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typologyastro · 1 year

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MBTI & Astrology Observations

🥀 1. Moon/Pluto aspects give off Ni, introverted intuition vibe. Dominant/auxiliary/tertiary Ni users may have Moon/Pluto aspects. They may indicate problems or a strong bond with their mother. Their emotions are intense. I've seen easy Moon/Pluto aspects (Trine, Sextile, Conjunction) are often INFJ, INTJ, ENFJ and ISFP.

Hard Moon/Pluto aspects have to learn to make peace with their intense feelings. One ENTJ I know personally has Moon Opposition Pluto. She has a complicated relationship with her mother and jealous tendency. ENTJs have inferior Fi so it's likely difficult for them to manage their intense feelings. They likely ignore their feelings or explode.

Another INFJ I know in real life has Moon Trine Pluto. His mother is feisty and strong. He loves and admires his mother. Women have big influence on him. He has a healing gift he may not realize in himself.

For example: Fujii Kaze (INFJ, Moon Sextile Pluto), Twice's Mina (INFJ, Moon Sextile Pluto), Madison Beer (ENFJ, Moon Sextile Pluto), Jodie Foster (INTJ, Moon Conjunction Pluto), BTS's Yoongi (INTJ, Moon Sextile Pluto), Avril Lavigne (ISFP, Moon Conjunction Pluto) The Weeknd (ISFP, Moon Conjunction Pluto), Blackpink's Jennie (ISFP, Moon Conjunction Pluto), Billie Eilish (ISFP, Moon Sextile Pluto) , Brad Pitt (ISFP, Moon Trine Pluto), Leonardo DiCaprio (ESFP, Moon Conjunction Pluto), Vanessa Hudgens (ESFP, Moon Trine Pluto)

🥀 2. The next similar indicator is Scorpio Moon for Ni/Se users. I've often seen Ni + Te/Fi users (INTJ, ENTJ, ISFP and ESFP) have this placement. Another ENTJ I know personally has Scorpio Moon. He gives off a dangerous, mysterious and suspicious aura.

My explanation for Moon/Pluto aspects and Scorpio Moon give off strong Ni - introverted intuition is because I associate Ni with Pluto, Fe & Fi with Moon & Neptune.

For example: Epik High's Tablo (INTJ, Scorpio Moon), Lady Gaga (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Hayden Christensen (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Avril Lavigne (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Taylor Monsen (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Dove Cameron (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), The Weeknd (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Katy Perry (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Blackpink's Jennie (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Blackpink's Lisa (ESFP, Scorpio Moon), Lily-Rose Depp (ISFP, Scorpio Moon), Miley Cyrus (ESFP, Scorpio Moon), Kylie Jenner (ESFP, Scorpio Moon)

🥀 3. Blackpink's Lisa has Venus Trine Pluto. Kendall Jenner has Venus Conjunction Pluto. Blackpink's Jennie has Venus Square Pluto. They are known for their captivating and sexy beauty caused by Venus/Pluto aspects but how the audience feels about each of them can be totally different.

Lisa's passionate dance performances and doll-like appearance stand out in the crowd.

Kendal is the eptimote of how I envision a Venus/Pluto beauty looks like: sharp, tall, dark and mysterious.

Jennie has the most RBF, intimidating and edgy look out of the three. Her reputation is also the most polarizing.

Jennie seems to get hated the most. People mesmerize by Lisa and Kendal's beauty more while Jennie's face both attracts admirers and invokes hatred and jealousy the most. Venus/Pluto beauty generally creates strong impact on people. It's hard to forget their beauty.

It's fascinating to observe how easy and difficult aspects play out in real life. Easy Venus/Pluto aspects are more Venusian and hard Venus/Pluto aspects are more Plutonian.

Kendal is an ISTJ, Jennie is an ISFP and Lisa is an ESFP. They all have a Te/Fi axis.

🥀 4. Dove Cameron was born one day before Blackpink's Jennie and they are both ISFPs and Scorpio Moon. Their chart are almost identical (without knowing their birth time).

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lowkeyrobin · 3 months

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EVIL DEAD RISE ; what kind of music you listen to with them

includes ; danny, bridget, kassie (platonic), ellie & beth

warnings ; language, my kinda bad music taste tbh

masterlist

DANNY

either stuff like sneaker pimps, gorillaz, and lil peep or quannnic, the cure, nirvana, paramore

he plays whatever makes you happy, especially if it's something he also likes

probably listens to music to sleep as well

like, hozier, phoebe bridgers, probably movie scores that are calm and kinda relaxing as well

sometimes you guys sit in silence with the music and relish each others company or you're having a dance party in front of hundreds cheering his dj skills on

religiously wears headphones, doesn't matter if they're wireless or not

he's very anti-earbuds bc they don't fit his ears properly LMAOOO

honestly same....

but he's scared it'll make him get hearing loss sooner bc they don't let the sound out a bit so he sticks w his muffs

keeps him warm in the winter 🤷‍♂️/🤷‍♀️

BRIDGET

mazzy star, florence + the machine, hozier, blue foundation, seal, james marriott

I feel like she's into calmer kinda music, but not like basic calm music if that makes sense??

I don't think she's an arctic monkeys/tv girl indie/pop/idk fan iykwim

she likes just being in your presence when she listens to music cause she wants to have those songs remind her of you somehow

like if you're on the bus, in the car, she's the type to usually have her earbuds in, probably does the spotify party thing with you LMAO

that way you don't have to share earbuds or anything

danny constantly teases you guys bc your music taste differs but you're totally swooning for her so you always listen to her music lol

KASSIE

taylor swift idk

what do little kids listen to these days??? 💀💀💀

cmon she's like 10 at max gimme a break

she honestly just picks whatever she likes on your playlists if she needs something to entertain her in the car and whatnot

I mean I'm like that too sometimes I just can't stare out the window in silence I need my music lmao

she probably just has default pop radio music taste, she's too young for a phone anyways lmao

gets any actual music taste from her siblings and you though

ELLIE

probably listens to the pretty reckless and halestorm here and there, prefers more pop music though

probably like muni long, normani, hozier, taylor swift, only the plastic hearts album by miley cyrus, etc

mostly a female artist listener

I just get that vibe from her

her and Beth for sure went to a lot of female lead rock bands before her kids + Jay in general

like evanescence, halestorm, pretty reckless, in this moment, flyleaf

she'd still enjoy listening to rock though, just gotta be in a pumped up mood, like doing chores or working out yk

would enjoy dorothy, lacuna coil, etc

she strikes me as a person who plays music in the house/car but never wirh headphones or anything bc she likes to get shit done and when she's sitting down, she's just trying to relax and music gets her kinda pumped up lmao

loves when u show her new songs tho, she loves adding them to her mixes or whatever

she strikes me as a pandora mom

BETH

she for sure listens to spiritbox, megan thee stallion (she's a nicki anti I know it, me too), halestorm, pretty reckless, new years day, in this moment, september mourning, eminem, rihanna

a lot of like 2000s-2010s legends lol

I feel like she listens to Megan a lot to pump herself up bc real tbh

cobra ft spiritbox is her all time fav song

holy shit she rants about this song to members of her team for a week straight

gets like 300 plays on it by the time spotify wrapped comes out

she strikes me as a yt music user HELP

she loves introducing you to new rock bands, especially ones w female leads

#evil dead rise #danny bixler #danny bixler x reader #morgan davies #bridget bixler #bridget bixler x reader #beth bixler #beth bixler x reader #ellie bixler #ellie bixler x reader #lilly sullivan #gabrielle echols #kassie bixler #evil dead rise x reader #lowkeyrobin

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jeanharlowseyebrows · 21 hours

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i was tagged by @maudeboggins to list 5 topics i could talk about for an hour without preparing any material. off the dome:

miley cyrus and nick jonas circa 2007-2010 (with additional asides covering years hence). content to include anythingdisney at livejournal dot com talking points

ao3 user mcguffan's seeming trilogy-without-the-third-part "where there was no path" -- a merlin bbc epic saga -- and my thoughts and feelings re: what the third part might have entailed were the world kinder. also i am certain merlin and arthur would've finally at LEAST kissed on the mouth. certain!

my delusions and theories re: jonathan groff and lea michele

general yellowjackets fall off and what i feel would've Been Better

my former coworker [redacted] whomst i despised and detested to a degree that almost surprised me and has not yet faded even 4 years later

#a lot of this is recency bias but also i am only ever able to remember things that have happened recently #my brain rewrites itself entirely every time i become interested or re-interested in a thing #thank you for the tag! i do love to run my mouth

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psidn · 1 year

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music meme

rules: when you get this, you have to put in 5 songs you actually listen to at the moment. Then tag 5-10 followers to do the same.

Tagged by @stoppit-keepout and i'm several weeks late but you know what? now you get 5 out of 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields. it's the only thing i've been listening to for a week and a half. had trouble picking, order they appear on the album:

Reno Dakota RENO DAKOTA THERE'S NOT AN IOTA OF KINDNESS IN YOU......YOU KNOW YOU ENTHRALL ME AND YET YOU DON'T CALL ME IT'S MAKING ME BLUE......PANTONE TWO NINETY TWOOOOOO

The One You Really Love i just think it's neat

When My Boy Walks Down the Street grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street! there are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat!

I Can't Touch You Anymore so in the previously mentioned youtube recommendations i'd had in a chokehold prior to this album, i was listening to miley cyrus' cover of fifty ways to leave your lover a lot, so i like the bit in here that references the song :)

Strange Eyes i put this on my wip dune playlist. blue clocks without hands

sadly we have missed out on some of my favourite lyrics:

"Caution, caution, caution, to prevent electric shock Do not, do not, do not remove cover No user-serviceable parts inside Refer servicing to qualified Service personnel"

but i don't care as much for the rest of that song

if you see this on your dash and enjoy/enjoyed any of the songs above, consider yourself tagged. i'm going back to listening to this 3 hour long album on repeat

#meme fill

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brookswackermanfeetcam · 4 months

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My uncle shared this post on facebook that was like “these are the names that were on the Epstein list that were removed these are the users of Epstein’s services” or whatever and Miley Cyrus was on there like are you fucking stupid? she was 10 years old are you stupid

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hergan416 · 4 months

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#28 and #30 for the AO3 Wrapped, Reader Edition, please

28. Did any line/passage stick with you after you read it?

Yes, many. I'm sort of going with "passage" loosely because it's really the imagery and ideas in many cases, although sometimes it's just a line.

I'm most explicit about it because of how much it also influenced my writing in this comment thread from Malafide, but hyper's (@user-needs-new-hyperfixation) works in general were so so important for me as I first got into the fandom. Books & Blessings also is like the platonic WL character study to me. The image of Louis just sitting on the steps waiting for Will to come back from sneaking out of the house is just golden. [Also just the imagery of the mezzanine in Love, In All Its Disrepute... "and yet... "Safe," Albert answered" or something like that. -shivers-]

The mycal dancing scene from Dying Wish (SlvrSoleAlchemist1 and Dear_Partner) is also so strong that I literally have assigned Miley Cyrus' Flowers as a mycal breakup song from Albert's perspective because this is just their dynamic to me now, forever. Also the moment when they come back to the apartment and it's filled with TOO MANY FLOWERS and fuck anyway. Very good times, I think my brain will return to thinking about both those scenes forever.

Honestly, many of my mycal thoughts in general are probably more the words written by others.

Also oshiholic writes super vivid stories and I carry all of them with me. fragments (or, how not to pick up the pieces) is especially vivid because OUCH but like, honestly all of it. Yeah. All of it. [most ships involve an AW or WL element]

I already answered 30 (surprises for the year) here. But I did miss one thing:

That I stopped reading so many things because my hyperfixation changed. If I have a reading goal in 2024 its to catch back up with the ongoing fics that I had been gleefully enjoying for years and just.. stopped reading in order to make more time for writing and reading a different fandom. As this ask very much demonstrates... I did a terrible job of keeping up with my other fandoms this year. In all the ways.

They absolutely deserve better from me.

#ask answered #reader wrapped #nenya85 #thank you!#moriarty the patriot #writing recs

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usersmaker · 1 year

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zayn malik + endless summer vacation users:

zaynjaded

endlessumerzayn

riverainberry

zaynchemistry

vibezflowers

betteroselenses

zaynmuddy

islandiesel (island + sour diesel)

cyrusicarus

♡ LIKE or REBLOG if you save any user. 🇧🇷: ♡ CURTA ou REBLOGUE se salvar algum user.

[ don't repost ]

#zayn #zayn malik #miley cyrus #endless summer vacation #zayn malik users #zayn malik icons #zayn malik headers #miley cyrus users #miley cyrus icons #miley cyrus headers #miley cyrus packs #twitter users #twitter stuff #twitter layouts

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gurizpacks · 1 year

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like ou (c) jogodoamor

#headers miley cyrus #users miley cyrus #miley curys

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angelmotifs · 10 months

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i got a 4 on the ap lang exam i’m basically a modern literary genius

WAITTT I ALSO GOT A 4 we're the worlds smartest tumblr users and the world's dumbest cattitude (miley cyrus ft. rupaul) fans

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imafabolousgirl · 8 months

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୨⎯ a little bit about me ⎯୧

my name is catalina but can u can call me cata <3

im gemini .𖥔 ݁ ˖

my birthday is 19 of june

she/her ୨୧

music taste; lana del rey,taylor swift,1985,harry styles,artic monkey, britney spears,beyonce,zayn malik,rihanna,frank ocean, cigarettes after sex,fleetwood mac.

role models; alexa chung,olsen's sisters,kate moss,bella hadid,angelina jolie,christina aguilera,megan fox,miley cyrus,gabbriette,pamela anderson,marilyn monroe,lindsay lohan,cara delevingne.

⌗bringback2014

⤷ this is my pinterest

⤷ this is my spotify

⤷ this is my twitter

https://x.com/imafabolousgirl?s=09

thanks for reading 💋

#rockstar girlfriend #messy girl #2014 grunge #it girl #nyc

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strangersatellites · 9 months

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tagged by @matchingbatbites and holy lord i have so many letter but let’s do it

Satellite - Harry Styles

This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads

Roddy - Djo

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

Novocaine - The Band CAMINO

Granite - Sleep Token

EVERYBODYDIES -The Band CAMINO

River - Miley Cyrus

Stayaway - MUNA

A House In Nebraska - Ethel Cain

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Electric Funeral - Black Sabbath

Lights Up - Harry Styles

Last Time - Beauty School Dropout

I Love Rock 'N Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

To Be So Lonely - Harry Styles

Eat Your Heart Out - Dio

See Through - The Band CAMINO

no playlist as i am but a lowly user of apple music </3

#tag game #gin recs music

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deadcactuswalking · 1 year

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 25/03/2023 (Taylor Swift, Hozier, Lewis Capaldi)

For the 10th week in a row, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus tops the UK Singles Chart. It may be its last considering Ed’s on the way, but for now, welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts – songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 – and we have a pretty varied list this time, as we say farewell to “Snowfall” by Oneheart and reidenshi, “SPIT IN MY FACE!” by ThxSoMch, “Never Gonna Not Dance Again” by P!nk, “Afraid to Feel” by LF SYSTEM and finally, once again, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis bloody Capaldi.

What’s filling the gaps? Well, our list of new arrivals does not seem built to last and “Pointless” by Lewis Capaldi only returns presumably due to the three-song rule at #68, so we may have to look at our notable gains, and for this week we don’t have many, in fact we seem to end up with a lot more losses, which I don’t really cover. Regardless, we do see boosts for “Here” by Tom Grennan at #39, “Can’t Tame Her” by Zara Larsson at #38, “REACT” by Switch Disco featuring Ella Henderson and the late Robert Miles at #32, “Mother” by Meghan Trainor at #27 (kill me), “Whistle” by Jax Jones featuring Calum Scott at #25, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #18 thanks to residual Eras Tour hype (more on that later), and finally, “Creepin’” by Metro Boomin and The Weeknd featuring 21 Savage back to #10 thanks to a Diddy remix that prompted an ACR reset; its time back up here is very limited.

This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart should all be familiar now, but with some notable movement: “People” by Libianca is at #5 alongside its fellow Afrobeats track “Calm Down” by Rema at #4, “Die for You” by The Weeknd is at #3, “Miracle” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding is up to #2 off of the debut, and of course, “Flowers” reigns at the top. And now, without further ado, let’s look through our... interesting batch of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#67 – “DEATH” – Melanie Martinez

Produced by CJ Baran and Melanie Martinez

We’re starting with Melanie Martinez, huh? God help us. So this is a somewhat exhausting week overall when it comes to covering the stories behind these songs, and we’ll get more into that as we go on, but there’s no easy D-Block Europe jester here: they’re all out-of-the-ordinary songs and it’s honestly difficult to explain why any of them are charting. This one... well, I guess it’s easy enough. Whilst Martinez has never been much of a chart presence, she’s a big deal amongst a certain brand of Tumblr user that has naturally spread over into TikTok (a demographic that kind of fits a lot of this week’s new entries), so her newest single was probably going to chart in the bottom 50. Thanks to a weak chart, it got into my territory of the top 75 and I’d feel silly asking the rhetorical question of if it’s any good. I’m about as far as you could get from a Melanie Martinez fan, and this song seemingly about the cyclical nature of life and death is ridden with so much Melanie Martinez lore that I, as a non-Melanie Martinez fan, can completely Melanie Martinez ignore. Therefore, what do we have without it? Non-descript vocals coated in Auto-Tune that make the more nasal, childlike inflections even more annoying? A musical theatre set of strings and pianos that takes the most immature and memetic response to grief possible... that is then completely ignored for a set of gross, buzzy synths over complete ass drums that are mixed like a complete mess alongside some disgusting vocal mixing? Great, thanks, I hate it. When 100 gecs released a rock album just last week, what purpose does this serve? I didn’t even like that album, but a half-serious gecs record is much more rewarding of a listen than something as self-serious for no real reason. It’s abrasive, eclectic, sure, but it makes you wait and wait for a chorus that hits at a completely wrong note but it scuffs any remnants of emotional resonance by way of childlike mockery. I don’t care about the lore, or the character, this is awful.

#58 – “Christmas Kids” – Roar

Produced by Owen Evans

So this may need some explanation, or at least as much as I can grant it. Roar is the moniker of Owen Evans, who you may know as having drummed for AJJ (no relation to AJR). This song is from his debut solo effort, I Can’t Handle Change, from all the way back in 2010 and it actually touches upon a subject from even earlier, that being the relationship between Ronnie of the Ronettes, who has sadly died since this song released, and Phil Spector, who has fortunately died since this song release. Spector was a nutjob who tormented Ronnie psychologically, rarely letting her leave the house, and often threatened to kill her. In 1971, as an attempt to save their marriage, Spector brought her two adopted children out of nowhere on Christmas Day, hence the title. Naturally, Owen Evans wrote a song about it, and a bit less naturally, he decided to do it from Phil’s perspective, in the style of a Spector-produced Brill Building track. Oh. Oh, dear. Uh, well, the production is decidedly cheaper than Spector would have had it, and the claps in the chorus just feel like random clips rather than whole-hearted claps, it really hurts the momentum, as does the slogging bridge which I understand is supposed to be creepy but it makes the whole thing seem comical... especially when Evans changes perspective to Ronnie and slows the tempo down. For a song about such a horrible, horrible abusive relationship, it all seems rather gimmicky, and I’m not entirely sure why we’re okay with this.

#52 – “Baby again..” – Fred again.., Skrillex and Four Tet

Produced by Fred again.., Skrillex and Four Tet

It’s a shame that Four Tet finally has a lead credit on a UK charting hit and it’s this glorified remix. “Baby” by Quality Control featuring Lil Baby and DaBaby is a famously repetitive song, mostly just because Lil Baby says “baby” a lot, and it didn’t actually chart in the UK – for which I thank God, since it’s pretty bad. This remix is kind of a cool idea, as Baby definitely fits into the pockets of this house groove but... well, it’s boring as sin, guys. I like all three of these guys as producers, particularly Skrillex, but sometimes too many cooks creates a product way less unique than the sum of its parts, which was true for most of the cuts from those two Skrillex albums earlier this year to be honest. The wonky synths over a bubbly bass function perfectly fine, but it’s not like it’s interesting or really that driving, and there are absolutely no stakes here given that the sample never changes flow or says anything particularly catchy. They just took the “Baby” song where Baby says “baby” a lot, and transposed it onto a bassy house beat – I wouldn’t say it’s unfinished at all, since the minimalism absolutely is the point, yet none of the tricks they pull out feel all that interesting, mostly because having all three producers kind of silences out the unique properties of each DJ. This sounds like something that was improvised at a DJ mix, and with how long its build-up is, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it were. That doesn’t make it bad, but it sure doesn’t interest me, especially if by the time we get a climax, the sample is an annoying, badly-mastered vocal clip rather than, you know, the actual hook that has been there for the rest of the track. It just seems like a wasted opportunity.

#41 – “Hell N Back” – Bakar

Produced by Jake the Snake and Beach Noise

Jake the Snake is an awesome producer name. This is a 2019 single from London singer Bakar that got viral on TikTok, and it sounds even older with its vintage guitars and slick whistle over the mellow drums. This particular brand of UK neo-soul was something I at some point was more into years earlier when I was listening to like Tom Misch and Sampha, but I still like this quite a lot. It’s a chill track and Bakar has some delightful charisma, and the references to drugs kind of explain the charming sloppiness in his delivery, and why those horns are so watered-down. Maybe the lyrics need some work – “she had green eyes like Mountain Dew”, really? – but I like the sentiment about capturing the feeling where you’ve been in a bad place, and your partner really caring for you is what makes you get out of that rut, even if that leads to some worrying dependency. It’s not a song I have much to say about, almost by design, but Hell, it’s heads and shoulders above everything else so far, so I’ll endorse this.

#30 – “Set Me Free Pt.2” – Jimin

Produced by GHSTLOOP and Pdogg

BTS member Jimin released his debut solo album – if you can really call it that, it’s 19 minutes – and this was the lead single, serving as a bit of an accidental sequel to bandmate SUGA’s song of the same name, hence the “pt.2”, and, man, I have yet to really be impressed with BTS members’ solo output, bar that one j-hope song with J. Cole a couple weeks back. This single goes for some real intensity with the compressed orchestra and choir vocals alongside alarm synths before exploding into drums that hit hard, sure, but not as well as they could have because of all the fuzz that surround them. Jimin himself is just horrible on this, I’m sorry – he is way too nasal and floaty for this beat, and I don’t believe him for a second when he talks about my “opps”, or reaches into his Adam Levine falsetto on the mind-numbingly repetitive chorus over those plastic horns. The second verse just sounds like a joke, with the comical cartoon inflections and Auto-Tune, but I don’t have a reason not to take this seriously. As a comedy song, it’d be pretty funny if that chorus wasn’t as long, but as a lead solo debut... Jesus Christ, man. Hopefully some of that album is better – it did come out today as of when I’m writing this – but God, this is honestly embarrassing, probably because it’s a lane Jimin shouldn’t be near in the first place.

#24 – “How I’m Feeling Now” – Lewis Capaldi

Produced by Lewis Capaldi and TMS

No, sadly, there’s no relation to the Charli XCX album. This is Capaldi’s third single from that upcoming sophomore effort, and well, damn, he’s finally grown some teeth at least. The entire song is a self-critique about his own mental state, with a sarcastic chorus and biting verses about how unsatisfied he feels with his life despite the fact he has everything. It’s not really connected to a girlfriend either, only vaguely stringing it to a breakup to make it a bit more accessible, I suppose, because this is definitely a famous man blues ballad, and it’s pretty damn great honestly. Sure, it’s minimal and kind of just lets Capaldi sit there amongst the folk guitars, but he’s mostly downplaying the delivery here, even though out of all songs, this one probably deserves the melodrama. The swell in the chorus wherein Capaldi really does start going for it is actually much more bearable than his usual froggy belting. In fact, this is basically an emo-pop song disguising itself as an Ed Sheeran album cut, especially with Capaldi’s delivery, and if you know me well enough, you’d know that compared to Capaldi’s usual fare, that’s right up my alley. Once the strings come in during the bridge, which is seamlessly connected to the chorus through a monosyllabic belt, which is just a cool songwriting trick, it feels really earned and the only percussion at the end of the song sounds like a ticking clock, with the looming fear of his fame’s demise nearing closer and closer. It may be compressed to Hell like all of Capaldi’s stuff, and he doesn’t go into that much detail... but this just hits like a brick and I’m honestly not sure why. Maybe it’s the downplaying of his vocals in the verses, maybe it’s that he finally understand some sense of dynamics, but I’m really bloody impressed with this – it’s an excellent song, and if Capaldi would prefer to look further inward on some of this upcoming album, he may end up with an extra listener. Yeah, I didn’t think I’d even hint towards listening to a Lewis Capaldi album, but this is genuinely fantastic.

#22 – “Eat Your Young” – Hozier

Produced by Bekon, Hozier, Rappy, Pete G and Chakra

Hozier, huh? “Take Me to Church” Hozier? “I’ll worship like a dog”, “I’ll tell you my sins”, etc. Hozier? In the top 40? At this time of year? In this pop climate? Localised entirely within #22? I liked that sophomore album, but I didn’t think he’d chart ever again, especially since his last top 40 hit was “Someone New” in 2015. Well, it was initially promoted in a snippet in February, with lyrics that come off as kind of kinky out of context until the full song gets released and that viral TikTok snippet ends up being based on the third circle of hell – gluttony – from Dante’s Divine Comedy. Just, sure, okay, it’s 2023, there are no rules to getting on the chart. Just be Hozier and make a song based on an epic poem that takes its title from a satirical essay written by Jonathan Swift which sardonically claims that to solve poverty in Ireland, the rich should start eating poor children, sold to them by their parents. The whole song seems to focus on the chauvinism of the British Empire, using the imagery of making a feast, with a sensuality making the lyrics seem not too far from oral sex, in reference to how they treated their colonies which, I mean, Hozier is Irish, it wouldn’t be a surprise. The use of the word “carving”, the entire second half of the chorus referring to war, the way it’s addressed to a woman – the motherland, Britannia if you wish – it’s a reasonable interpretation. On a grander scale, it’s about gluttony, and it sounds fittingly evil. Over perilous strings and soulful drums, Hozier trades his voice between a dusty smoulder and a dusty falsetto that sounds like the high horse this Empire was on. With that said, it does stay somewhat samey outside of the gorgeous piano-led outro, and that sensual villainy may lose its lustre overtime, but that’s implying that this will last on the charts and I have no idea where this is going past its first week. It’s a damn catchy tune, a wonderfully-composed track and a unique historical message for a charting hit, so I wouldn’t mind seeing it last longer and reach further heights, but I also won’t put my trust in it.

#11 – “All of the Girls You Loved Before” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Louis Bell, Ging and Taylor Swift

To celebrate the start of her massive Eras Tour, Taylor released re-recorded versions of three songs – none of which charted – as well as this scrapped track from the Lover era, which had some residual hype after a demo leaked, which she must have caught onto as she released it less than a month later. I have probably ranted on this series before that I don’t like Lover, and honestly this is nothing different for me, especially now that we have Midnights to compare it to: it’s like a more pastel version with way less interesting writing, meaning there’s basically no justification for the clunky inflections or straightforward melodies that just sound mindlessly slapped together on this pink cloud of mist that is an instrumental. The drums are stilted and anything melodic just gravitates into a must of nothingness, and apart from the chorus and bridge, Taylor doesn’t really write like herself either. It’s a worthless leftover love song, Taylor must have thought that initially anyway, and it probably should have remained as such until it found its way on “Taylor’s Version” or some B-side compilation, instead of being forced to single release by a leak. It’s honestly just kind of sad, if anything.

Conclusion

Huh, this was kind of a garbage week, wasn’t it? I mean, Best of the Week is nice and easy, with Lewis Capaldi taking it for “How I’m Feeling Now” and I was torn between the two options for Honourable Mention but I think I’ll actually give it to Bakar for “Hell N Back”. As for the worst... God, it’s like picking the worst out of a rotten bunch, but I honestly think that Roar gets it for “Christmas Kids” for just putting a disgusting taste in my mouth, and whilst I absolutely think a song from the perspective of the abuser is possible, it’s just an icky, misguided effort and honestly pretty terrible song even without the subject matter. Dishonourable Mention is a toss-up between Jimin for “Set Me Free Pt.2” for just being comical, “DEATH” by Melanie Martinez for being aggravating and honestly, “All of the Girls You’ve Loved Before” by Taylor Swift. I didn’t like the new Jimin or Taylor Swift or Melanie Martinez, and I’m posting this on Tumblr: it’s like I’m tempting fate. Regardless, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

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