#no the kind that IS GUT WRENCHING

[harlowhockeystick]

Midnight Rain & Sidney Crosby! 🫶

meet me at midnight | contains: fem!reader, a n g s t (yk it's my jam) | "and he never thinks of me, except when i'm on tv"

i've been wanting to test this water for a while (the water of news reporter reader). i'm taking the opportunity, if you want me to rewrite i will!

sidney has done everything in his power to avoid you. you, your friends, your friends friends, your coworkers- anything that involves you, he has tried his absolute best to avoid you. but all that work for the past four months went up in flames as he sat down on his couch, and turned his tv on.

it was simple, it was out of habit. sitting down late at night, a glass of bourbon in his hand while he propped his feet up on the coffee table and turned the damn tv on. there he saw you, in your solid blue dress that he liked so much, hair straightened, red lipstick on, sitting behind the reporters desk.

you were on his tv, you might as well have been right in his living room. sidney couldn't even tell what you were saying, his gaze was so transfixed on your face, on your body, on how the camera did change some of your appearance but not all of it. for a moment, just a teeny tiny moment, a grin came on his face and he missed you.

he missed you, for just a second, he missed you. he missed the smell of your perfume and how he could smell it on his blankets. he missed how you'd always greet him with a little poke to the arm or side. he missed when you'd come in his house and go straight to the fridge to grab a drink. he missed how you would, no matter how many times he told you not to, parked a couple houses down from his. he didn't think it was safe.

but then he remembered. he remembered the pain and hurt you caused him. he remembered the pure agony and sadness he went through for a solid month; he's still going through it. the pain of the breakup of the woman he thought he was going to marry...nothing compares.

he remembered and the frown quickly went away. he hadn't thought of you in at least a few weeks and then he sees you on his tv, and now he knows he's gonna need at least three more glasses of bourbon to go to sleep tonight.

he controls himself by turning off the television and taking a deep breath. he finishes the glass that he just poured to only go make another, and another, and another. by the third glass he's huffing up the stairs with every step he takes.

sidney turns on a movie to distract his mind to go to sleep, but he's angry in his dreams too. he sees you in his dreams, and he dreams of yelling and screaming and throwing things, but he knows that in real life he could never do that. no matter how much he was hurt by you, he couldn't bring himself to do that in person. so, he does it in his dreams. where he then dreams of getting over you, but he knows that won't happen for a while.

#j's writing #j's midnights weekend #sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby x reader #sidney crosby blurb #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl blurb #hockey imagine #hockey x reader #hockey blurb #sorry guys but i love good angst okay #the kind that hurts not the kind that stings #no the kind that IS GUT WRENCHING #that's my jam #no but this might be the saddest things i wrote #hehe

[i-wanna-show-you-off]

if I ever see anyone say “I’m the number one noah fan” it BETTER be owen. Otherwise you’re wrong

because this guy. this guy spent a WHOLE EPISODE trying to get Noah to laugh and I think that dedication earns him the title. I’m also pretty sure he said he wanted to “top his honor roll” (in reference to Noah) during world tour ???? I’m not even really sure what that means but in short. owen spends so much time trying to be an important and meaningful person to noah and does everything he can to make him happy

#total drama #td owen #td noah #total drama post that ISNT about roti?? #impossible #these two are so important to me. noco could never. #could be interpreted as platonic #i guess. this is kind of queer behavior #noco fans im sorry but also. #noco is not as earth shattering and gut wrenching as these two

[rwsdarw]

Forgiveness is so badass. It’s SO EASY to be angry at someone after a betrayal but when a character is soft and understanding instead it’s so much more impressive. Anger is innate, it takes strength to be kind.

#I’m not good at writing #ranting #I read the tempest and it was gut wrenching #craziest shit that has ever happened to me #I love gentle and kind and soft people #forgiveness is beautiful #you do not deserve to live your life in rage #I REALLY don’t like when ppl make kindness a weakness in media #kindness and naivety are some of the most beautiful things about people #kindness is strong #naïveté is strong

[akiizayoi4869]

Azula and the mirror scene

Just got finished watching this scene for the first time in a long time, and I'm reminded of how in the art book, her entire breakdown is described as a "descent into madness". I'm reminded of the fact that during the commentary for this scene, the writers actually found it to be funny and just did not realize how horrible and sad this scene truly is. I'm reminded of the fact that some people in the fandom find her breakdown to be funny and "just". There is literally nothing funny about a 14 year old girl going through a fucking breakdown, cartoon character or not.

I just...

How do you LAUGH at this???

#atla #azula #azula and the mirror scene #seriously if you laughed at this gut wrenching scene #then you seriously need to take a good long look at yourself in the mirror #and ask yourself what kind of screwed up person are you to actually laugh at this and think that it's justice?

[petrenocka]

"X is just a guy" is a popular phrase to throw around these parts when talking about blorbos, but I swear, and I am 100% stone faced serious when I say this, not a single character has ever done it quite like Geralt from The Witcher books.

#sure your guy is maybe just a normal man in an unfair supernatural circumstance #but is acknowledgent of his guyhood a conclusion of a gut wrenching character study about trauma personal and generational #about the lies we tell ourselves so we can ignore the hurt we feel #did your guy spend the entire story desperately dehumanizing himself clinging to his alledged non-personhood #did he insist at every opportunity and despite an overwhelming mountain of evidence to the contrary that his torturers were successful #that they did make him into a monster without feelings without morals without future #are the people who did this to him the only family he ever had and the only people who would ever accept him now that he's this? #did they also go through the exact same process themselves do they genuinely love him on top of that? #does your guy reference his acquired infertility every time the topic of sex comes up #only to end up raising a daughter with the equall infertile love of his life? #does he defy his non human credo all the time by being unable to stop being kind an empathetic #and never acknowledges it because he can't bear thinking of himself as anything but ''a witcher''? #is he just a guy? #geralt of rivia #the witcher #the witcher books

[ghosts-of-love]

not to be mentally ill but today when i went for a walk in a nature reserve i was climbing a hill and it was cold but so so sunny and everything looked beautiful and i saw so many cool things and i stood there and was like damn what's this feeling in my chest and why am i smiling so much?? my guy,, it's called fucking happiness. i was just present and content in the moment and couldn't contain myself so kept doing the silly arm shake thing i do and grinning at everything and then was like woah what's this feeling. fuckin, happiness dude.

#think the arm shake thing might be stimming (??) i referred to it as pogging and was informed that i've been using that word incorrectly #but yeah stimming ig #the arm shakes!! we all know them... #anyway do you ever get the feeling that other people experience happiness differently to you? #idk last week i was v depressed and now ive had a couple days in a row where ive been giggling with people and ive been cuddled and kissed #and today i took myself off on a walk and i was so so happy and then as i was walking back to my car #i had the gut wrenching feeling that i needed to text my parents that i'd been outside and had a good day and saw multiple cool animals #and that i loved them. because i suddenly got really worried that i would die on the way home and no one would know i'd been really happy?? #even though id literally sent my bestie loads of photos and texts and a literal voice note while staring at a robin lol #anyway and then i was floored by the realisation that i carely deeply about whether i died or not #because i was pmsing last week and that is a terrible time for me and i end up being kind of passively suicidal ig #so to have such a big change in the space of a week was a huge shock #these tags are sooo incoherent and span so many emotions #i promise i've had a really lovely day. i just am anxious all the time and depressed sometimes #in a way that is harder to predict now my periods have stopped. #im realising this is the kind of stuff that should probably go in my diary but i've got this far with the tags that i can't be asked. #if anyone is still reading #you do not have to respond to this or like it in any way. i promise lol

[transgender-catboy]

I LOVE WHEN MEN ARE AFRAID!!!!

#gimme them being all jumpy giggly scared #it's so cute!!! #the panic #adorable!! #don't even get me started on how hot they are when they're experiencing dread #gut wrenching fear? genuine panic and confusion and terror? #that's sex to me #that moment when you see his pulse quicken. he starts to pant and sweat #his eyebrows raised as he stares up at you #either while on his kness or while desperately crawling backwards to get away from you #preferably holding a wound of some kind to try and stop the bleeding #yeah. #that's sex

[pekodayz]

i have to be a normal member of society when im out in public. i don't have anyone irl to talk abt ososan and i am so happy abt that. imagine if i spoke abt osomatsu to them for more than a mere second. the pure pain in my soul that i would endure after would be amazing

#actually gut-wrenching #“why do u like osomatsu? ^^” i feel a chill go down my spine #that kind of stuff only works online like how in the world would i be able to explain that in words that would come out of my mouth #literally look at them. wall-eyed. okay????? okay i kill u #no i dont get it. #splatoon is a different story bc. yknow these 2 fandoms r different....................

[hella1975]

i've never seen dead poets society but i've been planning to watch it during my first term at uni soon but context now suggests that would be a bad idea 😔 (@herines-harasaeon)

it would be a bad idea at any time but i cannot stress enough how bad of an idea it would be to do that during your FIRST FUCKING TERM OH MY GOD

#making ill-advised decisions just like your namesake #it is truly a beautiful gut-wrenching film and you should watch it at some point but it IS genuinely devastating and Sticks With Yiu #*You #and that’s not the kind of thing you want paired with the other shit that comes anyway during first term lmfao #ask #dps

[friedoats]

I really need to stop watching murder/crime documentaries before bed...

#its not like true crime #they're actual documentaries #gut wrenching shit #why must i have an interest in phycology #theyre so.......???bad #i didnt realize this one was gonna be so sick tho #litteraly sick #like i might have nightmares #im double checking my locks #kind of sick

[nectaric]

wowie , here's a little update for y'all since i've been mia for a while: i'm finally moved in and settled but there's a lot of little things to do that have been adding up and taking time, so i haven't spent much time writing.

i've also been focusing on other things for my health, like getting outside and eating real meals and spending time with friends and family. i've also been reading a lot more! i finished a whole book and i'm well into another, which hasn't happened in over six months at least, and years before that so!! not to mention a new book idea struck me like a train and i've been working really hard on fleshing that out so i've been busy.

i intend to write here soon, but otherwise, if you want to reach me you can add me on discord or get my insta since that where i spend most of my online time these days. <333

#i read the dragon republic which was absolutely phenomenal and gut wrenching #and now i'm reading a touch of darkness which is honestly atrocious but i'm kind of invested now #me when persephone isn't a hot big tiddie goth gf: GARBAGE #reading books like this make me realize more and more how probably ace i am because wtf #if a man randomly kissed my forehead i would not be turned on no matter how hot he was #ALSO I SAW BARBIE and needless to say i am a changed woman

[orcelito]

here with another song. this one makes me think of Vash

it's about the Exhaustion. the eternal work to keep going despite the weight on your soul. the way death can sound so sweet in comparison to the current horrors of your life... but you keep going anyways, because there are things left to do.

and you cant even let yourself show that sadness. that Fear. because it's not what's expected of you. you can't show that vulnerability to people, and so you put up a facade to hide it all away.

you're still going, you can still keep going, but you find yourself wondering how much longer this can continue.

not allowed to show it, you just keep moving on.

#speculation nation #trigun #vash the stampede #music #vash #fanny's trigun analysis #IM COUNTING IT... #honestly the way Vash doesn't hold value in his own life drives me fucking insane #we see it over and over and over again in the way he puts himself in harm's way to save people #and then we see things like. towards the end. when Legato says that Vash is *like him*. someone who doesnt see value in living #early on when Vash is contemplating to Kaite about whether it was a good thing humans landed on this planet #& his dream with Rem about wondering how people could go on living with this hopelessness... #his pursuit of Knives drives him. but beyond that? he doesn't really want to keep living. #MADE EVEN MORE CHILLING by the fact that as a child he literally attempted suicide. before Rem stopped him. #Vash is lowkey suicidal throughout the entire story. and basically his entire life. and that is just fucking gut-wrenching. #im. gonna need to make a post about that actually. a proper analysis post #Vash's lack of attachment to life & the way he keeps on living for Rem's sake alone for the LONGEST time... #and the way he finds reasons to live again in the people he loves... #kind of a digression from the original song post but i just have some fucking Thoughts about him. god. #suicide ment/ #Spotify

[hxmxgx]

Stuff I saved on pinterest about love and life and anthropology and kindness and the human experience that makes me scream cry sob throw up

#Anthropology #Kindness #Poetry #poems and quotes #It's that undescribable feeling in my stomach that is both joy and gut wrenching sorrow that I get when I read these #Shitty poetry

[catofoldstones]

I miss my parents 😔 (minato & kushina)

#father and mother #naruto #kushina uzumaki #uzumaki kushina #minato namikaze #namikaze minato #or maybe I just miss my 16 year old self #I don’t know #life is a bitch #and that kind of a summer will never come back #and I am both relieved and gut wrenched about it

[fruitlicense]

I forgot the musical Dogfight was a thing for a little bit until last night. still haven’t listened to most of it, just “Come to a Party,” “Nothing Short of Wonderful,” “First Date / Last Night,” and “Come Back,” but GOD Derek Klena and Lindsay Mendez’s voices are incredible

#I love Derek Klena so much. like. what a voice #and the fact that he and Lindsay Mendez are besties really comes through in their acting/singing and makes it so much more fun #but also I've been looping Come Back because I kind of can't fathom how gut-wrenching a song it is #dogfight musical #derek klena #lindsay mendez

[bigfishthemusical]

augh nooo today was the one year anniversary of me moving out of my parents house!! I was supposed to reread that most fucked up book my mom got me and I completely fucking forgot!!!

#well technically it’s yesterday now since it’s 1 am. but whatever. I’m a bit for real upset now #ill have to read it tomorrow (today technically) instead to make up for it. #kind of looking forward to it though. gotta see if it’s as gut wrenching and painful the second time around