#not that she should just shut up abt it it just never gets easier despite how long its been

[sunlightandsuffering]

Mikasa getting insecure abt her body (smth abt her boobs being too small or her feeling like she looks like a man) and refuses to have sex cuz she’s scared eren might be disgusted by her but when they finally do he’s absolutely whipped and make sure to give her extra praises too🥺

😭😭 bestie Mikasa's boobs being too small??? oh god 😂😂 okay for once in my life I'm going to do this not in a modern AU, look at me go lol. also I was never really sure if they had bras in AOT 😂😂 so like were going with chest wrapping for the purpose of this fic lol.

Mikasa hates her boobs.

She's always hated her boobs, for varying reasons, but right now she really fucking hates her god damn boobs.

They've always been problematic, but this is just icing on the cake.

When she was younger, they'd been nothing but small buds, which was to be expected during puberty, she'd spent endless amounts of time wondering if they'd ever grow, if that's what boys found attractive? If that's what it would take for Eren to see her as a woman rather than as this irritating older sister figure.

When she'd had the time and hadn't been worrying about Eren causing trouble or helping Carla out with chores, she'd fantasized that maybe one day she'd blossom into a beautiful woman and Eren would fall head over heels in love with her. Some ridiculous fantasy all little girls have, that one day when she's older more mature, a far off dream, she'll be beautiful and Eren will be forced to look at her with a wanting eye rather than his usual disdain.

But now, here she is in her far off dream, finally a grown woman, old enough to fight in the military at least and with the figure she'd always dreamed of. Only now it's nothing more than a hindrance, and contrary to her previous hopes and dreams Eren seems to have no interest. Her skills as a soldier interest him more than her breasts do. She glares at her chest in the mirror, trying to bind it down farther, they stick out so much, they're too big and she wants to cry. Her uniforms never fit properly, they give her back problems, and one day she's afraid some sort of wayward projectile is going to hit them, they stick out so god damn far.

It's a sick cosmic joke, where she used to dream of a full figure, the stuff the older women used to talk about, how they'd gossip when she went into town with Carla, she's achieved exactly what she wants to. Now she wants nothing more than to ask Hange how to cut them off, if it's possible, remove them with a scalpel herself.

Yet, the part of her that's not pragmatic and hungering for Eren's affection likes them, she thinks objectively her gentle curves are pleasing to the eye, and she knows even if Eren doesn't seem at all intrigued, other men definitely are. However, this is also the part of her that hates her muscles, despite their use in keeping her alive, she dislikes how bulky they are, how her abs are just as good as Eren's she feels manly.

Basically, Mikasa both hates and loves her body for a variety of reasons, and she's constantly at war with how she feels about it. She huffs as she sits down, taking off her bindings and letting her chest spill free from her top, letting out a sigh of relief as she's released from her constraints.

This is the best part of her day and for a second Mikasa lays back on her bed, topless and boobs out, hands splayed above her, happy to be free from the irritating fabric. She closes her eyes for a moment, letting her guard down for the briefest of seconds, going over today's events in her head, how Eren will never in his life see her as a woman. She lets out an aggravated sigh, he's so irritating, she loves him, she loves him so much, and he's such a stubborn brat.

She nods off a little bit, her exhaustion taking over, so by the time she tunes back into the world around her it's too late. "Mikasa, are you in there, Mikasa!?" Eren's tell-tale calls of her name should have her up sooner, make for a quicker reaction, but by the time she really processes that he's nearby and looking for her the door is already open and her eyes fly up to find the object of her affections staring at her. Well not her, rather her chest, those brilliant viridians are glued to her chest, roving over her figure and she feels hot, exposed as Eren's eyes take on a different gleam she's never seen before. She's quite sure it's desire she sees in his eyes, and well maybe she's a little slower to bring her hands up to cover herself than she should be, she likes that look in his eyes. "Eren!"

His green eyes snap up to meet hers as her hands move to cover her chest finally, and he looks guilty, face flushed and breathing a little hard.

"Umm sorry, we're just eating soon so I thought I'd come get you." "Yeah, okay."

She chooses not to acknowledge the elephant in the room, it's better they just pretend it didn't happen. But her heart is thumping against her chest and she knows she'll never forget it. She moves to grab her discarded bindings, annoyed she'll have to put them on again and Eren finally startles enough to leave the room, shutting the door behind him with a thump and looking altogether to distracted.

She's venting to Sasha about the state of her figure one day in the dining room, cursing away her stupid chest.

"They get in the way all the time, they don't look nice in anything." "Well at least you have some, mine are practically nonexistent." "You can have them," Mikasa responds, "I hate my boobs."

Their conversation is interrupted by a very obvious choking sound and the two girls look up to notice Eren in the doorway holding a snack and looking scandalized. Mikasa wants to die, turning away from him, she's so embarrassed. The 'incident' as she's come to refer to it wasn't even that long, and now he's heard her talk about how much she hates her breasts, what more could go wrong in her life.

Eren leaves before he even enters the room, "I'm just going to go."

He stumbles out and Mikasa buries her head in her hands, why is she so unlucky?

It happens again a week later, when Eren yet again refuses to knock, waltzing right into her bedroom while she's midway through wrapping her bindings and it's enough to shock her into letting out a little shriek.

"Sorry!" Eren quickly turns around but it's a bit late she has to start binding her chest all over again. "Umm, it's okay, what do you need?"

She unwraps her chest, about to start again when Eren takes her sentence as his cue to turn around, which it is definitely not. "Eren!"

"Sorry, sorry, I thought you were done." "No!"

It's quiet for a moment as Mikasa is about to start yet again, for the third time, and then Eren speaks, "Do you um need any help?" Not exactly, but it is easier to do it with someone helping her, she's just used to doing it by herself.

Mikasa bites her lip, she's having particular difficulty today, maybe it's not the worst thing if he helps her. "If you want to, that would be great but don't worry about it, I can do it myself." "No! I'll help!"

Mikasa can't help but think he was a little too excited by the prospect.

She wraps one part of the fabric to cover herself a little bit, holding it in place as Eren turns around. He's all too eager, "Okay what do you need me to do?" "I'm going to hold this piece here, just wrap it, and make it tight, I don't want it to come undone." So that's exactly what Eren does, in intimate silence he wraps the fabric tightly around her breasts, asking every so often if it's too tight, to which she shakes her head. His fingers brush her sides and her nipples harden under the fabric as his hands skim her boobs while he continues to wrap. When he's done they sit in comfortable silence as he uses the clips she gives him to set the wrap. She thinks he'll just leave but to her surprise he looks her in the eye, hands drifting down her sides to fall back to his lap, and making her shiver. "Don't hate them Mikasa. They're really pretty."

He pats her thigh affectionately and tugs at her scarf before he leaves, making her brain explode completely.

#lys's drabbles

[angrylizardjacket]

only fools {Dominique Beyrand}

Summary: You’re in love with Roger’s new girlfriend. Is it easier to pretend you don’t have feelings or come clean? You say both, eventually! The truth is bittersweet.

A/N: 4331 words. ANGST!! I don’t know much abt Dominique so this is based 100% on borhap, tho there’s a few bits abt the band from real life, but its borhap based for the most part. i hope you like it!! i’m pretty sure the reader is gender neutral, but there may be 1 or 2 female pronouns accidentally. there’s mentions of cheating.

----

You’ve been friends with Queen for arguably too long, know them now in excruciating and almost intimate detail, and are absolutely immune to their various charms and stardom. It started in university, with you as a popular radio jockey on campus, and living in a flat around the corner from Freddie and Roger’s little market stall in Kensington. 

You know of their band, of course, you’ve always got your ear to the ground for local talent, and you jokingly tell them that if they ever get an album together, you’d be the the first to play it. A year and a half later, they hold you to that. 

When they’re making it big in the mid-70s, and you’ve scored your own show on an actual radio station, they start turning to you when they want to release a single, or give an interview, and people start asking why. You simply shrug and smile, which is easier than explaining that you’d spent a good deal of your second year of uni bothering Freddie and Roger at their stall instead of doing your homework, and somehow that became a friendship, and now you and John have tea every Monday afternoon, and Brian tried to teach you guitar once, but ended up waxing poetic about his thesis when you noted that his desk was rather messy.

So yes, you know them rather well, since the start of the band’s musical career, in fact, and have witness, and occasional party to, some of their dumber, post-gig antics, which has given you both regrets, and immunity to their antics. Never again will you be Roger’s look out when he climbs to a third story balcony for a girl - he lost a shoe on the second floor and it hit you in the back of the head. Prick. 

Which makes it rather unfortunate that you’ve taken such a liking to his latest girlfriend. At first you tell yourself that it’s simple and platonic appreciation for another individual with a head on their shoulders, that you liked her in the same way that you like John or Brian when they were being sensible. When you go out with the band, which isn’t a lot these days, but still it’s enough, she seems to make a point of including you, of smiling at you like a friend though you barely know each other. 

Always, she is by Roger’s side, and you think this is the first time you’ve seen him properly smitten, which makes it ache, in such a strange way, when she smiles back at him. You’ve never felt like this over Chrissie, or Veronica, or Mary. But you push it down, and when they invite you to go to their concerts, you find yourself in the wings by her side, and you dance with her at the afterparties when she offers her hand, and she invites you to lunch to catch up every few weeks.

It’s perfectly harmless, you tell yourself as you actively repress the strange sort of desire she unknowingly elicits from you. 

There’s something about her, beyond a pretty face, and a vicious smile, more than her sharp wit and dangerously intoxicating perfume, like she could ask you to walk over hot coals and you’d crawl to make her happy.

When she laughs over lunch, like actually laughs, full-bellied, head thrown back, glowing in the afternoon sunshine at something you’d said, you suddenly remember every stupid and horny antic Roger has ever been party to, often at the expense of whatever girl he was meant to be seeing at the time, and you want to tell Dominique to run fast and far, to try and protect her. But Roger’s told you he’s changed, that he’s in love, and you grit your teeth.

You’re kind of fucked.

And there’s no-one in your life who you can talk to without being judged for feeling like this. 

So you take what you can get. 

You go out with the band when they invite you, you catch up with Dom often when they go on tour, and you realise, with a strange and painful clarity, that she’s become your best friend.

“How come you’ll agree to help Dom with shenanigans, but not me?” Roger plays at being jealous of your not-so-secret favoritism, his arm around Dominique in a hotel bar that had been closed for a private, Queen function, currently buzzing with the band members, their various significant others, members of the press, members of their tour group, and management team. And you. 

You and Dominique share an amused, almost conspiratorial look. 

“Because I actually like her,” you tell Roger, flatly, and he raises is eyebrows when you look back at him. You don’t miss Dominique’s pleased little smile that she hides in her glass.

“That’s just about the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he shakes his head, clearly not actually taking your words to heart, but you huff a laugh.

“And her shenanigans never landed me in the emergency room -”

“Hey, I was the one with the sprained ankle -”

“You acted like you were dying, Rog,” you sighed deeply, “you tried to bribe me to run a red light,” and Dominique gives her boyfriend a surprised, vaguely judgmental look as Roger quickly turned pink.

“I was in grave pain.”

“Darling, you are a grave pain,” Dominique told him sweetly, and Roger pressed his hand to his chest, scandalised. 

“Et tu, my love?” 

But Dominique’s looking at him all fond and sappy when she tells him that you’ve got a point; you excuse yourself right as Roger lowers his voice and reminds her that there’s times she seems to think he’s pretty great, voice laced with heavy innuendo. 

You’re discussing the band’s latest album with their sound tech when Dominique finds you again, looking recently debauched, lips all kiss-bruised despite her fresh coat of lipstick. You quietly and desperately wish you would have been the cause of her unkempt state, the sight alone making you want to do unseemly things to her. 

“Sorry about that, Roger had a point to prove,” she says lightly, as if nothing had happened, and she snakes her arm through yours as she joins the conversation.

“Did he prove it?” You asked flatly, if only to play along for her benefit. Her cheeks flushed for a moment as she cleared her throat, looking over her shoulder.

“Twice,” she had to try and hide her grin from the scandalized sound tech. When you followed her gaze, your eyes met Roger’s; he’s so damn smug. You felt like you were going to put your fist through a wall.

The next time you caught up with Dom, however, a few days later, she apologises again, looking guilty for reasons you can’t quite understand.

“Why are you apologising? You didn’t do anything wrong,” you assured her, gently putting your hands on hers over the table; when she meets your gaze over the table, she blinks quickly, processing the information. 

“I just felt like I should,” even she doesn’t know why she’s apologising again, “it wasn’t... it was inappropriate.” She finally settles on, and you give a fond, if longsuffering smile.

“When’s Roger ever appropriate at a party?”

“I suppose,” she still looks unsure, however, but the waiter comes over and the ordeal is forgotten. 

Except that it’s not. There’s something new in the way she looks at you, almost hesitant, faintly apologetic, and even a little confused. It’s not something you’re used to, Dominique’s always been endlessly confident and forthright, she’s never been cautious in the history of your friendship.

“I’m worried you think less of me,” she says, blunt as always, when you finally ask what’s wrong.

“Dom, nothing you could do would ever make me think less of you,” you tell her with probably too much honesty. After a moment spent mulling your words over, she moves closer on your plush little sofa, until her leg pressed flush against yours.

“I care about you a great deal,” she tells you, with her own sudden burst of honesty, “and it’s been rough with Roger on tour; I don’t think I could have gotten through it half as well without you,” and she’s looking at you, almost nothing in her expression, like she’s gauging your reaction to let her know how to feel about all of this. 

You’re absolutely terrified she can read every feeling and emotion as it passes through you at her words, and the I want to kiss you to make you shut up about your stupid boyfriend that’s flashing like a neon sign at the front of your brain. 

“I care about you too,” is what you manage after a beat of panicked hesitation, trying not to act as flustered as you feel. Her smile is warm and confident, however, and she thanks you gently, turning back to the TV that had become white noise in your ears. You spend a good few moments more just watching her, wondering what that was all about, before she leans against you, and you just kind of have to accept it.

But there’s something different now, a new energy between you both when you spend time together; she’s more tactile, more prone to staying with you at events, more likely to pick you, you realise.

“Are you trying to steal my girlfriend?” Roger once jokes, and you try not to let your panic show.

“If I was, you’d deserve it,” you laugh, but his expression scrunches up, reading the insult and implications in your words. You get the feeling Roger doesn’t much like you anymore.

But Dominique’s skin is always warm against yours, her hand in yours when strolling about the city, and you get lost in her perfume and her laughter, and some nights she comes over while Roger’s away, and you get tipsy together while watching TV or listening to music, and she’ll curl into your touch and whisper you’re too good to me like it’s a guilty secret the rest of the world can’t hear. She sleeps on your sofa rather than going home to the luxurious, empty bed she shares with Roger, and in the morning you wake to her humming and making breakfast. 

There’s something so domestic about it, and she’ll smile at you, sipping tea in the kitchen, and your heart will melt. 

You want to be allowed to love her, but Roger will always come home. 

Once, twice, a slow song will play on the radio, and she’ll ask you to dance, wrapping herself up in you as you sway in your living room, both of you drunk on a Sunday evening, her breathing slow and even, her eyes closed, and you wonder what she’s picturing. Maybe her boyfriend. Fiancé. Fuck.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that it takes her hands holding your face to register that you’d both stopped moving. Her smile is soft, eyes warm.

“You’d look beautiful in a ball gown,” she says with quiet adoration, and before you can process that that was what she was thinking, your body’s moved of it’s own accord, and you’re kissing her. 

And she’s kissing you back, tasting like wine and fruit, lips soft and gentle, fitting against yours perfectly. She sighs softly against your lips, hands coming to fist in the collar of your shirt as she pulls you closer and I love you tumbles involuntarily from your lips. She pauses.

“I know,” her voice is gently apologetic, barely more than a whisper, “I’m sorry.” You can see she wants to say more, wants to kiss you again, like she wants to live in this moment before it had suddenly turned sour. Her I love you too goes unspoken, but she cups your face in her hands again, thumbs running across your cheeks, across the sudden, faint shock and sorrow written in your expression. She doesn’t step back, she doesn’t even try. 

“I should go.”

“Do you want to go?” You ask, voice soft, the words barely registering to your own ears. There’s a long moment of silence as she considers, weighs her options, hesitates before kissing you again. It hurts, it’s a uniquely masochistic form of torture you’re putting yourself through, but she stays, and the next day you both act like nothing happened.

She’ll make breakfast, smile at you over tea, and in a few months, she’ll marry Roger. 

You’re not invited to the wedding, and part of you is grateful. 

“Aren’t you going to tell me not to go through with it?” She half jokes over coffee a few days before, which shocks you.

“Why?” You’re concerned rather than amused, and she looks a little guilty when she meets your gaze.

“I- do you... still have feelings for me?” She asks, uncertain, and you sigh deeply, sitting back in your chair.

“Do you love Roger, Dom?”

“Of course,” she answers immediately, a little defensive, which seems strange given the situation, but she thaws and takes a long sip of her drink, “I do, I really do.” She admits, sounding almost disappointed in herself.

“Then it doesn’t matter what I feel; do what makes you happy.” You’ve come to terms with the fact that you’d lost to Roger a long time ago; brief affair aside, you don’t want to make Dominique question her world so close to her happy ending. 

So you pointedly don’t ask how she feels about you.

According to the photos in the tabloid, it’s a beautiful wedding, and Dominique and Roger make a picture perfect couple. You spend three days in your house, wrapped in a blanket in front of your TV; you don’t take the phone off the hook in case work calls, but Dom’s on her honeymoon, so you’re not expecting to get any calls from her. 

There’s a full month of radio silence while she’s being whisked off to somewhere romantic, and it’s the longest the two of you have gone without talking since you’d met. The minute she gets back, however, she calls and asks you to lunch, but hesitates, adding that if you didn’t want to -

“Of course I want to!” You’re delighted to hear from her, and only realise once you hang up how much it’s going to hurt. 

Her wedding ring catches the light and you want to immediately flee to the Scottish highlands and become a goat farmer and never talk to another living person again at the sight of it. You smile, and hug her in greeting.

You talk about work, both yours and hers, and about how Freddie’s buying a mansion in London, and how cute John’s kids are, and about everything but the very recent wedding she’d gone through, or the husband she now has.

This time, when you take her hand to traverse the city together, you feel the cold metal of her wedding ring, and something inside you dies, just a little. It’s like she can tell, however, because she immediately skirts around you to take your other hand, tucking you close. And you let her. Every time, you let her. 

Nothing happens between you both, nothing like before, but she still comes over when Roger’s on tour, still sleeps on your sofa, still spends time with you around her busy work schedule, and it hurts to see her hurting, when she gets tired and lets slip about the rumours she’s heard. Apart from one night, she’s practically been a saint to the drummer; his record, however does not appear to be so clean. But she puts on a brave face, and he always comes home.

Freddie throws a party in the early eighties, dressed in a crown and cape, he’s invited everyone remotely outlandish in London, so it seems, and of course his band, and you. You find them all on a cluster of gilded sofas, looking already worn out by the whole affair, despite everyone partying around them. But Dominique brightens when she sees you, and pulls you in to the conversation. Roger, already in a mood, does not even look at you as the rest of the band greets you warmly where you’ve perched on the arm of the sofa by Dominique, her free hand coming up to rest on your thigh. 

They’re teasing Roger about his car song again, which you refrain from, not that you don’t love teasing him about that ridiculous song, but you’re also pretty sure that if you speak to him, he’ll throw his drink at you. 

But Freddie joins them, too exuberant by half for the muted mood of the band amidst the partygoers, and Roger’s ready to leave when Freddie makes a comment that turns your blood to ice.

“Loyalty’s so important, don’t you think Dominique?” 

The world around you fades away to her reaction. No-one’s looking at you, they’re all looking to Roger, because it’s an implicit confirmation of the hoards of rumours Dominique’s been trying to live in denial regarding. 

“Watch it,” Roger warns his bandmate, and Dominique looks pissed, but for the barest moment, she casts her gaze over her shoulder, to you, and you can read the heartbreak in her eyes. 

You wish you’d told her to run years ago after all. 

You wish you’d never believed that Roger had changed.

You wish you’d told her not to go through with the wedding.

You wish a lot of things in that moment. 

But there’s no time, and she’s gone with Roger, both of them furious for different reasons, while your heart lays beating in the seat she’d just left. Looking around, your head is full of a fog in the wake of Freddie’s words, and their departure, and it’s like no-one else can see that your whole world has gone to Hell.

“I need to stay with you,” Dominique calls you the next day, sniffling, and you’re agreeing readily, asking if she needs a lift over. 

She brings a suitcase, and a tearful apology for barging in like this. You wrap her up in a hug, telling her not to worry, that it’s not a bother and she bursts into tears. You order food and wrap her up in a blanket, and stay by her side until she falls asleep against your shoulder. You carry her into bed, tuck her in, and then grab your jacket and go out.

“I should kick your ass,” you snarl after Roger finally lets you in where you’d been kicking at his front door. He looks disheveled, but not like he’d been sleeping, like he’d been crying.

“Are you here for the rest of her things?” He asks flatly, and you do actually shove him, hard enough that he hits the ground and slides against the tiles.

“You stupid, insensitive fucking asshole!” You yell, fuming, “get up, Roger, get up!” You demand, and he does, slowly.

“I’m not going to fight you; you won, okay? She hates me -”

“And she has every right to, don’t play the fucking victim here, don’t try and act like you weren’t the one to sleep your way across the world while you knew she was waiting for you!” Your lip trembled at the thought of all the late nights you’d spent comforting her, reassuring her that it was just the tabloids taking things out of context, “she loved you so fucking much, you stupid fucking slut!” He laughed humorlessly at that, sitting back down on the ground, knees drawn up to his chest.

“We haven’t loved each other for a long time now.”

“That’s not true.”

“She loves you.” 

“That’s not true.” There’s a wobble to your voice, your fraught emotions turning quickly to desperation. 

“I know you slept together,” he says, finally looking at you, and your mouth snaps shut. He doesn’t seem mad, he doesn’t seem... anything. It’s just a fact, no malice behind it. “She told me the day after it happened,” he paused, “and I told her it was okay, told her I did similar stuff in my youth, but if we loved each other, we’d have to be better people, for each other.”

“And she loved you,” you said with dawning despair, realising what he was implying. He nods, gaze drifting, as if not quite registering everything that was happening, “but you...”

“By my own logic, I was already falling out of love; I was a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite.”

“You’re self aware,” you said, sitting down as the fight left you.

“Not really, she yelled it a good deal at me yesterday. She’s right, though.” He takes a deep breath, resting his chin on his knees as he stares at the other wall. “We used to be friends,” he muses and you hum in response, “we used to be a lot of things; young, broke, nobodies, friends.” He lists, and you agree quietly, “I think I knew you would be better for her, even from the start.”

“You knew I loved her from the start?” You ask, not even trying to deny it, and Roger looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m not blind,” he tells you with surprising bitterness, and you clam up at that, “but she loves you because you’re still here, even though she loved me too.”

“Because I’m an idiot,” you mutter, shaking your head.

“Probably,” he agrees, and when you make an indignant noise, he gives a flat look, “you didn’t talk her out of marrying me even though you’re in love with her.” He reminds.

“I never want to be the cause of her unhappiness,” you explain softly, mirroring his sitting position, your chin on your knees. Roger nods, “but you hurt her, and I came here to kick your ass.”

“Will you love her like she deserves?” He asks softly.

“If she wants to come back to you, I won’t stop her.”

“You love her better than I ever could,” Roger says with realisation. You’re not going to disagree with him.

When you get home, she’s still asleep in your bed, and you curl up on the sofa, restless all through the night. Dominique wakes in the morning, and comes out, sees your eyes open, rough from sleeplessness, and tears well in her own as all the memories from yesterday come flooding back. 

“Do you want breakfast?” You ask, voice rough, and she nods. You stand, and head to the kitchen, moving automatically around the little space. She watches, quiet eyes, unsmiling, contemplative, but she’s not crying. 

“What do you want to do today?” You hear yourself asking, voice carefully neutral. 

“Do you... do you still love me?”

You freeze. It takes a moment, but you finally look at her, expression blank. 

“I don’t think this is the time-”

“You’re always telling me to do what makes me happy, asking me what I want, what do you want?”

“I want you to be happy,” you tell her softly; her eyes are getting misty, but she’s still not satisfied with that answer.

“I want you to think about yourself for once; what do you want?”

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment as you try to organise your thoughts. 

“I want to be able to tell you I love you, and not have you hesitate to say it back -” you admit, but she cuts you off, words quick.

“I love you.”

“I -”

“I love you.”

“Dominique -”

“I love you, and I have for years. I love you.”

“Then why did you marry Roger?!” You finally explode, and her eyes go wide, before he gaze drops to the counter with shame.

“Because I thought it was what I was meant to do; I cared about him a great deal, but we- we weren’t meant for each other. I don’t love him like I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”

“I don’t want you to be saying this just because you just broke up with him and you’re looking for a rebound or a safety net,” you admit, and she looks at you with a calculating gaze, understanding your hesitation, “I do love you, Dom, and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like, but I don’t want to be with you until you’ve had time to process everything that’s happening. You need time. You’re not in your right mind.”

Dominique swallows hard, nodding very seriously. Her gaze is intense as she watches you get back to making breakfast. Silence hangs in the air, strange, undefinable silence laced with emotions like static electricity. 

“Can I kiss you? Just once?” She asks, and you look at her over your shoulder, spatula in one hand, a warning in your voice when you say her name, “just once.” She promises, eyes wide and the barest of smiles on her lips. You could never say no to that smile. You turn down the stove for just a moment, and step up to the counter, leaning over it to meet her. 

Kissing her feels like coming home and freedom at the same time, and she’s warm when she brings her hand up to your cheek, humming with tentative joy against your lips. When you pull back, you let yourself linger, just inches from her, getting lost in her eyes, in her smile for the barest moment.

“Would you like me to make tea?” She asks, soft, grinning.

“Would love that,” you agree, a little breathless, stepping back to the stove. 

“I don’t...” she paused by the refrigerator, “I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to make sense of this, my whole life, I...”

“That’s why we’re waiting; if I’m not what you want, if you go a different direction, if you just wanna be single for a few years and end up meeting someone else, I’ll respect that,” you assure her, “but if I am what you want, Dom I’d wait forever for you.”

#dominique beyrand #roger taylor #dominique beyrand x reader #dominique beyrand imagine #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #queen imagine #queen fanfic #queen fanfiction #the angry lizard writes

[youmeanlove]

UM. i litrally havnt written in abt 1 year so pls........ this is jus a rough draft i didnt edit 2 remind me that i know english i promise ill get betterHFJKSF if any of u say anything mean ill straight up hijack a yacht and crash it. put me on a list governmence....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. my insert is dominik bc i cant handle using my own name in this kinda stuff 

“You know...I don’t think we ever had a prom.”

“Huh? Yeah, we did. It was, uh..with the dinosaurs, or somethin’. ‘Run With, uh...The Guys’—“

“Walk with the Promosaurs - No, I mean we had one, but..” Dominik propped himself up off the bed on an elbow. He quickly grew tired of the ‘effort’ and flopped back onto Matt’s chest. “Like..we never had one.”

Matt winced at the sudden impact of his whole ass boyfriend on his whole ass solar plexus before resuming his ever-present grumpy squint at the sun peeking through his blinds. “....What, did you want to go? You said it was-“ he used the hand not trapped beneath his boyfriend to tug at the collar of his hoodie, putting on a more nasal tone of voice for an abhorrent impersonation of his boyfriend. “ - ’Just some exhibitionist fantasy for all the student body kids to guh-guh-grind on each other for an hour’.”

Dominik quickly slapped Matt’s hand away, expression feigning one of serious offense. “I don’t s..sound like that!” His hesitation only encouraged Matt’s laughter and Dominik shifted even more of his weight onto THAT GUY, making sure his hip was especially bony in Matt’s side. “I stand by that! but why should we miss out on a good time just cause the kids w-uh..with the pom poms won’t shut up?”

“Not going was your idea, poser! ‘ts not like we woulda danced anyway.” A pause. “Too lame.”

A lopsided frown crept its way onto Dominik’s face, despite the giggles bubbling up as Matt shoved his hand beneath his hip. For cushioning. Duh. “We so would have danced...It-“ The bang of a door closing downstairs startled the both of them before they has a chance to say more. At least for a minute or two.

Once they could breathe again (Run-ins with either of the boys’ families never proved the best when the two were together) Dominik gave Matt’s forehead a pat and rolled back onto his side, cheek mushed into a pillow.

“We so would have danced,” he repeated. “Like.. check it.” His hands moved to take Matt’s, fingers interlocking as he pulled their arms side to side. “That we are living! In a material world! And I am a m..material girl!” Matt’s immediate protests were cut off with an even louder tone deaf serenade. “Only boys that somethin’ pennies somethin’ somethin’ day-ay!”

It was only a few seconds before Matt started to mumble along, head bopping as best as he could from his position on the bed. He shifted closer to Dom - close enough that they both had to cross their eyes to see each other. “Li-ving. In a material. World.” His voice was rough from misuse and soft-spokenness, but Madonna wouldn’t care. She probably would, actually, but Matt could care less about Madonna! Or something like that. “If you really care that much, we could go next year.” He attempted to pull Dominik’s hands in the opposite direction. “We’d have to flunk this year, though. Do a repeat.”

“How romantic,” Dominik teased. “Failing all his classes, just f-for me and my slow dance. I’d do that for you. Probably. ‘cause I like you.” Matt opted out of a response - Out loud, at least. The blush creeping up to his cheeks told a different story - with another hum. “Or we could sneak in..That’ll be easier.”

“Gettin’ attacked by a school security g..guard is way easier, yeah.”

“I mean..I’d totally get arrested for your prom. ‘cause I like you, too.”

UHHH AND THEN THEY LIKE FUCKING DIE OR WHATEVER I GUESS BYE LOL.dont look at me.....

#I LITEARLLY OKAY. i say this abt everything i post but i rly geninely have #.2% confidence in my writing bc im like. stupidKJHFSJKF so pls #i just wrote this bc i was listneign to madonna thats IT ILL CRY. #this is my fear factor bitch #my writing #ship: post acid #*like thros up and dies*

[themockingcrows]

Whisper Just For Me Ch. 15: Reunion

This chapter is SFW! This chapter is also available mirrored on my AO3.

Just having someone back in your presence doesn't always mean they're really there, especially when that someone is a ghost. How much of Dave is with you, and how much of him was affected by your time apart? Is it really a reunion when only one person is aware of the reuniting?

    Your dreams were empty. You were holding out hope that Dave would visit you, would talk with you, would get rid of the lingering worry that clung to your mind like a sticky veil of spiderwebs. Instead you got repeats of different scenarios you've had in the past, strange distortions of shadow and light, a strange sequence of trying to buy a set of pants from a food stall only to find they didn't have your size, and your father trying to pass off one of his finest hats to you after it had been coated in peanut butter, blending the symbolic niceties of adulthood and achievement with a death threat. If you believed in omens it probably would have meant a lot. Good thing you don't believe in it without a gut feeling and the only feelings it gave you were confusion and a stomach ache.

    You woke with your hand instinctively curled around the pendant as if trying to keep it warm, despite the material being plenty warm in your hand already, a reminder of who dwelled within it. Good, he was making some reactions now aside from just a loose sensation of presence.

    “...Dave?” you said quietly, a sleepy murmur. “Dave, can you hear me in there?”

    Silence.

    “...Dave, I'm so sorry for what happened. If I was even remotely aware anything like that was going to happen I'd have done everything different somehow. I'm just glad we got there in time.”

    More silence, but the warmth in your hand didn't diminish. Dave was definitely still in there. Maybe he was sleeping in too.

    Your phone let out a few familiar tones to signal you had messages coming in, rapid fire texts that had you wondering just how many people were texting you at once till you could get at it and turn the screen on with a press of the button along the side. ...Huh. Okay, five texts in a row from a number you were sleepy enough to not recognize as Rose's for a moment.. No, six, your phone chimed again in your palm to try making you scroll down. Okay, maybe you wouldn't have recognized it was from Rose's number right away anyway, this was definitely not her normal way of texting.

    TT: hey when you get this cn u like txt me back asap

    TT: *can

    TT: its roxy rose said i should hit u up again to like

    TT: check in and shit about what happened

    TT: srry for treating u like u two were gonna rob me blind but 2 be fair u were acting creepy

    TT: is that ghost thing okay btw or is that not a gr8 thing to ask

    Another few chimes as you were trying to formulate how to even reply, which left you marveling at the speed with which she could text. Was he okay? He still wasn't talking or glowing or.. much of anything beyond keeping the pendant warm. He wouldn't do that if he was sick right? ...Wait, do ghosts even get sick? What was the right word for this. Exhaustion? Strained? It couldn't last forever, he'd be back to normal soon surely.

    TT: srry not ghost thing i guess i mean dave

    TT: rose filled me in a bit but it still dsnt make much sense

    TT: guess it makes more sense than me goin crzy tho

    TT: *crazy lol

    Yeah, no shit. Even this deep in everything there were times you worried you were just actually crazy and none of this unbelievable mess was real at all. Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you pushed yourself to sit upright in bed, put on your glasses, and started to slowly type out a reply with your pointer finger.

    EB: hey, yeah, i'm here. sorry, i just woke up.

    TT: o shit my bad lol

    EB: no, it's no problem. thanks for getting in contact though. and sorry for uh.

    EB: you know.

    EB: barging into your apartment and alerting you to the whole concept of ghosts i guess?

    TT: like i said dont worry abt it

    TT: im just glad everythins back to normal in here

    TT: I hadnt realized just how weird the place felt till now

    TT: muties finally able to chillax again

    EB: i'm still kind of amazed you believed us at all, but if you'd been feeling things for a while then i guess that would all just kind of line up, huh.

    TT: just another day in the bullshit mines

    TT: rose talks about stuff like this a lot but i kinda never rlly believed her

    TT: hindsight 2020 foot does not taste gr8

    You grinned at your phone and let the screen go dim once more before stuffing it into the pocket of some sweatpants you then wrangled on. Might as well not delay the inevitable and just get up. It took a few more tries than usual to get up, fatigue weighing heavy in your bones, but get up you eventually did to shuffle to the kitchen. A banana wound up in your other pocket, keeping your hands free for motoring around to thump down on the sofa. Jade perked up soon as you went down, shuffling her legs to get your weight off her feet and poking a head full of sleep wild hair out from underneath the throw.

    “...S'it morning..?”

    “Yeah. Or later, I didn't look at the time,” you admit, pulling your phone out of your pocket to peek as the banana was yanked out in a dual wielding motion. You bit the standing end of the banana and tipped it sideways till the peel cracked, making it easier to open one handed. Wisely, you waited till you had a bit mouth full of fruit to try talking more. “Closer to noon it look like. Oh, and Roxy wrote.”

    “How'd she get your number?” Jade asked. She crawled to the floor to get at her purse, rummaging around for a brush to start taming the mass down enough to apply some strategically placed hair ties.

    “Oh, no, she was writing from Rose's phone. I guess they met up today in one way or another? She said everything feels better at her place so.. I guess that at least shows Dave didn't dislodge somehow or anything.”

    “Has he.. y'know. Said anything?”

    You frowned and took another bite of banana, then another till it was gone, delaying as if the extra few seconds stalled would somehow give Dave enough incentive to interact again. No such luck.

    “No. Nothing.. Oh! But the pendant's warm! He's definitely in there, just..”

    Just what. Just tired? Just ghost broken? Did ghosts get sick? You sank down further in the sofa and let your leg slide further along the floor with a heavy sigh. This sucked. This really, really sucked.

    “...I wish I knew enough about what was happening to fix it.”

    “We could always ask Rose if you want. She seems to have good ideas on this stuff, maybe she'd understand what was happening,” said Jade, opening up a compact mirror to check and see if the low segmented pigtails were a good look that day. Verdict was a resounding yes from the way she snapped it shut with a happy grin and dropped the supplies back into the bag. “Or we can just wait and see what he does next on his own.”

    “You make me sound like a helicopter parent when you put things like that, Jade.”

    “Helicopter boyfriend.”

    “Helicopter whatever! Same thing!”

    “I mean-”

    “You know that's not what I meant,” you frowned. “I just want to do what's best by him. I'm kind of responsible for him now, and I already fucked that up in a big way. Getting him back's like a second chance, but I can't do the second chance right from the very beginning if something's wrong.”

    “Then call Rose,” shrugged Jade as she got up from the floor and sauntered off to pilfer breakfast from your fridge.

    “Yeah but what if that just makes it worse somehow, what if we're supposed to wait for something to happen!”

    “John either call her, let me call her, or shut up and relax! Holy shit, it's not the world ending, it's either getting more potential information from a verified source of accurate information, or making our own estimations based on study and other information sources. It's as if you've never heard of a reasonable hypothesis before,” she grumbled, then disappeared around the corner.

    You frowned the way she went.

    “You could've at least taken my banana peel with you!”

    “Fuck your banana peel, you've got a leg and two arms that aren't broken!”

    You immediately stuck your tongue out in her direction, already knowing she couldn't see it, but hoping she could feel your rankle even through the wall. Heaving another sigh, reveling in the dramatic for a moment, you turn your attention to your phone once more. It hadn't pinged again to signal an incoming flurry from Roxy, so you assumed it'd be safe to call Rose now. Jade was right. She'd probably know what to do.

    The phone rang several times before you heard the familiar voice on the other line and smiled.

    “Hello?”

    “Rose?”

    “Obviously.”

    “Yeah. So. ..Uh.” Come on, spit it out, what if this was time sensitive or something? “Dave's home now... I think. But he's not talking or anything. No dream visits, no lights, no interacting with anything. The most he's done is warm the pendant up,” you start to explain. “I'm worried he's. I don't know. Sick? Exhausted? What happens now, how can I help fix him? I finally got him home but I can't even talk to him.”

    Everything had started as a trickle before finishing in a rush of stress balled up into English and launched out of your mouth like cannon fire. You held your breath, listening closely for a response.

    “Well.”

    ….Well that wasn't what you were hoping for. It takes effort to remain quiet and wait instead of pointing that out and being sarcastic. Stress sarcasm didn't tend to do the best things.

    “I think he likely just needs rest. Roxy already caught me up to everything that happened prior to and just after him leaving. It's possible he just expended way too much energy while apart from you and needs to rest now. Perhaps even sap energy from his surroundings.”

    You frowned and furrowed your brow in thought. It had felt harder to get out of bed today, but was that Dave already sapping from you, or was it just the reality of getting around on crutches for too long at a stretch?

    “Is there anything I can do to help though? I mean. I guess if he's going to be doing that draining thing while this tired, is there anything I can do to make it easier for him to do it?”

    You heard Rose sigh and the creak of whatever seat she was in.

    “Hm. Well, not exactly anything you can DO. Not strictly speaking at least. You can make yourself more open to him, perhaps. Leave yourself like an open door, let him get at you easier. Keep him in range obviously. Make sure you eat and sleep often enough, perhaps rest up and take things a little easier. Be the reserve battery.”

    You wet your lips and nodded, though obviously Rose couldn't see you. You hoped she'd get the feeling you nodded anyway.

    “Is there any way I'll be able to tell when he's back to normal?”

    “When he's back to scattering papers and bothering you, most likely,” Rose said, the soft sound of a chuckle flavoring her words. “But I think he'll make himself known when he's able to. The way you've talked about him makes it seem like he's probably just as excited to talk to you as you are to talk to him.”

    It was a comforting though. Another few nods you hoped Rose was able to detect happened as you tried to collect the rest of your thoughts.

    “When should I try telling him about the things Jade and I learned? About.. y'know, about his everything. His history and stuff.”

    Rose was quiet for a moment. You could almost picture her biting her lip, pale teeth on black lipstick that somehow never seemed to smudge or get spotty.

    “I'd recommend keeping your mouth shut about much of that until he's for certain stronger. It's hard to gauge his specific reaction, but the last thing you'd want to have happen is for the information to make him decide to go and then be unable to leave due to not having enough power.”

    “So.. I just need to be a good battery and wait for him, and then get to the nitty gritty when he's all recovered and back to obnoxiously normal.”

    “That's the gist of it, yes. Keep him close and in contact. Think of it as spoon feeding someone overtaken by illness while they recover.”

    “I'm already recovering, I think I can handle a bit more of the resting. Hah, might make Jade happy to finally get off my feet and just take it easy for a while longer.”

    She chuckled. “No doubt. I'd be interested to hear about your progress as things continue, actually. Will you be tracking things as you were before? That data is extremely useful to have on hand, it gives good insight on whether things that feel like they should work are actually beneficial. Who knows who might else wind up in a similar situation someday with a spirit and need to tend it before it can properly move on?”

    “You make it sound like opening a ghost infirmary or rehabilitation place is an option, Rose.”

    Another soft sound from the other end of the phone and far too long of a pause spanned silence till you laughed, awkward. “Rose. I was kidding.”

    “Yes. Kidding. Still an intriguing idea. I wonder if spiritual rehabilitation could work in the case of negative spirits as we-”

    “Rose, I'm gonna have to let you go for now,” you interrupted. “I'm sorry. I'll call back later on with updates, okay?”

    “Have Jade call me later, if you could?”

    “About Dave?”

    “No, to make dinner plans. I think her phone may be drained, it just goes straight to voice mail.”

    That wasn't like her. Maybe she turned it off instead of it dying. Either way, you nod and make a sound of confirmation just in case Rose wasn't psychic enough to understand just how earnestly you'd been nodding this entire time you'd been conversing.

    “Sure thing. Thanks again, Rose. And uh.. Rose?”

    “Yes?”

    “...Could you tell Roxy to send me a bill for what all she'd need to get her laptop running again? I feel like it'd probably be better if I paid or helped pay for a good chunk of that. Even if it was an accident, just. ..Yeah.”

    It was kind of the least you could do, considering someone innocent got caught in some pretty serious crossfire. Things could have easily given way to a fire, taken out the entire apartment building or gotten others killed.

    “I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Between that and her phone, I think her run of bad luck took a bit more out of her than she'd be willing to admit. I'll just pass her your email address and she'll forward something.” A soft chuckle. “If she doesn't, then I'll figure it out and send the information your way instead.”

    “Perfect. Thank you again, Rose.”

    You hung up as Jade was coming back in with a bowl of cereal loaded to the brim, sipping milk from the edge where it precariously sat just waiting to spill all over the floor. She cast a green eyed glance your way to be sure she wouldn't squash anything before sitting down beside you on the sofa to crunch away. Apparently the back and forth sassing hadn't left any lingering bad tastes in her mouth towards you, at least judging by how close and comfortable she sat.

    There was no mystery involved if Jade Harley was angry with you. You were very, very well aware.

    “Rose said to treat myself like a good little battery and just wait on him to make the most of it. Give her updates.. and she wants you to call for dinner plans? Your phone's apparently off.”

    Jade swallowed sideways and nearly choked on her cereal.

    “What? Fuck. I forgot I did that. Right, don't worry about it, I'll call her soon as I finish this. ...But that's it, huh?”

    “Apparently so. Take it easy, eat and sleep plenty, keep him close. I wonder if talking to him helps even if he can't respond yet. Would he be able to hear?”

    “If he's awake he'll hear. Maybe he's just not strong enough to respond and he's actually wide awake worrying? Talking is a good idea.”

    “Great, more excuses to talk to myself in public, exactly what I want.”

    “Truly, you lead a charmed life,” she said with a grandiose gesture of her spoon before popping more cereal into her face. The mood seemed reset now that your obligations were complete. You had solved the mystery of how Dave died, of his origins. You'd gotten Dave back, though you weren't quite able to celebrate freely yet. You were going to repair damage done and set some debts right before they could become an issue. You had ideas on how to help fix things in a lot of ways.

    All you needed was patience.

    ...Fuck does patience suck sometimes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    You'd spent nearly two weeks being the best battery you were able to be. You ate plenty of decent food, took naps whenever you could, and otherwise gave yourself as much physical rest as you were able to on the sofa when not busy. The entire time you were also murmuring to yourself, talking softly towards the pendant you couldn't help but keep touching, narrating your life and your thoughts to a sleeping spirit that you were guarding. The stone remained comfortingly warm as a hand you could hold in your time alone, and a few times you swore you could feel a soft pulse of a presence coming from it. There had been no speaking however. No dreams being visited.

    The paranoid part of your brain was worried enough that it started to offer up all kinds of awful scenarios that were possibly coming true, despite having clear evidence to the contrary that anything was going wrong. Dave was quiet, but he was there. You knew he was there. ...You just wished he'd react more than a pulse or warmth.

    Dave granted your wish one night. While you worked on your laptop in bed, fucking around on a forum in one window, talking with friends in another, and doing a little research into some new devices for spirit communication that were making the rounds in the online sources, you failed to notice the slender trail of red light leaving the pendant. You also failed to notice the red ball form, only realizing something was up when the corner of your eye caught the red haze starting to take a different shape.

    “Wh-. Dave?!”

    Fumbling with your laptop, you sat bolt upright in bed and glanced down to the pendant before back towards the apparition that was struggling to form something specific. Humanoid was a good start, but it seemed like he was struggling a bit to settle on a specific shape for very long, unable to make up his mind.

    “It's okay, you can stay an orb if you want! There's no rush!” you hurry to say, though he doesn't appear to acknowledge you. The red light strains and struggles, forming Dave's face before flickering and distorting grotesquely enough that you're taken aback. He keeps coming back to his own face, but between flashes of it are things you don't recognize. Monstrous half formed things, faces that belong to people you've never met, and even several times faces you recognized. You could have sworn you saw Jade in there a few times, and Roxy. You saw your own face once or twice before it ripped itself apart to bone and reformed as malleable as clay in the vapor.

    “...Dave?” you whisper. It's the face of Dave's brother that glances at you sharp as broken glass, mouth set in a thin line as his outer edges twitched and spasmed, only to once more break apart at the seams. He looked like he was melting, and it took effort not to panic. Something was definitely wrong, it was obvious to see, but WHAT was wrong. What specifically was wrong? What could even be done about it? You wet your lips and tried to think clearly as you could.

    Be open. Be a good battery. Dave had gone through a lot of strain before coming home, maybe this reforming problem was linked to that? It had to take a lot of power to form a specific shape as opposed to just forming out of habit. You were trying to think of any reasonable explanation you could, despite the taste of bile rising in the back of your throat.

    “Dave,” you try again, keeping his attention this time. Maybe just act like business as usual? “I missed you so much. I'm sorry this happened, but.. you're here now! You're home! And I'm recovering, and everything can go back to normal now.”

    A frown lit on Dave's ever changing face, but he seemed to be starting to decide on the features you were by now familiar with. His eyes were the things that stayed in place the most, barely there hints of lashes pale on a fairly normal shaped face. At least it wasn't splitting apart at the seams anymore.. His mouth still looked too big, too sharp, too inhuman, but it was progress. You gestured with your arms wide as if expecting a hug at any time to come your way, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, you'd get it to happen if you wished enough.

    “I know things haven't been easy. And.. I understand if you're mad. Or scared. Or-”

    Something was wrong. Words died on your lips as, finally, Dave's features went into the right order and appeared to hold steady yet the look in his eyes didn't change in the slightest. He looked at you as if looking through you, taking in the room as a whole as if he'd never seen it before in his life. If he was strong enough to form, why wasn't he talking to you at all? Or reaching for you?

    “...Dave,” you try again, moving so your legs were over the edge of your mattress and one hand was reaching for your crutches. “Dave. Say something. Anything. Or.. uh. Knock something over. I'm listening close as I can for you, I promise, but I'm not hearing anything. Am I just not trying hard enough or are you just not talking for some reason?”

    The spirit was glancing at his hands now, wispy trails of paleness caught in reddish mist that faded in and out of view between fully formed mass and smoke. Even with a fully open link, it still took a lot of energy to do that. You weren't surprised to hear the fan of your laptop suddenly kick into high gear behind you, cooling the inner workings down as it drew more power than usual from the wall. He didn't seem interested in talking, or in doing much at all. Compared to the spirit you were used to, how Dave was acting now just gave you the creeps. He hovered gently off the ground, face grim and expressionless as a doomed man, resolute and lost. A thousand yard stare at nothing at all.

    This was Dave, but it was the least Dave-like Dave you thought you'd ever seen. And considering how much you'd learned about him so recently and all the time you'd spent together so far, you considered yourself a pretty damn good gauge of Dave-ness. An unaccounted for lack of Dave-ness with no guidance on what had caused it. Could you soft reset ghosts? Turn it off and on again till the appearance stuck right.

    No, wait, that was a stupid idea. Focus, John. You shook your head hard to clear the thought from your head to focus on the other thoughts instead, the ones that felt instinctively like they might help. After all, you'd shared a body before, two minds in one form. You'd had his voice in your head, in your ear, in your heart. Maybe he just needed that..? Needed a touch, a push, a rekindling to remember properly after the traumatic time apart like someone might take their shoes off and flop on a sofa to make a place feel like home again after a return from a too long vacation. You picked up a single crutch and forced yourself upright to your feet, leaning your weight to keep balanced before taking a lumbering step forward, one hand out beseechingly.

    “Dave. Come here for a second.”

    He stared at you, through you again, then went back to looking at his hands as if they were foreign objects. Maybe they were. The thought chilled your blood, but you lumbered forward another careful step, nearly touching him. It would be okay. It'd be fine. You could do this.

    Dave flinched when your hand went through him as if he'd not realized just how close you were. ...Wait, had he felt that? The contact had been chilly, vaguely electric, but welcome. Familiar. Just needed to keep contact up for it to be warm, right?

    “Come on.. Here. Remember when we were at the aquarium?” you asked, pausing to grin at him. “Would yoooou... want to try that again? No cars this time. It was kind of fun in hindsight. Scary but interesting to back seat in my own body?”

    Were you offering casual possession to an Not-Very-Dave-Like Dave? Yes. Yes you were. It felt important, the closest thing to a hug you could manage when all you craved was contact with someone who couldn't do the literal contact thing very well. Dave stared vacantly, but didn't seem like he was going to dart away anywhere, or at least attempt to given the limitations of the place he was still tethered to. A thought of taming timid woodland creatures crossed your mind as you held your hand out in offer, patient, quiet, smiling.

    “Come on. Come closer. I've really missed you, I can see you, you can see me. I can't hear you and I'm dying for a chat.”

    More staring. ...Okay, you weren't a very patient man in hindsight, but the attempt was still happening.

    “Dave. Come here,” you said again.

    More staring.

    Well. Now or never. Acting quickly, you moved your crutch forward and lunged for the spirit in his red haze as if you were trying to bear hug him, forcing yourself to think as openly as you could. Welcoming as an open door, trying to recreate anything you could from the aquarium as you went right through him and lurched uncoordinatedly straight into your dresser drawers. Another hard wobble as you rebounded too hard in a panic of over-correcting and started to go backwards, passing through Dave a second time directly before starting to head for the floor.

    Though you hadn't been able to see it, the first pass through Dave's body had had a definite effect, a small spark of reaction, memory, something familiar. He'd watched your graceless fumble as well as your rebound without really reacting much beyond observation, too busy trying to organize his own slowly waking thoughts to go further.

    ...Was he home? Where was this? He'd been somewhere else, right? This felt different, it looked different, there was no pink everywhere, no cat.. It felt familiar. Looked familiar. So did the person falling.

    Falling?

    Fuck, falling.

    You were wide eyed and nearly to the floor when the hand extended your direction, and without a second thought you reached up to grab it. Foolish really, trying to grab the hand of a ghost. There was nothing there to really grab, nothing to hold on to or to use to stop the inevitable crash to the ground, but what could you say? When falling the urge to grab a hand was instinctive. Your hand felt like it was numb with cold before it suddenly surged hot, heat racing up your arm and down your spine, making your head swim. You were aware you were changing position and of the world changing place around you, but kept bracing for the impact on the back of your head.

    It never came.

    You felt pressure on your elbows, forearms, and good knee instead. The brunt of the impact was taken in your healthy limbs, injured leg awkwardly elevated and hovering an inch or two above the ground before slowly lowering down.

    ...Wow. That was pretty cool! You'd never even thought of turning like that, it was kind of like a stunt man's moves or something out of a movie. Most importantly, however, you hadn't bashed the back of your head in like a total idiot who'd tried to hug a ghost! Just needed to get up then.

    …

    Just. Needed to get up.

    …

    Preferably with the moving and the getting up actions actually happening instead of just waiting. You tried again, but failed to move out of the weight bearing stance that had successfully broken your fall. Nothing felt heavy or really out of place. More like it felt like your joints were a glimpse of what life was like as the Tin Man after being left out in the rain too long, immobilized. You could feel your glasses starting to slide off your nose towards the ground but couldn't catch and readjust them. They slowly slipped bit by bit off your face before thumping to the ground, leaving your vision blurry and soft.

    ...John?

    “Dave?”

    Well, at least talking was happening. You were grateful your mouth could move, but the talking wasn't very soothing in the face of suddenly being an immobilized statue on the floor.

    “Dave, did. ..Wait, Dave, you're talking now! Where are you at, I can hear you really clearly now!” you realized, voice raising in pitch a bit as the excitement built. Shit, it'd been way too long since you last heard his voice, you hadn't really realized how great it would be to hear him again.

    JOHN

    “Yes, I can hear you! Dave, come down where I can see you, I can't move, I can't see shit at all.”

    ...Wait.

    “...Dave are you why I can't move. Where are you at. I can't see shit,” you repeated, “let me see where you are.”

    John John John John John John John

    “Dave, I'm happy to hear you too but like. Seriously, did you do this?” Had to be. In hindsight there was no way you'd be able to do a cool mid-movement flip like that to avoid damaging yourself in a fall. You were not nearly that coordinated. You felt warmth blossom in your chest and down your spine again, down either leg. You could wiggle your toes for a moment before the statue effect was in place once more.

    JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN HOME JOHN HOME SAFE JOHN HOME

    “Dave. Dave. Let me stand up! I'm gonna get a cramp! Do whatever you were doing a second ago, I could kinda move for a moment there! You can talk and yell at me all you want but just. Can we go to the bed again? I don't want my leg to hurt.”

    The excited thrumming focused in your chest like a steady bouncing, or like one of those wacky weasel toys that wiggled the ferret on the motorized ball in random directions. You could still hear his voice as if it were getting further and further away before realizing the warmth was focusing centrally before trying to expand outward to each limb at the same time. This was very different from the experience at the aquarium but.. it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It was kind of comforting actually, especially once you started to realize where things were and could hone in on where Dave was. It had forced you to stop acting automatically and to instead focus inwards at an acute angle that got rid of the borders around your body and the world around you.

    Once again, your body housed two hearts for even a brief moment and you couldn't quite explain just how complete it actually made you feel compared to normal. Not too full but comfortable. Safer. ...Were you missing something, to feel this way? Or was it just a sign of you having a better capacity to work with others?

    Or was it just Dave?

    The warmth ran all the way to your fingertips, coursing through your veins and muscles till you could feel your arms wobble and then go limp. You face planted solidly against your glasses, mashing your nose into the frames hard enough that for a second you were scared you'd break them, pushing back up onto your hands with a sharp gasp. Okay. There was the movement again, but the warmth wasn't dissipating. You could still feel it in your chest, bouncing from side to side and up and down, spinning in circles as your own name was chanted in your ears excitedly.

    JOHN John John JOHN home safe homehomehomesafejohn JOHN SAFE HOME JOHN JOHN JOHNJOHNJOHN!

    You pushed upright to sit flat on your ass and picked up your glasses, taking a moment to rub them clean with the bottom edge of your shirt before putting them back into place. The room returned to crisp, clear outlines and familiar shapes. The pendant was all but burning at your neck, and you realized your lips were curled into a smile that was broad enough it made your cheeks hurt. You were.. happy. Absolutely happy. Whatever had happened between you and Dave, it had fixed the problem before it truly could get started and restored the world to its rightful state of reunion. This was what you'd missed last night when your worry hung in your mind as tangible as spoiled milk.

    “I missed you, Dave,” you whispered, and hugged yourself as tightly as you could. The warmth stopped bouncing around to hold perfectly still for a moment before surging into both of your arms. You realized you couldn't move them again, both hands locked firmly to your upper arms before they began to make rubbing motions, not quite numb but not quite usable. You may have hugged yourself, but you didn't exactly expect 'yourself' to hug you back.

    “Could you feel that too, Dave? Is that why you're doing this?”

    This was unexplored territory, and held plenty of implications you were sure, but in the moment you didn't give a fuck. That fulfilled sensation, the warmth, the foreign feeling of your own hands on your arms that steadily trailed up towards your throat and then your own face as if they were the hands of another? All of it was new and all of it was just memories for the making and taking. You were getting to hug Dave in a flesh and blood way, even if it were only for the moment, and nothing could ever take that away from you. Nobody could claim it was impossible.

    ... John..

    Were you. ..Were you crying? You weren't crying, were you? You were. You could feel hot trails on your face that cooled quickly, and the warmth in your chest was soon joined by a clenching that released in a huffed sob. It was relief, you told yourself. The full relief of everything being okay and returning to normal, of nothing being wrong finally, of questions being answered and of that all but overwhelming sensation of not being alone anymore in your own skin.

    Your right hand lifted to rub your nose as you snorted in an ungainly way to clear your nose. Your left hand, outside of your control, carefully rubbed some of the water from your eyes with its fingertips.

    ...Don't cry...

    “Don't tell me what to do,” you snuffed. “I'll cry if I feel like it, do you have any idea how scared I was that you were gone forever? And then I get you back and you-! And. And you acted like you weren't really there even when you were in front of me and now everything's just. Everything's okay! Everything's okay now!”

    ...Still crying...

    “Shut up and let me have this,” you mumbled. Though the one hand stayed near your face, the arm you were able to move went to hug tight around your rib cage again, trying to hold everything together in case it somehow fell apart or flew away to the breeze. “Let me have this.. Let me have you,” you murmured.

    The tension in your chest lifted and the warmth returned to your limbs, trying to spread to all four at once before it ricocheted around your rib cage again and went straight to your head. You didn't mind the dizziness or the slight ring in your ears, so long as you got to hug it out just a little bit longer.

    “Stay with me like this. Even just a while longer, Dave. ..Please.”

    The warmth stayed, solid and still as stone. You had a feeling it wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon and were grateful. You'd tell the good news to everyone else soon enough. For the time being, though, this happiness was all yours.

#homestuck #johndave #john egbert #dave strider #my fic

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

#vampiresmiled #004. emma / phillips » all posts. #006. emma / phillips » featuring mikhail.

[realmzenith]

elaina ! :)

lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv

How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye

How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she’s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her

What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient 

What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing

Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely

What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)

What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”

Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex

What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady

What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill

What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor

Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience

Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)

Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to 

What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking

How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women 

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!

#defenestrata #SFsldkjflskfj GOSH she sounds so depressing in this #i swear she's actually not this depressing #usually #i mean she's just got low self esteem ?? #anyways i lov mai thanks for comign to my ted talk #elaina #triad #my ocs

[yunhycran-blog]

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok. 

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her  )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

#busans.intro #╳┊: — bitch you’re gonna die ! •「 ooc. 」 #i've had this saved in my drafts since right after i sent my app in sgjklsfdg

[valeureux-a]

whispers softly talk to me abt the repercussions of how allison was brought up

SEND ME A TOPIC AND I’LL WRITE A META || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @anchoredalpha

I feel like the only way I can start by explainingabout the repercussions of how Allison grew up is by alsoexplaining how she grew up at the same time. So heregoes. 

She grew up fast. Everyone looks at her and sees asheltered little princess, but they don’t understand that while herfamily were overbearing and protective because they knew exactly whatwent bump in the night, they also pushed her towards independenceearly on. She didn’t live in the kind of house where she couldclimb into her parents bed at night because she’d had a nightmare.She lived in a world where her dad would dry her tears and pat her onthe head and then her mom would tell her to go back to bed. To growup. To stop being so silly. 

But they never tried to convince her that themonsters under her bed weren’t real, only that she should stand upto them. So she learned how. She learned that if she fell over andscraped her knee, her mom would put a band-aid on it and kiss itgently, but also tell her sternly to stop crying, that it was just alittle cut. So she stopped crying. She stopped showing her pain. Shelearned how to stick band-aids on her own wounds instead. She learnedhow to shut down her emotions, she learned that they were to befeared and hated and closed away because weakness was bad andemotions were the biggest form of weakness. So even now, when someonetells her that it’s okay to cry, or that she should let herselffeel emotions, she shies away from it, she keeps it locked inside ofher until she simply can’t contain it, and when it rains it pours.Everything pours out of her like a waterfall, usually when she’salone if possible, and then she shuts herself back up again andresumes her daily life like nothing happened.

She grew up lonely. Because her family wasconstantly on the move she could never get settled anywhere. She’dgo to school and be the new girl and just when she thought she couldreach out to someone, to make a friend, she’d be whisked awayagain, to somewhere new, to repeat the same thing. It was easier as avery young child, because kids didn’t care that she was new, orthat she was strange, they could all just play in the sandboxtogether and be happy. But she could never invite anyone over, shewasn’t allowed, and the times she was allowed to go over to someoneelse’s house for playdates was rare. And as she got older, kidsstarted being more wary of the new girl, more unwilling to talk, morestandoffish. Making friends got harder. It took more time, time shedidn’t have. 

So she was left with her family. She attachedherself to her family above all else, and they were happier for it.She’d sit on her dad’s knee while he did boring paperwork and sheleafed through a picture book. She’d stand at her mom’s feetwhile she cooked dinner. She’d wait eagerly by the door for heraunt Kate to appear. And she loved Kate, Kate would treat her likeboth a big girl and a child simultaneously. She’d brush her hairfor her and read her stories about princesses who slayed their owndragons, or she’d let her stay up late, cuddled into her side whilethey watched a movie far too gory for Allison’s eyes, but Allisondidn’t care. She held onto Kate like a lifeline, because she washer only (mostly) constant companion. 

This translates to later life, Allison strugglesto make friends, not because she isn’t likeable or nice orfriendly, simply because she still has that worry in the pit of herstomach, that she’d going to have to pack up and leave again. Evenwhen she’s been out of her parent’s house for years, she stillcatches herself thinking it, stopping to think that she shouldn’tmake friends because she’ll be moving on. Only to have to remindherself that she isn’t moving on at all. 

She struggled with affection, between shutting down her own emotions and constantly worrying about having to move on and away from the people she cares about, she struggles to form real, emotional bonds with people. She often keeps her life quite close to her chest and is really good at talking about herself without ever actually saying anything meaningful. She’ll take on the woes of the world, but god forbid someone hear about the time she banged her knee on the cabinet and it hurt a little bit, much less the turmoil that is her emotional and mental state. 

She grew up under constant pressure. She waschided for playing with dolls, encouraged to do sports, to playfootball or take up running. She took up gymnastics and archery andfound she was good at both and her parents were thrilled, they pushedher to keep doing it, finding her clubs and building a home gym,doing whatever it took to make sure she kept practising what she wasgood at. 

On the flip side, they were hard on her when shewas bad at something, or rather, when she tried to take up a hobbythat wasn’t on their approved list of hunter training requirements.She took up photography, art, poetry, even fashion design- to see ifshe could please her fashion buyer mother that way- and was shot downevery time. She was told that she was terrible at all of the thingsshe tried. No paintings on the fridge, no photographs saved in framesaround the house, no acknowledgement that she had ever tried any ofthese things, because she had failed. Or that was what they toldher. 

To this day, she struggles with being told sheisn’t good at something. If someone criticises her, she’s likelyto quit what she’s attempting, she’d feel bad about it, even ifshe had originally thought she was good at it. 

She’s also hard on herself. She criticiseseverything she does, finding fault in all of it. She’s aperfectionist, but she can’t seem to see perfection in her ownworks, so she can’t stand any of it. Don’t expect her to show it to anybody, and if anyone should find it where it’s stuffed in dark corners or folded away in boxes, she’s always going to downplay it. 

She’s hard on herself and she expects everyoneelse to be hard on her, too, she doesn’t expect softness and loveand understanding when she fucks up, she expects harsh words and thecold shoulder, or worse.

She also doesn’t necessarily think she deserves other people’s affection. Especially in times when she’s being hard on herself for any reason. If she feels bad about something she’s said or done, or been called out on being bad at, then she will immediately push away any attempts at affection. Often, she doesn’t feel like she deserves love. From her family, her friends, her partner(s). There are days where she will push away from all of that and shut herself off from it, and from them, because she doesn’t think she deserves them.

She punishes herself in little, subtle ways. Never too much, but pushing her friends away and isolating herself is one of them, she feels like if she denies herself the things she likes because she did something bad then it’s like penance. These are also the days when she most needs someone else’s help. But she’d never admit it. 

There are certain phrases or implications that canpush her to doing near enough anything, no matter how stupid ordangerous. Things like ‘Grow up’ or ‘Don’t be ababy’ or anything along a similar vein, anything berating her forbeing weak or calling her a child is likely to spur her into action,even if it’s not the desired one. 

She’s desperate for approval, but constantlysure she won’t get it. She tries excessively hard to please others,without meaning to, without looking like she is in most cases, butit’s there. She struggles the fine line between seeking approvaland making her own decisions, everyone else be damned. 

She’s independent. She was raised to be aleader, trained to be one, so she possesses all the necessary talentsto be a leader, she’s forthright and smart and confident. But a lotof it is an act. Her confidence is easily shaken and she’s far more likely to do the thing first and then seek approval later. She’s a big believer in it being easier to ask for forgiveness than approval. Especially if the thing in question is potentially dangerous in any way. 

And it’s not necessarily a symptom of her childhood, but more of her experiences in canon, but Allison really struggles sometimes with thoughts that lend themselves towards darkness, and the idea that monsters are bad and people are good. She understands, logically, that creatures/monsters/people all have an equal chance at being good or bad, but often her first instinct is to look at the monster like they’re the bad guy, even if they’re not. It’s something she’s working towards getting out of her system, but the prejudices instilled in her from an early age, even if she didn’t know it, run deep and as much as she hates them, it’s not something she can just ‘get over’ in an instant. 

In short, the repercussions of Allison’s childhood mean that she’s emotionally closed off, she has trouble making and keeping friends, but when she does make them, she’d do anything for them. It also means that she’s constantly pushing herself harder than she needs to and will expect everyone else to be just as hard on her. Despite her confidence and her strong will, she’s fairly easy to manipulate if you know which buttons to press. There’s probably a lot more I can say here, but this thing is getting long as all hell. 

Feel free to ask more questions though, if there’s anything I didn’t cover here that I should have. Which there undoubtedly is. 

#teen wolf meta #allison argent meta #META :// PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH? ( ally a. ) #anchoredalpha #more to come on the next installment probably #since you asked questions that fit in with this too #long post for ts

[prettysei-remade]

He’s Taken

Written for @leojiweek 2017: Day 1 

Prompt: Others’ Interpretation of Leoji/Social Media 

read on ao3

Laura xoxo: ugh

Laura xoxo: dani im so sry but my sister saw that picture u put on insta of u and ur brother at the water park and now she's begging me 2 get his number from u

Laura xoxo: she went on his insta and found out he's a wrld famous figure sk8r and she wont shut up abt him

Laura xoxo: pls ill buy u ice cream 4 a week if u can make her stop gushing abt how hot he is

Daniela sighs.

This is not the first time this has happened.

So many people - her friends, her friends’ sisters, girls from drama club, even a couple guys at her school - have tried to get to Leo through her. They're incredibly persistent, and Dani supposes she can see why they would be, from an objective standpoint.

Even she can't bring herself to say that Leo is bad-looking. It's horrible when all her friends come over while Leo is around, because they get all stupid and tongue-tied. She loves them, but they become incredibly annoying in those moments.

She knows Leo has his reasons for choosing to stay at home after graduating high school, but honestly, him moving out would make her life so much easier.

Of course, it doesn't help that he's also a competitive figure skater on the international level, and that he's won a bunch of medals. He's pretty successful, and relatively famous, so naturally everyone wants to be with him.

It would be marginally less irritating if everyone would stop hounding her for information on him.

She sets her phone back down on the kitchen table, prepared to ignore the text until she's finished her geometry homework, when a loud laugh from outside nearly makes her drop her pencil. She rolls her eyes.

Leo's home, and he's probably talking to his skating friend from China.

It's not that she doesn't like Guang Hong. From what she's seen and heard of him, he seems to be very sweet, pretty quiet, and definitely…

Well. It's obvious that he has a crush on Leo.

Anyway, she's spoken to him a little before, during some of his and Leo's many (many) Skype calls, and she likes him. He's only two years older than her, and he's always nice to her.

She knows Leo has a crush on him, too. They're seriously so obvious. But neither one of them thinks they have a chance.

Dani would be amused if it weren't so pathetic. Boys are so stupid, especially when it comes to feelings.

She hears the door swing open, and Leo continues to laugh and talk to the person on the other end of the phone as he walks through the house.

“We'll see each other soon, you know,” he says, a smile in his voice. He mouths a quick “hola” to Dani as he passes the kitchen. “We were both assigned to Skate Canada this year.” A pause as Guang Hong replies. Then, “I know, I feel like I haven't seen you in…”

His voice trails off down the hall, and Dani rolls her eyes. She picks up her phone to tell Laura what she's told everybody else.

It's not quite true, but it might as well be.

You: he’s taken, sry

…

Dani storms up the stairs, shouting all the way up.

“Leo! Mamá already called you for dinner twice, she's gonna be...”

Stopping by his slightly opened bedroom door, she looks through the crack to see Guang Hong's face on Leo's computer screen.

She rolls her eyes and barges in.

“Hi, Guang Hong,” she sighs. “Sorry to steal your boyfriend, but it's time for dinner and Leo really has to come downstairs right now.” She directs those last words at Leo with a pointed glare.

He sputters in response.

“Guang Hong isn't - we're not dating! I'm not his boyfriend!”

Guang Hong just laughs a little on his side.

She has to give him kudos for his reaction, at least. It's still obvious he likes Leo, but he seems to be way more chill about it than Leo is.

She directs her next question at him.

“Hey, isn't it really late in China? Or, like,  early?”

He laughs again.

“I'm actually in France right now, for a competition,” he explains.

“A competition he's going to dominate,” Leo adds.

Guang Hong blushes.

Dani throws up in her mouth a little.

“Sure, whatever,” she says, turning to leave. “Mamá's getting really mad downstairs, so say goodbye to your boyfriend.”

“He's not my boyfriend!”

…

The cheers of the crowd nearly drown out what the TV announcer is saying when Leo is awarded his gold medal.

A few moments later, they roar up again when the silver medalist is presented, and then a final, third time when Guang Hong goes to get his bronze.

They look good, standing side-by-side on the podium.

Dani watches them hold up their medals for pictures with matching grins on their faces. Leo says something to Guang Hong, which makes him laugh, and then Guang Hong responds, which makes Leo blush.

To anyone else, this is nothing unusual.

Well, actually, it's nothing unusual to Dani, either. She has to live with half of this. But she's pretty sure she's the only one who's noticed the massive crushes they have on each other.

She's thought about schemes to get them together, before. Like, texting Guang Hong from Leo's phone, or something. It would probably be amusing, and they'd at least stop acting like idiots all the time.

But they should figure it out for themselves. It's bound to happen, sooner or later. Eventually, one of them is going to confess, or make a move. They're building up to something, all on their own, and she doesn't want to interfere unless she absolutely has to.

They're actually pretty cute already, she supposes. Leo is skating around the rink with Guang Hong, an arm draped over his shoulder, and they're both laughing and smiling. They keep saying things into each other's ear, and it's like everybody else - the photographers, the cheering crowd, even the other medalist - doesn't even exist.

She hopes they figure it out soon.

…

Unknown Number: Hi, this is Guang Hong! I hope you don't mind, but Leo gave me your number after we talked on Skype last night. Good luck for your play tonight!

Dani is surprised Guang Hong remembers what she had said about the play, and her drama club.

Sure, Guang Hong had invited her to join the conversation, and they'd actually all talked for a really long time, until Dani realized how late it was getting. She'd thought he would mostly just focus on Leo, though, and was only including her because he was nice to everyone like that.

Apparently not.

She quickly saves his number as a contact (“Leo’s Boyfriend,” because she’s hilarious) and tries to think of how to respond.

Despite her many interactions and connections at school, and a rather large amount of social experience, she isn't exactly sure on the protocol for when your brother's almost-boyfriend texts you, completely separate from said brother.

Whatever. Guang Hong's cool, he'll be nice no matter what she says. She does try to tidy up her grammar, though. At least a little bit.

You: it's cool, i like talking to you. and thanks

Leo's Boyfriend: You're welcome! :)

He still uses smiley faces. Unironically.

That's honestly adorable.

Dani has to hand it to Leo. He's found himself a keeper.

…

Leo's Boyfriend: one time, when we were in japan, phichit made us all try sushi

You: omg no

Leo's Boyfriend: lets just say im never again forcing him to eat anything he says he doesn't want 2 eat

You: omg

You: ok ok my turn

You: so one time we went on this road trip to minnesota

You: it was winter so we decided to go skating at an outdoor rink for fun

You: of course, hes famous and everything so this one lady recognized him and asked him for a picture

You: so they take the picture, everythings great

You: but then he goes to skate away

Leo's Boyfriend: oh no

You: he somehow slips

You: and falls flat on his back

Leo's Boyfriend: did he get hurt??

You: just his pride

You: he got so embarrassed. it was hilarious

Leo's Boyfriend: omg!! XD

You: u know, i think sharing our blackmail material is the best idea weve ever had

Leo's Boyfriend: agreed

…

You: omg i know

You: its always the worst when he tries 2 rap, though

Leo's Boyfriend: don't get me started

Leo's Boyfriend: one time he tried to rap along to ceiling can't hold us by macklemore?

Leo's Boyfriend: like it was cute, but also probably one of the most awful things ive ever heard

Leo's Boyfriend: !!! pls dont tell him i said that!!

You: the cute part or the awful part

Leo's Boyfriend: …

Leo's Boyfriend: both

You: u know he wldn’t care right

You: actually he'd probably spontaneously combust if he knew

Leo's Boyfriend: u want me to tell him i think he's awful at rapping??

You: no

You: nvm

You: has he told u abt his death metal phase yet?

Leo's Boyfriend: !!!

…

“Hey, Dani?”

She looks up from her phone, about to tell Leo off for interrupting her in the middle of an important conversation about whether or not Charlie actually likes Liza, but then she sees his face.

He looks nervous. And… maybe a little upset, though he's hiding it pretty well.

“What?” she asks, turning off the screen and dropping her phone on the armrest.

“Um… can I talk to you?”

“Of course.”

He sits down next to her on the couch and takes a moment to collect himself.

“It's…”

He pauses. Swallows.

“It's about Guang Hong.”

Dani’s ears perk up at that, but she decides not to say anything. She'd rather Leo tell her what's up on his own terms.

“I…” he takes a breath. “You guys are… pretty close, right?”

Dani raises an eyebrow.

“I mean… I guess,” she answers. “I guess we text a lot.”

“Yeah. Well, you - you like him, right?”

“... yeah?”

Leo exhales.

“Okay,” he says decidedly.

Dani is confused.

Did she miss something?

“Okay… what?” she asks.

“Just… okay. You have my blessing.”

What on earth is he talking about?

“I have your blessing? Your blessing for what?”

Leo holds up his hands.

“I know, I know, you don't care what I think,” he says quickly. “I know you don't need it. But… I just thought… I know you like each other, but he's my friend, too, so I thought I'd just… tell you, I approve. Okay?”

A cold, hard pit starts to form inside of Dani’s stomach as she begins to realize what's going on.

“Leo,” she says, carefully, “what… exactly are you giving your blessing for me to do?”

Leo frowns. He runs a hand through his hair.

“To… to date Guang Hong.”

Oh.

Oh my god.

Dani lets her eyes fall shut and her head drop back against the couch.

“Leo,” she groans.

“It's okay! It's fine, I don't mind, really!”

“Leo…”

“I know, this is awkward, but I'm your brother, so - ”

“Leo, you're so stupid.”

He stops at that.

“I…” he swallows. “What?”

“Leo,” Dani says patiently. “I don't like Guang Hong like that. Guang Hong doesn't like me like that. We're friends. Just like you.”

Leo sits back.

“Huh,” he says. “Well, nevermind, then.”

Dani looks at him, sitting there all confused, getting lost in his own thoughts.

He looks a little relieved, but he doesn't know what to think, now. Dani wonders how much he had psyched himself up, prepared himself for hearing that Dani wants to date the guy he's in love with.

Probably a lot.

He has no idea Guang Hong likes him back, and Dani is just now realizing how seriously it's affecting Leo.

They can't go on this way. Dani needs to do something, if only to keep her brother from hurting like this.

“Actually, we're not like you at all,” she says, sitting up straighter. “Guang Hong and I are friends. Guang Hong and you are… I don't even know what you are.”

“What do you mean? We're friends!”

“No, you're not, Leo,” Dani insists. “I mean, you are, but don't you see you're so much more than that? God, you guys are hopeless.”

“What do you mean, more?”

“I mean, you two are in love with each other and you don't even know it! It's driving all three of us insane, and I'm the only one who even notices! I mean you're hopeless, Leo!”

She pauses at the stunned look on Leo's face, panting slightly.

Leo stares at her.

Dani stares back.

Then Leo whispers, “You think he knows?”

Dani swallows.

“Not about you,” she whispers back.

“But he likes me back.”

“Yeah.”

Leo looks at the floor.

“Wow.”

Dani grins, in spite of it all.

“Yeah. Wow.”

He looks up at her, squinting.

“Do you think I should tell him?”

“If you don't, I'll tell him myself.”

He looks back at the floor.

“Wow,” he whispers.

He looks amazed, as if the idea of Guang Hong actually liking him back had never even entered his brain.

He smiles softly to himself.

Dani rolls her eyes.

…

Unknown Number: hey, this is tara from drama club last year! ashlyn gave me your number, hope that's ok lol! i was just wondering, that's your brother and his friend in that pic on instagram, right?

You: let me guess. u want my brothers number

Unknown Number: actually, i was wondering abt his friend? he's rlly cute lol

Dani is a little surprised Tara doesn't want Leo's number, but she knows the post she's talking about, and honestly, she kind of gets it.

Guang Hong has been coming over every few days to visit, since he’s training in California in the off-season. In this particular instance, he and Leo were sitting side-by-side on the couch, Leo's arm resting casually over the top of Guang Hong's shoulders, and the lighting coming in from the bay window was absolutely gorgeous. They made a perfect picture, and Dani couldn’t resist putting in on Instagram.  

Well.

She smirks as she types her response to Tara, entirely truthful this time.

You: he’s taken, sry

#leojiweek2017 #leojiweek #ruby writes #ruby originals #leoji #fic

[marsupial-tapir]

☾ voltron crew

sleep headcanons for the space kids LETS GO

pidge: Sleep Is For the WEAK. pidge asserts they’ve optimised their sleep schedule into a complex system of power naps, which produce maximum mental output for minimal sleep time and thus skillfully eliminate the need for “”beds””. the fact that they fall asleep in the middle of the day on inconvenient semi-perilous surfaces is an unfortunate side-effect, and one that will be WORKED OUT if u just give them time to TEST THEIR HYPOTHESIS,, shiro,, listen,, its an unperfected theory,,, theyre still mapping out their circadian rhythm but theyve nearlly got it now….  they donnt need to go to bed rig htnow they DONT they can stay up a litlle… longer… nno theyre not falling asleep on their keyboard theyre just… powernapppign… shiro lissten,,., 

oh um also when they were kids pidge and matt shared a room (byproduct of their parents putting them together for convenience when they were tiny, and as they grew up they liked it too much and protested whenever their parents tried to give them their own rooms) and theyd stay up late into the night talking abt science or trying to outdo each other with dumb made-up stories about aliens or making intricate structures out of bedroom items (piece of cake during the day; much more fun in the dark). pidge stopped sleeping properly the day matt disappeared. one day theyre gonna get him back and theyre gonna stay up late again and probably set up prank traps on the ship at 2 in the morning and give shiro grey hairs together and its gonna be great

shiro: u know nobody’s gonna sleep well after 3 years as a prisoner on a galra ship. im sorry space dad. i wish u could rest too. luckily after a few weeks of sleepless nights coran or allura probably notices and then altean tech steps in to help. (theyve got stasis pods or brain-calming alien fruits or something). also helpful are his Pidge Retrieval Missions. some nights when sleep is bad he does a top-bottom search of the ship and the pidge-sized nooks therein. carrying a weakly-protesting 14-year old back to bed is aq surprisingly calming activity. he is lulled to sleep by the fulfilling sense of Dadness

keith: hasn’t had a full night’s sleep since he came out of the galra womb. poor kid. i would like to say that it’s because peaceful sleep messes with his Constantly-Vigilant Cryptid-Spotting Tortured Fashion Icon aesthetic and that he stays up all night watchign illuminati confirmed videos and trying to replicate shiro’s eyeliner technique while listening to mcr albums on repeat,, and not because he lived alone in a freezing shack in a hostile desert,, probably angsting abt whether shiro was alive,, and where his family was,, and how old and isolated he was gonna get before he found out whether bigfoot would ever love him back,,, but regardless of the cause he’s a fitful sleeper and has lived his whole life pretty much getting short snatches of rest here and there throughout the day. he’s never really felt safe enough to know what deep sleep feels like. UNTIL, of course, he boards the castle of the lions, and then suddenly.. its like…. he has a bed?? a?? roof?? the comforting ambience of noises from people who arent gonna try to eat him in the night?? shiro right next door and not in need of rescue?? i mean he still keeps his knife under his pillow but as time goes on he starts getting this weird like. unconsciousness. its kind of like napping but it involves almost no nightmares and goes on for HOURS. he can feel this happening and he is UNCOMFORTABLE like nnO i cant rest i gotta stay VIGILANT i gotta.. i gotta… until he is lulled soundly to sleep by the sound of hunk snoring and coran singing space opera on some far corner of the ship and pidge tapping on their laptop as they perch on the end of keith’s bed (handy hiding place from meddling shiros). he feels safe. its weird. 

lance: i mean the first thing that comes to mind is that scene with lance swanning out of his bedroom draped in a silk bathrobe, nourishing facemask and custom blue lion slippers, glittering with the otherworldly radiance of the ultra-rare Well-Rested Youth, and based on this evidence youd think lance would be the World’s Number One Beauty Sleep Expert. HOWEVER. u remember that post that zoomed right in on lance’s sleep earmuffs and they had green on them?? and looked suspiciously like pidge’s nerdy headphones from episode 1?? ya pidge gave him their headphones because lance has trouble sleeping. hashtag confirmed my dudes. certainly back home lance could sleep 11 hours through the apocalypse in the middle of a storm with a dance party happening next door (when u have to juggle 6 siblings, hunk as a roomie and an obligatory 12 hours beauty sleep u learn to Adapt) but now, lightyears away from home, sleep doesnt come so easily. the ship is quiet in unfamiliar ways, and when ur supposed to be sleeping u cant fill those weird silences with ur own comforting noise. he doesnt talk abt it to anyone, of course. that would be Lame. (but pidge notices him sleeplessly fidgeting one night and quietly lends him their headphones. just to shut him up, of course. sleep well, you fucker.) also important: lance keeps up with a strict nightly skincare routine and adorns himself with luxurious sleepwear each night, partly because u have to look fab to have good dreams,, obviously,, but also bc this doubles as a comforting bedtime ritual. facemask, nourishing space spa-bath, tai-chi before bed, smooch each lion slipper on its little nose. just little bedtime things. he’s not great at going to sleep at first but every night he drops off a little faster. its getting easier.

hunk: sleeps like a log. takes 30 seconds for him to fall asleep and then he’s out like a light for 9 hours. even when he’s anxious. he’ll fall asleep like “oohhh man im so far from home what if we dont MAKE IT BACK what’s zarkon gonna do oh ma - [snoring, 10 hour version]. oh ya he snores. i think this is canon probably?? if it’s not it should be. the depth of his sleep is too profound to be contained within his body. also, hunk is at the nucleus of every communal sleep pile. this works because 6 people can pile onto his huge soft belly and he doesn’t feel a thing. first sleep pile happens because hunk falls asleep in the middle of the training deck; lance drapes himself over him in a show of theatrics and just forgets to get up, probably; shiro tries to extract them but is ambushed by hunk’s remarkable Sleep Hugging reflexes; keith meets a similar fate, not entirely unvoluntarily, and makes a very unconvincing show of protest; pidge pretends to use them all as a comfortable backrest while tapping away at a tablet and promptly falls into the deepest calmest sleep theyve had since they were 6. even when he is asleep hunk spreads wholesomeness and love. god bless my sweet son

coran and allura: i put them together because?? do alteans even need sleep??? have they evolved beyond simple biological constraints?? was 10 000 years of stasis enough and now they’ve stored up enough rest to stay awake for years?? somehow i cant imagine either of them sleeping regularly. HOWEVER coran enthusiastically jumps on the new paladin trend, which “reminds me of viskralian bio-stasis!!” (this he demonstrates by flopping into a gracile position with one eye squeezed shut, humming violently in the key of F). allura remains baffled and slightly disapproving of all the wasted time, despite the flood of positive reviews (HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM JOIN IN PRINCESS HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ITS VERY RELAXING) but one time she walks in on the paladins collapsed in a pile together and shes like… u know what. im gonna let this one slide. this is also the day she learns of the remarkable comfiness of hunks. 

#THANK U AND GOODNIGHT #im sorry about the length which ironically is the reason i personally am not sleeping right now #THE THINGS I DO FOR THESE KIDS.......... #voltron #headcanons #thank u for the question shena this was fun #I PERSONALLY LOVE OVERINVESTING #humandisastersquad #long post #my hcs