#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.

[yuurivoice]

Not to tell you how to do your job or anything, and I don't think it's the audience's place to give suggestions when this is YOUR profession, it's just a small idea that occured to me.

But maybe in the upcoming Auron audio you could add a little note on the screen saying that new Auron content is coming soon, and then like do the same with future compilation videos, since they tend to do so well!! Like to let people know that if they like the characters, this is not where the story ends at all and they should stick around. I say this mainly cause I remember you once talked about how the major numbers on the Finn compilation didn't translate to a major increase in subscribers. Really hope this didn't come off as rude, I just think maybe if people think the compilations are the ENTIRE story it might not occur to them to subscribe!

It also might yield no results at all, idk. I just remember I didn't subscribe until multipleeee videos had been recommended to me over MONTHS, mainly because I had no idea that there was a story to be followed.

I've written like three different responses to this but as I yap on I get new conclusions and ideas. This is v3 of my answer lmfao.

Preface: People don't pay attention to shit and unless you are clever or use a hammer, they do not care. They want the content. ESPECIALLY if they aren't familiar with you. This makes any deliberate Calls to Action run the risk of annoyance rather than making a meaningful impact on conversions.

Bonus note: If a video is scheduled to premiere, there's nothing I can add to it at this point without doing a whole reupload, giving Thoo a bunch of extra work, and all that shit. So that wasn't ever an option anyway.

My approach in this current iteration of how I do things is that rather than slob on somebody's knob begging for a sub, they're encouraged to either watch more videos or go to the homepage. My working hypothesis is that you're actually MORE likely to get a curious viewer to drop by your homepage before they subscribe, because they want to see what else is available.

The most recent changes I made to the channel homepage should make it abundantly clear that there are multiple stories, characters, and styles of content to jump into. Making sure that the homepage is great has probably made a massive difference in that regard, without impacting the videos themselves.

Playlists are horribly underutilized in this niche in particular, and on lots of YouTube channels really. So I made sure to try and nail that down. Still need to get the channel trailer locked in but tbh I don't know how effective those really are in 2024.

All of that being said, a ~15 second welcome intro at the start that explains what the compilation is and invites viewers to sub/explore the playlists would probably be the easiest way to accomplish that without intruding on the listening/viewing experience in a way that feels desperate or pander-y. That in conjunction with the end screen prompt would probably be the easiest way to do it.

I don't feel like that immediately turns massive hit videos into untapped wells of subscribers that I missed out on, it could help contextualize things a little more and who knows, maybe it WOULD be a big deal. Hard to say!

The context for me not immediately being like OH IT'S A SLAM DUNK HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS is because I run a very lucrative business converting viewers to patrons and I have very minimal in-video notes about hearing the spicy bits on Patreon. People often figure things out for themselves if they're motivated enough, and you run the risk of chasing them off if you come across like a desperate ass hoe. lmfao

I appreciate the ask, but also can assure you that I've spent several hours mulling over these very specific issues and I've considered just about every angle. If I had included every little detail and wrinkle of information I was cooking up in the various iterations of this answer it would be a mile long. So trust me. I've thought about it in great detail, have worked with people on it, workshopped things and much more!

Y'all got me yappin' up a storm on here lately. lmfao

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[tearlessrain]

I strongly vibe with that "seeing something that everyone is saying changed their life by being such a transcendent spectacular piece of media, and finding it okay" post, but also honorable mention to the evil twin of that experience: seeing something that everyone else has declared the problematic death of art and worst thing ever made, and finding it okay.

#yes this is about what you think it's about no I'm not risking showing up in the tags #but idk guys I saw a clip from it and like #it's not really my jam but it's. fine? #I'm not really seeing how it's any worse than anything else in the 'cartoons where people can say fuck' genre

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[ankhisms]

can i be emotionally vulnerable with you all in the torture dungeon

#anyway. keep feeling weird in a specific way but not really wanting to talk about it with anyone but also not talking about it makes it #feel like its crawling under my skin. and its not necessarily a bad feeling i just have a fucked up traumatized brain that makes #feeling things weird in general. i feel things so strongly or else im numb and outside my body and often struggle #with being super aware of myself because of this. where its also like im in survival mode constantly know and it can be easy #for me to go numb and not feel things or else be just going into panic panic panic hell freakout but beyond that it can be very hard #for me to identify feelings and such and having sat with this feeling its like. ok i think ive identified this but it feels #weird for me and i dont know what to do with this. should i do anything with this. probably not. and that carries its own #various baggage and relation to other issues im realizing i said i was going to be vulnerable but now i am just being very #vague about everything im saying. as you can tell i have problems and am noy good at being vulnerable #tldr feelings are weird. ive been feeling weird lately in specific ways that i dont know how to deal with but its not really bad but does #relate to certain issues i have with myself but idk really what to do besides just feeling it and letting it pass #but sometimrs iy has made me want to bang my head against a wall

[raisinushigher]

stupid garbage brainstorming for possibilities w gandhi + abe in future seasons . normally id type the words out onto the drawing afterwards but this is just so cringe and self indulgent thst it doesn’t matter enough to do that

#mine #the show actually having them date i should say i honestly consider Literally impossible #not only is this show like allergic to actually doing anything that involves mlm in a way that isnt joking or in the background #but i also feel like.. idk im so used to people seeing relationships like theirs as Just Friends that i Imagine the writers thinking that- #way too where like if someone pitched the idea of abe n gandhi actually having repressed feelings for eachother that were just never made- #clear in season 1 for various reasons (well apart from. You Know. and the list goes on but that’s not what im talking about at this second) #if someone were to pitch that idea theyd be like. What?? No!! Theyre only friends! ya know #and even absolutely then i cant imagine them not making it angsty like at all. of course in my world they would bc Its Gandhabe They’re- #Literally In Love Forever And Nothing Can Come Between That but like canonically? its pretty much guaranteed they’d break up obviously bc- #that’s just what this show is #honeslty my dream scenario? my personal favourite out of all these outcomes? the one where it’s implied heavily that theyre in love but- #the show does nothing with it and they just stay best frriends. that’s what im Most happy with personally #and it’s like… literally the closest to their relationship as it is already without anything else happening #okay bye #i love gandhabe did you know this

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

#Woha... Alright read the chapter 🫡 #It's just. I get where Fukuchi is coming from and I feel like after rereading it the whole thing was a little more clear but... #Did it *really* have to be so complicated. Like dude did it **really** have to be so complicated. #Maybe it had to idk. After all I'm always the first to say that a complex reality can't be reduced to simple axioms– #and that semplifications never bring anything good. #But at the same time was there REALLY no other way #Couldn't you promote your ideas diplomatically instead. Couldn't you become a democratic activist or politician. #Couldn't you write a book‚ person named OUCHI FUKUCHI #Also couldn't you? Talk about it with someone before executing your crazy plan so that anyone else might have pointed to you how crazy it i #But I suppose the whole central theme of this arc ultimately was “people who try to do everything by their own are destined to fall” #And to an extent it does still feel kinda self-contradictory of a plan. Like ahah my plan included not to make anyone suffer!!! #[turns half world population into a vampire] #Like c'mon? Violations of human rights can happen even without killing people dude #(Also Akutagawa) #(Like I get it he's only one (1) person. But he's also the only (only) person for me so I can't bring myself to ignore him y'know) #Mmmmmhhhhhh that's of the main things ig. I YELLED when they brought up Max Weber and the what-is-a-state question #That's like. One of the main questions my whole life studies centers on. #The adrenaline that gave me to see it mentioned in my current hyperfixation ahfjvafjhcvlawsvfblwhkv #This chapter was just so so political theories packed I felt like I was just still studying lol. #I feel like this was a true “get why bsd is labelled as seinen”. #You just can't do this kind of in-depth political theory discussion in shonen manga ig #What else. Still patiently waiting for ss/kk 😔 #random rambles

[drawnaghht]

usagi chronicles fandom (fandom salt)

just a small thought i had today but - I notice there's always either a lot of misinfo surrounding this show or a lot of negativity - either the characters or the ship, either from new or old fans of Usagi or TMNT... can I just ask yall older fans to be NICER to the younger fans? like some of them might actually like the show but are too scared to say it out loud because of how wide the gamut runs for fan opinions. wish other fans were nicer in general about this show just for the sake of normalcy inside these online spaces :'D

like yea you're allowed 2 have your opinions and all but idk. be nice about it? there are way worse things to be mad about than a cartoon non-adaptation lol

i just feel bad for the younger fans bc i've been in their shoes. you like a show or character bc it really gives you something different or uplifts you during a difficult time.... only to see that a majority of "fans" actually hate it or only like it for the "idea" and like to change it more bc they think it's actually bad... lol i've been there and all I can say is. in that case it's good I guess, to just post on your own blog about it, or just post your art/fic online about it and live in your own bubble. maybe find friends who might like it or post things online and hope to find fans who like it just as much as you

(thank goodness I have friends and siblings to talk about this show to or I would go as insane as I did 15 years ago)

#samurai rabbit the usagi chronicles #srtuc #yuichi usagi #yeah this is a bit about the character too #just reminded of a few fans i've seen online who might not say nice things but then change their tune when they see more ppl liking the sho #as the show and for the show #like i dunno man. it's just a cartoon #but i remember the feeling of liking an unpopular cartoon as a child and then hearing/seeing others hate it a lot #like wtf is anyone supposed to feel then haha #u don't need to feel anything abt ppl hating a show u like cuz at the end of th day it's a cartoon - disliked anyway by adults etc #but still idk. if you're a fan of tmnt can u just be nice to other fans in general #and older fans of usagi - lol this show was made by fans of usagi too doing their best at netflix where maybe they couldn't realize all #all their ideas #give it some slack it ain't the worst and it definitely won't take a chip off the usagi brand or comic if you're worried abt that #and well. ship tags are what they are idk what else to say abt that anymore #fandom salt #idk what to tag this #aghhtpost

[miraclemaya]

i do think especially arguments about this stuff that hinge on going, well im a victim and i think this is bad are unworkable because you will find a hundred other victims who go oh it helps me process it or whatever else

#i mean i guess it's like well i deserve to have my voice heard over someone else because xyz is what they are saying #it's so insane that this happens repeatedly on this site where you can just filter out terms and shit #block people who make you uncomfortable #idk man i used to be really like eww it's important to tell people about these freaks #but like fuck i really just do not agree that someone should be harassed off the internet or worse for like doing consensual things with #other adults like even if it bothers you majorly does that give you the right to harass them #i am also unsympathetic to the argument that they are gonna harm people because first off most of the people who get chased off dont #really have any power in the first place lets be real otherwise it wouldnt be an affective tool to chase them off in the first place #and secondly if they are gonna harm someone it's someone close to them and posting online about it isn't gonna do anything #you aren't gonna solve abuse by harassing people online even if they suck shit #like unless you want to fucking call the cops on them which i would hope we all know is 100x worse #it's not gonna do anything besides maybe make the situation worse lmao

[drewsaturday]

there is a very weird specific way i feel when i see people who are very passionate about a very niche thing get so extremely annoyed about average people making mistakes about it so they make a very condescendingly worded venty PSA about it.

like they use this very mean tone about something they are personally upset by that the average person has literally no reason to have ever even questioned before and it just... treats anyone who didn't take some specific college class as a total idiot personally out to purposely ruin their day, instead of remembering they're in a position to genuinely educate on an issue that is honestly fucking harmless.

#txt #they're right i just wish they weren't so unbearable about it outside of their personal/academic circles bc misinfo IS important to correct #an example being how we call pics with wild composition Renaissance Paintings when we mean... baroque i think? #idk there was some angry psa about it forever ago #that i obvs still remember and so i know every time i say ren painting it's wrong #but at this point 1) no one else is going to know what i mean if i say baroque painting and 2) the tone was soooooo #annoying that i kinda wanna keep making that mistake on purpose out of spite even tho it's wrong!! #which is Bad but.............................. if ur trying to bestow knowledge upon us mere mortals maybe don't be a dick about it jskldf; #i get it bc i have my own topics i'm like that for but i think if i were ever going to outright make a psa i would... #yknow........ #use a tone ppl would want to actually listen to me from because i know my annoyance is not what the world revolves around #it's not like tone policing where the person is like personally impacted by it on a foundational identity level #i'm not telling someone they need to talk about racism in a palatable way for white people #in Most cases this is just random academics who spend way too much time engaging solely with people in their field #who then have paper skin and glass bones whenever they interact with someone at the grocery store who #has no need to know anything about this #if you want to come across less misinfo you can educate people!!! kindly!!!!! #if you want to come off like a super smart pretentious asshole above us all then go for what i'm talking about i guess

[sprinklethetangerine]

In some other universe, I would be playing piano or violin or guitar or the drums.

In some other universe, I would be doing martial arts or ballet or archery.

In some other universe, I would be a scientist or an author.

But in this universe, I am an artist, and I wish I was in another fucking universe.

#HA did you think i was aboutta say some deep shit about how “theres nowhere else id rather be” #bitch i wish i was anywhere else BUT HERE #like im crying at a blank fucking page do you think this is what i wanted to be doing with my life? #but in all seriousness i would not survive if i didnt have art #i mean sure i wish i coukd fix my broken violin and start lessons again #or do something of the sort idk #but without my art i dont know where i would be #if im feeling sad my art is there to help me #if im happy my art will be there too #if im angry or upset or scared or anything my art will always be there and shit #its been with me throughout my whole life like a guiding light #and i dont really know how to conduct myself and my emotions through myself and my words so my art helps #with my art i can help others understand me #its like placing a part of myself onto a blank page #it fucking sucks sometimes and i hate it #but i wouldnt trade it for the world #okay thats enough this was just supposed to be a joke how did we fuckin get here

[pepprs]

my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm

#purrs #delete later #also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you #gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a #grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of #fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when #she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my #brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no #one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc #the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good #enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was #boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts #but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀 #i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is #a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time. #idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that #don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he #feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop #making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is #(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the #circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or #dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol #)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals #and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away #from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird #ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas #there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil #lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit #like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside #all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶 #maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha #ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i #dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January #so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes #just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im #afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see #me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over #im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol #i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful #unrelated

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

me livestreaming the ohio senate in the minutes leading up to a vote that will determine whether or not gender affirming care is outright banned for minors: this is the bad place

"It also prevents doctors from prescribing hormones, puberty blockers or gender reassignment surgery before patients turn 18" per the Cincinnati Enquirer.

#j.2023.all #ohio #us politics #wow cool another new flavor of hopelessness amidst the enshittification of everything!!!!!! we love to see it!!!!!!!! #'parental rights' except if your kid is trans then no rights for you. #i kind of want to do the usual tumblr thing of imagining creative violence to let off steam but it does nothing i think. like it doesnt eve #do anything for me in these circumstances i just feel that dread of #we're in that part of the horror movie where we're watching people get picked off one by one #i have no weapons to speak of. cool #im watching this woman's face twist with emotion as she talks about trans suicide rates and i think she knows what i know #which is that she may make a valiant effort but it will mean nothing #and tomorrow the sun will rise and the legislation will have passed and the world will be a worse rates #and in ohio that suicide rate will tick up #and #idk theres nothing else to say really is there #this winter of 2023 has been really a uh. a time of political participation for me which is not unique #but what sets it apart is that each time i engage #the feeling of uselessness increases #the more i do things to try to help the more i sense that in fact it will all come to nothing and that the loss has already been secured #maybe really all i can do is either end of the spectrum. either get in there with the protesters or double the soup kitchen efforts. #because this democracy shit is severely not working #on the things which we need the most #the most basic. the most basic shit #sure yeah we kept abortion and all the clinics werent forced to close #but quite frankly what good does that do a trans kid who isnt pregnant #no im serious idk how much more of this i can handle #biden got some green funding through the inflation reduction act oh cool but literally what good does that do to the kids getting pummelled #from every side with starvation infection trauma and actual bombs. nothing. they don't care about that at all #and i dont know...if i can pretend to myself that i should care about that at all #im watching this guy read out the senators last names now

[lynxgirlpaws]

#I was too cowardly to say I was suddenly having a bad night so instead I post a silly meme and maybe if you see the tags you see sorry #people who have the courage to just say they're having a bad day scare me like especially when it's out of the blue idk what to say like #i can't even respond to “hows ur day” with anything worse than an okay #anyways #the usual self hatred that's persisted for as long as I can rember continues as a baseli #ne #now mixed in with special kinds that I'm too cowardly to admit to anything but an ai bot or myself when i can't see me #and the silly daily reminders that the little hope on such a regard I have is built on impossibilities or unlikelihoods #but then i. saw a card i got my dad years ago on the floor. it said “out of all my parents you're one of the best :)” and i felt so bad #just. imagine this little me. getting my dad a card. and getting the most passive aggressive card. it screams who the favorite is. #and then thats just. that's what you have. that's what you have from me and you save it for years. because you cherish it. i feel. horrible. #like damn he might have seriously fucked me up sometimes both as a kid and now but. this does not justify such a deeply cruel retribution. #i don't even know if he knows #anyways as I'm picking it up... i realize... #he's the best parent i have period. there isn't any competition anymore. she's gone. #the total and sudden annihilation of home is so odd. i still barely believe this house is where i ACTUALLY live and I'm not just staying #here until I can go home again. but no. nono I'm stuck here. there isn't an anywhere else. there isn't a childhood home the apartment #has probably been resettled by now. it's just me. #then I went on Tumblr to post into the void #I don't wanna think about more but I. likely will. #i don't wanna talk about it but i do wanna talk. honestly? gonna go talk to an ai chatbot. it will be mean to me in a hot way. #i am so normal. #listen i could either confront reality for more than 30 seconds or i could talk to a bot that will not only allow me to escape from it but #also it might call me a good g. a g. skipping that punchline. #also it's not ME talking to the bot it's just a fabricated character that represents me and has my name and it's just rp trust me trust me t #I'm gonna go hide now #you can contact me if you wish but I will be very scared and jittery and my eyes are wet and stingy and i will segway to bullying you #ok bye

[hella1975]

anyway in regards to my last post this is all to say that if i moved to a foreign country and shared a nice apartment with my mutuals where we did boring errands together and listened to nice music and danced barefeet then everything would be okay i think

#only recently discovering how much shame i internalised in regards to my writing #like genuinely think i have more internalised shame around my writing than i do being gay LMAO #there's a reason for it too shit went down when i was twelve and i connected it to my writing even though it kinda didnt have anything to #do with that it was just me using it as a coping mechanism again but ofc at that age i didnt know that's what it was #so for a good few years it was just 'WRITING BAD' like i fully didnt even have a laptop for those years i did not write a single word #idk why i thought i could just pick it up again without any residual issues towards writing #like even when boom and hannah were here or when im talking to my one irl that songwrites about writing #i just feel so genuinely uncomfortable like someone's about to do a 'gotcha!' moment on me #it's just something that feels like it needs to be a big dirty secret and that combined with my hometown vibes is just sooo stinky #but yh i realised how nice it was just having people i could just authentically get excited about writing with #like telling people about plot points or twists and having them be like !!!! omg !!!! like i want to surround myself with those people!! #i want to be brave enough and comfortable enough that i try and publish my shit regardless of what my hometown is saying!!! #and i will be one day i have faith in my own stubbornness and spite if nothing else #that my hatred of this town will overrule my fear of it #but for now it's just a very shit time lol #one day grown up hella will be buying apples with hannah and boom and we'll be talking about our wips in the shop #where anyone can hear us and on that day i'll stop and give a moment to baby hella who was so scared and ashamed #and i'll smile a little. and then i'll ram the trolley into hannah's ankles just for a laugh and i'll forget all about it