#queer is a slur but it's okay to reclaim it

[magnetothemagnificent]

You can't simultaneously reclaim a slur and then insist it's not a slur. A word has to be a slur to begin with for you to "reclaim" it. I'm all for reclaiming "queer" if you want to, I call myself queer, but you can't then also spread misinformation that it's not a slur and never was. If it's not a slur, then you're not reclaiming anything.

I'm a Jew. I call myself a kike. Proudly. But I would never insist that because I and other Jews are comfortable using it to describe ourselves, that it's no longer a slur.

I think some of you are so caught up in the euphoria of your own reclamation that you recoil when others don't have the same euphoria. But it's perfectly normal to not have the same experiences. Someone saying "hey, please don't call me this word, I'm uncomfortable with it" isn't oppressing you just as much as you aren't oppressing someone for saying "hey, I like this word, please call me this word".

You will encounter people who call themselves "queer" but not "gay", "gay" but not "queer", "faggot" but not "queer", etc etc. And this diversity of experience is beautiful and important.

And this doesn't even touch on the fact that the social context and gravity of certain words are different in different regions and countries, and insisting that everyone abide by one region (read: Northern USA)'s definition and context of a word is extremely American-centric and paternalistic.

Not everyone should have the same relationship to different words. Diversity is important, otherwise it just becomes an echo chamber.

#queer #queer is a slur but it's okay to reclaim it #queer stuff #lgbt stuff #words have meaning #the disk horse #slur reclamation #f slur mention #k slur mention

[sapphia]

never mind the fact that billie joe armstrong is bisexual, “they used the f slur!” is such a wild thing to take away from the line “well maybe i’m the faggot, america”

#this convinced me that anyone MUST be able to say queer slurs and it’s okay (as long as the context is not derogatory obv) #you shouldn’t have to out yourself to reclaim a slur #green day #queer #f slur #for tw #happy new year!

[puppetlooselystrung]

really also glad to be seeing some people on my dash agree that that q slur/word poll having the "well its reclaimed enough so its not a slur :) its just a word :)" as the majority is

a) probably full of people from the god damn city

and/or

b) pretty fucked cause thats not how reclamation works in the slightest

#metronome.txt #i have never had an ossue with personal reclaimation. #i have a slight issue with being lumped into as queer community bc every time u say u have an issje ppl go #THATS NOT UR COMMUNITH THEN HOPE THIS HELPS SWEETIE #when EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING IT. INSTEAD OF LGBT+. so i guess theres no community anymore #BUT besides the whole 'people cant tell the difference between a slur and an insult' isssue i have- #-i have a massive issue with people assuming personally reclaimed = reclaimed and okay for everyone #and YOURE the problem if you font like it #THATS NOT HOW RECLAIMATION WORKS AT ALL.

[pretty-roach]

queer is a beautiful word with a rich history of resistance. queer was taken back specifically to combat violence from homophobes. queer is fuckin punk. it lets me embrace black queerness and reject rigid boxes imposed by patriarchy and white supremacy. queer is intersectional, unspecific, deeply personal. So it's okay to not use label. But don't try and erase it from our history. Don't try to rebuild the societal boxes we broke out of. we're here, we're fuckin queer, get used to it

#look im talking #like it's okay if it's a slur to YOU #but it rubs me the wrong way when yt tenderqueers insist on removing it from the acronym #ESPECIALLY when they ignore the specific ways black queerness is different #you can't erase the historical significance of it in LGBTQ history #like they always try to downplay it but reclaiming it was so important in the fight against aids #in our zines #in our protests #in our first organizations #and what you're just gonna ignore that? #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtqa #lgbtq pride #lgbtq history #lgbt history #queer #black queer people #black queerness #black queer history #black queer magic #queer representation #queer history #queer artist #gay pride #black queer women #black queer love #black queer artist #lgbtq discourse #oops

[jewishgir]

wow this person is a fucking asshole lmao.

#queer is a slur and has power in its reclaimation... because it's a slur #also imagine being like 'i dont want to debate this' all theyre doing is tagging the post #'95% of anti queer rhetoric is pushed by terfs and exclusionists' okay untrue but even if it was #what about the other 5% of us who grew up being called queer in violence #q slur

[boyrobottz]

thinking about that one time i rejoined a discord server i've left to see if i can make some friends there and literally all the god damn time the mods just kept saying faggot over and over again. like there were roles and announcements and nicknames dedicated to that word. like in that server faggot was tossed around in almost every sentence.

the kicker? there's a no slur rule. rules for thee but not for me.

also there was a no nsfw rule, and one of the mods posted a detailed pixel art penis, and there were minors in that server.

#f slur #text #i wish people didn't treat slurs as ordinary cuss words #“i reclaimed it!” okay but it's still a slur #slurs aren't supposed to be part of your everyday vocabulary i'm sorry #unless if it's like “queer” where nobody really considers that a slur anymore you don't toss around faggot as if it was the same as fuck #like if i were to scream that word out in public nobody's gonna care that i'm a gay dude they're gonna think i'm a asshole #also if you run a discord server stick to your own fucking rules #you're not better than everyone else because you run the server

[kaltstrahls]

something so unbelievably backwards about telling trans ppl they're terfs for not wanting to be called 'queer' like my god. die actually

#dove's soapbox #sorry not sorry i fucking hate the sanitization of the word #to the point where cishets are comfortable calling lgbt+ folks a literal slur to their faces #to the point where corportations are calling us a literal slur as part of their advertising?! #like. okay. #again. if you want to call yourself that. fine! good for you! #but if you whole ass walk up to me and call me queer i WILL break both of your arms 🤭 #OR call me a terf for not wanting to be called a slur #i'll break your legs too!! #reclaimation is a PERSONAL CHOICE and not something you can decide for others #'oh but dove you call yourself a faggot/dyke all the time' yes because i PERSONALLY CHOSE to use those words for myself #would i walk up to a random person and call them those words? absolutely not! #so why is 'queer' any different lol.

[sylvanianfamiliez]

the like insistence people have that queer isn’t a slur is so fucking weird. first people were reclaiming it and now people are like. “if you say queer is a slur i’ll block you” when are we gonna start genuinely talking about the faggot community and blocking for tagging f slur

#like okay!! go off king reclaim it!!! but like…. #why. are people so mad. that it’s a slur. like it’s a slur it’s literally a slur #i tag it because i know people who have had it used as a slur against them #i do not refer to myself as queer because i personally don’t wish to reclaim it #which is fine. why is this an issue #how is it terf rhetoric to not enjoy being referred to as a slur. hello #those people are fucking insane #q slur #f slur

[zehecatl]

idk, but isn't the reclaiming of slurs supposed to be about taking a word that's hurt you, and then taking it back for yourself

not throwing it in other people's face

#ze.txt #saw some dumbass take and i'm just. idk if a straight person who's had queer or fag or whatever used against them #and they wanna use it for themselves like. okay? what does that hurt #like you shouldn't call people slurs in the first place? even if you can reclaim said slur?? #the slur discourse seems to very much miss that point lmao???

[srvphm]

lmao I can’t believe some people still wanna argue that queer isn’t a slur because they like to reclaim it. thats like half of the appeal for me. I love being queer, I love being a queer, I love being outside the societal norms and I kinda love that it bothers people. I love being the queer that will stay on some asshole’s mind when they hear my chains rustle as I get off at my stop. I love being that queer that gets judging stares from adults and amazement from kids who haven’t been taught that it’s wrong to be like me yet. I love being queer in the same way I love being a faggot. love being a crossdresser a fairy a queen. I love being comfortable with my identity in a world that’s invented a hundred different words to insult it. I’ll wear every single one of them as a badge of honour, and don’t you fucking dare tell me queer isn’t one of those. don’t you fucking dare deny that queer was ever slurred at me and I’ve chosen to reclaim it. don’t you fucking dare tell me this isn’t my choice to make.

#listen you’re allowed to love that word with all your heart #there is absolutely nothing bad about ​being queer and identifying as queer #and I’m not here to deny all the positive experiences people have had with it #I ​love it. I love how it’s nonspecific but unambiguous. #but you will not deny the past and present use of that word agaisnt some of us as a slur. as verbal abuse. #you WILL NOT tell that identifying as queer isn’t My choice to make for Myself #and you will not say ‘it’s been reclaimed’ as if that’s a choice you can make for me or anyone else #if you’re uncomfortable that queer has and is used as a slur by people who truly do not care whether or not you reclaim it #that’s your problem to unpack. our history is not a happy thing and I get wanting to forget the horros I really do. #I’m sorry that the word you love so much has been wielded as a weapon against some of us. like I genuinely am. #but you issue is with homophobia and transphobia. not the reminder that it exists but the fact that it does #does that make sense #okay to reblog if you want to #I will not be taking arguments #I love when queer people call me queer btw I love that it’s our thing

[magnetothemagnificent]

Queer isn’t a slur?

It is. You can't reclaim a slur if it isn't a slur. I reclaim the word queer, but that doesn't mean it's not a slur. It is a slur, and I proudly call myself a slur. But that doesn't mean I'll call other people "queer" if they don't want to be called that, because it *is* a slur at the end of the day and lots of people have trauma attached to it.

#seriously I swear to god you can't wax poetic about reclaiming queer and then say it isn't a slur #queer is a slur but it's okay to reclaim it #language matters #words matter #queer

[buck-yyyy]

why am i getting posts recommended to me that are against the usage of the word queer

please no.

#i of course don’t mind if someone is personally uncomfortable with the word #i’m never going to make someone call themselves queer OR call them queer as a descriptor if they’ve expressed their discomfort #or even if they’ve explicitly told me their identity and haven’t referred to themselves as queer #because queer is on a person to person basis. if you haven’t told me that’s what you want to be called then i won’t call you can smth at #won’t call you that* #but you can’t tell people not to use the word for themselves #just like you can’t tell someone not to use the word fag for themselves #because it’s //none of your fucking business// #if i feel that those words represent me and taking power back from people who use them to hurt me or people like me? #then let me use them- ON MYSELF. #and obviously- i’m not saying that cishet allo people should be using reclaimed slurs #i feel like that’s obvious but i don’t want my words to be misconstrued #just. stay out of other peoples business. there’s a damn reason they’re calling themselves that #just like there’s a reason you don’t want to be called that #establish boundaries with your own identifiers and leave other peoples ALONE #okay #rant over #anyways #slur discourse #f slur tw

[andromedasummer]

i just saw someone describe themself as a fag in their bio and right after that they had "queer is a slur" girl what kinda word do you think faggot is?

#tw: f slur #like i use both for myself #bcos like. queer studies is part of media analysis and ive always known it to be a label. #and im okay with the f slur because people used it endlessly against me when i was a kid and for me reclaiming that gives me back power #but there are people out there who dont use that word and that makes complete sense! #same with queer! #BUT IF YOUR ARGUMENT IS. THAT QUEER IS A SLUR. #AND THEREFORE SHOULDNT BE USED AS A LABEL. #AND YOU SELF IDENTIFY. AS A FAGGOT. #THERE IS SOME COGNITIVE DISSONANCE GOING ON

[onyx-pixiestyx]

Unfriendly Reminder That Pride Is A Riot

#dont fucking forget our black trans sisters who gave this to us #marsha p johnson walked so we could run #dont turn this riot into a debate on wether or not people should be allowed to reclaim slurs #dont make this about wether kink is okay at pride or not #dont fucking ignore what our queer predecessors did for us

[submalevolentgrace]

if i say "the queer community", i am referring to the community of self identified queers. if you're not a self identified queer, then i wasn't talking about you!

"i don't like to be called queer because it hurt me!" cool, fine, whatever. the word gay hurt me, i get it. but see, i didn't actually call you queer, i was talking about, and this might be difficult to follow; people who like being queer! that's why i said "queer community", to refer to the broad community of queers.

"but i'm gay/lesbian/bi/ace/whatever and i don't like it being used as an umbrella term!" okay, cool. if someone forces you under an umbrella you don't like that sure does suck! i hate being forced under the "LBGT+" umbrella myself. i absolutely loathed "trans*", i get it, trust me. i would like to draw your attention to the fact that i just said "queer community", which explicit in text and implicit in meaning, refers to a community of people... bare with me here.... people who are queer. if you do not consider yourself queer.... then it wasn't about you. it was about me and my community.

"but i know what group you're talking about and it applies to me too!" okay but you see that, you see that you're putting yourself under the umbrella there right? and then complaining about it, right? it's not my fault you decided it was about you? you're always going "it's okay for you to use, but" and then attack us when we do use it for ourselves, by shoving yourself under an imagined umbrella of your construction, hurting us in the shove, and then screaming like you were forced in here.

"but it's a--" listen.

listen to me.

you might think i'm being obstinant and maybe i am a little! but i'm trying to illuminate a point here. you've constructed an idea in your head of "us" as a monolith, a singular group that you want covered by a singular umbrella with a singular term; and you've decided that this "us" group - including you - is who i'm talking about right now, and then you've gotten shitty at me for using a word you don't like for an idea you projected over my words.

but here's the secret: there is no singular group like that. there is no monolith. there is no singular cohesive "us". there's just people, individuals with infinite experiences and selves and sexualities and genders and loves and all these beautiful things, and sometimes when we're similar enough we band together into groups and pick labels; gay, trans, queer, rainbow, whatever. these are just names, names for imagined groups, imagined groups with fake made up boundaries! people will argue there are definitions, gay means this, lesbian means that; but people will always disagree, so the names expand and the groups get broader. msm, wlw, bi, pan, genderqueer, rainbow quiltbag alphabet soup!

and you can expand and contact and refine and broaden but you will never cover everyone. at some point, you have to just accept letting people self define, and decide if they want to be in the group. if you have a "gay" group, the socially straight msm will get shitty at being called gay and it's not the fault of either the gays or the word "gay" that they're not included! people will expand and stretch and redefine and shrink, all these groups and labels will ebb and flow as different people have different needs and want to include - and exclude!- different people for their communities.

but some of "us", many generations ago, got sick and tired of constantly redefining labels and groups and decided to pick a nice word for ourselves and welcome anyone who liked it to use it, and that's queer. maybe it was already a slur that we reclaimed, maybe it was already our word before it became a slur, maybe it was just common slang for someone a little unusual and oddball and we liked that! historians both academic and communal disagree! it doesn't even matter, it's our word; "our" being anyone who likes it. if you like "queer" and want to be queer and respect the existing queers, you're welcome. and generation after generation, we pass it on for anyone to use, to say: it's okay not to box yourself in, it's okay not to define yourself down to the molecule, it's okay to be free, to come and go, to love and be whatever. it's our sanctuary. you are queer if you want to be queer. that is the gift that was given to me by the queers that came before me, i will gift it in turn to anyone that wants to carry it forwards. not everyone has to be queer, but we chose to be.

and you motherfuckers.

you motherfuckers keep smashing through the windows of our sanctuary, declaring it to be your umbrella, scream about slurs like we've never been hurt in our lives, and then hurl violence and vitriol at us because you personally hate being inside our sanctuary and want the entire structure destroyed and rebuilt for you.

fuck you.

i suffered through years of torment and abuse being called gay and having it spat at me with hate, being berated in church for questioning love, being screamed at and beaten by family and classmates and having them spit - literally - the word gay at me. i suffered through it, i survived it, i flourished to spite it and was embraced by queers who taught me love for myself and gave me safe sanctuary in this beautiful, ambiguous word, and you don't get to take that away from me.

if i say "us queers" and you come at me about how it hurts you and start yelling about umbrellas and slurs: 1) i wasn't fucking talking about you, 2) you're not part of my community and don't get to tell me what i call it, and 3) you are the fucking problem here, you are the one doing the hurting right now.

when you come into my community of queers and tell me that our sanctuary is "a slur", you are indistinguishable to me from the people spitting "gay" as they beat me.

if you're gay as in happy, you're free to be that and i won't stop you or tell you your whole core is a slur. you pick whatever umbrella you want to imagine for yourself, and i'll probably chose not to stand under it.

because i am queer. as in fuck. you.

and you will have to kill me to stop me being queer

#sometimes anger is better out than in

[etoilesbienne]

re: tubbo and homophobia

It is okay to be uncomfortable with the homophobia jokes. That's fine. You're entitled to feeling uncomfortable however you please. That being said: some issues I have.

A fair amount of people upset with this aren't watching Tubbo's streams for the jokes, which is fine, however, reducing him to his status as a gay man as his only character trait is a little bit aggravating. There's a whole plotline of Tubbo feeling left out by the rest of morning crew and thinking he'll be left alone forever.

Like, sure Tubbo has Fred - as I've seen people mention - but thinking Tubbo's character's issues with loneliness will be resolved by having a romance is a character reduction, and grating to see repeated en masse by people claiming to be opposing homophobia. I understand people being uncomfortable with jokes, that's fine, but being homophobic in your own criticisms and reinforcing stereotypes with narratives of gay people solving all problems by simply falling in love is also not the take here.

I'd also urge people to be more thoughtful in their criticisms and how saying an openly gay man is making a community "unsafe" can be interpreted in a much worse way. It's fine to feel uncomfortable with jokes, again, but do not purposefully disregard any sort of reclamation or complexity of an openly gay creator being the one to make the jokes.

Like should Tubbo maybe tone down the jokes? Depends. I personally do not care. Is q!Tubbo actually homophobic? No. He's making a story about his character being left out and lashing out in a way he feel he can with his status as a queer person. If you want complex story writing: There it is. If you do not like it, it's fine, but let a character have a complex arc without trying to defang it.

And for christ's sake, he can reclaim the slur. There is no reason to be mad at him for that.

Leave the original person who made the criticism alone. This is more than just one person and they were fair in being uncomfortable with the jokes. Don't come for people personally.

#discourse #posts from the aether