#not sure if it's actually called like that in english

[rapha-reads]

Things from IWTV episode 10 (s2ep03) I noticed:

- the French is good this time! I still wonder if it's the actors themselves or dubbing. But it's actually understandable for a French-native person, and the language itself is exquisite. Wondering now if those lines are picked up from the book in Anne Rice's own pen, the translation of the books, or they're original lines written for the show by a French writer who has a splendid style.

- I just really loved the Armand flashback, both because of the language, and because it opens up the veil on the history of vampire covens throughout the centuries. Also we get to see more Lestat, this time Armand's Lestat and that's always a win.

- Armand is right about both Louis being broken and Claudia being pushed to the limits of how long she can accept this life of hers. I absolutely do not trust Armand, he's twisting the narrative for his own purpose (that I don't know because I haven't read the books yet), but still, he's a good judge of character. Can't not be one and survive for 500+ years I guess.

- the Loustat scenes, on the quai de Seine, in the bar and in the park, were insane.

- was that Sartre? Did. Did they just cameo'd in Sartre for the lols? Man, Paris.

- speaking of Paris, I know it was actually filmed in Prague, but man, I felt like I was back there. That Seine promenade, that's the one I walked countless times in my years living there. I could recognise the pavements like I was still there.

- Santiago's fed uppppp with Louis' BS. And he's definitely laughing at Claudia. Calling her "puce"... It's funny because in French, "ma puce" is a term of endearment, like "my darling", but indeed literally it means "my flea", so for an English-native like Claudia, it could be seen as literally being called the smallest, lowest member of the coven (like Delainey says in the episode insider), but for a French-native, it's like the coven is calling her sweetheart. And then they give her that dress and tell her she's going to play a kid for the bext 50 years, the one thing she hates being reminded of the most, and you go "ooooh. Oh, no, honey. They bad. This is bad." Clau's about to Break. Knowing how her story goes, I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

- Danny boy felt subdued this time. Like he's still reeling from Louis' invasion in the last episode, and now that Talamasca agent invading his laptop, he's feeling attacked on all sides and he's floundering to get back up again. That said, the scene with just him and Armand was particularly intense. You can sense how yearning Armand is, and how destabilised Daniel feels under Armand's gaze. In other words, that vampire really wanna fuck that old guy, and the old guy doesn't know how to feel about it but he's definitely feeling the intensity.

Need to read those books yesterday.

#rapha talks #rapha watches shows #interview with the vampire #iwtv s2 #amc iwtv #iwtv spoilers #iwtv no pain #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #armand the vampire #daniel molloy #claudia de pointe du lac #loustat #loumand #armand x daniel #armandiel #armandaniel #(what's the actual generally accepted ship name for these two you can't tell me there's no consensus for a canon ship #that's been in existence for actual decades?)

[seillarium]

melt my heart and claim it as yours

tl;dr. the classic 5+1 fic for my one and only love

pairings : portgas d. ace x reader

notes : mild angst (?), happy ending, no pronouns used (as far as i know) but written with fem reader in mind, no proofread, lowercase intended, a few profanities, english isn't my first language, overuse of italics lol, PORTGAS D. ACE LIVESSSS

word count : roughly 3.5k words

sincerely, sei : AAAAAARGHHH OMGOMG I FINALLY FINISHED IT ACTUALLY HOLY SH 😭😭 anyway, please lmk if there are grammatical errors, or typos, hopefully i don't fumble this, i think it's not rlly good. but to be fair, i was experimenting 😥 and how the fuck did i write 3k words??? where did that even come from

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I.

you're a new recruit of the whitebeard pirates, having been rescued from an organization that experiments on people—honestly you didn't think you'd live this long with how things were going with your life.

you were hesitant at first, meekly greeting the members of the seemingly kind pirates around you. as far as you knew, pirates were pictured as barbaric, evil, and cruel. but all that you see are warm people that see each other as family. it left a foreign feeling in your chest, one that you can't seem to decipher.

but you have only one thing in mind: do you belong here?

-

your first day on the moby dick was chaos. good chaos, you convince yourself. you were utterly overwhelmed by the amount of people, and holy fuck, did you just get a thousand siblings in less than a day??

they threw a party, for the new nakama, they said. it was heartwarming to say the least, and a small smile appeared on your face for the first time ever since you were put into that hell.

you try to put your mind into what was happening now, 'stop thinking about that, you have a new life ahead of you.' there were a lot of people introducing themselves, though you can't understand most of them. you were dragged, pushed even, as the dining area was suddenly filled. maybe the term 'barbaric' was fitting for them, after all.

the first to approach you one on one was the first division commander; marco. he had checked if you were doing alright, and all you did was smile and nod—biting your tongue, trying not to mention how you think he looks like a pineapple.

the second would be thatch, he was a tad drunk drunk and his mind is cooked. his flirtatious words were slurred. he called you multiple names, he claimed that your smile is quite fetching. you weren't really affected, he is amusing, though.

a few more approached you, some just greeting briefly, some were inviting you to drink (you didn't, the taste of alcohol is shit anyway), and some just gave you a warm "welcome to the crew!"

they sure are a rowdy bunch, you think, as you were leaning on the railing. then another person approached you. he leaned on the railing next to you, copying your position.

when you finally looked at him, your mind short-circuited for a moment. the mysterious man was certainly attractive. he's topless, that's what stupefied you for a second. not that you never saw any other guy who walks without any shirt—this one just has a nice figure, definitely easy to look at.

"hey there! you're the new recruit, yeah? my name is portgas d. ace, it's nice to meet you."

his voice startled you, whoops, you're staring, how inappropriate. he's bowing politely, and it baffled you for the nth time today because; what is this, a pirate crew whose motto is 'we're different from other pirates'?! you had never met a pirate this polite your whole life. you ought to pinch yourself; maybe this is a silly dream after all.

"hello? earth to you, er.." he waved a hand to your face, only then did you look to his face. great, so you were looking at his open tits first?

"(name). it's nice to meet you." you greeted back with a small smile, and he grinned. oh, he looks so... kind. you felt your heart thump—or did it actually stop?

"(name), huh? what a pretty name for a pretty face." oh, cheeky. he's got a coy grin on his lips now. he's like thatch, then. but he succeeded to make you blush slightly.

"thanks...?" wow, way to go! you honestly didn't know what to reply, given that you were locked up for about 5 years with almost no social interaction with others.

he didn't seem to mind, in fact, he looked pleased at your answer. though, he did seem to notice your uncomfortable shift. he props his elbow to the railing, resting his cheek on his hand. "you're adorable."

and your mind clogged again, face exploding into a deep red as you furrowed your eyebrows, forming a confused expression. he seems sober, and he says it like he means it. the temperature just skyrocketed, must be from how flushed your cheeks are.

he laughed at your expression, and you found yourself liking the carefree sound and his boyish grin. he gazed at your eyes again, slightly pink cheeks and a grin that screams mischief. more compliments spill from his mouth. looks like you're in for an embarrassing night.

-

once the night ended, ace slapped a hand on his mouth, his cheeks flushed—fuck, his shoulder's on fire. he was mesmerized by you, thus, the sudden compliment escaped him. he didn't mean to, but with your reaction? oh he wanted more. he honestly thought flirting would be a good way to take your mind off of things, thank god he didn't fumble. such a miracle you didn't notice how his back was on fire the whole time...

II.

weeks had passed since you became a whitebeard pirate. you learned a lot of things. one, you were living under a rock, literally and figuratively. the lab that you were once in was underground. you've been there since you were 15, causing you to lack knowledge about the recent happenings in the outside world.

two, it was hard to keep up and remember each of their names. your overwhelmed brain is turning into mush at this point, thankfully they're kind enough to say their names over and over again for you.

three, ace. that's it, ace. you learned that he's some kind of lost dog. trailing you everywhere you go, not that you're complaining. honestly if he wasn't sticking to you, you'd be sticking to him.

there's this magnetic pull that drags you to him, seems like you couldn't resist his warm nature. like a moth to a flame you were attracted to him. and you feel yourself burn, not in a bad way—like you were succumbing to his very fire and you think you'll be fine as ashes if it meant you'd be closer to him.

but it's like, his fire flickers when you move forward. he let's you near, but never close. it's like you know him, but you can't get a grasp on what he's thinking at times. like he's keeping you at arm's length.

that does not stop the flirting, though.

"hey, I'm lost, can you give me directions to your heart?"

"if you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."

"aren't you tired? you've been running through my mind all day."

you're becoming a puddle of goo, it just gets embarrassing to the point you can't even form words.

"hey, (name), do you have a pen and a paper?" he suddenly approached you as you were walking around the ship. you shook your head 'no', surprised he's not making moves today.

"damn, no pen, no paper, yet you still draw my attention." he said with a shit-eating grin and a wink. "...."

"wait! (name)!!"

III.

a day alone with ace in a strange island is absolute havoc. you wonder how it's possible for one person to destroy half of a forest. well, to be fair, he is fire.

"are you a dumbass?!" you screeched, running away as fast as you can while a strange lion goes after you both. ace tried to pet it, you almost did too and out of a sudden everything went haywire.

"i didn't know it would be immune to fire!!" he screeched back, holding your wrist and practically dragging you.

"why the hell did you even try and pet a wild lion in the first place?!"

-

you're now sitting by a bonfire, lit by yours truly. you hug your knees to your chest, watching as the fire dances in the air.

the lion incident has passed, finding out it's actually frightened by water. you crossed a river and found a hilltop—which is where you are right now.

"you still cold?" he asked, sitting next beside you.

"kind of," not really, you're not exactly freezing, you just want more. of him, preferably.

he scooted closer, your shoulders touching. and heat immediately seeps through you. and for a moment you just relished his body temperature.

then the next thing you knew, your whole being was enveloped by his warmth. his arms looped on your waist, his head resting on your shoulder. he sent you a smile, and god, everything about him is warm.

"are you a campfire? because you're hot and i want s'more." and just when you though you could sit in peace.

"ace, you're literally the hot one between the two of us." you answered, exasperated to your wits' end. "aww, you think I'm hot?" you didn't know if you want to slap the smirk off his face or bury yourself 6 foor under.

"n-no?! i mean, you are, literally—" his grin widens. "y-you know what i mean!! and I'm cold.."

"think i can make your heart melt?" oh he did. you sighed, does he really mean all of this? you never really gave him replies, not that you could even form words with how your brain turns into a puddle when he throws you the most cheesy ass pick up line ever. where does he even gets all of these?

"Is it chilly out, or is that just the chill you send down my spine every time I see you?" a scoff escaped you. "it's cold right now."

"well, thank god i brought some socks, you're giving me cold feet." he said rathed dramatically, his body sagging against yours.

"do you really mean all of this?" you asked out of the blue. is he just messing with you? is he really gonna burn you after all? maybe his flames would just combust your lonely heart to oblivion, then leave it to heave in the remaining smoke.

"of course." he replies almost immediately, his eyes seeking yours. sincerity swam in his dark orbs, a soft yet genuine smile on his lips. oh. maybe he was just trying to cradle you with his warmth, after all.

-

he takes a mental note to take this more seriously. thus, you didn't fail to notice how his lines were a bit more genuine, it still has a hint of playfulness—but everytime he looks into your eyes, it seems as though he's swallowing each emotion in them, fully drowning in you with those obvious lovesick orbs.

IV.

the night was cold, so was your heart. thatch had died, murdered by the hands of his own family. his own nakama. you sat on your bed, blank eyes staring to the window. it was pouring, as if the clouds were affected by the loss. the raindrops fell harder and harder, jut like the pounding in your chest as his death sinks in.

there were sudden knocks on your door. you didn't have to sit up, you knew who it was. "come in.." you croaked, voice breaking slightly.

the door opened and revealed a disheveled ace. he was quiet as he invited himself in, the familiar scent of your room filling his senses. "hey.." he greeted, yet it lacked the familiar warmth he always held. it was replaced by the bitter cold, gnawing at his insides.

"hey, you." despite his state, you felt warm. everytime the pirate comes into view, your heart is immediately filled with fervor. sparks surging through your veins.

ace wordlessly sat down beside you, head hung low and you know why. "I'm going to kill teach." he muttered, his resentment surfacing with each passing second.

"what?" you gaped, and you don't know whether to let him go or not. you weren't sure if the awful pit on your stomach was something worth noting. before you could speak further, his voice cuts into the air. sharp and determined.

"and you can't do anything to stop me." and for the first time ever, he made you cold. unpleasant shivers went down your spine and your heart dropped to the depths of doubt. and before you know it, protests escapes your lips while you shake him. it's unsettling, how you're holding onto him yet he's so cold.

"i don't care if it's dangerous, he killed thatch, he betrayed his own!" he raises his voice, but you can't find it in yourself to even flinch, still seeking that certain fire in his eyes. it's there, it's ignited, but not the kind of flame that you're looking for.

"i just... didn't want to leave without telling you goodbye." he mumbled, voice softening significantly.

"are you saying this will be the last time I'll see you?" you can't ignore it anymore, tears are stinging your eyes.

".... i—" he hesitated, breath hitching. "of course not, I'll come back for you."

for you.

his words rang in your ears, he sounds so genuine yet so full of doubt. and as your gaze on him lingers, all you could see is a lost boy, his judgement crumbling right before your eyes.

"come back alive, okay? I'll wait for you." you told him with such warmth and affection, your hand cupping his cheek.

at that moment, he looks like he'll break, your warmth seeping through his freckled cheek and straight through his heart and soul. it felt so surreal for him, he's made of fire, but it feels as though you were burning him.

"i don't know, it's like you're already killing me here, 'cause you took my breath away."

sigh.

V.

you're on fire.

not literally, but it may as well be with how you can feel the intense determination and fear in your bones. you stood near pops, the tense atmosphere wafting through the thick air in marineford.

ace is there, at the execution grounds—chained, bruised, bloodied, and regretful. you could see him clearly, yet he feels so far away.

and once the war started, you did your best to avoid the attacks sent to you, sprinting straight towards ace. you knew it was futile, the marines surrounding him far too strong compared to you. but you can't stop.

I'm coming for you, ace. the rapid thumping of your heart is all that you could hear, ignoring his desperate pleas of 'don't come here! it's not worth it!'

ace, ace, ace. you repeat his name in your head like a mantra. ace, ace, ACE. you creamed this time, voice breaking.

you legs stopped once you saw the dark hair of a young boy—screaming his lungs as he calls for his dear brogher, along with the intense surge of his haki. you weren't weakened by it, but you felt a sense of relief as he ran through the sea of marines ready to take his life.

instead of heading to ace, you sprinted to the boy—luffy, you assumed based on the countless stories from his brother. you helped fight off anyone in his way, putting all your trust in him.

you watch as he somehow freed ace. in awe as they fought alongside together, having perfect harmony.

you could only watch as he finally ran, straight to were you and the others were. and you felt so light seeing him, alive and well.

yet, you could only watch, as he was provoked by admiral akainu. you could only scream at him to stop, to just let it go. but of course you knew it was pointless. he's ace, he'll never let anyone dare to throw dirt on the name of his savior. he wouldn't let anyone insult the man who kindly called him as his son.

and thus, you could only watch as magma seeped through his chest. the ring in your ears eating up all your sanity, you couldn't even hear nor feel as the others dragged you away—unaware that you were running to him again.

you only watched as he whispered words to his brother, hugging him helplessly.

then everything became a blur.

VI.

the morning birds chirped, or was it the seagulls handing out the newspapers? nonetheless, the light from the window indicates that a new day is starting.

a new day, as you sat next to ace's bed. you never left his ever since you woke up. his organs were ruined, and you wonder how marco and the others had healed him.

but you didn't care about how. all you could ever care about is ace. he's alive. still, he's yet to wake up.

it's been a week, the familiar routine of sitting next to his bed was slowly embedding in your mind. you want nothing more than to see his eyes again, to see that bright smile that makes you think that the sun was nothing but an irrelevant orb up in the sky.

his chest was filled with bandages—another reminder of an ugly memory. you stared at him solemnly, fingers tracing his freckled cheeks.

then he stirred, and you flinched. your mind went blank. the gears in your head only turned once he gazed at you with those pretty eyes—effectively pulling you into the depths of your emotions.

"why are you crying?" were his first words, his voice was strained, his throat dry. only then did you realize everything was blurry.

"y-you—!" clutching his arm almost desperately, you found yourself crumbling in front of him. "you said you'd come back alive!"

"but i am alive." he said matter-of-factly.

"what if you died?!" honestly, you didn't know nor cared if you were making a point. all you did was sob his name over and over again, you arms coming up to wrap around his neck. crying as the man stroked your unkempt hair.

"...is this real?" he then asked, and the doubtful tone you once heard was at it again. you looked into his eyes, witnessing a broken man who looked as though he couldn't believe what has happened. "I'm actually alive?"

"of course you are! you're here, ace. you're fine." you said, partly to yourself, but mainly to him who looks like he'll break you with how he's holding you.

"you're alive. thank god you're alive, ace." and he cries. he cries and sobs and you don't know what else to do but to hold him.

"do i deserve to live? do i really deserve to survive?" and you felt your own tears falling. he sounds so broken, so lost, so doubtful.

you didn't question why he was asking that, rather, you cupped his cheeks and stared lovingly in his eyes.

"you do, ace." was all you have to say. was all he needed to hear. it won't be easy to remove those thoughts, no. but for now, it was enough.

"yeah?" he sniffled, a lopsided grin on his lips. you kissed his tears away, as he closed his eyes in bliss.

"yeah."

he grinned from ear to ear, and you returned it. and you both sat there, just giggling to each other.

"can i borrow your sunglasses? i can't stare at you too much 'cuz you're hotter than the sun." instead of laughing or blushing like you always do, your eyes softened.

"really? your eyes must be weak then. i can stare at you for hours." and before he could even so much as react, you continued.

"you know, you're like the sun. so bright, so warm. and every time i see you, i don't know whether i should bask in you or to hide because you burn me. god, you set my heart on fire, ace. and i don't care if i turn into ashes as long as i can be beside you all the time." you finished, staring at him like a lovesick fool.

he was out of words, his face exploding in a bright red and you wondered how much restraint he has right now to not burst into flames on the spot. he gaped at you as you stared at him like he hung the stars in the sky.

"i love you." he muttered. now you were the one rendered speechless. no words can express how he makes you feel. and you all but grinned, giddy and drunk off of the feeling of his love.

"i love you too." and before you two could lean in and share that sweet sweet kiss, the door opened and you saw the half of the crew falling down from their pile. looks like they've been eavesdropping.

and they didn't even had any shame as they cheered, chanting 'kiss, kiss, kiss!' loud screams of jovial voices filled the cabin once you two actually did.

familiar warmth seeped through your body and cradled your heart. and you had an epiphany at that moment: you belong here, right at this very moment, forever and more.

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ps. : NAHHH CAN YALL TELL I GOT LAZY AT THE END im sorry it took so long i procrastinated for like 2 days 🙏 thank you for reading!!

taglist : @captainportgasdace @malxoxo (there's so many of yall who liked my previous post, my lazy ass could never, i might tag yall later tho if i get my energy back <33)

#portgas ace x reader #portgas d. ace x reader #fire fist ace #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace #ace x reader #op ace x reader #ARGGGHH I CANT BELIEVE THIS #where did those 3k words come from? definitely not from my lazy ass #sincerely‚ sei

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - Not Enough Part 5/6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary - Reader is excited to meet Dominik's parents but is shocked to find out that they are very prejudiced and do not approve of her.

Enjoy!

Székesfehérvár wasn't as bad as you initally thought. It was nice spending time with Dominik and his family in the little community he called home. Seeing how happy he was simply melted your heart. You spent the afternoon attending his little brother's football game, cheering him on. Dominik cheered the loudest as he was so proud to see Benedek play football again. The passion for the game definitely ran in the family, with Dominik's parents insisting that all of you celebrate the match win with a nice dinner at a lovely restaurant in town.

"Mikor jön Laura?" (When is Laura coming?)

"Bármelyik percben anya." (Any minute mom.)

Although you enjoyed spending time with them it was really hard to connect with Dominik's parents. The language barrier was simply too braud, and having Dominik act as a translator only reminded you of how braud the barrier actually was.

You felt left out, simply put. You sat at the dinner table struggling to keep up with the rapid-fire conversation around you. A fucking waste of Dualingo streaks, you thought.

"Hey?" Dominik squeezed your hand under the table, having caught your drifting gaze. "You good?"

"Sure, I'm fine." You smiled, a fake smile. However, you found comfort in the way Dominik kept caressing your hand under the table. It made you look forward to tonight, when he would sneak into your room again, like a horny teenager.

Dinner went on. Just as you were about to excuze yourself and head to the ladies restroom, Dominik's family shot up to their feet when a young woman approched your table.

"Laura!" They exclaimed.

You looked to Dominik who chuckled at your visible confusion. "It's my sister, Laura."

Like her brother's, Laura's hair was yet black and her eyes brown but bright. Her height also surpassed everyone in her family as she took turns embracing them.

"Nikki!" She exclaimed. "My baby brother is home!" They hugged each other tightly. "And you brought someone." She gasped at the sight of you. "A special someone?"

"Yes, Laura. Please meet my girlfriend, Y/N."

"I knew it!" His sister smiled. "I knew it since our last phone call. You must be Y/N, the singer."

"The what now?"

Not to mention that Dominik's sister was gorgeous, she spoke perfect English as well. Heat rose to your face just shaking her hand.

"The singer!" She nodded. "I was in a call with my brother not too long ago, when I heard a lovely voice singing in the background. When I asked Nikki who it was he refused to tell me, rushing to hang up the phone."

"You did?" You turned to Dominik, a bit taken aback by the fact.

"I did not!" He defended.

"Don't lie Nikki. How come you've never introduced me to Y/N before?"

A really good question. You stared Dominik down in the same way his sister did.

"Well, because..." He stammered.

"Yes?"

He struggled to find an answer and settle with saying, "later is better than never, no?"

"Men." Laura sighed and pulled out a chair to sit beside you. Dinner resumed with Dominik's family going at it again, speaking Hungarian, the words going over your head. Laura must have notice that you were struggling because she too squeezed your hand under the table and leaned over to whispered in your ear. "Don't worry, I'll translate everything for you," she said with a smile.

A wave of relief washed over you once you realized that you had found a friend in Laura. With her help, you could fully participate in the conversation around the table, for once feeling apart of Dominik's family.

However there was one incident....

Aftet dinner as you and Dominik's family left the restaurant, you wandered onto the street, stumbling on your high heels. You reached for Dominik's arm to support you, however he flinched at your touch, causing you to hit the ground and bruise your knees.

"Oh, my God Y/N, are you alright?"

Dominik's sister was the first one to come to your aid, not Dominik, nor his family for that matter.

"Ügyetlen lány." (Clumsy girl.) His mother muttered, looking down on you like a piece of trash along the gutter.

That night you lay awake, waiting for Dominik to come to your room, but for some reason he never came. You wanted to speak to him about his strange behavior towards you, not to mention his mother's shady comment. It was unfortunate that this had been the only time during your visit that you were able to interpret her thick accent. What else could she have been saying about you?

Not able to wait until morning, you got up and left you room. You walked down the dark hall on your way to see Dominik when hushed voices made you pause mid step.

"Are you crazy?" The voice of Laura hissed. "She doesn't deserve this Dominik and you know that."

"I know, I know, but anya and apa will...."

"For God's sake, they won't disown you for being in love Nikki. Even I know that you don't choose who you fall in love with. Have some faith that so will mom and dad."

The voices were coming from downstairs. You stood on the top step of the staircase, fighting back tears. Dominik's next words didn't make feel better either.

"Forget it Laura. I'm not gonna rebel against them like you've done. Mom and dad deserves to be shown some respect for all they've done for us."

"And Y/N, doesn't? Dominik they think she's your personal assistant for God's sake."

You stumbled. A loud thud echoed throughout the quiet house. The voices downstairs fell silent for a moment.

"Benedek?"

You slapped a hand against your mouth, slowly backing away. However, shadows emerged from below.

"Benedek, you shouldn't be up this late, mom and dad will..."

Laura's eyes widened at the sight of you, crouch down on the top of the staircase. "Y/N.....you're awake?"

Dominik appeared behind her, equally surprised to see you, shimmering tears in your eyes.

"Y/N, please let me..."

You shook your head. "Don't."

"Please Y/N, let me..."

"I said DON'T!"

Dominik made the effort to climb the stairs but fell back two steps as you held out a trembling hand.

"I'm going upstairs to pack my bags." You said, voice trembling. "I'm taking the car and I'm going back to get the rest of my things in Budapest."

"Y/N please, you can't..."

"No Dominik, you can't....be serious right now. All this time you've lied to me and to your parents."

"Y/N, perhaps if we could all sleep on it...."

"Laura please." You said, feeling for his sister need to defended her brother. "I'm leaving. Tonight. " You stood, peering down on Dominik. "Without you."

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

#fanfiction #football imagine #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #football angst #dominik szoboszlai #dominik szoboszlai imagine #dominik szoboszlai x black reader #dominik szoboszlai x reader #liverpool fc

[hey-i-am-trying]

So, as someone who was watching the stream and watches many of Roiers specifically, but is not Hispanic, first it was clear from when the admin logged on it was someone different than who had been (07) for almost a week. After a bit of the admin playing as a more solitary egg and more standoffish, they told roier to "leave them alone", then roier tried talking with them and explaining how things had been during the week (him trying to explain stuff lore and week events Roier & pepito had)

the admin then said, "You smell like ass too, you son of a bitch. No one asked you"

After Roier let the admin leave to do whatever, after spending at max 30 minutes together, he was clearly uncomfortable being called things, especially by someone he had had no interactions with. He did his own things for a little bit longer.

But afterwards, Aldo, who was watching, spoke about how it wasnt okay specifically. Many tripoiers were thinking Roier would scold chat the next stream, for speaking out against how this admin was acting, but he didnt just. And then later said that they day just wasnt canon anymore. So many believe, he personally reached out to the admin team or Q about it.

From what has been explained to me, by Hispanic friends and other fans, the main issue is that this was obviously said in an insulting manner to Roier, but even if they were trying to "rp" or jokingly say it this admin had 0 relationship with Roier prior to this. Saying these things out of nowhere is never okay and was not okay.

And saying the reason they acted this way was because they were sick and Roier spoke too fast, which aggravated the situation?

And their "apology"? " i never realized that it wasnt in rp that you were uncomfortable "? But they had been online seeing the things said about the situation?

Thank your for explaining! I was no aware it was this bad! It is not anyone else 's place to forgive the admin but Roier, so really I can't say much.

It was definetly rude, and while I will again say we can't make a judgement of a complete person for a moment, in my opinion Roier deserves a better apology.

I can't go inside the admin's mind and say for sure if they meant what they say in rp or not, because I had in the past stumble on social norms like a train rack and I get it not realizing how rude you are sounding in the moment. But again, I would apologize after I realize how I acted.

And about not seeing the posts online, I can't say for sure. I will give an example of a situation I actually saw unfold and why assume that someone saw posts, not metter how "viral" it was or how many they were, is honestly a bad idea.

When Empanada was first introduced, there was a sever moment of hesitation in the brazilian qsmp community, Bagi was one of the most active brazilian players and people liked to go to her stream to just have a portuguse speaking player to listen, but since Bagi has become Em's mom, she barely would speak portuguse and would mostly talk in english with her.

Some brazilians fans expressed very politely why they were feeling bad with this situation, explaining how it made them feel like they were "losing" a portuguese speaker, and in a smp where the principle was having the ccs being able to speak their native languages, it felt like their language was being side line again.

At the same time, they were people not so politely saying what a dumb decision was to give a german egg to a brazilian cc, that they should kill Empanada or fire her admin and hire a brazilian admin for the role.

Bagi's and Em's admin saw the rude posts and not the polite ones. So when they decided to talk about in stream, Bagi was obviously furious about it and was very harsh.

That generated a lot of hate to them and especially to Em because believe that was their answear to the polite posts.

Bagi later read the more polite thread and talked about it in a calmer manner, her and Empanada try to use more of the translator to speak in their respective languages.

I know this feels like a unrealed rant at the end, but I wanted to just give an actually example of how making assumption of what people saw or did not saw is kinda useless and even harmful because we can not actually be sure about it, yes they metion the twitter posts on their letter, but who knows what tweets they actually saw.

Coming back to the situation. They said they are an autistic person, which while not an excuse to be an asshole to someone, can explain losing the grasp social norms, and being unware of what was crossing rp lines, that happens. Not an excuse but an explanation, they are an adult and after understanding they were rude they should have apologize properly.

Life is a bit more complicated than black and white, being an asshole once to somebody doesn't mark them as an asshole for the rest of their lives, I hope the admin can get something out of this situation and learn, hopefully they will reach out to Roier to say sorry.

#qsmp #qsmp discourse #pepitoadmin #otipep #<- i guess that is a better tag for the situation?

[madelynhimegami]

To my knowledge, you like Puyo Puyo! But what do you enjoy most about it?

Honestly, it might be easier to explain my intoduction to the series. Ideally we'll get there in the end either way. You ever seen one of those "What I Played/What I Expected/What I Got" memes? My story is pretty much like one of those.

I don't remember when I started learning bits and pieces about it, or when Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine went from being itself to a Puyo game in a trenchcoat in my mind. But by mid 2017 I knew the aforementioned (I called the CPZ boss in Sonic Mania a Puyo boss on twitter when I played it), recognized Carbuncle, recognized Draco Centauros (thanks to a friend who is still a big fan of her), and had heard that there was some sort of story to it, but didn't know a lot of details.

Then in September of 2017, a friend of mine mentioned that he had been playing Puyo Puyo Tetris lately as his go-to "pick up and play" sort of game. I looked it up in the eshop, saw it was cheap, and thought a pick-up-and-play game was what I needed and bought it. Not that I knew shit about playing Puyo well, but I at least had some basic competency at Tetris to balance things out.

And hey, at least the story mode would be a good way to learn! So I dove in to the story and started playing.

I was expecting the story to be inconseqential to my enjoyment of the game. Something either generic or corny, with characters that ranged from "tolerable" to "painful anime cliche."

The thing that knocked me on my ass almost immediately was that the writing was actually funny, made better with the English cast's fantastic delivery.

Those are all from just the story's first chapter! The first one is from the prologue! The other two are from the third scene (couting dialogue before and after a round of gameplay together as one scene)! And it kept going!

For the record, even though I was picky with what to include, and stitching lines from the same scenes together, I still had almost fifty (50) funny moments I wanted to drop out of context, in a game with a rough total of two hours of story material collected to write this post. And then I had to narrow it down further just so I wouldn't hit the image limit too quickly.

Was it a little corny and awkward at points? Sure. Several voice actors had to grow into their roles. Plus, the impression I always had from the script-- an impression that's only gotten stronger the more I learn about this series and then come back to this game-- is that someone on the development team was not expecting this to be all that successful overseas. And not for no reason, since Puyo Puyo's tried to get its foot in the door in the west several times by this point. But the end result of this lack of faith was a localization team that tried very hard to make this game stand on its own merits with as little understanding of the games that had come before as possible. Which, honestly I think they did a pretty dang good job of! Especially since it didn't shy away from the hard-hitting stuff when it came. Which I'm going to intentionally leave even further out of context so as to not give away all of it.

There was also this line here, which was what first clued me in that the writing's quality wasn't an accident, that the writer is actually thinking all this stuff through:

Fun fact, the only people you will see in your dreams are people you have seen while you're awake. The parts of the brain responsible for dreams can't make up new faces, or throw together composites of preeviously-known ones. Hence, this question, which does in fact get answered in the next scene, in a way that made me go, "Ohhh, that's really smart, actually!"

But yeah. That was just this one game. It took me a few more years before I tried other games that had been translated, fan or otherwise, but the more I've played and the more I learn about these characters and their worlds, the more engrossed I get. It's a hyperfixation now. It seems like there's always something new I'm learning about it, but it's not overwhelming, it just feels like I'm knowing a good friend better and better. The modern artstyle is deceptively simple and very endearing, and so many of the characters are interesting and fun. And the current writer is just so galaxy-brained, I'm not even kidding.

The characters in the Puyo Puyo series are all morons. They're all crazy. But at the end of the day, they care about each other, no matter how little they want to admit it. And they all have their own theming to the magic they use. It's a lot of fun. From your standard-fair RPG spells, to cosmic forces, to math terms,

I can't recommend this series enough, no matter what your skill level with puzzle games is! There's something in it for everyone.

Unless you're looking for genuinely evil characters, I guess. Like, there are characters that are intimidating or sinister or threatening, but almost none of them are actually evil. Fraid the closest to that this series has is a(n as-of-now) gender-ambiguous Elon Musk with better hair in the Japan-excusive gacha game.

Further reading from the author (that isn't already on their tumblr):

[1]

[2]

[3]

#puyo puyo #puyopuyo #puyo #puyo posting #ask the princess

[notcryingtoday]

some other poses cause i love them so much

(forgvie the low quality)

#drawing #living model #diary #pastel #white pastel #black stone #not sure if it's actually called like that in english

[romance-rambles]

would just like to confess my undying love for this particular shot of ayn

#rambles by aya #lovebrush chronicles #ayn alwyn #lbc ayn #lovebrush ayn #every other day i am one step away from embracing the red name in me #in the days between clarence calls dibs btw #i think it's the way he's looking i'm pretty sure it's an average stare but every time i see it #i have one (1) question and it is: “why are they smouldering?” #<- i have also been informed that the “u” is british spelling but i was half-raised on british english so i do not care #i also don't think it's an actual true smoulder it's just the first word that comes to mind when i see him #i don't even think “bedroom eyes” fits but like he's doing stuff to me #legitimately the hottest dude there and he has some sizable competition #he's just eating that popsicle so seductively??? #ALSO HIS ARMS?? #did not think i cared about arms but?? LOOK AT HIM?? #STILL have not gotten this pictura when will sunday come

[queerofthedagger]

everyone's always like "ohh writing research is so incriminating pls fbi man in my phone don't think the wrong thing aha"

meanwhile, my writing research:

pov you're writing fucking. stranger things fic. sigh

#mona rambles #hands-down my writing research is less incriminating than like. other reasearch :joysob: #also good grief the amount of shit that makes me go 'uhhh' #like. i'm an early 90s baby this is just. hmm. yeah #💀💀💀 #like i have vague ideas of stuff and its time period but it's uhhh #I'm ALSO not from the US #and I am having a TIME with US/UK English (derogatory) #anyway it's fine i'm fine i'm having FUN (sobbing) #next fandom's gonna be german. fucking #west virginia and indiana and medieval fucking britan i am DONE #(who am i kidding i'm a goddamn nerd who enjoys this shit) but also just ONCE!!! I'd like to not think oh hash browns #I'm sure that's like. brownies! cause we do actually call brownies/edibles 'hasch brownies' in german #turns out it's?? POTATO????? LIKE WHAT #Good god #IGNORE ME #English (derogatory) etc etc

[radelenagreco]

i'm #newtoradblr i've spent so much time these past two weeks scrolling through radfem blogs i knew i had to make an actual radfem side of tumblr blog for my own sanity. the way i "peaked" is kinda funny 3-4 months ago i liked a radfem post without realizing and all of a sudden i had other radfem posts recommended to me by the algorithm and i was so annoyed because i was very anti-terf etc but for a couple days i read through a bunch of radfem blogs and it was actually such a relief to encounter FEMINISM not some watered down version of it but i felt guilty due to 5+ years of conditioning (and also because i had a nonbinary friend sitting right next to me in class as i was doing this) and i also didn't like the prominent use of the word moid? but anyway, 3 months later, i'm not sure why but the mra nature of the trans movement has grown so much more apparent to me i have like three mutuals who are trans men on my other blog and i would find myself rereading the few feminist posts i would reblog/write because these people are literally reblogging shit like "don't think like a terf. men aren't your oppressors, they're your friends/neighbors/brothers/fathers. if you think that any man could harm you you have been fooled by terf rhetoric" like actual morons/meninists. anyway two weeks ago i saw a post made by someone i knew was a radfem on my twitter tl and i don't know why i knew i was ready i went through her blog and through many others and now here i am.

#still dislike the word moid i know it's in response to 4chan people saying shit like femoid but it reads too much like a racist slur for me #to be cool with people saying it #i don't mean it reads like a racist slur towards men i mean it's way too reminiscent of the word negroid #it really made me think people were right about radical feminism being a gateway to being a conservative because...it literally feels #racist to me lmao i don't think i'll ever like it #gonna go follow the few blogs i followed on my main + others now #and i was actually always pretty radical in my feminism i was never what one would call a libfem i just wasn't A RadFem because i was into #the whole trans thing #it's different when you're not on tumblr/not exclusively interacting with trans people on the internet. people taking such an issue with #feminism and claiming that its most basic aspects (men oppress women) are transphobic and terf rhetoric is really only a thing on tumblr #and in those circles it's especially different when you're not talking in english #and i'm pretty sure everyone i follow on twitter supports trans people but the mra nature of trans right activism just has not hit them the #way it has hit tumblr they're still very normal about feminism it's actually so nice to go there and say i hate men with no caveat #the only people who would bother me if they came across my tweets saying that would be: cis men misogynists and people on the far right in #general #crazy that on tumblr it's the most leftist people i'd have to worry about hahaha... #ipost

[wonder-worker]

people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?

#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen #no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?) #Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty #Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it. #obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't #But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!” #is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying. #Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status #her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier #the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all #siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen #Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her #that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do #like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her #and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented #no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard #(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..) #ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth #because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century #both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country #yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time #and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians) #Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers #who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression #queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status #yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this #so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties? #why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism') #after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support #and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.

[disdaidal]

So I think I'm finally getting a contract and I'm going to start my new studies (as a youth/school counselor) in my old school. I met the principal today and had a talk with him, and he said he was pleased to see me there and would like to have me there because I already know my way around and seemed to manage things just fine when I was still their student. So, that's great, I'm finally getting somewhere.

But I'll have to wait until Friday because he's still not quite sure who's going to be my supervisor, so he's going to have a talk with a couple of staff members about it at first.

And then my teacher in my new school is already pressing me with contract matters and stuff, wanting me to start earlier than I had originally planned or at least get the contract done by then, so uhh. I'm going to have a Teams meeting with her on Friday at 8 o'clock in the morning (I'm not a morning person at all), and I'm sure we're going to have such a lovely discussion about my schedule and study plans and all that stuff.

All this phone-calling and paperwork is giving me a headache. And I still have some school assignments to do and to return before next week, and guess what - ya girl just wants to read and write fanfiction all day and all night. 🤪 Priorities, I has them.

#personal #no seriously i went to bed around 4am because i was writing a fic. and then i got up at 8:30 after snoozing the clock for an hour #because i had the appointment with the principal around 10am so #but anyway despite my poor sleeping schedule i am actually happy about this opportunity #i should be able to work in the evenings if they can just find me a supervisor. which would be super because then i'm not going to have to #wake up early. unless i get a side job because i need money and this is only training so i don't get paid for it. but remains to be seen #i am not feeling awfully energized for school/work combination right now so uhh #but then i'd also get to work as a special needs assistant because this school has a lot of special needs students #so that sounds pretty good actually. it was something i was also thinking about doing before #because i was kind of a special needs student myself when i was younger and i didn't get the help i needed so #helping others with that could be great. a great opportunity indeed #and i may have to help with this other type of class as well #i think they're calling it preparatory education for vocational training in english. i'm not 100% sure what it even means #but well if i get a chance then perhaps i'll find outl #so all in it sounds like they have need for me and i get to do a lot of different stuff so. it should be good #it's. just this. studying itself. and like i said. all this paperwork and making phone calls and stuff. it's stressing me out #so uh #let's just hope that friday makes me a little bit wiser

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

yesterday i was thinking that if i don't get into any phd program by the end of the year and i switch to focusing on studying oposiciones to work at a museum i will try and learn some catalan to get the c1.

#basically my plan for next year is: if i get into the phd i will be living abroad which is scary but i'll be doing a phd which :) #if i don't. i will try to get into a phd next year but that will become my plan b #my plan a will become studying oposiciones and going to conferences / writing papers / studying languages / anything to engross my cv #i was thinking of also trying to get the official tour guide license so i can work as that in the meantime but for what i saw in madrid #the last call for the exams to get it were in 2017. so that's fun #i'll also want to try another official language exam. probably french cause that's the language i know most after english. #and then. i could also try and get the c1 of catalan cause i don't mind moving to another autonomous community to work in a museum #like i am open to state autonomic and local museums. they just have to be historical / ethnological / archaeological #my dream would actually be to work at centros de interpretación in archaeological sites but i don't know if they fall under the 'museum' #denomintation or if they are another thing i'd had to study for #and a c1 in catalan opens up my possibilities in three new autonomic communities #it's also the cooficial language i know the best. and also valencia (and more specifically alacant province) is like. on my top 3 list of #preferred destinations. cause i know pretty well the province so i think i wouldn't be so anxious moving there #and there's family and friends so i won't feel so alone i think #anyways. this is all hypothetical. but yeah #oh!!! i almost forgot!!! #if all of this happens i also want to try learning pottery ^_^ #there's a pottery workshop next door to my therapist office so i would most likely go there hehe #i'm happy cause i'm excited both to live abroad and do a phd and to stay here and study a bunch of things so. regardless of what happens #these next few months until 2024... next year is garanteed to be better than 2023. for sure

[minglana]

they picked olives at my uni today.... girl no teneban ni manetas.....

#idk what its actually called but i found some in my house (the village house) and they look like... well like hands #made of iron? its like. they comb the olive branches to get the olives. without hurting ur hands and all #and w this im remembering i should pick my olives this weekend too and kill them (what is the english term for matar olivas😭) #anyways and my uni. AN AGRONOMY UNI. doesnt have manetas or whatever manual machinery they use nowadays? #ppl picking w their bare hands n all... im sure theres easier ways to do this.... #z xarre #btw im like. not informed abt olive picking i just know how my family worked like 50 yrs ago when there were still olive trees #and vineyards in what is now wheat and cereal fields

[portokali]

here's another tag game cause @pinknoisemp3 is a real one and tagged me to share 9 books i wanna read in 2023!! it's a game ive been tagged in before so pls don't take offense i never did it when you tagged me, i always meant to 🙏🙏

tagging some besties i talk abt books w but no pressure! @quillsand @soupbi @pherelpis @mousmoula @catboypranparakulisaro @darkside-cookies @byrons @teabox and anyone else who wants to!

#my first thot when i saw the arrangement of covets was aww i wish they looked prettier together :(( and then i had to stop myself like!!! #this isnt an aesthetic!!! anna you actually like reading remember???!?!???!!??!! #ok quick runthrough of the nominees: bloodchild - v v excited 2 read more butler whoo unsettling horror stories and the short story #collection tht features in this lineup!! #calling a wolf a wolf - every quote or individual poem ive read of kaveh akbar has been 🤯🤯🤯🫡🛐🛐 i definitely should read a full work! #beloved - SO excited to read another morrison LOVED jazz which i read this summer her writing is some of the best ive read!!! #the brothers karamazov - ill read this in greek definitely looks v challenging size wise but i rly wanna read it!!! has been so long since #i fully sank my teeth into a huge dostovyevsky novel n esp reading dos. in greek feels soo satisfying idk why.. #i read crime n punishment in english n kt was NOT the same! wish i spoke russian 2 go str8 2 the orginal but alas #THE NAME OF THE ROSE this n the brothers are a case of my mutuals pick my tbr for sure!!! gi thats largely your doing tbh #her lover/i eromeni tis a greek lesbian classic thats also v hard 2 find in print form!!! hopefully i get it in my hands this year.. #i ordered it on metabook so hopefully i havent just been scammed!!! lol #love in the time of cholera another classic I'll read in greek.. this and the monstrous regiment are alice recs ALICE I HOPE YOURE HAPPY #and arcadia by stoppard which is almost exclusively kaanu teabox propaganda!!! and as a play here to add to the mix yahoo! #tag game #2023

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded

#circled around to lovelessness as a lens there. so long as one was loving. so long as one wasn't consciously malicious #really just mask off about keeping the same perspective of Superiority when conflating disability & ppl ''making excuses'' #same as like e.g. that ppl consider everything an autistic person does as being Bad / Wrong / Worse. (this includes ''unskilled''!!!) #(crushing the Social Skills(tm) framework in talking abt allistic difference in my fist) #such that they think sm1 saying Autistic!! is then something they might be unfairly Beholden to to Put Up With their Wrongness #at special times in special scenarios....rather than like in some contexts you are no more ''right'' than the other party #different groups & cultures whose Norms Standards & Expectations could render You presumed rude thoughtless pushy etc #obvious overlaps to consider re: the Norms of like english speaking as ''universal'' someone noticeably speaking it as nth language? #time to Presume their ideas & contributions are Less. if they had the good brain like you their fluency would render their linguistic #Wrongness in having a diff 1st language invisible thus irrelevant. like the ''ideal'' for disability! as the ''ideal'' for anyone Passing #in any way! queer ppl surely all want to be as proximate to cishet ideals (just as cishet ppl should!) nonwhite ppl to Ideal White #women's rights = Proving they're As Good As men. ladies you're using too many exclamation points!! be Confident be Pushier!! #but ofc nobody actually wants the Others(tm) to be Equal. they're just saying ''it's your innate Wrongness that means you Aren't'' #the ableism logic in everything. men just Are better at xyz. oh we Can abuse autists...into being as proximate to allistic as possible!! #just actually means ''oh we Can abuse autists.'' the ''correctness'' is your Difference ''intruding'' less into allistic existence #force you to be harmed & diminished all day then save your meltdowns for when you're alone & out of the way #ppl's tweets like ''when ppl say 'omg too sensitive ofc i wasn't talking abt disabled ppl!' like yeah no shit b/c you never think of #disabled ppl'' like yeah most people idk aren't making their life's agenda to stop everyone from saying Stupid #but like believe me people organically sense the Vintage R words when you get called Idiot in exactly the same spirit & purpose #i mean that's so rworded as in that's so gay!! cmon!! & it's fine if you don't say either to gay ppl or. or. [insert the office quote] #oh i don't call um 20th c disabled ppl morons it's bad taste!! but b/c i use it Figuratively in the present it's fine it's so Different #fr i can't remember like. an article w/1 matter of fact sentence from a doctor using a [now Just a childish insult!!] as Diagnostic Label #for someone's disability & it still registered like ice water in the face. presumably no ''especial'' Malice just matter of fact! #it wasn't ''idiot'' it may have been ''moron'' fr. the vintage ''factual'' r word is There plain as day #like yeah ofc the ableism gets channeled into alternate language. & then complaints abt that is like UGH CMON!!! #like idk shouldn't you be fine using the R word then too? not really sweating this issue thee most all thee time either but like #it's not sooo funny even if someone seems pressed extensively abt it. not that hard to in fact just not use all these words all the time #ppl will be throwing out their ableism w/o Any labels talking about how Weird Offputting Etc someone acts so you can Tell they're bad.... #and yeah you should think abt that. anytime. the [difference used to categorize ''other'' is Just difference] Is Everywhere All The Time #the idea it can & should be ''contained'' for especial limited specific occasions (when you're feeling Nice!) = upholding the status quo

[dinitride-art]

Polls.

Not Poles.

Would you believe that I have been learning this language for nearly nineteen years? That it’s what my brain is built on? That I read and write all the time and still can’t spell basic words?

The spelling doesn’t even make any sense. Like there’s two ‘L’s and suddenly that makes it so the ‘o’ sound changes? Like that doesn’t happen with dolls. And I know it’s because those two words were probably taken from two different languages but still, what the fuck? Pole is like that because the ‘e’ on the end affects the vowel, and that’s a rule that makes sense. Sometimes. Most of the time kinda. And like okay, I know that pole is about like the North Pole and stuff that’s like related to the specific use of that term. Science shit. And polls has a different meaning because it’s about polls. But still in my head polls should be pronounced like ‘pauls’. But like slightly different. For whatever reason that may be.

At this point I should just try to learn pieces of like twenty other languages just to try and understand the roots of English to spell things correctly.

#everyday I go on tumblr and embarrass myself #I’ve never been able to spell things right and I’d like to stop trying #even fucking French makes more sense than this #like sure you don’t say half the word #but the stuff in the word itself that you say and don’t say generally follows the same rules #like don’t pronounce h’s #and j’s have a jhhhhhh sound instead a juh #and I was only in French classes for three years and never had an actual teacher #and it still makes more sense than English #a couple years ago I was learning Japanese halfheartedly on duolingo #and holy shit the characters actually had rules #and they all followed the same thing and pattern #and it was beautiful #english will just absorb random phrases from other languages and call it a day #adios has just always been in my head and that is straight up Spanish #and ce la vi (no idea how to spell it it’s French. can only kinda pronounce French) #ce l’vie #cę la vie #yeah no idea #it’s got rules that make sense but fuck if I know them #English is way easier to speak than to write #I should have a tag that’s me complaining so people can block it #uhh #personal #I think that works