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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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OC Music Meme

I was tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad , thank you! :D I shall tag (no pressure as always, only if you want to!): @mercurypilgrim , @mimabeann, @rainofaugustsith , @thelastenvoyyy , @a-master-procrastinator and anyone else who wants to do this one, yes, I promise I mean you!

Yaaay another music meme, I LOVE these, as any of my long-term followers/mutuals probably know :P Oh no, Raven what have you done! 🤣🤣

List one or more songs that relate to the following

*drags Rai and her three consecutive playlists full of songs in here and plops her down proudly* Now I’m not joking when I say combined her three playlists would run for ~10 hrs if I played them all back-to-back. Sooooo for that reason I will be trying to restrict myself to 3-4 songs per “question”, except for the last one which is annotated with an explanation there, ANYWAYS!

reminds you of them most:

Down To The Bottom - Dorothy :: This is a very new one to her playlist (discovered a few days ago), but it still vibes so well with Saarai’s attitude to love, and her need to have some sort of emotional closeness to other people, to love and be loved, or else she just doesn’t function quite right

Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats :: This was one of Rai’s first EVER theme songs that made it onto her list as I gave the Ahaszaai the backstory that led to them becoming main characters, so it feels only right that I include it here. To me it perfectly sums up her character progression, from a frightened young woman with a lot of skeletons in her closet and no willingness to be a commander of anything or confidence that she could, to a strong and dedicated leader willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people she works with, and make sure that the person who once took it from her family will suffer the righteous justice he deserves for his actions. Oddly enough, Saarai never goes back to take over the Sith Empire as D’leah planned (in Subterfugeverse anyways), they do eventually “come home” and build something of their own with the other members of the Alliance <3

Bruno Is Orange - Hop Along :: This song is very important too. It makes me feel a lot of things and as I developed more of Saarai’s backstory and began tying everything together, it became an essential part of her backstory. This is 100% a “Saarai Song” in my brain (and I’ve had the script for that meme planned out for over a year, I’ll get to it soon :3), summing up the chaos and her own feelings on what happened with Tsâhis (and her mother and sister’s reactions to finding out about what happened, and Ty, the baby which resulted from that clusterfuck of a relationship)

Someone New - Hozier :: Kinda supplements “Down To The Bottom”, Saarai was a character who puzzled me sexuality-wise for a long time, she has a lot to unpack and a lot of nuances in her attractions, and for a long time (because it is the default for modern media) I tried to shove her in the monogamy box, except...that doesn’t work for Saarai LMAO. I remembered this song existed one day (I think it came up on Youtube shuffle or something) and it was the lightbulb that went on in my head that finally clicked and told me she was actually polyam as well (though ironically I forgot to actually put it in her playlist until @darth-bagel reminded me it existed again a few months ago LOL).

reminds another character of them:

All The Pretty Girls - KALEO :: (Sash - Zephyrverse AU) This one had a few options too, but I think this is the best song that Sash would associate with Saarai. Their relationship was slow burn, although there was near-immediate attraction there, Sash struggled with self-doubt and her own insecurities for a long time, firmly believing that Saarai would get bored of waiting for her to be “ready” to take things further and explore other options (she didn’t. They’ve been married something like 20+, nearing 30 years now, you’re stuck with her sweetie <3)

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy :: (Lana - Subterfugeverse) “I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do.” Lana wasn’t looking for Saarai when she found her, but Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Though Lana is a big pillar of support for Saarai, and Saarai in turn is the social “glue” that holds the Alliance together, what many people don’t realise is that the feeling is mutual and Lana relies upon her just as much. Saarai’s dependable, and trustworthy, even if sometimes she makes Lana want to roll her eyes into the ceiling because of her antics, she wouldn’t want to change her for anything, it’s that part of Saarai that she secretly loves the most because it reminds Lana that it’s okay to unwind and have fun or be silly every once in a while, especially with the people you love.

Shut Up And Dance - WALK THE MOON :: (Koth - Subterfugeverse) Koth’s relationship with Saarai took a lot longer to develop into something openly romantic because Saarai had a lot of stuff to work through before she could accept her own feelings for him, but the cantina party at the end of KOTFE was the moment that Koth realised she was comfortable with him, because it’s the first time she really opened up to him, the first time she asked him to do anything together, and the first time she didn’t flinch or jump away from him when he touched her.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly etc.: I’m taking that as an invitiation to do a song for each of the main ones of any kind and that means this one has like six songs because...Saarai has a lot of influencial relationships in her character arc, I’m sorry (but not really) :’)

Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons :: Saarai & D’leah (Familial, It’s Complicated). This one is probably gonna be the “controversial” song of this post but you know what I’m gonna do it anyway. Saarai and D’leah have a very complicated relationship, because on the one hand Saarai does love her mother very much in spite of the horrible things she said and did, and on the other...the last thing that she wants is to turn out like her. And sometimes, sometimes you gotta call your mom out on her toxic shit. Hey Brother - Aviici :: Saarai & Ni’kasi (Familial Love). “What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you...there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.” The “brother” part does not apply to the twins, gender-wise, but the essence of this song is undoubtedly Saarai & Ni’kasi’s relationship. When Saarai thought she had no-one else, Ni’kasi was there to pick up the pieces and get her back onto her feet. They’re ride or die till the very end, wherever Saarai leads, she knows Ni’kasi will follow her.

Son of A Gun - Lord Huron :: Saarai & Tsâhis (Romantic ”Love”, though I’mma be very clear here that he was a manipulative abusive asshole, but Saarai loved him so...quotation marks. Y’get it yeah? Good.) “Well she fell in love with that son of a gun, but he was not the man that she took him for.” This line in particular sums it up. Saarai was young, naive and a perfect target for someone like Tsâhis to take advantage of because she didn’t know any better and believed him when he said he “loved her”, only for him to pull the rug out from under her feet later on. (he got his tho, don’t worry 😈)

Youth - Glass Animals :: Saarai & Tyûk (Maternal Love). This is the closest I can find to a song that sums up their relationship, I have a lot of thoughts about it but there are very few songs (that I’ve found) that touch upon the essence of Saarai & Ty’s relationship. D’leah chose to blame Ty for his father’s actions, Saarai chose the opposite. She chose to love him in spite of what his father had done to her, and to make sure he grew up feeling safe, loved, and learnt to be better than that.

Curses - The Crane Wives :: Saarai/Sash (Romantic Love) Both Saarai and Sash have had difficult pasts, with a lot of emotional trauma, and they both had hurdles they had to overcome in order for their relationship to truly work and stay healthy. But with each others’ support, they’ve managed it and are all the closer for it. If you asked either of them where “home” was, they’d say the other’s name.

Sorry I Stole Your Girlfriend - Stereo Skyline :: Saarai/Lana/Koth (Romantic Love). Okay, I really really wanted to pick a more serious song from their playlist for them, BUT....this song is the song that started this ship in my brain so here we are. LMAO Originally, this popped into my brain as an idea of Saarai’s response to Koth’s attempt at getting between them in that scene of KOTFE on the Gravestone. Koth and Saarai’s moral compasses are very similar and I wanted them to sit down and have a proper, healthy discussion about their feelings instead of becoming enemies and sort of agreeing not to hold a grudge against each other, though I didn’t expect for that piece to get away from me and for Saarai to end up developing feelings for Koth too, I can’t say I’m unhappy with it. I love them and I will fight anyone who tells me I can’t make them an OT3, I can, I will, and I have. >:) (Healthy Polyam Good, Love Triangles Are Fucking Stupid (tm). No I am not taking criticism on this lmao) Though Saarai & Koth’s relationship isn’t sexual in any way, they love each other just as much as they love Lana, just express it differently. So even though the snideness of this song doesn’t really apply to them, I kept it in their playlist and it also became their ship name because it was too good to pass up, though “Stole” is in inverted commas as it’s definitely more of an inside joke between the three of them than actually seriously accusing them of stealing each others’ girlfriend. 🤣 (as always, Saarai & Koth thinks it’s hilarious, Lana rolls her eyes at the stupid pun but also secretly thinks it’s funny as hell)

#swtor #star wars: the old republic #swtor OCs #tagged meme #OC music meme #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #the outlander #LS! eternal empress #subterfugeverse #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana/koth #saarai x tsâhis #zephyrverse au #saarai/sash #the ahaszaai twins #the sith twins #yes i have written down a lot of stuff regarding the ot3's relationship and how it developed etc #one day i will throw them out into the world when i feel like they're ready #but they're not ready yet so sorry y'all you gotta wait #but trust me when i say this is very elaborately planned out #LMAO #[banging pots and pans] they're. poly. and. in. love. fucking. deal. with. it. or. leave #my ships my rules #complicated mother daughter relationships are complicated #projection? i don't know her #no sir #tw: manipulation #tw: abusive relationship

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

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Song: Braille - Regina Spektor (which is not owned by me, this video is not made for profit and I earn nothing doing so. Do not copyright me pls JSGYUDGDYTFG)

I don’t own SWTOR but I do own the art and my characters. Don’t trace, copy, or repost. Reblogs are appreciated! <3

This is why I’ve been quieter this week, I’ve been working on a thing! :’ D

Let’s hope [tumblr] doesn’t cancel me for the lyrics having the V-word in them 😐

Anyway ~ Some actual content/illustration for part of Saarai, Ty and (eventually) Ni’kasi’s shared backstory ✨✨ It’s a little heavy/depressing, but a defining moment for both of the twins so I really wanted to start with this one!

Baby Ty was my favourite frame to draw, hands down. Look at the little pink potato. He’s adorable. Precious babey.

Yes, baby Purebloods are born pink. I headcanon they don’t darken out/develop their full pigment until late childhood to early teen years ;)

“So she named the baby Elvis” - this is semi-literal. Saarai wanted to choose a good name for him as opposed to naming him something negative, so neither of them would be weighed down by what his father had tried to do. So she named him “Tyûk” which is the High Sith word for “Strength” :’D

I didn’t mess up the proportions in the last frame, I promise (I’m sure they aren’t 100% perfect, my style never is XD)...Ty was a very, very tiny baby (and he’s still pretty small by their species’ standards. Side effects of the stress etc. that Rai was under while she was pregnant with him

“To make up for the royalty he lacked.” - The broken crown is a sledgehammer-worthy “subtle” hint that should be pretty obvious to anybody who’s been on the blog for a while and/or read my other Pureblood lore/worldbuilding posts! Go have a look if you don’t know, should be pretty easy to figure out 🤭

“But Elven what happened? Why is she a single mother?” - You’ll have to skulk through the rest of the blog for lore tidbits and/or wait for the next animatic to find out mwahahaha

I don’t know when I’ll finish the full thing, I have another minute or so worth of song to make images for, but hopefully sometime soon! I have a lot of art stuff planned for the future so hopefully you should see stuff like this (and/or more coloured, or coloured/shaded and backgrounded artwork) popping up on my blog from now on!

Boy it feels good to have my art mojo back :’3

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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OTP in a GIF meme!

Another super fun meme, thanks for the tags @actualanxiousswampwitch & @rainofaugustsith! :D I shall tag @walk-ng-d-saster , @kyber-heart , @a-muirehen and @elaphaemourra , if you feel like it, no pressure! And anyone else who wants to, consider this a tag! Yes, I promise I mean you ;)

because I have no self control....most of my ships XD

for Subterfugeverse

Aria/Vano:

Ni’kasi/Andronikos:

Saarai/Lana/Koth:

and the (reverse!)Zephyrverse AU(s):

Kissai/D’leah:

Saarai/Sash:

Ni’kasi/Jask:

Shakkai/F’eiyaa:

and a bonus for Saarai x Tsâhis because even tho I wasn’t specifically looking for one for them, this one came up whilst I was searching for the others and it’s perfect D:

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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3, 4 and 13 for Saarai, asking for a friend owo -- darth-bagel sends their regards ❤️✨

from the numbered headcanons asks, here: [x]

thank you for the asks, @elvhenyoung as always! For a friend, huh? Rai would like to know said friends name ;3 jk jk, here you go, picking all the interesting/spicy ones I see 👀

3. Scars or painful spots

(art is by @varjopihlaja ofc ^^)

So, she has a decent amount of them! Saarai’s not littered in scars like say, Kas, but she has a fair few. The most immediately obvious ones are the two on her face, she has a long, diagonal scar cutting across her lip and chin, which came from struggling with Tsâhis during The Incident Which We Shall Not Name. The one cutting across her nose came from her mother, D’leah lashed out during an argument after finding out about Tsâhis (and Ty) and left both the girls with marks as a result. The scar on her lip can sometimes be quite painful and is easily liable to split back open again if she gets smacked in the face (or gets too overzealous with her kissing 👀) just because of where it is, but usually it doesn’t bother her too much.

Don’t cancel me tumblr this is an informative diagram there’s no anatomical parts showing k thanks

The rest are on her torso and are usually pretty well hidden under her clothes, but she has quite a few almost claw-like marks across her throat/chest and collarbone (also from Tsâhis and yes you should go beat his ass he deserves it), she also has a slightly “fresher” (saber) burn above/across her heart (through and through out the other end of her back) and one on her right shoulder. In the Zephyrverse AU RP, these come from Tsâhis’ brother, Naalush (who I will be talking about in another ask comin’ up - possibly in the morning bc it’s kinda late oops - so hang tight ;) ) but in Subterfugeverse the scar on her heart comes from Vaylin’s lightning (Vano fights Arcann, Saarai fights Vaylin ;3) and then the shoulder scar comes from Senya, during the confrontation on Voss where Arcann dies. Vano kills Arcann, Senya tries to go for Vano to “protect” him, Saarai intercepts and gets a saber in her shoulder for her troubles, but beats Senya in the end and they yeet her out of the Alliance and tell her to “GTFO and never come back” :’ ))

The heart scar can bother her at times and usually she doesn’t like people touching it unless they have to, and while the scars on her throat don’t hurt anymore, she’s very uncomfortable letting anybody touch them (even Lana won’t. Sash can, but at this point she and Sash have been together for a good couple decades so she’s gotten to build up a lot more trust with her, she might get there with Lana one day too, we’ll see <3)

4. Best places to kiss on their body

The spurs on her jaw or the ridges on her throat and chest are particularly sensitive (but she has to trust you enough to let you touch them, though if you’re kissing them then presumably you meet that requirement XD), be careful tho, the ends of those spurs are kinda sharp and pointy!

13. What gets them flustered?

cause I’m not 100% sure which version of “flustered” this is referring to I’ll cover both! :D

In the embarrassed sort of way: funnily enough, for Saarai, not an awful lot, actually! She’s a very open sort of person, she’ll say what’s on her mind (including any innuendos, yes. Sash and Lana both sometimes wish she would not XD) without a second thought of being “embarrassed” about it, you asked after all! hahaha

In a frustrated or overwhealmed sort of way: A lot easier. Saarai’s not particularly intellectual. I make a lot of “she only has three braincells and none of them are for critical thinking” jokes, but that’s because for Rai it’s very much true. She just doesn’t have the ability to intelligently plan and think things through, she’s very instinctual and emotional and if you give her any sort of complex puzzle (or a battle with too much tactics and a lot less “steamroll these guys into the fucking ground”) and she’ll very quickly start to feel overwhealmed and get flustered.

#Q&A with the crew #OC asks #oc headcanon asks #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #LS! eternal empress #the outlander #also yes in this verse senya doesn't get killed bc i'm sorry but that is Dumb and i refuse to stick to that #i do respect not wanting her around (and honestly neither vano nor saarai do at that point XD) but hell can't she just l e a v e #rai isn't easy to fluster but you're welcome to try #[wink wink nudge nudge]#XD #swtor #star wars: the old republic #thank you for asking!#elvhenyoung #darth-bagel #tw: scars #tw: mention of injury #not my art #varjopihlaja #elven's art #i guess i can call it that???#i drew it a while ago and it took me like 30 mins literally i just wanted to illustrate where her torso scars are #bc generally you won't see them she tries to wear clothes that cover them bc she doesn't want to talk about them rlly #:')#tw: past trauma #tw: past abuse #i've probably gone overboard with the trigger warnings but i'd rather be safe LMAO #long post

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

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Saarai for love headcanons?

The other twin and my unashamed new favourite, I could talk about her all day tbh! Thank you for asking! :D

From this ask game: [x]

Trigger warning: brief mention of past trauma/assault (I guess, I’m never sure what to tag it as but I think thats the best thing to call it), emotional manipulation and gaslighting in the fourth and third-from-bottom question(s) - regarding past relationships and effect on current ones. Nothing is described in detail but it is mentioned, so if this is triggering or otherwise upsetting to you please skip that part or this ask/answer entirely. I won’t be offended, and because of this I’m gonna toss the text under a read more just as an extra precaution, stay safe! <3

Everything else is pure unadulterated fluff to make up for everything else bad I’ve/they’ve done to her tho :’3

When they discover they’re got a crush: Fully embraces it and rolls with it, she’s a romantic at heart (and also needs to go to horny jail a fair bit of the time), crushes are a wonderful, exciting thing to her. Daydreams a lot. Will give it a go and test the waters nearly immediately (depending on some factors ofc), but backs off equally as quickly if they seem uncomfortable or otherwise uninterested by her advances.

How they confess/hint: Makes quite the nuisance of herself, always popping up to check on them, wanting to sit near/be around them, chatters about anything and everything she can think of, plenty of flirting including anything from more chaste compliments on things she likes about them, to subtle and/or not-so-subtle innuendo at times, depending on what they’re most receptive to.

Big gestures of love: Cuddles (she can be the clingiest lover known to the galaxy and her octopus arms are inescapable XD) and/or kisses, even if it doesn’t lead to the bedroom, long walks together, picnics in the wilderness, listening to each other and talking things out (whether to do with their relationship or something else that either one is struggling with and needs support for, and this goes both ways), sitting quietly when they don’t feel like talking “just so she knows they’re there”, falling asleep together

Little gestures of love: Flirty banter, inside jokes, pet names, stroking or playing with her hair (she purrs and leans into it like a cat, her partners like to joke that she’s a “Cathar trapped in a Pureblood’s body” because of this), silly “arguments” over whose turn it is to do the chores (though she sulks when she loses and her partner insists on doing said chore(s) instead of letting her do them XD), tucking their head under her chin when they cuddle

How to win their heart: Be honest, respect for boundaries, communication, communication, communication, including calling her out on her shit if she says or does something that upsets/bothers them and be clear about what (so she can fix it and hopefully not repeat whatever it was a second time)

How to break their heart: Lie to her, or try to manipulate her for your own gain. No respect for boundaries she tries to set and trying to push her into something she doesn’t want, or even letting her do that to you because you weren’t brave enough to say something - she wants you to tell her these things, she’ll never be angry if you tell her “no”, no matter what or when, but she will be heartbroken if she finds out she did something that hurt you because she didn’t pick it up and you didn’t tell her it was hurtful.

Tiny little turn-ons: subtle little touches like a hand on her knee under the table, flirty banter again, sideways glances and holding eye contact for a moment before looking away and pretending it was accidental, tracing patterns across her knuckles or the back of her hand while she holds theirs, dancing closer together than is necessary just to have as much contact between them as possible

Big turn-ons: Husky voices, even if you’re only saying her name, fingertips or kisses brushed along her jaw spurs (if she’ll let you touch them), nips/nibbles between kisses, whispered or purred words against her skin, leaning in for a kiss only to pull away at the last second and make her go to them instead

Things that make their heart flutter: Standing up for yourself, even if it means yelling at her when she’s being stupid (and sometimes especially then), coming to her defence when you think she needs it, seeing someone she cares about genuinely happy and enjoying themselves for whatever reason, excitement when talking/telling her about their favourite thing

Their type: Shorter than her, reserved and soft-spoken but also able to hold their own when it’s necessary. Playful and open to joking around and bantering (without being hurtful about it)

Ideal date: Anything at all. She’s not fussed as long as she’s with someone she loves. It can literally be “sit on the sofa and eat takeout”, as long as they’re together it’s perfect. For something lighthearted and “fun” while still going out, a karaoke bar will always be a hit. ;)

Past relationships:

Ty’s father, Tsâhis: In both verses/renditions, though not her first experience with a man, he was her last physically intimate one, and her first experience with a long-term relationship. Unfortunately it was not a good one. Without going into too much detail about it: he was emotionally manipulative, pushy, gaslit her constantly and essentially blackmailed her to keep her in the relationship so he could trick as much information as he wanted out of her, he didn’t care about her at all, only about what she could give to him and about the fact he could boast that he had a pretty lady on his arm that would do whatever he asked her to do. It ended very badly when she finally realized that wasn’t what real love was and tried to leave him and he tried to kill her so she couldn’t leave and . She fought back and survived (obviously), but it’s left her with a lot of emotional (and physical - most of the scars on her body and the main one on her lip come from that struggle) scarring.

Xerid Ferral: exclusive to the Zephyrverse AU, as they wouldn’t cross paths in Subterfugeverse. Xerid was the alternate Wrath for that verse/timeline and Saarai’s only other long-term relationship (other than Tsâhis) before Sash. While it wasn’t toxic like Tsâhis was, it was certainly unhealthy due to being fairly one-sided. Saarai loved Xerid but, although she was loyal to Saarai because of her family name and her connection to D’leah, the feelings were not reciprocated and Xerid viewed the relationship very much as “I’m protecting you because I swore an oath to do that but the sex is just a bonus and there aren’t any emotional feelings attached”. Xerid later dies to protect Saarai and Vano during a fight so that ends the relationship and after grieving for a while she starts getting closer to Sash and eventually ends up with her, although if Xerid had lived they would have again gone their separate ways (though more amicably) once Saarai and Sash met, because Sash is able to give Rai the kind of relationship she wants and Xerid wouldn’t have held that against her either.

Various other one-night stands, all women, and none particularly worth mentioning. She never trusted any of the others enough to stick with them longer than needed to scratch an itch.

How they might affect current relationships: Tsâhis in particular has had quite an effect on her relationships, because of the things that happened on that night, she just can’t be intimate with men, it’s not something she’s comfortable ever doing again after that. In fact it takes her a long time to trust men as anything other than an acquaintance, much less romantically; Koth becomes an exception to this as thanks to his easygoing and empathetic nature and the fact that he never pushes her into anything she doesn’t agree to, she does end up trusting him and developing quite a deep emotional bond with him. It took her a long time (and in fact the party in the cantina at the end of KOTFE is the first time she really starts to properly relax around him and the first time she’s comfortable doing typical “couple-y” things with him like holding hands or cuddling up with him) and although they’re never physical in that way, in some ways she’s a lot closer to Koth than she is to Lana because he’s just easier to talk to about those sorts of things.

It affected her relationship with Sash in the Zephyrverse AU too, though not quite as extensively because Sash is a woman, but there were a lot of times early on in their relationship where Saarai overreacted to simple little gestures or touches because of a flashback and they both had to learn to adapt to that; Sash had to learn what was and wasn’t okay, Rai had to learn to trust Sash and realise that she wasn’t trying to hurt her. They do eventually get through it together, but it was a big challenge for them in the beginning <3

‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc): Marriage is a nice end goal, but what’s most important to Saarai is a healthy relationship built on mutual trust (both when together & apart, she’ll worry and she understands they will worry about her too, but there shouldn’t be unhealthy levels of suspicion or distrust) and regular communication.

Any other love headcanons: Always says “I love you” to her partner(s) before they a) separate for different missions or b) go into battle, just in case she or they don’t come back and it’s the last thing they ever remember her saying to them.

#Q&A with the crew #oc asks #oc love headcanons #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #tw: past trauma #tw: past abuse #tw: past assault #her backstory is one of the heavier ones i'm sorry #but it's a big reason why CURRENT saarai is so soft and considerate and fluffy with her partners #so here you go here's like...most of the tea on that #i hope it doesn't depress everyone too much #i think all the other fluff balances it out nicely huh #anyways i love her and it makes me stupid happy to write about her being happy and in healthy relationships now #pauletta-00 #thank you for asking!

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