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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

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Best Part of Me -Chapter 59

Warnings: Profanity

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @ocfairygodmother

A hot shower and a three hour nap -aided by a mixture of antidepressants, anxiety meds, and pain killers washed down by three shots of tequila- has done Tyler a world of good. Waking up feeling energized; still riding the high of the morning’s adrenaline rush and relatively pain free. Nothing more than a dull throb in the deepest part of the shoulder; some discomfort and audible cracking and popping when he stretches and manipulates it. But it’s bearable, unlike the agony that’s been a near constant fixture in his life for the past couple of years. While the initial replacement surgery and rehab had both been complete successes, a full recovery had eluded him. It had been his own fault, of course; the surgeon’s orders had been to alter his lifestyle and to avoid the very ‘activity’ that had caused so much damage in the first place. That ‘advice’ had lasted all of four months, until Nik had called, desperately needing his help and he’d been unable to resist both the lure of the game and the promise of damn good money.

He’d attempted to walk away several times in as many years, fully intending to commit himself to being a family man with his own little side business. Content with the motions of being the one to stay home with the kids while his wife either went back to school or found a new career she’d be happy with. But sometimes the best laid plans don’t work out. Not long after an early term miscarriage when the twins were two and a half, she’d gotten pregnant with Declan DESPITE being on birth control and coming to a mutual decision to wait until both Millie and the twins were in school full time before once again trying to add to their family. It had been completely unexpected, and off of their previous plans regarding their home life quickly went by the wayside. The job was easy money; he was confident in his skills and his abilities and Nik had promised to offer only the easiest of gigs.

That changed quickly. What should have been an ‘in and out’ assassination of a key political figure in El Salvador turning into a four day shit show that had him falling into dangerous enemy territory and almost needing to be extracted himself. After that, he’d said ‘fuck it’ and began taking whatever Nik brought to the table. And his physical health began to pay the price.

He orders a meal from room service and cracks open the bottle of whisky in the mini bar. He’s stuck to his word; staying sober while actually ON the job and not ever indulging during his downtime. Unlike the old days, he’s able to both pace himself AND stop after just a couple. A far cry from the guy who’d polish off an entire bottle and would be either too hung over to get up with his kids in the morning, or already passed out in the early evening; missing school events and extra curricular activities that he’d promised he’d attend. He refuses to be that guy again; the one who’d almost single handedly ruined his marriage because he put the bottle and the pain meds at the top of his priority list; allowing his addictions to take precedence over his family. The one who’d rightfully had his ass kicked out and then spent the next six months in a drunken stupor.

Never again. Never again will he be ‘that guy’. The absolute failure as a husband and a father. He can control it now; no longer needing to silence the inner demons or lessen the emotional suffering by getting. The want not nearly as powerful. Before it had been a way of life; no day complete without at least the smallest buzz. Now it’s a matter of convenience. Even enjoyment. A feeling of satisfaction and relief when the whisky finally hits the tongue and he experiences the initial burn in the back of his throat. After that, one drink doesn’t make him crave more. Instead satisfying his palate with bottle water and Gatorade and terrible coffee made in the hotel provided maker.

He’s lounging in the middle of the bed in a pair of boxer briefs when Koen finally returns. Back resting against the headboard and his legs stretched out; laptop resting on his thighs and a plate of food in his hands. And he only gives a brief glance towards the door when Koen stomps in and allows it to slam shut behind him. Offering no greeting, calmly and casually eating from the enormous serving of goat curry and naan bread, eyes never leaving the video playing on the computer; his three oldest on the plane, reading HIM a story and every so often having mispronounced words gently and lovingly corrected by their mother. And the grin that plays on his lips is double fold; pride and love for those beautiful and intelligent little human beings he’d had a hand in creating, and amusement at Koen’s mutters and complaints and strings of profanity.

“Look at you,” his friend grumbles. “All fucking relaxed and shit. Cocky, shit eating grin on your face.”

Tyler’s attention never leaves the laptop. A different video this time; Addie giving a real, genuine smile when she has her chin tickled. That one brings the prick of tears to his eyes. She’s still so tiny and so fragile, but she is...in fact...growing up.

“Why do you swear all the time?” He finally asks. “Makes you sound stupid. Find another fucking adjective.”

Koen smirks. “Well aren’t you just the clever one. Leave it to your brain damaged ass to remember THAT.”

“It’s my short term memory that’s fucked. Although I do remember threatening to throw your ass off the balcony. Keep calling me stupid or brain damaged, and it’ll happen.”

“Don’t be so goddamn sensitive. What’cha watching?”

“Just some videos Esme sent me. Of the kids. I’ve got two five year olds and a six year old that can read better than I can. How’d the fuck that ever happen?”

“Well their momma’s pretty damn smart. Maybe just be thankful their brains at least took after her.”

Tyler frowns, then flips Koen the middle finger. “I meant that they’re practically babies still and they can read like they’re a lot older. They’re so smart. So fucking smart.”

“Definitely gonna be trouble makers when they’re older. Imagine them as teenagers? Especially Millie? With that mouth of hers?”

“That mouth of hers is going to keep trouble AWAY from her. She says what she wants; fuck anyone’s feelings. Someone gets mouthy with her when she’s older, she’ll put them in their place. And if her own mouth doesn’t do it, her right hook will. She's a savage that kid.”

“Best of both mom and dad if you ask me. And look at you just kicking back. Acting like you didn’t just butcher two people this morning.”

Tyler shrugs. “Am I supposed to feel sorry for them?”

“Just thought maybe you’d be a little more...I don’t know...grumpy.”

“Why would I? They got what was coming to them. And they deserved a lot worse. You think that was brutal? Wait until I have more time and more space.”

“You’re starting to scare me a bit, mate. You’re enjoying this a little too much, I reckon.”

“Well if it was your family being threatened, you’d enjoy it too. You know what kind of things they would have done to my wife and kids? What I did is tame compared to what they had planned. I’ve heard the threats; you haven’t. It’s nightmare inducing shit. Let’s leave it at that.”

“That why you been freaking out in your sleep? Waking up barely able to breathe and shit? Scared the crap out of me the first couple of times.”

“It’s fucking with my head a bit,” Tyler admits. “Kind of hard not to let it mess with you. Trust me when I say that what I read? What was said about Esme? About the kids? I don’t wish any of it on my worst enemy.” It makes bile rise in his throat just thinking about it and he places the laptop on the bed and reaches for the bottle of Gatorade sitting on the nightstand. Downing half in order to rid himself of the bitterness and the burn. “Heard you guys had a bit of trouble.”

Koen scowls, pausing in the middle of taking off his gear. “Don’t get all cocky again, young man.”

“Not getting cocky. Just repeating what I heard. Didn’t you guys leave the same time I did?”

“Your point?”

“No point.” A slow, sly grin spreads across his face. “Just making an observation. I mean, I was alone and had to take out two people. By myself. Took me twenty minutes. And that includes me getting there AND back. You know all the shit I’ve done since then?”

“Nope. But I bet you’re gonna tell me, aren’t ya.”

“Took a shower, ate, slept for three hours. Now I’m eating again. And you’re getting back. Just now. It’s almost six. In the evening.”

“You’ve kept yourself busy. You jerk off sometime in there too?”

“Twice, actually.”

“Your lazy ass could have handled some more work. Instead you’ve been here slacking.”

“I’d done my bit for the day. Next time be faster.”

“Easy for you to say,” Koen scoffs. “Mister ‘I have all the experience’. You now, we could have used your help out there.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t hear that. Can you repeat it?”

“Don’t be a little prick."

“I swear you just said that you could have used MY help. I swear you just said that.”

“You’re asking for an ass kicking, you know that?”

“Funny how you wanted my help when this morning you were acting I like I didn’t know what the fuck In was doing. It’s almost like...I don’t know...like you’re actually admitting you were wrong.”

“I ain’t admitting shit. Just saying we could have used your help.”

“Why? Apparently I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I am five seconds away from punching you in the face,” Koen growls. “And your wife won’t be too happy if I mess that face up. So…”

“Just swallow your pride and admit you’re wrong, mate. That you shouldn’t have underestimated me. Get it off your chest. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Make you feel better, you mean. I’d rather stroke your cock than your ego.”

“Well you’re definitely never getting anywhere near my cock so it’s my ego or nothing.”

“Fine,” Koen sighs heavily. “I underestimated you. I will never again second guess your skills or your abilities. But I still think you’re a brain damaged fuck.”

“I’ll take it,” Tyler says, then sits the now empty plate and Gatorade bottle on the nightstand and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. “How did it go in the end?” he asks, groaning and grimacing as he stands. Forty starting to feel like it’s closer to death, never mind middle age.

“They’re dead. So it ended on a good note. Put up a hell of a fight. Rata took an elbow to the face and went crazy. Beat the guy to death. You would have been impressed. I think he’s a natural.”

“And you?”

“I prefer the simple things in life. Pull a trigger and it’s done. I’ll leave the more hands on, gruesome shit for you two. Gotta date or something?”

“Going to the airport.” He slips into a pair of jeans and a simple black t-shirt. “Going to see my wife and kids.”

“Think that’s a good idea?”

Tyler sighs in exasperation. “Don’t fucking start this shit again.”

“Just if anyone is following you and you lead them right to your family…”

“Anil gave me the okay. Said he’s got tons of guys keeping their eyes on things. Yaz is sending a couple of people with me. So fuck off with this overprotective bullshit.”

“Now you know how your wife feels.”

“I have a reason to worry about her. A LOT of reasons. Damn good ones too. If you’re going to ride my ass so hard, at least pull my fucking hair.”

Koen smirks. “You’re into that kinda shit, aren’t ya. I knew it. Always knew you were a freak.”

“As much as I’d like to stay here and discuss my sex life with you, I’ve got better things to do.” He attaches his holster to his right hip, gathers up his wallet and hotel key card and both phones.

“You better not come back here with that ‘’just got fucked’ grin on your face,” Koen warns. “Because I will beat your ass.”

“You’ll be too busy beating something else.” Tyler retorts, right hand mimicking jerking off. Chuckling when Koen throws a shoe at him when he steps out the door.

****

It’s only a fifteen minute drive to the airport and he already knows everything there is to know about the young tech that Yaz has recruited to ‘escort’ him. It’s annoying enough not to be able to something as simple as driving, but to have to stuck with someone that is overly chatty and friendly is nothing short of torture. He’s never been a social creature; unlike his wife who makes friends easily and never shies away from making conversation with just about anyone, including strangers in the grocery store or out on the street. She’d been the first...and only...chatty person that hasn’t gotten on his nerves.

Her name is Riya and she’s twenty one; last of eight kids, her mother and father both extremely successful and wealthy business people in Dubai. The so-called ‘black sheep’ of the family; all but disowned when she’d decided to attend an American university -Georgetown- and make her home there. Even if he HAD have been talker, he wouldn’t have had the chance to offer up much commentary; her mouth running a mile a minute as she nervously and awkwardly spills even the smallest details of her life.

He doesn’t have the heart to tell her to stop her. The old Tyler...the one that existed only six short years ago...would have already snapped and told her to shut the fuck up. But who he is now...the man he is...is different in so many ways. Far more patient. Considerate. Empathetic, even. And the father of a little girl that is the very definition of a chatterbox. Who’s bright eyed and bubbly and talkative from the time she opens her eyes in the morning until the moment she closes them at night. And he wouldn’t want some asshole speaking to his own daughter like that, so why would he?

“How long HAVE you been married for?” Riya asks, and he can hear Esme’s voice in his head; reminding him that not everyone is out to get him. That their curiosity is often just that. They’re genuinely interested in him and want to be his friend.

“Six and a half years.” Sometimes it doesn’t feel nearly that long. Other times, considering all of the bad shit they’ve been through and the time they didn’t think they’d make it. It seems a hell of a lot longer.

“And five kids, right? In only six and a half years?”

“We’ve really been together for seven. Well, almost seven. But yeah. Five kids.”

“They must be really close together.”

“First three are. My daughter is six, the boys are five.”

“Twins? Identical or…?”

“Fraternal. Millie...my daughter...was only two months when we found out they were on their way. They were kind of a surprise, needless to say. We have another boy after them; he’ll be two in a few months. And we have a baby girl. Almost eight weeks.”

“Just a little one.”

Tyler nods. “Very little. Very tiny. My wife is, too, Small. But feisty as hell. And tough. Toughest and strongest person I know.”

“Yaz said you met on the job.”

“Yeah, we got sent out on the same gig, To Bangladesh. Actually had to pretend we were married.”

Riya laughs. “Really?”

“First time I ever got mixed up in something like THAT. It’s a long story, but in the end, my fake wife ended up becoming my real wife.” He doesn’t feel the need to fill in the gaps between beginning and end; Dhaka and what happened there has never been kept off the radar. Word travels fast in the dame, and every single details has been made available; everything from Mahajan fucking him over to Gaspar’s betrayal to his near death experience.

“Probably the best ending to a job you’ve ever had,” Riya comments.

“Took me nearly dying and her sticking her fingers in my neck to keep me alive, but yeah, in the end things turned out pretty damn good. What about you? You got a family? Other than the ones that don’t speak to you?”

“Nope. It’s just me. It’s hard finding someone that understands this kind of life. Who won’t judge you for it. And the people you meet through this life aren’t exactly the settling down types. As much as I want to believe I’ll meet someone, I probably should just prepare myself to be alone for the long haul.”

“There’s gotta be someone out there. Either in the game or someone who won’t be bothered by it.”

Fuck. He’s starting to sound like his wife. Years spent listening to her reason with her little sister over the phone that there has to be a guy -or girl- out there that would be into her; a full time student with five cats and a host of mental health issues and an extremely toxic family. Or hearing her talk Ovi through his personal issues; always chasing the wrong girl and left brokenhearted in the end. Normally he just stays out if; offering shrugs of the shoulders or a simple nod or a head shake when Esme attempts to get him involved.

“Maybe there is,” Riya sighs. “Do you have any single friends?”

“My single friends are single for a reason. And I’m a lot older than you and they would be too. So…”

“What about Ovi? He’s your friend. He’s young. Is he single?”

“He’s actually more my son than my friend”

“Son?” Her brow furrows in confusion. “How…?”

“Another long story. We ended up taking in him, giving him a proper home, a family. But yeah. He’s single.”

“Do you think maybe you could…?”

Tyler laughs. “Yeah...no. Just no. I’m not trying to be a dick about it, but I don’t get involved with this kind of thing. That, and I’ve got some pretty serious shit I’m dealing with and it’s definitely NOT the time even if I WAS the kind that would help. I mean, my wife likes to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. You could always ask her to talk to him or whatever. I’m not who you want. Trust me.”

“Do you think she would? Put in a good word for me?”

“I guess,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Look, I’m not the sociable type. So I don’t mean to come across as an asshole, but…”

“You’re honest,” she says. “I heard that about you. That you don’t say much, but you mean what you say and don’t pull any punches.”

“I can be a little harsh,” Tyler admits. “So I’ve been told, anyway. I’ve bet you heard a lot of things about me.”

She nods.

“Probably not a lot of good things.”

“More good than bad. But the bad is pretty...well...bad. I don’t know; you don’t seem that awful to me. I mean, how awful can someone be when they have a wife and five kids? No woman would stick around long enough to have one kid, never mind that many.”

“Never thought of it that way. I’m not an easy person to live with. I’ve put her through a lot. But maybe I’m not as terrible as I think I am.”

“I don’t think she’d still be around if you were. If she’s as tough and strong as you say she is, she would have hauled ass a long time ago.”

****

He’s still thinking of those words when they arrive at the airport; pulling right onto the tarmac behind the smaller hangar he’d flowed into only two days before. It feels like a lifetime has passed since then. Since he’s stood in front of his home, kissing and hugging his wife and kids goodbye and wondering if he’d ever see them again. With how successful the morning had been, he wants to be more confident in regards to the eventual outcome. But he knows how things work; each kill will get harder and messier and more complicated. Mahajan will clue into his involvement and up the stakes even more. One good day doesn’t mean you can let your guard down. Not in the slightest.

Riya waits in the car, but both drivers and passengers of the three vehicles that had followed them climb out. Staggering themselves along the tarmac, eyes surveying the surroundings; bullet proof vests under their clothing, weapons at the ready. The jet’s already arrived and the stairs being placed in front of the open door when he crosses the distances between it and the car; less than ten feet away when the first little body appears. Millie with her ever present messy hair and those Spiderman sandals; an Incredible Hulk t-shirt paired with a frilly -and glittery- pink and purple tutu over a pair of camo leggings. Her head down at first and a slight frown on her face; shrugging a unicorn and sloth themed backpack onto her shoulders and one foot tentatively checking the strength and support of the stairs in front of her. And when she finally does glance up, the look is one of shock at first. Her brow furrowed and those huge blue eyes wide and disbelieving. Then quickly widening and sparkling when realization sets in; a brilliant smile spreading across her face.

“Daddy!” She shrieks, and immediately forgets about her discomfort on the stairs, rushing down them and leaping from the second last one; not even stumbling or missing a single stride. “Daddy!”

Tyler catches her as she throws herself at him, effortlessly scooping her up into his arms. Feeling those little arms immediately circle his neck, squeezing as tight as they can and how soft her cheeks and her forehead are against his lips and how impossibly light she seems.

“You said we wouldn’t see you for a few days!” Her tone has a slight scolding quality to it.

“I thought I’d surprise you guys. I got things finished nice and early so I could come and say hi. I missed you,” he lays a hand on the back of her head and presses a kiss to her temple and then her brow. “I missed you so much.”

“I miss you too. This is the best surprise EVER.”

“Even better than getting Saju as a late birthday gift?”

"I love Saju, but I love you more. You’re my daddy. And I was worried about you. About the bad guys getting a hold of you.”

“The bad guys don’t stand against me. You know that.”

“Daddy!” TJ hollers, and soon both he and his brother -and two dogs- are racing towards him. And with Millie still on his hip, he drops down to one knee, laughing when the force of those of those small bodies - and all of the power and excitement and love inside of them- knock him off balance and he finds himself on his ass on the damp, cold tarmac. Gathering all three kids into his arms and pulling them tightly into him.

“I knew you could do it,” Tanner’s face is buried in the side of his neck, tears hot against his skin. “I knew you could beat up the bad guys and still come and see us! I missed you. I missed you so much.”

“I’ve only been gone two days, mate.”

“Doesn’t matter if it’s only two hours. I still missed you.”

“I missed you too. I missed ALL of you.”

He presses his lips to each forehead, returns each tight, fierce hug. Still sitting on the ground as he listens to all three speak at once’ excited tales about what they’d done on the plane and the movies they’d watched and the naps they’d taken and the food they’d eaten, Millie showing off her matching bracelet. And she moves out of the way when Delcan arrives; a beaming smile on his face and a ‘miss daddy’ in his tiny voice before throwing his arms around Tyler’s neck. And he runs his fingers through his son’s silky red hair and showers his cheeks with kisses and holds him as tight as Declan will let him. And even now he’s not sure he deserves all of this. The adoration and the unconditional love and their blind faith and trust in him.

“Good to see ya,” Kyle says in greeting, placing Addie -in her car seat carrier- on the ground beside him, then offering a hand to help Tyler to his feet and giving him a one armed hug. “Especially in one piece. Heard today was the day. Must have went okay. You’re standing here.”

“Went better than I thought it would. I’ll take a good start over a bad one any day.” He drops to a knee once more, smiling at his baby girl as he unfastens the straps of the carrier. “Hey sweet pea...hey little peanut…” he scoops that tiny body into his arms, settling her against his chest; a forearm under her bum, hand on the back of her head. “Daddy missed you. He missed you so much.”

“What are you even doing here?” Esme inquires as she joins them, a playful scolding tone to her voice and a look of pure relief on her face.

He grins down at her. “I guess crossing your fingers worked.”

“I guess it did,” she says, and he’s able to keep Addie pressed securely against him with one arm as he wraps the other around his wife; pulling her tightly into him, lips meeting her temple. “I know it’s only been two days,” her voice is muffled against his chest, both arms around his waist. “But I have missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. It’s felt longer than two days.”

She nods, pulling away slightly to look up at him, tears sparking in her eyes. “I was so worried about you. Everything went okay?”

“Better than I thought it would. I’ll call you later and tell you all about it. Fill you in on all the gory details.”

“Yes, because I just love your stories of mutilation and homicide. You’re okay?” Her hands rub at his sides. “You look okay.”

“I’m fine. Not a scratch on me.”

“Guess you haven’t lost your touch after all. And to think you were worried about that.” Her face turns serious, the amount of tears in her eyes increasing. “I was so fucking worried about you, Tyler.”

“I know you were.” He presses a kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry. Everything’s fine.”

“I’m just relieved. That I didn’t just have to take your for it and I got to see it...you...with my own eyes. I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you.”

“Now you’re going to make ME cry.”

“Did you get the videos? Did you watch them?”

“I did. And I’m slightly concerned that my six year and five year olds are already smarter than I am.”

“I don’t think they’re anywhere near being that smart yet, but they are crazy intelligent. Almost scary HOW intelligent. We are going to have our work cut out for us, I think. Having three brainiacs in the house?”

“Four if you count their mom. Where do you think they get it from? My looks, your brain. We’ve been through this.”

“Is that some sneaky, backhanded way of calling me ugly?” she teases.

“Baby, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, you know that. And I love you,” he places a soft kiss to her lips. “So much.”

“I love you too. And did you see Addie? Her smile? Her REAL smile? She smiles exactly like you. Her eyes crinkle and everything. So there. She DID get something from you, after all. Are you okay?” She reaches up and lays a hand on the side of her face, running her thumb over his lips. “With what happened? You’re alright?”

“I’m okay. I just missed you guys. It’s been harder than I thought it would.”

“It’s been six months. You had a whole different life for half a year. I’d be worried if going back to this WASN’T hard.”

“It’s not just that. It’s...I don’t know….” Tyler shrugs. “I can’t talk about it right now. Not with the kids around.”

“Is it about what you did?”

He nods. “About what I did. How I felt about it. How I DIDN’T feel. We’ll talk later. I can’t stay long; just in case someone is keeping an eye on me. You guys will be safer at the house than you will be standing out here talking to me.”

“Thank you. For making the effort to get here. The kids needed that; to see you. I needed that. I really needed to see you. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“I needed to see you, too. I was worried I’d never get the chance again. And I wish I could stay longer. Or go to the house with you guys. I’d give anything to be able to do that. Anything.”

She gives a small, understanding smile. “I know you would.”

“I gotta go.” He holds Addie out in front of him, kissing her forehead. “I love you, little peanut. Stop growing up so fast. You might be the last one.”

“We’ll talk about that later too,” Esme says, and he leans down to press a kiss to her temple before placing Addie in her arms. “I love you. We’ll see you in a few days, right?”

“Yep.” He attempts a reassuring smile, then kisses her; long and soft and sweet. “I love you. Call me when the kids are asleep. We’ll talk about stuff.”

“Okay,” she agrees, squeezing him tightly and burying her face in her chest once more when he gives her one last hug. Holding onto him longer and tighter than before. Unable to control the tears that trickle down her face.

****

“You should see this place,” Esme says four hours later, after all the kids have finally settled in their rooms and have managed to fall asleep. “Remember when we stayed at Mahajan’s? What that place was like? Well this Mahajan’s on steroids. I am serious. Ten bedrooms. TEN! And eleven bathrooms! Who cleans all those bathrooms? We have three and we can’t keep up half the time. And the master ensuite is bigger than our entire bedroom. And our room at home is what I consider huge.”

He can’t hold but smile at the youthful exuberance in her voice. He knows she’s exhausted; physically and emotionally. Not just from a twelve hour flight with five kids, but with everything that’s gone down within the past month and a half. But he can hear the difference; being in Mumbai and closer to him has lifted some of the stress and worry, replacing it with relief and at least some peace of mind.

“And you should the shit this guy has,” she continues. “I’ve never seen anything like it. An underground garage full of insanely expensive exotic cars. A home theatre, indoor and outdoor pools and jacuzzis, his own tennis and basketball courts. Who needs all this stuff? I thought we had a lot of stuff. This? This is our stuff times a thousand.”

“We have a lot of stuff...normal stuff...because we have five kids. He has a lot of stuff because he doesn't have anyone or anything else to spend his money on.”

“”I mean, we have money too. We’re not exactly poor. Not anymore, anyway.”

“We don’t have his kind of money, babe. What we have in the bank is like a month’s salary to him.”

“We also don’t buy stuff just to buy and have stuff. This is just insane to me. And the animals. It’s not one or two, Tyler. It’s its own goddamn zoo. He’s got tigers and monkeys and peacocks and a sloth. And snakes. So many snakes. Don’t even get me started in the snakes. All I have to say is thank god they’re far enough away from the house and securely contained. Because you know my fear of snakes.”

“I don’t know where this fear comes from. We’ve only had one snake in the house so far”

“In my shoe!” She reminds him. “Which I tried to stick my foot into, thank you very much.”

“What was one of the first things I told you when we first moved back to Australia? Especially where we moved TO. Check your shoes before you put them on. If you listened to me more often…”

“What if it bit me?”

“You would have lived because it wasn’t poisonous. And it was a baby. The way you fucking screamed, you would have though it was an anaconda trying to eat one or two of the kids.”

“I don’t like snakes. I told this when we first lived there. That I’m scared of them but I loved you enough to live somewhere where there’s tons of them. And you promised you’d be the one to handle them. And the spiders.”

“Which I have. And the dingoes. Have I let a dingo get you?”

“You’re probably waiting for the opportunity to feed me to one.”

“Baby, if I wanted to get rid of you, there’s about a hundred different ways I could do it. And feeding you to a dingo is NOT one of them. And I don’t want to get rid of you, so…” He stretches his legs out in front of him, resting his bare feet on the top railing of the balcony. “...you’re safe.”

“What I don’t understand is our children’s fascination and love of snakes and spiders. If you didn’t encourage them to pick the damn things up and let them crawl all over them…”

“They’re not dangerous. They can’t hurt the kids. Let’s not raise pussies, okay? They have to learn about stuff, yeah? Let them learn. As long as they’re not in danger, what’s the worst that could happen? What are they going to do? Want a Huntsman as a pet?”

“I will refuse to step foot in the house again,” she declares. “I will move out. I will live with Ovi in the guest house. If you EVER let the kids do anything like that, I swear…”

“I’d miss you too much. I know what lines I can’t cross.”

“Speaking of lines you shouldn’t cross. Who’s the girl you were with tonight?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“What? You thought I wouldn’t notice you left with her?”

Tyler grins. “Esme, are you jealous?”

“Do I have a reason to be?”

“I kind of like this. You getting all jealous. You getting all worked up. It’s kinda hot, actually. And no, you don’t have a reason to be jealous. She’s young enough to be my kid.”

“Maybe she likes older men.”

“Good for her. But I like you, so…”

“So who is she?”

“Riya. She works for Nik. She’s from Dubai. Apparently her folks are loaded and basically disowned her for going to school in the States and picking the job she did. Sound familiar?”

“That DOES seem a little too close to home for my liking.”

“She actually wants to talk to you.”

“Oh how cute,” Esme scoffs. “She wants my permission before she bangs my husband. Well at least this is asking before she tries.”

“Only person I want to bang is you. And she wants to talk to you about Ovi.”

“Ovi? What about him?”

“You’re the one who can’t stay out of other peoples’ business, right? You like meddling in relationships.”

“Pardon me? It’s advising. Not meddling. Advising.”

“She wants you to hook her up.”

“With Ovi?”

“Are you following along at all or have I been talking to myself?”

“I mean, it’s Ovi. He’s like my kid. No. Scratch that. He IS my kid. I can’t set him up./”

“Why not?”

“Do you want me setting Millie up? Or TJ? Or Tanner?”

“First off, Millie is six. The boys are five. It’s not the same thing. Just do it. Put in a good word for her.”

“So now you’re encouraging me to meddle? That’s a first for you.”

“I’m encouraging you to help a poor, desperate girl out. And Ovi too. He’s been acting like a little bitch since Chloe took off and I can’t can’t take much more. So do me a solid and save what’s left of my sanity and help Ovi get laid.”

“Okay, wow. THAT’S a little disturbing. Isn’t that supposed to be your thing? Anything sex related? You’re a guy. You find him a piece of ass. Call one of your hoes from your old little black book.”

“Actually, I didn’t have anyone in India,” Tyler admits.

“You poor baby,” she scoffs. “My heart bleeds for you. And find. I will put in a good word for this girl. But if you want him to get laid, you figure out how to make it happen. And don’t sample the goods, either.”

“Only goods I want to sample are yours. So why don’t you come over here and let me.”

“You’re hurting, aren’t you,” Esme laughs.

“A little. It’s been forever.”

“It’s been two days, Tyler.”

“Feels like it’s been forever. What are you wearing?”

“Are you serious right now? You want to have phone sex?”

“You can’t come here and I can’t go there, so…”

“I’m wearing a lovely combination of premenstrual syndrome, baby puke, and dog hair.”

“Now THAT’S sexy. PMS, huh? So things are going back to normal that way.”

“It was going to happen eventually,” Esme sighs. “After the next one, they can take everything out. I’m done. I won’t need any of it anymore. They can have it. If I never have a period again, that’s fine by me, I’d say it’s good for you too because you won’t have to put up with my extreme bitchiness once a month, but you have two daughter who will go through this one day.”

He frowns “Can Addie at least get to her first birthday before we talk about this shit?”

“It’s going to happen, Tyler. I mean it could happen to Millie in a few years. I was ten.”

“Esme, for fuck sakes. I don’t…”

“Sorry, honey. I hate to break your heart like this. But one day it’s going to happen. And one day she’s even going to want to have sex and need to go on birth control and…”

“Do you want a divorce? Because bringing this shit up is how you get a divorce.”

“I love you, Tyler James. You’re my favorite human And I love how you can impale someone with a garden rake but you can’t handle the thought of your daughter maturing. You’re so fucking cute. You’re so cute, I’d have phone sex with you right now if my cramps weren’t so bad. I am telling you, after the next one? My body is done. That’s it. Take it all out. It’s not needed anymore.”

“Next one? I thought we weren’t going to talk about that until I got home.”

“I made the decision. Without you.”

He smirks. “Oh, so you mean like you usually do about everything.”

“Pretty much. If you really want another one…”

“You gotta want it too. Not just me. I don’t want you doing it just because I want it.”

“I do want to. One more. An even number. And if something happens like it did with the one that should have been between the twins and Declan…”

Tyler sighs. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“We stop if something goes wrong. Because once was bad enough. Well twice, if I count the one with Mark. I can’t keep having my heart broken like that. And if we can’t successfully carry another one, we just stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees. “And it wasn’t fun for me, either. Going through that. It was my baby too.”

“I know. But you were amazing and so good with me and it made me love you even more. I’m worried about you, Tyler. There was something in your eyes tonight. When you talked about what you did today. I can’t put my finger on it. I just know what I saw and that I’ve never seen it before. It wasn’t old Tyler OR new Tyler. I don’t know who it was.”

“Before I tell you what’s going on, I need to tell you what I did. And I know you hate hearing the gory details. But I need to tell you.”

“Okay…” There’s a slight rustle of the phone as she shifts positions in bed. “...I’m not going to sleep for a couple days after this, am I.” While she accepts and supports what he does, she draws the line at hearing the details. She’d seen enough in Dhaka, and once that was over, so was her desire to ever see -or think about- another drop of blood again. “Did you shoot them?”

“No. I didn’t shoot them. I was more...hands on.”

“Like your bare hands, or…?”

“Sort of. I kinda slit a guy’s throat and gutted another one. Literally.”

“Okay…”

“And I liked it. I liked doing it. And I’ve never liked doing it before. I killed because I had to. Because I had to keep myself alive. Now I’m doing it because I WANT to. Because I enjoy it. That’s fucked, yeah? Tell me that’s fucked. That I’M fucked.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s fucked. And I definitely won’t say you’re fucked. And I can’t say I’m totally shocked. Or shocked at all, to be honest.”

“Maybe we’re both fucked,” he says. “And not in the good, fun way either.”

“Well before you question our levels of depravity and insanity, let’s look at this for what it is. This isn’t a normal job. This isn’t what you’re used to. You’re used to not having any emotional ties to what you do. You go in, you do what you have to do, you get out. That’s it. You don’t know these people, you don’t know the people they’re hurting, none of that. You’re not connected to any of them, right?”

“Right.”

“Well this time you DO have a connection. A very personal one. These people threatened your family. And I don’t know exactly what the threats are, but they must be pretty bad if you won’t tell me. I mean, people are saying horrible, twisted things about people you love. About me and your kids. It doesn’t get more fucked up than that; threatening children. Addie’s one of them and she’s just a baby. What kind of fucked person says shit like that about a baby?”

“Evil people,” Tyler concludes. “Really fucking evil.”

“And you’re pissed. To your very core. I see if in your eyes, Tyler. I hear it in your voice. How angry you actually are. How disgusted you are. And you have every right to feel those things. This is as personal as it gets. And you wonder why you enjoyed it? I’d enjoy it too if someone threatened you and I got to kill them. I’d enjoy every fucking second.”

“It just makes me feel like such a dick,” he admits. “Like I’m a horrible fucking person. I made the one guy look at me. Made him watch me while I slit his throat. And he recognized me. He knew who I was. And I liked that he did. That my face was the last thing he saw.”

“And that doesn’t make you a bad person,” Esme says. “A bad person wouldn’t be worried that it makes him a bad person. You’re a good person, Tyler. I know you struggle to see that. But I see it. And I know it. I know who you are away from all of this. I know how loving you are. How gentle you are. What you did today...what you felt or didn’t feel...that doesn’t erase who you are or what you’re like away from all of this.”

He blinks back tears “This is fucked. This all so fucked.”

“You’re doing what you have to do. You’re stopping them before they can do the same thing to us. Or worse.”

“Definitely worse. Much, much worse.”

“Do you want to tell me what the threats were or…”

“No. You don’t need to hear that. You don’t need that shit in your head. It’s bad enough it’s in mine. That it’s probably never going to leave.”

“We’ll work on that,” Esme promises. “Your brain. When we get home. We’ll work on it TOGETHER. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Tyler. So much. And I wish I could be right there with you. I know this isn’t easy for you. That you’re struggling with so many things. But I love you and I’m so proud of you.”

He swallows around the lump of emotion sitting in this throat and using a forearm to wipe the tears from his face. “I love you. And this sucks. Being away from you. You’re so close but it’s like you’re so fucking far.”

“If you need me there, I can find a way. And I will. You know me. I’m pretty sneaky and tenacious on a good day.”

He gives a small chuckle. “Yeah, you are.”

“And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. So if you need me there….”

“I’m okay. For now anyway. Stay with the kids. They need you.”

“So do you. Even if you won’t admit it.”

“I do. Need you. But they need you more.”

“Promise me you’ll call if it gets worse. If you change your mind. Because I’ll figure it out. How to get to you and stay with you. Promise me.”

“I promise. I’ll call you if I need you.”

“Get some sleep, okay? It’s been a long day. Call me in the morning. Just so I know how you’re doing.”

“I will.”

“And thank you. For showing up tonight. Seeing you did a world of good for the kids. Especially Tanner. He’s finally smiling again. And he has such a beautiful smile. YOUR smile. And it did me a world of good too. To see you. I miss you, And your arms. It was really nice to be in those arms again,”

“It felt good to have you in them. Hopefully in a few days…”

“It’ll happen. I know it will. You’re doing fine. Just keep doing what you have to do. That’s it. We’ll talk in the morning, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Get some sleep,” she gently orders, and then disconnects the call.

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

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reggie-trying-thier-best · 4 years

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ive been going though a lot of death note stuff and ive seen a bunch of different ships (which i chill with like all of them idc what you ship) but one of my favorite that i came across that i had never really though about was Matsuda x L. Now its not my otp and im fully aware that it could never happen in canon and im not here to argue about it either.

the reason i love it some much is because ive spent like the past week thinking about the Wammy’s kids reaction. And it is wonderful.

(this is like an au where Kira gets caught and like non of the main characters die i haven't worked everything out )

I dont want to get into the logistics of how they find out, but imagine them learning that L is with someone and everyone loses their fucking mind because how. and then they learn its a guy some are a tad surprise but no one really cares and are more mad at themselves for doing some hetronormative bs. so now all this does it lower the possibilities of who it could be.

Now most of the kids of the kids try to find out and either give up or dont want to overstep boundaries except of 3 of them Matt, Mello, and Near. while Mello wanted to find out who it was on his own first they are able to have a truce to find out L’s partner’s identity, because like they really really really want to know.

i would like to say at this point that the expectations for L’s partner at this point are through the fuck roof like the standards are sets so high L and Kira combined couldn't surpass it even with like the help from god or something.

It takes them month of intense investigation to find out anything and the finally are able to narrow down the suspect list one of those people being Matsuda. Near decided he is the most likely because he is was on the Kira case and is one of the few people to have ever actually net L in person and knew it was L in front of them.

So they focus their investigations on him.

They all think that this man must be intelligence because even if he isn't L’s partner he was on the kira case and every one who was working to catch kira must of had high intelligence right?

so near starts doing throughout research and background checks into this mans life as far as preschool. Matt carefully bugs the place and hides trackers everywhere he could think of. Mello has a different person following him every day.

Near finds nothing unusual he has a clean record and good grades (i dont think matsuda was an idiot like he wasn't L or Light smart but he was a detective at a young age and while idk how Japanese law enforcement works i imagine detectives have to be decently intelligent) , but besides him being mark for have excellent marks in the shooting range he found nothing that caught his attention. Near considered that these file were fake or at least tampered with just to protect him from standing out but didn't find evidence of that either.

Mello was worried the he would notice being followed but he never seemed to notice and even if he saw the guy he would act friendly to them and once strikes up a polite conversation, witch had scared the paid stalker half to death and mello was shocked to see how one he was annoying nice, two didn't seem to see though the guys obvious lying, and three just seemed extremely naive and trusting. Mello didn't find anything that could show he was with L, but he expected this. what he did expect was how unlike the person he imagined. This guy regularly went to work and the gym and in his free time would go on jogs through the park and the shooting range, was very social and helpful to everyone he met . Mello had imagine someone much like the antisocial L not this butterfly. Something mello also noticed but would never admit to was how attractive he was like damn dude got muscles for days. Something he did note was if he ever got asked out by anyone male or female he would politely turn them down and it the person ever got pushy about it he would reveal he was in a relationship with someone else but never gave any details about them, Mello thought was a possible connection because he never saw him with anyone in a romantic fashion, but it could still him just being polite. One final thing he thought was strange was he was sometime a part time manager for the pop star model Misa... which was weird mello thought but whatever.

Matt’s tracker didn't reveal anything mello didn't already find. the bugs didn't find anything other of the ordinary either. the guy watched TV sometimes and friends over that talked about mundane things and would often tell matsuda he was being annoying. He would sometimes call this girl Misa and they would talk about the most stupid of things. This guys was an idiot Matt though after hacking into his computer and find nothing of interest expect for some sad google searches of things that either everyone should know or at least should be common sense like seriously dude. their were a lot of sweet’s recipes though despite this guy not seeming to ever eat anything sweet.

Once they got together and talked about their finding they were like no this man could not be him L would never be with someone so stupid, sociable, and well annoying. they were frustrated for wasting so much time and effort and no have to start back for square one. Matt removes the bugs and mello stops stalking the poor man and their investigation continues without a single break in the case.

(Now on L’s side of thing the reason they couldn't find a connection to Matsuda and L is because L is extremely careful to keep Matsuda a secret from anyone that could hurt him or try to use him to get to L. L will be gone for weeks at a time trusting matsuda to be loyal and matsuda was because god dammit he would of be a good bf or try to at least. and if they had investigated him a little longer they would of saw he went on a mysteriously paid for vacation to another part of japan and stay in a hotel with a Rue Ryuzaki for about 2 weeks)

While the boys never give up on their investigation they do have other thing to focus on and while they still tried to find out who L was with the started to focus more of their energy on other things. until on day L invites them all to work on a particular difficult case. not necessarily because he couldn't solve it on his own but because it was suggested to give them a kinda “field training” with L.

And to much of their shock and dismay the only other person with them is the same fucking matsuda that they had been investigating before.(after a while matsuda quite the police force and worked and be with L full time) He didn't seem to add much to the the actually investigation but instead acted more like another Watari and did a lot of the physical work of the investigation , like going undercover and actually apprehending the suspect with other officers, things like that.

At the end of the investigation they almost managed convinced themselves that this is just a coincidence and no way are they together yeah its jut a coincidence.

that is until the end of the investigation and Matsuda give a like peck on L’s cheek.

Near, Mello, and Matt while all doing it in different ways

absolutely freak the fuck out.

#death note #matsuda #L #Near #nate river #mello #miheal keehl #matt #mail jeevas #matsuda x l #auto correct kept trying to change matsuda into masturbate #this is the most ive ever wrote #sorry if its a mess its kinda word vomit tbh #might write a fanfic on it be idk yet

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tvdversefanfiction · 4 years

Text

Canary Carnage

Chapter Four: Brotherhood of The Vampire

Warnings: I don’t own any of the rights, content or characters belonging to any of the DC content I use within the story along with not owning any rights, content or characters within The Vampire Diaries, Originals or Legacies.

18 Rating: Moderate/Graphic displays of violence, sexual innuendos, sexually charged scenes, SMUT, strong language and potentially triggering scenes.

Pairings: M/M, F/F, M/F.

Laurel Lance hadn’t been having the best time since coming to this new world she and her brother called Earth Blood.

She had went from having a strained alliance with the Mikaelson family to almost being murdered by Rebekah and Kol which led to a surprising rescue from her clearly not entirely evil after all brother and now she had to deal with the fallout of her supposedly dead sister Sara Lance and her first love Oliver Queen showing up on Earth Blood very much alive.

It was fair to say Laurel was spiraling ever so slightly so when her brother Lucas Lance took the prerogative to cover up their sister’s recent murder and reform their alliance with the Mikaelson family she was pleased he had managed to lift some weight off her and despite never quite fully trusting her brother she was more than happy for him to leave New Orleans with Klaus for France to help the original hybrid get his older brother Elijah Mikaelson back.

Laurel’s plan was to sort things out with Sara and learn more about her life after her death and attempt to give Oliver time to explain himself but their betrayal still stung her hard and despite desperately wanting to reconnect with her sister she couldn’t help how she felt so instead of operation sisterhood she decided to hang out in Rousseau's in an attempt to escape her mind not realizing things were never quiet in New Orleans.

“So, considering we’re going out on a limb here by trusting your brother being innocent of my sister’s murder it really bothers a girl when her spies reveal there’s two more occupants staying in the hotel your brother seized.” Rebekah complained to the Black Canary after vamp speeding into the bar to find Laurel sat at the counter drinking from a bottle of beer. “This little partnership of ours is holding on by a thread as it is so I demand you tell me who exactly checked in.”

“If you must know one’s my sister the other’s my first love and yes their sharing a room.” Laurel replied as she took another drink. “Hence my need to be anywhere but there and my lack of caring to your attempts to threaten me.”

“I thought you told me they died on some boat when they were having some dirty weekend away together?” Rebekah questioned as she sat down next to Laurel.

“Nope turns out their very much alive and clearly still seeing each other after all this time.” Laurel admitted as she finished her beer. “I’m supposed to be the dutiful sister and try to forgive and forget but with one sibling being a backstabbing bitch and the other being a psychopath I’m getting real sick of being the oldest sibling.”

“My brother Niklaus used to dagger each one of us anytime we did something that didn’t amuse him,” Rebekah revealed as she ushered the bartender for a drink. “My siblings never stole any of my men, but my bastard brother did kill a bunch of them.”

“Suddenly I don’t feel too bad about my family.” Laurel joked with Rebekah as the bartender walked over to the Black Canary and the female original and passed Laurel another bottle of beer and Rebekah a glass of red wine.

“Don’t get me wrong your brother is a bloody bastard but he clearly has your back just like mine this sister of yours however seems like she should’ve stayed dumped at the bottom of the ocean.” Rebekah replied as she took a drink from her wine. “As for this man I don’t understand how he’s even still breathing I’d have killed him the second I saw him again if I were you but I guess that’s why being a good girl is never fun for anyone.”

Klaus Mikaelson never like partnerships in general least of all ones with people he believed responsible for his sister’s demise but he had to think about his brother Elijah knowing his alliance with the canaries only had to last just a little longer until his brother was back in the family fold and then he’d kill the Red Canary and everyone associated with him.

Klaus had compelled his way onto a private plane having compelled the pilot to fly him and his canary alliance to France on their search for Elijah and as Klaus was sat waiting for the Black Canary to show up he quickly found himself with an unpleasant surprise as the Red Canary walked onto the private plane and sat down opposite the original hybrid with an annoying smile on his face.

“I don’t think we’ve officially met I’m Lucas Lance your brother Kol knows me very well and I’ve met both of your sister’s condolences on the deceased sister by the way.” Lucas greeted him, clearly trying to torment the original.

“What the hell are you doing here and please talk quickly if you want me not to kill you right here and now.” Klaus snapped at the Red Canary.

“Firstly, that’s just rude considering my family’s doing your family such a big favour and secondly my sister Laurel is having a few days off to recover from my other sister Sara and Laurel’s ex’s return from the dead.” Lucas informed Klaus all too happily. “Now get a guy a glass of champagne already I tend to like a glass when flying to France.”

“The only thing I’ll ever get you is a coffin!” Klaus made himself clear.

“I like you!” Lucas replied with a flirtatious smile before standing up from his seat and beginning to search the private plane for some champagne leaving Klaus looking completely and utterly miserable at the idea of sharing a flight with him.

Lucas Lance had a thing for psychopathic men with a murder tendency it was why he found himself playing minion to Slade Wilson, it is why he aligned himself with The Joker and it was also why he became number one on Harley Quinn’s hit-list.

His recent dalliance with Kol Mikaelson had wet his appetite for more men who shared his tendency for mixing pleasure with pain but considering Kol hadn’t returned for round two he quickly began checking for other options and while on a private plane with Klaus Mikaelson he began to consider swapping brothers.

In the short time he had lived on this Earth he had heard a lot of rumors about Klaus like how he plotted to murder an orphan only to later use her as a human blood bag, how he daggered his siblings every time he disagreed with him, the villages he massacred to teach enemies, a girl who ran from him for five centuries and he hoped all rumors were true.

However Lucas was no fool and he knew the Mikaelson’s never bought his lie about who killed their sister and so he played his cards close to hand but that didn’t stop the Red Canary from having a little fun until murder was next on the agenda.

“Oh my god is this plane ride going to be completely and utterly silent because I’m seriously considering jumping out right now just to add some excitement into this journey.” Lucas complained to Klaus as he sat opposite the original hybrid on the private plane with a glass of champagne on hand as he watched Klaus roll his eyes at him. “I’ve heard a lot about you and so far, you’re truly disappointing me!”

“If you’ve heard anything about me then you should know what happens to the idiots like you who annoy me!” Klaus warned the Red Canary. “Of course, I rarely leave people alive to tell any stories.”

“See when you talk like that, I can see us being good friends and then you start moaning about that bloody family of yours and those chances just sliver away.” Lucas told the original hybrid as he took a drink from his champagne. “I do hate it when a monster is domesticated into a man.”

“Says the man who talks more about his sisters than himself!” Klaus snapped back as he sat forward to furiously face Lucas. “I get life got a little bit tough for you and this whole path is one long tantrum but you’re nothing more than a child throwing hissy fit after hissy fit whose too stupid to ever realize when you’re playing with beasts who could destroy you with one bite.”

“If you must know my life was never tough it was just boring until I did something about it.” Lucas replied as he finished his glass of champagne and moved forward from his seat to get even closer to the original. “I chose the path I chose to make something of myself sure some people tend to go more for corporate then killer but I am not most people and as for not talking about myself I can’t stop talking about myself you just seem to only listen to what you want to hear because you’d rather see me as an enemy than the man who could be your match.”

“Please,” Klaus scoffed. “You run around screaming heads of people while being chased by your sister when my sister even thought about betraying me, I had her daggered until she seen her wrongs. You are nowhere near a match for me little canary you’re out of your league!”

“Go ahead and underestimate me I’ve dealt with that my entire life but remember this every single member in your family who has squared up against me has been taken down. Laurel is only alive because I allow it because your family couldn’t take me just like you can’t take me!” Lucas reminded the original hybrid. “I’m a rare breed with powers you can’t even begin to understand and all you want me to do is scream for your siblings maybe your right about not being my match because Niklaus it is you who is beneath me.”

“I really can’t figure out if your completely and utterly insane or if you genuinely believe your own hype your sister only formed an alliance with my family because she knew you’d wind up dead otherwise because she clearly knows you better than you know yourself.” Klaus replied as the two continued to fight for dominance. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the only reason your even alive to this day is because your big sisters have been pampering and protecting their kid sibling their entire lives.”

“I would argue that it is me who protects them I could throw my dick out right here and start comparing it to you but I don’t have to prove I’m better than you in some toxic masculinity match to the death.” Lucas continued to argue while Klaus began to realize something he hadn’t considered until now. “I like this world it’s bloodier, brutal and far less plagued with morality and humanity so you can play the power card all you want because I’m staying put whether you get in my way or not.”

“When did you say the other canary show up in my city you know the one who slept with her sister’s man before and after faking her death just to get away from you both?” Klaus questioned the Red Canary while beginning to suspect the White Canary of murdering his older sister.

“I didn’t.” Lucas quickly bluffed, realizing Klaus’ suspicions were raised.

“You really didn’t murder my sister Freya.” Klaus said with a knowing smile on his face, concluding Sara Lance was Freya Mikaelson and Keelin Malraux’s killer. “But your sister sure as hell did.”

Sara Lance’s life was turned upside down the day the Gambit went down and her and Oliver Queen were presumed dead although in some ways those versions of them really did die birthing the White Canary and the Green Arrow in the process.

Sara and Oliver’s path to heroism didn’t start out that way as they washed up in a deserted island known as Lian Yu which proved to be anything but deserted as they were found by a top-secret organisation known as the league of assassins.

The two were trained as assassins by the group’s leader Ra’s al Ghul after the leader of the league of assassins was convinced by his daughters Nyssa and Talia took a liking to each of them Nyssa al Ghul falling for Sara Lance and Talia al Ghul becoming one of Oliver Queen’s many conquests.

However, neither Sara or Oliver quite took to the countless murders they committed due to being members of the league of assassins plotting together to flee the association knowing if they were ever caught they would be murdered by them but the want of freedom being too strong to not chance it.

Sara Lance and Oliver Queen knew returning to Star City as themselves would pose too many problems for those they cared for and alert the league to where they were but they wanted to see their loved ones once more leading to the births of the White Canary and the Green Arrow as they vowed to help the Black Canary protect their city only to return home to find no Black or Red Canary and no Laurel or Lucas leading them to Earth Blood.

Sara Lance wanted nothing more than to reconnect with her sister Laurel and fix their fractured relationship following her brief fling with Oliver as Oliver wanted nothing more than to seek forgiveness from his first love Laurel, reclaim her heart and make her understand that Sara and Oliver were nothing more than friends that his heart belonged to Laurel Lance and Laurel Lance only.

Their only problem was Laurel was keen to avoid them both at all costs even if it meant drinking with enemies who had once tried to kill her believing Rebekah Mikaelson to be better company than her sister or her first love.

“I’ve got to ask where the bloody hell this whole canary alter ego of yours came from? I understand the supposed need of masks in your world but why the hell choose to call yourself the Black Canary?” Rebekah wondered as her and Laurel remained in Rousseau's, Rebekah on yet another glass of red wine while Laurel was working on finishing yet another bottle of beer.

“I discovered my power after my sister died but it was my father’s death that made me try and save my city. Before he lost himself to the booze and the grief over Sara, he believed my home Star City could be saved and therefore in his memory I decided to take on that task.” Laurel admitted to Rebekah, touching the original female vampire by her honest words. “I was always closer to my father than my mother in fact that’s why I called myself the Black Canary mainly because of the connections between the obvious voice specialties and because my father once bought me the most beautiful Canary for my birthday.”

“Wow it’s refreshing to hear of a father who actually gave a damn about his children instead of chasing them and trying to murder them for a thousand years.” Rebekah replied to Laurel, sharing some of her past with the Black Canary.

“Your father really hunted his own children?” Laurel rhetorically asked her drinking companion with a genuine look of disgust on her face. “I hope you murdered the bastard!”

“No,” Rebekah laughed as she finished her glass of wine and placed the empty glass on the bar counter. “Although my brother Niklaus had the privilege of killing him twice.”

“It’s always the brothers that get to have all the fun while us sisters are always busy cleaning up their messes!” Laurel moaned after finishing her bottle of beer.

Rebekah Mikaelson liked Laurel Lance not so much from the first moment considering that consisted of her head literally exploding but she had liked Laurel since their first deal was made.

She felt a bond with her over being the put upon sister looking after her devious siblings and she began to feel sorry for what her family had in store for her brother that was until she received a text from her brother Klaus which so simply said Sara killed Freya, time to repay the favour dear sister and then she realized friendships will never get in the way of revenge.

Lucas Lance loved his siblings more than he ever fully realized until the moment Klaus Mikaelson learned Lucas’ sister Sara was responsible for Freya Mikaelson’s death and after Klaus’ private plane landed in a field within a small town in France he knew that he was too far away to stop any carnage the other members of the Mikaelson family may inflict on his sisters meaning he had to do something he hated doing more than anything which was showing emotion and hoping a brother to brother talk would convince the original hybrid to protect his sister.

“Let me make myself clear I’m not going ahead with reuniting you with your brother until I get your word that you won’t harm a hair on any of my sister’s heads.” Lucas demanded as Klaus and him reach the bottom of the private plane’s stairs and began walking through the field located within a small town in France.

“Your bloody sister murdered mine and you really think you can make demands of me!” Klaus shouted furiously at the Red Canary. “You will do what you need to do here, or I’ll kill you right where you stand!”

“She believed she was protecting me she’s not a bad person Klaus, not like me! I may not have killed Freya but if I didn’t attack her that day then my clueless sister never would have harmed the witch or her wolf girlfriend.” Lucas pleaded with the original hybrid. “Please don’t take her from us when we’ve only just taken her back!”

“My sister Freya put nothing above family, and I’ll put nothing above getting revenge for her now you can either come with me now or die by me now!” Klaus warned Lucas, making it clear he wouldn’t back down.

“She took a sibling from you so take one from her.” Lucas suggested in a desperate bid to spare the White Canary. “I’ll come with you scream the hollow out of your brother and then I’ll stay by your side as you kill me without putting up a fight.”

“You’d really die for your sister?” Klaus asked the Red Canary, shocked by his rare act of selflessness. “What makes you think we won’t kill you all?”

“Because unless you give me your word right here right now then you’ll never get Elijah back and I’ll personally take everyone else from you!” Lucas threatened the original hybrid.

“I do tend to torture my enemies instead of just killing them straight away, but your sisters would seek revenge and I’d have no choice but to kill them both anyway.” Klaus responded to him.

“Laurel would do anything to protect her family no matter how unworthy we are you keep Sara alive and she’ll be forced to stay the hell away from you both knowing it’s the only way to keep her safe.” Lucas explained to Klaus. “Besides think of how much joy you’d get from finally silencing the loudest canary.”

“Sibling for sibling?” Klaus said while beginning to consider Lucas’ proposal. “I suppose I am a reasonable immortal…very well we have a deal you for your sister but only after we both deal with Elijah.”

“Thank you!” Lucas responded with a sincere smile, believing in that moment he had just saved his sister. “You’ve just proven to me you really are above me!”

Kol Mikaelson’s relationships with his siblings were often strained he often though they’d all kill each other in the end but instead he lost his youngest sibling Henrik to werewolves a thousand years ago, then Finn twice at the hands of others and now Freya was the latest sibling to meet her demise.

Kol never got revenge for Henrik or Finn and he would’ve regretted it if his father didn’t kill most of the werewolves on Henrik’s behalf and if Finn didn’t already kill him once before. However, Freya was different despite their strains he knew Freya didn’t deserve to meet her end and it instantly turned him against Lucas as he believed the Red Canary was the one to blame only to recently find out from a text from Rebekah that it was Lucas’ sister Sara Lance who killed Freya.

As he sat on the edge of his bed in his bedroom at the compound he considered how things may have escalated instead of fumbled with him and Lucas for a second thinking of the carnage the two of them could’ve found themselves causing knowing he was about to get revenge and kill Sara Lance.

For a moment he considered leaving Rebekah or Klaus to exact the revenge but he knew Elijah would be home soon and figured it would help his brother to know revenge had been taken for their fallen sister and realized he had to act now and he had to be wise knowing the White Canary wouldn’t be an easy kill and knowing he didn’t know what to expect from Oliver Queen.

He knew Rebekah was keeping Laurel busy with drinks at Rousseau's and Lucas was in France with Klaus so there was no better time than now to kill the canary responsible for Freya Mikaelson and Keelin Malraux’s death as the original family of vampires would once again restart their war against the Black Canary and Red Canary by killing their sister.

Kol walked into the reception area of the hotel Lucas Lance had claimed, the same hotel he and Lucas had their first meeting as he vamp sped upstairs to where him and Lucas had their second meeting as he searched room after room in search of Sara Lance or even Oliver Queen as he prepared to kill the White Canary the only problem being she was already dead which he discovered after finally finding their room.

“Well this is definitely new.” A shocked Kol mumbled to himself as he looked around the blood-soaked hotel room to find Sara Lance laid lifeless on the floor with several arrows launched into her chest, realizing Rebekah couldn’t possibly be the culprit or Hayley considering she had taken Hope back to school leaving him with only one question. “Who the bloody hell killed the White Canary?”

Elijah Mikaelson’s life had taken a drastic change from the life he had lived for a thousand years thanks to the compulsion of upgraded original Marcel Gerard and the magic of New Orleans witch Vincent Griffiths.

He had always put family above all else which had cost him countless pain over the centuries but he no longer remembered that family or his sense of obligation towards them as he lived a quiet and blissful life in a small town in France as a bartender and pianist within a local bar and apart from his blood lust it was a rather simple life but after a few years he had managed to get all that under control.

He had learned who he was from a series of whispers all across the world about the original family as he discovered he was different to other vampires and upon discovery he headed to a quaint small town where he was fooled into believing he’d never be found as he longed to live out all of eternity as normal as any immortal could the need from that more than likely coming from Marcel’s compulsion.

However his time of being free from all the chaos and carnage of his family was nearing an end as his brother Klaus Mikaelson walked into the quaint and quiet pub with Lucas Lance by his side to find Elijah sat by the piano playing a beautiful and simplistic song with no words just music.

“You have an exquisite touch when it comes to playing the piano however I prefer my songs with some vocals and a little more drama.” Lucas complimented Elijah after walking over to him and causing him to move so he could sit down in front of the piano before he began playing an acoustic version of Nick Jonas’ hit single Jealous before beginning to sing the song as well, surprising the entire bar especially Klaus and Elijah with his deep husky like beautiful voice proving he really was a songbird.

Everyone continued to watch and listen to the Red Canary’s performance as both Elijah and Klaus found themselves surprised by Lucas Lance especially Klaus who couldn’t help but smile at the all singing canary realizing in that moment, he really was full of surprises.

“You’re very talented!” Elijah compliment Lucas after the Red Canary finished his performance.

“You have no idea Elijah.” Lucas whispered in the noble original’s ear before releasing a deafening canary cry straight through his ears causing the Mikaelson’s brother to instantly explode in a gust of blood spreading all over the piano as the customers and staff within the pub screamed in horror and shock.

“Was that really necessary?” Klaus asked while guarding the doorway before breaking a female’s neck after she tried to run past him to escape the terror only for him to then through her lifeless body to the ground.

“I figured at least we’d have a few people to kill while we wait for his head to regrow.” Lucas replied as he dropped Elijah’s body to the bar floor and stood up from his seat to look Klaus face to face while covered in the blood of the original noble.

“Actually, I was talking more about the performance.” Klaus teased the Red Canary with his signature devilish smirk spread across his face before he vamp sped around the pub again and again, each time stopping at a different human to snap their neck even biting into a few for some blood until the entire bar floor was filled with lifeless corpses as only he and Lucas remained standing.

“I guess this is a part where you kill me to spare my sister,” Lucas mentioned as he walked towards the original hybrid with a sense of sadness on his face. “It’s a shame we didn’t meet under different circumstances because I truly believe we could’ve had a lot of fun.”

“Maybe a few decades ago for sure but now I’m firmly family first.” Klaus stated as he placed both hands on Lucas’ neck. “If it makes you feel any better you may just be one of the rare kills I actually regret.”

“Just get it over with already.” Lucas pleaded as Klaus tightened his grip on the Red Canary’s neck to the point he was now strangling his enemy before he pulled him in towards him so their bodies were clashing against each other as Klaus passionately kissed Lucas much to Lucas surprise before Klaus let go of the canary. “What was that?”

“I’m not going to kill you Lucas Lance and I promised I wouldn’t kill your sister however I never said anything about my siblings doing the deed.” Klaus revealed with a wicked smile on his face. “Consider us both now even!”

Laurel Lance had spent most of her night in Rousseau’s trading sibling horror stories with Rebekah Mikaelson while continuing to drink away into the late hours before leaving her to head back to the hotel having avoiding her sister long enough but after walking up to the hotel’s front doors she was suddenly stopped by Kol Mikaelson who sped his way to the front door with a look of dread on his face a look which Laurel instantly realized didn’t mean anything good.

“Laurel you may not believe me here but someone else bet us to it.” Kol tried to convince the Black Canary of his innocence before breaking the news of her sister’s second death but before he could her phone rang which Laurel was all to eager to answer in avoidance of whatever tragedy Kol was about to inform her about.

“Hello.” Laurel eagerly answered the phone.

“Laurel it’s Sara…” Lucas said through the phone in between his own canary cries which both Kol and Laurel overheard. “She’s not dead!

“I just found her body she is dead.” Kol informed Laurel reluctantly. “But our family is innocent I promise.”

“No, she’s not dead.” Lucas shouted through the phone. “I tricked her into taking vampire blood! Laurel the alliance is off protect Sara.”

Laurel quickly hung up on Lucas before releasing a canary cry of her own towards Kol forcing him to be sent flying across the streets by the force of her powerful sonic screamed which made the entire street shake before Laurel vamp sped into the hotel eager to find her little sister and ensure her safety.

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accidentallyadrift · 5 years

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Credit Cards and Finance Things: The Good, The Bad, and the Honest Truth

First off, if you’re dealing with an annoying mound of credit card debt you’re not alone. I used to swear up and down that I would never get a credit card...until I got to college. It was just one, with a manageable limit through my bank, but then it was two and then a Victoria’s Secret card and a Best Buy account, Amazon, American Airlines. It got out of hand quickly and now at 23 I’m still dealing with the repercussions of irresponsible decisions I made at 19. But, in dealing with all of the BS that comes along with credit cards and paying them off, my friends started asking me for advice with handling their own. Which seemed...Bizarre? Now initially I would have told you under no circumstances should you ever get a credit card ever! In reality this isn’t really a practical thing, and here are a few reasons why.

If you have any plans to travel, rent hotel rooms or cars you’ll need a credit card. Most if not almost all rental car companies will not let you use a debit card when you’re renting a car. And if they do they increase the already ridiculous hold on your account and unless you have a major amount of liquid cash and you can stand to not access $400-$600 on top of your rental fees for the duration of your trip it’s a necessity. I’m often surprised at how many people don’t know this, the best man in my best friend’s wedding found himself stranded in New York City without a way to get to Vermont because the rental company they had booked with didn’t list that you had to pay by credit card and you had to be over 25. (Also age isn’t won’t always stop you from renting but it will almost always increase your rental price so check to see if there’s a young renter’s fee!)

Certain hotels follow similar policies, and at minimum it’s always a good idea to have some way to cover your ass if you find yourself in a bind while away from home. Lost debit cards, emergencies, accidents, or traveling for work where you’ll be waiting to receive reimbursement from you employer are all things you could encounter where not having one is going to make for a giant pain in the ass.

Different types of credit help you build a strong credit profile and no credit history can be just as frustrating to deal with as bad credit history. Credit Cards fall under the revolving debt category and help show that you can faithfully pay down or pay off a balance to a lender. They’re also how most people establish their length of credit history, which is a pretty large factor in your overall credit profile. Now, you don’t want just revolving accounts, installment accounts (usually car loans are where the average 20 something will pick this up) are even stronger for your credit profile and honestly look better than accounts with a revolving balance. Services like Credit Karma offer great break downs about all of this and how each type affects your credit scores. I highly recommend getting in the habit of checking your credit score on a regular basis if you don’t already. It’s free and it’s one of the first ways you can spot if something that doesn’t seem right shows up on your credit if you don’t pay for any kind of credit monitoring service. Having no credit history makes things like trying to rent an apartment or get a vehicle loan difficult. My current roommates previous roommate had no credit history or rental history and because that was viewed as a risk factor for the rental company their security deposit jumped to over $600 from $250. As for a vehicle loan you’re more than likely going to need a co-signer or co-borrower which can be difficult if you don’t have someone that is willing to put their name and credit on the line to help you.

Long story short. You need to build credit history some how, credit cards are kind of the path of least resistance to do so but I will say if you don’t think that you have the self control to keep your “emergency” card in your wallet for actual emergencies. I would suggest holding off.

Your bank and local bankers are excellent resources for financial questions and concerns! You can always go in and chat with a banker about your financial goals or to seek some advice. Debt, budgeting and finances are tricky and no one is expecting you to understand it all so use the resources around you and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

The best thing I can recommend is to be SMART about what you choose, stay away from store cards with attractive incentives. “But what about the rewards?! And the freebies!? It has to worth it” Absolutely not, this is just a great way to build up unnecessary excess debt, and trust me the perks don’t take the sting out of the 29% interest rate once you realize how much you’re paying back for your retail therapy.

Airline cards have the worst annual fees and ridiculously high interest rates, if you do want something travel specific that you can build miles up on the only one I suggest is through American Airlines specifically their Fly Now Pay Later program. This can only be used to purchase flights and has 6 months interest free financing on all of your flight purchases, you still earn miles and it’s tied to your frequent flyer number. Over all, this is a card I plan on keeping because it allows me to grab flights at any time when the prices bottom out because we all know that great deal won’t usually stick around till your next pay day. Just make sure to pay it off within that 6 month window and you’re good!

Really you want to look for a card that gives you cash back on your purchases, that you can either redeem for other things or you can roll back into your monthly payments. Personally, I have a Discover It card and although the interest rate is a little on the high side (which differs for everyone depending on your credit profile) it is nice that I can take whatever cash back rewards I have and roll them into my payment.

If you’re like me and are dealing with multiple accounts and trying to tackle getting them all paid off. USE GOOGLE CALENDAR. I used to end up with late fees because I would space a payment and not realize it till the next morning when that stupid late fee had already been posted to my account. I wanted desperately to be an organized planner girl that could keep everything written down but it just doesn’t work for me, and I have to remember to write them all in every month and to be honest ain’t nobody got time for that. My google cal took me a bit to set up but the nice thing is, once it’s up you can set it to just auto repeat every single month until the end of time if you would like. Every single one of my accounts is listed on its due date, they start out green and when I’ve made the payment I go in and switch them to red for that month. If an account is paid off, I switch it to orange and just tell it to change all the following events to match. Easy, simple, and no late fees. And since I get paid bi-weekly it really helps with pay mapping and knowing what I need to set aside to make sure everything is covered. 12/10 for the very visual planning type! Also, I know most banks have a Bill payer feature, I’ve just found that this is what works best for me. And if you’re like me and paying off multiple accounts tackle them one at a time! Make minimums on all of them except one, when that’s paid off move on to the next one. Everything is still getting paid but you’ll actually start to see productive results sooner. (This one came straight from my banker and let me tell ya it works!) Start with the smallest one and work your way up to the highest ones.

Going Back to Pay Mapping, this is a great tool to tackle paying down debt and keeping your monthly budget on track. This allows you to sit down and see when you have money coming in and when money needs to in turn go back out to cover your bills and where you’ll need a little extra or where you’ll have some cash leftover. I usually pay map for a month out from wherever I’m doing my budget. Starting with my current account balance, adding in my upcoming paycheck, deducting all of the payments that will be made in that pay period until my next check and then adding that next check in and repeating the cycle. So I can see if one week I’m going to come up a little short then I need to keep some of my over flow cash from a previous week in order to make sure I don’t over draft my account. It seems simple, and you would think that it’s just basic knowledge...but again I’ve heard so many times “If I would have realized that I wouldn’t of done _____ last week!” The best thing you can do for your financial mind set is to alway be thinking forward, don’t let that extra 20 bucks burn a hole in your pocket if you haven’t checked to see if it really is extra. Better yet, just move it to your savings account (which you should also be dumping at least $10 in to whenever you can...I’m still trying to get better about this one myself).

And if you’re on top of it and pay your card off every month! Pay it off before the due date and then a revolving balance will never hit your credit report. Having accounts that are consistently paid off and don’t carry a revolving balance is the ideal way you want to deal with having credit cards. It looks great on your credit report that you pay faithfully, your usage stays low, and your still establishing length of credit history.

Wow okay this got much longer than I expected it to be but I feel like these are like the financial FAQs I usually get so now maybe I can just send it on as a master post the next time someone asks? But if any of this is unclear or you have other questions I’ll do my best to answer them! Again, by no means am I an expert this is simply a collection of things I’ve figured out through trial and lots of error. So if anything learn from my mistakes lol and if there’s anything you would like to add feel free! I’m always looking to learn more!

Also, remember it’s not forever. It may be stressful and not very fun right now but if you keep working at it and you learn from it and you make sure you don’t end up there again. I know it can be incredibly overwhelming and it sucks when you have to make the choice to stay in and be responsible when all you want to do is go out and have fun. But, it’ll feel so much nicer when you know you’re doing it all cash and you don’t have to worry about paying for your fun at the end of the month. You got this! Now go color code your calendar and get that shit paid off!

#millenials #adulting #credit cards #debt #debt stress #student problems #finances #budgeting

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chasholidays · 6 years

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you're so awesome for doing this! one of the highlights of my holiday season. i would love a bellarke izombie au! thanks so much

“You know, I knew you were a stubborn asshole, but this is a lot even for you.”

Bellamy doesn’t look at her, too busy attempting to navigate through traffic to turn his attention away from the road. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t let me eat the brain.”

It’s still a little disconcerting to be able to just say it, to have her secret out in the open, or at least open to Bellamy. After years of hiding and lying, justifying erratic behavior and inexplicable hunches, she can just say what she’s doing and why, and he’ll believe her. And, even more miraculously, he’s accepted it, doesn’t seem to have let it change his opinion of her.

Except this one thing.

“It’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” she asks, incredulous.

“It’s cheating,” he grumbles.

“Cheating.”

“Look, it’s not like I don’t–appreciate it,” he says, delicate. “You’re a great resource. You do amazing work. But it’s not police work.”

“Who cares? You didn’t care when you thought I was a psychic–”

“I never thought you were a psychic,” he says. “Come on, Clarke. I knew that was bullshit. I knew there was another explanation, I figured it was like Psych or something. You were just really observant or something.”

“And you let that go, but now that you know I’m–”

“It’s like using magic.”

“Which you’d do, if you had it. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t.”

He sighs, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, this is hard for me, okay? Not–the zombie stuff, I’m dealing with. I get that. But I already felt like relying on you made me a shitty cop, and now it’s like finding out my lab partner did so well on homework because she had a copy of the answer key.”

“And that’s bad,” she says, mostly to fuck with him.

He takes his eyes off the road for a second to glare at her. “I don’t like cheating.”

“Okay, but–there’s no teacher. We’re catching murders, not doing assignments. Cheating doesn’t really apply. That’s not how it works. If it helps you do your job better–”

“Does it?” he asks, and from his tone, this is the real issue. The heart of the matter. “I’m not doing my job better. You are.”

“You’re doing it. I get–flashes. I don’t know everything. And even if I did, I don’t know how to make a conviction stick. I ate someone’s brain and gained their memories isn’t admissible evidence in court.”

“I just want to solve a case without–”

“Without me.”

He pulls into a parking spot and turns off the car, gives her a significant look. “If I wanted to do it without you, you wouldn’t be here. I think we’re a good team, but–it’s hard to be sure when you’ve been lying to me on every case.” She winces, and he sighs. “I get why, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“And I guess I get why it bothers you. But–you’re a great detective, Bellamy. Part of being a great detective is using all your resources.”

“Like my zombie partner who can see victims’ memories by eating their brains, yeah. I want to do this one right.”

“You’re such a Hufflepuff,” she teases.

“Shut up.”

“I’m just being thematic.”

“Don’t remind me.” He lets out a breath. “You ready?”

“Ready.”

Aside from her total lack of background memories from the victim, Clarke is excited for the job. If anyone had asked three years ago, she would have said she’d never be excited about investigating a murder, but people really can get used to anything. She has a good job that keeps her busy and satisfied, as well as providing her with a difficult-to-obtain and vital source of sustenance, all her friends are now aware of and accept her status as the undead, and she’s doing pretty well.

Besides, she’s bringing murderers to justice with one of her best friends, and this weekend they’re doing it at a Harry Potter convention. Who wouldn’t be excited about that?

Bellamy gets their bags out of the trunk with a sigh, which basically answers that question.

“I know you like Harry Potter, don’t pretend you don’t.”

“I like playing Hearthstone after work, that doesn’t mean I want to go to a tournament. Hardcore fans are scary. And it’s not just a Harry Potterconvention,” he adds. “That’s the fandom we’re representing, but there’s a lot more.”

“I know.” She grins. “And I’ll protect you. That’s the point of our cover, right? I’m the fan, you’re my long-suffering boyfriend.”

“That’s the plan, yeah.” He shoulders his bag and then hers before she can object. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Even without her skipping out on the brains, Clarke thinks this case would have felt like a test. It’s their first major case since Bellamy found out about her, and one where it’s just the two of them, away from home. They’re sharing a hotel room too, and that means Bellamy is going to have firsthand interaction with, well, her. For all they spend time together, he’s been spared the day-to-day realities of being a zombie. They’re work friends, and this isn’t them becoming friend friends, but it is a new level of intimacy.

And Clarke’s not opposed to an increase in intimacy. It’s just that she knows she’s not exactly easy to live with these days.

“You have to eat brains?” She can’t read his tone, but if he’s disgusted, he shows no sign of it. He might even be curious.

“Zombie. It won’t interfere with the case, but I don’t want to go too long without eating and risk losing control.”

He nods. “Yeah, I’d appreciate if you didn’t try to eat me.” He watches her for a second, and then adds, “So, what personality are you going to get this time?”

“Oh, no. I shouldn’t get one from this.”

“You shouldn’t?”

“Monty and I did some experiments, when I first–when it happened. Just figuring out how the memories showed up, how long the personality changes lasted, stuff like that. This brain has been completely frozen and then thawed, so it won’t have any effect on me. It’s purely nutritional.”

“Huh.” He drums his fingers on the table. “How did you decide to tell Monty?”

She smiles a little. “I didn’t. He figured it out, and he’s Monty, so he’s basically prepared for an eventual zombie apocalypse. At first I’m pretty sure he was expecting me to turn on him any day, but he was hoping if I did it would give him good data on how to fight the outbreak.”

“And he’s working on a cure, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want that?”

She stares. “Are you kidding? Of course I do.”

“Just checking. I didn’t want to–” He runs his hand through his hair. “It sounds shitty to me, but I figured maybe there were pros that outweighed the cons or something. I didn’t want to say I hoped he found one and then find out that you like being a zombie.”

“You don’t have to worry so much about saying something wrong,” she says, gentle. “I get that it’s fucked up. If you need to freak out.”

“It’s freaky, yeah. But I figure you’ve been a zombie the whole time I’ve known you, so–” He shrugs. “You’re the same person I’ve worked with for years. Except when you’re not.”

“Except when I’m not?”

He gestures to the tupperware she’s eating from, half a smile on his lips. “The wild mood swings.”

“I figured if you really thought I was a psychic, you’d write it off as eccentricity. It’s not my fault you don’t believe in psychics.”

“Good way to get the attention off the zombie thing.” He clucks his tongue. “Okay, I’m going to go grab some food for myself. I assume you’re set.”

“Yeah. But if you want company, I’ll come with you.”

His smile is warm, the kind she doesn’t get from him very often. Maybe, now that everything is out in the open, she’ll get more. “Yeah, company sounds nice.”

“Okay,” she says the next morning. They have an hour before the con opens, which means plenty of time to come up with a plan. “So, we know the victim was very involved in–what fandom again?”

“She’s a cosplayer,” he says. “So she’s a part of that community more than a single fandom. A lot of her friends and associates are here, and she was involved in founding and planning the con. I’ve already talked to her family and friends, but we’ve been having trouble finding her online contacts. Or connecting their online and offline identities, I guess. So we’re going to be asking about Tenshi, not about Angela.”

“Did you ask Monty about this one? If anyone knows how the internet works–”

“If this doesn’t work we will. But she’s pretty well known, and she was posting on social media about being here. So if you ask about it, it’s not going to be suspicious.”

“So basically she’s my favorite cosplayer and I want to find out about her.”

“Yeah. And I’ve got a list of other cosplayers we’re looking at. Honestly, I’m just expecting a lot of buzz about her not being here, so we should pay attention and see what we can find out. And I’m hoping that’s going to let us figure out which of the other attendees are her friends and which ones we should be talking to formally.”

“You know what else would let us figure that out?”

“Good, old-fashioned detective work,” he says, firm, and she smiles.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

On the one hand, it is hard to ignore how much easier this would be if Bellamy wasn’t being stubborn about the whole brain-eating thing. On the other, Clarke will admit that real detective work really isn’t so bad. Not that they don’t do real detective work the rest of the time, but it is a different vibe than their usual. It hadn’t occurred to her that Bellamy would feel like he wasn’t really working, when he took advantage of her information, but it’s not a surprise either, not now that she’s thinking about it. He is that kind of stubborn.

Pretending to be his girlfriend isn’t so bad either. She’s not convinced it’s necessary, or that it would draw attention if she and Bellamy were just two people enjoying the con together. But she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying it, holding his hand and leaning in close to talk. It’s stupid too, of course, kind of unspeakably so, because she can’t date anyone right now, not with the whole zombie issue, and she’s been trying hard to ignore how much she likes him.

But she really, really does. And now he knows everything, and he still seems to like her as much as he ever did. She’d always thought his finding out would lose her a job and a valued relationship, and knowing she still has both, that he’s still happy to be around her and values her, is a little overwhelming.

It’s probably good she doesn’t have to deal with anyone else’s brain on top of all that. It’s a busy enough weekend as it is.

Still, the case isn’t too bad, as they go. Bellamy has done enough legwork that he figures out the major players quickly, and between the two of them they put together a list of suspects and come up with a pretty decent timeline of what would have happened. They even get to enjoy the con some, after they arrest their suspect.

“I feel like I missed out on eating this one,” she muses, in the hotel room, and his eyebrows shoot up.

“What?”

“I could have made us costumes! It would have been cute. You’d make a great James Potter.”

“Thanks, I think.” He pauses, watching her. “It’s mostly just–presentation, right?”

“Presentation?”

“When you eat someone. It doesn’t change that much of what you do, just speech patterns and hobbies, basically. You don’t become another person.”

“No, not really. Sometimes I get–impulses, I guess? Stuff I wouldn’t want to do if I was just myself. But, yeah, it’s more like hobbies. It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t usually–I’m still myself, but different aspects get emphasized.”

“I guess that makes sense.” He clears his throat. “That was, uh–that was the part that gave me the most trouble. Not that the whole zombie thing wasn’t–it was all a lot to take in. But I felt like I’d never actually met you.”

“Really?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “How was I supposed to know which parts were you?”

“That’s why you wanted to make sure the stuff I was eating this weekend wouldn’t affect me.”

“I wanted to make sure I knew the real you, yeah.”

“And?”

“And you’re how I hoped you’d be. Except for the zombie thing,” he adds, careful.

“Not a zombie fan?”

“It complicates this plan I had to ask you out, yeah.”

If not for that complication, she’d kiss him. As it is, she just smiles. “It’s a little complicated, yeah. But–this is me, if you want to try to figure it out.”

He smiles back, takes her hand to give it a quick squeeze. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

#beerandcheese-princess

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mini-bab · 6 years

Text

lay me to waste

“Now I gotta add you to my list of people to try and forget about Now I gotta add yours to my list of faces to try and not think about Now I gotta tell 'em I don’t care and hope that nobody might work it out It was obviously an illusion 'cause there’s never been so much I’ve been wrong about And I don’t want to spend all my days thinking of the one I can’t live without So I’m gonna have to add you to my list of people to try and forget about”

- Tame Impala, List of People (To Try and Forget About)

“You’re better off single.” Her friend laughed, Rachel rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink.

“Why, because you’re trying to fuck?” She asked teasingly, a smirk on her lips. “But I’m happy.”

“You’re happy? Who are you fooling? You barely even see your fiance or whatever the fuck he is. Are you even together?” He asked, her sighing.

“I mean, I’m still wearing my ring. So yes. I’m just trying to be faithful and I’m trying to straighten my shit out. I mean, I’m a mess. I’ve been a mess for years. Literally since freshman year of high school when I was getting baked in someone’s basement.” She laughed, looking down into her drink. “I mean, I’m just... I’m trying to have fun and enjoy myself and he just always makes me feel like shit about it. I know he cares about me but I want to have fun and just... take advantage of the fame while I have it.”

“You’re this famous, you’re not gonna suddenly drop off of the face of the earth. If anything, you’ll just be some lifestyle icon or some shit after a while. Maybe you’ll make your own label or something one day. I don’t know. I think that you need to live your life the way you want to live it. Fuck anyone who is trying to hold you back, you know?” He said, drinking his beer.

“Yeah. I don’t know. I want Finn, but-”

“Is his dick that good?” He laughed.

“I mean, I love the guy. And the sex is good.”

“Well then, fuck. Keep your man, girl. Just don’t get hung up on him. Concentrate on yourself.”

-/-

Rachel knew that her label was ruining everything the second they started controlling half of what she wanted to do. Once she felt like she was losing control of her own self, she knew she had to leave. The second that she was out of the tour and out of the contract, she knew she had to get out. She used whatever out she could just so she could get out of the craziness of everything. It was still weird to be home and done with the tour and to not be home, but she had even told Finn very briefly that she wasn’t finished and she needed more time -- she just needed a chance to get music out there that she produced herself and that showed exactly how she felt about the shitty situation she was in. She hated that she had done all of the shit she did, but she was just trying to get ahead in her career. She didn’t want to completely lose everyone, but she knew it was lonely at the top. She knew that this was what would happen, but she just really wished it didn’t.

Being on her own, she was able to just have her own small concerts at venues and while it was incredibly weird, she felt like she needed to get all of her emotions out. She needed to show her regret and all of her troubles and just get it out there so she wasn’t holding it in anymore. She took a few of her band members and just wrote and didn’t even record -- just set up days for concerts so they still were making money. Just her name alone got her a pretty big chunk of change even if she wasn’t working for a label. Plus, she was still working for tons of brands, and she did still have more than enough income than she knew what to do with. Plus, her band was more than willing to accommodate to whatever style of music she wanted to do or whatever covers, which she was grateful for.

She missed Taylor and Jeremy and how close they all were, but she also knew that people didn’t stick around forever. She just hoped the one person that would stick around would be Finn. But now that they were on their break, even that seemed unrealistic now. She wanted him more than anything, but she just didn’t want him constantly feeling bad for her.

Tonight, as Rachel sat in a green room at a venue, she brushed through her hair, fixing her makeup slightly in the mirror. Lately, she had gotten into the bad habit of getting high before her performances, and this one was no different. It was just so much easier to get hyped for the concert and she was just able to get her mind off of everything. Rachel held onto the frame of the door as she stumbled slightly out of the green room, her seeing someone from backstage immediately move over to her to start to hook her up with equipment.

“You have a forty minute set. You have the set list set up for you next to the microphone. There’s two water bottles, but if you need more you can let us know by signaling off stage.” The worker said, leading her towards the stage. She was barely listening, but she couldn’t help it. She just felt so out of it in the best way and she loved the feeling.

(Hi-Lo & Dream - aka the inspo for this entire stage of her fucked up life HAHA)

By the time she was finished with her last song, she barely could remember everything else she had done during the entire concert. When she walked back to the green room, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Ed standing against the wall, looking at her sadly.

“Ed? What are you- fuck. What are you doing here?”

“I came to see your show, I got tickets. But I’m coming to take you to my house.” He said, sighing as she shut the door, taking off her jacket and stumbling slightly to a chair in the room.

“What? I- I have a hotel room in town.”

“When you have an apartment with your fiance?”

“I can’t go home yet.” She said softly, looking into his eyes, hers hazy. Ed sighed before walking over to her. “Come on, you’re coming with me. I’m not letting you go back there.” He said, packing up her things in the room before slinging the duffel bag over his shoulder and looking to her. He extended his hand for her, her reaching out tiredly to take it. Ed pulled her into a standing position so he could pull her into his side, her leaning her weight against him for a moment. When they went out the back the way they were directed, people screamed when they saw the two of them together, Rachel keeping herself looking somewhat normal. Once he had her in the car he took, she sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment.

“When did you write that song? The last one?” He asked, starting to drive through the city.

“Last week.” She said, looking miserable.

“Fuck. You may be a musical genius, but you’re a fucking mess, Rachel. You need help.”

“You sound like Finn,” She groaned, squirming in the passenger side. “I just... I wanted to have fun.

“What have you not done? I feel like you’ve done everything under the sun, Rachel.”

She paused, trying to think. “Not heroin. Josh... he- fuck. He died from that. I’m too scared. I tripped yesterday and I was finally coming down and I needed to just... not feel like shit. And I’ve been getting high before performances. I just-”

“I don’t need your excuses, Rachel. You’re not leaving my house until you’re sober.”

“Ed, I’m gonna be fine. Just let me go to my hotel. I already paid for it.”

He looked over at her for a moment, shaking his head. “No. I’ll go check you out tomorrow from the hotel. Or call them up or something. I’m not letting you leave my place. Rachel, you realize Finn’s probably a fucking mess, right? He’s not stupid, he can probably get any details on you that he wanted.” He sighed, pulling into his community before driving down his street and towards his house. Once he pulled up tot he house and helped her out, they were both silent until they got inside.

“You don’t need to do this,” She said quietly, holding onto his wall slightly. “I can just do this on my own.”

“No, you can’t. And I already know I’m going to hear you crying about Finn tomorrow. Just sleep off whatever you’re on so we can talk normally tomorrow and we’ll get you cleaned up tomorrow and stuff,” He said, guiding her to the guest bedroom that was near his bedroom. He pulled down the blankets and guided her into the bed, her sighing as soon as she hit the sheets. “You feel okay? You’re not gonna throw up in the bed or anything?”

“N-no. I’m okay.” She mumbled, holding onto the pillow. “I’ll talk to you in the morning. I can’t right now. Can you text Finn that I love him?” She said into the pillow, Ed sighing.

“Yeah, Rachel. Sure. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” He said, pulling the covers over her and looking at her.

“Mhm.”

When Rachel woke up in the morning and went down the steps, she rubbed her eyes and smiled gently when she saw Ed grabbing cereal and some fruit.

“Oh, hey. Uh, you sleep okay?” He asked, her nodding.

“Yeah. Thanks. I feel a lot better.” She whispered, moving to sit at his breakfast bar. “Do you have any coffee?”

“Already on it.” Ed reached to hand her a cup, Rachel smiling gently in response.

“Thanks. So, I guess you want to talk now right?”

“Kind of. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I mean, Rachel, you realize you need to stop, right? You’re a mess. And people can tell. I mean, there was that picture of you and you could tell you were getting high. I mean, I’m all for having fun every once in a while, but you realize you’re killing yourself right?” He rambled, her looking down into her coffee cup.

“I don’t just... ‘have fun,’ Ed. I take everything to the extreme. I can’t handle myself. And I want to be a good wife and shit but I’m afraid I’m just going to be a huge fuck up. And I don’t want to make Finn unhappy.”

Ed shrugged, drinking his coffee. “Well, you’re making him pretty unhappy right now. I mean, when was the last time you even seriously talked to him? Touched him? Seen his actual face? I mean, come on, Rachel. You’re being insane. You just need to figure all your shit out. And I’m all for holding you hostage here until you do, but you need to go back to Finn. I’ll take you there personally. But he’s the only one who knows you better than anyone else and will actually help you more than any of us can.”

Rachel knew he was right. She needed to get her shit together, but she just didn’t know how to start. Obviously, she needed to get clean and she knew she’d be able to -- drugs were never what alcohol was to her, but she just had been so dependent on both this entire tour.

“I can’t go right now. I need a few more days. To just... not touch anything . To go to him and make sure that I’m really actually sober. I just need a little bit.” She said softly, running her finger along her coffee cup.

“That’s fine. I’ll drop you off. I just need to make sure you figure this out. I know you guys need each other. You guys are just... so stupid sometimes. Everyone can see you guys are being stupid except for the two of you.”

“That’s how it usually works, isn’t it?” She asked, smiling sadly.

“Yeah. But we’re gonna figure it out. Alright?”

“Okay.”

#lay me to waste #self para

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lumos-star684 · 7 years

Note

All of them. Just to be a pain

Can’t believe I’m about to answer these but its either this or a marketing assignment so here goes…

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

blank revision cards and raffle tickets

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

white with sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

yes

6: do you keep plants?

non but i would like to (in fact, I’m going to buy one next week)

7: do you name your plants?

nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

none im not very creative :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yep

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side or stomach usually

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

hmmm can’t think of this (wait you should know this any idea?)

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Pluto

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

my little niece started talking to me about flying pigs

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

like the friends apartment with loads of little quirky shit

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Venus is the only planet that spins backwards relative to the other planets.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

good ole simple pasta with tomato sauce and cheese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

dark purple

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i have no stories omg

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

non

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

don’t have one in particular, depends on the person really

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

there was my little karrimor rucksack that i had all throughout (most of ) secondary school and it broke on the day before the last day of Year 11 but still holds a special place in my heart

22: are you a morning person?

nooooooooo (unless its morning where you’ve been up all night)

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

make tea and watch tv

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

nope (i don’t have a lot of secrets though??)

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

a hotel kitchen (by accident i should add)

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

at the moment, my black boots

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

mint?? idek

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

there’s this one little shit that always sends me asks on tumblr

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about sock

socks, my friend, are a fucking brilliant invention. i have a bit of love-hate relationship with socks because i feel like they confine your feet (i mean why would you want to lock your feet into little pockets of cloth?) but on the other hand THEY’RE SO CUTE. little socks with funky patterns and little animals and the super soft house socks as well. having said that, all my socks are black with either pink purple or blue on the foot and heel parts. SO, my favourite thing to do is always wear mismatched socks - but nobody can tell because the main part of the sock is black. It’s like a little secret I can wear all day knowing that my socks are not the same even though it looks like they are.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

we’d just left a club in prague and headed over to burger king. we sat down and then out of nowhere in the middle of prague this group of gujarati kids came and sat down next to us. I had a conversation with them and forgot that the other girls hadn’t the foggiest idea what the fuck we were talking about. we were leaving and then one of them asked me to marry him……

33: what’s your fave pastry?

er…something with chocolate? or apples

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

there was this little black dog that used to be my sister’s, i can’t remember what i used to call him but I’ve still got him somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I absolutely love them but can never bring myself to use them (I eventually did and my Latin notes are so fucking pretty)

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Bahamas

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy but organised messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

when people walk slowly in the middle of the street and when people think they’re better than you

39: what color do you wear the most?

black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i have a little harry potter necklace i got for my 16th which i wear almost every day

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

me before you

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

don’t like coffee shops much

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

nobody

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

last sunday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

no lol they’re shit

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

all puns are good puns

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

ermm dunnoo

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

can’t remember exactly what my biggest fear was, but it’s not the same as today (although probably quite similar)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

nope don’t own any

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

empty glue sticks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

you - la vie en rose

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

LOOL some of the trump and theresa may ones have been pretty good

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no but they’re all on my list to watch

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

probably a stranger on the train

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

moved out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people tagging in posts and memes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

currently ill in bed so i didn’t even move -_-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

keef is the wine mom and i reckon you will be the vodka aunt :)

59: what’s your favorite myth?

there was this one where zeus was cheating on hera and when he got caught he turned the woman into a cow

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes! usually just snippets i read on the internet though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

given is what we gave keef and received…i don’t think ive ever received a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

sometimes yes, either the innocent strawberry and banana smoothie or the orange and passionfruit tropicana

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

music yes, it all has to be in particular playlists and books no, they’re just stacked randomly

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

bright blueee

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

you :( and a couple of people from school actually

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

tiny little black red and purple flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

a bit eh actually, but also nice if i’m inside and in bed

68: what’s winter like where you live?

not great, just a bit grim and rainy and no snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopolyyyy

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

breakfast tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

1000000% yes

73: what are some of your worst habits?

picking at the skin around my fingers and overthinking (the standard tbh)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

newcastle born and bred sarcastic little shit who can be a bit annoying but also has a heart of gold

75: tell us about your pets!

MY LITTLE BABYYYYY Goghi is my cat - black with little white paws, a white stripe down her front and a white moustache. Softest fucking fur EVER. She has one funny eye, hates people and sleeps all day. I also have about twenty fish in the pond and two little ones in a tank inside. Varying sizes and no names

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

a marketing assignment, the laundry and cleaning my room

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

noooo idea..

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

fanclub. they’re one in a minion those things

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

little things like when people come and see me i cant think of a particular example

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige and nope we just painted the whole house that colour

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

*can’t remember what anyone’s eyes look like*

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was a pretty good student

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

the airborne toxic event and green day’s american idiot

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yesss but not sure yet!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

nope

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have never heard of concept albums (upon googling it appears i do like some of them, yes)

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

3 idiots, dead poets society and kuch kuch hota hai amongst others

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

non

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Londonnn - its just….everything (but also expensive)

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and hopefully a couple of other city breaks

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

hair down if its straight or pony tail if its curly

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my little cousin’s birthday was yesterday

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in be all weekend drink tea and eat soup

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate, all the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTJ/INTP, gemini and ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

ncs? loved it but also hated it because i don’t like climbing

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Current favourites: Sometime Around Midnight, Vampire Smile and Wasn’t Expecting That

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Future - five years ago i was there and twas a bit shite

oh my god you don’t know how long those took me YOU BETTER READ THEM ALL @findinganiqa XXX

#aniqaunderground #messages #bloody hell this is long #this took me all week

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aboysbestfriendishismum · 7 years

Text

Chapter 44 - The date, the non-date and the no date

In the previous chapter: Melanie gets mad at Mike in front of all his friends because he didn’t tell her Meg was his ex girlfriend, Meg gets mad too and the two girls end up joining forces against him. Violet tries to have her way with Eddie once again and he finally tells her that the girl who stole his heart is Angie. Violet’s reaction is pretty weird: she leaves the club laughing histerically. In the meantime, the Alice in Chains guys, later joined by Mike McCready too, are trying to console and cheer up Jerry, who’s still shaken for his poor figure with Angie’s dad. His friends try to convince him Ray has no idea who he really is anyway and Angie’ll never tell her dad about him, and he apparently calms down, at least until he remembers telling Ray about intimate details of his sexual life with his ex girlfriend. Later that night, the gang plus Ray go to a bonfire party on the beach. Ray smokes weed with his daughter. We find out Ray’s wife is not Angie’s biological mother. Eddie’s with Angie the whole time and looks kinda jealous when she, pretty drunk, has a funny exchange with Mark Arm.

***

“Have you heard anything from Mike by any chance?” my roomie asks distractedly after she kindly said goodbye to a customer at the minimart.

“No, thank god” I grumble, my mouth full of chocolate rolls, my breakfast, I’ve just bought here. Since Angie came up with the idea of excercising, dieting and living a healthy life, sweet food never entered our house again. As if my life couldn’t be worse.

“Well, you’ll have to talk to him sooner or later. I mean, I think you should”

“What? Really? I had no idea this was your opinion. Oh wait, maybe I should have known, since it’s just the 80th time you share it with me”

She’s been going on with this for days, since the night when shit happened between Mike, Mel and I. Of course, she does it her way, trying not to get noticed too much, a little question here, a remark there… after all, I am the one who noses around other people’s life, not her!

“If I share my opinion, it means that I think it’s good”

“It may be good for you, but not for me. And nobody asked you anyway” I add with a smile, before eating what’s left of the second chocolate roll in one single bite.

“Are you not exactly subtly trying to tell me I’m being intrusive?”

“Noooo, not at all! And you’d never be, how could you? I mean, you’re the one who hates when other people pry into her life… nah!”

“My situation is completely different”

“Really? And why?” I’m really curious to hear her excuse.

“Because I’m not telling you to forgive Mike or get back with him”

“Also because if you did, you should be hospitalized in a mental institution or something”

“I’m just suggesting you two meet and do some straight talk once and for all, then you’ll decide” she shrugs as she explains and keeps drawing her little squares on the notepad placed on the counter right in front of her.

“Decide what? How to kill him? Ok, I might accept some advice about the weapon choice if you insist”

“Meg”

“Listen, Angie, I’ve got nothing to tell him and don’t wanna listen to what he has to say, the situation is clear to me”

“Well, good for you that you’ve got your mind made up already, I think I haven’t fully understood Mike yet, maybe just a little”

“I have and I’ll gladly explain Mike to you. At the beginning I was confused too, I thought he was just some guy who didn’t really know what he wanted from his life, someone who creates trouble by simply moving, but basically not a bad person; just someone who hurts you by mistake, unwillingly, only because he does’t know how to avoid it. Like a kitty who hasn’t learnt how to retract its claws yet and scratches you when actually all he wants to do is play with you” I explain and Angie puts her pen down, folds her arms over the counter and starts smiling at me like I think I’ve never seen her before since I met her. She’s almost scary.

“Oh really?”

“Yes. And why the fuck are you smiling like that?”

“You’ve just compared Mike to a kitten”

“A kitten who claws the living hell out of your face”

“A cute and tender kitty cat”

“A fucking scruffy cat carelessly bleeding you dry”

“Still a cute kitten”

“No, I thought he was… a puppy… now I realized he does it on purpose. He really does have fun playing and messing with other people’s feelings, as a sadistic asshole”

“Hahaha who?? Mike?”

“Sure. And there’s nothing to laugh about. Don’t let that sweet and innocent look fool you, his soul is pitch black as the night”

“Sweet uh?” she asks wiggling her eyebrows.

“Fuck you, Angie”

“Meg, I think you’re overreacting”

“Overreacting? Next time you have problems with a guy, I’m gonna laugh at your face as you’re doing with me and tell you not to overreact” I grumpily retort, balling up the wrapper of the chocolate roll and throwing it towards Angie’s face. But she catches it. These trainings with Fitness Wizard Henry Rollins must have improved her reflexes too.

“I’m not laughing at you, it’s just that Mike doesn’t really seem this heartless evil mastermind, that’s all. I’m more for the unwilling confused kitten hypothesis” she answers and throws the wrapping into the bin behind her back.

“At any rate, the kitten’s almost 25 years old, it’s about time to wake up a little”

“I think there were some awakening signals… it’s just about being able to understand them” she remarks, clearly implying something I’m surely about to find out.

“And I didn’t understand them?”

“It’s more that you interpreted them the wrong way”

“Can you elaborate, please?”

“Do you really think Mike didn’t tell Melanie about you because you’re not important to him?”

“If not for that, why then?”

“Well, maybe just because you are important to him, because deep inside he still has feelings for you and didn’t want his girlfriend to mess up your friendship, which in the end was all he had left of you”

“What you say doesn’t make sense from the beginning: he has feelings for me, but he has another girlfriend? Shouldn’t he be with me then? Why isn’t he with me?”

“Ehm… maybe because you told him to fuck off the infamous night of the show at the Off Ramp?”

“Technically yes. But he wasn’t with me even before that, he didn’t want to commit, so the reason is something else”

“Probably he doesn’t want to commit because is insecure, he’s afraid of making a mess of it and, given what happened lately, I’d say it’s a rather well-founded fear. And then… haven’t you ever thought that maybe he feels you’re out of his league?”

“Out of… what the fuck are you talking about?” McCready with a complex?! That’s new!

“Well, you know, you’re beautiful, funny, smart and strong, you know lots of people and basically every guy has a crush on you and would sell one of their kidneys to go out with you”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“Hahaha no, I just wanted to say that, you know, sometimes men can suffer from inferiority complex, with or without a reason. And not just men. It’s a little like me and Jerry… ok, that was a different story, but I’m not talking about the sad ending, I refer to the beginning, before all the shit: when I first met him I thought he was as beautiful as a Greek god and I’d have never remotely dreamt about me and him being together because, I mean, look at me”

“And you were stupid and I always told you”

There she is, talking nonsense as usual! I don’t mind the conversation to focus a little more on her and Jerry uh, I’m kind of tired of talking about Mike after all. But I can’t stand her when she puts herself down like this, I can’t help it. Apart from the fact that she’s so cute and could be with any guy, I can’t believe such a smart girl really gives so much importance to appearance.

“And even when he started to, you know, hit on me, I’ve always kinda avoided him because are you kidding me? Just forget it! And well, maybe that’d have been the wisest choice in that specific case… but ehm that’s not the point. Jerry probably never loved me, but during the months we spent sort of together he must have been vaguely attracted to me at least for a minute, right? Well, I still can’t figure it out, I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Then, well, the fact he cheated on me didn’t help to convince me he really liked me”

“Angie you’re completely out of your mind, if Jerry was a dick is not because he wasn’t attracted to you, that’s got nothing to do with that” I retort dumbfounded. Ok, Jerry wasn’t the perfect boyfriend, but how can she still doubt he even liked her? There are two possibilities: either her self esteem is lower than I thought or she’s dumb.

“I know but… well, I can’t help thinking that if I looked nicer, none of that would have happened. It’s something I always think about, the answer I give to myself for everything, not just when somebody dumps me. If I were beautiful nobody would have left me…” her voice becomes a little louder but also shakier, as she lists her stupid assumptions “if I were beautiful, Drake the quarterback wouldn’t have dated me only in secret, if I were beautiful I wouldn’t have got the part of the bush in the third grade’s Christmas school play, if I were beautiful I would have got the job as a receptionist in that luxury hotel near the Space Needle, if I were beautiful someone would spontaneously help me get the items from the highest shelves whenever I shop at the supermarket and I wouldn’t be forced to climb them up risking my life every time”

“But you do know there’s absolutely no connection between these things you mentioned and beauty, right?” as if only good looking people were the only ones to go on in life. And then, what does good looking mean? Who sets the standards?

“Rationally I do, but… but no, because I’ve got the deeply-rooted awareness that my life’d be different if I looked better, but my life is imperfect because I don’t and it’s something that’s always with me. It’s not like I’m always thinking about it, I don’t need to, it’s like breathing or hearing, it’s not like you’re always focusing on inhaling and exhaling or on the fact of having ears, but at the same time you breathe and you hear sounds and you don’t need to give too much thought about it to figure out that after four flights of stairs you’re gonna be out of breath if you already know that you’re out of training, you already know it from the first step but you just don’t think about it in the moment because sooner or later your own limits will show up themselves. I don’t need to keep on reminding myself that I’m not beautiful enough because sooner or later I’ll run into something that’ll do that for me.

“Do you think a beautiful person’s life is perfect?”

“No, just easier in certain contexts”

“Well, then your life is very easy, Angie, because you’re a total babe”

“Are you hitting on me?” she uses my previous joke against me.

“Haha no, but I would if we werent’ both extremely heterosexual”

“And it would be pointless anyway because I’d feel so out of your league, like Mike. Maybe” Angie’s so good at changing subject and bringing back Mike again.

“Mike doesn’t have issues about his looks, at least I don’t think so”

“It’s not necessarily about looks, maybe he thinks he’s not cool or strong enough, not loyal enough, funny enough, tall enough, it can be any fucking thing, I don’t know, he might think he’s not left handed enough because he plays guitar right handed” Angie grabs the pen once again and starts drawing a series of thick dots in line, one for each point she mentions.

“Ok, but what can I do about it? It’s his problem, I never did anything to make him insecure”

“Exactly, it’s his problem and he tried to solve it his way, only that way was wrong. For example, how he always told people alternative versions of your relationship, new guys included, like he did with Eddie at the Off Ramp. Kind of the same thing a certain girl did, you know, trying to keep it quiet about her dating a blond-haired guitarist until the end…” she draws a line that goes from the first dot towards the left, ending with an arrow, then she draws an identical one going to the right.

“Uhm”

“Or trying to forget you with Melanie, a girl who’s always adored him and made him feel cool. Kind of the same thing the same unnamed girl we both know did when she let herself go with an old summer fling and thoughtlessly kissed the hell out of him” two more arrows extend from the last dot in the line.

“But I was a bitch to Mike because he deserved that, the long-haired guitarist was an asshole because he is an asshole”

“I’m not saying the two stories are the same, they’re completely different. But there are things about Mike that I can relate to and, in the end, as I already told you, although for different reasons, we both think we got what we deserved, as twisted as it looks to you” the left arrows are now pointing at a small triangle, the right ones at a rectangle.

“Are you on his side then?”

“No, I’m on your side, his and yours. I believe he cares for you and loves you, but the most important thing is what you feel for him. Because you may have spent the latest nights drinking and talking shit about Mike with Mel, but deep inside I think you’re still in love with him, I think you never stopped loving him or you’d have already set him aside as old paperwork and you wouldn’t have got so mad when you felt he had cancelled you from his life since he hadn’t told Melanie about you” she goes on as she’s focused on filling the two shapes at the sides of the paper with her pen.

I hate it when she’s right, I hate her very often then. Basically always.

“Maybe I got mad because I just hate him”

“Hate is not the opposite of love, this is commonly known also among those who select the love messages they put in chocolate wrappers, which by the way is the job that you end up doing if you’re not hot enough to get a normal job”

“The opposite of love is indifference”

“There you go! Your semester of Psychology turned useful in the end!” she puts down the pen and stretches her right hand towards me for a sarcastic handshake.

“Don’t push your luck, darling”

“Anyway, what I meant is, yeah, finding out what’s going through Mike’s head would be nice, but your feelings are what really matters”

“And you know my feeling better than me I guess”

“You know them too, but you do anything to hide them. And, I must add, in vain”

“So? What should I do now?”

“Well I… I don’t want to influence your choices, you gotta do what you think it’s right for-”

“Just cut the crap and tell me what to do, come on” I’m honest, when I want to pry into other people’s privacy I just do that, without beating around the bush.

“Well, literally quoting the words a dear friend of mine told me some time ago, I’d say that… Mike owes you an explanation anyway, don’t you think? You should ask him to meet you, tonight maybe, and put him under pressure and have him talk to you and if you don’t like what he says… you can always start a fight” Angie’s suggesting to me the same thing I told her when the story about Jerry in New York came out and he went to Roxy’s to take her home. That was some good advice, and not just because it came from me, even though in retrospect I should have told her to castrate him and throw his dick in the frying French fries oil.

“I never back up from a fight”

“What a coincidence, it’s the same thing my dear friend once told me”

“I could invite him over at our place… what do you think? Would it be better in a neutral place?” I can’t help giving up, after all I can’t reject my advice.

“Nah, it’d be better in a place when you’re slightly advantaged. And where he can’t easily run away from. So our apartment is perfect”

“Right”

“And don’t worry, I’ll try and stay away, maybe I could go to the library and study a little. Or at worst, I could ring Chris and Matt’s doorbell with an excuse”

“Oh right, I forgot! You’re not working tonight! I can ask Mike tomorrow or-” I completely forgot she changed her shift.

“Don’t dare using me as an excuse, just do it tonight, talk to him”

“Ok… but… there’s a but”

“And what is it?”

“Melanie. We’re friends now”

“A very honest and strong friendship, built on the hate for Mike McCready”

“Exactly. If she knew I’m seeing Mike she’d hatefully kick my ass”

“Come on, she… she doesn’t need to know right now after all”

“Wait wait, the good girl is telling me to lie?”

“Sure, I lie all the time. But this wouldn’t even be an actual lie, it’s just leaving out a little piece of information, which is still incomplete by the way, since you don’t know how things are gonna evolve yet. When you have the whole picture of the situation, you’ll think about what to tell her. That is just my two cents anyway, then it’s up to you…”

“I see, it’s just-”

“And who told you she wouldn’t be doing the same thing in your place? I mean, honestly I think she’ll likely do the same. She could have done it already in my opinion”

She’s smart, I must admit it.

“Ok, you convinced me”

******************************************************************************************************************************

As soon as I get out of the gallery I instinctively pull my hoodie over my head, as I foresee the usual 16:30 Seattle drizzle. I’m extremely surprise when I notice, not only the total absence of rain drops, both in the air and on the streets, but even more than a few ray of lights pointing right at my face, right now that they’re almost going down. Just like a couple of rare gems for die hard fans only at the end of a pretty traditional setlist. I pull back the hoodie as I mentally forgive myself for the forced music metaphor, blaming the upcoming tour and the making of the album for that. Actually the amount of songs we’ve got would be easily enough for three albums… well, not that much maybe, just a couple of albums and an ep. Anyway, since our creative streak’s still flowing and far from consuming I can’t see why we should stop. Half of our work may end up in the gutter, or most likely in my parents’ garage, but who knows anyway, maybe the best song of our album is yet to be written, maybe we’ll write it right today.

After I went off like a shot, I decide to slow down the pace, partly to enjoy a little more this almost unknown solar experience, partly because after you spent an hour and a half in a basement, yet doing what you love the most, you need to breathe some fresh air at some point, also to clear your mind. I enjoy Seattle in its best light and although the panorama of the stores and offices on the alley between Belltown and Blanchard is not exactly postcard-like, it’s got a charm of its own. Even the red and green on the sign of the 7-Eleven where I go buy cigarettes seem brighter. As I walk back to the gallery I pick up the pace a little, because at the beginning of the practice session Jeff said something about a riff going through his head since last night and I don’t want him to play it to the others first while I’m not there. When I’ve almost got to the graffiti covered building, the female figure sitting on the sidewalk makes me slow down until I completely stop in front of her.

“Oh I’m sorry little girl scout, I already bought like ten boxes of your cookies, I can’t give myself the munchies every time only to help your cause” I joke as I notice the green dress under Grace’s white jacket and her small braids Laura Ingalls-style.

“Hello to you too, Stone! How are you doing?” she doesn’t stand up, she just rolls her eyes before saying hi.

“Pretty well, thanks! Well apart from my blood sugar level, it’s all those fucking cookies’ fault…”

“Well, you know, us little explorers walk a lot, burn sugar fast, unlike stoned musicians”

“Given your sense of direction, if you’re an explorer I’m a black belt in karate”

“Do you have nice things to tell me too or you’re planning to focus only on making fun of me today?”

“Actually I didn’t prepare anything to tell you, since I had no psychic premonitions telling me I’d have casually met you in the streets this afternooon, so consider I’m improvising with the first things that come to my mind when I think of you”

“Thank you, I’m happy to see you too. But… I’d not call it a completely casual meeting”

“Because you think fate wanted us to meet and so gave you foot pain just outside my practice space so you’d have took a break right here?”

“Hehe you’re not that wrong, you know? Anyway, more simply, I came here specifically to see you”

“Really? Well, thank you for your visit. Are cookies a present then?”

“What’s up with the record and all the rest?” she asks ignoring my bullshit as I sit down beside her.

“It’s alright, we finally managed to get free from our old record company and deal, I don’t know if I already told you. Anyway, we keep on recording new demos. It’s gonna be a problem when it’s time to pick up what’s actually going and not going onto the album”

“A problem you’re gonna solve by choosing yourself on behalf of everyone else, right?”

“Exactly! You may not be a great explorer, but your insightfulness is remarkable. What about you? How’s it going?”

“I’m fine, thanks”

“Great! Are there… any news?”

“What news?”

“News, I don’t know, new things happening to you that you consider somehow interesting or worth telling, events you usually mention in an average conversation between two people”

“Mmm no, nothing new”

“Ok…” and she came here specifically to tell me nothing?

“I don’t live the hectic life of artists like you, you know”

“Did we already get to that point in the conversation when you insult me as well to balance my cruelty?”

“And I’m not as lucky as some of my friends, who work in retail and can tell funny stories about ehm particular customers”

“Customers? Particular? Who are you talking about?” I know well who’s she talking about, now I know why she came here.

“Oh I was thinking about a friend of mine, his name is Pete, I don’t know if I ever mentioned him to you”

“No, I’m afraid not, never heard of him. Unless his surname is Townshend. Or Sampras. But I don’t remember discussing about them with you”

“He’s a clerk in that huge shoe store in downtown Seattle, do you know that? Right in front of the vegan restaurant”

“Mmm yeah, maybe” it only took me a mini-round of phone calls to find out where the jerk she’s going out with works, ten minutes tops and I had the address.

“Ok, well, anyway he told me a really weird story”

“Wow, I can’t wait to hear it” I say distractedly, with a clearly fake enthusiasm, while I open the pack of cigarettes I’ve just bought and light one up.

“Yeah, about a guy who went there yesterday morning and basically drove him insane”

“Uh really? Everybody knows that after all, that’s how it is when you work in retail” I snicker and I’m not that good at hiding it.

“Like he had him take almost every pair of shoes he had in the shop and not a single one was good. And he kept coming up with more and more absurd technical reasons, like the sole was too thick or too narrow, the color was too colorful, the tip was too pointy, but only after giving Pete the illusion he had found the right one each time. And this was the most evil thing in my opinion!”

“Well, shoes are important, uncomfortable shoes can turn your day into a nightmare, think about it”

“Yeah. And the customer left an hour later without buying anything. Pete wanted to kill him”

“Poor Pete” actually it was an hour and fifteen minutes.

“After he tried on a hundred shoes, he asked if that was all they had”

“Really?”

“And the final nail in the coffin was put as he was leaving the store, when he pointed out that anyway he had just entered to have a look because he had no money with him”

“Come on, is Pete sticking his nose in customers’ financial affairs now?”

“And you… I bet you don’t know anything about it? I mean, about this story…”

“In fact, I know a lot about it!”

“You admit it then?!” she turns around to face me with wide open eyes, thinking she caught me.

“Sure I know about it, you’ve just told me everything!”

So naive.

“Ha-ha, really funny…”

“That wasn’t a joke”

“So have you got anything to do with it? Wasn’t it you, the annoying customer?”

“Not at all, who told you?”

“Nobody, it’s just that Pete’s description of the man reminded me of someone, you know: slender, long hair, big doe eyes, smart ass smile, nice teeth, leopard vest. Does that ring any bells with you?” she turns back around, looking right in front of her.

“If that’s the exact description Pete gave to you, I’d seriously start questioning your boyfriend’s sexuality if I were you, Grace”

“I may have reworked the description a little. Anyway, who told you Pete’s my boyfriend?” she asks me with a side look.

“I tried to guess. Isn’t he?”

“No, he’s not”

“No?”

“I went out with him a couple of times, but I soon realized he’s not really my type and it was the same for him. So we’re just friends”

“Uhm I see. Anyway I didn’t drive your new friend nuts” I retort trying to look totally indifferent at the news.

“That’s too bad though”

“Is it?”

“Well, for a moment I thought it could be you, that you might have been jealous, or simply annoyed, and that you went there with the evil intent of irritating him”

“What?! Hahahah jealous? And wha-” I stand up bursting out in a pretty exaggerated laughter, but what comes next is so unexpected that makes me fall completely silent in a second.

“Do you have any plans for after your rehearsal, Stone?”

“After? Well, I don’t know, after practice I’ll probably go get something to eat and then it depends”

“And what if you go out for dinner with me and then we take a walk?”

“With you?”

“Yeah. Would you like that?”

“And where?”

“Uhm I don’t know, I’d be curious to try that vegan restaurant, what do you think?”

“It’s a trap! You want to take me to Pete for an identification!”

“Hahaha no, Pete won’t be there. And by the way, you’d have got nothing to be afraid of since it wasn’t you…”

“Will you pay for dinner?” I ask her after pretending to ponder about it for a while, in the meantime it seems like she wants to stand up as well.

“If I pay for dinner, you’ll pay for the cinema” she answers and holds out her hand for me to help her up.

“Cinema? Is there cinema too? Isn’t the walk enough?”

“Dinner+walk+movies”

“In this order?”

“We have dinner first, then we can digest our meal by walking and then we can rest at the movie theater, everything has a logic”

“Are you sure you can make it to the movies? You’re tired already, you can’t even stand up”

“Ok well, I’ll be there in front of the vegan restaurant at 7:00 waiting, it’s up to you then. Bye Stone!” she shakes her head, waves her hand bye at me and is about to leave.

“I’ve got practice with the band until seven, make it half past seven” I finally cut the crap and give her a serious answer, so that Grace stops in her tracks and slowly turns around.

“I’ll be there at half past six then” she winks at me, then disappears before I can even say anything, not because she’s fast, she walks away slowly, but rather because she left me totally speechless. And it’s not something that happens to me very often, quite the contrary. And me being left speechless leaves me even more speechless, in an amazed and amazing muteness.

At some point I wake up from my state and come back to reality, so to speak, not completely since I walk up to the main entrance of the art gallery, temporarily forgetting that it’s closed today and that I need to get in from the backdoor. I call myself an idiot before walking around the building and when I’m about to knock on the big door I almost get it right in my face.

“Hey Stone, this is perfect timing. You got any change?” Eddie comes out looking at the sky above him, probably as surprised as I was for the lack of rain, and waves a banknote under my nose.

“Yes, wait, I got some spare change after buying cigarettes”

And apparently, I’ve also got a date.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

The change I just got from Stone’s jingling in my pocket as I quickly leave the alley to go feed the parking meter for Jeff. I came here by bus, public transportation works great here in Seattle. The number of cars in this city is impressive though, basically everybody here has got a car, everyone I know has one and use it to go anywhere, even just round the corner. They sometimes take the bus or train or the monorail too, go to work by bike or skate, but still they’ve got a car anyway. I rarely come here by truck, most of all because of the lack of parking places. The only parking area round here that’s quite large, and free, is Roxy’s one and it was already packed when I came here. As I think about this, I take a quick look at the car park outside the diner, then start putting quarters into the parking meter to add a couple of hours. As I turn the handle to push the umpteenth quarter down, I realize there’s something I didn’t notice in the moment: I look back up towards the diner and focus on the sparkling blue Mini Cooper parked on the left. What the hell is she doing here at this time? She never works this shift. I put the rest of the coins in the machine so that Jeff won’t get a ticket and then quickly cross the road. I don’t need to get that close to spot her through the glass, from behind, as she’s writing down the order of a middle aged couple sitting right next to the window. A few steps closer allow me to better appreciate the sweet curve of her neck, exposed thanks to her protocol pony tail, from which few shorter hair stick out just above her nape and that is the exact spot where all my attention goes, while she nods, smiles and writes down on her little notepad and has got no idea that I’m here, looking at her and wanting to bury my nose right there and give her goosebumps with a trail of soft kisses. I wake up from my cheap romance novel daydreaming when Angie leaves the table and goes behind the counter, probably to pass the order to the kitchen. I sigh, resigned to my pathetic condition, and enter the diner.

When I’m inside, Angie’s already on the other side of the main room, busy removing some empty cups of previous customers from another table. She turns around at the sound of the door bell and welcomes me with one of her usual smiles I’ll never totally get used to, I think.

“Hey Angie” I say hi when we meet halfway, both heading to the counter.

“Hi Eddie, where are you coming from?” she asks and gives me a strange look, stopping in front of the counter with me and placing the tray with the dirty cups on it.

“From the gallery, we’re rehearsing, as usual”

“And you argued with your band mates maybe?” she goes on as she rubs her hands on her apron as if to clean them.

“No, why?” I ask preplexed.

“Did they turn blind then? Because they clearly didn’t even take a single look at you”

“What do you mean?” I insists and I don’t understand and I still don’t understand even when Angie slowly pulls my jacket open and starts unbottoning my shirt. I’m probably giving her an allucinated look because the moment we make eye contact she bursts out laughing.

“Hehehe can’t you see you skipped a button? They’re all messed up”

“Uh… I didn’t notice… I got dressed quickly” I answer embarrassed, as her fingertips unintentionally trace a delicate line going from my chest to my belly, lightly touching me at every button.

“I see. Here, now you’re presentable” she states as she finishes her work adjusting my shirt collar.

“Thank you, mom”

“Wasn’t I a princess? Was I downgraded to mother? Am I that old already?” she inquires, still grasping at my shirt collar with both hands.

“I’d say you’ve been upgraded, to queen, queen mother”

“Haha ok, anyway you’re welcome.” she’s about to let go of me and go back to work, but something gets in the way. And I’m not sorry at all “Oops! Fuck, I must have pulled a thread!”

Angie tries to unstuck the strand that got caught into her watch and still keeps her attached to me and I look at her and smile, doing absolutely nothing to help her.

“Will I still be presentable?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, not a big deal,” Angie manages to pull out the thread from the watchband and then wraps it a little around her finger before cutting it with a quick movement “you won’t remain naked”

“It was like you had me on a leash” I remark, still in the clouds.

“Haha like a dog?”

“Yes. Or like a surf board”

“Do surf boards have leashes?”

“Some do actually. There’s this sort of security cord, you attach the thread to the board and on the other hand there’s a ring you have to tie around your ankle”

“So you won’t loose it when you fall into the water… that’s pure genius” Angie stops examining my shirt when she’s sure that she really didn’t damage it, she goes behind the counter, takes the tray with the dirty cups and spoons and walks away into the kitchen.

“That could be useful for us too, so I won’t loose you when you work alternative shifts” I say as she shows up again on the other side of the counter.

“I’d be the surf board of the two? I thought it was the opposite”

“I am the surfer, so…” I remind her as I sit on one of the stools.

“But I had the ring at my wrist” she retorts showing the wrist where she has the watch.

“Anyway, why are you here now? You usually never work this shift”

“And how do you know?”

“Do I really have to tell you once again I’m a good observer? I feel disappointed”

“I changed shift with Steffy, another colleague of mine, I don’t know if you ever met her. Blond hair, bangs and glasses. Very cute”

“Mmm no, or maybe yes, I don’t remember really”

“She always works the afternoon shift, she was busy today and asked me to swap shifts. She’s also very single, you know? I can introduce her to you if you want” she adds and definitely ruins the moment.

“No, thank you”

“But she’s really nice and funny”

“Sorry if I don’t trust your judgement, since you thought Violet was nice and funny too” I retort as the door bell rings again.

“No, she is for real, really down to earth and… not crazy. At least, she doesn’t look like. Anyway, why don’t you try to find out?”

“Honestly I’m not in the mood for finding out things right now, I’m focused on something else” in fact, in this exact moment all my attention is focused on the two winged lines she drew on her eyelids with the eye pencil. They look identical, but one, the one on the left, is slightly lower than the right one, which must be also a tad thicker than the other one, but it’s a matter of millimeters.

“Yeah, I know, work I guess, with the tour and everything, I can understand” yeah, you really understood everything.

“Right. So what’s your shift then? What time do you end?”

“Oh I’ll be free in an hour more or less” she replies as she walks towards the table where the customers who got here last are sitting, after she gave them some time to look through the menu.

“So your shift ends at six” I tell her as she walks past me, handing the new order and taking the food from the kitchen.

“Exactly” she confirms before walking away.

“What a coincidence, our practice ends at that time too” I lie when she’s right back next to me.

“Really? So early?”

“Yeah, the gallery’s technically closed today, they gave the keys to us and scheduled this rehearsing time”

“I see” she’s apparently lost in her thoughts as she fills the coffee pot.

“Maybe we can do something… together… if you want to”

“Like what?” Angie looks up and her arched eyebrow’s already a sign of suspect.

“I don’t know, like eating something somewhere and then, I don’t know, hang around” I try again, despite the previous failure, for the umpteenth time, and as I do I look at her and see the way she looks at me and I already think about the jokes she’s gonna make, like maybe she’ll suggest to call Stephanie or what the hell is her fucking colleague called, she’ll ask me if there’s something wrong with me, if I’ve got problems, if I’m sad or feeling alone, if I’m right in the middle of a creativity crisis or writer’s block or some other bullshit, whereas I just wanna take her out because I like her so much and I don’t even know how to make her understand.

“Ok, I’m in” she answers, then goes back working on the coffee machine and it takes me a while to elaborate her reply because at the beginning I think I got it wrong and maybe didn’t understand, but I know better than ask her again, most of all because I’m afraid that if I ask her once again I could get a different answer or one of Angie’s typical remarks I referred to before. At some point though I figure out we need some sort of confirmation, someone must make the thing official, because I can’t just drop it without any kind of certainty.

“So is it a yes?”

“Sure, why not? Did you already think of a place to eat?” she says yes and her voice has the same effect of someone pinching you to tell you that no, you’re not dreaming.

“Well, yeah, there’s a couple places that I wanted to try but… we’ll decide together of course. If you want to go somewhere…”

“I have an hour to come up with something, then we’ll decide together, ok?” someone calls Angie from the kitchen, then she comes out with two trays full of plates and heads straight to the tables.

“That’s great! So, ehm, see you here at six then, I’ll come here and get you, I mean, get you out” I try and look not too excited when she comes back, swaying on the stool and placing my elbows on the counter, almost climbing over it.

“Ok, no need to hurry though, take your time, you know, I must get changed and everything”

“Oh ok. So we won’t need to go to your place first, we can go straight away, right?”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve got my civilian clothes with me, don’t worry”

“Fine”

“Isn’t it about time to cut this hair?” Angie tilts her head slightly to the left and looks at me with a wide smile, soon censored by the usual quick movement of the lip to cover up the outward pointing tooth.

“Do you think it’s too long?” I ask as I examine a lock of my messy hair, trying to disentangle it with my fingers.

“No, I was talking about this here” Angie moves her hand at my head and then gently strokes the shaved side, which I clearly had exposed without noticing, throwing all my hair to the other side while I was getting all worked up because of her yes, trying to look calm and cool.

“Ah”

“It grew up a lot” she goes on, keeping her hand firm on my head and only brushing her thumb through my hair, both the direction of the growth and against it, up and down, and I think that if she doesn’t stop soon I’ll be screwed because her touch is so delicious that it gives immediate addiction and I gotta go back to the gallery and find an excuse to ditch the guys one hour earlier. And then that one hour will have to pass and I can’t really spend it dreaming of the next time Angie’ll touch me. Also because it’s not sure she’ll do it again and it’d be pathetic to spend our first date trying to come up with tricks to have her touch me.

“Yes, but I decided to let them grow anyway, I won’t shave them anymore”

“No?”

“Nah, I’m tired of that cut, I’ll let them all grow the same and fuck it” I explain as I brush my hand through my hair and lightly touch her fingertips with mine.

“Well, a change is good from time to time. I never did anything to my hair, there are times when I think of having a drastic cut or dying them, I’ll do it sooner or later” Angie pulls away from me and I already miss her.

“A nice side cut for you too?”

“Haha why not? Why not a nice mohawk?” she giggles and I’d want to tell her that she’d be beautiful even if she was bald and had hair drawn in permanent marker, but I decide I’d better spare my best compliments for later.

“Whatever you’re gonna do with your hair, I’m with you”

“Thanks for supporting me! Meg threatens to kill me every time I ask her for advice about changing my hairstyle”

“Well, maybe you should start with something easier, less drastic, then she’ll get used to that. Now… well, I really have to go now, the guys are waiting for me” I stand up from the stool, but I seriously wouldn’t leave this place. Or I’d go but I’d take her with me to the gallery, possibly attached to me or at least as close as possible, maybe carrying her on my shoulders as we did on our way back from the beach party. I’d walk that path back and forth ten times just to feel her all over me that way.

“And you just leave like this?” she asks puzzled and I don’t understand.

“Uh?”

“Don’t you want anything? Didn’t you come here for your usual coffee?”

“Oh! No, actually no”

“Why then?” right, why? To see you, adorable dickhead.

“Well for… for this!” I take my wallet and pull out a dollar “I almost forgot, I need quarters for the parking meter”

Angie gives me the change and we say bye, setting a date for an hour from now.

The door of the diner seems like an inter-dimensional portal, the way back to reality, and when I’m out I need to turn around and look inside the restaurant again to make sure Angie’s really there and that we really talked then and I didn’t dream anything. Only when I cross the road I realize it’s started to rain, the usual afternoon drizzle, a phenomenon that emphasizes even more the contrast between the moment with Angie at Roxy’s and the outside world. As I reach the other side of the road I remain for a while next to the parking meter, pretending to work on it, just in case Angie’s watching and I think I never felt so stupid in my whole life. I still feel stupid, but a little less, when I find the backdoor of the gallery is closed and nobody answer when I knock, although insistently. They’re playing inside and can’t hear me and the drizzle is turning into heavy rain. I try to knock once again, harder, on the metal door, then hold still and listen, not really to hear what they’re playing, but simply to take advantage of the moment they’re not playing to try and knock again and have them come open the door. Anyway time goes by and nobody gives a fuck about me and I end up paying attention to the song, something I can’t recognize. A few more minutes into it and I figure out I really don’t know this song, it must be new, maybe it started from that bass line Jeff was talking about earlier. And the funny thing is the only thing I can hear from the outside is the bass and the more I listen to it, the more it sounds magic to me, but at the same time solid, almost touchable. It sounds like an actual melody rather than a simple bass line. As I lean against the building wall as much as I can, looking for a non existing shelter from the rain, I stick my hands into my pockets and in one pocket I feel the change Angie gave to me, in the other one I find a piece of paper. I pull it out and I immediately remember my little theft: it’s the page of the notepad with the small triangles and squares drawn by Angie at the mini mart. Since I’m locked out I might as well try and come up with something. Luckily I always have a pen in my pocket, I may forget wallets, cigarettes, put on two different socks, button down my shirt all fucking wrong, but I never forget to grab a pen before I leave home. I fold the scrap of paper into four and place it against the wall, I hold my pen and I’m ready to get inspired: and all I can think about right now is Angie, her tender way of looking at me and taking care of me, her hands, my longing for her touch that I can’t wait to feel again, the thread that connected us physically for a moment and the one that figurately keeps us together and helps us finding and not losing each other through the waves, of the ocean. Like my favorite one, the one that’s got her name.

#pearl jam #pearl jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #stone gossard #eddie vedder #chapters

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sywtwfs · 7 years

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Replies

PSA: Sorry for the delay, the last few days have been busy! We are cracking down on our inbox in the future because it’s getting too big to manage. Please remember to check the blog first, or try a Google search. 95% of the time, Google will give you an answer faster than we will. (We have about 40 asks in our inbox right now.) Thanks for understanding! If you still can’t find any information by yourself, go ahead and ask us.

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How are the base values for combination jumps computed?

Add the base values of the jumps in the combo. If it’s a sequence (with a “hop” in between the jumps), the BV is 80% of the sum. This information is in our intro to jumps guide, so please refer to that next time.

Figure skating have referees. I never knew they have them until now. What exactly do they do? It's not like fights would break out on the rink for them to call foul or something, right? Perhaps they are the ones who can forbid skaters from performing if shouldn't anymore? Do they dock points in the score? I'm confused by their presence.

“Event referees are in charge of the event on which they serve and act as the event spokesperson. They also manage the panel of judges and, depending on the size of the competition, may serve as one of the event's judges as well. The event referee is responsible for timing the programs, taking certain deductions (in IJS), deciding on all protests with respect to their event, conducting pre-event meetings (usually held at qualifying competitions), and allowing a skater/team to restart a program that has been stopped” Source. Next time, please try Googling this!

What exactly are entries and how do they work? (Sorry I'm new here)

I’m not sure what you’re trying to ask; please be more specific. Entries to competitions are the competitors at each competition, but I don’t know if that’s what you’re asking.

hi so i have a kind of dumb question. let's say that there's a skater and he has a 4T planned but since he wants to somehow get a higher score he changes it while skating the program during competition (so i guess not officially) to let's say 4Lz. Will it be counted as a normal 4Lz or marked as invalid because it wasn't the initially planned jump?

It would be counted as a 4Lz. Skaters are allowed to deviate from their planned content; it happens often. But they have to be careful that while changing their jumps around, they don’t break any layout rules, or they might get a jump invalidated.

for the 4cc, does everyone do the fs or just the top people?

The free skate cutoff for ISU Championships is top 24 after the SP for singles, top 20 for ice dance, and top 16 for pairs.

what do you call that spin??? where skaters kick the ice then raises a leg then kick the ice again? (haha sorry i think i am not making any sense)

If you’re talking about the flying entry to the spin where the skater kicks the ice a few times, it’s called a “star”.

What do skaters do after they practice? (During competitions) do they got back to the hotel? Or they have to stay in the arena? Or are they free to go on a little tour of the city?

They can do whatever they want. Some of them hang out at the hotel or go sightseeing.

Hi, this may be a silly question so I apologise in advance, but what's the difference between the official practices and unofficial practices at competitions? When you buy tickets to go to the practices, that would be the official one, right? Can spectators watch the unofficial one? Sorry I'm just really confused, thank you so much in advance.

There isn’t really a clear distinction, but official practices at competitions are the ones on the official schedule and are considered part of the competition. They also have a larger media presence and sometimes the audience can watch, depending on the event. If a skater wants extra time to practice, they might need to rent ice time at a different rink nearby.

What's the biggest surprise winner of a major competition that you know of? I mean, has there ever been a situation where a skater that no one expected to podium, or wasn't expected to do better than Top 6 (or 10 or whatever] ended up with gold? And to follow up to that, would such an unexpected victory have to depend on all the top guys flopping, or has it ever happened that some low-ranked skater suddenly pulled way more skills and just blew away even fairly clean higher ranked guys? Thanks!

Well...plenty of examples, but since 4CC just happened, Kevin Reynolds winning 2013 4CC was a pretty big surprise. All the favorites bombed and Kevin just happened to have two great performances.

What are the challenger series?

Scroll to the bottom of our intro to competitions post.

Each event has an opening ceremony?

Not every event. Larger competitions usually do.

Where can I see all the competitions and not only the majors? For example Open ice mall cup or Olympic hopes

Some of the small competitions provide livestreams, most of them don’t. Videos from fans sometimes pop up on Youtube but many of them are just never recorded.

Hi! Do you have any idea why it could be that the isu stream does not work for me? It sometimes starts loading and then says that "an error has occurred". My country most certainly does not broadcast anything, so it shouldn't be geoblocked. Maybe something to do with flash player or browser? I am just asking in case you have any ideas(:

As long as any TV company in your country has the rights to show ISU competitions, it doesn’t matter if they actually show it or not - the ISU stream will still be blocked. If that’s not the case and you are still having technical difficulties, try refreshing the stream or using a different browser. Sometimes the ISU stream can have issues.

Hi, do skaters need to pay licensing fees for the music they use in their programs? Has there ever been a case where a skater has to change their program because of licensing issues? Also, who is the skater in the gif on your sidebar? Thanks!

Skaters don’t pay licensing fees for music, rinks and competition organizers do. We’re not aware of a skater changing their music because of licensing issues because the rinks usually take care of it, but it might have happened before. The skater in our sidebar is 2010 Olympic bronze medalist and World Champion Daisuke Takahashi of Japan, one of our favorite skaters. :)

what is silver doe award?

Some kind of Russian sports award. Apparently Evgenia recently won it.

I feel a bit stupid asking this but... 1) if a skater finishes their program but are unable to salute the judges (fainting, panic attack, asthma attack, etc..) what happens, do they still get scored and placed?2) What if they can salute but can't manage to leave the ice without help, or faint after saluting? 3) and what if they manage to get off the ice but have to be taken in charge medically immediately or faint right at the boards, and can't go to the k&c?

If they completed their program, they will still be scored. If they have to stop partway through and cannot finish the program, they will be listed as Withdrawn and will not be scored.

How do competitions decide who gets to skate in the gala? Are there certain criteria?

Medalists are automatically invited to the gala, the rest is up to the competition organizers. They usually invite the more famous, big-name skaters, and crowd favorites who have entertaining exhibitions, regardless of where they place.

why is shoma's team japan jacket shiny while yuzuru's is matte?

Because there are many different styles of Team Japan jackets.

Are there any videos of the mens press conference from 4cc?

No, only a few news clips from Japanese TV. I haven’t seen a full video anywhere.

this might be kind of a dumb question but what's a jumping pass?

A solo jump or combination. For example, the singles short program has 3 jumping passes, but 4 jumps because one of the jumping passes is a combination with 2 jumps.

#anonymous #replies

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fangirlmomentsandmytwocents · 7 years

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HOLIDAY WISHES by Jill Shalvis Release Day Launch

From New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis comes the next sexy, standalone in the Heartbreaker Bay series, HOLIDAY WISHES, now available for $.99! Don’t miss the amazing excerpt below, and grab your copy today!

About HOLIDAY WISHES:

It’s Christmastime again in Heartbreaker Bay!

When Sean O’Riley shows up at the Hartford Bed & Breakfast for his older brother’s bachelor weekend, he’s planning to get through this weekend as well as he can and fulfill his duties as best man. What he’s not expecting is to come face to face with the woman he lost his virginity to a decade ago—a woman he’s never really forgotten.

The last time Lotti Hartford saw Sean, she told him she loved him while he said nothing. Now, ten years later, she’s just looking for a good time. For once, she wants to be wild and free, and when she sees how good Sean grew up, she thinks he might actually be the perfect candidate.

As the weekend continues, Sean realizes that after a lifetime of being the hook-up king, he’s ready to find happily-ever-after with Lotti. But is she ready to open her heart once again? As Christmas sweeps through the little B&B, love and magic are in the air.

Grab your copy of HOLIDAY WISHES in eBook or paperback, now available in eBook for just $.99!

Add to your Goodreads

EXCERPT:

To say Sean felt stressed was a huge understatement. Give him a cliff to scale or a bar brawl to break up. Hell, give him a freight train to try to outrun, anything but having to pull off being the best man for his brother Finn’s wedding—including but not limited to keeping said brother from losing his collective shit.

It’s not like Sean didn’t understand. Getting married was a big deal. Okay, so he didn’t fully understand, not really, but he wanted to. He really did. And how funny was that? Sean O’Riley, younger brother, hook-up king extraordinaire, was suddenly tired of the game and found himself aching for his own forever after.

“We almost there?” Finn asked him from the backseat of the vehicle Sean was driving.

“Yep.”

“And you double checked on our reservations?”

“Yep.”

“No, I’m serious, man,” Finn said. “Remember when you took me to Vegas and when we got there, every hotel was booked and we had to stay at the Magic-O motel?”

“Man, a guy screws up one time . . .”

“We had a stripper pole in our rooms, Sean.”

Sean sighed. “Okay, but to be fair, that was back when I was still in my stupid phase. I promise you that we have reservations—no stripper poles. I even double and triple checked, just like you asked me a hundred and one times. Pru, I hope you realize you’re marrying a nag.”

Pru, Finn’s fiancée, laughed from the shotgun position. “Hey, one of us has to be the nag in this relationship, and it isn’t me.”

Sean held up a palm and Pru leaned over the console to give him a high-five.

“Just so you know,” Sean said to Finn, “I didn’t pick this place, your woman did.”

“True story,” Pru said. “The B&B’s closed to the public this entire weekend. Sean booked the whole place for our bachelor/bachelorette party weekend extravaganza.”

“I superheroed this thing,” Sean said.

Finn snorted and let loose of a small smile because they both knew that for most of Sean’s childhood, that’s what he’d aspired to be, a superhero—sans tights though. Tights had never been Sean’s thing, especially after suffering through them for two seasons in high school football before he’d mercifully cracked his clavicle.

After that, he’d turned to fighting, and not the good kind either. Finn, physically older by seven years, mentally older by about a hundred, had single-handedly saved Sean from just about every situation he’d ever landed himself in. Thanks to Finn, there’d been a lot fewer situations than there should’ve been and it hadn’t been for lack of trying.

Fact was, everyone knew Sean had taken the slowest possible route on his way to growing up, complete with plenty of detours, but he’d hit his stride now. Or at least he hoped so because Finn was counting on him in a big way over the next week and Sean had let him down enough for a lifetime. He wouldn’t let him down now.

Sean pulled into the B&B’s parking lot and turned to face the crowd he’d driven from San Francisco to Napa. And he did mean crowd. They’d had to rent a fourteen-seat passenger van to fit everyone, and he was the weekend’s designated driver.

Oh, how times had changed. “Ready?” he asked.

Finn nodded. Pru was bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement. Willa, her BFF, was doing the same. Keane, Willa’s boyfriend, opened the door for everyone to tumble out.

It was two weeks before Christmas and the rolling hills of Napa Valley were lined with grape vines for as far as the eye could see, not that they could actually see them right now. It was late, pitch dark, and rain had been pouring down steadily all day, which didn’t detract from the beauty of the Victorian B&B in front of them. It did, however, detract from Sean’s eagerness to go out in the rain to get to it though.

Not Pru and Willa. The two raced through the downpour laughing and holding hands with Elle, Colbie, Kylie, and Tina—the rest of Pru’s posse—moving more cautiously in deference to the preservation of their heels. Sean, Finn, and Finn’s posse—Archer, Keane, Spence, and Joe—followed.

They all tumbled in the front door of the B&B and stopped short in awe of the place decorated with what had to be miles of garland and lights, along with a huge Christmas tree done up in all the bells and whistles. This place could’ve passed for Santa’s own house.

Collectively the group “oohed” and “ahhhed” before turning expectedly to Sean.

This was because he was actually in charge of the weekend’s activities that would lead up to the final countdown to the wedding happening next week at a winery about twenty minutes up the road. This was what a best man did apparently, take care of stuff. All the stuff. And that Finn had asked Sean to be his best man in the first place over any of the close friends with them this weekend had the pride overcoming his anxiety of screwing it all up.

But the anxiety was making a real strong bid right at the moment. He shook off some of the raindrops and started to head over to the greeting desk and twelve people began to follow. He stopped and was nearly plowed over by the parade. “Wait here,” he instructed, pausing until his very excited group nodded in unison.

Jesus. He shouldn’t have poured them that champagne to pre-game before they’d left O’Riley’s, the pub he and Finn owned and operated in San Francisco. And that he was the voice of reason right now was truly the irony of the century. “Stay,” he said firmly and then made his way past the towering Christmas tree lit to within an inch of its life, past the raging fire in the fireplace with candles lining the mantel . . . to the small, quaint check-in desk that had a plate with some amazing looking cookies and a sign that said: yes, these are for you—welcome!

“Yum,” Pru said and took one for each hand.

She hadn’t “stayed.” And neither had Finn. They both flanked Sean, munching on the cookies.

A woman sat at the check-in desk with a laptop, her fingers a blur, the tip of her Santa hat quivering as she typed away. She looked up and smiled as she took in the group. That is until her gaze landed on Sean and she froze.

He’d already done the same because holy shit—

“Greetings,” she said, recovering first and so quickly that no one else seemed to notice as she stood and smiled warmly everyone butSean. “Welcome to the Hartford B&B. My name’s Charlotte Hartford and I’m the innkeeper here. How can I help you?”

Good question. And Sean had the answer on the tip of his tongue, which was currently stuck to the roof of his mouth because he hadn’t been prepared for this sweet and sassy redheaded blast from his past.

And don’t miss these standalone novels in Jill Shalvis’s Heartbreaker Bay Series!

SWEET LITTLE LIES

THE TROUBLE WITH MISTLETOE ONE SNOWY NIGHT

ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE

CHASING CHRISTMAS EVE HOLIDAY WISHES ABOUT THAT KISS (Coming 1/23/18)

Grab your copies HERE!

About Jill Shalvis:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Jill Shalvis lives in a small town in the Sierras full of quirky characters. Any resemblance to the quirky characters in her books is, um, mostly coincidental. Look for Jill’s sexy contemporary and award-winning books wherever romances are sold and click on the blog button above for a complete book list and daily blog detailing her city-girl-living-in-the-mountains adventures.

FGMAMTC

Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Google+ / Pinterest / Goodreads / Tumblr / Bloglovin' / Instagram

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#release blitz #Jill Shalvis

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sandigertopf-blog · 7 years

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Namaste Nepal !

I find myself squished inside a minivan that has probably been built for eight people, but this is Nepal, so we are at least 25. A cute toddler is sitting on my lap looking terrified while his mom is offering me some weird looking candy that turns out to be no candy at all. I am having a great time until the bus driver yells at me “This is Ratna Park, get out!”

Getting out of a Nepalese minivan is one of the toughest challenges of my life. After I’ve finally made it, I hand the bus assistant (he is also the schedule shouter) 20 rupies (~18 cents), stand still and try to look as lost as possible. By then I have already been in Nepal for a week and have quickly learnt that this is the best way to get around. Instantly two guys walk up to me, smile and ask “Where do you want to go?” – “To the airport to pick up my boyfriend” I reply. “Come with us” they say.

While I am climbing into a taxi with two people I don’t know, I can’t stop myself from thinking “Mom told me to never get into strangers’ cars. But why did she never tell me what to do when you are completely lost in Nepal?”

The two guys drop me off at the airport, won’t accept any money from me and their last words are “Add us on Facebook and message us any time you need help.” The fare to get to the airport in Kathmandu is usually really high for white people and I have managed to get here for 18 cents. Being extremely proud of myself I walk in the most dodgy looking restaurant I can find, as the food in these places is usually the best, order some tea and noodles and instantly I am joined by a grandpa telling me funny stories about his hotel. Nepalese people in general don’t understand the concept of travelling alone, so wherever you go, you are joined by someone. After finishing my meal I go to the arrival hall, almost missing Moritz’ flight as I am too busy listening to the guy next to me telling me about Kathmandu’s living costs.

Moritz arrives and we are both eager to tell each other our stories of the last three weeks of travelling alone. While Moritz has been to Laos, I visited Singapore, Malaysia and Nepal. After a while he asks me “So what is the plan for the next weeks?” - “What do you mean?” I reply. - “Wasn’t that your job in the last week? Finding out about where and how to go trekking?”. I darkly remember that this could have been my task for the last week. “What have you been up to if not planning?” he asks.

Well, I don’t even know where to start. I think back to a week ago when I arrived in Kathmandu in the worst mood possible. It took forever to get my visa, the entire airport was a mess, so after 2,5 hours of waiting I finally found my backpack somewhere on the floor. After endless discussions with taxi drivers I finally settle on a way too high price only to be dropped off at a place that wasn’t even close to my hotel. It took me another two hours to find it.

Nepal quickly taught me to stop complaining and to be prepared that everything will take much longer than expected.

When I finally managed to leave the dusty streets of Kathmandu and got to the little towns and villages of the Kathmandu valley I could feel myself relaxing. From there on I had millions of cups of delicious milk tea and as many friendly talks with locals. Not one of them believed me at first that I didn’t have a plan and no Lonely Planet with me. They started to write me lists of what to see in Nepal, enough for a lifetime. They showed me the most delicious food and made sure I paid exactly the same as they did. Sometimes I went hiking, but my new hobby soon became taking buses to random places, where I ate the most delicious street food out of old newspapers and had more tea.

The week passed quickly and all of the sudden Moritz was there. “So where are we going trekking?” he asks. “Umm, the Annapurna Circuit, I guess.” I reply. The Annapurna Circuit is one of the most popular hikes in Nepal, so I thought it can’t be too hard. How was I mistaken.

A couple of days later I am in Pokhara, a shopping list in my hand. Moritz doesn’t seem to think that we need any special equipment to hike up to 5400 meters, but I am a little more concerned. I rent two sleeping bags, get some rain pants, mittens and hats. I also get a map, just to pretend that we know what we are doing.

Feeling a little bit more prepared, but still worried (at least me) we board the bus to the trail head. Soon we are surrounded by people with detailed plans, staring at their maps, calculating how many hours they got to walk per day. While they are still planning, we decide that the best way to get started is to take the first step. We walk until the sun sets, just being happy to be surrounded by nature. We sleep in a simple clay hut, get up when the sun rises and keep on walking.

A week passes by, we get higher and higher, it’s becoming tougher for me every day while Moritz keeps on running up the mountains like a kangaroo (as Peter, our Australian friend likes to call him). We try to flee from an annoying group of hikers, but we are too slow and they catch up with us every single day.

The the air is starting to get thinner and I feel like I am going to die on these mountains. Every time when I get this feeling in any mountains, some French people save me. This time it is an old French couple who show me that the best way to get up a mountain in slow air is to walk in slow motion. The kangaroo is jumping beside me, happy that we are moving again in whatever speed and we slowly make it up to 5000 meters.

Everybody we meet warns us to sleep at High Camp, which is almost at 5000 meters, but we are young and stupid, so that is of course where we decide to sleep. Having the best night’s sleep of the track we start the steep way up to the pass at 4:30 in the morning.

When we actually reach the pass (5416 m), it feels like a miracle. While the kangaroo is having a great time in the snow, I know that I will never hike up that far again in my life.

Nepal you have challenged us so much and we have fallen in love with you even more. Now there is only India left on our long journey and so soon we will be home.

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micleadd7 · 7 years

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Social media

Just add me on Facebook. Did you see my lunch the other day on Instagram? CleverBets2017 is now following you.You have been added to the whats app group Jeans 40th birthday. I guarantee at some point in the last few years you have all heard these things be you a Twitterer, Facebooker, Instagrammer, whatsapper or otherer (there's always an otherer) the crazy world that is socialising and social media absorbs your daily being, turning you into a mindless scrolling zombie. Flicking from one app to the next without a care in the world. Have we forgotten the days of calling people for a chat in the kitchen because that's where the phone is? looking through pictures you have had developed from holidays gone by? TEXT MESSAGING!? HAVE WE LOST OUR WAY IN A BLUR OF CLICK BAIT ARTICLES, MEMES AND COMMENT SECTIONS ON GROUPS THAT OFFEND THE PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE OFFENDED!! Let's start at the beginning.

Firstly I must point out the thing that makes most of this possible, the enabler of such activity, without it people would sit in a bar by themselves waiting for their friends awkwardly, the smart phone. Iphone/Samsung/Pigeon carrier whatever you are you have the tech literally at your fingertips to engage with anyone anywhere at any point. Bluetooth, 4g, WIfi, order a taxi, order a pizza for the taxi, watch TV, listen to the radio, I mean what is there that your smartphone does not do? What happened to the days of 3 ringtones per phone, polyphonic nonetheless, the genius that was snake, phones that when you dropped them instead of the screen smashing into a thousand pieces you feared for every bone in your foot. Now you have a bing, ding or some other strange noise you've never heard before and that's it, you are taken away into the online world forever, well not forever but at least for the foreseeable.

Ok anyway the beginning, well maybe not the beginning let's not forget Myspace with its click counter and putting your friends in order of who you liked the most. But no the real beginning for me has to be the arrival of Facebook. Facebook changed the boundaries of social etiquette in so many ways. People; be it dates, friends, random weirdos at a party or work no longer exchange phone numbers or show pictures. No no that's no longer necessary, ‘What's your full name?’ That is necessary, and a whole lot simpler to try and guess than a long list of numbers. Yes a person's full name is all you need for a full back catalogue of the last 10 years of anyone's life. Pictures, relationships, family members, age, home town, which spice girl you dressed up as at your local school disco it's all there, waiting for you, willing you to find it! More info than any sane human being should be able to process after 5 minutes of facebook stalking someone. Oh yes that's the other thing, I mean another thing, there are many things. Facebook stalking someone is widely known and accepted. As if this level of intense research into someone's life is any different from actual stalking. Looking through Katies pictures from her trip to Benidorm in 2003, specifically pausing on the bikini clad pics is just as creepy as standing outside her house in the rain hoping to steal a glimpse of her in the shower. Katie if you are reading this you can't prove anything. I guess the difference being is Katie put those pictures on Facebook right? So she wanted people to see them right? Her friends right? In which case she should be ok with her friends waiting outside her window in the rain, trying to get a glance at some sideboob action. Not sure why it has to be raining but it just does.

So what's your name? Add me on facebook. If they are interesting enough you trudge through making opinions on things. The thing is Facebook is a keyhole into someone's life that they want you to see. We all know this yet we all forget it. People (and when I say people I mean everyone) are fabricating whole lives through social media. Informing overs about brilliant family get togethers, forgetting the 16 arguments that occurred on the day and merely commenting on the pictures with everyone smiling. Adding road trip tags about how awesome the journey was even though Dave was asleep the whole way and Nick wouldn't stop farting. Or there's the amazing stays in hotels or brilliant 5 star meals or BBQing with every friend possible… You can forgive people for wanting to only post the most exciting parts of their lives, I do the exact same thing but just once i'd like flick open the app and see:

Katie is thinking about staring at a tree.

It would probably get the same amount of likes anyway!

All that being said there are several scenarios that have grown into the very fabric of FB. Those things that happen which we all know about but either ignore, forget or are apart of. The ground to cover here is vast so I will move quickly;

The sheer anger towards each other in comment sections on a post nobody can even remember after the 45 replies is embarrassing.And it always ends with someone correcting someone else's fucking grammar, And no Michael Jackson isn't just here for the comments and popcorn.

People who re-post nonsense that starts with, ‘Most of your friends won't have the guts to re-post this’ can all suck a bag of dicks.

People who still play games and still send out invites - HOW ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS?

Click bait articles in which you never get the answer to the question posed in the headline which just makes me so mad I want to argue with anyone in the comments section.

When you see people still fraping each other and it depends on your mood as to if it's funny or not that MIke loves huge cocks.

And then there's this;

Saying Happy birthday on your birthday. I kid you not I have both posted happy birthday on a good friend's wall when he changed it for a joke looking like I have no idea when his birthday is and also missed a good friend's birthday because they took it down from Facebook. In fact the alert of someone's birthday on every single morning of every single day reminds me that i'm still friends with that person on here and that I should remove them from my Friends list, HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDEED! I do enjoy the Happy Birthdays on my birthday though, I wonder how many friends I lose on that day. Imagine that last sentence attached to real life, ‘I wonder how many friends I lose on my birthday’. Yeah thanks Facebook.

After all that nonsense there's then the people which I always say I will never be but will never know until I get there, Mums and Dads. The people who feel the need to show their children off to the whole internet every time he/she sneezes. Don't get me wrong, new parents I understand, absolutely, but there's a point where it surely must stop.

So proud of little Tommy here he is on:

His first day at school. 20 likes

At a swimming Gala 30 likes

Riding a bike 35 likes

Sleeping 100 likes.

FUCK OFF, i'm serious. How Is it that parents manage to escape the ability to realise that nobody else on earth is as interested in their child as much as they are. Well apart from the Savilles of the world but surely that's just adding to reasons why little Tommy on a bike should be kept to exactly that. I mean you wouldn't walk up to a stranger in the street and go, hey guy look at my kid in his new school Uniform, you like? Just give me a thumbs up and then tell all your mates to come look and give me a thumbs up as well.

Saying that I want to see pictures of your kids (sounds odd) about as much as I want to see pictures of your dinner. A friend of mine whatsapped me the other month (because nobody texts anymore. You all have that one friend that still texts you and you can't understand why) asking if i'd seen his dinner from the night before. What on earth happened before facebook/Instagram? Did people invite the neighbours over to look at their food before telling them to go away so they could eat it? Stupid thing is if someone stalks me ON FACEBOOK long enough i'm probably guilty of this myself. If like me as well you grew up with facebook when it first became a thing, I was at UNI. Hundreds of pictures of me being drunk and doing stupid things went up over a 3 year period. I was completely oblivious to the concept that my Parents Aunties/Uncles and all relatives may at some point join this network, leaving a huge window into my life open for anyone to see. Adam why are you in a shopping trolley at 6am? At least it's not my dinner!!!

While Facebook was the poster boy for socialising online there were many other apps following suit which had you mindlessly scrolling through smart phones as if other people were simply not in the room. To coin a phrase, does your phone want a drink? If it's not instagram with its crazy hashtags, #blog #tumblr #words #life #trees #Lettuce it's Twitter with well it's crazy hashtags, or SnapChat or Tinder or Fuckafish. I made that last one up but i'll bet if I had a quick look I would find an app for such means, probably endorsed by Bear Grylls.

With all this mindless scrolling going on we venture into the world of whatsapp. Past the causal 1-2-1s you have with your friends where you send constant pictures of yourself smiling like an idiot because you are bored of checking if your twitter post has been retweeted, there's the groups. Not as in Louis got the groups but the groups. You will have a group of friends group, a different group of friends group but with certain friends from the first group in that group, a family group and birthday group, a work group, without that dick from finance, a travelling in the car somewhere that nobody comments in anymore because you went wherever you were going group, a holiday group, a friend's pet group a... you get the picture. Your life is taken over when you wake up to 50 unread messages, mostly because Nick posted a funny meme or Rachel wants the money for the birthday present.You reply as thoroughly as you can copy and pasting Nick's now that you've woken up hilarious meme into several other groups, pleased with the joke stealing laughs you are getting. Even if they all seem to be out loud. You find you have lost hours of the day communicating with people you could have just gone to see.

Further to that time wasting notion the creators then bought you whatsapp.web. Allowing you to have the app on your desktop, a sort of throwback to Messenger but with less smileys in people's titles and no nudge function. Shame on the no nudge function, loved having the feeling of a headache portrayed on a computer. So yes Whats app on your computer. At home. At work more like. With a million and one things to do, you are busy chatting to friends, family members and anyone who wants to listen. Tweeting about something completely unimportant, clicking through picture after picture of a lovely pie and mash or cheese board or a dog's dinner on Instagram only stopping to briefly stalk that girl you met last night on Facebook, she didn't give you her number but that's ok you don't need that. You've got a complete overview of what she's been doing for the last 10 years or so.Hell you don't even need an umbrella, it's not raining in your office.

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rehnro · 7 years

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Instruct a man, you instruct an individual. Instruct a woman, you instruct a nation. (Moroccan proverb)

Checking into Morocco: The trip to Morocco didn’t get off too well when my flight from Munich was delayed the evening before leaving me with only two or three hours of sleep between repacking and a 6am flight from Stansted. It did work out in the end and Ryanair’s service levels didn’t fail to remind that you should not use them unless there is really no alternative. The flight was smooth and we landed a bit ahead of time leaving just the border to clear. Easier said than done. All foreigners have to fill a landing card, but there was zero pens available. So put a smile on and borrow one. Took me 20min in total (good I wasn’t in a rush I guess). Next stop was my rental car. At €50 for the two days plus petrol it seemed a good choice. Avoids having to go the center to get a lift for same or more fare in some dodgy old car. Especially on the way back the additional flexibility should come handy. The funny thing was first that you have to return the car with a quarter of the tank full and secondly cars needs to be clean in and outside. Given the state of the roads to Imlil (base village for Toubkal hikers) this means I need to get a car wash sorted prior to return or just pay some €12 for them to do it (I am certain that this add-on is a firm part of their profit margin ;o).

Getting to Imlil: With data on my BT mobile priced at £5/mb (!) I had little desire to use google maps or any data for that matter. So normal navigation by asking actual people (that don’t speak English all that well) was on the menu. Unusual these days. The signposts were close to useless due to lack of signs or them being all in Arabic. However, a petrol warden drew me a simple map that worked spot on. The 75-80km from Marrakech airport to Imlil to me about 90mins and allowed for a start at 1.15pm.

Hiking up to ‘Refuge du Toubkal‘: I had some bread first given I hadn’t had a proper meal since my Schnitzel at Munich airport last night and got water. Off we go and this time not with a crazy heavy bag, but say 15kg (the new camera & go pro & batteries adding back some of the saved weight from new equipment). Overall it required a moderate 4h 45min total to hike up ~1,500m over 10km distance to reach the refuge at 3,207m. This time I arrived at 6pm and hence before sunset. Many of the people I passed on the way would arrive 2h later or I didn’t see them at all (one English couple/friends I asked if they had torches given their speed would mean they finish in darkness and can end in tears).

The weather looked initially worse than back in December as it was snowing in Imlil already (1,740m altitude). However, not as much gusty wind and no comparison to the rain/snow storm last time. Views were limited to say the least given the precipitation. Most importantly though given the again tight timetable of two days, the forecasts were for fine weather Tuesday am and only little new snow (vs 25cm last time). Next bigger snow is only expected Wednesday pm (10-15cm). It was very cold though closer to the refuge (-10 degrees?) and even my ice climbing gloves didn’t cut the mustard. Good to have mitts as back-up though I will try the Muntain Hardwear ice climbing gloves to start.

Recharging batteries at the refuge: After check-in and some hot tea, I had to rest for a good hour to recoup strength. Been a long day. After a solid dinner (chicken, potato, carrots, soup, bread, tea) it was time to prepare for tomorrow (about 2.2km distance in steep upwards terrrain including just under 1,000m altitude gain to the summit at 4,167m). Breakfast at 6.30am. Not early enough for sunrise, but before the snow gets warm. Most importantly … I hope my watch will fix the navigation aspect this time (having failed miserably once before). The Toubkal route was the first thing I programmed when I got my Suunto Ambit Peak 3 recently.

One tip – don’t forget your passport: A Dutch / Moroccan couple left their passports in their Imlil hotel when they decided to go hiking at short notice. She had to get her mum to confirm passport details or be refused to stay at the refuge. That’s pretty stupid of the refuge people to say the least. You are a refuge for a reason and sending unprepared hikers back down in darkness is only asking for trouble. Not really an issue for international travellers, but be warned still.

Reaching North Africa’s highest peak: After a brief breakfast I set out at 7am. I think only the english bloke who also stayed in my room left earlier (5.30ish). This time I took the correct valley up and since it was daylight already it was hard to miss. Soon after me five Italian ski mountaineers followed suit as well as a British group of three hikers. The snowfall hadn’t been too bad though there was some trail-breaking required on the less frozen parts of the route. Here the Italians on their ski’s had a much faster pace. Weather wise there were some clear patches early on, but soon clouds arrived, wind set in and temperatures dropped well below zero (eventually I had to put on my mitts). The route is pretty much a straight line up te valley until you reach the ridge, which you follow for anothwr 30mins to the summit. My pace was relatively moderate, but steady and I reached the top at 11.30am after 4,5h for the 1,000m altitude gain. Mission accomplished! Both the Italians and the English team beat me to it, but that’s not important (they went to bed after while I felt in strong condition to push all the way down). Thinner air was a headwind while physical fitness was rock solid. After an uneventful 30mins at the summit (for there was little to see unfortunately) and a few refreshments, I made my way back down and reached the refuge 13.45. Parts of the way down you can actually slide on your bum and I once more appreciated the GPS on my Suunto that gave confidence even when visibility dropped to 5-10m.

Get me out of here! My desire to spend more time at the refuge (I had considered lunch) dropped significantly when I realised that ‘someone’ had opened the two dry bags I left behind (probably the same guy that charged me €2 for one cup of tea!). Nothing was missing (I took my money with me), but it’s just sad. I did let the guys know that this not cool, but the response only I got was that i should have put my stuff in (their) locker. Very helpful. This and the rip-off culture of Marrakesh really leave a bad image of Morocco (I have been advised since that outside Marrakesh its much better). By 2pm I was back on the trail, which remained largely snow-covered and new snow kept on coming. Without a single stop (apart from a few conversations with hikers heading up) it took 3h back to the car in Imlil.

Lost in Marrakesh: Driving the 80km back were uneventful. Life got a little trickier when I drove into the city center without a map or clue (still without mobile data). I found a parking space near the great square and took it gladly (€7/night were a rip-off, but I didn’t care after 10hours hiking and two hours driving today). Then quickly across the bazar and into the medina (old town) to hopefully find the Cafe Arabic that firstly sells a much desired cold beer (otherwise really hard to come by) and secondly has decent wi-fi. The latter was important as I still needed a place to sleep (it was 8.30pm by now). The issue is to find your way round the medina. Not even google maps works here. After trying my luck alone I ended up tipping a guy to get me there. Within 30mins I had my beer, spaghetti carbonara, booked a great hostel nearby and had caught up with events. Prices in this cafe are very much like home (i.e. expensive), food quality very average and the guests almost exclusively expats and tourists. But its nice and a welcome refuge from the craze of the buzzing markets. From there the maze continued and I needed one more guy to get me to the hostel (I paid him €4 to do so … so pretty much like an ‘Uber’ minimum fare (£5 in London) or a 15min taxi ride to the airport (MAD40) … but he wasnt happy still!).

Quality time at Equity Point Hostel: I checked in around 9pm. The value deal was for €9/night including breakfast. Respect though I would miss breakfast that is only served 8am to 10am. As most places in the old town, the building looks rather shabby from the outside. Once you get in, you’ll find plenty of space, a pool, a roof top and a bar (even showing Champions league with City beating Monaco 5:3 & selling drinks). The best thing about hostels is that you usually meet people and equity point didn’t let me down. After a quick shower I met 4 of my 6 room mates in the bar. On one hand two brothers from New Zealand (not that I would have guessed, Nico and Deniro?). Nico is an engineer involved in the new Tottenham stadium (to make some money for the next travel I gathered) and the other a lawyer who is about to start a 6mth job with HSBC in Hong Kong. They had managed to get hold of two local coats from €35 each today and now blended in well into the streets of Marrakesh. On the other there were two French girls who are teachers as I understood and just spent 3 weeks working in Southern Morocco (Clo & Julie). Over a few bottles of wine we touched probably on every main topic there is. Politics (in Europe, US and even NZ), refugees, religion, backgrounds (the brothers have been travelling a lot over the years), favorite travel destinations, socialism vs capitalism, Australian binge drinking and aggression, global warming, London’s drug culture (list not exhaustive by any means!) … you name it! One of the brothers had trekked to Everest base camp in January this year and so we had a good amount of chat on mountains and Nepal too. Loved every moment and really hope our paths’ will cross again!

The three arabic words I picked up …

‘BsaHa’ – cheers / May god give you health

‘Jamal’ = Camel

‘Djellaba’ – Traditional Berber robe (what the two kiwi’s wear in the picture)

Key takeaways: Visit this place in central turkey (I forget the name Clo ;o), Brasil (Julie lived there for a year also teaching i believe), New Orleans (best nightlife ever according to Nico), don’t work for Australian farmers (they rip you off apparently though farm work doubles the length of your stay I learned), take a solar charger to Nepal and buy a local SIM.

After six hours sleep and an actually painless transfer to the airport (I even had time to get the car washed … out of principle) it was time to say good-bye. I guess I have to come back to see the ‘other Morocco’ one day.

وداعا

(‘wadaeaan’ – goodbye)

Morocco’s cold shoulder: Climbing Jebel Toubkal Instruct a man, you instruct an individual. Instruct a woman, you instruct a nation. (Moroccan proverb)

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fangirlmomentsandmytwocents · 7 years

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