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#now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
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thedamageofherdays · 3 years
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This week's [23-08-2021 - 29-08-2021] reading log is here! I read a lot again this week and I feel like it's a lovely variety of fics. Most fics are Stucky like usual, but there's at least one other ship. I am constantly amazed by the talent people have in this fandom! There was one fic I read on Tumblr that I can't seem to find unfortunately, but when I do I'll make sure to reblog and rec it 💕
Favourites are marked with a 🌻
When life gives you lemons by moonthejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 40k words, Mature] (12/15 chapters available)
Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade
Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.
Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.
The Masseur and the Assassin by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy @buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 17k words, Explicit]
Bucky Barnes needed a vacation from his job. What he found was a happy ending.
The Words Breathe by buckbarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]
All Steve has to do is keep his promise. When he doesn’t, Bucky gets mouthy.
Soft by this_wayward_life @wayward-lives [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]
The last time he'd seen Bucky he'd looked unhealthy, with pallid skin and greasy, lanky hair. Now, Bucky shone; his hair was thick and silky, his skin a deep bronze from spending so much time outside. He was softer, too; the hard muscle that used to cover him was now replaced by soft fat, his body still strong, but in a more mundane way. His thighs were thicker, his ass plumper, and when he'd pulled Steve into the river Steve had noticed the pudge on his stomach.
Seeing Bucky so happy, well-fed and shining, was a bit of a kick in the face. For all the years they'd known each other, he'd never seen Bucky so... care-free. Now that Bucky was putting on weight, his middle soft and his body malleable, it sent a bolt of arousal through Steve every time he noticed the curves of Bucky's body.
Or: Bucky put on a bit of weight in Wakanda, and Steve is Not Coping.
🌻 Revive Another Side of Me by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]
Steve’s never lived in a world without Bucky, and he’s not living now. It takes them a while, much too long, to get that awaited rest, a little slice of peace after the dust has settled.Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are inseparable, history remembers. But they’re not men of the past quite yet.
🌻 imagine being loved by me by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]
Just after 1am - a few hours after he posted today’s photo - he hears the tell-tale sound of a twitter message. Bucky grabs his phone, not checking who it’s from as he opens it because it’s probably one of his mutuals yelling at him as per usual. When he actually looks at his phone, though, it’s not Natasha
The ‘verified’ check stares back at him for a long moment before he can even bring himself to process the name on his screen. Steve Rogers is messaging him. Or, he reasons, a very good fake. The handle looks right though, not that Bucky knows. Not that Bucky has Captain’s America’s tweets set up as notifications, or that Bucky’s own display name is set to captain america’s bitch. Not at all.
Hey, the first message says. It’s Steve.
🌻 JB’s Complete Lube Services by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]
People just didn’t approach Captain America and proposition him. Although, sometimes Steve wished they would; even the pinnacle of virtue and justice needed to get dicked down from time to time.
Or, the one where Steve has the hots for a mechanic and decides to be proactive in getting that dick.
If it had to be someone by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]
Bucky had known since he was a child that he didn’t have a choice in who he married, but he’d thought he had more time before the day arrived.
Miscalculations by christywantspizza @christywantspizza [Ransom Drysdale/Reader, 6k words, Explicit]
Ransom tries to get you to sleep with him by less than honorable means. You give him what he wants, just not how he wants it.
How to Seduce a Writer by obsessivereader [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]
What's a determined master strategist going to do when the oblivious writer he's trying to woo keeps missing all the clues?
He doesn’t think it’s because he hadn’t signaled his own interest to Bucky. He’s pretty much done everything short of hitting Bucky over the head with semaphore flags by this point. There’s no way Bucky could’ve missed them. Unless… There’d been that one link he’d stumbled upon when he’d googled ‘how to talk to a writer’. It’d been written by a writer, who’d been candid about how oblivious writers could be, and how someone could go about seducing one. An idea starts to form. It’s ridiculous, but at this point, he’s willing to go with ridiculous, since subtle wasn’t getting him anywhere.
🌻 Pod Bless America by Deisderium @deisderium [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]
Bucky can't believe his favorite podficcer recorded his newest fanfic AU of the show Commandos. He's even more surprised when the customer who busts him listening to fic while he's working in the office supply store turns out to be that podficcer.
* The guy—maybe bi_shield?—took his phone, looked down at the screen, and smiled. "Yeah, that one's mine," he said with no evidence of embarrassment. "It was a good one." He handed the phone back to Bucky.
"I wrote it," Bucky croaked.
take a bite by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 7k words, Mature]
"I’d never let anyone freeze to death.” Steve gives a big sigh and flutters his lashes. “All that blood gone to waste.”
Bucky’s lips turn down and his nose scrunches up a little. “I want to be grossed out, but…”
“But you get it.” Steve gives him a pointed look. “Vampires aren’t the only ones who can appreciate how juicy blood is.”
*
Or: Vampire Steve saves newly-turned werewolf Bucky from a snowstorm.
Leaving the Shield Behind by BuckyAboveEverything [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]
“So, on one hand, we have Steve Rogers - hunk, genius, animal lover. Buys you waffles and overpriced coffee. 100% wholesome all-American boy.”
“And, on the other hand, we have Capsicle – twink, smart-ass, fanboy. Reads your stories and sends you fanart. Possibly a pervert or a serial killer.”
Bucky groaned.
“I am 100% certain I am 0% sure of what to do."
Bucky Barnes, full-time copywriter and free-time fanfic writer, struggles to choose between two equally-attractive suitors, only to find that he doesn’t have to after all.
* Based on a true story *
Cap's Book Corner by Neche [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]
Recluse Author Bucky Barns stumbles into fanboy Steve Rogers bookstore one day...
Cat Nap by galwednesday @galwednesday [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]
Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority.
Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back.
at any given moment by honeypuffed [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]
Steve and Bucky find out that everyone thinks they're sleeping together.
Brought to Brightness by eyres [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]
Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.
When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.
🌻 Nokken Wood by leveragehunters @leveragehunters [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]
When Sam's friend needs a house-sitter for his place in the country, Steve jumps at the chance. Six months rent-free to do nothing but draw and paint and wander the countryside, looking for inspiration? It was like a dream. But when he gets lost in a storm and nearly falls into a pond he starts to rethink the whole like a dream aspect of life in the country. And when a red-eyed, sharp-clawed, silver-fanged creature rises out of the darkness, Steve is one hundred percent certain the dream's morphed into a nightmare.
...until it gives him a cup of tea.
(Inspired partly by this prompt a supernatural creature is supposed to scare you but instead it gives you a cup of tea and a blanket because you're having a bad day and you keep coming back and partly by this painting.)
Professional Pride by galwednesday [Stucky, 700 words, Teen]
Bucky is having a very good day, until he turns around and finds himself face-to-face with Captain America.
“Oh shit,” he blurts before he can stop himself, and Captain America blinks at him. “Hey, hi, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Here, at New York’s Pride parade, surrounded by thousands of happy screaming people wearing rainbows and sometimes not much else. What is he doing here? Is he on guard duty or something? Was he just on a mission and happened to be passing by on his way back?
He’s in uniform but with the cowl loose around his neck, so when he rubs the back of his head it fluffs up his matted hair. “I, uh. I saw one of your–temporary tattoos?” Captain fucking America says, like it’s a question.
The A-bridged Guide to Trolling by galwednesday [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]
“I don’t have any money.”
Oh no, now the girl looked upset. Her eyes were huge and her lip was wobbling. Bucky tried to think fast despite the oh shit oh shit oh shit looping through his head.
“That’s okay,” Bucky said gently. “I don’t need money. We can figure out another kind of toll.”
The girl frowned at him. “Like what?”
Bucky scratched his head, trying to think of something a kid was certain to have on hand. “Do you know any jokes?”
(Fantasy AU in which Steve is a hedge witch with a green thumb, Bucky is a bridge troll who's new in town, and knock-knock jokes are a viable form of currency.)
It's a bittersweet ending (if you know what I mean) by relenafanel [Stucky, 1k words, Teen]
“I’ll see you around, Steve,” Bucky answers with a smirk, moving away from the counter with a wink.
Steve watches him go. Bucky’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans coated in something to give the appearance of leather. It’s impossible to not watch him go.
stuck on you by wearing_tearing [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]
“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”
Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.
Decision-Making in Relationships (Paid Research Opportunity!) by castiowl [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]
Clint looked thoughtfully at the flyer. “I guess your actual roommate wouldn’t be down with it?”
Bucky frowned. “Have you met Steve Rogers?”
no way out but through by hollimichele [Stucky, 9k words, Teen]
Steve never sees it coming.
you got blood on your hands (and i know it's mine) by nighimpossible [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]
Bucky refuses to see Steve after his deprogramming.
Like What You See by daisymondays [Stucky, 8k words, Teen]
For all the time Bucky’s spent fantasizing about meeting Captain America, he’d never imagined it would be while posing nude in front of a drawing class.
🌻 A Real Boy by itsnotbleak [Stucky, 5k words, Teen]
It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat.
It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.
Amapola by chaya [Stucky, 830 words, Teen]
Total fluff. Bucky's recovering nicely. Steve's oblivious. Sometimes it's best to set aside subtlety for action.
Knocking Boots With Sugar by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]
In between summers at college, Steve Rogers wants a new adventure beyond his lonely life in Brooklyn. He ends up in West Texas working on a dude ranch where Bucky Barnes is a long-time employee. When Bucky offers to buy Steve a drink, they end up drunk on tequila and making out in public. For the rest of the summer, they're inseparable. As the summer draws to a close, Steve realizes he doesn't want to leave.
Rogers and Associate by roe87 @jro616 [Stucky, 7k words, Teen]
When they first meet, Bucky is a hooker and Steve is a cop. She's been arrested, but Steve lets her off.
Years pass and they maintain a casual friendship, seeing each other out on the streets most nights.
Though he later makes detective, Steve loses faith in the system and quits his job.
He wants to set up as a private investigator, and he asks Bucky if she'd be his assistant.
Just in time by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 1k words, Mature]
Bucky knew the apartment he was renting was old fashioned, but walking in the front door and finding himself transported back to 1938 was not on the list of things he had prepared himself for.
🌻 You Like What's in My Head by dontcallmebree [Stucky, 15k words, Explicit] (with art by @kocuria)
Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s a tough nut to crack or incredibly easy. The timbre of his voice, a low and almost amused, “Sure, kid,” when Bucky asks for a drink feels like something gripping him on the back of his neck.
He thinks this might be one of those moments in life he’ll pinpoint in the future and either curse at for dooming himself, or remember fondly with pride.
He’s right. Bucky Barnes blunders through falling in love with Commander Rogers and tries to find a deeper meaning behind the expensive gifts and thorough fucking.
Can I Sit Here? by BuckyFrickenBarnes [Stucky, 962 words, General]
Bucky has unusual methods for getting rid of his writer's block.
Or, Bucky needs that table.
Workplace Romance by BuckyFricken Barnes [Stucky, 1k words, General]
Bucky is under the impression that his boss hates him.
Or,
Steve needs to get better at dealing with his feelings.
🌻 1-800-MAYTAG by Miss Plum @misspluckyplum [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]
Bucky just wants to get some housework done. It gets out of hand fast. Silly little fluff and smut romp with snarky stucky boys.
Eyes of the Forest by Lordelannette [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit] (2/8 chapters available)
When Omega Bucky Barnes comes to Eagle Lake, it was in search of wolves, a creature that had not been seen in the area for decades.
What he finds instead is Steve Rogers, a handsome, though quiet Alpha who seems to be everywhere in the forest.
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bobbystompy · 4 years
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68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019
Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.
1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.
John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’
New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould
2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”
3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz
4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert
5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez
6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”
7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release
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8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’
9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”
10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey
11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex
12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party
13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!
A Super Bowl winning exchange.
14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".
Belichick disagreed with it.
Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.
Another Super Bowl winning exchange.
15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur
16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad
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17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)
18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”
19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell
20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]
Me: Check out this song I just wrote
[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]
Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass
-- @seanoneal
21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World
22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman
23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’
There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins
24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita
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25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale
26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy
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27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert
28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’ 
Yes tf I am
People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”
29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp
30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary
31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom
32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were: 
‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”
- @Authoroux
33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully
34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones
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35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers
36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]
Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.
-- Modern Family
37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil
38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”
39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham
40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher
41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.
-- Blink-155
42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”
43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation
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44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’
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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos
46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”
47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”
48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’
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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)
50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham
51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign
52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes
53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019
54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”
55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson 
56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi
57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else
58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary
59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family
60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace
61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country
62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso
63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end
64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.
65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical
66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]
"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking
67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman
68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks
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