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#queer people i will defend you with my life
mega-queerdrill · 1 year
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did you recently change your url/icon?? i know i recognize ur bio but i can’t for the life of me remember 💀
Url is the same its always been, thatmemeingfish, but I realized I'm a lesbian and not bi, so I had to swap that good old bi flag Charlotte from Madoka Magica icon for something new and accurate, also deciding to include genderqueer, which isnt as new for me but I haven't had anything really anywhere advertising that.
That said, I will still defend bi/pan/omni people with a giant hammer, and frankly people with any queer label, including seemingly contradictory or "bad" labels. Queer discourse will break apart our community and assuming the worst about someone's gender/sexual label is a quick way to let those who hate us win. Don't tolerate bigots but don't become one just because you equate an entire gender/sexual identity with a some form of bigotry/seemingly personal slight. Exclusionism is reactionary, don't be reactionary. Equating an entire queer identity with bigots who try and claim that identity for their movement is why I for years wouldn't allow myself to think about whether or not I really had any true attraction to men and could only think about the rampant terfs, bi/pan/omniphobes and other bigots I personally had contact with in the lesbian community, which only harmed me in the long run. Bisexuals, bi lesbians, aspec people, trans people, polyam people, neopronouns, xenogenders and anything else I'm missing will never be the problem. The real problem lies with terfs, men who chase women who for any reason are not interested, people cheating on their partners and any others who ever use queer language to hide behind and excuse bad behavior and bigotry. They are the issue, never the identities or people who have those identities.
Anyways Beedrill is my favorite pokemon, I'm a genderqueer butch lesbian, fuck yeah new icon.
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Whether or not anyone from Taylor’s team actually spoke to CNN about the NYT article, let’s all be reminded that:
* Nobody speculated on Taylor’s sexuality. The author points out various ways in which Taylor flags queerness in her art and that suggests to queer people that she may be one of us. That’s not a speculation, that’s fact.
* The article is also largely about closeting in the entertainment industry. And that’s still very common (also fact) whether you like it or not.
* This beautifully written and heartfelt article makes a point for the kind of world that queer people deserve to live in. If you call that ‘inappropriate’ I think that says a lot…
And maybe most importantly: IF SHE WAS AN ALLY SHE WOULD NOT BE OFFENDED TO BE ASSUMED QUEER! Being gay is not offensive and if you think otherwise, that’s homophobia.
At no point does the author dig into her muses or speculate on who she might be dating. That’s a level of journalistic professionalism that a lot of lesser publications could learn from.
Anna Marks (if that is your name) you are a brilliant writer and journalist, and I hope you do not take any criticism from old white men on CNN!
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unforth · 3 months
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Actually, I really wish Tumblr as a whole was less comfortable using feminizing language for gay men, especially gay East Asian men.
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thestalwartheart · 1 year
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 3 days
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nobody here fucking listens to me nobody here fucking cares when its important im so sick of this fucking house
#my mom can freak out when i drop a fucking plate or something because when THEY yell or call me slurs or hit me its perfectly fine#my mom says she hated when my father teased me but she never stopped him wnd n#and now when i get called a fucking faggot its none of her business either#why would it be#when i tried to to kill myself when i was more actively suicidal it wasnt let's get my daughter some help it was fucking#do you want to go to a mental hospital? where they'll tie you up? do you want to be like your father?#other people have it worse. other people have made it. youre only thinking of yourself. youre making me look like a bad parent.#even now she talks all proud in her therapy sessions and with the case workers but i know she hasn't tried to help me at all. i have no idea#where my lifes going and i have no idea where to start and she hasnt helped at all.#but its okay because shes getting better and shes the only fucking person in this house that matters right. she knows EVERYTHINGGGG#when my brothers talk bullshit it's okay for them to have their own opinions. when she gets offended its never on my behalf. im queer when#she gets to say shes sooo supportive but then she forgets#i can't use my name because she gave me everything and i have to think about her feelings#when i defend myself im just as at fault because why would i defend myself right. why wouldn't i just lie down and take shit#i fucking hate this house#i hope i never see everyone here again#aethers rants#cw vent#personal posts and stuff idk#swearing cw
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demonstars · 9 months
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like whats actually edating
#mind obviously went back to dnf like my mind always finds it here i'm in the dnf blog if i wanted to make another post i'd probably not be#doing it here Um anyway LIKE what is an internet relationship. the existance of a diferent medium means that what we understand by dating#is completely lost theres just not whatever courting or predating medium that kind of exist for people when they date? it obviously cant#develop naturally because the situation isnt natural but nature is dictated by what we're living#and dream more than george is peak new generation of chrnonically online tens#who have a difficult time adapting to social etiquete and well he also is unluckiest man alive but we're not talking about that. When we ar#forced to reinterpret what it means to be dating someone like the weird shift to not-friends we Theorize dnf Maybe coudl've had#makes total sense because its just not a common situation in the slightless. having a mayor key point of your life (figuring out youre#actually queer) be the talk of the month by a thousan people that Know making a joke at your expense will bring them attention is fucking#traumatizing#and that shit is just normalized by the context in which it is enacted????? AND WE JUST LET IT?????????AND NOBODY PAUSES AND THINKS WOW THI#IS KINDA FUCKED UP???????'#Dating is both a normative concept and a experience: we know what dating entailsbut we never actually#know how someoene else experiences it because theyre simply not us and thus we just dont know lol . anyway i lost the thread#dnf weirdest edaters ever i'll defend you forever
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lyxchen · 2 months
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Fucking hate that I can't even talk about a guy that I think is cool without somebody thinking I have a crush on that guy :|
#like i was out at our local bookstore with my friend and there's this guy who works there who is definetly some kind of queer (i'm pretty#sure he's trans)#and he's so cool!!!#like i once asked him if they had any neil gaiman books and he was really happy to show me and was like 'have you read good omens already?'#and then he showed me all the books they had and i just really like him because he's cool#and after my friend and i were out of the bookstore again i told her about that guy just because i wanted to but then she was like making#suggestive comments and idk i just don't like it#and then i have to defend myself but that just makes it sound even more like i have a crush when i Don't#hhhhhhh#like also when talking about male celebrities that i think are pretty or cool#i always try to tone it don't because i'm afraid people think i have a crush#and like not everyone knows that i'm a lesbian#but also why is that always the first thing people assume??#can't i just say this man is cool??#it's the amatonormativity#anyways#idk where i'm going with this post all i'm saying is#if i ever call a man on here pretty or say things similar to that then i am saying that from the comfort of my own room and i would never#ever want to be in a relationship with him#same goes for famous people in general#like no matter the gender#like i don't get that that's apparently a real thing#that people actually want to be with a celebrity or kiss them or have sex with them#like noooo please no#looking at them very cool very nice yes i love doing that#but ever actually doing anything in the romantic direction with a person you literally do not know?#why would you do that?#like yes i say that i'm in love with charlize theron but only as an actress#never in real life#lea's random thoughts
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chxxms · 9 months
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🙄
(small rant)
#looool not my dad going on a homophobic rant so randomly yesterday night…. he was talking to my lil brother on how to act properly when he#goes to uni saying to be careful and look after your drink cause people be spiking then he was explaining how some boy in uni got his drink#spiked by someone (maybe his friends) and apparently he got m*lested then my dad went on his homophobic rant cause apparently was men who#done it???? but why u bringing up gay people when a man got m*lested?? that doesn’t make sense like how far did u have to reach?? anyways i#clapped back at him and said that those two doors not correlate with each other and people can love who they want to love it isn’t your#business. but anyways yeah he realised showed himself to be a homophobic ass loser my mum wanted to hype up and defend him like gurl you#know damn well that i got to gay pride events and i know you’re just talking cause u wanna impress him (loser ass pick me) but yeah my#parents will never have that access to me when it comes to who i’m dating romantically because of the face i’m a lesbian they will never#know they hardly know who i am anyways ESPECIALLY MY DAD loser ass#like how embarrassing is it you’re a hating ads loser allowing that colonising christianity to hate on innocent people trying to live their#life like your high blood pressure is raising up for no reason other than your pressed#like how do you understand racism so damn well but you cannot put 1 + 1 together and see that christianity has done a number on us and our#igbo culture africian queer people have always existed it was not a western 🙄 thing ffs
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Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)
I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.
On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.
But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.
And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.
When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.
Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.
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the-mighty-mittens · 3 months
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I think a lot of people misunderstand (movie) Nimona as a character tbh.
"It's her fault everyone hates her, she hurt people" You have to keep in mind people treated her like crap because she was different, that wasn't her fault. She was attacked and made out to be a monster for defending herself, that wasn't her fault. This went on for over a thousand years, and eventually it wore her down and she decided that nobody was gonna see her as anything other than a monster, so why not fill the role you've been given and have some fun? Why lie down and let people treat you poorly when you can fight back?
Even so, she didn't purposely kill or injure any civilians (she saved a kid in the cereal dragon scene, and she just spit cereal at the knights, she could have killed them if she wanted to) and even when she turned into the shadow thing near the end, the most damage was caused by the knights attacking her. There were plenty of times she could have killed someone and didn't, because she's not really a monster. It seems like she mostly just wanted to make the Institution's life hell because they did the same to her, and that's totally valid imo. (I think the only person she killed, if I remember correctly, was the Director at the end and she TOTALLY deserved it. Correct me if I missed something though!)
I see a lot of myself in Nimona, as a queer teen myself. A lot of anger towards people for treating the LGBTQ+ community like crap for being different, and a lot of sadness because it feels like no matter what we do, we'll always be seen as monsters.
"Kids. Little kids. They grow up believing they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And _I'm_ the monster?" "I don't know what's scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart, or that sometimes, I just wanna let them."
Those lines resonate with me, because I feel that. I know what it's like, and it's scary. It wears you down and you really do start to believe the people telling you you're bad after a while, especially when it's coming from the people with more authority than you.
I see where she's coming from, because I know firsthand how it feels. A lot of people don't though, and it makes me sad when they boil her down to being "just a monster."
Anyway, everyone's entitled to their own opinions, I just wanted to talk about it.
Great movie, 10/10 recommend
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thebroccolination · 3 months
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The Use of “Husband/Wife” in Thai BL Series
A few years ago, I was talking to a queer Thai person about the use of endearments in Thai BL, and they were like, “A lot of interfans get mad about the husband/wife thing—and some queer Thai people don’t like it either—but many of us just think it’s sweet. Married couple! Cute! That’s it.”
So we go on talking about this and that, and then, remembering the prevalence of Win calling Team “baby” in English fics, I asked them what the Thai equivalent of that would be.
Immediately, they were like, “Okay, if you want to talk weird, that’s weird to me. Your lover is your infant? A little baby? That’s romantic? How?”
And I had to laugh, because…actually, yeah. It is weird when you think about it literally. But that’s kind of the point, right? We don’t literally mean “they are a little newly born human to me” when we use “baby” as an endearment. It’s just a, “this person is as precious to me as a baby,” vibe.
And for some of the people who find the “husband/wife” thing cute—queer and otherwise—it’s not like they’re literally thinking of one of the guys as a woman. It’s the marital bond vibe they like.
Some people hate “baby” as an endearment. I’ve spoken to them! They’re real!
Some people hate “husband/wife” too.
But when people decide, “Using this term in a series is a moral wrong and I need to hate and decry every series that uses it,” that’s maaaaybe going too far.
Most series seem to be veering away from using the terms anyway, and that’s fine, but it’s important and helpful to the larger conversation to remember that there’s a whole nuanced cultural and historical context behind terms we see in other countries’ media. Even queer people in Thailand use terms like “husband/wife” in their real lives. So before we assume we have all the information based on our own cultural context, it’s best to ask people from that culture for their perspective. And then continue to stay out of it, because what queer Thai people like or don’t like isn’t affecting anyone but themselves, so it’s not our lane to careen an oil tanker into.
Because another thing that queer Thai person said to me also resonates to this day: “When interfans create issues about Thai culture and fight with each other to protect Thai people from something they made up, we’re just watching them and thinking, ‘What the fuck are you all doing?’ We don’t need you to protect us.”
But Win calling Team “baby” in English fics—that I’ll defend with my life. ♡
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inkskinned · 1 year
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one of the things that's so frustrating is how often the arguments against us are actually happening to us. we said - you need to watch out, this will evolve into allowing fascism into legal statute. and we were told: you're a sensitive snowflake. you're annoying and stupid and have no concept of reality. nobody really believes that stuff.
but it's indoctrination for kids to even see queer people. it's grooming for kids to even be around queer people. it's disgusting to even put rainbows on kids clothes. it's inappropriate, shameful, still-an-argument. like any of this is new - we know already. for you, even seeing someone unashamed is the same thing as "forcing" it onto you. because god-forbid you confront any internal thought you have. because god-forbid you practice empathy. rage is better, i guess. it keeps you pretty.
this has always been the way of some people - a while ago, it would have been "sinful" for my white mom to marry my hispanic dad. once, in the year of our lord 2015, someone told me that "mutts" deserve a woodchipper. that one particular insult stayed with me - not because it was the first or last, but because there was something so unbelievably violent about it that i couldn't figure out how to hold it. the idea that someone is so assured of their bigotry and rage that they would paint this kind of a picture. even jokingly, even with the anonymity of the internet, it kind of centered things for me. a sense that, for some people, their rage burned so unimaginably large that it blocked even the basic fact of my humanity.
at one point, while i still had enough fire in me to get into long arguments, one of the bigots i was "debating" (being harassed by) said: to be honest, it's about the sex, not the love. between you, me, and the four walls of this blue hellsite, i actually didn't really care for "love is love" as the slogan of our community. it seemed so placid, so gentle, so ally-focused. where was the vitriol? where was the hours i spent agonizing over myself? where was the quiet moments of my life, filled with the sound of other people's hatred? this static that settles over everything; even for the action of holding her hand.
the world is unfair. i am an adult, and without the veneer and small-pond syndrome of my teenage years, the slogan has started sounding more desperate. the more places i went, the more people i met. love is love. love is defending him on a rooftop bar. the drink she throws at me goes down into my shoes while i stand there, wishing i had a better retort than what the fuck. love is both of us, keeping our heads down, the black SUV full of frat boys (?) pulled up next to us, howling, for five whole blocks, until we both gave up and had to stick our bare legs into the thicket by the side of the road, giving over into tick country rather than let it go on any longer. love is a lazy spring afternoon, my hand on her belly, the fan spinning overhead. did you hear the whole thing about target?
did you hear about being the target? that's a fun little parallel, isn't it. it almost feels like the game that-is-about-me is being played without-my-participation. someone wants to set fire to my life, and i have to wait for a response from a capitalist institution. i am watching a tiktok where a white woman under white lights complains about adult swimsuits, even though i think a lot of people would benefit from having swimming options that are not "instagram-inspired bikini" or "impossible to move in but otherwise pretty".
sometimes it just seems so fucking stupid. like, just to check, the rage you feel and the hatred - you could really just avoid all of that by minding your fucking business. sometimes (and this is true): it's not about you, and people don't need your permission. like, i don't understand any obsession with sports, but it seems to make other people happy. american football literally results in grievous bodily injury - and yet there are onesies for babies that say future quarterback. i personally don't love it, so i just don't buy that stuff. i walk by it, and don't let it bother me. there have been so, so, so many times that i was told - "so what if he's a little bit homophobic, if you don't like him, don't watch his movies." "so what if they fired her. don't buy their product." "so what if they wouldn't make a rainbow cake. just don't support them."
sometimes i feel the meaning of it scud against my body, an orca whale inside of me, threatening the boat. it is too large to see from my place; this shadow of a thing that dwarfs my petty other-concerns. i need to find a dress for an event, and florida is passing more anti-gay legislation. i need to text my friend back and confirm our plans, and someone is throwing beer bottles to the floor in a walmart because a different case had rainbows on them. it is a long fall, if i look down into it; this sense like the bottom doesn't exist. like i have only ever dipped my toes in.
sometimes i am unbelievably tired of talking about it. it feels like it has become too trite in my own poetry - queer writer complains about the state of the world! how original! - and then something else happens, and i am here again. i remember that it isn't a moment. i remember it isn't a scattered population of cartoon evil-doers, intent on world domination from behind handlebar mustaches. it is a concerted effort of real people with real power who really-do want to see my end. it is a lifetime of dodging the beercan as it sails out of the back of the van. it is a lifetime of not-kissing once we leave the apartment. it is a lifetime of watching someone protest our existence and then, very slowly, giving them the finger. it is a lifetime of holding my friends' hands and hearing the same agony in their life that i lived through. it is us, together, our faces turned upwards, the night sky so vast, milky way overhead like a lacework zipper.
it is a lifetime of staring down woodchippers.
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leeteraly · 2 years
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I WILL PUNCH MY EX CLASSMATE ON HER FCACE
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mockerycrow · 1 year
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Hello!!!!!! So i was wonderinfg if you could do a piece for cod mw2? A platonic 141 (other characters can be added if youd like) x (preferably 18-20 yr old) gn or fem reader. It can be a oneshot or headcannons, i dont mind either format!!! If you do a oneshot, any scenario (a mission, off duty, etc) is fine w me!!! You basically have free reign, just keep it strictly platonic, not even a smidge of the hints w the reader and romantic relationships 👍❤️
Ain’t That A Kick In The Head? (Platonic!141 x Fem!Reader)
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cod masterlist
A/N: YESS!! I LOVE PLATONIC FICS!! 99% of my writing so far has been romantic, kind of funny considering I’m aromantic and queer. thank you anon <3 i’m also sorry for taking so long. your speciality isn’t specified, but it can’t be demolitions, im sorry!! plot purposes.
[WARNINGS: mentioned misogyny, fluff.]
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Considering how young you are, you deal with quite a lot of people who have low expectations for you. To be fair, you don’t have much experience, but you are a quick learner and that’s very much needed on this base. You’re a Specialist, one rank above Private in the U.S. army ranks. When people first meet you, they expect you to be a coward, a twenty year old girl—is what they like to call you—who doesn’t know the difference between a 5.56 mm cartridge and a 7.62 mm cartridge, a clueless little girl. Of course you did not know everything, but it was clear you know enough and have enough skill as you’re apart of the 141.
When you were first picked for the team, Ghost was a bit skeptical. Your age played a big factor because he was concerned about your level of experience, but he overall trusts Price’s judgement. A huge part of it was him worried about how you would take in all of the traumatizing sights they see on every mission. How you would be able to take someone down without a second thought, even if they pleaded for their life. He didn’t voice this worry, nor did he do anything to “shield” you because he knows you know what you signed up for.
You physically train/spar with Ghost and Gaz separately frequently. They are different in size and in style of defense/attack, so they both give you great pointers on how to defend yourself and how to initiate an attack. You have a schedule with them; when you’re on base, you train with Gaz Mondays and Tuesdays and Ghosts on Thursdays, preferably early in the morning with Gaz and in the evening with Ghost. Even when you perfect your own style for attack and defense, you keep training with them; “So you don’t get rusty.”
Price knows what you signed up for, and he knows that he picked you, so like everyone else on the task force, he begins to train you. Being an expert in violence and timing—unconventional warfare too, he occasionally sits in on your training sessions with Gaz and/or Ghost. Sometimes, he talks with Gaz or Ghost beforehand to set up a specific scenario for you to find a way to get out of alive.
Being said, Price takes you out as well as the team to a training field, doing the exact same thing but in a more.. realistic scenario. Being so young, he figures you still have an unacceptable type of response with “fight, flight, or freeze”. His plan is to strip away the freeze response because that’s the one that will get you killed. He also very specifically has himself and your teammates as the enemies in this field because while you’re supposed to trust your team with your life, there’s also often betrayal in the field.
Soap is a demolitions expert, as well as a sniper. He absolutely refuses to let you handle real bombs at first because he knows you didn’t specialize in demolitions like he did. After spending a few months with you, he brings out non-dangerous replicas of bombs and replicated parts to begin to show you how to take a bomb apart/defuse it, when it’s best to let it explode, or how to put one together for emergencies. He absolutely 110% makes sure you know it’s for emergencies when he isn’t there. It’s not that he thinks you’re incapable, but he can’t help but worry. Him learning about how Gaz and Price met, how Price only had seconds to shove the hostage with a bomb vest strapped to him over that railing? Fucking terrifying to him.
Gaz also helps you complete your interrogation training—not being the interrogator, but then interrogatee. Undergoing several mentally challenging tests himself of this variety, he tasks himself with giving you pointers. Your task is to keep your mouth shut about intel and escape the facility and remain hidden, uncaptured during the entire test. He’s so incredibly used to uncomfortable situations, so his pointers during this—seeing that he passed this test himself, the only one who past it in his class—his advice is helpful.
Besides training with Ghost, he coaches you ambushes and stealth. Every time you’re caught in a test, he coaches you on how to evade, on how to remain hidden even when the enemy is right in front of you. He teaches you how to set up traps and ruses, what traps are most commonly used and spotted and what ones aren’t.
Overall, they know you’re inexperienced and young, but you quickly take their advice and training into account, and you get to teach them a thing or two when you arrive on base. You learn quick and Price finally feels as if you’re ready for an intense stealth mission, accompanied by the team. They don’t have any doubt held in their hearts for you, 100% trusting your abilities.
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OKAY who wants to hear about why i think nimona challenges amatonormativity? you do! 🫵
one of the main ways this is accomplished is through ballister and ambrosius’s relationship. it’s arguable that it doesn’t necessarily fit the traditional model of romance - not only are they a queer interracial couple, and not only is their relationship ambiguous in the book, but there are certain instances, especially in the movie, that subvert traditional ideas of romance and friendship.
one instance that really stands out to me is when the director asks ambrosius what’s on his mind and he goes on his imagined rant about how arm-chopping isn’t a love language - you know the one. when he mentions ballister, he refers to him as “the man i love, my best friend.” and not just one or the other, but both! the man i love, and my best friend. he places equal emphasis on both the romantic and platonic aspects of the relationship, valuing ballister in both a romantic context and a platonic context without treating either one as more important than the other.
and even moments such as the first “i love you” and the kiss manage to subvert tradition. both of these things are generally seen as a pretty big deal, especially in fiction - if the characters are kissing or saying “i love you,” it’s usually a moment in which everything changes. a line is drawn, dividing the story into after and now. sometimes it’s dramatic and climactic, with fireworks and a swell of music, but even when it isn’t it’s still seen as a turning point of sorts. now it’s official, now it’s real. but this isn’t the case in nimona. both moments are certainly significant - they do a good job of showcasing the character development and where ballister and ambrosius are on their respective journeys, and are certainly important in terms of representation - but neither one follows the path that most fictional romance does.
another way in which nimona challenges amatonormativity would be the emphasis on friendship! in the tavern scene (in the movie) when ambrosius suggests killing nimona, ballister disagrees and says “she’s my friend.” ambrosius replies with “aren’t i more than that?”, implying he’s more important than a friend - thus upholding amatonormative ideas. ballister becomes angry at that and leaves - challenging this idea and prioritizing his platonic relationship with nimona over his romantic one with ambrosius, as nimona is the one he wants to defend.
additionally, a big part of this scene is the way ballister deliberately rejects institute values while ambrosius unintentionally upholds them. and because the story challenges homophobia and transphobia (and other forms of bigotry) through the lens of the institute, it would make sense for it to challenge amatonormativity too! it’s something that’s become incredibly normalized, to the point that lots of people don’t even know it exists, and this is reminiscent of the institute brainwashing, especially when it comes to ambrosius - he’s been manipulated his whole life and probably genuinely doesn’t understand the level to which he’s internalized institute beliefs.
ballister prioritizes nimona many times, actually. when he tells ambrosius she’s “smart, kind, and quite sophisticated,” when he’s overjoyed to see her again at the end, when he refuses to kill her and saves her instead. over and over, he proves how much he cares about her, even when this involves directly going against what ambrosius wants - which, of course, is really what the institute wants. a core tenant of amatonormativity is the false notion that romantic relationships are more important or valuable than other types of relationships, but ballister actively goes against this!
to conclude, as a story that at its core is about identity and challenging societal beliefs, nimona defies expectations and traditional ideas of what it should or shouldn’t be. it’s possible that amatonormativity wasn’t what the creators had in mind, but the story still manages to challenge it with grace and elegance. just like its main character, nimona refuses to conform to what others want it to be.
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olderthannetfic · 8 months
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Being a trans man and not being an anti is also isolating, which is part of why I think trans guys gravitate towards either being an anti or reposting anti posts. If you're not an anti, you get booted from discord servers, blocked on social media at best or sent misgendering rape threats, death threats and suicide bait by other trans men at worst, and now that I'm in college I've found IRL that not being an anti makes a lot of people in queer spaces available to the average college student incredibly uncomfortable. So you have to either be entirely alone - which is very difficult when you're young, queer, and just coming into your own identity - or you have to be around it a lot without saying a word. Agreeing with it at first wouldn't even be necessary. You just have to not say anything against it, and then you'll be able to be around other people.
It doesn't help that most trans men who get sucked into anti circles are teens at the time. There's 501 proposed anti-LGBT laws right now, not counting everything that has passed, the majority of it anti-trans. If you're a teenage boy seeing all this transphobia on the rise, you're going to feel powerless. Bullying people like antis do makes you feel power over at least a few people. Being told you can consume your way into being a good person via media intake makes you feel like you have power and control over at least that.
I was sucked in incrementally because I wasn't exposed to the more violent antis who fantasized about murder and hurting people for writing fiction, I met my only friend - who was an anti - after my dad had beaten me for coming out as trans, and I was sixteen. I got out when I was eighteen because once I went to live with my mom, a psychologist, she gently corrected me when I would say things that aren't based in fact. She pointed out how upset these people were making me. She taught me how to fact-check claims and look into the veracity of claims.
And when I tried to convey to my friends that no, what they were saying wasn't supported, they turned on me. Including the only person who had been there for me when I was hatecrimed, who had reached out to me specifically because she met me what day. I lost every friend I had in roughly 30 hours.
If I hadn't had a really great mom, a very intelligent rabbi who's well-versed in psychology and is a former lawyer who saw the "fiction made me do it" excuse used to defend heinous crimes and doesn't buy it, and an older half-sister who lived through people calling her a psycho lesbian because she's a lesbian who played D&D, listened to metal and dressed Goth in small-town Montana in the 80's/90's, I would have probably killed myself. Having those three people who accepted me and did not accept this extremist rhetoric kept me sane and repaired my self-esteem enough to keep me going.
But a lot of people don't have three adults who are intelligent, supportive, and know better than to fall for this faux-psychology. A lot of people don't even have one. Often, they have unsupportive people who also believe firmly in the faux-psychology of "if you watch a thing you'll do that thing IRL". So there's not only no one hauling them out of this, it's getting reinforced.
Being a non-anti who is a trans man gets me a lot of shit from a lot of people online and offline. (As other anons have mentioned during the ace discourse, online talking points come up on college campuses and in real life, because the internet is not an alternate dimension, it is something being used by the people around you who exist in the same physical space as you.)
A reality that I don't think people want to discuss is that trans men, just like all other people of all other genders, suffer a lot of psychological distress if they're put in a position where they have no support. I sure as fuck wasn't happy being in a position where I went from having tons of online friends, discord servers I could hang out in and fandoms I associated with good vibes to none of that, plus harassment, plus massive misgendering.
It's a lot less awful of an existence to be a trans man and an anti when you're young and need community and support than it is to not be an anti and be isolated. And humans gravitate towards the least awful option 99% of the time.
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Yuuup.
Having some kind of real support network, usually offline but at the very least not randos you met a day ago on discord, is vital and is the difference between not only whether you rot in a pit of antidom forever but in stemming the massive flood of trans teen suicides. The overall queer rates aren't great, but the specifically trans rates... they're bad. They're so, so bad.
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