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bougiebutchbitch · 4 months

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cannot believe that 'yelling at your boss when he repeatedly almost gets you and your crew killed and lies to manipulate you into staying when you try to leave, is not emotional abuse, actually' and 'there is such a thing as a mutually toxic and unhealthy relationship where both parties are incredibly shitty to each other - and this is obviously where Ed and Izzy stand until S2, when it becomes blatantly abusive' is a controversial take. But as this is Abuse Apologism And Ableism, The FandomTM, I really should not be surprised

Just.

I was deep in physically and mentally abusive relationships in my teens/twenties - including relationships that started out with mutual toxicity and bad decisions on all sides, but which became outright physical & mental & other sorts of abuse with myself as the victim. I know my shit.

I suppose I can see where 'Izzy emotionally abused Ed' comes from IF people give literally the most uncharitable interpretation to Every Single Scene, and assume Izzy shouts angrily at Ed and negs him all the time rather than this being how he acts when he's incredibly stressed by circumstance caused directly by Ed and at the end of his fucking rope? Which, as we see in S2... Is not the case.

It's not freaking emotional abuse when you're shouting at your boss who keeps almost getting you and your crew killed. Even if this is NOT a kind or productive way to help Ed deal with his mental health, considering that Ed's actions have consequences that he repeatedly and blithely ignores, it's pretty fucking justified!

It's not freaking emotional abuse if your boss OPENLY LOVES MAIMING PEOPLE AND IS MORE THAN HAPPY TO BURN THEM ALIVE and you encourage that, while upholding his right to not kill with his own hands. Even if he has private breakdowns after the fact because he suffers from black-and-white thinking, dissociates himself from any wrongdoing, and is afraid of his potential to become 'a monster'.

Are these choices helpful? No. Are they kind? No. Is Izzy demonstrating Model Citizen Behaviour? Definitely not.

But it's sure as hell not emotional abuse. And it doesn't justify the physical and emotional abuse Ed puts Izzy through in S2.

Nothing you say can 'make' him hit you. If he chooses to hit you (or... choke you out then repeatedly mutilate you and pressure you to commit suicide and makes you constantly live in fear for your life and the lives of people you care about) he makes that decision himself. Yes, even if you shouted at him first. Yes, even if you were arguing. Yes, even if you were in the wrong in that argument. Yes, even if he has a Tragic BackstoryTM and mental health issues. This shit shouldn't be controversial.

Signed: one of those actual abuse survivors.

#izzy hands #israel hands #the izcourse #ofmd izzy #our flag means death #ofmd #to be clear: I think Izzy was an absolute shitbag in S1!#but. as someone who WAS emotionally AND physically abused just. Idk. The amount of straws people are grasping at #that's... not what emotional abuse looks like. holy shit.#if they were trying to depict that then they frankly did a really bad job lol #I think he was jealous and also worried for himself and HIS crew (who weren't the Revenge crew at that point in time)#I think he egged Ed on. But as we see REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW #ED DOES ENJOY VIOLENCE #HE LOVES A GOOD MAIM #HE BURNS PEOPLE ALIVE #THEN DISSOCIATES - that's what makes his character so fascinating and relatable to me! but he absolutely kills people #he just can't handle the reality of that or what it says about him #Izzy didn't 'make' him do jack shit. S1 is heavily dedicated to showing just how much Izzy never can get Ed to do what he wants #'Ed was afraid of him'?? wtf where do you even GET that from #if anything Ed is afraid of HIMSELF in that final scene. And he has good reason to be!#That self-loathing and fear of the self is INTEGRAL to him! See: when he's ACTUALLY scared of the fucking kraken #Anyway stop making both Ed and Izzy fundamentally boring by making one wholly good and one wholly bad lol #Izzy did bad shit. He got a good redemption arc and died. a lot of his fans are tired of that arc.#Ed did bad shit. He didn't get a good redemption arc and a lot of his fans are pissed about it.

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haespoir · 11 months

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everytime: jjh, mkl.

⨯ pairing: situationship!jaehyun, situationship!mark, reader

⨯ word count: 2.4k

⨯ summary: going back to jaehyun felt natural. a single call from him had you running back. but with enough encouragement, your friends are able to convince you to pursue other people. god, you hated dating in 2023. what the fuck was a situationship anyways?

⨯ warnings: jaehyun loses lol, mentions of drugs (weed) and alcohol, some suggestive content but that’s about it, gn!reader but i used good girl once bc i felt legally obligated im sorry.

⨯ playlist: breathin, ariana grande / everytime, ariana grande / feather, sabrina carpenter

⨯ extra content: texts between reader n mark, jaehyun pov, mark pov

⨯ a/n: i’m going to blame it on the copious amounts of caffeine in my system, so if you see any errors, please ignore it! i definitely have more in mind for this pair, so the chance of this becoming a mini series is possible. i just have adhd and i’m jobless atm so my attention is going everywhere

. . .

Somehow you’ve found yourself once again wrapped in Jaehyun’s embrace; the warmth of his body making you overheat under his blanket. It’s like he’s everywhere. You couldn’t escape his scent even if you wanted to. And it’s not like you wanted to anyways. It had been at least 3 months of whatever you and Jaehyun had going on. Was it friends with benefits? Were you guys exclusive? This was a question that neither of you could answer.

Though if you were cornered into answering it, you knew the answer would be one that only broke your heart. You were his; there wasn’t anyone that you wanted more than Jaehyun. But he was not yours. You knew that he flirted openly with the girls on campus. You had been blown off by him numerous times so he could spend his time with other girls all the time. As long as you were able to hold Jaehyun at night, in your little corner of the universe, you thought it would be okay.

However, that was not the case when his ex-girlfriend came back into the picture. It felt impossible to even get a grip on the male. Even if you knew you had spent the night with him, she would have him again by the time he woke up.

As quickly and quietly as you can, you untangle yourself from his sleeping form, ignoring the way he groans and tries to pull you back into his bed. Your resolve would crumble if he was able to get you back into that bed, and you knew this to be a fact. Once your clothes are back on, you feel the shame settle in your bones. How many times was this going to happen? Did you have any self-respect?

Too many times, by the way. It happened way too many times. The same damn thing. He wouldn’t contact you all day, not until he had the tiniest amount of weed in his system. And then your phone was blowing up.

“Where you are?”

“I need you.”

“I’d give it all just to kiss you right now.”

“Sorry, it won’t happen again. I’ll treat you better.”

“This time I won’t break your heart. I swear.”

How many excuses were you going to let slide by? Each time he did the same thing. It did happen again; he didn’t treat you better. He definitely broke your heart, each and every time. But this time it’s different, not because of Jaehyun though. You’re usually able to escape the apartment before any of his roommates wake up, not this time. This time Mark Lee is seated at the island, a donut and two coffees spread out in front of him. He gives you a shy smile, gesturing to the breakfast. “I got you a donut and coffee when I was out this morning.”

The gesture has your eyes glossy almost instantly, tears threatening to spill over. Jiwon would snort at your behavior. The bar was really in hell, wasn’t it? “Thanks. You didn’t have to,” you say quietly, standing next to his sitting figure.

“I wanted to.” And you can tell he’s being honest. It was no secret that Mark harbored a crush on you; and while you adored the male, you were so stupidly into Jaehyun that you didn’t have it in you to entertain Mark’s advances. You could break your own heart, but you sure as hell weren’t breaking his.

“You don’t have to stay; I know you usually don’t.” His words make you feel even more pathetic, even if you know he doesn’t mean any harm. You thought you were sneaky after leaving the next morning, but Mark knew. He always seemed to know.

So when you get home and Mark’s name lights up on your screen, you swear you won’t fall into Jaehyun’s trap again.

mark [8:30am]: home safe?

you [8:33am]: yea

you [8:33am]: thanks

mark [8:33am]: any time

“It’s like Dua Lipa said,” Jiwon says one night, “If you’re under him, you’re not getting over him.” Her words are met with a pillow to the face and a roll of your eyes, but you know she’s right. It had been 2 weeks, almost half a month, since the last time you had slept with Jaehyun. But practice makes perfect, and when you’re drunk, you have no business practicing anything.

So when you wake up in Jaehyun’s bed, it feels horrible. Even more so when Mark isn’t there with coffee and a sweet treat to make you feel better about your bad decision. And what a bad decision it was.

Because suddenly you’re stuck in the same trap again. Jaehyun’s got you in his sticky grasp, yet he’s always slipping through your fingers when you think you have him. It was unfair. Everyone around you told you this.

“He doesn’t care. Just drop him.”

But you cared.

“You deserve better.”

You didn’t want better; you wanted Jaehyun.

“Stop doing this to yourself.”

You couldn’t stop.

“I love you, but this has gone on way too long. I’m coming over, and we’re going out.”

Now this was something you could do. What was meant to be a girl’s night out, quickly turned into you nearly begging your friends to let Jaehyun to go. But fate seemed to be on the side of your girl’s tonight, Jaehyun’s voice blaring from the speakers on your phone as he tells you he can’t make it.

“Are you seriously not coming, Jae?” He can hear the irritation in your voice, and while he wishes he could say something that would soothe the flame that lights in your heart, he can’t. The sigh he lets out is all you need to hear before you’re spitting out quick profanities and ending the call.

Your friends are met with a blank stare; you were always so different when Jaehyun wasn’t there. It was like the male held your happiness in his hands, and they absolutely hated it. So many times they had sat you down and begged for you to end things with the male. You were on the back burner ever since his ex walked back into the picture, but when he called you high, you were crawling right back.

“You can’t keep going back to him,” Jiwon states, the only friend there brave enough to break the silence. “It’s getting ridiculous at this point. It’s the third time he’s flaked to hang out with her.”

It hurts so bad to know that it’s true. You had given the male multiple chances to hang out with you and your friends this week. And each time he let you down. With a small sigh, you slouch into the arms of your friends. If you couldn’t be in Jaehyun’s arms, this was the next best place to be.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Jiwon says, passing you a red solo cup that you assume is filled with some sort of concoction of soju and juice. “We’re going to pregame, and then when we get to the party, you’re finally giving Mark a chance.” The pointed look she gives you is one you know you can’t argue with. Even if there’s nothing more you’d rather do than lay in bed and wallow in your self-pity, you know your friends want the best for you. And so you do exactly as Jiwon says.

The second you arrive at the party, Mark’s arm is around your waist. It’s impossible to fight the permanent blush that dances across your cheeks at the way he treats you. He’s so sweet, so incredibly sweet that you feel the cavities forming after you’ve pressed multiple short kisses on his lips.

You’ve almost nearly forgotten your relationship with Jaehyun if you could even call it that. It’s not until you hear his laugh, his ex’s laugh echoing just as loud in your mind. Of course, he was here. It was Johnny’s party. He had to be here. He just couldn’t be here with you. It washes the sweetness of Mark out of your mouth, and suddenly you feel yourself on the brink of tears.

As if he can feel the tsunami of emotions you’re feeling, Mark presses another sweet kiss on the corner of your lips. “Breathe.” When you look up at him with glossy eyes, he gently squeezes your hip. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” And for some reason, you trust everything he says. Which is why Jaehyun’s forced to watch as you slip out of the house, one of his best friend’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

And that’s how you find yourself propped up on the hood of Mark’s car in an empty parking lot, a large fry shared between the two of you. You had also gotten a large soda, but Mark had forfeited the drink to you quickly, happy to see you sobering up.

“I’m sorry, by the way,” you say, breaking the comfortable silence.

“What for?”

“For a lot,” you start, thinking about all the times you pretended to not notice the way Mark hovered around you, his eyes seemingly always on you. “But mainly for crying. Ruined the vibe, no?”

Mark laughs at your words, and it squeezes your heart. You had always loved his laugh; it was just so… Mark. You think to yourself that there was nothing you wouldn’t do to hear his laugh. “Don’t apologize. You know I’m always in your court.” There’s a boyish smile on his lips as he speaks, unable to look you in the eye.

You swear your heart is melting. He had always been like this. Firm in his attraction, but always too shy to make a move. So you make the move for him. After a series of brief kisses, the two of you settle down, and time seems to fly with Mark. You guys watch the sunrise from the hood of his car, a spare blanket from his trunk wrapped tightly around the two of you. You had talked for hours, about anything and everything. It felt so natural being with him, nothing like Jaehyun. When he drops you off at home, you’re pressing a soft kiss to his lips. One that leaves him chasing your lips for a second. And a third. He returns home with a promise that you’ll give him a chance, him and only him.

So you can’t blame him when he sends Jaehyun a cheeky text, the lyrics of the song you sang at the top of your lungs on the way home fresh on his mind.

mark [8:20am]: i’m so sorry for your loss bro

Jaehyun doesn’t understand the text for a while. When he doesn’t hear from you for the next two weeks, he thinks it’s just like before. You just need your space, and then you’ll come crawling back. Just like you always do. You understood Jaehyun better than anyone; you never left him for long. He loved that about you.

It’s Tuesday when he finally hears you again. Quickly, he rushes out of his room only to freeze in shock when he sees you under Mark’s arm on the couch. There was no fucking way you had left him for Mark Lee. You were his; you always had been. Mark fucking Lee had no right to have his arm slung over you like that. Not on the same couch where he had spent hours kissing you. “What is this?” he asks, doing his best to not explode on the spot.

“Huh,” you ask, turning to look at him, “that’s our leftovers. You can have some.” You act like he’s talking about the white boxes the two of you had left on the counter. You know that’s not what he means though. But Mark had taken you out on a date this morning, something Jaehyun had never done. The two of you usually went back to your place to avoid running into Jaehyun, but Jiwon had claimed ownership of the apartment for just one day. Something along the lines of the sight of you and Mark making her lovesick. You had rolled your eyes at her dramatics but granted her wish nonetheless.

“Good girl,” Mark whispers against your neck, pressing small kisses along the area. It was a message of encouragement only for your ears, and it was one that had heat spreading across your face. If there was one thing Mark asked of you when you first started talking, it was honesty. So you were honest. You had spent hours in his arms crying about how you loved Jaehyun, and how you felt so guilty towards him. And Mark did his best to comfort you. He always reminded you that he was there; he would teach you how to love him as you loved Jaehyun. Even better, he made sure you loved yourself.

You had no idea how it made Mark feel, seeing you blatantly disregard your past fling as if he meant nothing to you. While he felt bad for Jaehyun, he meant it when he said he felt sorry for Jaehyun’s loss. Being with you was everything that he imagined and more. His heart was full, and he wasn’t going to let Jaehyun rain on his parade.

“Yea, there’s a burger and some fries,” he says offhandedly, sliding off the couch and pulling you with him toward his room. “Enjoy.”

Once the two of you are behind his doors, you burst into a fit of giggles. Whatever confidence Mark had seemed to seep into you as you pulled him into your arms and onto his bed. “You know, he’s probably livid,” you say, carding your fingers through his hair.

“He has no right to be,” Mark scoffs, thinking about the numerous times he had seen you heartbroken over Jaehyun, “we’ll just call it his karma.”

“I feel bad though.”

He nips at the skin on your jaw, the grip he has on your waist tightening. “You’re seriously thinking about another man in my bed? Am I not good enough?” He shifts so that you’re under him, his arms caging you in.

The pout on your lips is absolutely adorable, and Mark swears it takes every fiber of his being to not devour you on the spot. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

“I’ll help you forget about him.” His body is on top of yours, his mouth busy on your neck once again.

“Promise?” your voice almost gives out on you when he begins to nip and lick at the tender skin.

“Promise, babe.”

#guys im losing my mind if i wasnt hyped on caffeine this would be longer #but i am already thinking about fwb jaemin LOL #im also scared of writing big pieces so like... babysteps #mark #jaehyun #nct fic #mark fic #jaehyun fic #mark fluff #mark angst #jaehyun angst #nct scenario #nct scenarios #nct 127 fic #nct dream fic #wtf do i tag idk

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