you here,” Madame Yu said with a smirk. “Come on, let him in already.”

“There are rules for a reason, A-Yuan. I don’t care if he’s misaligned; he’s still a man.”

“We do allow some special exceptions,” Madame Yu said briskly. “Anyway, even if he’s not a woman, he’s still not one of the ones we complain about, is he? Same rules as cutsleeves.”

“Can misaligned people be cutsleeves?” Madame Jin asked, reluctantly stepping aside. “I don’t know much about it.”

“It works the same way as it does anywhere else,” Nie Mingjue said, doing his best to look especially pathetic. “I’m a man; if I like men, I’m a cutsleeve.”

“Do you?”

“I like everything. Can I come in?”

“Yes,” Madame Yu said. “Come in, take some clothing, and come tell me what terrible decisions has my husband made now and if it’s too late to go behind his back to overturn them?”

“I came here to avoid talking politics. Isn’t that one of the rules as well?” Nie Mingjue grumbled, but he came in and picked up some cloth and a needle, sitting down next to them to avoid towering.

“You came here to avoid talking politics with idiots,” Madame Jin said tartly. “We don’t qualify.”

“Did you know that Sect Leader Nie…?” Wen Qing asked Jiang Yanli in a whisper, eyes wide. Jiang Yanli shook her head mutely. “But if he was born misaligned, how in the world did he get to be so tall…?”

“If you mean the mustache, you can just say so,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “It’s a stupid use of cultivation, I know.”

Jiang Yanli hid a smile in her sleeve. “It’s very handsome.”

“Actually, I did mean your height,” Wen Qing said. “Using cultivation to grow hair is one thing, but if people could use it to get taller, we’d be surrounded by giants, rather than just you.”

“You ought to have seen my mother,” Nie Mingjue said. He’d started embroidering a small flower onto the sleeve – blue and pretty. “Now she was tall. Possibly a goddess, if you listen to the gossip.”

“The gossip was pretty sure she was a goddess,” Madame Jin said. “No possibly about it. You embroider better than she ever did, though.”

“Wild animals embroidered better than Madame Nie did,” Madame Yu said, sounding vaguely nostalgic. “I only met her a few times, but I was very impressed each time by exactly how little she cared about anyone’s anything. Do you remember the time she walked around Qishan holding a full grown pig above her head?”

“I wish she’d dropped it on Sect Leader Wen.”

“You’re not the only one,” Nie Mingjue said, then frowned. “Young Mistress Wen, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be over with the rest of the doctors comparing notes?”

“Oh, no, you just had to get her started again –”

#mdzs #wen qing #jiang yanli #madame yu #madame jin #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #I feel like this doesn't really answer the prompt #because they don't have that much to talk about in the Untamed that ISN'T guys #and then I had the idea of a Untamed stitch-n-bitch #and then NMJ illegally showed up #I tried to write him out #it did not work #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #violetablood