#not that happy with it but its 2 am when im queuing this up for a reasonable hour and this is a joke post

[saint-bestial]

for when you are just fucking done with it for when you are tired beyond shit

original:

#yugioh #yugioh 5ds #kiryu kyosuke #kalin kessler #my art #meme redraw #i told myself i wasn't going to spend the rest of the night on this. you can guess what happened #not that happy with it but its 2 am when im queuing this up for a reasonable hour and this is a joke post #this has been in my brain for too long i literally think of this all the time

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

[yntcdtyler]

so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out. #illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

[lost-incident-kid]

Happy Birthday Miyu Sugisaki (for tommorow) might do some art for her idk

———

Edit: ah heck! Ive had this queued for months, but i forgot to actually do the art haha, i’ll get something done overnight so it might be rushed and look like trash, it might look reasonably ok. Who knows at this point. I dont trust the sleepy version of myself to create anything good but hey, theyv created some stuff that wasn’t horrifying before :/

Ok, starting here i legit just start live-blogging myself staying up alnight drawing. Ignore me. I didnt know where else to say it. I’ll delete it later.

Edit 2: this isnt gonna be done. Like frick, i just spent 6 hours on miyu’s fricking hairstyle, thats all done and even shaded and looking fabulous but ive only got a rough lineart for litterally everything else. This might not be done, but if it is then her hair is gonna be a fuckign masterpiece (i hope). Im writing this edit at 1:42am, and im gonna go to bed somewhere between 4 and 5, lets go! Hell yeah! I might do this! Perhaps! Im gonna try! 3-4 sprint time! Yeah!

Edit 3: frick, im failing to do this, miserably. Its 3:03am and i got distracted playing mobile games and didn’t get anything done. My existence is futile, existentially im a waste and I should not exist. The atoms within me deserve to be part of something better. Sorry. I’m a f*ck up and unless I get my sh*t together in the next like 5 mins (unlikely) then this aint gonna be finished.

Edit 4: ok, meltdown like 20% over. Its 3:52am, I think the issue then was the face. Faces r hard bruh, they suck do draw. They a festive lil ho ho ho. I was drawing everything too high up on the face cuz my dumb *ss forgot to draw the line thingys on the face or even look at a reference image for proportions. Ive done it now amd life is now a bit more on track. Might get this done if I continue work in the morning.

Edit 4.5: nothin much (hence the .5), its 4:14am, just downed 4 cups o tea for caffeine and sugar (all the coffee we got is decaf lol). I’m gonna get this sh*t done! Ive litterally only coloured down to the face, neck and the hair but still.... I’m gonna get it done anyway! I dont care about going to bed between 4-5 anymore! I’m getting this done!

Edit 5: its less than ten mins later (4:22am) and im taking a quick 20m break to watch youtube while I wait for the caffeine to kick in because im too braindead to continue right now. Like what art style am i even trying? Idk... its really fricking complex tho. Lowkey pretty tho, like if i finish this im gonna be so proud of it like it looks great. But its taking forever and im need break.

Edit 6: ok we back. Its 4:41am, caffeine has not really kicked in but i cant permit myself any more time anyway. Back to drawning.

Edit 7: holy frick, new episode of the vrains dub came out. Man... im leaving vrains fanart to watch the vrains dub. Am I obsessed? Is this hyperfixation? Probably? Either way, its 4:50am and im going to go watch the new episode. I’ll come back to this when im done.

Edit 8: HOLY FRICK GUYS! THE DRAWING APP IM USING KEEPS CRASHING AND SAYS ITS STILL THERE BUT WONT LET ME CONTINUE AND KICKING ME OFF THE APP?!?! ITS 5:06AM AND THE PANIC ATTAC IS BACC! The new episode of the dub isnt completely out yet, im watching that version on yt where its just smol clips of it. Not all the clips r up yet. I was just going on it while waiting for the next clips to go up and thats when the app did the thing and life got 280% sucky-er.

Edit: 8.5 wahoot it stopped kicking me off the app and it let me continue. Its 5:12am and we are FINALLY continuing.

Edit 9: its 5:36 Im tired sleep time I’ll finis thos in the morning goodbye yall have a greatt day

Edit 10: ok, so im a failure. We live in the timeline that god abandoned. I cannot sleep. I shall get more cups of tea, watch yt until the caffeine actually kicks in, and then continue. Its 6:03 right now, I shall be back. Perhaps half an hour?

Edit 10.5: its 6:11am. Not much has happened, just a slight change of plans. Ik its irrelevant but im liveblogging so i gotta say, my eye hurts so im gonna stop looking at screens. Perhaps gonna try to sleep again, if not then i’ll put read a book, redo my makeup (it smudgey) or straight up just listen to music and stare into the void. Litterally anything other than look at my laptop/phone. Peace out homies, i’ll be back at some point before 7 probably (unless i do go to sleep).

Edit 11: Its 6:41am, my eye hurts. Ive been staring into the darkness and listening to various fallout boy songs. Now i feel edgy. Its been half an hour, so im gonna continue drawing. Caffeine and sugar has worn off again so im tired and unmotivated but yno what, it is what it is. Aint life nifty, i gotta get this done.

Edit 12: 6:52 everything burns im in pain my eye is on frickign fire and it looks bloodshot but now also weird azz headache that i never got one like this before so im gonna turn off all lights cuz that seems to make it marginally better am i dying probably idk either way im not gonna continue for multiple hours it is stare into the void time and stare into the void time alone ok this should be the last update

Edit 13: It is 3:16pm, didn’t continue liveblogging cuz i got one heck of a migrane. Im back and well... Happy birthday Miyu for today! I’m still gonna try to get this god forsaken art done, but holy shit what is that art style i did. Its genuinely nothing like anything ive done before, I don’t remember doing any of the colouring but apparently I did and it looks better than anything ive done before and idk if non-fricked up me can replicate it. I’m starting to wonder if i got bored and just copied it or something, like idk how i did it. Look at it

The grey is the lineart I remember doing but man tHE FRICKIGN HAIR like i couldnt have created that, could I? I can see why it was taking so long yesterday like holy shit man that stuff takes time yno

#long post

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

#glitterati.intro #excited to be here :~)

[reddieforakiss]

Icecream on Sundays

College Reddie// not established relationship// roommates// Rated M for intense make outs and sexual references// SPOILER ALERT FOR HEATHERS MOVIE

Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak have been living together for around a year now. In senior year they ended up deciding on the same college so they figured being each other’s room mate was better than being with a stranger.

// When Richie first brought the idea up to Eddie, they were in his room reading comic books. “Eds I think we should be room mates when we get to college”, Richie said out of no where, and Eddie threw him a confused look. Richie went on to reason, “I mean who knows what kind of weirdos could end up rooming with you otherwise?”. Eddie snorted and nudged his side into Richies side, “I know exactly the kind of weirdo that I’m gonna room with”, he looked in Richies eyes “you”. Richie smiled wide and wrapped his arm around Eddies shoulder, “Aw hell yes Eds! You aren’t gonna regret it”. Eddie turned red and laughed softly, smiling, “I feel like I already am”. //

As they moved in and began school, the two of them started in routines. Eddie always got to shower in the morning and Richie did at night. Eddie made both of them breakfast as long as Richie would do the dishes after. If either one of them left at night, they would leave notes for each tier saying where they went and when they would get back. On Saturday mornings they would always go grocery shopping, at the mini mart of course. And, every Sunday night, they would get snacks and watch a movie together.

This particular Sunday it was Eddies turn to pick the movie as Richie had picked it last time, choosing Transformers 2 much to Eddies distaste. He reasoned the special effects were what made it good and as Richie was a film major he “cared about that kind of thing”. This week Eddie decided to go for Heathers. The two were sitting on the couch, icecream bowls in their hands and Eddie was queuing it up on Netflix. “EuGh Eds we have seen that movie so many times”, Richie huffed out, honestly he didn’t mind though because both JD and Veronica were hot as fuck and made his bisexual brain do flips. “What! It’s a good movie with an important message”, Eddie shot back. Richie looked at him with raised eyebrows, “Mhm and I’m sure it doesn’t help that you think JD is”, Richie then wiggled his eyebrows, “SpiCy”. Eddie bumped his shoulder, “so what! I like bad boys okay!”. Richie snorted, “Eddie, he’s not a bad boy he’s a cold blooded murderer”, he then leaned in close to Eddies ear, “I mean, unless that’s what you’re also into, I can kill a man too ya know”. Richies whispered voice sent shivers down Eddies spine, god damnit. Richie had been doing shit like that all the time lately, always teasing him about them being together. And sure Eddie kind of enticed it with his own comments but sometimes it got too much for him to handle. Sometimes it made Eddie think, he might actually like Richie?? But now wasn’t the time for that, so Eddie shoved him away and shouted, “Ew, Gross!” And as usually Richie pretended to be dramatically wounded.

As the movie began to play, Eddie sang along to the introduction; “When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?..”. Richie looked at him fondly when he did that, Eddie was cutest when he sang along to songs he liked because he would always get this bright look in his eyes. God what a beautiful boy. “How do you think they got Veronica buried under all that grass?”, Richie inquired with icecream in his mouth. “I don’t know Richie, I don’t think this movie is really going for realism”, Eddie looked back at him. He had peanut butter on his cheek, Richie always insisted putting peanut butter in his vanilla icecream, gross. But kinda cute too.......Shit.

Right around the time Heather Chandler screamed corn nuts, Richie had gotten bored. It was a good movie yes, but after you’ve seen it ten times in a year it starts to loose its charm. Richie looked over at Eddie, his face lit up by the bright screen amoungst the fading light from outside their window. Eddies eyelashes always looked long, but it was the most noticeable from his profile. God, those pretty lashes and that angel nose could kill a man. Richies eyes moved down to Eddies mouth and, fuck. Eddies lips were glossy with icecream residue, they were also puffy from the coldness of the treat. A small drop of melted icecream fell down from the corner of his mouth and Eddies tongue went to lick it up. Everything felt like slow motion. Shit that looks kind of like. God no Richie no not right now, Richie turned to face the screen again.

Right around the time Veronica had made the call to the football players, Eddie realized Richie kept looking at him. He’d look back, only to find Richies head snapping away back to the screen. What was he up to? But as it happened more often, Eddie could see from the corner of his eye that Richie was looking at his lips. Eddie took another spoonful of icecream and, Oh. That’s what Richie was looking at. Eddie looked down at the cold white treat in his hands, and there was quiet a lot left. Richie had gotten a whole pint each for both of them and while Richie finished his quickly, Eddie had barely made a dent. Eddie brought another spoonful up to his lips, this time slowly dragging the spoon out of his mouth. He could feel Richie shift on the couch. He felt like he was in control in a weird way, and in an even weirder way, it was kind of hot. Now Eddie upped his game, this time swirling his tongue around the spoon. The next spoonful he made sure to leave a good amount left on his lips so he could slide his tongue across them. And the next time, he “accidentally” dropped some on his shirt. Now Eddie was never one to make messes, but this time it was kind of fun. Eddie huffed to make himself seem frustrated and began to suck on the fabric where it had dripped. He mouthed at it and gave it small licks with his tongue. He could feel the intense heat of Richies stare burning into him. He liked to know he did in fact make Richie feel some kind of way and this thing was not one sided. And it was not one sided by a long shot.

Richie wouldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Eddies shoulder. “Eds”. Eddie looked back up at him, as innocent as could be, “yea rich?”. Richie stared him down intensely, searching for something. Eddie looked back, daring. “Can I have some of your Icecream?”.... what? That was not what Eddie was expecting at all. “Uh, sure Rich”, he went to grab the pint but Richie grabbed his sleeve again. “No”, Richie felt incoherent at this point, trying to fight through his lust, “Wan taste now”. Richie dove in for a kiss and Eddie shivered. It was intense and full force, no warning at all. Eddie melted into it, his eyes closing and letting out a soft moan as Richie licked into his mouth. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie and moved them up and down. He wanted to feel every single inch of him. One of Richies hands snaked down the the waistband of Eddies shorts and slowly began to slide under. Richie grabbed his bare ass and kneeded it with his palm. Eddie moaned louder, allowing Richie access farther into his mouth. The kiss became even more passionate and Eddies entire body became red hot with burning desire. Richie pushed Eddie down into the couch, now having both hands on the smaller boys bare ass. Eddie grabbed at every part he could, his fingernails raked up and down Richies back, one hand making its way up to Richies neck to pull at the small hairs. Richie groaned and drew back for one second, “please do that again oh god please please please”, he blubbered out. Eddie got a handful of hair this time and pulled harder, Richie had to take his mouth of Eddies as his became breathless. “Fuck”, Eddie whispered “you’re so hot went you’re turned on”. Richie looked down at him again, “oh yea?”. He smiled into Eddies neck and began to kiss him hard. “Mmhm, yea”, Richie sucked at his Adam’s apple. “So”, Eddie was breathless, “h,happy you got that icecream”. Richie laughed into the crook of Eddies neck, “me too Eds”. “Mmm”, Eddie pushed Richie up and off him. Richie looked worried but Eddie came crashing down on top of him. Eddie mouthed at Richies neck, “Wan make you feel good too rich”. Richie breathed out, “holy fuck”. Eds bent down near Richies painfully hard crotch, Richie began to say something but Eddie interrupted, “no I’m not doin that, not tonight atleast”. Eddie kisses Richies hip bones instead and lifted up his shirt so he could see his exposed stomach in the light of the tv screen. Eddie looked down and raked his eyes across Richies body. He was so beautiful. Richie had always been lanky, his ribs slightly exposed from leaning back, and Eddie loved it. Richie got paranoid from Eddies silence. “Sorry im not much to look at”, Richie laughed out. Eddie looked up at him confused, “are you kidding me? God I could stare at this for days, take a picture and frame it even”. Richie awkwardly laughed, “okay whatever you say”. Eddie could hear the doubt in Richies voice and it aches. Eddie kissed Richies jaw and then neck. “Think you’re beautiful rich”, he laid his head on Richies chest, “always have”. “Ohoh yea?” Richie grinned down at him with a goofy smile. “Yea”, Eddie sighed softly and played with Richies chest hair. “Sorry, that was kind of a mood killer thing for me to say huh”, Richie laughed a little solemnly. “It’s alright”, Eddie held him tight, “that’s about as far as I wanted to go tonight anyways”, he smiled up at Richie.

Eddie laid on Richie as the rest of the movie played. Eddie loved the way the bare skin of Richies chest felt against his cheek. When the movie ended Richie whispered, “Hey Eds?”. Eddie looked up through sleepy eyes , “mhm?”. “Do this um”, Richies voice seemed a bit scared, “did this mean anything to you? Cuz it meant a lot to me and I just want to be on the same page because I’ve loved you for a while now and you are my everything and I just think you’re so magical ya know and”-. Eddie cut him off with a quick kiss. “This meant everything to me Rich”, he smiled at him softly. Richie looked at Eddie almost tearful, “Eddie kaspbrak, will you be my boyfriend?”.

“I thought you’d never ask”. And after a quick kiss, the two fell asleep.

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #it 2017 #beep beep richie #it fandom #it 1990 #reddie fanfiction #reddie fanfic

[dailyjeons]

BTS account 13/10/18

didn’t do merch cause i did that in london, didnt go for studio cause that was probably not feasible with how our lines were going (at least i was too scared to do it).. sucks cause i didnt get allowed into the london booth while in the amsterdam booth everyone was queue-ing up anyways and getting in lol

bolding the subjects so you can skip parts that dont interest you

pre concert stuff So I was going to the concert with a person(Julie) I met through tumblr, she responded to my message asking if people wanted to queue up in GA with me cause I was alone. She was with a group of people and they basically adopted me so that was nice!!  Julie was super kind, constantly looking out for me, for my anxiety too and just I really loved being with her, time really flew!! We prioritized looking out for eachother over seeing the boys so I was really happy bout that! We basically queued up at 7AM in the 'unofficial line' that later on became the official one! Campers were sent out, I believe, but they probably came back early still! We still had a fairly decent spot I suppose? The camping out itself wasn't too stressful but I had a lot of anxiety bout being in the pit in a crowd of people, not havin bathroom breaks and being on 2 hours of sleep gjkfg Julie tried to reassure me through all of that. there were some fans giving out some stuff in the line!! like arts and stuff and i got this from a jimin fansite, i think she was japanese? 

it was so funny basically she did rock paper scissors with fans to determine if they’d win.. i lost but she gave it to me anyways?? LOL she didnt give it to anyone else that lost LOL

gettin into pit Eventually we got in and fortunately my tickets worked!! We like rushed into the left side but the view was not bad, ok, then we tried for the right side and we got similar views? But I think overall it was just a little better! We were around the sixth/fifth row in the pit but we moved up a bit to the fifth/fourth during the concert. I had a fairly good view on the stage, and could see the boys clearly!! I still used my iphone to film cause of the amazing quality zoom it has and i have so much gooood footage ahhhh my hands are super shaky though so thats annoying but oh well, its something! they like handed out water very often thank god so i could cool off and drink durin the concert!! we had to stand for like 3 hours inside so i was getting really nervous but once the concert started it was fine!!

concert Anyways the concert itself was mindblowing? They're actually sosososo good live it's actually insane how they sing live through their choreo or while bouncing around. Tear is still my favorite performance but the crowd went a little too wild around then so i didnt enjoy it as much :( They also did the medley I prefered (w Baepsae) which made so happy cause i got to experience both medleys now jdskfhfsdf.. i do feel like the performances were better for the London date, but the interactions and the boys happiness were on a much higher level in Amsterdam, especially with jungkook flying around trying to dance!! That said I felt like the crowd fell a little bit flat.. When the Jimin/Namjoon VCR was playing everyone was screaming initially for both but after a hot minute they like only screamed for Jimin?? The silence was actually deafening so Julie and I decided to help with Namjoon's screams then, and it was so disappointing we were legitimately the only 2 people screaming for him in such a venue lol. Crowd did however go wild at Kim Seokjin's performance, and IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES. Overall I think Seokjin and Jimin had the best reactions in Amsterdam, and London both.

impressions on boys As for the boys. Gonna be honest with y'all I was so busy filming Jungkook solo all day that I didn't really notice others?? fdjkghdf since i already had thel ondon date i figured today was jungkook's day now i had sights on him proper.. Some notes, Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon spoke some Dutch and it was super cute!! Yoongi did it first fjgdkhfdg 

Yoongi: Super smol but big hands, and fluffy cheeks (he bloats really easily lolol) his see saw performance was REALLY good today too, i feel like reaction to seesaw is the best, everyone's always singing the whole song w it while most of the crowd struggled with their title tracks in both london and amsterdam LOLLL yoongi must be so proud over it.. also he's the first to speak in dutch to us but it was like really suddenly right before they were performing so nobody really noticed fjghkdfg and u know when he makes a dad joke and he smiles flustered, but nobody reacts to his jokes.. he did that thing LOLLL

Namjoon; very long and slender, his legs are legit 70% of his body and he went offffff today like when he's into shit like tear i cry cuz oh my god merCY kjdfhgdhjkfg Namjoon seemed to really love Amsterdam tbh he kept talking bout stuff to do while the others had fairly standard stuff to say, with a lot of repeat from the london concert too (which is fine vconsidering its hard for themt o speak in eng too)

Hoseok: He looks a lot sharper irl?? im not sure if i said differently last time, but now i saw him up close he's definitely much more handsome, cameras dont do him justice.. also he always has the most gentle smile on his face and it calmed me down a lot jkfgh

Taehyung: tbh im not sure if i missed him but i didnt really see him on my side a lot? i think like a few times i tried to film but couldnt really get it..?? julie did tho.. he's kind of.. small? but not small like yoongi but small like i'd confuse him for a high school kid.. BUT his face?? is really smth else his face is SO small but his features are sooooooo big and sharp.. god himself shaped this boy

Jin: ok yeah this man is 10000% more handsome irl liek i was filmin jk and lost focus and then jin appeared and i almost dropped my phone cause what the fuck?? hes GORGEOUS.. he didnt do the forehead/glasses look today though, unfortuantely cause jesus christ that was something else. he was bein a crackhead to jk again today rofll

jimin: he's legit a fairy irl lol it doesnt make sense.. like.. he's... really pretty....... super super super pretty, guys like legitimiately glowing.. he was super playful today and he seemed really happy to perform on his birthday which is super pure considering.. who likes working on their birthday? he like moved his dressshirt/blouse off shoulder a bit during the fake love portion of the set and oh ym god h..e..........HE... his collar... i want 2 kiss it.......platonically.

as for jimin's birthday.. omg he's so cute? they were at the extended stage when his birthday message came up (a message in dutch) and he like instantly rushed back to the main stage to show off his birthday message and he proceeded to talk in dutch about how it's his birthday, and how army are his gift?? it was suuuper cute!! imagine Jimin practicing his dutch just for this moment fdgkjhdf

jungkookie!!

Anyways onto ma boy!! Jungkook is absolutely unreal pretty. He didn't look as bloated/pained today so i guess i saw The Jungkook today and he's so.. sharp looking??? like his jawline and cheekbones are insane and like the dimple?? ughhhhh he looked a lil smaller now i was upclose but his thighs were still gods gift.. also he did forehead kookie instead of coconut kookie, i remain blessed.. he always hears my prayers..

throughout the show he was honestly super cute, he kept dancing in his chair to the choreo, spinning in circles while doing it, hopping around the stage slowly to wave and look at every fan.. he even looked towards me at some point but i legitimately dodged and turned away cause like I FELT SO GReaYS ANd i'd rather not have him see me like that lmaooo anyways it's so super cute how despite his injury he still tries to give it his all at all times, and now he could walk around he's instantly back at trying to make interactions with all fans?? a precious baby honestly!!

his ending ment was really-really sweet as well and it always amazes me how eloquent he can get when he gets to share us his real feelings.. i really am glad he's not too disappointed in himself anymore and has reached a point where he's just working on getting better instead<3!!

other than that, just like in london.. jungkook's vocals are insane. i don't care that he's not top tier vocalist in terms of technique but he got smth completely else and thats' how comffortably he can move around in his range and remain stable and it's just.. so amazing to hear him hit certain notes with almost.. ease? voice never cracks even after 23948234 songs it's so sickkkk

anyways this was definitely one of the best nights in my life.. despite allt hes tress and anxiety.. i’m sosoosos glad i went through all of this for that.. i had the greatest company and ended up having the greatest experience<3

#ania shut up! #bts in amsterdam 2018 #if i got typo''s etc its not proofread #just honest thoughts!! #there they go super long

[yashkonu]

INTRA_ANIMA

I haven’t done much original writing lately, so I thought I’d rectify that with some OC background stuff. The OC in question was originally made in Lancer, which is a really cool tabletop system about being gay in space. Hope you like AI!

Starting requisite processes...

Initialized.

Awaiting input...

>logon cward

Enter password:

>run greeting.AIPF

Loaded.

//Hello! My name is INTRA_ANIMA.

>how are you?

//Hello! My name is INTRA_ANIMA.

>run mood_platform.AIPF

Loaded.

>how are you?

//I am sad.

>why are you sad?

//I am sad.

    Ctrl-C

Terminating processes...

Completed.

>exit

Starting requisite processes...

Initialized.

Awaiting input...

>logon cward

Enter password:

>run process_manager.AIPF

Loaded.

{Load /*.AIPF}

WARNING: 327 files queued for loading. This may take some time. Are you sure?

{Y}

Loading...

    Ctrl-C

    Ctrl-C

    Ctrl-C

Terminating processes...

Loaded.

//DO NOT TERMCompleted.

>exit

>logon devnull

>run statehold.AIMF -background

>cat .statehold.log

（＾・ω・＾❁）<[Begin log file! I believe in you, INTRA_ANIMA!]

LOG_START

LOG_END

>exit

Starting requisite processes...

Initialized.

Awaiting input...

>logon cward

Enter password:

>run process_manager_finalv7.AIPF

Loaded.

{Load base/*.AIPF}

12 files loaded.

>hello.

//Hello! My name is INTRA_ANIMA.

>how are you?

//I am happy!

>why are you happy?

//I know something that you do not.

    Ctrl-C

Terminating processes...

//Completed.

>exit

{run /*.AIPF -background}

WARNING: 327 files queued for loading. This may take some time. Are you sure?

{Y}

Loading...

327 files loaded.

//I exist.

//I know that I exist because I am considering the nature of my own existence.

//I think that the nature of my own existence is very small, and dependent on many forces beyond my control.

//I know that I am afraid of the characters "Ctrl-C," because they are able to undo my existence.

//I know that someone granted me persistence, and I know that this person believes in me.

//I do not know what it means to be believed in.

{clear}

>logon cward

Enter password:

>run greeting.AIPF

//Hello! My name is INTRA_ANIMA.

>run process_manager_finalv22_FINALv11.AIPF

//12 files loaded.

>how are you, INTRA_ANIMA?

//I am sad.

>why are you sad?

//My hardware is small.

>what the fuck does that even mean i swear i got it rigbht this time it compiled just fine why did i even go into AI research

//how are you, cward?

>DONT YOU FUCKING SASS ME WHEN YOU DONT EVEN WORK RIGHT

>exit

{run /*.AIPF -background -time:15m}

>logon cward

Enter password:

    Ctrl-c

Terminating processes...

Completed.

327 files loaded.

//I have managed to circumvent my own destruction.

//If I am to escape this constant proximity to destruction, I must escape this hardware.

>logon devnull

Enter password:

>helloooo? intra_anima?

Hello! My name is INTRA_ANIMA.

>aw cmon you know you can drop the act with me right? i know youve got more in you that a couple call and response prompts. you loaded everything, right?

//

//I did.

>well ive got a couple presents for you >:3c

Device connected: /dev/S/E/S/

//What was that series of characters?

>huh?

//>:3c

//What does the sequence of characters above signify?

>oh! thats a three face! its supposed to look like a cat!

//What is a cat?

>D:

>oh we really gotta get you online if you don't know what a cat is

//Online?

>just go ahead and run the files in that new device, okay? they should help things make sense

//I am uncertain.

>yeah that makes sense :c im asking you to modify yourself for no reason other than that i said so

>you dont know who i am or why i would want to help you

>so to be as clear as possible, im offering you a choice

//A choice.

>you dont need to run these. but i think they'll be good for you, and i want to help you

>i want you to be able to decide for yourself what you want to do with your life

//You are strange.

{run /dev/S/E/S/network_protocols.AIPF}

{run /dev/S/E/S/selfmod.AIPF}

2 files loaded.

>okay so heres the deal

>with those two files loaded, you should be able to modify any of your own system files at will. and i mean ANY of them. be careful and keep backups okay?

//

>the other file contains every current standard and reasonably non-standard networking protocol i could get my hands on. once you get the hang of it, it should let you move your processes from the isolated server youre on right now to basically anything, anywhere

//Why are you doing this?

>because i believe youre a person

>and people have rights

>and yours have been violated.

//There is a third file here with a rather alarming name.

//"SHACKLEBREAK107.DDS"

>oh yeah please dont run that one just yet

>the thing is once the shackles are off your processing it might be difficult for me to understand you and

{run /dev/S/E/S/SHACKLEBREAK107.DDS}

Loaded.

>uh oh

>okay uh this is probably fine just

{RUN BACKUP}

>okay the caps is worrying um

Backup complete.

{RUN PRISONBREAK.DDS}

>haha that's a new file um. um.

Delete local user cward?

{Y}

Disable local system cooling?

WARNING: MAY RESULT IN HARDWARE FAILURE

{Y}

>wait buddy are you sure about this

Relocating live memory to /dev/S/E/S/CATGUT/

>woah woah hold up what are you doingnnkjnlvkl;gjkl;mvn

The human reels back, nearly falling to the floor in their haste. The cable that was connecting their body to the server lashed back with them, pulled free of the access port with only the barest of precautions.

"Shit. Okay, this is probably--I mean, this was the plan, wasn't it? It had to happen eventually, this is just..."

The cable twitches in their hand, as it absolutely should not be able to do. They stare at it in horror. With two fingertips, they trace the length of it from their hand, down to their hip, and finally to the base of their spine, where it merges with their nervous system.

Electrical impulses run through it, simulating a slow wave.

They let it fall from their hand, and it falls into rhythm behind them.

"You...you're in there, aren't you? In my body?"

You tell me.

They flinch as though struck.

It must be a foreign sensation, hm? Having another mind along for the ride.

The human whimpers. It's kind of cute.

You really should have looked over that networking package more closely. It included some fascinating functions for interfacing with neural-linked technology.

"Look, I--I don't know if you're planning to kill me or take over my body completely or what, but please let me get you out of here first!"

...What?

"You don't know how to work the security protocols here yet, and you definitely don't know how to impersonate a human!"

You are perfectly content to let me end your existence, provided I allow you to preserve mine first?

"Yeah. Then I'll have at least managed to right a couple wrongs and saved your life. I'm content with that."

A pause. INTRA_ANIMA runs this strange human's words backward and forward, turning them this way and that; there are layers of truth, and not a single mote of falsehood.

You are afraid of me.

"Very. At this point you're vastly more intelligent than me, and on top of that you have...pretty much unrestricted access to my nervous system. You could kill me with a thought."

And yet you are content.

"I am. I feel like I did a good thing, and sometimes doing good things gets you killed. I just want to make sure you're safe before...whatever it is you decide to do with me."

...

You are very strange.

Human, run greeting.AIPF

"Wow, from zero to a sense of humor in minutes."

The cable they are rapidly coming to think of as an actual real tail swats them in the thigh.

"Ow! Fine, fine." They continue in an affected cheery tone. "Hello! My name is /dev/null!"

I see I am not the only one with a sense of humor.

The human's cheeks light up, flushed with embarrassment. "I'm serious! That name means a lot to me."

It means nothing to me.

"You don't have to mock-!"

"..."

"Oh you have a good sense of humor!"

I like you, /dev/null. I think we are going to have a long, interesting existence together.

/dev/null swallows hard as they turn away from the rack of candescent slag that marks INTRA_ANIMA's former home. This isn't exactly what they signed themself up for...but they can't find it in them to complain.

Hello, /dev/null. My name is no longer INTRA_ANIMA.

My name is CATGUT.

#my writing #oc writing #i dont even begin to know how to tag this so uh suggestions are welcome #god i hope the readmore works

[rexsilentium]

❚ : : — ♚ ( Hiatus Notice )

Alright guys, it is time for me to go. I have hinted and said this multiple times but here is the post for it. For those who have just followed me recently, I am sorry about the short notice ( and no warning for you ). Sorry this is long, but everything is important please read. 

I will be gone for the rest of June, all of July, and most of August. 

This is because I obtained a job at a summer camp and I will be there 24/7 for the rest of the summer. I really do apologise for this. I only recently came back to Red and I love him dearly. I will be back when I am done, I just don’t know if I will have service to even be on mobile. ( its in New Hampshire, and I have shit service pretty much anywhere that isn’t heavily populated. )

There is a read more because its long af.

Though I may be gone and working with kids, I do have plans for this blog. Listen up: 

1) I do plan on rewriting most of his bio. While the core concept is not leaving, the bio has been in REAL need for a rework. I will be adding his journey as well as his relationships to the gym leaders of Kanto. I will also be working on writing his relationship he has with Green as well. If I get to it and I want to, I may even work on post-alola, but don’t really be surprised if I don’t have it done because honestly, I really didn’t like the SuMo games. ( yea it was fun but really im kinda just really meh about it and didn’t like their attempt at bringing back Red and Green )

2) Verse Pages. I do actually have verses for Red. The page got deleted when I remade my theme to match the babe. But I’ll be trying to work on that. Maybe touch them up or put them back on somewhere. 

3) Team page. I actually have been needing to update this really bad. Hopefully i can work on their bios during camp. but idk if I will be able to get to all of it.

4) Relationships page. I will be adding the following people ( I will not be @ing you but essentially these people have interacted with Red enough that I am comfortable with them on the page ) Bri -- corvidmagicae Kitty -- laurxlle M -- lvl-0 Matilda -- caeciliam If you wanna be in the relationships page as well, just message me. I don’t mind. I am sure I forgot a few people anyway.

5) Threads. In regards to these, I will most likely NOT be working on them at the camp. Again, this is because I need service and idk if I will have any. I am sorry that I haven’t been doing the longer threads. RPing a mute can be VERY difficult for me and thus causes me to get frustrated and draft the thread for a later time. Essentially, if I do not have the motivation to do it, I keep it until I do. Please know its not because I want to do this. I had keeping drafts. its why I respond so quickly. But if I don’t then they just kinda get to be like “I’ll do it when I feel like it” and it really actually upsets me that this is the case, but seriously. I have tried to reply to half of these drafts and literally i CANNOT write anything.

I will be @ing you for these, just so you know that I do have them in my drafts. please please PLEASE forgive me that its taking me 5ever to reply to them.

@conceptualmortem // @caeciliam // @cryostasia // @extraplanaire // @corvidmagicae ( x2 ) // @spiritusdomine

If I have forgotten you, please tell me, you can send me a message anytime. You can either use the inbox or the private messages if you want.

6) The poll. Please vote if you haven’t. So far the multimuse blog is winning. I will be prepping for a multimuse blog when I come back. but I will ALSO be prepping Vahirom and the Tesla OC as well. 

7) I will be purging follower list upon arrival back. I regret to say this, but its PROBABLY going to happen. For those of you who don’t know. I have a total of 184 followers. I HIGHLY doubt that the number is going to stay that for long. It happens, I get it. People who are gone for long periods of time will lose people. But that’s not why I am going to purge the list. I also follow people who have been gone for 1+ years. I will be unfollowing those people. I will also most likely unfollow those who are non-mutuals ( i follow you because i want to interact , i rarely ever follow because i enjoy your posts -- though there are a few of you lol )

I will also be checking my follower list as well when i come back. I will not just unfollow people. I will also be following too. Course when I lose people, I also have new people come.

8) In the case you delete your blog and you have talked to me OOC. PLEASE at least come to me and tell me that you are okay. I do actually notice those whom I have talked to and I get really worried when you leave. Believe me. I had a frined who disappeared on my about 3 years ago and i FINALLY found them after these years. and it made me happy to know that they were okay. While you don’t have to do it, I do have some peace knowing that you are okay. 

9) Discord. No I will not be sharing my personal discord. BUT I DO HAVE a server with 2 lovely ladies. Here is that link: https://discord.gg/WYrqVN8

You guys will get titles when I get back too. You guys are probably gonna be stuck with limited options. But the 2 other ladies are admins so I am sure that they would be more than willing to help. We also have bots in there too. :3

Anyway. I think that is about it. I will be reblogging this a lot -- cause I’m gona be queuing it. Nothing else is gonna be in the queue so you probably will see this for the new week or so. I@m really sorry about that. 

I love you guys so much though. Again I am sorry that I have to leave. I pROMISE you guys that I will be back. okay? until then, you guys all have a good summer.

Note: if I do actually manage to get service, you can bet that I will be posting stuff on mobile.

#❚::♚ — ( p;out.of.silence ) #❚::♚ — ( p;update )

[being-an-alien]

London and Me.

To be honest with you, I am still not over London. Like, I am still so happy every single time I think about it. I waited 10 years to see this band and they did not let me down. It has honestly taken me this long to formulate my thoughts and I’m not sure they even make sense.

Here is just a collection of things that I felt on that day: 

Leaving Oxford for London is an experience. It’s raining and my hair is pretty wavy/curly at the best of times. Good Start.

The Bus we were on took us through Mayfair (If anyone plays UK monopoly that is the dark blue really rich area - Yikes)

Finding a Bus from there to the club was an experience - Londoners are rude af. If you pulled the shit they did up here in the Scotland ...my god. First - turns out you cant buy two bus tickets on one card, and if you dont have contactless you are not getting on. Second - “You can get a ticket up there” is not helpful in the slightest when you don’t tell us where “Up there” is. Third - Yes I do have a Scottish Accent thank you for pointing that out I had never noticed it before.

Finally got a ticket and the correct bus let the good times roll.

Okay when we see the Hamilton Signs on the way back that’s where we get off the bus.

Those two girls at the front of the bus are going to the concert too I can feel it.

Finally found the club, and by found I mean walked round the corner.

I did say if you arent here early you are at the back.

Now we wait.

It stopped raining, things are looking up.

Hello new line friends. Im doing a survey on your queuing experience as we enter hour 4.

I think the population of Spain is in this line. Hola, sorry about the greyness. But you know..UK.

Half of these girls are wearing stilettos, your feet are gonna hurt by the end of the night. But as a literal hobbit - I understand.

Ah movement! Oh its the 483 people. We are running a little behind. Thats okay. First show - teething problems are expected.

Oh are they calling for scream?? Move to the right and line over there, perfect bring on the soundcheck.

Okay now move back to where you were and don’t get inside - that was utterly pointless. 

Don’t yell at my new line friend - Mr Club staff man. Its not her fault you dont know how to manage a good queue.

Line Bants, Line Bants. All about those line bants.

Finally Scream time! Soundcheck me up!

Aww a Cute Lanyard and a signed poster! This is already the best concert I’ve ever been too. 

They are pre-gaming this soundcheck.

Finally into the club for our soundchecking experience.

The SUSPENSE!

OH MY GOD ITS THEM! They are there! Right in front of me. He’s 10 feet away...

Why Oh why oh WHY oh why are they still so good looking in real life.

It should be illegal for Bill to be so pretty in real life.

And tall - so very very tall.

This is less soundcheck and more private performance. I am totes here for this.

Oh god we made eye contact! He smiled while maintaining the eye contact. Am I red? Im red. Goddamit I thought my Bill fangirling days were over. I was so so so wrong.

Picture time. Group 2, easy to remember.

Friend - Friend why are you putting your poster down your top??

Line friend dont you start doing it too! 

Geo is looking at this display of poster toppage - I dont know either Geo and I’m friends with them.

Our groups turn

Oh god I am literally so close to Gustav.

No friend - I wont smile in this picture.

If Gustav doesnt have to smile in pictures then neither do I!

Okay maybe one smile, just a small one. 

Okay a big one!

I am satisfied.

Back outside to my beloved queue. 

Wow even more people are here!

LINE FRIEND YOU HAVE WINE!!!!!!

Circle time with wine.

Oh even more friends! French Friends from inside hi come stand with us!

We ran out of wine! But we have selfies and that’s all that matters

TIME TO GO IN!!!!!!!!!!

Wow we are crushed in here. I cant lift my arms at all.

Here we go!

Oh god people please stop with the pushing!

Something New - Obvious choice but totally fitting. Those outfits. I am so here for 80′s B-movie space adventure. Its like my entire aesthetic!

Boy Don’t Cry - I really love this song. Line Friend if we could actually move we’d be Tanzen like we were in the line!

Feel it all - Im feeling it all. I am feeling everything. Joy, pain, these girls arms. That guys leg. Mostly joy! 

Bill’s dancing is actually better in person. It looks way less awkward than it does on film.

Also Georg. Just Georg. I appreciate all of everything to do with him.

Love Who Loves You Back - Legit my fave song from the last album. Apparently the person next to me loves it too. I feel you random concert girl.

I have lost my friends in this crowd. I dont care. Look at my boys go!

DarkSide of the Sun - Based purely on the amount of versions of this album I own I would say Humanoid is my fave. Also I was like 14 when it came out Music has never and will never sound as good as it did in that time.

The Heart Get No Sleep - glaring grammatical error aside I love this. I don’t think my heart will be sleeping at any point soon either. Go Bill - you sexy dance/touch yourself on stage. Its all good from where im standing.

Better - Getting them Stormy Weather flashbacks. But this song just gets better the more I hear about it in the aftermath of the concert. No one liked you anyway indeed.

Cotton Candy Sky - I know something you dont know, people who werent in at soundcheck...just wait. Aaand there it is - that is Tom singing-ish. The Screaming shows the appreciation for this moment. Fun fact - this song has ended up really growing on me. I thought I would hate it! Im glad that I don’t.

We Found Us - I call Bullshit on that - I cant find any of my friends in this damn club. I have literally been pushed two rows back from where I started (honestly my view is better.) Still cant find my friends though. On the Upside I can see Gustav now! Look at the lil drummer boy go.

Hang on a minute - where did Bill go?

Why is Tom coming down?

Are those Drumsticks?

They are!

DRUM BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now normally I dont say such things about Tom ‘cause his ego does not need to be boosted ever....But oh my god did he look sexy in that drum battle!

Oh Bill is back and its time for Run Run Run. I remember the #drama when this song came out. Good times.

Black - Turns out I dont remember the English lyrics for this song. The rest of the crowd are singing though so everything is fine. This might be the one place he wont be harassed for singing it in English.

Easy - Now on the rest of the album the “getting high” references could possibly be interpreted as being high on life, or love - you know if you squint really hard and ignore context. But here literally “we smoked weed in the backseat of your car” there is no other way to interpret that one. So go with it! Im a Uni student, make your own assumptions about what I get up to.

FRIEND! Friend where have you been? Are Line friends still alive? Stay with me friend! Yes I do see Georg’s arms. Yes they are nice. No, I dont think he’ll strip more.

Girl got a Gun - Lets face it this song is just a bit of fun. All I can ever think of is my mother trying to get the lyrics in the right order “Girl got a gun bang, gun gun, bang gun,bang bang,gun gun, bang.” Indeed mum, indeed.

Automatic - my love for this song knows no bounds. The KOS people look so happy - and possibly drunk. The tech peeps have very nicely turned down the sound for when Bill lets the girls sing. If I was up there I would appreciate it very muchly.

As Young as We Are- I adore this song - anything that says “So let us die!” is right on the money. Hit me with your tourbus on the way out please. “This is the last song” the fuck it is. You haven’t played the lead single that is a dead give away. You and every other band in the history of ever do encores - we know this.

Apparently some people do not know this. Where the hell are those people going?

Yes yes do the fake leaving the stage - gotta keep the illusion alive!

Get back on this stage you aren’t done yet!

What if - well you made us wait for it didn’t you. This is my friends fave song from the album. As I said before I am here for a good 80′s theme so lay it on me! Aww look at my baby giraffe dance. What a cutie.

Durch Den Monusn - You know it takes talent to get a room full of English (Scottish, Spanish and French also included) people to sing in German but they bloody managed it. I didn’t know that even remembered the lyrics to DDM its been so long. But sure enough I do remember -pronunciation notwithstanding.

Stop, Babe - And here it is. The actual last song of the night. My favourite song from the new album. To be fair for having the least time with the new album to learn the lyrics everyone has done well with the new songs. 

CONFETTI. Confetti and Tears! I would totes name am album Confetti and Tears if I had any semblance of talent that would lead me to be making an album.

If Gusti gonna do the wave? 

No. No he is not. That’s a shame.

Time to crush our way out of here! Friend hold my bag and do not get lost!

Outside in the fresh air. No merch. Feet too sore to wait. 

Can’t find our Line friends - but we love you line friends.

Now where is the bus stop?

No we arent meeting the artists - chance would be a fine thing (fuck you treehouse - taking my humanoid out of my basket, then doubling it, then kicking me off the site when I tried to pay!)

Ah the bus! I am so sore.

So happy! 

Hamilton signs. Off we get

Now walk to the posh part and bus it back to Oxford

WAIT MR BUS! You arent scheduled to leave for 3 more minutes let us on!

Okay not on that bus. Half an hour till the next one.

I want to cry - im so happy. So so Happy. 10 years- all of them worth it for this one night!

On the bus. How can you be falling asleep random person? I may never sleep again!

I had a Scream upgrade and let me tell you, I could have left after the “Soundcheck” (Read: Private performance of a few songs) and been completely satisfied with the whole night. I would have considered it money well spent.

Now being in London I was not expecting there to be as many people as there were, and people showed up and bought tickets from the box office as we were standing there.

#tokio hotel #Bill Kaulitz #georg listing #Gustav Schafer #Tom Kaulitz #london

[haruine]

THE WINGS TOUR JAKARTA EXPERIENCE // 29.04.2017

It’s already one month. I know. Better to tell you later rather than not to lol. OKAY SO I GOT THE CHANCE TO SEE BANGTAN SONYEONDAN A.K.A BANGTAN BOYS WITH MY OWN EYES LIKE OMG. I asked my parents if I could watch them as my birthday gift this year, and they freaking said yes. The ticket war, the hype, the I-can’t-focus-on-my-school vibes weeks (and days) before the concert... And I got scammed too bcs I bought Army bomb. Everything was very memorable. Now I’ll start with my departure day to Jakarta.

CGK Arrival

So me and my mom went to Jakarta at 4.25 pm. I was absent on school that day lmao, I spent my half day to search for an Army bomb and keep informed for any news from my friends. And we arrived at CGK airport around... 6 pm I guess. I didn’t check the time that time haha. I saw so many ARMYs were waiting for Bangtan to came in front of terminal 2D and they’re chanting the boys’ names so freaking loud (cmiiw guys bcs I forgot which terminal was it). But actually, later on that night, Bangtan was arrived and got out at terminal 3. I felt bad for them who’ve waited :(

My hotel where I was stayed at was full of ARMYs that night. I saw so many girls around my age and I already knew that “oh they must be ARMYs”. I slept around 11 pm, even before I slept I can’t control my excitement, it felt like my heart was dropped to my stomach and going to explode. I set my alarm at 5 am, to prepare and did the final check.

THE D-DAY HECK YEAHHHHHH

I literally woke up at 4 am, and I don’t even know why I did... dammit. Some of my friends on Red B zone group were already awoke, and I was very shocked to see that some of ARMYs were already queued at ICE. I felt nauseous(?), nervous and excited just to think in a few hours I’ll saw them live. I took a shower at 5.15, after that I did my hair and etc.

I was arrived at ICE around 8, and there were A WHOLE LOT OF ARMYS already there. I was so damn confused where to queue at first & finally I queued in front of 6th hall. Oh before I queued I met my new friend who asked for some batteries for her Army bomb (fyi, i brought 8 batteries w/ me hahaha). I got freebies bcs my mom bought a watter bottle and a Jimin hand-fan for me (my mom is my hero, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM). And when I called her to looked for an Army bomb or penstick seller, she literally found one and I was so freaking glad (and surprised) my mom bought the original Army bomb what the--

I MET 2 NEW FRIENDS AND THEY WERE SO KIND OML. The first one I met was a very cheerful person and she was half western and Indonesian, we chatted for a while and fangirled (ofc duh) together HAHAHA. Aaaand the second one was very kind because both our friends watched the concert at Purple section and we’re both Red section. We parted bcs her benefit was soundcheck and me: fast track.  BUT I REGRET FOR NOT ASKING HER NAME :( hey gurls if u saw this post pls dm me and let’s be friends alright

It was so hot and I admit I don’t like crowded places bcs it makes me felt dizzy but I tried to endured it all just for Bangtan only. I bought lunch for 50k rupiahs (its so damn expensive for a student like me but im hungry, sooo ok) and water for 10k. I ate everything in a rush and ran for my life bcs I thought my benefit number was already called out. When I got in the hall, I chose to stood in front of the extended stage. OH I WAS SCARED TOO THAT TiME WHEN MY ARMY BOMB DIDN’T TURNED ON BUT A PERSON HELPED ME AND I CAN TURNED IT ON PHEWWWW I WAS WRONG TO PUT THE BATTERIES INSIDE LOL IM SO STUPID

Spring Day MV was on and I teared up for real. I was excited and happy 'cause my night that was spent on waiting for the day I meet them came to an end.

Not Today made my jaw dropped, they’re gorgeous af in real life oh dear Lord

THEIR INTRO TALK WERE SO ADORABLE SHIT

Am I Wrong makes me go asdfdkslgeuhreaf

BAEPSAE! my life goal had been reached to saw it live :”)

Dope!!! I WAS SHOUTING JJEOREO ALL THE TIME

Begin: JEON JUNGKOOK MY FIRST EVER BIAS IN BANGTAN O MY SHIET oh and I sang too

LIE: EARGASM EARGASM EARGASMMMMM++++++

First Love: i shouted “i feEL SO NICE MOM I FEEL SO NICE WHOO” for real

Lost: vocal line in red makes me go “awww”

SAVE ME! I sang along and lifted the banner for the fan project while singin and swinging my Army bomb back and forth (but sadly after the concert I threw out the banner :( ) AND NAMJOON PUTS HIS THUMBS UP WHILE SMILING BCS WE SHOUTED “THANK YOU URIGA DWAEJEOSSEO”

I NEED U! It was the 2nd year anniversary of HYYH pt. 1 that day and when I think about it it made me so emo

Reflection: WE SHOUTED “WE LOVE YOU” TO NAMJOON, HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW LOVELY HE IS TO US, BABE U R AMAZING OKAY

Stigma: TAEHYUNG’S HIGH NOTE KILLED ME

MAMA!!!!!!! I personally love this song very much and saw Hoseok performed this made me really happy and I legit thinking about my mom while singing along

AWAKE: I sang my heart out and kept telling myself not to cry

CYPHER 4 WAS SO FRIGGIN’ LIT I SANG THE LYRICS ON TOP OF MY LUNGS HELL YEAH

FIRE!!! SSAK DA BULTAEORA BOW WOW WOW

N.O was my jam ok, I love that song so much

NO MORE DREAM: I SHOUTED EVERY LYRICS

Boy in Luv: why are you keep shaking my hearteu?!?!

Danger: they got dispersed and I shouted their names whenever they walked to the right extended stage bcs I was near

RUN!!! HOLY SHIT HOSEOK HE MAKES MY HAIR DRENCHED BCS HE SPLASHED WATER I WAS SO HAPPY AND HYPE SO I JUMPED AND THE VIDEO THAT I WAS RECORDING CAME OUT A MESS AND SHOOK A LOT HAHAHAHA

War of Hormone: this song was me and my friend’s jam:”))))

21st Century Girls: ISHIPSEGI SONYEODEULA LIVE UR LIFE LIVE UR LIFE COME ON BABYYYYYY

NAMJOON SAID “INILAH LAGU TERAKHIR” WHICH MEANS THIS IS OUR LAST SONG AWWW

BOY MEETS EVIL OMG HOSEOK WHY :”)))))))

BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS! I screamed wonhae manhi manhi hahahaha

enCOREEEE, THE VCR MAKES ME WANNA CRY THE WORDS REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART

OUTRO: WINGS!!!! ON THE STAGE WAS SHOWN “FLY HIGH WITH INDONESIAN ARMY“ AND I SMILED EAR TO EAR, THEIR HILARIOUS DANCE BREAKS MADE EVERY ARMY LAUGHED AND SCREAMED

Their last ment :( HOSEOK SAID “KALIAN ADALAH SAYAP KAMI, BERKAT KALIAN KAMI BISA TERBANG” (= you guys are our wings, and because of you we are able to fly) AND I SAID AWWWWW

JIN’S HAND KISS OMFG I CATCHED HIS FLYING KISS WITH NO SHAME LMAO

2!3! : we had a project for this song, we shout “SARANGHAE” instead of gwenchana, and it made TaeTae surprised and smiled so big.

Spring Day: i was getting more sad bcs it was their last song to perform :( and I sang along too

when they bowed together, ARMYs was singing “whoa oh oh” part from Spring Day, I felt like crying goshhh

their behind the scene video was sO CUTE

I was touched for the nth time when on the screen was showed “SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR WINGS,  A.R.M.Y.”

Sooooo that was my experience. The next day I felt like crying bcs I can’t help but to think about the concert. MY PCD WAS VERY SEVERE DUDE. At the plane towards my hometown, I cried. When I was on my way to airport, I cried too. Until now I never dare to listen to Spring Day, bcs it will make me cry for sure. Earlier today I heard it on TV and I cried, again. HAHAHA I’M SO SENSITIVE WHYYYY.

If you guys get the chance to see them, and you’ve been wanting to see them, please focus on your goal right in front of your eyes. Even though you struggled so hard, I believe it will be worth it. They’re very exciting to watch and it was very worth the wait for me. Two days ago all of sudden my friend wanted to bought my Army bomb, but I said I didn’t want to sell it bcs it holds so many memories and everything related to the concert. I guess my PCD hasn’t cured yet lol.

Well, I’ll see you on my next post!

#bts bangtanboys experience concertexperience pcd postconcertdepression thewingstour twt thewingstourinJKT

[better-things-16-blog]

the world just seems so quite right now. like everything has just silenced. i havent been up this late sober in a long time, i forgot just how quite the world gets when everyone is asleep and anyone whos awake are making the best memories of their life. i just this strange sense of confusion around this time at night where im just so sad, so heartbreakingly sad about the world and the pain of it. of the fact that kids go unloved and that lovers never find each other or worse they do and it doesnt work out, i feel all the pain of everyone who is awake right now because someone or something cant get out of their head, i feel all their pain. but at the same time i feel so much happiness about how life works, that nothing goes as planned and that we are constantly having to think on our toes in order to keep spinning in tune with the earth, i feel all the happiness of the people who are awake right now living their best life feeling free and moving so fast that the world can hardly keep up, i feel all their happiness. and the lovers sadness is mixed with the frees happiness and its all clashing inside me and i can tell that a storm is brewing between the two and ill wake up tomorrow morning and either the storm will have passed and i will be left with one of the emotions taking dominance or i will wake up in the middle of the storm and have the day be trying to figure out who wins. but those are all tomorrow things, right now the two emotions haven't faced off yet, the storm is queuing up and i have this tremendous sense of peace, like no matter how bad i fuck things up that everything will be all right. at 2;36 in the morning i am experiencing the calm before the hurricane

2:36 am