#sad is also frustrated tbh

[b4kuch1n]

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?

#ask #bakuspeech #I am joking to be clear lmao #thank u happy bday to me !! #tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me #cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly #so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around #I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know #I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited #and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead #and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak #listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story #it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao #but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol #it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did #I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u #lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here #the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games' #my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[genderjester]

It truly is nobody's fault but my brain has such a deeply annoyed kneejerk response when someone overexplains something very simple i already know to me. Even if i know they mean well. But it always makes me feel like the other person sees me as childish or stupid 💀 Same with some ways some ppl go awww at me like im not a dog. Anyways this is something i just need to figure out how to communicate but its just something that frustrates meeeeeee.

#nobody on here obviously i wouldnt post this here if that was the case #also. one person where its like weve seen each other a few times in group settings and we hung out twice just us two #and i like this person but. #respectfully. sometimes she acts just a bit overfamiliar in a way that grinds. my gears. and this is my responsibility to communicate obv #but for a minute i need to vent my frustration on here asbngnsk #its just kinda. i know its meant well when shes like oh u can always call me if youre feeling depressed and stuff. #and i appreciate the gesture #but also. gonna be real. we're not really at the point where im like comfortable spilling my heart #and idk. i dont need aww🥺 when i feel depressed im not sad depressed im angry and empty and frustration depressed #anyways that is it for me complainingggg #it's my job to communicate these things. #bc obv ppl cant intuit these things if i dont tell them #and tbh its also. week before my period so my brain is extra cranky. but idk i just. as i said. needed to vent some feelings. sigh #sel talks

[minnaci]

i truly think some folks on here would rly benefit from sitting with themselves and their willingness to dismiss posts / fics with low interaction count as "flops". like yes i love the Look At My Flop Posts Boy energy we have going but also i have quite frankly never posted a flop in my life bc all of my posts are bangers to ME

#thinkmin! #when i say 'some folks' im not talkin abt moots / friends / followers but more just ppl i have seen in the wild #to everyone reading this tho: every single post is a banger if u label it so in ur mind #ur 100k note shitpost is a BANGER. ur 0 note 150k slowburn fic is a BANGER also can u give me tips on how to write something that long #idk it just makes me sad a little bit to see ppl getting discouraged and putting themselves down and diminishing their work #bc of some Metrics on some App #my qualifications to talk abt this r i have Never posted a flop post in my LIFE and i also have never had a fic get over 1k notes #idk. i know it's easier said than done. in no way am i diminishing fic writers' frustrations w lack of interaction—ive been there too tbh #ig my point is like. all posts r bangers ESP if u put ur time n effort n love into it and it brought u joy

[daeyumi]

The way you do color is absolutely breathtaking

waaaaaaaa thank u so much!!!!!! 🥹😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 one of my absolute favorite things about painting is using fun colors & it makes me so happy when other ppl enjoy them too!

#answering asks #asks #rambles #tbh idek rly how i’m gonna tag asks in the future lol i’m still a bit new to this (tumblr) #anyways i love using colors that i think r delicious #which is also why i find lineart/pen sketches/etc so tedious bc colors r such a big part of setting the mood of a piece for me #& if i can’t use them almost immediately after starting a piece i get sad or frustrated

[aroacettorney]

perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔

#for a happy ending of a story to be narratively satisfying the characters gotta actively work hard for it #this happy ending feels empty because quite frankly speaking ludger did nothing to deserve it #he has zero character developments from the beginning to the end and has always been the same #well except for his emotional state getting worse over time #bc instead of making any attempt at all to healthily address it like a mentally mature 40yo adult he let it swallow him whole #(not that im necessarily blaming him but its quite frustrating to see him remain unchanged if aup is meant to be a redemption story) #his OPness is inherent #his genius is inherent #(this is not to say he isnt hardworking / only relying on his inborn talents but the author repeatively failed the 'show dont tell' checks) #(bc it was only implied in the past and we've never truly seen it in the canon present timeline either) #his kindness is inherent #ngl dad!ludger content doesnt appeal to me as much as dad!edgeworth cuz the latter is the fruit of the character's growth and hard labor #while the former is well... its just who he is #usually i love found family content but in aup it bores my mind out bc his interactions w the students + owens are so static & predictable #it was heartwarming at the moment of adoption but later on i find it as tedious as reading generic established romantic relationships #was it because of the lack of tensions and conflicts i wonder #they all became his yes men and no one ever actively challenged his unhealthy mindset or behaviors #anyway id have been more interested if he recognized his biases/favoritism/prejudices towards some certain characters & worked to change it #but welp. that would require character growth which is too much to expect from him ig #he has learnt quite nothing from his journey and tbh aup would ironically feel more meaningful if it ended on a tragic note #ofco i got noblesse'd again 😔 #would i kill for aup to have a happy ending? yes #would i rather have a sad ending over the half baked and empty good ending we get? also yes #if it must burn then let the whole world burn. cuz at least it would be more much memorable and impactful that way #and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup </2 #rant

[glitterock]

the way some ppl talk about age gap relationships between consenting adults is so dumb and brainless tbh

#absolutely no nuance or shades of gray or critical thinking exists for some people it’s so frustrating and sad #u cannot just call everything grooming like that’s not ok and take the intensity away from actual victims of grooming #like one time a friend of mine who isn’t really my friend anymore tbh told me i was being groomed bc i kissed someone at a club. #how is that grooming please tell me how #also not to mention the most toxic ppl i’ve been with have been my age and the healthiest entanglements i’ve had have been age gap ones

[aceofstars16]

Ugh, I want to write but also just...don't want to do anything at all...

#like i know why but it's frustrating #because i know it's probably for the best #but i'm still disappointed you know? #i think it's probably because i'm aching for connection tbh but i know online isn't the place to find that #but i don't know how to get it in person either #so i just feel stuck and lonely and not sure what to do so that's fun.... #and also like...i will probably try out to create but also...i feel like i shouldn't expect much (aka getting in or even being a backup) #just cause i don't even have that much confidence in my work...like I like it but does that mean other people would chose it? debatale #which is also a sucky feeling to have ugh #plus my motivation has been so off and on it's like...helping out seemed easier to do than committing to create #but at the same time yesterday i literally said i shouldn't be a mod because my mental state has been so crap #which is like...why i know it shouldn't effect me that much but i'm still disappointed and i'm tired of being disappointed i guess #anyways a lot of venting there i'm just kind of sad #but i also want to write and know i need to draw... #but i don't really want to draw and writing is kind of just reminders of what happened so....ughhh #aceo rambles

[running-in-the-dark]

it has to be said though, I had a lovely rest of the day after my breakdown this morning. it was very cathartic. painted for like eight hours after that, and had a good time doing it.

#also watched Sad Boyz for... well that entire time tbh #maybe that also helped. probably. Jarvis in particular is always incredibly calming to me. I relate to him so much so it helps when he says #something very eloquent about his feelings or whatever. idk it's just good #big feelings day today I guess #alsooo had a......... long shower... for the first time in a month/since I've been here. if you get what I'm saying. because I'm #uncomfortable saying it lol. anyway that... also helped #removed a lot of the way-too-horny anxiety lol. #annnnnyway no one needs to know that but whatever 💖 #then I rewatched the night court episode with the law club where Dan is really just. selfless. and does something so nice for Christine #man I love that episode #he's my good boy. I could totally fix him and show him that he isn't the worst person on earth. that'd be fun #it'd fix me too tbh #or we could make each other worse 💖 I'd be okay with that too #anyway it's bed/daydream time. so that'll be fun haha #it is very frustrating that I can only realise things about myself and my own life through fictional characters and random guys. but #whatever I'll take what I can get #personal

[yousaytomato]

I've really enjoyed Dracula Daily, like legitimately some of the best times I've ever had on Tumblr, or the internet

but damn -

the immense guilt and shame I've felt the last couple of months for falling behind, has really marred the entire experience - made only worse by knowing it's entirely my own fault, and also that it's such a stupid thing to be upset about, and yet, I still am 🤷‍♂️

#if you do relate genuinely we can all cry together about it #i think it's reminded me of uni a little bit #i know that keeping to deadlines and my inability to do so #is something that really frustrates me 😭 #i loved it so much when i was up to date #and i feel so so awful to be behind #especially because i did catch up!! and then fell behind again #and tomorrow is the end :/ #idk. im feeling sad in general the last couple days #i feel like im teetering on the edge of a big cry / breakdown #so a lot of things that would normally bounce off are upsetting me a little lately #im also feeling immensely guilty about some other things so thats kind of contributing to everything else #and stress of the new job i guess #which genuinely is not currently that stressful but i feel like it will be soon #and tbh just interacting with some of the people and being in a new environment is kind of stressful #and the long days and travelling and early morning's and damn. this got off track #huh. #woes of emily #Dracula Daily #main tagging because i feel like others may relate #there's always next year lol

[nulltune]

(read from right to left!) i'm just sitting here wondering if someone could have this kind of realization with hakuno.............. because it Is true that hakuno is incredibly patient and compassionate, would extend a hand to anyone if she senses that they're suffering in any capacity and is endlessly kind and forgiving ;_; fate extella materials even revealed that fem!hakuno in particular was made to have the image of a "pure holy maiden" but that's really what it is! just an image. truth is, hakuno's no messiah and she's far from perfect! just a regular ordinary person

aaand as for my take 😳 she's someone who's been looked down/belittled/mistreated by pretty much everyone she's met, so she tries to keep a strong front so that she won't be the weak and pathetic bug she'd always been called. someone who's scared of being alone and abandoned so she tries her best, obsessively cares for others rather than herself because that's her way of coping with the existence she feels she isn't deserving of. has a subconscious feeling to prioritize others to feel like she has value and because really, it's only under that condition that she'd feel worthy of receiving the human companionship she desperately wants :,) you come to realize that she's,,, pretty flawed! but does that really make her unworthy of being loved and cared for </3 well.....she sure thinks it does VDNVDJSGSXHDK

#mmmrrgGHHH H.AKUNO.... COMPLEX #but yea h.akuno is a character with a lot of dualities so it's hard 4 me 2 explain without ripping my hair out in frustration #CDNVNDMVNDNC #also pls this girl (k.okoa🥺) just continues to be so h.akunocore in the way she's written and behaves and i'm just #sCREAMINGGGGGGG #&&. hcs #i shove this into my hc tag bc......... idk why rlly but i jst Want to #👁👁✨️ #this has been a discovery tbh and it's that lynn has a type and it's soft sad girls

[misterradio]

^ i like esmond's silly nature i hope nothing bad happens to him ::-)

#he puts smiley faces in his emails... how can i not love him.... #original nonsense #personal #also i like the random character details from an email that says esmond is overly self critical. hes just like me fr ! #all these characters are pretty cool tbh which is a shame bc theyre antagonists and probably going 2 die or something. #they put all their diversity and coolness into the evil group. SAD. although tbh we dont see anyone from encom hardly at all (also sad) #eva makes me frustrated just bc i have no idea what accent theyre going for with her. Shes Vaguely European I Guess. #anyways. caption is sarcastic i know these guys are screwed

[bingobongobonko]

cannot trust my own thoughts after 9 pm that is the rule, so im gonna shut that shit off. im talkin too much today, too much on the mind tho so makes sense. Man. idk man. again, dont trust your thoughts at night but also. Man. i feel like a disappointment in every regard. i think of all the immigrant kid stories and i feel like i pale. idea that you gotta work hard in school and get a good job to give to your family, i see it a lot and its really cool. i thought i could do it too, but i kinda failed big. i mean i try to provide, i do, but it feels like nothing. these like. super cool smart people with a big future, and then im here just like. drawing. yk. and im not even like studio worthy art, im just some guy who dicks around. ykwim. shrug. i should try harder to livebut also sometimes i wonder why we even came to this stupid fucking country. i guess the promise of a future. not an excuse to not do better idk, im just cynical rn. idk. what future. idk. idk

#fool's monologue #mad and bitter. its not in vain. ig im just frustrated with what ive done so far #which is nothing #again this is the most cynical view of it. look. my mom gave up alot for me and i am giving up a lot for her and we are giving to each oth #r a lot nowadays #even if i feel like a disappointment my mom doesnt make me feel like that anymore. we just do. we just do with what we got and thats ok #but i cant help but feel guilty of a future i robbed her of #my life is a panicked frenzy and i am just grabbing whatever pieces i can to make SOMETHING #anyway dont trust ur life after 3 am. im going to bed. i dont care. im doing my best. fuck it #im just sad lol. i want to feel proud of myself and what i do. i want to like myself #i will stop being so negeative... gn.... do not trust yourself after 3 am.. #also afterthought but #if succeeding in this country means betraying my folks then. eh.fuck mayve i dont wanna be successful. #like i dont even want this place to exist as it is currently. now why am i. in my right mind wanting to be succesful in a country as sordid #and imperialistic and genocidial as this #make it make sense brayan #snap out of it #tbh better train of thot #instead of wanting to leave i shuld be wanting to change this place for the better where it can #see thags more positive way of loooking at it

[catullansparrowlet]

Life surely is something. I cannot believe I forgot that.

#personal #That's the saddest thing about my 12 year depression tbh #Sure I managed to set myself back a huge amount when it comes to becoming a person #and I would've spent less time feeling lost in life if I hadn't lost any and all sense of self #but the absolute saddest thing is that I forgot and managed to miss out on how full of life life can be #It's so full of everything! Deep sadness and overwhelming happiness and peace and turmoil #It's hard and unfair and so so beautiful #it's beautiful and breathtaking and sometimes it's breathtaking in how painful it is too #but it's rich so rich #and I managed to forget that #Sure I hurt and I grumble and I'm frustrated and angry #but I also experience peace #and joy and I find comfort even in the worst I've experienced thus far #as of right now my worst regret is tied to grief and whilst him dying will never be a good thing #I find comfort in knowing that I was So Loved. So Cared For. and that by one of the most extraordinary people in life. #So I wouldn't have that pain any other way. It's merely a sign of how great it was. It hurts because I have something great to hurt over #I just wish he could've known back then how I turned out. He's always wanted me to be well and he never got to see it. #Although I do suspect he knew something. In retrospect he knew a lot more than either of us realised at the time. #I just hope he truly got to feel it #Anyway. Ramble over because we're veering into overly personal waters #I just... life is A Lot- and I wouldn't want to be blind to that ever again

[canisvesperus]

:D

#I need to. APPRECIATION POST FOR MY BFF #who I love very much #and doesn’t have tumblr so I’ll gush here lol #I think the root of a lot of my problems with former friends boils down to them not having similar lived experiences as me #no idpol but tbh it does not lend them to having as much of a potential to really empathize with me and understand my individual struggles #to be quite frank it REALLY boils down to white friends with their white fragility and virtue signaling #who just cannot be bothered to do something with their privilege when the time comes for them to make a choice that impacts the rest of us #because suddenly they don’t want to rock the boat or get involved in an argument or ohhh it’s just so complicated and confusing :/// #where did your punch a nazi energy go? all of your posturing and self proclaimactions of allyship were ultimately bullshit get over yourself #okay enough venting let’s get to the point: it is so refreshing beyond words to have another Indigiqueer who you can trust #and who can intimately fathom all of this frustration I have had to deal with… #I have always gotten on well with other first gen immigrants but that does not mean we have the same experiences beyond a surface level #we’re both autistic similar interests similar politics even similar experiences with wrestling historical/colonial identity #bff is even vegan and we always talk about cooking our precolonial dishes for one another since they are usually plant based :D #mutual and intense hatred of spain and france as colonial powers is cathartic too and idk just so interesting to see how it has left a mark #on both of our cultures in very similar ways despite being otherwise pretty different and an entire ocean away… sad that many things we have #in common are results of having the same colonizers… okay I said I wouldn’t VENT DAMN!!! anyway I feel understood completely #and it’s super AWESOME and we spend lots of time together every day and broo healthy communication and boundaries for once in my life!!!! #former friends could never holy shit… we can trust each other with anything and it’s so great and conversation is effortless stress free #bff feels the same way and tells me all the time it makes me so :D!!! also my bff is super smart and I’m always learning new things #I think I always missed out on the best friend experience bro let’s not even get into the first and only one prior… but THIS. yep this is it #the fact that we both already agreed on so many things and shared so many interests upon the first few conversations was unbelievable lucky #divine intervention or something because I never go out of my way to make friends and poof. new friend starts talking to me out of nowhere #I love my best friend!!! sorry if you’re a yt who truly puts in the effort but the bar has been drastically raised #I’m no longer settling for mediocre white people who look to me for validation get your ass out of here for REAL I’m SICK of y’all 💀💀💀💀💀 #genuinely fuck you get out of my sight I do not have the patience any longer! btw any of my current white friends reading this ur cool dw 👍 #if you weren’t cool you’d be gone long before this dissertation lol… #feeling so honored and thankful every day :) really really happy :D I hope everyone like me feeling isolated and alone right now finds #someone like this! mind blowing how I stayed sane in the past having been surrounded by unsavory characters sheesh… #ven talks

[theloveinc]

tags are actually not a bad take i agree 100% with it and it’s nice to know i’m not the only one who’s been thinking it :’) i too have lots of hot take about the xreader community esp from the reader pov but i’m trying to choose peace lol

(don’t have to respond to this necessarily, just wanted to let ya know you’re not alone!!!)

❤️❤️❤️❤️

#was vagued by the person i vagued so i don't want to incite anything more bc i truly do like and respect them #and want that to continue #but i appreciate this anon! #it really just makes me sad when the community is divided by things i don't think should necessarily be minded #i just want us all to have a good time #and think these issues would be solved if we ALL had more appreciation for each other #readers to writers but also + especially vice versa as well #as interaction from readers is really what makes us thrive! #and getting mad and frustrated is no way to spark the connection that creates it... even if understandable #but yes lmfaooo i probably agree w/ ur opinions tbh bc ... i have a lot more #and im a bit tired of sitting on my hands abt it #ANYWAY LOL BEFORE I SAY TOO MUCH #love to u and i hope u find a safe space here!! u have one w/ me ofc always <333 #peace is ... usually the best way #idk LOL but i agree w/ that (usually) #but thank u for saying u agree... it means a lot #caitie answers #anon