#my life is actively falling apart

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Inbox is open? 😭

Only for questions and still little comments ❤️

My reqs are ❤️closed❤️

#requests closed #my life is actively falling apart #my job is killing me #my left arm is in a sling #i still love you tho

[hauntedtrait]

URGENT MUTUAL AID‼️⚠️PLEASE HELP A DISABLED TRANSGENDER LATINO MAINTAIN HOUSING⚠️‼️

remaking an old post of mine from a different blog because this one has way more followers and I am in an extremely desperate situation.

my work situation still has not improved, I’m only earning about 440$ a month, which is about half what I need to pay rent, bills and take care of me and my cats. I may lose my apartment come april and have no place to live, especially if I can’t make up my late rent for this month and the next until then.

I need 212$ to cover rent for January, and once February comes around I’ll be short at least 470$, possibly more due to bills.

There are a few ways you can help me:

SHARING THIS POST. regardless of what you are able to do, PLEASE PLEASE share this post and spread the word. I am DESPERATE in need of help.

Donating to my GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/1edd7f44

Sending money to my c*shapp or v*nmo ( both usernames are deadmallgoth )

Sending money to my p*ypal: [email protected]

Hiring me for Graphic Design work ( I am a part time Graphic Designer also looking to get into Freelance work, if you need any kind of graphics for whatever reason please feel free to email me at [email protected] and I can share examples of my work and discuss price. )

#mutual aid #assistance request #survival fund #disabled #queer #fundraising #donation post #donation request #LISTEN i know i havent been active here on this blog #i havent been playing sims #my life is literally falling apart so #i havent really had the time or energy lol #if i get evicted or cant renew my lease i'll essentially be homeless

[mamawasatesttube]

you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually

#my stance up to now has been that i don't really care about tim/ber but now that i have read this. dude... #it sucks that they gave a canon queer tim narrative to someone who uses homophobia as shock value and virtue signaling points #and who actively tears down characters who don't like her special little uwu flawless oc (kate im so fucking sorry) #there's no substance to this relationship i don't see why they even like each other #bc she keeps just stating oh they're perfect they make each other so happy but she doesn't like. show that at all #and i HATE the shock value homophobia like i cannot overstate how much i hate it #oh these random cops are homophobic (that's how you know they're BAD!) #oh bernard's parents are homophobic (that's how you know THEY'RE bad too!) #it's so hamfisted and it reads like such. cheap storytelling #especially bc tim as narrator doesn't even get to have ANY thoughts on his own queerness or seeing this homophobia in the world around him #and then she can't go more than two pages without being like BTW BERNARD IS THE BEST EVER AND TIM CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM #while against this ugly backdrop of shock value homophobia #there's no substance to this relationship. why do they even like each other. it just falls apart if you examine it at all #because she just is fundamentally incapable of writing either of them as people with character flaws #for fucks sake she can't even be consistent with tim's BASIC character tenets. ''i always dreamed of being batman'' false lmao #but then to follow it up with ''i never wanted to be batman i always wanted to be my dad'' #and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN. #yeah sorry im a hater now. this was shit tier #rimi talks

[alagaesia-headcanons]

I will always defend Orrin with my life and I've elaborated on my love of his character many times, but I realize I've failed to point out a particularly foundational detail regarding all that. I suspect that it goes very unnoticed by most people (unsurprisingly since it's only subtly referenced once) that an important aspect of Orrin is how young he is. He's only a little older than the main cast; during the war he's only 23-24. Orrin goes through all that trauma without that much experience behind him and a great deal of uncertainty ahead of him. I think it really sheds a lot of light on his fear of losing everything he cares about to the Empire when considering how much of his life is left in front of him. He really does have so much to lose, and the weight of all the relentless, compounding grief that he wouldn't be accustomed to or prepared for could so easily break him into despair.

#nasuadas 18 and states that hes 5 years older than her #eragon #inheritance cycle #orrin #his life was already not fully settled and stable when it was then uprooted and torn apart #he didnt get that luxury any more than the other main characters #the tragically impossible task of figuring things out as they actively fall apart #ive just never bothered to mention his age bc its very obvious to me and i need to remind myself #that most people dont comb through every mention of this unpopular side character like a lunatic hdasfkdfdsjk #but someones gotta do it o7 #orrin my beloved

[dullahandyke]

didnt even touch on the sandra lynn stuff int he tags of the last post bcos if i talk about her im liable to explode. get behind me, middle-aged divorced woman proficient in archery

#wasnt around for sy as it aired but ive seen the remnants of the liveblogging and its so foul #the genuine misogyny.... #saw someone claim gilear was a better parent than her and i had to turn off my computer #i know we all love gilear and hes been tbh redeemed by comedy where sandra lynn doesnt get that #but like. be serious. #that tonal shift in difference of how gilear and sandra lynn are received is wicked interesting to me #and like pre-emptive disclaimer this isnt Gilear Problematic I Want Discourse. im just thinkin thoughts here #the way fy episode 1 gilear actively left his wife n daughter and calls her a demon even if he doesnt mean it that way #but then fig/emily takes an interest in him and from there hes a radically different character whos just kind of. pathetic. #im hesitant to call it flanderization because initial gilear only got like 10 minutes of screentime before wet cat gilear took the stage #but like. in ep1 both faeth parents are shown as equally flawed and on an even narrative playing field #which is then upset as fig latches onto gilear as a comedic force and hes not as much 'dad with tense relationship to daughter he disowned' #as 'guy the pcs do bits with'. esp in fy he doesnt do much but let fig live in his apartment sometimes #(and if u rlly wanna analyse u could say something abt her basically taking care of him instead of the other way around) #this then rlly impacts sandra lynn! bcos now fig has One tense parental relationship to rest all her angst on #and where gilear gets bits. sandra lynn really doesnt get much spotlight until the prison sequence #and the lack of focus on sandra lynn Is lampshaded in-universe and i like the resolution #and then u get to sy where sandra lynn gets as much spotlight as gilear but she doesnt have his comedic shield #so instead she has the dramatic spotlight and both the story and the characters are weirdly obsessed w her sex life #and yeah i know im an aro autist maybe i take cheating a bit lightly. but its in the same category as the 'zelda is mad at gorgug' shit #shes made a spectacle but because shes not gilear and society has notions about sex she gets judged for it #like something abt gilear disowning fig getting dropped while sandra lynn is scrutinised so much rlly rubs me the wrong way #she is FLAWED that is what THE JAIL EP WAS ABOUT!!! #she is TRYING arguably more than GILEAR but she doesnt have the absolution of rule of funny to fall back on #i go insane. i go insane #post not mentioning jy bcos i havent seen it. once again middle-aged divorced women proficient in archery get behind me ill protect u

[soapkid]

ive gotta be real im kind of losing hope for life

#it feels like it's only get worse and worse lately and i just don't know what to do man #its just like. swallowing me whole #the furure feels so fucking looming no matter what #i feel like a pathetic bum because i genuinely dont know that ill ever be able to take on longer than a 25 hour work week max #and because of how everything is im doomed to be forever dependant on someone covering so much for me #i don't feel like I'm ever going to be secure and i just. i have hopes for the future but any time i try to consider how i get there i just #it feels like everything falls apart #i know it's probably because it's 2 in the morning but i just don't have any faith in my life... #it's hard not to just. consider death sometimes i guess. I'm not actively suicidal. id hardly even say i passively am most of the time #it's just like... i don't fucking know how I'm going to make it out of this man. i feel so hopeless #...rant over

[soldier-poet-king]

Well bit the bullet and forewarned my parents about the tattoo appt so I don't just show up one day with it, but took the cowards way out and did it while they're out of town and won't be back til Friday so I don't have to face the ire as my mother cools down

#franposting #my nonna on the other hand. im just. i dont think im gonna say anything at all tbh #it just. is what it is. #maybe putting art i have craved for so long on my body #is a way of learning to inhabit myself. of autonomy. of seeing myself as a person #not just like. a use made for a specific end #yes telos has a place but also maybe my telos isnt just to exist and burn myself up for every other person's whim #out of a sense of a guilt and an apology for my own existence #maybe. idk. maybe the duty and martyrs complex is right tho #idk. idk. been thinking a lot about family lately and how everything mostly just hurts. #the good days are just. neutral. theyre good by virtue of not being actively bad #but im realizing i genuinely dont know how to care for people or relate to people properly and its just. well. hm. #that sure is a thing im gonna have to live with for the rest of my life #i feel odd and unsettled and offputting even to myself. alas. #honestly work being unfulfilling and boring is part of the problem #without concrete clear and interesting goals and tasks i lose direction and fall apart #i need to be focused on things and tasks or else I'll die. or navel gaze my way into solipsism

[clingylilhoneybee]

I am being so goddamn brave

#did I text my ex? yes #did I also finally voice all my issues #and not leave on a partial truth #that lead the way to fixing things on healing/pushing through alone #and opens up the actual ways to move forward in a healthy way no matter the outcome? #idk I think so #may fall apart a few times before then #but I think it was a really good start to handling this right #and finally work on moving past just keeping my head above water #and work to a life where I’m actively thriving #not just getting through one day after another

[ito-itonomen]

I'm gonna go ahead and climb onto the stake and light the flames myself:

I don't ship lumity.

I don't hate them, I have no active animosity towards them, but like-

I....Don't really like... teenagers. In general. Or teenage romance. Or highschool dramas. Or coming of age shows. I also don't ship huntlow. Or that one dude everyone seems to think is perfect for Gus even tho he's literally twelve and like, a baby, no matter how deep his voice has gotten.

I really only like Luz bc she's part of a found family storyline. Which is what I actually do like. And which is why I keep de-aging her in all my writing tbh. Bc teenagers r just...idk. they're too old to be cute but too young to be old.

Old people are waaaay more interesting. Specifically older women, but we ain't taking about that today bc y'all already know my thoughts on that.

In conclusion, I, Itonomen, hate teenagers, and do not ship the teenage gays, and I am willingly put this out onto the internet for all to see, more than ready to accept your rotten produce and scathing remarks as you abandon me to my fate at the stake.

#the owl house #toh #self destruction #activated #im tired and anxious and my life is falling apart anyways #might as well make some enemies

[wambsgender]

☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️STILL JOBLESS🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘🥰🥰😉😉☺️😊🥰🥰🥰STILL NO WIFI OR SIGNAL IN MY FLAT😃😃😃😃😃🥰🥰😌😌🥰😃😌🥰☺️☺️☺️🥰☺️☺️

#sorry i haven't been as active on here my life is falling apart #tedtalks!

[luciana-silentstar]

I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.

#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip- #like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao #somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways #have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+ #and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so #I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao #I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh #when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕 #chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me #this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha #on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny #off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically #my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently #ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but. #can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW #Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED #I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao #anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3 #I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj. #also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god #still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell #also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee #Dragonheart #Illusion #Brilliant Vision #Myth #Chocolate Dream #mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options #also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao #I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now

[termagax]

like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.

#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him #they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever. #like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do #and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways #they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and #they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like #they have something he needs and he has something they want #animal sir chloe style #but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass #and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it. #these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh #and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically #they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in #control + being the one who leaves #and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that #you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it. #fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there #but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle #but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more #more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point #anyways. my fishy #🐟 #they have every disease

[mamawasatesttube]

you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually

#my stance up to now has been that i don't really care about tim/ber but now that i have read this. dude... #it sucks that they gave a canon queer tim narrative to someone who uses homophobia as shock value and virtue signaling points #and who actively tears down characters who don't like her special little uwu flawless oc (kate im so fucking sorry) #there's no substance to this relationship i don't see why they even like each other #bc she keeps just stating oh they're perfect they make each other so happy but she doesn't like. show that at all #and i HATE the shock value homophobia like i cannot overstate how much i hate it #oh these random cops are homophobic (that's how you know they're BAD!) #oh bernard's parents are homophobic (that's how you know THEY'RE bad too!) #it's so hamfisted and it reads like such. cheap storytelling #especially bc tim as narrator doesn't even get to have ANY thoughts on his own queerness or seeing this homophobia in the world around him #and then she can't go more than two pages without being like BTW BERNARD IS THE BEST EVER AND TIM CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM #while against this ugly backdrop of shock value homophobia #there's no substance to this relationship. why do they even like each other. it just falls apart if you examine it at all #because she just is fundamentally incapable of writing either of them as people with character flaws #for fucks sake she can't even be consistent with tim's BASIC character tenets. ''i always dreamed of being batman'' false lmao #but then to follow it up with ''i never wanted to be batman i always wanted to be my dad'' #and then on TOP OF THAT to make the Only mention of Jack drake and his impact on tim's life ABOUT BERNARD AGAIN. #yeah sorry im a hater now. this was shit tier #rimi talks

[babygirlmickey]

cam, my infinitely talented friend, it's time for soup 'cause there's love stored in there. and i can't be normal.

NOSHO! I love & miss u!!!! and I needed this thank u!!!!

#sorry I am NOT active on this blog anymore my life has been falling apart #but I still love all my shameless friends and I miss talking to u guys sm #asks

[peachcitt]

there’s rats in my kitchen but i want something from my fridge

#peach rambles #sorry my life is falling apart and i feel the need to tell people about it #this is a good time to say that most shit under the peach rambles tag is not stuff to reply to or offer advice on #(peach stuff is a different tag with stuff i actually may care for people see) #anyway yeah ive been suspecting my house has had rats for a while but ive been. turning a blind eye to the signs because frankly that’s #just another problem for me to have to figure out how to solve and it’s always a pain dealing with my landlord so it’s like. #whatever. ya know? anyway earlier i went to get a drink from the fridge and . #there was a scrambling noise by the oven (right next to the fridge) and i looked over to see . #a rat bottom (not NOT large) squeezing it’s way up between the wall and the bottom of the microwave (a space i did not know existed) #i saw it’s feet. it’s tail. it was in fact a rat. not a mouse . alive #and then there was more scrambling sounds from behind the oven and #it’s important to keep in mind that i watched this happen in complete silence. like it didn’t take long for the rat to disappear from sight #but i definitely 1) saw the rat 2) froze in my tracks 3) watched the rat disappear 4) stood in defeated silence (w/ rat scrambling noises) #i finished my drink and want another but that means going back to the kitchen . the rats are there (they are possibly everywhere but #Rather Not. you understand) #i am going to get another drink i did text my landlord all is well. i just. don’t want to see another rat butt #anyway . if you’ve been wondering why im not very active or why i haven’t watched/talked about s5 of ml #it’s because my life is falling apart and now there are rats in my house. there may have been rats in my house this whole time #hope this helps<3

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad) #like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all