#made me sick with anxiety | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aussie-roadkill · 2 months

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I once said I was the worst nightmare to anyone with bpd due to my ability to just not want or need to be around other people,being emotionally disconnected enough that I think I wouldn't care if my friends left me, and assumption that everyone else in the world is as fine with being alone as me, and I guess I was right because I do in fact think I am my worst enemy

#anyway totally wasn't looking at an old friends social media #but like what was I meant to do when I realised #that everything they did pissed me off #was I meant to keep pretending to care about their interests #keep saying I love you too when the thought of them #made me sick with anxiety #or was I meant to just tell them #like hey buddy I know you consider me your most trusted friend #and you feel like everyone in your life betrays you #and you have severe rsd #and have always been told you're annoying and unbearable #but I actually think I don't like you anymore #like #that suicide attempt would be my fault #at that rate them hating me was the best outcome #anyway shoutout #genuinely hope you are well #glad you have a partner hope they make you feel special #take a step back from social media and fandom spaces #just find a happy little bubble and sit there #everything is much more enjoyable at surface level

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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

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jasonisaacs · 3 months

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Jason Isaacs as Dr Heinreich Volmer A CURE FOR WELLNESS (2016)

#jason isaacs #a cure for wellness #jasonisaacsedit #dr volmer #cureforwellnessedit #cure for wellness #volmer #dr heinreich volmer #mygifs #okay listen........ he did look absolutely scrumptious in this film #even tho this movie gave me terrible anxiety and that tooth scene almost made me sick akhsfkjhd

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stuckinapril · 2 months

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#Bisan’s voice memo made me go insane I haven’t been able to sleep all night and now I’m just up w crushing anxiety about it #I need to go on a run or something but I have to study #I just feel physically sick and idk what to do with myself #I just wish people didn’t have to die #Please don’t be worried about me btw I’m fine I just feel wired. Idk #I usually don’t share stuff like this bc I don’t want people to get worried or for it to distract from my posts but I just wanted #to say something so I can feel less alone about it #Bc I know a lot of people on here really care #I need to get up and get my day started eventually but im like . Peaking #And I haven’t eaten anything in like 19 hours i feel empty in every sense of the word #p

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avianssphere · 4 months

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getting used to procreate with the classics - some sabaody archipelago luffy in crisis

#top ten one piece moments that made me physically sick with anxiety to watch #one piece #op #monkey d luffy #sabaody archipelago #sabaody #nico robin #straw hat luffy #straw hat pirates #straw hat crew #one piece fanart #1pc

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy ��#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

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the-musical-cc · 1 year

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Not gonna watch the Mario Movie until at least next week (It's Semana Santa over here, kids are outta school, people don't give a damn about still respecting COVID restrictions and people are incredibly annoying about being the first to watch something as if it's not worth a damn otherwise.) so here's papá luchón Toadsworth with his fruit spawn from my Momotaro!Peach AU in the meantime.

#Princess Peach #Super Mario Bross #Toadsworth #Momotaro!Peach AU #headcanoning #cc draws #i have one or two chapters already written on this topic but keep postponing actually posting aoijsoaisjaios #maybe today's the day #I pretty much have made a promise with myself to make and post stuff that's not Frankelda-related at least once a week #because I feel like everyone's sick of me by now #isn't anxiety a barrel of monkey's worth of fun

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ponytailzuko · 7 months

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my professor putting an announcement saying the exams have been graded only in the announcement to be like "some of you failed btw you should drop the class. also i havent graded some of you guys exams yet so if you dont see your grade then wait 1-2 days <3" and my grade isnt there. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME.

#cal.ibrations #professors play vicious mind games #this has made me so sick like my anxiety is thru the roof im not going to lie!

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i-am-a-fan · 2 months

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MY CAT IS EATING!!!!!

#i thought i should share this wonderful moment #she’s still super new to the house and i’m assuming the anxiety and her cold made her lose her appetite #she’s been worrying me sick over it #but at least she’s eaten two meals today!!#plus!#i’m seeing more of her curious nature #it’s super nice!!!#anyways #she purrs like a motor boat and i love her (i’ve had her for 5 days)

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bitchapalooza · 4 months

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Researching ocd for yourself is hard to do when you’re barely sure of who yourself even is 🥴

#some more outwardly stuff really do coincide with ocd that it’s made me wonder on and off #about it for the past 6ish years #but I’m mostly concerned with my intrusive thoughts #they make me sick to my stomach sometimes and I really wanna find out the source of em #I know intrusive thoughts are normal but at what point #is it considered ocd related? is there treatment to help to ease the anxiety they often give?#idk I’m just trying to help myself feel more at ease…#talkies

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haleyincarnate · 10 months

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I feel like such a captive to my mental health.

#went to the science museum with some friends for one of their birthdays and we wanted to see the space film in the dome #which the dome is a massive theater where the screen wraps around the ceiling and such #and we took some edibles beforehand to have fun and I didn’t even take like half #and it wasn’t even that but my motion sickness made the first ten minutes so unbearable that I had to leave #and I had an anxiety attack on the way home like the first real one in like months #it’s a great reassuring thing to have happen when I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety with actually doing shit and interacting w people #I feel like I failed but like the first part was good at least???#my mom gave me money to get lunch on the way back and I couldn’t even stop I was shaking and felt like passing out #godDAMMIT dude I was doing so good #anyway I’m gonna relax because I’m exhausted now and I ordered jimmy john’s so I didn’t have to go out #fucking anxiety #hmh

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helltrskelter · 2 years

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Do not fuck with VTSOM fans. There’s like 2 of us

#VTSOM #vincent the secret of myers #victor blake #I need to get over my posting anxiety so uhhhhh what ever ! I'll just post the stuff I made bc my autism is wild #Hello to the 2 singular vtsom fans btw. if you guys still exist idk #Using this art as my pfp I think I never finish stuff and I'm sick of not using my own art as an icon </3 #Either way this game ruined me and I need to ruin everyone I know with it #(AUTISM BEAM)#I have caught 1 person thus far and I will catch more .immediately

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piastriblogging · 2 years

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Charlos hehe

i feel like. so not normal about charlos. i desire being a leading charlos scholar but also I've been staring at this ask for HOURS just like. idk what to say they make me want to scream and throw things and become the woman in the yellow wallpaper and walk into the sea. obviously none of that is something that i can make sense of.

TO ME charlos are the ULTIMATE teammate duo. they are obsessed with each other. they are self described FRIENDS. they care about each other in a real personal way. they like. genuinely have a lot in common. BUT ALSO they are driving for FERRARI and that means TEAM DYNAMICS and. GOD i don't have TIME to unpack this can of worms. like.... they get along but also charles will give an interview implying that the team screwed him trying to give carlos a better car and carlos will say he is WDC material and his team will talk about how the team is screwing carlos because they don't want him to win.

and nikki u know im a carlos fucker so i have to talk about how depressed he is like he drives for ferrari and thinks he's the greatest ever but also he dissociates at work and has to convince himself its a good thing he's on this team and -- HOW does Charles play into THAT...

THEY PLAY ONLINE CHESS TOGETHER. FOR FUN. THEY COMPETE 24/7.

basically what im saying is that there is something wrong in my brain where they are basically the only thing i can think about and NONE of it makes SENSE and RED IS THE STRANGEST PAIN TO BEAR and LECLERC IS BOYISH, ENTHUSIASTIC. SAINZ IS MORE MODEST AND SLIGHTLY BRUSHED WITH MELANCHOLY. and TO LOVE SOMEONE IS TO FIRST CONFESS I AM PREPARED TO BE DEVASTATED BY YOU and NOW FINALLY MAYBE IM WINNING EVEN IF IT JUST LOOKS LIKE MY FINGERS ARE SHAKING and SOMEBODY TO LIE IN THE DARK WITH. SOMEBODY'S HANDS TO TOUCH and ITS ALL LANGUAGE OF POSSESSION THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELFISHNESS AND LOVE IS WHO GETS TO WALK AWAY FROM WHAT and