#on courage and what comes after

[godsopenwound]

Derrick Jensen, A Language Older Than Words

#just started reading it and i’m already soo in loveee with thisss please #derrick jensen #a language older than words #m #on courage and what comes after

[sunny12th]

Paul Eluard, “Victory for Guernica”, Selected Poems (bilingual ed. trans. Gilbert Bowen) // Fyodor Mikhaylovich Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment // Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird // Paul Eluard, “No More Alone”, Selected Poems (trans. Gilbert Bowen) // Nikita Gill, More Notes on Survival // To Be Alive, Gregory Ott // Road to Hell (reprise), Hadestown // Sweet, Charles Bukowski // Anäis Nin

#on hope #a dream of spring #web weaving #parallels #compilations #quotes #on courage and what comes after #mine #words

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

#bruh lmao #so awkward. say something you dingus lol #ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already #gyatt #spacie spoinks #literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like #heres the thing #if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate #im like a vampire like that #and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now #like dude sdkfjshlkdfj #im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic) #am i gonna hafta say something. lol #probably #''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.'' #cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭 #also like. this person has been staring at me lol #which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful #for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!! #its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks #im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin #i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs #i dont wanna put her on the spot #the only time i see her is when im in class #and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd

[bylertruther]

kind of crazy how mike said in a moment of vulnerability and weakness that he wants to be needed and to be of use and good at something, and then a large chunk of the fandom just decided to validate all of his worst thoughts & fears and suddenly reduce him to a weak, incapable, mindless, unloved wastoid wimp that's everything his low self-esteem tells him he is and nothing like how the people in his life see him (or what the narrative itself has shown us since the very first episode). even crazier when the people that do that call themselves mike fans lol but i'm 😴😴😴

#mike wheeler #mine #like. i don't think that some of you actually like him. you weren't supposed to agree with him when he was self-deprecating. #mike has been loyal brave kind compassionate courageous many many times. he's been strong for others when they couldn't be. he #grabs whatever he can use as a weapon because he isn't going down with a fight. he attacks and does do damage. people listen to him #when he speaks. they look to him to lead them and help them with both big things and small things. he IS their inspiring leader and he #IS will's knight in shining armor. like... i just don't get it. mike isn't a bad character. he has depth. good sides and bad sides. he's #always involved in the plot. why would you want to take that away? he's always been like that. if you take it away- then what the hell are #you left with? who is mike when you take away everything that he is? just. what? #i would expect that from someone that doesn't pay super close attention to the show or militantly believes him to be a homophobic #straight guy but. but but but.... i just will never get it lol. why did it come NOW after another character LITERALLY TELLS HIM #THAT ISN'T TRUE? it seems almost spiteful. as if the next thing you're going to tell me is that eleven's number is actually nine or smth.

[bumblingbabooshka]

St Voyager - Ex Post Facto “Maybe I kill myself slowly because I don’t have the courage to do it all at once.”

#I love when Tuvok & Janeway stare silently at each other as a response to something #I also love how the dog in this episode is just a regular earth dog that they call a dog #the only thing remotely 'alien' about it is that its hair is a little wild HEHEH they didnt even try #at least give it a silly name~!!! #'This is a yarnool.' (it looks really similar to a dog) 'I know not what a d o g is! how curious!' #very fun episode I love the noir vibes and the design of the apartment #tuvok saying 'it's rare to find someone as dispassionate as we(vulcans) are' absolutely a dig....and her 'I bet she's a FINE dispassionate #woman :)' ....I liked their interaction #it reminded me of that tiktok audio #'we go by tall grande and venti here.../most/ people know that.' (do I look like most people?) 'absolutely not <3' #the quote is actually 'maybe I kill myself slowly because I dont have the courage to do it quickly' but I don't like slowly-quickly #it sounds too samey #Harry isn't in this episode as much as these screenshots might suggest but I like him so he is here #He has a weirdly stoic energy in this one but I assume it comes from uhhhm.....worry or anger or something idk #it's stressful #st voyager #ex post facto #star trek #episode scrapbook #the way harry & tom stare at her with SUCH confusion after she feeds her dog meat is so funny to me #WHAT is the emotion of that scene??? <- guy who's bad with things like that #it's david lynch levels of incomprehensible to me but I like that <3

[fuckingfandomfreak]

Maybe it’s just me but i really need to talk about the ‘I guess I was wrong’ line in 5x12 bc I feel like the only person who thought yeah it was a shitty thing to say but Merlin kinda deserved it. Bc Arthur doesn’t say that to Merlin bc Merlin refused to go to war with him, it’s bc Merlin refused and then lied to Arthur about why.

Arthur is calling Merlin a coward bc Merlin is leaving him and then lying about it. Arthur feels like the least he deserves is honesty if Merlin is gonna leave him. That’s why Merlin feels guilty and tries to apologize. Even if Merlin couldn’t tell him the truth, the least Arthur deserved wasn’t a half-baked bullshit lie about collecting supplies for Gaius.

Merlin is too scared to tell him the truth and so Arthur snipes at his bravery.

#I guess I just always felt like #you can’t lie to Arthur and then get mad when he comes to inaccurate conclusions #bc Arthur’s version of reality is so far from the truth honestly #and even then #after 10 years arthur did deserve some honesty #from a man who was always OFFENDED when arthur wasn’t honest with him #(Merlin fr had me pissed during 4x11) #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin meta #my thoughts ugh #I just needed to get my thoughts out for my own sanity #arthur also values courage above all else #so of course that’s what would nick at him

[werepuppe]

guys it's 2023 happy 2023 ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗💥💥💥🙌🙌🙌 2023 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ok real talk im gonna ramble here a bit #bc the past year has been so fucking wild bc that was the year where i met new folks n got the courage #to leave a shitty fucking relationship i could not get myself to cut off for so long. for GOOD #i have gotten myself n my sense of self after. though myself had come back different bc i had changed so much #my interests now compared to from the start of that year changed so much #im just glad i finally was able to meet more new folks n end up being in a whole friend group like i've always wanted to for so long #bc otherwise i wouldn't have been holding up as super well after that final scare of the year from said shitty situation #i would've still been left wishing i was genuinely cared abt & wanting to feel close to what being human to people would be like #wolfe.txt

[dutybcrne]

A little known fact is Kaeya usually tends to cry out of frustration. Little known, because he tends to be so good at masking it and holding back when it comes to a head, with only Adelinde having been the one he felt comfortable enough to cry around, back in his youth.

Nowadays, he will adamantly refuse to cry in front of anyone, even those he’s closest to. But if one who knows him well enough might happen to witness his lashes seemingly fluttering as he rolls his eyes after a verbal bout with Diluc, they’ll know.

They’ll know.

#hc; kaeya #//He felt comfortable w/ Addie bc he wanted to be strong for Crepus & Luc. She was safe to confide. Nowdays; he feels ashamed to w/ her #//Back as a kid; he only (genuinely out of heavy emotion) cried in front of Crepus and Diluc ONCE; each #//Him crying crocodile tears to get something out of them is a WHOLE different story. But yeah #//Crepus; after he got scolded for going to Sumeru—bc he realized then how much the man cared. Crepus realized what it meant to him; too #//With Diluc; he never once legitimately cried in front of him up until The Confrontation #//Would make faces and almost tear up; at times yeah #//But he TRULY cried only that time; and it wasn’t even BECAUSE of Diluc himself #//It was because of Kaeya's Vision #//Kaeya had already only been in a bit of a spiral over Diluc lashing out & conflict of his loyalties; of Crepus' death & guilt of mourning #//But it’d been made worse by the Vision bc how was it KAEYA got to have a Vision & thus be saved from certain death by the gods #//But CREPUS; the good; kind man who’d taken him in and been nothing but loving to him; & courageous to the end was left to DIE? #//WHY would the gods spare a SINNER and not HIM? #//It had been too much to bear and utterly broke him in that moment; his sobs more akin to screams drowned out by the downpour #//Of others he’d cried in front of; Lisa and Rosaria are the only others. And even then; it's been AWHILE since either event #//Even with the extremely vulnerable moment he had with Jean after Diluc left; he kept it together for her #//Lisa and Rosaria both caught him while drunk and his fears and frustrations (respectively) bubbled right to the surface #//Significant others/close friends will NEVER see him actually cry unless it's MASSIVELY serious. Like; genuinely life-or-death serious #//Anywho BACK to the post's actual subject #//With Diluc; ever since he's come back; Kae gets so easily frustrated with how they can't get along; even if he gets Why it's so #//But it's much rarer for him to actually get upset enough to tear up in the moment; so unless you're LOOKING for it; it goes unnoticed #//Those times tend to coincide with when he up and decides to head out early for whatever reason #//Bc he Knows he's about to break; and thus tries to get away #//It's not really that he doesn't think Luc would care; it's that he Knows the man would be utterly Awful handling it #//And thus Kae would much rather take the L and lick his own wounds alone than let Luc's rep take a hit #//He does cry a LOT more than most people think; but Diluc actually has nothing to do with it then—it's actually over his paperwork #//It frustrates him the most of everything; esp since he'd always struggled with writing and reading; no matter the help he recieved #//In the privacy of his office compared to his lessons as a lad; he's actually able to get his frustrations out #//Which does help LOADS bc he's forced to take a break to cry it out; then continue a lot calmer after he's gotten it out of his system #//It's one of; his not his Only; healthiest coping mechanisms

[kimtaegis]

today was good.

#genuinely good #it’s the first time in two and a half years that I feel strong and hopeful and courageous again #something changed after Christmas and I’m finally getting somewhere #I feel kind of…ready to go forward #less anxious about what’s to come #I literally cried today because I realised how far I’ve come the past few weeks and how proud I am of myself? #I also received so many lovely words today from people I really care about #it feels like a big win which I needed so bad #I’m really happy and grateful today

[godsopenwound]

The world is very dusty, uncle. Let us work. One day the sickness shall pass from the earth for good. The orchard will bloom; someone will play the guitar. Our work will be seen as strong and clean and good. And all that we suffered through having existed shall be forgotten as though it had never existed.

— Donald Justice, There is a gold light in certain old paintings

#donald justice #on courage and what comes after #m

[kageyama-ritsu]

idk theres something about makotos overarching character arc being that he basically decided to devote his whole self into doing something he loves (being an idol and being part of trickstar) and sticking with it even when it consistently drags him outside of his comfort zone

parallels with his modelling career where he was also repeatedly pulled outside of his comfort zone, but in ways where he was being taken advantage of, where it was done to the detriment of his own self, something he wished he could escape from but circumstances prevented him from doing so until he reached a breaking point and physically could not continue anymore.

now he's constantly being pushed to do things like take charge, assert himself, and gain self-confidence, even when he doesn't quite feel comfortable in doing so. he fights back when he doesn't think he's being valued as a human being with his own desires and wants. every time he's pushed out of his comfort zone, it's for his own benefit - and even if it isn't, he finds a way to put a positive spin on it. and most importantly (to me anyways), he does this all while pursuing his dream of becoming an idol, something that doesn't come as naturally to him as modelling did, something he still feels inadequate about and is unsure he even has the talent for. but he works his ass off to be an idol despite the fact that he can quit anytime BECAUSE he loves the new path he's chosen so much

#ensemble stars #makoto yuuki #after the trauma his modelling career left him with he could have tried his best to just live a normal life #or stayed a hikkikomori forever. i dont think many people wouldhave blamed him #but instead he decided to risk it all and place himself back in the spotlight again #originally just as a way to create a completely brand new and fresh start to his life #but eventually gaining the courage and confidence to literally face his past (cameras) and make something good of it #i think many makoto enjoyers would describe him as 'ruthless' or 'pragmatic' which is admittedly a rather confusing descriptor #for those who havent pored over his stories #but its a very different sort of pragmatism from the usual that someone like. say ibara or eichi would embody in some ways #because it's more... hmm... reactionary? defensive? #the goal of his pragmatism is not to brutally force his opponents out of the way #but as a way to push himself and those he cares about forwards no matter what stands in their way #an example of this is the fact that he uses a sort of easygoing and klutzy persona on the stage #to smooth over the mistakes and relative lack of talent he had compared to the other three #and basically incorpoate his mistakes into his appeal #he does it so well that i think a lot of enstars fans legitimately have the misconception that makoto is just a silly little guy #yes hes part of the idiot combi but he's the tsukkomi. yes hes a silly guy but he can be as serious as they come when the chips are down #this is the guy who literally had to be locked in a room for a week tostop him from going back to trickstar #this is the guy who was willing to sacrifice what he thought of back then as his only redeeming quality (his looks) #in order to be an idol in the unit he loves!!! #when im out of catching up on work hell and can writemy 10k+ word makoto dissertation its fucking over for you all

[crystallakec]

holy hell i love your art 😭 HOW ARE YOU SO TALENTED omfg

(if not too much to ask: got any art tips IM SORRY I GOTTA KNOW. i gotta know what you do to make your art look like it was made by gods)

*nervous sweating*

#LONG LONG LONG TAGS BELOW BE CAREFUL BECAUSE I GOT EMOTIONAL #OH MY GOD HOW COME I DIDNT SEE THIS EARLIER #dsaudhuisadh tysm anon!!!T_TT waaah this means a lot #for any art tips...well since me myself is totally an amateur so I cant really give out any cool useful advice #but one thing that came to me earlier this year that is kinda important #is to absolutely. draw for yourself. do whatever makes you happy. trust me just try to snatch back that vibe you have in your cringest year #if you like oc x canon do it!!!oh you like this cringy little character ??draw them one million times!!! #I think after I kinda made some progress after I realized this. It's still ok to care about numbers and get sad or jealous or anything. #I understand that. but try whatever makes you happy..!! #just so you know I basically started learning anatomy(or adults etc)from end of last year. I was always a cartoon/chibi artist before that #Ive always wanted to draw adults/muscle/anything other than chibis but i was so afraid that ppl will laugh at me if I did it too terrible #then I realized...who cares..!! I'll do it anyway because that's what ive been!!thinking of for so long!!it will makes me happy idc!! #and here we are ^_^^ yayyyyy!!!still bad at it but you see at least i have the courage to post my works!! #sorry for saying so much I just hope ppl who had the same troubles like I do to be happu T_TT draw for yourself #dont stress yourself out!!

[uroborosymphony]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄?

Calista, the immortal.

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐔𝐋𝐓 : 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄

key words: self-assured, courageous, intuitive. you are an expert at overcoming your demons and should be proud of how brave you have consistently shown yourself to be. others are amazed by your perseverance, strong personality, and unapologetic uniqueness. compatible with: coffee, freshly baked bread.

tagged by : @jeoseungsaja (Thank youu!)

#Honestly? Accurate #Calista isn't the fire to me she's the smoke #It's that cold in her - She's the scent after the forest fire - she's the scent after the world was set on fire and died from it #She is brave and courageous and everything said - she is brave she is cocky she takes what she wants she kills for it #She has no fears no doubt no nothing #That also comes from something dead inside of her - she has died a long time ago to her - any fear would mean accepting she's still alive #Such as the fear of losing someone for example... #Ferre tagged Quinn on this one heh #I will do Quinn after Calista #셋 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀 / headcanons.

[crossbackpoke-check]

hiii! just wanted to pop into your asks to say thank you so much for always leaving such lovely comments on my artwork! i just love reading through the tags you write for them, it makes my day. please never change! 💓 i loved seeing the ideas you had for the devil!nico/jack drawing i posted, they were SO adorable ( OH and the demon squishmallow is named dante, like dante’s inferno )! again, thank you for being so sweet!

no YOU thank you so much for creating such wonderful artwork!!! it’s an absolute joy to get to see it, i’m so glad you choose to share it with us 💕💕💕💕 thank you so so much and it makes me so happy to hear that you like my tags 🥺🥰☺️ ALSO!! that’s so cute 😭😭 i love that the devil squishmallow is named dante it’s alliteration and clever

#i can promise i will continue to be an enormous fan of you & your art #not even kidding!!! i can’t believe this!!! did you feel me working up the courage to talk to you!!!! #me about to come into your dms like ‘hi i just needed to say i literally HAVE NOT stopped thinking about your devil!nico i love him so much’ #‘it’s been a week & yesterday i went ‘ok but nico’s pointed nails r like. natural stilettos they r PERFECT for nail polish :) demon spa day’ #that’s cosmic FATE baybe 🥰🥰🥰 same brain same brain same brain (the brain is love & appreciation) #liv in the replies #anyway. guess who just looked up squishmallows & was like haha what if there’s a jack russell terrier one for jack and GUESS WHAT #there’s not but there IS a little black cat exclusive 500 edition squishmallow named jack who has the cutest little 😌 face & #‘can be a little feisty but he loves to cuddle’ i’m on the floor wheezing of all the squishmallows to be named jack. it’s a little black cat #(notably a *spooky* animal witch familiar which. jack summoned a demon) & it’s exclusive & has a pale pink nose/mouth he’s DELICATE & PRETTY #QUINN IS A KANGAROO I REPEAT QUINN IS A PEACH KANGAROO INTROVERT quinn eldest daughter kangaroo pouch thesis… macropods #luke is a little lamb 🥺 i would have said a puppy but he’s literally the baby the 8’’ version comes w/a rattle HE’S PART OF THE BABY SQUAD #have i devolved into looking up hockey players as squishmallows? YES BECAUSE THERE’S ONE NAMED JOELLE & IT’S BIGFOOT LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME #joelle is part of the sassy squad and i am slowly losing it because there is also a winter joelle AND an aus winter joelle #which is exclusive to australia & i did think about the line where joel goes ‘cool have you ever seen a koala’ to raff & wheeze laugh softly #laying my head down on my desk &weeping verbatim from the site connor the cow is at the finish line waiting 4u! connor is quite the athlete #plus serge(i) the skeleton bird… sid the snail… stevie the cactus… nathan gamer cat mackinnon… i’m having too much fun #i don’t NEED squishmallows but also the desire to buy dante just because of devil!nico has been slowly growing stronger #also me: but what if u reread the inferno so u can pick out a title for the fic u are(n’t) going to write & use that as the demon structure #oh editing also 2 say: if u didn’t want me to publish this i can take it down! i do Not know how to answer asks privately even after years

[myownprivatcidaho]

ok ive held off on saying this for months now but he smiles at me like this

#especially that last frame when i was telling him i liked him. god i KNEW it was gonna Haunt me and god fucking dammit it DOES #i try not to think ab it and then at the WORST times of the day the image just comes to my mind #quite rudely and inconveniently i might add #like for a good couple MONTHS after i told him i was able to like. block out the imagery #everytime i remembered that convo id focus on the sidewalk or the wall behind him but not HIM #cause i knew it would HURT. and then. im not even sure how or when but its like something Broke #and i cant unsee it whenever i remeber The Conversation i cant forget it i cant refocus. its THERE #and god. i just dont know what to do man #nd idk how to describe the feeling. i feel so warm. and held #kinda drugged. #and like he doesnt make a POINT of it a lot of it is stuff i Catch him doing #god. #it drives me NUTS cause im over here like What Does It Mean Whag Does It All Mean #and the one time i gather the courage to try and actually Discuss this with him hes like no <3 :3 #DO YALL SEE MY MOTHERFUCKING DILEMMA. #that one crush situation lol #anyways. all that to say back in the fall inwas saying he looks at me like im made of gold and it feels like i have wings i MEANT it ...

[forecast-rain]

I will never get tired of thinking about my ocs. They’re my everything. I love them. I want them to have happy endings. Or as close to happy as they can get. I just love them <3

#cloud posts #this post was inspired by how I just go off every time I'm given the chance to talk about them #I just love them #like today I was thinking about Trevor and Sylvia #and their first meeting #and I think it woukd happen during what I call the obsession arc #where after Events happen Astro gets obsessed with Sylvia #so Trevor gathers the courage to finally talk to Sylvia (his childhood best friend) #and is like hey do you remember me? #Sylvia is like what cause Trevor is trans and so she doesn't recognize him #and then bla bla bla she recognizes him and hugs him and is (very ooc for her) very excited and peppy #making jokes about him being a romantic etc etc old patterns asking about his life #and afterwards like Astro would start getting Jealous of Trevor because of how much Sylvia likes him #and would maybe start trying to sabotage their friendship #(unless he perceives it as romance which. hm. is an idea 🤔) #and it keeps not working something something idk I'm coming up with this part rightn ow #Astro eventually gets physical with Trevor and Olive interrupts and helps Trevor despite Astro being somebody she gets along well with #and bla bla something about Lilly finding out and maybe it being another step in restoring her and Olive's friendship #and hhhh I love them