#nothing really hit as hard after that

[mermaidsirennikita]

Have you sean any Shonda shows aside from Bridgerton? I'm tempted to watch but I'm told they get bad after a few seasons

I have seen... most Shonda shows aside from Bridgerton, I'm afraid lol.

Grey's Anatomy--Obviously has been on for a million years, I have been watching with some off and on periods (currently off but I check in) since... season 2. Grey's Anatomy is a BEAST. It's obviously her biggest show (Bridgerton stans I'm sorry baby but y'all can and probably never will stand up to the cultural BEHEMOTH that is Grey's, which has been on for ALMOST. TWENTY. YEARS. Ugh choke me.) In a lot of ways, Grey's is a standard medical soap, much like E.R. In other ways, it is both better and worse. I will not lie--the DRAMA of the early seasons is amazing. Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy is kinda legendary. Season 1 ending on "and you must be the woman who's screwing my husband?"

Like, whatever you feel about Meredith and McDreamy (they are... something............) the Meredith/Derek/Addison love triangle is something I don't think a lot of shows would attempt today because everything is boring and Cheating Is Evil, which means all of the people in that triangle are Evil and Bad and We Can't Like EvilBad People. Addison is one of my favorite characters on TV, which is why I also watched the entirety of the spinoff, Private Practice, which isn't anything to write home about and they kinda botched Addie at points, but she gets her HEA and I'm good with that part. It has some really emotional moments.

Also, the Denny Duquette arc in season 2 is kind of the sort of TV that everyone should at least watch for like, the history of it all. Cristina Yang is one of the greatest TV characters of all time, imo. (Cristina and Burke... whatever Isaiah Washington is irl, Cristina and Burke were a VERY compelling ship to me back in the day lol. She was his mentee??? He was her boss???? They were both kinda cool operators except they fell in love? It was toxic but it was good.

Scandal is... again, iconic TV, but damn did it fall off. I mean lol, the first two seasons were incredibly compelling TV. I'd watch them again. High drama. I hate Olitz as a couple, but I mean. There was some weird stuff happening in that show, and I did kinda eat it up. B6-13 was weird, but it did bring me Papa Pope, and I loved that nutjob. THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE ROOM. EVIL DAD.

Still Star-Crossed is bad, don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, it should've been cancelled when it was lol.

I hate Inventing Anna. I'm glad that the Julia Garner hype seems to be dying a bit, I do not see it for her as this Great Talent at all lol.

How to Get Away with Murder.... Not something she wrote, but it has Shonda all over it. Viola Davis gives the type of performance that like, took the innovation of Olivia Pope to another level. Both were obviously something we really didn't see a lot of on mainstream primetime TV before this, and I think Shondaland does deserve props for making it prominent--the true Black antiheroine, and honestly in both Olivia and Annalise's cases, borderline villainous heroines. Also, it gave me Wes, who I love so much, and Alfie Enoch was so good in this role, and Wes and Annalise's relationship was so like... pseud-maternal/filial, but I also felt like they could kiss at any moment? The kind of dynamic usually reserved for white characters with an older man/younger woman. Season 3 really uhhhh screwed me lol, but the first two seasons, especially the season 1 arc? OOOH COMPELLING.

#this was interesting and therapeutic thank you #it's honestly wild for me to remember that not everyone started watching shonda shows at like 11 and had resulting brainrot #but fwiw i have a 17 year old sibling who regularly rewatches like the first eight seasons or so of grey's lmao #their rule is that they stop watching after the plane crash #which like... tbh is not a bad rule of thumb #i feel like the plane crash was the last Great Grey's Anatomy Disaster #nothing really hit as hard after that #plus before the plane crash p much everyone we cared about passed their boards so lol

[spark-circuit]

FINALLY. OUR WAITING PUZZLE IS OVER.

#FUCK YOU EVADE AND DEFEND DICE GREEN BOTS #SUFFERING AND PAIN AND AGONY AND SUFFERING #limbus company #limbus company walpurgisnight #project moon #lobotomy corporation #limbus company outis #lcb outis #lcb #spark's project moon adventures #spark talks about nothing of relevance #I GENUINELY HAD SO MUCH FEAR AFTER SINCLAIR GOT HIT LAST TURN #i might attempt hard for the lulz but honestly i am so so so so tired of pmoon difficulty spikes #like how do you do this without any of the really high tier ego or identities. it doesn't seem fair /gacha moment

[pendragon1400]

Disapproval

I wish I could say something when my companions disapprove in BG3. Like I had a good playthrough, so I am used to Astarion disapproving, but Gale? He disapproved when I agreed to Vlaakith.

Tav: Of course we'll help!

Astarion still grumpy and glaring.

Tav: Don't worry, I'll show you that being a hero is okay.

Vs.

Tav clearly lying: Yes we will do your bidding.

Gale frowns.

Tav: No! I'm lying don't you get it!? Don't be disappointed in me! *Shouted at full volume in front of Vlaakith*

Vlaakith instantly kills entire party.

#bg3 #astarion #gale #funny #Not gonna lie #after having nothing but Gale approval all the time #That one disapproval really hit hard.

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[asleepinawell]

one of the biggest things I've gotten out of this replay of dark souls 1 is that not being able to warp between bonfires in early game and only being able to warp between a few specific ones later is one of the game mechanics that really helped define the mood and atmosphere of the game for me. yes i absolutely complain about this when I'm stuck somewhere, but the feeling of being this tiny person lost and a million miles from home and cut off from the safety of firelink shrine is so vital to the game

being near the start of tomb of giants and wanting to go back for something but knowing I'd have to go through a chunk of the catacombs again made me feel like just a little guy stuck in the dark with monstrous enemies and that is exactly the feeling that makes me love the game

i want to be a nobody stranded and alone in the land of ancient gods who don't want me there. the fact I'm a pawn being set up to relink the fire and perpetuate this dying age, fated to never have my name remembered, is the point to me. I'm walking through someone else's story and have so little control over my path and that's perfect

#with the extra bonfires they added for warping later i think they hit the correct formula for that #later games i felt less helpless in #and they were fine but they were missing something that was so vital to my enjoyment of ds1 #which is not to say later games were bad! #just a different vibe #and one that wasn't as cool to me personally #i could write a longer post about how the influence of bloodborne combat affected subsequent entries in the series #which i genuinely dislike #bloodborne was great but i liked the ds1 combat in the ds series #combat pacing i mean #not really as interested in bosses that bounce off walls at a million miles an hour and shit status effects all over you #i hear the devs say 'the dlc bosses are SO SO hard' and I'm just tired #make them interesting #make them fun #give them good atmosphere #let me feel like I'm learning steadily and feel satisfied rather than relieved after a fight #stop copy pasting bosses and putting them in tiny arenas to make them hard #did we learn nothing from capra demon #which was the worst boss in ds1 #mp #gaming stuff

[etapereine]

.

#the stardew wouthieu au is not happening this week friends i regret to inform you #it's like. i like what i have so far but i keep going back on forth on how i want to structure the rest of it #so actually *writing* the rest of it is hard #feels like i really hit a my stride for to1u and since then writing progress has been minimal #some of it i really think is after effects of the two big crashes like with so much worry and uncertainty writing is HARD #and then on top of that there's been real life business so it all adds up #so i have just bits and pieces of different wips here and there but nothing substantial #except for the one basically finished 1.1k oneshot that may not get posted at all or at least not for a bit longer #worst kind of writers block is when i WANT to be writing and i HAVE ideas but the words are just NOT coming grrr #anyway i feel bad bc i haven't done a tuesday prompt in soooo long #but this week is just not gonna happen

[legionofpotatoes]

been playing bits and pieces of horizon forbidden west! game's pretty as hell

#horizon forbidden west #photo mode #my edits #yannow. it got me thinking too. the npc fidelity in this game is off the fucking shits. never seen anything like it #even ​secondary dialogues are leaving all the competition in the dust. it's an insane level of work #major burnout red flags for sure. but also maybe talking about engines as specialized tools instead of ubiquitous ones isn;t so bad? #i mean there's definitely trends. ramming down RPGs down frostbite's throat has never worked well #while decima is tearing up the open worlds and tech fidelity quotas like nbd even on prev gen #is it really about implementation at this point #maybe some engines just. work best for certain types of hard goals. and choosing that right is what matters #i pkayed this after ragnarok and that game looks embarassing next to hfw. and I'm not even saying it flippantly. I stand by what i've said #shorter games less scope lower fidelity etc. for healthier dev teams. but this can be a scalability tell tale? maybe using something #like decima can mean an easier time for a standard EA dev cycle *without* hitting these insane fidelity goals. just thinking out loud #cause forever salty about frostbite. probably wrong but hey! I am on a blogging website famous for its phobia of deeper contexts #or maybe playing as aloy gave me that stupid self confidence juice #the way she bulldozes into delicate foreign policies with nothing but her ego and hutzpah really proves that whiteness is alive and well #in whatever variant of post-post-apocalypse this story is set into. they better interrogate her issues cause otherwise this plot will like #fizzle out under the weight of her self-righteousness lmao

[that-was-anticlimactic]

okay i'm sorry mutuals did i miss something in the three and a half hours i was driving is booping just a thing now is it a meme 😭

#i mean i'm all for booping but i'm seeing it from different mutual circles and memes and i don't get it😭 #i hate being busy/stressed and missing things ahhhhhh #imma prolly delete this larer/after someone tells me #sometimes the fomo just hits HARD #especially bc i can't really be on tumblr at all during work unless it's on my phone but ts makes it SO hard to use/type on my phone #so i usually don't and then i'm sleepy when i get home and do more work UGH #okay oops didn't mean to start :/// -ing in the tags lol #it's no one's fault but mine but i just miss everyone #aNYWAYS HAHHAHHAH I SAID NOTHING IN THE TAGS

[lucifer-kane]

flybird strawberry margarita save me. save me flybird strawbery margarita

#i love cheap alochol that still tastes good #betweeen this and stella rosa black? it's all i need babey #tho i would kill for a lemon drop rn. i don't have fresh lemons. only lemon juice #i don't drink a lot but this margarita has been in my fridge for moooooooonths #and it hits hard. and all at once #i drank an entire bottle once. felt nothing during the entire thing. 30 minutes after finishing the bottle it hit all at once #i typically only drink when im in call with friends but it's almost 2 in the morning sooooo #what i REALLY want rn. the banana cream pie moonshine #but also specifically my moms friends peach moonshine #alcohol

[baishouqijia]

i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3

#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me. #for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh. #having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y #as for home... Man (horse.jpg) #we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor #after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time. #i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes #wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done #so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal. #but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard. #anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out. #[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too #like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares #but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna #lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All. #' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR #sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox #anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn. #can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense. #aight byeee

[pea-brain]

outfit designs for my sister's oc lei-hua fan<3

#hire me for all your character design needs #the notes on her drawing were really the only instructions i got off the bat so nothing goes together lol #i just tried to go for cool 20 year old #she did tell me after the fact that she doesnt wear long skirts or shorts. so. #i'd say uhhhh i nailed the brief then #she said she'd combine aspects i designed to make an outfit. which is. worrying. as none of them go together at all #but i trust in her #oh also i made dressed down chinese and senegalese formal outfits. it was fun #sorry some are hard to see. i drew them at night (which makes me see colours badly) #based on what ive seen my sister draw lei-hua in i did nawt hit the mark. but i did enjoy myself #also. oh my god. cant draw glasses at a 3/4. literally impossible. #i also deeply dislike drawing feet #individual posts pending #finished

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#i need to stop doing this. but i just. i..... #.....I'll probably fall asleep minutes after i post this #so if you message me about it and i don't reply that's why #but i just #............fuck I'm trying so hard #it doesn't seem to matter #no matter how much i get done or accomplish it's never enough I'm always ten steps behind where i need to be to even reach net zero #not even the point of making progress. the point where i can so much as rest #I'm so tired. im so tired. nothing i think of works nothing i try is ever the right thing #i know from the outside looking in i may not seem like a burden i may even seem like an uplifting person to be around #but I'm a burden. #i am. I'm not self deprecating. it's a fact. it's just a fact. #as i am now i am a resource sink and i need too much help and i can't really be independent #and yet i don't really have a choice #so at present whoever i live with (currently my husband) gets stuck taking care of me because i just fall short in so many ways #.....i can't do anything right #nothing i do seems to matter. i can't.... i can't do anything #fuck #I'm just repeating myself I'm almost certain but #...............why can't i have a decent idea for once #all this confidence and i just keep fucking up anyway #worked so hard on being confident in myself that i don't match up to my own expectations now #i #.............fuck #everything hurts so badly #I'm so tired #....I'm so tired #....................if anyone happens to live in Minnesota and wants to just. come shoot me dead hit me up #im too much of a coward to do it myself

[belovedrm]

this is truly all i care about to be honest

#belovedrm.rambles #as long as he’s happy idgaf about anything else 😭 #also after reading the rant he posted the ADHD stuff hit me so hard cause i’m the same fucking way :/ #that’s why i don’t ever really complain when there’s a ‘’content drout’’ cause i know how he’s feeling :/ #and it’s nottttttt a fun one! lmfao 💀 #PLUS HE SAID HIS TWT SPACES ARE COMING BACK ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 #i could literally listen to him ramble for hours about Nothing . his voice makes my heart happy

[chaotictomtom]

:////

#realising once more wee bairn me wasn't really taken care of lol #who doesn't bring their kid to the hospital or at least a doc after hitting their lil head really hard against a hard tile floor. #it happened twice note the same situation nor the same age but none were like. checked on with a doc afterwards #i was like around 5? i think for the first time and then a wee bit before 10 #idk tbh i barely remember anything up until after highschool #tons of shit suck abt how i was raised but like what can i do abt the past. absolutely nothing!!!!!! trying to focus on da present #even tho it's hard #it just still feels like im not worth enough for any attention nor concern when stuff are bad but. yeah. #shrugs. big shrugs

[skoulsons]

.

#life has just been nothing short of hard thing after hard thing the past little while #and me. being the emotional person that I am. it hits me very hard. #drama and death and mental health concerns and sickness and broken relationships and #well now I’m sick and it’s a really bad cold. one of the worst I’ve had for sure. may have to go to the doc tomorrow if I’m not any better #could be worse I know #but on top of everything it just makes it worse #brushing my teeth has become a last resort because I’ve just been exhausted past what a normal human should experience #productivity right now is very low #sleep has been a nightmare #I really need a break. #I’ll get one. I know I will. things will clear up. all will be fine. #God is good. I know He’s with me through this. #but boy is there a lot going on right now. #and I’ve just. a stupid part of me just wants to disappear and cut contact with everyone. #not that it would help. I know it wouldn’t. humans are social. people care I guess. #life is just. it’s rough.

[the-yearning-astronaut]

How do you go about picking a new name for yourself? I've never really felt one way or another about my given name.... I just don't feel connected to it much is all. I don't hate it though, either. Like the rest of me it's just kinda There.

I'm thinking short, still. And definitely more gender neutral? Just don't know what.

I don't plan on changing my name -- not officially. I'm just getting ready to apply for graduate school in Sept and was contemplating adding a 'preferred' name to my applications. All the schools are out of state so I'd be getting a completely fresh start. What better way to test out a new name?

#names #new name #preferred name #chosen name #gender #gender identity #realized ive been having a bit of a gender crisis for the last while #and idk how to fix it #so i wanna try a new name #and im chopping my hair off on Wednesday #i have a real hard time when it comes to picking what to wear each day #i realized i don't have any short sleeved button ups or whatever... may have to hit up ross or tj maxx next week after payday #ive been trying to identify a clothing style i like other than oversized sweater/sweatshirt and joggers/leggings #and i find it's all over the place #i don't think its my clothes themselves im struggling with its my body #i keep rapidly gaining and losing weight due to my changes in meds and its really messing with my perception of myself #because one minute my clothes fit & the next they really really dont & they're either too snug or sliding off & just. nothing fills right #my name my pronouns my clothes my SKIN #people joke about feeling misplaced and alien or whatever but gdi everything feels so wrong 😭 #fox thoughts