#now they can go for a nice drive

[humming-fly]

Theatre Kid (Derogatory)

#I had some fun on my most recent plane flight and figured I'd give it some color #the great thing about the king in yellow is i can and will draw him completely different every time #and that is 100% in character #if you draw an eldrich madness god the same way twice it's missing the point let chaos reign #was originally just gonna be the lefthand sketch colored in #but the colors alone actually looked pretty nice so you can enjoy those too #malevolent #malevolent podcast #the king in yellow #my art #doodles #I actually wasn't planning on making the bug mandible crown going into this it just sort of happened which I enjoy #lot of centipede/earwig vibes going on with the guy #something something crawls in your ear and drives you mad #anyways here's my one nice art post of this character now I can move on to shitposts guilt-free #i guess there's one other thing I wanna draw that isn't quite shitposty but it sort of is jury's out #we'll see if i get to it lol

[cerise-on-top]

Can I please request Ghost with a s/o who is very comforting and protective over HIM?!? Like I love seeing Cod characters protecting and being the readers shoulder to cry on, even if they know you can handle yourself, but I wanna comfort my boy ♥️♥️♥️

Hey! Of coure you can! I really enjoyed this request, thank you very much! I'm just very soft for Simon, but I think that much has become obvious by now, haha!

Ghost with a Comforting and Protective Reader

More so than anything, he’d be surprised. He’s 1,95m tall, muscular and brooding. And yet here you are putting his face in your hands, calling him the most handsome man you’ve ever met. It’s not unwelcome, just not something he ever thought he’d have in his life. He expected to be the big, scary protector of his partner for the rest of his life, but having someone want to take care of him like that? Don’t get me wrong, it feels nice, but it also feels somewhat weird to him. He should be the big scary guard dog. While he may not be good with feelings, either his or those of others, he could always lend a listening ear. And yet you kiss his scars, reassure him that you will always stay by his side, no matter what and will tuck him into bed even. At first he doesn’t trust any of this, thinking you to be too nice to him, but eventually he’ll realize that there are no ulterior motives, that you are just like that towards him. And after some time, he’ll start melting into you, growing to trust you more and more each day. Simon would become a bit softer with you, would walk through fire just so he can see you smile. But you reassure him that no such thing is necessary. He may not ever be sure when it would be appropriate for you, but he’d come to crave your touch more and more as time goes on, even going as far as trapping you in the most tender hug he can muster. Sometimes he fantasizes about laying his head in your lap with you playing with his hair a bit, but he wouldn’t admit to such out loud since he still has his pride. You being protective over him would also be weird to him. He can handle himself just fine, so why are you getting mad at the cashier for the pickle in his burger? Why are you arguing with the drunkard wanting to start a fight with him? He won’t know what to do, no one’s ever protected him from anything ever since he was a little child. It would warm his heart a bit and make him appreciate you even more. Sure, he can do just fine on his own, but he’d be lying if he said his heart wouldn’t skip a beat whenever you’re being protective over him. If he could, he’d just pick you up bridal style and carry you home, but you’re in public so he’ll only think about how much he wants to be your little spoon this entire time. He’ll let his guard down around you and show you that he, too, can be a softer guy underneath his rough exterior with in the most domestic ways out there. He’ll think about marrying you immediately once he’s aware that he’s essentially become a softer man thanks to you. But he’ll wait still until he’s sure you’re on board as well.

#cod #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #I think about cuddling the big guy more than I would like to admit in all honesty #he's so far from my type I don't know why I've taken such a liking to him but to me he's a very nice man :-) #now it's also certain that soon enough I will get my driver's license! I registered today! #those are gonna be rough two weeks but I'll have it soon and then I can drive wherever I want to go! #that'll be so awesome I'm so excited! #anyway whenever I see Ghost I get this unexplainable urge to hug him even if I don't think he'd be the best hugger out there #but it would be a very comforting hug. he's huge and he's strong as well. plus he'd be warm too #I would literally fight someone just so I can see this man smile I want him to be happy so so bad #he's my blorbo and I will gently shake him and enrich his environment with a 3DS #he can play Pokemon on it! and viva pinata! #I wanna play SDV with that guy so so bad!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While #you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive! #but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot #and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book #i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive #im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings #by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it! #life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that #its so nice to drive and actually see things #beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography... #instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather. #i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive #absolutely unprompted #i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts! #and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect! #now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage #ive Earned It! #you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing! #you're here today! Yippee! indulge! #im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works! #my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!

[solarpunkani]

Ok fuck it you know something I've never really quite understood about part of the Leftist vs Liberals debate on voting.

So so so many people act like its either-or. Like you're either dedicating your entire life to voting and promoting politicians and phone banking or whatever, or you're a True Rebel waiting for The Uprising to Come and Solve Everything.

But like. In my experience. Me voting is just me kinda go 'which person seems kinda good? Which one at least sucks the least? ok lemme go vote.' and then its anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour tops of my life. And I still have plenty of time to do Stuff and participate in Conversations about Other Important Things. And also you can admit and acknowledge and understand that the system As Is kinda sorta really sucks ass, but also still admit and acknowledge and understand that at this current point in time we are still living in the suckass system and do something to alleviate the suckass At Least A Little while also working to bolster/create/advocate for Other Systems.

I guess just like. it's not a black or white thing. Between 'top 500 volunteers for a specific politician/voting office/etc' and 'absolutely positively not voting at all' there is a gray area called 'vote and then just do other stuff'.

#out of queue #ani rambles #ani rant #now hang on its time to acknowledge my Privilege(TM) #the first few times I ever voted for anything I was in college and the student center was a voting center #so asides from waiting in a long (~30 minute tops bc early vote) line to get in I didn't have to do a big drive or anything #and at my house there's a voting center thats a like 5 minute drive from my place or a 10 minute drive depending on what election it is #and im ablebodied and have a open (read: jobless) schedule so I can Just Go for the most part #i live in a City so there's probs lots of voting centers at churches and libraries and all across town too #but like. some people act like people saying Hey Go Vote Plz are screaming like #'if you don't donate 200 dollars and 4+ weeks of your time to canvassing and calling and volunteering you are RUINING AMERICA' #when at least from what I've seen its just like. 'can you maybe go fill in a bubble on a Scantron so people like me don't Die Faster.' #also there's early voting and mail-in voting and all that jazz like yeah the current system makes it harder to vote but theres still W AYS #you don't gotta pull up at 6am on Election Day Tuesday yknow? #if i get blasted for this remember as I was: happy and rambling at 3am about greenhouses and solarpunk stuff #plz be nice i beg k bye

[thefrogdalorian]

All settled and comfy to spend this fine Sunday afternoon catching up and reply to all the kind things you lovely lot have said to me over this past week!!

I have been lurking every so often, but I've been uncharacteristically busy which made too tired whenever I got some time to myself to properly engage on the hellsite. This week has been such an emotional rollercoaster, I was so stressed before my driving test and then my emotions did a complete 180 when I passed!

But I really appreciate the sweet messages and I would never want anyone to ever feel ignored! If you spend a little time interacting with me I treasure that human connection and effort you made and I want to give that back to you. So I cannot wait to catch up with everything I've missed aaaaaaah.

I am looking forward to normal service being resumed this week... aka rotting in my room and yelling into the online void about a tin can man!

#spud rants #personal #being busy and having a life was nice for a few days and i expect i'll go out more now i can drive but honestly i much prefer being a hermi #and i barely had time to write either UGH #but i will have all the time this week #and a new din oneshot which i meant to finish for sw day but didnt quite manage it should be coming tonight!!! very soft domestic bliss #im excited to share it!!!

[hella1975]

my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be

me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha

#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience #basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night #where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything #it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young #and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again #but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good #and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get #it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough #and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced #i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up #and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it #and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN #TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY #and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it #im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday #what is even going on anymore #also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do #actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk #and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd #i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3 #hella goes home

[milflewis]

.

#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it #my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with #and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l #lovely? #bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am #glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone #since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life #he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even #harder now. in others he is easier. #he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken #about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better #my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he #hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his #personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the #nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off #he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he #still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay #long when you call in to see her? #whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael. #not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart #i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him

[floral-hex]

hi it’s my birthday tomorrow

#had to redo this since someone left a comment that bummed me out a lot #well… didn’t HAVE to but I didn’t like seeing the notification #guess I could have just deleted their comment… shit… didn’t think about that #hey uhhhh please don’t be mean to me about my birthday. I’m just a sad lil guy 🥺 #I already dislike my birthday. I hate feeling older. like I’m wasting my life. #it’s already usually an afterthought since it’s Christmas Eve #but with my mom’s surgery it’s even more of an afterthought and I’m so stressed and I have to take care of my bros and I’m just not great 😬 #like… what do I even want to do tomorrow? #I’d love to just sleep in and eat junk and maybe go see a movie #but I have to go drive 40 minutes to see my mom and if I try to cut the visit short I’ll just feel guilty #so… I guess I’m spending my birthday watching my mom shake and cry in pain 🤷🏻‍♂️ #which can be okay! I mean not okay but I can 100%… well… 85% live with that. it’s okay. it’s just a day. #but fuck does it hurt when people just ignore it or downplay it or make jokes about my birthday this year #people don’t have to care about my birthday. strangers online don’t have to care. it’s whatever. #and I’m not even mad at anyone in particular. I just… yeah.. I just can’t take negative jokes about it right now. #I’m trying not to be specific! I don’t want to be mean! nobody is being mean to me! it’s okay! #im just a sensitive baby that just wants people to be nice to him for the next 24 hours #…. I’m sad! #I think I’ll just be mean to everyone tomorrow #…. lol like I could do that. pfffttt I’ll bend over backwards for my family and I’ll be glad to do it. mostly. #it’ll be okay #days are 24 hours. I’m sure I can squeeze some good stuff in between the bad. that’s life babyyyy #and I love you and I appreciate you to no one in particular and I’m sorry I’m so sensitive #my mutuals are great #you’re all great. unless you aren’t. but we won’t talk about that. #ok you can ignore this #text

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

forgor to put something really expensive and cool on my wishlist for my weirdly money-having relatives that forget we exist unless they’re buying christmas presents (we don’t even do christmas lmao) or trying to convert us to christianity (we’re too cynical for religion lmao. it just doesn’t stick) so for christmas i got 10 usb drives. yippee. i’m going to keep 10 copies of my tumblr blog and all the fanfic i’ve saved and all the things i’ve totally legally downloaded so that i can keep them around the house and on my body at all times

#this is bc i’m paranoid btw. if u even care #like a month or so ago i was freaking the fuck out bc i was convinced the internet would go down and i would never be able #to access a bunch of things and i became convinced that i needed to download all the fic on ao3 to keep safe #and download all the copies of every book i’ve ever loved. and my digital art #and then print them all out and keep them in a hoard and have usb drives just in case #like i was lost in the sauce lmao #but at least i wasn’t convinced i was dying that time #so i see no reason not to carry out this plan #i should get money so i can buy a self-sustaining house in the woods and live as a hermit who hoards things and never leaves ever #ah fuck. wait no. shit. ugh #i can’t do that bc i will be giving in and becoming just like my stupid awful horrible relatives #ugh. is paranoia and the instinct to become a conspiracy-driven hermit something that can run in a family #bc i have multiple cases. they aren’t even related!! i have it in both sides. ah shit. now i’ve gotta break the curse or smth #nvm them. i will live not in the woods and i will hoard my things in a nice space near people so i don’t lose touch with reality #take that thing that overcomes my family members one by one and makes them live in the woods and become paranoid of everything

[ghosts-of-love]

yo anyone wanna come to a national trust place with me today? 🍁🍂

#in spirit that is #idk ive been in this town for a year and i have work friends and i have the people i live with but i want to try to make more friends #that i can casually hang out with #i also feel like i should get better at doing stuff alone too without feeling bad that i didnt ask my friends/housemates to come #there's like two people who i can think to ask but they are both probably busy and also it would mean i have to commit to actually going #to this national trust place #which j found out is only a 15 minute drive #i should just go #sorry feeling weird about friendships #i think i tend to love a few people very deeply and so then im not good at having friends where j can be like hey wanna hit up this abbey #idk things are weird with my housemates at the moment #new person moved in . the other two are allegedly going to break up any second now but also keep banging loudly in the room next to mine #its weird and im kind of miserable in the house but happy in all other aspects of my life #like work is hesitantly going good im reading again im crocheting my hair looks nice #this turnef into a whole thing now sorry #props to you if you kept reading this long #anyway this is why i desperately want to get out of the house

[dirt-str1der]

Yaoi has poisoned all of your fucking brains !!

#Yakuza HATEblog #i dont want to hear about the new yakuza trailer where kiryu proposed to soemone he wouldnnever do that thats so scary #also they refered to sayama as the cop lady like please show some respect to her she didnt be annoying for you to forget her #ive become homophobic now because i hated seeing a particular post so much like that will never happen you are crazy #like no this isnt how kzmj can win they have never even once considered a future together because kiryus foreplanning ended when he lost #his brother and majima has spent half her life waiting for saejima to come back like they have more important things to worry about #and kiryu is not able to share his kids with anybody he cant simultaneously raise haruka with someone he has to either be a single dad or an #absent dad no in between and sometimes haruka is left parentless in the middle of that mess but its not kiryus problem hes driving cars amd #beating people up .... well he does care sorry for insinuating he doesnt ... he thinks about his kids every day #but i guarantee you he does not think about majima every day i swear it to you he does not care about her that much !!! i have to forever #stress this doesnt mean that he hates majima but it simply means that shes not his priority AND SHE WILL NEVER BE !!! kiryu will never #risk it all just for a suckle on that majiwilly like he doesnt like her that much ... if kiryu didnt even give majima so much as a phonecall #when he was ignoring her the entirety of y3 AFTER tossing her back to the wolves just so he can play house at okinawa.. hes not going to #suddenly realise that he wants to spend the rest of his life with majima hes going to be pondering how miserable he is while beating the #fuck out of people because sorry i didnt actually pay attention to the gaiden stuff is kiryu a hitman now or some sort of mercenary either #way its so hot that hes paralleled by y0 majima because hes so depressed and wants to kill himself and forced to wear a nice suit and do #things he doesnt want to while being kept on a tight leash like hohooho ... have sex with me ...!!! #im going to kill him myself to put him out of his misery if i have to ... just let kiryu run off to america and join the cia im kidding but #wait i just thought of him actually running off and sayama pulling some strings in the force to keep people from looking for him because #shes like a bigshot cop now ... i think she should be able to cradle him gently and keep him like a show cat #a shivering wet penis in the rain and she takes him in and gives him a loving home ... i feel a little embarrassed talking about hetships #but the concept of kiryu just being in her house and living with her is making me laugh like wow ... hes straight now.... like obviously hes #still not going to be like lets get married 🥰 but sayama would want to... i believe that she could forge their documents so kiryu isnt an #illegal immigrant anymore and she gives him an american name so john yakuza can become real ... its like a fake dating au but they really #arent dating theyre just having sex and acting out scenes from a kdrama but eventually kiryu will have to go back because hes so sad #without his kids and he needs to see them one last time to pass away peacefully. sorry i just remembered how much older kiryu was than #sayama like thats a bit funny ... like i still think kiryu should be into older guys or girls but like we cant always have that happen #like how majimas options for getting fucked by creepy old guys are getting lesser year by year because those old geezers keep dying and hes #old now too ... like theyre so old thats fucked. i know ive been saying how kzmj can never win but i do think majima should breastfeed kiryu

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 2

"HeatStroke" by KaiL Baxley

#song of the day #late for May 2nd but I have unfortunately napped in precisely the wrong way and blended these two days #so I'm about to have a 10:00am meeting and I'm looking forward to it ending so I can go to sleep until my 4:00pm meeting #I will unfortunately have to set an every-thirty-minutes alarm so I can check my work laptop for messages/emails/etc #but fortunately I can and do and will do that in my sleep no problem #this is a really good song and it's been playing itself out in my head (final chorus to outro to hey-nah-nahs) #since I answered the album ask earlier #I heard 'Boy Got It Bad' by KaiL Baxley in 2014 and absolutely loved it. excellent crooning voice very smooth good vibrations #and then I didn't hear anything else from the artist for ages until I don't even remember why but I looked on bandcamp #picked up the album on a Bandcamp Friday and damn it's good #excellent drive to this song. nice quick pulse and still that good smooth voice. absolutely lovely #'coast to coast we're working up a heatstroke / marked for death I had him from the get-go #take your chance now come on won't you get some / don't wait too long now don't wait too long'

[priestfrommidnightmass]

he could absolutely break my heart eventually. and i genuinely couldn’t care less

#god this whole thing drives me so crazy because like #i’m not constantly thinking abt when it’s going to be over and how it’ll end and all that like i usually do #of course i overthink and shit sometimes but most of the time #i’m able to remember the things he’s Actually said and done for me and not the things i’m scared he Could say. and i feel better #maybe i’ve said this before but recently i was trying to recall if there was even a single moment where he’d ever like #hurt my feelings or made me feel bad no matter how intentionally or unintentionally it was #and i literally couldn’t think of a single moment where he’d ever hurt me #so of course because i’m me i have to acknowledge there’s a Chance he could hurt me #and i like him so much that if that did happen it would probably really really upset me #but honestly i’m at a place right now where i don’t Care. and it’s crazy #i don’t care if he Could possibly break my heart eventually #because all i’m able to think of everytime i’m with him or talking to him is just how fucking great it feels #i can’t tell if this is any actual personal growth in me because just like #in general i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way abt anyone. it’s so dire #it’s so DIRE. #okay i’ll be quiet now but i’m just like #i don’t know. i just don’t feel negatively abt our relationship at all it just feels so Nice #not even any lingering paranoia can get in the way of how strongly i feel abt it #even if he’s not interested in me romantically whatsoever #he’s still one of the greatest and most supportive friends i’ve ever had and it’s. it’s really good #okay now i’m done

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit #and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While #like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days #we shall see #also ajr live fucks severely #the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience #like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad #like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go #so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times #notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with #and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what #idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath #much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck #so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb #the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares. #however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least #meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion #prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got #taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert #so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school #and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player #and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap #like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible #which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up. #the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow #her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated #like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most #and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills. #like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard #fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice #and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me #and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also #and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then #and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬 #but now i really wish i'd taken that interview #i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday #so i wont literally have to take time off for it #and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early #either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something #but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol #but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no #compared to a few months later #they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good #idkkk #my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break #the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate #but i literally dont care its such a better working environment #and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months #and the work will be so much easier #and the commute #and i Definitely know i can work with my friend #vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly #anyway!! #im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now #but i really hope they give me another chance #also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol #this has been a shitpost

[inkybinkyboink]

today i rented a guitar.

#i think im worried about going into a bad headspace again this summer because summer is kind of a tricky time for that #i dont like not being at school #i think i always need to be doing something #so i rented a guitar from the music store and im going to attempt to learn over the summer #i was noodling around for like an hour and it sounds so relaxing #ive been “playing” ukulele for a few years now and its a lot trickier than ukulele because there's more strings but knowing how its mapped #out from already knowing how a ukulele works is super helpful #its nice having something to work on for the next little while #but im more excited about the prospect of just having been able to do that #like i walked into the store and went “i wanna rent a guitar” and the dude was like “how old r u” and i went “twenty" #and then i filled out the paperwork and now i just have a guitar #and it only cost like 20 bucks #thats so cool to me #idk i guess they're just little things that remind me that being an adult is scary but it can also be kind of fun? you kind of realize that #when everyone else tells you that you have free will now it doesnt just mean being able to drive whereever you want whenever you want #it means being able to rent things and stuff too #and having the authority to say “i would like to do this” and being totally allowed to do it (within ethical boundaries ofc ofc 😌😌😌) #its like...deeper than the kind of rebelliousness of driving past midnight or getting tattoo or driving to a bar #its a weird sense of control thats oddly reassuring #delete later probably #tig rants