#my favorite part is how the anon is trying so hard to sound pretentious but keeps fucking up vocab and grammar anyways

[junietuesday]

hello revalink nation 💖

#june speaks #revalink #loz #botw #i read that original post and IMMEDIATELY read it in revali’s voice #my favorite part is how the anon is trying so hard to sound pretentious but keeps fucking up vocab and grammar anyways #like ‘‘pick up some real literacy’’ you mean literature??? ‘‘i endear your low attention spans’’ THATS NOT HOW YOU USE THAT WORD LMAO

[rayslittlekitten]

You Got This - Part 2

I recommend reading Part 1 first if you haven't.

Plot: After having a heart to heart, you and Jax re-live your youth.

Pairing: Jax Teller x F! Reader

Contains: a lot of fluff and fluffy sex, also a shit ton of Jax smoking porn, and you see his butt 🙃

A/N:  Thank you Anon for this request.  I hope you and the other readers enjoy this (if not more) than the first part. This took me longer than I expected to write this, but it's finally done.  I kept going back and forth on trying to decide what to include and what not to.  Also, had I known I was going to be writing a part two for this, the beginning of this would have been at the end of part one, but hindsight is 20/20. I actually did already write out most of the beginning but decided to leave it out of part one because I thought where I left it was a good place to end it. I also thought about eliminating it completely but I really like the interaction that happens with Gemma.  To me it's like a beauty shot. Is it necessary and does it move the story along at all? Not quite, but it looks good so let's just leave it in there anyways. Also to squeeze a little bit more angst out of Jax.

Also, I had a bit of trouble writing this as well because as strange as this sounds, I couldn't find the perfect song to pair with this.  Sometimes I need music to help me get into the mindset and mood.  I was going for like a nostalgic summer love kinda thing. I had actually thought to use a song form the mid-90s because to really make it feel nostalgic and Shanice's "Saving Forever For You" was the winner for that but I decided it was not right for this. Maybe their actual first time, yes.  Then it was a toss up between "Honey Whiskey" by Satica and "Take Me Away" by Sinead Harnett/EARTHGANG and the latter won given the situation. I'd recommend giving it a listen below (or any of the songs listed) to get the mood I was going for while writing the sex scene. I really thank you for reading my ramblings if you've gotten this far. I just want to give the readers the best experience to my stories and how it was intended when I wrote it.

A loud commotion outside interrupts the moment and you both realize you need to get dressed before someone finds the both of you.  He pulls out of you and you both quickly get yourselves together. You hop into the bathroom inside the bedroom to clean yourself up. When you walk out, you see Jax sitting on the bed smoking a cigarette with all his clothes and hair in place, like he had been sitting there this whole time and didn't move from his spot when you first walked in.  He glances over to you and you're reminded of how his handsome charming face is something you miss so much.

"I should probably go before someone starts looking for either of us." You walk out of the bathroom and towards the front door.  Jax grabs your hand and pulls you back to him.

"Hey." He stands up, cups your face and looks at you. "It's really good to see you again."

Suddenly you both hear the door knob rattling and then a knock following it.

"Jax, are you in there, honey?" You both hear Gemma on the other side of the door. 

You both separate and smooth yourselves out and Jax walks over to open the door. 

"Honey, what are you doing in here? Tara--" Gemma's facial expression shifts when she spots you. She looks at the both of you suspiciously. You both thought you were so slick when you were younger but if there was anyone who knew what you both were up to, it would be Gemma. Nothing slips past her. In fact, she’s always secretly hoped you two would get together. You were born into SAMCRO, making you MC royalty. The Princess of Charming.

"Oh, I didn't know you were in here too. I'm very sorry about Opie, sweetheart." 

"Thank you, Gemma." You walk closer to the door and Gemma pulls you in for a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Where's your fiancé?" Gemma asks curiously.

"Fiancé?" Jax glances over at you.

"I came by myself this time," you answer. "We're kind of on a break." You wrinkle your nose.

"I'm sorry to hear that too. Must be one hell of a break." Gemma's knowing eyes are boring a hole into you. "Lyla tells me you're staying a while?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna help her out with the kids for a week or so until she can figure it out.  I know you and the club will be a big help, but with everything going on, I think her and the kids can use another familiar face."

"Family is important and I'm very happy to see you here." Gemma's eyes shift to Jax with the same knowing look she gave you. "Well, whenever you're ready, Tara's looking for you."

"Thanks, mom." Jax runs his hand over the top of his hair. Gemma glances at you both again once more before she walks away.

You start making your way out the door when Jax pulls you back in.

"You're engaged?" Jax asks with wide eyes.

"Was," you reply. 

"Was it to that pretentious English prick you brought back with you last time?" Jax snarls.

"Ray is a good guy and he treats me really well. We're just going through a bit of a rough patch right now," you tell him. "Also, the last I heard, you're married with two children, Teller."

Jax just looks at you, knowing he has no right to be upset about you being with another man.

"And I believe your wife is looking for you," you say before walking away from him as you see your nephews and niece running up to you. "Hey guys!"

Jax takes a drag of his cigarette while he continues watching you as you kneel down to greet the kids.

A few days later...

The sun is beginning to set and Jax is at the clubhouse. Most of the people have already left. He needs some quiet and alone time after spending a few days earlier in the week not just watching his best friend get killed, but also saying goodbye and laying him to rest. He climbs up the ladder onto the roof of the clubhouse, one of his favorite places to think and reflect quietly while smoking.  What he didn't expect to find is someone else had beat him to the spot.

"I didn't know you were here," Jax says as he walks over and sits next to them. "You've been avoiding me like the plague all week."

"I miss watching the sunset," you reply without looking at him.

"The sun doesn't set where you are?" Jax asks as he lights up a joint.

"It's not the same."

Jax takes a long drag and then offers it to you. 

You look at it for a moment and form a small smile before taking it from him.  The roof was also a place you both frequented in your youth to smoke pot, away from your parents and the adults. Eventually they figured out your secret spot, but it didn't stop you guys from coming back. You take a pull and hand it back to him.

"I also miss this.  There is nothing like California-grown weed."

Jax takes a hit and blows out the smoke from the corner of his mouth.

"Do you ever miss me?" Jax looks over at you and passes the joint back to you.

You look over to him and squint an eye to prevent the sun from blinding you.

"Yeah, sometimes I do."

"Does your English weed taste like fucking tea and crumpets?" Jax jokes.

"Oh, I get the best shit there is over there. Trust me." You chuckle. "But... it's not home."

"So why don't you come home?" Jax looks back at you with the same squinty face.

You look at him for a moment deciding what you want to say. "You know, that's the reason why Ray and I put the engagement on hold. With everything happening here, I wanted to be closer to family. Figure my shit out." You take another drag and return the joint back to him.

"There's more than family that would love to see you back home too." Jax reaches for your hand and squeezes it.

"Jackson, what happened the other day, we both acted out of impulse. We were both just... vulnerable.  I'm sorry if it gave the wrong impression."

Jax shakes his head, then takes another long pull of the joint. “Ope was like my moral compass, kept me grounded and always pointed me in the right direction, and now he's gone, because of me."

"Jackson, you can't--" You start shaking your head.

"You’re the closest thing I have left of Ope. I need you." Jax holds your hand.

"Jackson, in your heart, you always knew what was best. You don't need me." You push a loose chunk of his blonde hair away from his face and tuck it behind his ear.  "I know you're hurting, but I can't fill the void that Opie left. Nothing ever will. Just focus on what's important to you and you'll figure it out.  You always did." You smile at him while caressing his cheek with your thumb. "You got this." He closes his eyes and leans in to your hand, soaking in your touch.

"You still have too much faith me." He turns his head slightly to kiss the palm of your hand.

"Yeah, maybe. Besides, our boat sailed a long time ago," you add, pulling your hands away from him and looking away. Jax takes the last drag of the joint and tosses it off the roof.

"Maybe that boat can make one last stop before sailing away for good?" Jax gently grabs your chin and turns your head to him to look into his slightly droopy eyes.

Even all this time, it's still hard to not get lost in his baby blues. It's even harder with the perfect setting: the firey orange sky, the slight California breeze, the clubhouse rooftop. Maybe it's the weed, but it feels perfect in the moment. It's all taking you back to the summer when you were 14, when the only care in your worlds were right in front of each other. It's also the perfect setting for cruising around. Jax use to "borrow" one of the bikes from the clubhouse and take you on joyrides, basking in the sun while the wind hits your faces.

He slowly leans into you, and you close the distance, pressing your lips against his. Jax immediately responds and kisses back, his tongue slipping between your teeth. You can taste whiskey mixed with a faint linger of cigarettes and marijuana. Jax cradles your neck and pulls you in closer to him.

The loud roar of a motorcycle driving by and backfiring breaks you up.  You both are brought back to reality that you are both still on a rooftop and a bit baked.

"Come on, let's get inside." Jax jerks his head towards the latch.  Jax helps you down the ladder first and he follows behind.  He quickly makes a sweep and doesn't see anyone except for a few guys at the bar with their back turned towards the both of you.  Jax grabs your hand and leads you back into the spare bedroom you both were in earlier in the week. This definitely feels like you both are hormone-driven teenagers again, sneaking around the clubhouse. 

Once Jax closes and locks the door, he turns his attention back to you but he stops in his tracks to really look at you. All of you. He never thought he'd ever be with you or see you like this again.  What happened the other day was different.  Like you said, it was a moment of weakness, an impulsive move on both of you because of shared pain.

This time, there is no urgency, there is no hurt, just the two of you re-living a moment the two of you wish you had the opportunity to experience over and over again. This time it's intentionally and purely for the most selfish reasons. He walks over to you and presses his lips onto yours, taking his time to actually taste and feel your soft lips on his.  He pulls you in close to his body as his hands explore yours.

As the both of you continue to deliberately and slowly make out, Jax grabs your ass and presses himself against you, feeling his erection through your clothes. Jax pushes you backward towards the bed and you fall back when you feel the edge hit the back of your knees. He falls on top of you and expertly starts disrobing you while making out with you.  In one quick swift, Jax pulls your shirt over your head, leaving you in a satin black bra.  He takes his time with you, starting with his lips on your neck, licking and kissing it, even nibbling at it.  He's always wanted to leave a hickey on you, letting all the guys know you're taken. He then makes his way down to your collar bone, the top of your chest and then pulls down your bra on one side to reveal a nipple.  He puts his mouth over it and swirls his tongue around it.  Jax looks up to see your reaction and find you looking back biting your lower lip. He smirks and pulls down the other side of your bra and gives that nipple the same attention, making you arch against his mouth. 

"Oh, Jackson," you moan.

He lets out a low growl.

"As much as I want to hear all the sexy noises coming out of your mouth while I'm pleasuring you, you gotta keep it quiet, darlin'." He kisses you while he unhooks your bra and tosses it aside. He then unbuttons your pants and backs himself off the bed. He slowly slides your pants and thong off your hips and down your legs. He licks his lips, excited to unwrap you like his present. You watch him as he lowers himself to his knees and kneels at your feet to help you with your boots and removes the rest of the clothes off your body.  Suddenly feeling a bit exposed and shy like it's your first time with Jax, you keep your legs together. Jax places his hands on each of your knees and coaxes them open. He looks at his gift and licks his lips.

He dives in between your legs while looking up at you. His soft lips and warm wet tongue are licking and sucking you on all the right places and his beard tickling your inner thighs.  That's new to you.  He barely had peach fuzz in his teens. You feel him slip a finger inside you as his lips are pulling at your clit.  Your breathing is getting shorter and more shallow.  Jax inserts another long finger in you and finds your g-spot, rubbing circles on it.

"Jax, I..." Feeling your orgasm building, you are rendered speechless. Jax continues sucking and stroking you until you come undone into his mouth and on his fingers. He watches you squirm and thrash as you scream quietly in ecstasy. He doesn't stop until you are sensitive to his touch and you push him away.  He wipes his beard and smiles at you, proud of his accomplishment. Jax surely still knows his way around your body.

You glance up to him as he gets to his feet.  You watch him strip his clothes off, first the kutte, then his shirt pulled over his head.  He kicks off his sneakers as he takes his time unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his jeans.  You're glad he's taking his time though because it allows you to soak up and remember every second you have with this gorgeous man in front of you.  He finally pulls his jeans and boxers down.  Besides from the other day, the last time you and him were this intimate, the both of you were shorter, slimmer and clearly less experienced.  Now you’re both grown, gained curves and muscles and are far more seasoned in the bedroom.  He's also certainly grown in other places as well.

"Back up," Jax nods his head as he climbs onto the bed and  hovers above you.  You scoot back so your whole body is on the bed.  Jax lays on top of you and smashes his lips against yours again, cradling your neck and grinding against you.  You can feel the head of cock teasing your opening.

"Maybe we should use a condom this time," you tell him in between kisses.

"I'm not gonna lie.  You did feel amazing without one the other day," Jax admits.

You and Jax had always been careful and taking the right steps when you were younger, using condoms at all times so that time was the first time you both had sex without one. Thankfully you are on birth control and both are STD-free, but you know you shouldn't take any chances.  

You give him a knowing look.

"Anything for you, darlin'." Jax gives you a kiss on the cheek before getting up to put on a condom.  He climbs back on top of you and looks at you as he caresses your face, still not believing that you're beneath him.

You gently grab his face with both hands and kiss him deeply. You then feel him slip inside you. All of him.  You moan into his mouth and move with him, both of your hips slowly thrusting in unison. Jax grabs your hands and brings them above your head. He intertwines his fingers with yours and thrusts deeper into you.  He watches you while you relish in the moment, as he pulls these lost emotions from you with each deliberate push.  You wrap your legs around his waist and it encourages him to pick up the pace.  You try to do the same and meet his rhythm.

Jax releases your hands and reaches for your legs behind him and brings them in front of him to rest on his shoulders, deepening his access to you.  His hand reaches up to cradle your neck as he pounds into you. You then feel his thumb slide over the front of your throat.  You start to feel his fingers tighten slightly around your neck. This is also new for you and Jax, but you're loving it.  You can feel yourself getting closer to achieving another orgasm.

"Jackson..." you pant.

"Come for me, darlin'.  I know you're there," Jax grunts.

You close your eyes and feel bliss as you let yourself go, letting your body take over you.  After your orgasm subsides, you open your eyes and find Jax is no longer making love to you, but just smiling at you while still inside you. Now it's time for you to show him a few tricks you've learned.

"Get on your back," you tell him.

Without any protest from Jax, you both switch positions.  Jax lies on his back with this hands behind his head, waiting for you to take the wheel.  You straddle him and take your time sinking yourself onto him.  You feel a lot more confident about being on top than you did when you were younger.  You were shy and inexperienced.  Now? You're going to ride him like the sexiest Harley you've ever had the privilege of sitting on. You slowly start riding him, rocking back and forth, grinding on him and teasing him. You enjoy the feeling of him filling you up to the hilt as you push down on him.

Jax looks up at you, watching you take charge and own his dick.  He definitely notices you're a lot more comfortable in this position than he remembers.  He reaches up and runs his hands over your breasts, massaging them and caressing your nipples as you enjoy the ride. He's certainly enjoying the view.

"You are still as fucking beautiful as the day I fell in love with you," Jax says, mesmerized by the image in front of him.

You smile and then lean back, placing your hands behind you on his thighs. Jax looks at you curiously. You roll your hips and start sliding up and down on him, giving him a clear view.  He looks down and watches himself disappear in and out of you.

Jax groans and runs the palms of his hands over your thighs and settles on your hips.  One of his hands then slides over between your legs and he starts rubbing circles on your clit with this thumb. You moan and gasp. You then lean forward, placing your hands on the pillow of each side of his head and lean down closer to him.  You start bouncing your ass up and down as you look down on him, your hair forming a curtain around your faces.  Jax grabs your ass and starts thrusting up to meet your movement. The only sounds echoing in the room are your pants and your bodies slapping against each other.  Jax speeds up and watches your face as it distorts.  He knows you've got another one inside you and you're very close.

"Come on, darlin'. Let it go." Jax coos.

You let out a loud moan as your legs shake and feel like a firecracker exploded inside of you.  Jax clamps a hand over your mouth as he continues to drill inside.

"There you go, Y/N." Jax smiles watching you fall apart on top of him.  He then swiftly flips you onto your back and roughly drives into you a few more times until he finally gets his own release.

As he slows down, you both look at each other, savoring the moment and then kiss softly.

Suddenly the door knob starts to rattle and the person on the other side is banging on the door.

"Yo, hurry it up! I gotta take a shit!" an unrecognizable voice shouts.

"Hey asshole, the bathroom is further down!" You both hear Chibs shouting. You place your hands over your mouth as you start to laugh.

"Shh!" Jax puts a finger over his pursed lips as he tries to suppress his own laughter.

SMASH CUT TO BLACK

A/N: I never put notes at the end but I figured I'd let you enjoy the fic first before mentioning I currently don't have plans to expand this story. I might in the future, but not in the near future.  I originally intended the first part to be short and be a one off, but I just kept writing and writing and there were so many places and opportunities to keep expanding. Same for part two.  There were so many directions I could have gone. I had a bit of struggle with this for some reason. It's not quite exactly how I pictured it ending but it works for what it is.

If you haven’t read it yet, I wrote two short scenes titled “Carry Me Home” and “Joyride” which are like flashbacks in this universe.

#charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam fanfiction #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #au #reimagine

[lesbianmulcahy]

Father Mulcahy for the character meme!

Thank you so much!! And thanks also to @klingersgender and to the anon for also asking Mulcahy! Sorry this took a moment

Favorite thing about them: augh to choose... I think what makes him stand out so much in my head (and sorry that i'm gonna sound sooo pretentious. but this is THE blorbo from my shows for me) is the way he cares SO MUCH and how much he just wants to be worthy and useful and liked, and how that manifests in that kind of quiet kindness he has. Maybe I just like insecure characters. Also I love that he can be so funny, his humor makes me think of Spock (blorbo from TOS (the original shows), except he tries a little more. But there is that similar kind of deadpan, especially during the later seasons, I think

Least favorite thing about them: I mean the fact that he's out there like voluntarily is :/ yeah. I'm sorry that's such a boring answer but like. he definitely has his faults but I think they are funny so I like them actually

Favorite line: I love "Well, I'm very good at keeping secrets. There are some things I won't even tell myself". Also I am still obsessed with "My parents wished that I had been a girl, hence my name Francis". Fucked up that he said that actually, I haven't known peace since

BROTP: Oh... I do love his relationship with Klinger, I think they have such a fun dynamic,and it goes pretty much all through the series too. Like espevially during the early season they just vibe so hard. ALSO Sarah from Aftermash. They are SUCH a fun couple I'm sorry to talk about Aftermash so much but Sarah my BELOVED and she and Mulcahy are just. fucking insane

OTP: I'm going to refer you all to this post. I simply think he and Sidney had a wild relationship spanning from 1943 through the war and then when they meet again in 1954. It happens I know it cause they told me <3 But also you can talk me into thinking any ship is good and fun. I do like him and Hawkeye too

NOTP: I don't think I have any grounds to like.. actively judge anyone's ships, looking at mine. I guess I'm not a fan if pairing him with women

Random headcanon: I think he and Klinger share the brown cardigan since we see both of them wear it! Oh also maybe more inch resting, I think he started trying to learn the names of some of the surgical instruments after Carry On Hawkeye! I want him to go into nursing school actually

Unpopular opinion: I don't think that I've seen enough popular opinions about him to have any unpopular ones. Is it unpopular that I think that he doesn't have any kind of inner turmoil about queerness. His guilt and inferiority complex come from different things

Song I associate with them: Accidentally started associating him with Syksyn Sävel by Juice Leskinen, especially the part that goes like "Take me into your dreams, even if I board other trains / it's october and you can see it on me / When I get close to you, even the gods believe in me / Although I always don't myself". A less embarrassing answer would probably be Laughing With by Regina Spektor

Favorite picture of them:

Here are some!! Tbh I could pic any images and like. Those would be my favorite. I simply like his shape :)

Thank you one more time for asking!!!

#sorry that this is barely coherent #hes just such a character of all time for me #how do i make it so this wont show up in the main tags... is it still that tumblr wont show past the 5th tag? #ask

[flying-elliska]

hi ellie, you'd mentioned being french and you seem like a lovely person whose posts i relate to a lot so i hope you won't mind me asking you some tips on integrating french society *nervous smile emoji*i'm currently doing my masters in paris and i really want to socialize more and also find a part-time job, but it's been really hard. i speak the language and did most of my studies in french, but i'm not european and i do get stereotyped a lot, what can i do to change people's perception of me?

Hey anon ! that’s very sweet of you <3

Now bear in mind, I am French, yes, but also Dutch and I left five years ago, and one reason for that was that French type socializing wasn’t honestly my favorite, lmao. I have an ‘inside-outside’ perspective that might not be the universal one, and I honestly became a lot more social once I left France. So in a way I do feel your pain lmao. That said ! I do think I can give you a few tips :

- Now first of all I don’t believe in bending over backwards/changing your personality to make friends. But ! That also dovetails into the fact that French people tend to dislike or avoid anyone they perceive as ‘fake’, trying too hard, pretentious, or artificial - and their standards for that are very broad, encompassing people who smile a lot, are very loud, are high strung, talk blatantly about their own achievements, are too happy or enthusiastic, etc. Now, if you’re naturally any of these things, again, don’t try too hard too change, but adopting a more laid-back, slightly blasé, low key attitude might help you.

- Expat sites are fond of saying that French people are like coconuts, tough to crack but once you’re in, they’re pretty ride-or-die (compared to anglophones, who are likened to peaches, friendly on the outside but hard to really know). That means you might have to spend more time in company of people before actual friendship happens, don’t get discouraged too quickly or think people don’t like you if they’re not instantly very friendly ! A lot of French students don’t bother to get to know internationals because they’re going to leave anyway so what’s the point ? So I think to make real friends, you often have to show you are committed to keeping in contact even if you leave. A lot of French people are not really into ‘collecting casual acquaintances’, I feel. Also, privacy is a huge thing, and spilling or asking for deep personal stuff w sb you don’t know well is not great.

- Things that go over well : sarcastic/acerbic/dark humor, showing that you have a well developped opinion on cultural stuff, a critical mind, a strong sense of personal style, complaining about things in a witty way as a way of bonding, showing you don’t take yourself or things in general too seriously. I made most of my French friends while bonding over shared interests and having deep philosophical conversations (well, most of my friends actually, but maybe that is my French side lmao) and I feel there tends to be a very intellectual aspect of bonding there. I mean not always lmao but...yeah. I met a lot of people because they/I said something original and interesting and the conversation sprung from there, even if it’s a polemic at first, it can lead to somewhere interesting. You might want to think about specific conversation topics to start. Don’t be afraid to openly (playfully) disagree with people, that can be appreciated and seen as a sign of a strong character. It’s tricky because French humor can have a lot of layers and is not always easy to understand but in doubt, go for dry and absurd. I have some French friends I call once in a while just to be bitchy about things and it’s suuuuuuuch a relief ; inversely moving to the Netherlands I had to learn how to be a lot more positive not to be seen as a downer lol. French ppl can be mean to show affection too, but be careful not to insult people too directly. In general, if you want to socialize going to clubs, classes, or specific evenings about a topic are a good way. 

- As for getting a part time job honestly i feel that’s a lot more depending on where you want to work etc I can’t really give you precise tips there but I think in general showing appropriate politeness in a French way (discretion, neatness, formality) and showing that you’ve thought a lot about what the work entails would help

But yeah those are very broad generalizations, it is also like everywhere about finding your people who are into the same things you are, and there are assholes who are going to stereotype you because they’re just assholes. Be kind to yourself, being abroad is always a very complicated and intense experience, there is nothing wrong with you for struggling ! <3 Just keep trying, experiment, and don’t take it too seriously if something doesn’t work out, most often it’s not about you. Reading books on intercultural communication might be interesting (I got the Culture Map from Erin Meyer, it sounds relevant). And let me know how it goes if you want ! 

[comradesummers]

16, 27 and 39 for the bookish asks :)

Hi anon, thanks for asking!

16: If you could bring three books to a deserted island which would you bring and why?

1. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

I read that book six months ago and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. It is just so fucking good, it’s honestly hard to describe just how much it means to me. Like, I could tell you how great the plot is, and how great the characters are (especially Sammy, I love him so much), and how beautifully overwrought the language is (Chabon’s overwritten style is exactly the kind of shameless pretentiousness that I am here for), or how much I love the theme of escape and the emphasis on the value of so-called “low-brow” media, or how much Joe’s story reminds me of my grandfather’s, or how wonderful it is to read a story written by a Jew about Jews who created an entire art form basically so that they could make money off their revenge fantasies towards Nazis, which is actually a pretty accurate description of the early comic book years, and like, I could go on. But honestly, even all that doesn’t really capture the emotional journey Chabon took me on, and if I were stranded on a desert island, I’d want to have a book that made me feel that thoroughly.

Plus, it’s like, really long, so it should entertain me for a while.

2. The Complete Works of Virginia Woolf

(Yes, I realize that doing ‘the complete works of’ is cheating, but I’m doing it anyway).

I’ll be honest, I keep meaning to read a book by her, and other books keep getting in the way, and I feel like a desert island might be the perfect place to finally catch up. Plus, I did read A Room of One’s Own for school once, and that was really good. So I feel like I know what I’m getting into, and I’m fairly certain I’ll enjoy it.

3. Orientalism

I think I just need to reread that one. Like obviously there are more modern, up to date takes on post-colonialism, but there are very few books that have had quite the impact on the world of academia. And obviously it’s not perfect, but it’s also one of those academic texts that need to be studied regardless of how old it is. I mean, it’s the book that basically created post-colonial theory, which is an indescribably huge accomplishment, obviously. But it’s more than that. It’s an emotional book, like it’s righteously angry. And that’s so fucking important, because Said has every right to be angry. I mean, what he’s writing about is infuriating, and it affects him directly. So I think part of what makes that book so important, makes it a work of literature in addition to a work of academia, is that he doesn’t even try to do the smug academic detachment thing.

Plus, I think that as an Israeli person, it’s my responsibility to educate myself on the works of Palestinians about colonialism and how it affects them, and what better place to do it than on a desert island.

27: If you could change one thing about mainstream literature what would you change? (i.e. more diversity, better writing, better plot etc.)

I mean, more diversity, better writing, better plot - it all sounds good to me.

But I guess if I had to pick something else, I wish that some of the authors of mainstream adult literature would stop writing like they’re too cynical for human emotions. I’m not really sure how else to describe it, but there’s a genre of literature that’s kind of obsessed with not caring about how characters feel, and it makes for a very unpleasant read. I mean, I have nothing against generally ambivalent third person narration, but I feel like you can do that without sacrificing the human element, or a reader’s connection with a character, and some authors sacrifice that on purpose. I get the whole Brechtian detachment thing, but sometimes it’s just not fun. And I feel like it’s one of the main factors that leads adults to retreat to YA, because it’s a genre that guarantees that authors don’t think they’re too good for feelings.

39: Name one of your favorite childhood books

Not naming just one, because I can’t choose.

First and foremost, Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I was absolutely obsessed with that series. I read each book so many times I lost count. I also read the sequel series and the Kane Chronicles (which no one remembers, although that might be a good thing considering Sadie ends up with a like a weird magical combination of her two love interests, one of whom is a literal immortal god, and she’s like 12. I mean, wtf Rick?). Unfortunately I grew out of Riordan’s stuff right around the time it became really super gay, so I never got into Magnus Chase and the like.

Additionally, A Wrinkle in Time was one of the first books I remember reading and thinking, “Wow, this is actually challenging me and the way I see the world.” And when I was younger the work of Michael Ende and  Erich Kästner were often featured during bedtime (Jews really like Germans who hate Nazis).  

#the amazing adventures of kavalier & clay #kavalier and clay #virginia woolf #a room of one's own #edward said #orientalism #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan #the kane chronicles #a wrinkle in time #michael ende #erich kästner #michael chabon

[the-poutine-routine]

Have you talked much about Valse Triste? Could be fun to go back to their first senior fd!

Ok… let’s do this *cracks knuckles* *plays vm spotify playlist*

Hi anon! I mean I’ve mentioned Valse Triste I think...? But never have I ranted about it in great detail, so... um yeah... I guess I’ll do that now.

Overall thoughts:

I think as a whole Valse Triste was super fitting to who Tessa and Scott were as skaters at the time. The music had both a sense of levity and of maturity that matched the situation of being a couple of kids thrown into a competition with a whole bunch of seasoned ice dancers. I guess the main thing that stood out to me as they performed was- to steal one of the commentators’ phrasing- how automatic they look. Even after skating together for only ten years (I know, it’s such a short amount of time), they fall into hold together so easily, they always know where the other is on the ice. Moreover, they look so prepared, they go through all the elements so smoothly and precisely as if they never have to even think about what’s coming next. 

They look like they have something to prove.

So I love Valse Triste, it’s probably one of my favorite programs of theirs (that’s a lie, they’re all my favorites). I guess I see it as almost a pre-cursor to Mahler. It has the same sort of mood that I can’t quite find the words for right now... a brightness and joyfulness but with the faintest undertones of melancholy (damn, I sound like a pretentious asshole). 

It’s almost like with Mahler they’re just a couple of kids dancing, showing the world what they’ve got; while with Valse Triste they’re just a couple of kids dancing, showing the world that they have something to give.

Initial notes on the limitations of my analysis: 

Normally I like to give my overall thoughts (see above) at the end of these nonsensical rants, but this got insanely long and in depth (and illustrated) so I’m adding a break.

ALSO, normally when I’m doing analyses it’s from a specific competition and I’m comparing vm’s scores to another team, however, with this one, I’m not really out here arguing that Tessa and Scott were lowballed, so more than anything, I’m comparing them to themselves at present. I’m not saying that they were better or worse at any given time (although obviously Valse Triste was more than ten years ago, so they did make a lot of improvements from them until 2018...)

And, as always, I am no ice dance expert so everything that I say may or may not be complete and utter bullshit.

Oh, one last thing! I get super in depth about the program and all its elements yadda yadda, but then I have a blurb about why IJS isn’t that great of a judging system at the end so that might be worth while to read even if you don’t care about the rest of my rambling soooo yeah...

Ok hi! Hope you’re doing well!

Anywho, here’s the video that I watched. I used Worlds because, in theory, that should be their best skate / the best representation of the program as a whole. 

Ok, so here’s the protocol:

The judging, base values, component scoring, etc. have all obviously changed quite a bit since 2007, however I’m too lazy to re-learn IJS based on the 2007 system, so we’re just going to have to make do with my knowledge of the 2018 system. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Technical Element Scores (aka me blabbering incoherently because I wrote this part after doing PCS and my brain no longer wants to be organized):

The first thing I noticed about the TES when looking at the protocol was that while vm got everything called (because they’re freaking legends. Oh my god.), they didn’t have super great GOEs. I guess this kind of makes sense, particularly in the lifts you can kind of see them setting up for them rather than letting them flow with the program.

I think to give this entire shit show of a post a bit more organization, I’m going to break each element down by type and give some quick, spur-of-the-moment, rapid-fire thoughts. Kapeesh? 

Lifts:

I think it’s interesting how accurate of a representations Tessa and Scott’s lifts can be to the timeline of their career. The lifts in Valse Triste are all very low to the ground. Tessa has her head almost touching the ice in the straight-line lift, for example.

While the strength and balance needed to execute the lift are very obvious from looking at it, it’s not big or reaching outward like good ol’ cunniliftus or the curved lift from Prince and Moulin Rouge do. However, this isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually more fitting with the program and with who they were as skaters at the time. While they were spectacular ice dancers even back then, they also were just a couple of kids. Having huge lifts in this particular program probably would not only not fit musically, but also almost make it seem as if vm were trying too hard... if that makes sense? (Sorry, it sounds like I’m throwing shade, I promise I’m not, I really do like the lifts and think they’re perfect given the program).

Step Sequences:

Although this isn’t necessarily a technical attribute, I guess what stood out to me most about the step sequences were their confidence. They execute each turn so exactly, there’s no long drawn out edge going into them, every thing about the step sequences ooze self-assuredness, sort of like they’re saying “We’ve practiced this ten trillion times. We know what we’re doing. We’ve got this.”

Spin:

Honestly, I don’t have all that much to comment on this. A spin is a spin is a spin. What I notice more than the spin itself is the transition into and out of it, how quickly they execute it, and the speed with which they move out of it. 

Twizzles:

Again, not much to say here... they’re twizzles... Scott does get a bit off on the second one but somehow manages to save it and come out at the same time as Tessa which is pretty amazing hehehe. 

Program Component Scores:

Obviously, little baby 2007 Tessa and Scott had a bit of work to do before they became the Ultimate Ice Dancers Supreme™ that they are now, so there component scores were all in the 6-7 range (which is still pretty darn respectable), rather than maxing out in the 9-10 range like they did (crying that I have to use past-tense) in their later career.

Skating Skills:

Honestly, they’re fine? I mean yes they’re very good, but they still do have some work to do. I don’t know… they have very good edges and extensions as per usual, but they do seem to lack a bit of the up-and-down smooth knee bend movement that is super representative of Canadian skating and that they have boatloads of later on in their career. On a bit of a tangent, however, areas in which they do need to improve their skating skills almost lend themselves well to the program (the power of negative space, eh?). They add to the sense of innocence and youth of the program? As in as much as I love the Valse Triste, I think a lot of its meaning and pizzazz would not at all be fitting to a present day vm. 

Linking Footwork / Movement:

So I’m going to equate this to the part of the score that’s now called “Transitions” because… yeah… I just am, I’m assuming it’s more or less the same thing. The transitions were actually one of the main things I noticed upon my re-watching of this program. I don’t want to say that their transitions were simpler than they are now, per se, as that makes it seem like they were bad back in the Valse Triste days, but they kind of were… simpler. Rather than using turns and footwork to link together elements, Valse Triste more used crossovers, mini lift-like moves (Tessa looping a leg over Scott, etc.)

 and body movements to move from one element to the next. Now, in some ways, this is nice- especially as someone who is not an expert on every. single. ice. dance. element. (particularly those from 2007)- as it really accentuated … oop, writing pause, Come What May just came on and I need to take a sec to look forlornly into the distance … OK SO it really accentuated where each element ended and another began. However, if we’re thinking about flow, which is something that every program really should have, more full? (that’s a weird word, I know) transitions help the more modern vm programs to seem a lot more cohesive than much of their earlier work.

Choreography:

I know that technically on the protocol sheet, “Performance” comes before “Choreography” ties in to what I just blabbered about regarding transitions so… Ok so yeah, not going to lie to y’all, I’m not really a huge fan of Marina-esque choreography. She uses a lot of hops (brief side note: apparently vm got criticism for using hops to pick up speed, but this was literally part of the choreo. What gives?) and pauses as transitions which not only breaks up the elements and takes away from the cohesiveness of the program as a whole, but also doesn’t always make sense given programs with particularly um… ethereal… music, such as Valse Triste, or Mahler, or Seasons. 

That being said, something that the choreography does do very well, is being matched appropriately with the music. Although some of this obviously plays into the “Musical Interpretation / Timing” score, the fact that specific body movements or elements were chosen to go at certain points in the program as the mood and temp of the music evolves is very telling of a well-choreographed program. A prime example of this is how the circle step sequence (starting here) is set to a much more lively piece of the music, which makes sense choreographically as they are required to complete multiple turns in quick succession. 

Performance & Interpretation / Timing:

So, I’m just going to lump these two together because I’m lazy, because I can, and for reasons that I’ll explain in a hot sec. As always, I think Tessa and Scott did a stellar job of performing this program. Something that they excel at more than probably any other team ever…? is portraying characters and I think this program is a prime example of that. They make use of every body movement and ensure that everything is timed perfectly with even the smallest accent in the music. 

Ok so sort of a choppy transition here, but in skating, I am kind of a huge fan of facial expressions (which doesn’t necessarily make sense, as I’m totally one of those people who will beat someone up if they say that figure skating isn’t a sport, but that’s besides the point). The video is not the best quality because like… 2007… but even without being able to see specific minute details of either of their faces, you can tell that they are emoting. For example…

…here you can sort of see their faces and what they’re doing with them which is great, obvs, but more than that you can almost tell the emotion that they are feeling / portraying from their extensions and from their overall body language / movement. They really emote through their entire beings which is a skill that many ice dance teams don’t even come close to doing.

The limitations of IJS:

That hot sec that I mentioned in why I lumped Interpretation and Performance together? That one? Yeah, that hot sec is right now. 

Ok, so, one of the things I struggled with in trying to separate out each specific program component to look at is that any skating program is meant to be viewed as an entire entity. Yes, there are individual elements and individual components that all make up the program, but any skater and choreographer worth their salt (is that a saying? I don’t know) will try to add some sense of musicality and flow to a program, whether it be through having a storyline for the program or simply having certain movements that tie everything in the program up in a neat package from beginning to end. 

This being the case, it’s really hard to look at a program and parse out which movements are part of choreography, what pieces are thought up by the skater themself as part of the performance, etc. So… yeah it was hard. 

Another thing to note is that judging bias is a real thing. In this case I don’t think any biases necessarily came from judges being paid off or playing favorites or anything, but simply due to expectations. It’s not even anything to do with vm themselves, but with every newer senior team. First of all, when a team is placed higher in world rankings, they will skate in a later group at Worlds. This means that in the later groups there is a much higher expectation for the teams to do better and thus when a newer / lower ranked team is particularly good, the judges might be blindsided a bit and not give them that high a score simply because they did not expect that team to be good and consequentially do not see them as good (psychology, anyone?).

Another result of being in an earlier group is that the judges and tech panel aren’t going to want start right off the bat by giving all +3 GOEs and 10.00 component scores. There needs to be somewhere for the scores to go throughout the competition. So pretty much the earlier teams might be scored particularly harshly as they are pretty much setting the bar and being a baseline off of which all the other teams are going to be judged for the rest of the competition. (I mean technically, teams aren’t supposed to be compared to one another but like………)

Wow wow wow ok you made it! Yup, that was very long and probably made no sense and had like twenty different moods because I skipped around while writing it, but maybe you thought it was worth the twelve hours it took you to get through it? Probably not...

Anyway, thank you so much anon for inspiring my ranting :) 

#Anonymous #anon #ask #rants and stuff #valse triste #tessa and scott #analyses #wow #I hate that I just wrote this whole thing #If I put this much effort into the rest of my life #...I could be so successful #ok #well have a nice night all!

[judgeanon]

What do you look on a comic and how do you determine if it's is excelent, good or fucking awful? Do you look on the scrip/writing? The characters? The waifus? the artwork? ps: I love how u write/talk/explain stuff about comics, keep rocking Judge Anon.

Thanks for the ps! As for the rest, well, it’s hard to explain without sounding a bit pretentious about it. But comics are very much a marriage of a bunch of different elements coming together to tell a story and say something. This is gonna get long, so lemme just...

There. Now, personally, I’m at the stage where I want my comics to either have something to say or be good at entertaining me. What’s funny is that my standards for the latter are a bit higher than the former. I can forgive awkward writing or janky art if the authors are saying something and being genuine about it, if their desire to talk truthfully about something they think is important gleams through the cracks in their skills.

If the authors have nothing to say but are instead just trying to be entertaining, to give a bit of fun escapism, that’s where I get a bit more nitpicky about it. I’m not one for pointing plot holes unless they’re exceedingly glaring, but I do worry a lot about characters. I like my stories to be character driven and give their stars some agency and development, so when that doesn’t happen or when they start wobbling, I get really annoyed, really quick. I’ll take ten plot contrivances/coincidences over one character suddenly acting stupid because the story demanded it.

As for good or bad, it’s a very case by case basis. A comic can be immediately good at what they do, be it action or comedy or drama, and if it stays its course and doesn’t lose its way then it can grow into something excellent. A comic can be slow burn good too, the kind that slowly endears you to it and its characters, and so you’re reading issue 20 or 30 and each issue gets more gripping than the next because suddenly you find yourself caring much more than you thought it’d be possible. And then there’s comics where, like a band full of decent players and one really awesome singer or guitarist or drummer, there’s one element in particular that grabs you from the start and keeps you hooked in, be it art or writing or even coloring. One of my favorite books of last year was like 70% because of the colors. As for art, it’s definitely a hugely important part of every comic, but to me, it can’t save a book with lousy or boring writing. Not for more than five or six issues.

Now, bad comics in my eyes come in two forms: comics that turn bad and comics that are bad. Comics that turn bad are the ones that either don’t deliver on their initial promise, screw up the payoff or simply wear themselves thin and run out of ideas. It sucks and it’s a bummer, but the more time passes the more I realize how better it is to let go of things you’re reading just out of inertia. Bad comics that are bad are just that, comics that completely fuck up either one element very noticeably, or all parts of its whole. Bad or boring plots stretched endlessly, terrible art where you can’t tell who’s doing what to who, paper thin or schizophrenic characterization, etc.

But the worst kind of comic for me is the evil alternate dimension version of the comic with message: the comic with an insincere message. The comic that starts off like it’s gonna have something to say, and then either doesn’t say it or reduces it to the simplest possible idea. The comic that isn’t genuine, that is just using its themes as soundbites to sell itself, that has a message which has been deliberately picked not because it’s actually interesting to the author but because it’s a hook. Comics that are controversial in the safest way possible and ultimately resolves it in a shallow way. It’s a cynical, soulless, hollow way of making anything really, and I have no time for it regardless of how good it might turn out.

Anyway, that’s about it for the “professional” stuff. Now, I’m gonna be completely honest here and say there is a bigger chance of me picking a comic book up if it has a female main character. And a much bigger chance if she’s my kind of female main character. You can probably imagine how that looks like by now. Now, if the comic ends up being bad for whatever reason, I’m sure as fuck not going to defend it just because it has one or two characters I dig in them, especially if said characters are just wafer-thin caricatures or get written terribly further down the road. 

Of course, every now and then someone writes something that manages to pander to you and still be completely awesome in every possible way, meeting and exceeding all expectations and then taking it one step further by throwing a bunch of curve balls your way and keeping you guessing. It’s happened to me a couple of times, and I wish everyone who got into comics could feel it at least once.