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killedbykellers · 4 years

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Reasons Why I Don’t Like Barchie

Let me start off by saying that I don't really have a ship for any of the teens really. There are some that I like more than others and there are a couple that are 100% my NOTPs (Barchie being one of them), but I'm not a Bughead stan, a Varchie stan, a Beronica stan, a Choni stan, etc. I mainly focus on the plot and the parents. Ships aren't my main focus most of the time. But I haven't been able to watch this season since Barchie got so much bigger and I'll tell you why.

When I started to watch Riverdale, I was 100% in Betty's shoes. I had a big crush on my best friend and I thought that eventually we'd end up together and when I thought he liked me back, I got rejected just like Betty and was expected to continue to move on as best friends as if nothing happened. But just like Betty, it was too hard and too painful. That happened to me irl only about a few weeks before I watched it happen on Riverdale and I went through that heartbreak all over again. I've seen shippers praising the exact scene where Archie broke Betty's heart after the dance. I don't understand why you could praise a scene where he HURT her. It would be the same vice versa....if she had broken his heart. Either way, it's not romantic at all. She went into her room and probably cried that night. Something I know well about feeling unwanted.

I know several people blame Grundy for that, but that doesn't make any sense. Here's why. Archie never looked at Betty the way he looked at Veronica THE SECOND, she showed up in Pop's her first night in Riverdale. Right there is a clear sign that he wasn't interested in Betty. He proposed to her when they were younger, yes. But they grew up, still really close to each other, and he never asked her out. Meaning he either didn't see her the way he saw Veronica that first day, or he really did just want to stay friends with Betty. Back to Grundy. People say that Archie felt drawn to Grundy so he rejected Betty. But if it were because of Grundy, why, only two episodes after Grundy leaves, did Archie go straight for VALERIE and NOT Betty? Grundy left in Season 1, Episode 4. Which means Archie could have gotten with Betty (if she really was his first choice) in Season 1, Episode 5. I know, I know. It was too soon, right? Hm? Then why did Archie get with Valerie in Season 1, Episode 6? That's not even that much longer after Grundy left. So when people say that Archie has loved Betty this whole time, it doesn't feel true to me, because if she really was his first choice, he would've gone right to her once Grundy was gone, but nope. He chose Valerie first. Also...he kissed Veronica in Episode 1, which shows that Grundy was definitely not stopping him from kissing other girls. They both KNEW Betty liked him yet they kissed anyway even though they WERE just gonna stand in the closet and not do anything till time was up, but they kissed anyway because they were attracted to each other. If Archie was attracted to Betty from the get-go, he wouldn't have held back from kissing her the moment he knew she liked him. He liked Veronica that way, not Betty. So I'm debunking the Grundy theory.

Another thing that bothers me is when people call Jughead "Betty's rebound" off of Archie. Hm...if that was true, I doubt she would've stayed with her "rebound" as long as 4 years. Especially since Betty and Archie have both been single at the same time yet she still chose Jughead over him. She fell for Jug after he finally gave her back the stuff she's been waiting for from Archie. So Jughead was and is not a rebound. If anything, Veronica was ARCHIE's rebound. But not from Betty. FROM VALERIE. He got drunk af at Jughead's birthday party because it was right after Val left him for being a terrible boyfriend (which he clearly is) and after Val threw her drink in his face, he got more drunk and then Veronica kissed him and he was like "Oh, sure. I'll sleep with you since you kissed me and I'm upset and Val left me."

Back to Archie being a terrible boyfriend (aside from when he was with Josie). With Val...he ignored her and only gave her attention when he was gaining something with his music. Then Cheryl's family gave him an opportunity to go to a good music school, so boom, he ignored Val's wish not to be Cheryl's date to her family Maple Gathering. Dumb move. No wonder Val told him she was done. Then...with Veronica, he kissed Betty. But then Betty was not interested (Hmmm, because she loves her “”rebound”” Jughead so much). And then Veronica told Archie to stay away from Hiram and what did Archie do? Completely ignored her and got stuck in some big mob mess and illegal shit. Then he broke up with her over the phone when she was trying to support him. So she got with Reggie who treated her so well (yes, they had problems too) but he was so whipped for her, let's be real. He did everything she wanted and he would've done anything for her. Then they had their issues and broke up but they were about to get back together, LITERALLY, just as Archie showed up and was all "I love you. Come back to me" and Veronica was obviously still not over him, so poor Reggie had no chance and then Veronica got back with Archie who she should not have gotten back with. She was amazing to him (all of his friends were) when his father passed away. But VERONICA talked him out of saying that his father would be ashamed of him and she made him see otherwise and told him that Fred would be proud of him. That's a GOOD girlfriend. Meanwhile, Archie still has eyes for other girls (Betty now apparently). But anyway. I'm just saying that Betty AND Veronica both deserve a better guy than Archie Andrews.

I just don't see why any girl on this show would be shipped with him. Remember when Veronica decided to kiss Jughead to even the playing field after they told Jug about Barchie kissing? Archie looked pissed. Like wtf? You kissed Betty when you were STILL WITH VERONICA. At least Betty and Jughead were over at the time. I don't believe Archie had a right to look so mad about Jeronica's little fun/platonic kiss when what he did was behind Veronica's back and while they were still together. Her and Jug "getting even" was right there in front of the other two and playful. Nothing to be angry or possessive about Archie. Jeez.

The only time he was an outstanding boyfriend was with Josie and that was the only time I was actually EXCITED to watch Archie scenes. They were great together and they both EQUALLY supported each other and helped each other through things. Not to say that Archie doesn't have good qualities, because he does. He's been trying to clean up Riverdale and he helped Veronica figure out how to get Hiram to fight through his sickness. But I just really can't see him with Betty after everything they've been through without each other. They barely talk anyway till now when they're FAKING being together.

Bonus: There are people who talk about how Archie and Betty doing investigations together are better than Betty and Jughead. But the only time Betty and Archie did an investigation together was to figure out who the Black Hood was and they ended up unmasking the wrong person. Their janitor, who was actually innocent. So clearly, Betty and Jughead are a better team. Not to mention, Archie can really be one of the biggest dumbasses in Riverdale.

THE COMICS: Yes. I know they are canon in the comics. But we well know that the comics and the show are VERY different (Did you know that Penny Peabody and Fangs Fogarty are supposed to be endgame like they are in the comics??? But Riverdale made Penny a 30 year old and Fangs a 16 year old, so that became a "NO" right away. Hence...the difference between the show and the comics). Also....there are comics where Betty kisses Archie behind Veronica's back when Varchie were together and she kissed him without his consent in the dark when he thought he was kissing Veronica (A BIG "NO"). So the comics aren't really a good template to follow. Especially since nowadays, I really don't see chemistry between Lili and KJ. Their fake kiss in the music room (I've seen it on Twitter, because I still haven't seen 4x16) was so awkward and weird to watch. It was so bad. Idk. I can't get behind it.

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE: I don’t understand why people call them forbidden, when they’re both Northsiders who grew up next door to each other and they were never forbidden from being friends. They’re not a forbidden love. Bughead was at first because he was from the Southside and Alice didn’t want Betty to be around Jug or Serpents. But Barchie is definitely not forbidden love. If it is now, then it’s because they would both be cheating and that is disgusting.

Anyway, I haven't been able to watch the season since 4x15, because all of this fake Barchie nonsense legit makes me ACTUALLY sick to my stomach. Cheating really is not okay at all and them pretending that Archie cheated on Veronica and that Betty would get another boyfriend SO FAST after she was framed for MURDERING HER OWN really does not sit well with me or my stomach. The writers are NOT doing this right. If they wanted Barchie to be together....the best way to have done that would have been through them ACTUALLY breaking up with their s/o and then becoming close friends again AND THEN moving around to that romance. But this fake dating and fake cheating stuff is disgusting and I don't think I'm gonna continue season 4 if they become canon that way. Just no.

#riverdale #riverdale betty #betty cooper #riverdale archie #archie andrews #jughead #jughead jones #veronica #veronica lodge #bughead #varchie #barchie #just no #notp #the riverdale writers need to get it together #i miss the season 1 writing

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barchiefanfiction · 5 years

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Doors of Perception

by @barchied / Kate

Prompt: "Tell me you don’t have feelings for me. Tell me that right here, right now, standing this close to me that you feel nothing for me. Tell me!"

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17649569

When he opens the door, it doesn’t lead him to his bedroom. He doesn’t find his sleeping form tucked in his bed waiting to be destroyed by this tougher, darker version of himself. Instead, he sees the door of her house. Just like he had what seemed like a lifetime ago now. In a further moment of deja vu, he watches as the door opens and Betty comes out wearing that same pink dress she’d worn to the dance. The one, he realizes now, she was wearing in the vision he’d just had of his friends in the cabin, encouraging him to play. He doesn’t have time to unpack that yet because she’s striding toward him both confident and nervous and he remembers this moment with such stark clarity that he knows what’s coming next.

His heart is beating in his ears as she speaks. Tells him she isn’t going to ask what happened with him and Veronica at Cheryl’s and he has to stifle a laugh because in the grand scheme of everything that seems so insignificant and faraway now. But then she’s asking him that question he got wrong the first time and it’s suddenly crystal clear why his subconscious has sent him back to this moment. “I’m asking if you love me…” The tears stinging her eyes are enough to break his heart all over again.

He remembers what he said the first time. Of course he loved her! But he wasn’t good enough, she was too perfect. He hadn’t meant for those words to hurt her, they were supposed to spare her the pain that he saw foreshadowed in their future. But, as it turned out, their lives would be riddled with pain anyway. Despite his best efforts to protect her by pushing her away, things had still gone to shit. Perhaps that had been his gravest mistake; to deny his feelings for her. They had always been better together after all; stronger, smarter, more capable.

The pained look on her face drew him back to reality. He was taking too long to answer. But, he has to get it right this time. “Of course I love you,” he echoed his response to their original conversation. He moved closer to her though and willed himself to find the right words this time.

“Okay so then why don’t you...want me?” Her voice was thick and her eyes were rimmed red. He hates seeing her like this, especially when he knows he’s the cause of her sadness. Ultimately, wasn’t that what he was trying to avoid in the first place? Wasn’t that why he’d rejected her to begin with?

He takes her hand in spite of himself. “It’s not that simple-.” But, wasn’t it? His courage staggers for a moment and he forces himself to take a ragged breath. “I’m scared,” he confesses that as much to himself as to her. “If I hurt you, if I caused irreparable damage to our friendship I would never be able to forgive myself.” He’s surprised he’s actually said those words out loud but after the other scenarios he’s been through so far, he knows he should just be honest with himself. This will go a lot easier if he just learns whatever this vision is trying to teach him or make him see. “You’re the most important person to me in the entire universe, Bets.” His hand had moved, seemingly on its own accord, to cup her face and he couldn’t help but feel his heart clench at the way she relaxed so willingly into his touch, how her eyes fluttered closed. Her absolute trust in him wasn’t forced or feigned, it was built on their foundation of friendship, of the love she’d always harbord for him. That love, however, had long blossomed into something more for the both of them. Of course in this dream or alternate reality or whatever it was he had the advantage of knowing things she didn’t know. Things this still innocent version of herself could never imagine they’d go through. She was still capable of holding onto optimism because she didn’t know what would happen.

“It’s not going to ruin anything.” She spoke the words assuredly, like it was a promise she could keep for the both of them out of sheer will alone. “It’s going to make everything better; make us closer.” It was like she could feel his thoughts radiating off of him.

He wants to believe her and some parts of him do. Their fingers have become intertwined at his left side and his skin tingles where it touches hers. Their connection is magnanimous and undeniable, and suddenly anything he wants to say about her being in love with some version of him she’s conjured up in her head seems worthless and unwarranted. His natural inclination is to push her away, reiterate that he’ll never be good enough for her. But perhaps he’s been sent back to this moment because he isn’t supposed to use those excuses this time.

Yet, as he studies her perfect, full, bottom lip that is practically screaming out to be touched by him, he still feels the need to send her away. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Betty.” The confession slips out before he can stop it and now he can’t take it back. It hangs between them only briefly before it’s tarnished by his next statement. “But I don’t deserve you or the way you’re looking at me. I have this darkness inside of me and I can’t let it hurt you.” It’s a chore to force out the last part. Because it’s the truth. That’s what he’s always wanted to protect her from, the darkness that exists inside of him. The one that makes him thirsty for revenge at any cost. The one that sent him on the run in the first place. He can’t risk letting her get caught in whatever crosshairs he’ll undoubtedly find on him.

He expects to find sadness on her face but he finds wistfulness instead. In fact, if he’s not mistaken, she actually giggles and shakes her head at him. “Oh Arch, you don’t think I already know that?” It’s her turn to cup his face and he can’t help but have a similar response of relaxing with ease into her soft, sweet touch. “I have darkness in me too,” She whispers softly, her voice almost a breeze against his skin. “But, I’m not afraid of the dark, especially not when I’m with you. Besides, we can bring flashlights.” She flashes him a misplaced smile and he wants to grin with her, let her positivity be infectious, but he feels restrained still and like he needs to put up a fight, for both of their sakes.

“It’s not that simple Bets-”

“It can be though.” She dares back before he can finish that half-assed argument he’d barely even crafted.

“I’m not sure I can be the man you want or deserve, I just-”

She steps closer to him and the sudden proximity cuts him off before her words do. Her wistful tone has been replaced by a more challenging one. “Tell me you don’t have feelings for me. Tell me that right here, right now, standing this close to me that you feel nothing for me.” Her chest is pressed to his now and any semblance of space between them no longer exists. If he’d thought he was tingling when their skin made contact earlier, then he was practically vibrating now.

“Betty, I-”

“Tell me!” She challenged again, drawing her hand down to rest against his chest, her fingers tapping expectantly against the less than luxurious fabric of his suit jacket.

He wants to tell her all of those things. He wants to spare her the pain of loving him like he did in reality. But this is a dream. A hallucination at best, what’s the harm in just seeing what it would be like? Her eyes shine with expectancy and hope and he can’t bring himself to destroy it. Not here. Not this time. “I could tell you those things.” He sighs, looking down so that their eyes are locked on each others, “But, you’ve always been able to tell when I was lying so it wouldn’t do me any good anyway.”

She opens her mouth to respond but her lips parting this close to him seems to awaken some carnal and instinctive need within him because the next thing he knows he’s kissing her. It’s not timid or reserved like their real first kiss, the one they’d shared at the wrong place and time in front of Cheryl’s. No, this kiss is in a class of its own. His arm snakes around her waist, his hand settling at the small of her back, melding them together. This kiss says everything he’s never been able to articulate about how he feels about her and what she means to him. This kiss changes everything.

Suddenly, he’s overcome with overwhelming sadness because this isn’t really happening. This isn’t really Betty. She isn’t really his. This harsh dose of reality breaks their kiss. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until her thumbs are brushing away his tears. “What’s wrong?” She asks softly, drawing him against her without hesitation or reservation.

“It’s not real.” He whispers, but even so he lets himself kiss her again because even though it’s not real; it could’ve been. And this is how it would’ve felt. He’s suddenly angry for robbing them both of this experience. He knows he’ll never forget the feel of her lips or the taste of them, even when he wakes up. He knows he’ll never stop craving them. He also knows he’ll never have them, not anymore. She loves Jug. The window he’d single-handedly decided needed t be forcibly closed, locked, and sealed- would remain that way.

When the kiss breaks this time they’re no longer standing outside of her house. As he opens his eyes he notices they’re somehow in his room. He looks around, confused at first. The room is basked in a faint glow of moonlight and street lamps that permeate through his uncurtained window. It creates a halo around her already angelic blonde hair, “It can be real.” She affirms, pressing her lips to his again and moving them backward.

When he feels his knees hit the side of the bed, he sits, pulling her with him. “We can’t,” He sighs, “We shouldn’t-” But every excuse he tries to muster dies on his lips as they find hers again. “Fuck it-” He mutters to himself, giving in to his desires once and for all. If this isn’t real- there can’t be any consequences to giving in any way.

His deft fingers find the zipper of her dress and it gives them both chills when he tugs it down and the fabric falls from her shoulders. His breath catches as he looks at the matching lingerie set she wears that tells the story of how she’d hoped the night would end. He wonders if this is something his own mind has conjured up, but somehow, he knows it isn’t. He stops trying to rationalize any of this and finally lets go.

He makes love to her. It’s more than he could ever imagine. He feels everything he’s ever wanted to feel. The love that radiates off of her is overwhelming. They cuddle after, before going at it again. And then a third time. He knows he has to savor this while he can. He thinks maybe it’s selfish, but if this hallucination is the only he way he gets to be with her for the rest of his life, he’s going to make it count while he still can. He assumes that when he falls asleep he’ll either wake up to the next part of the game or maybe he’ll have succumbed to his injuries and whatever purgatory he’d been experiencing for the past however long would cease to exist.

He supposed there would be a kind of beauty in it all ending like this. In fact he almost wills himself to slip away and let this be his last memory, even if it isn’t real. He lets his eyes close briefly and sleep is ready to come for him, but her voice brings him back. “What are you thinking about?” She asks quietly.

His eyes snap open, willing him to stay here as long as he can. “How I wish this was real.” He admits earnestly, knowing she probably won’t understand. His voice is thick with sleep and his eyes become heavy again. He knows he can’t hold on much longer, but he isn’t exactly sure what it means. He isn’t as scared as he thought he would be, though.

Everything starts fading away into blackness and he feels the dream coming to an end. He feels tears spring in his eyes and he tightens his grip on her body, which is heaped sleepily against his, not ready to let go yet. Eventually, even the feeling of her begins to fade and just before the moment ends completely, he hears her voice in the faintest of whispers. “It is.”

Then, everything fades to black.

When he comes to, he knows something doesn’t seem quite right, but he can’t exactly place it. In fact, he finds himself in his bedroom and it feels like it’s been weeks since he’s actually been here. When the bed shifts and a warm body is pressed against his, lips bestow a lazy kiss to the place where his would-be injury should have covered. Afraid whatever moment this is might end if he opens his eyes, he keeps them closed, yet he tugs the form close against him. He needn’t see her to know it’s Betty. He can feel her, all around him. He still has the wherewithal to understand the importance of savoring this feeling. “I had a strange dream..” He mumbles, trying to remember what it was.

He conjures up bits and pieces of memories that seem to be swirling around his mind. It’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. Something about a bear, Betty loving Jughead, being on the run from Hiram Lodge? But just as quickly as those notions appear in his mind’s eye, they flit away before he can fully understand. It doesn’t help that his companion is drawing distracting shapes against his warm, bare skin which only serves to make it harder to concentrate. Suddenly, he recalls details in more clarity. The feel of her fingernails dragging across his back and digging into his shoulder. The fireworks her lips left behind as they trailed over his skin. The soft rock of her hips that culminated in moans of ecstasy. “Betty…” Her name is barely a whisper as his nerves ignite with the memory of how making love to her felt in that dream.

He’s startled more fully awake when he hears a response of “Hmm?” And then the body that had been draped over him shifts again, causing him to open his eyes. He looks down and sees her expectant face and for a moment he’s unable to process that it’s actually her until she pushes a strand of blonde hair back out of her eyes. Her hair is piled in a messy bun atop her head and he can tell that the game or hallucination as brought him to a new scenario.

“You’re still here.” Then, more sadly he adds, “That means I’m still dreaming,” He smiles in spite of himself because even though this can’t be real, he’s content to spend a little more time living in this fantasy he’s created for them. Maybe he’s in a coma in a hospital in Canada and this is all being induced by a line of morphine being pumped into him steadily through an IV. Whatever it is, he’s happy to stay here with her as long as he can.

When her lips are against his an instant later, he can’t help but notice just how real this feels. Last night he was fully aware that everything he was feeling was the product of his imagination. But as he rakes his fingers over her bare chest, the goosebumps that form underneath seem to have appeared on their own accord. He studies her like a book, his eyes taking in every finite detail of the way she looks. He hates himself for rejecting her. Wishes that this was reality and the other stuff was the dream. Or nightmare, as it were. He knows he can’t stay here with her forever but he knows he isn’t ready for it to end either. “I’m so in love with you,” He mutters tearfully before capturing her lips again, pulling her against him.

Each iteration of this dreamworld serves to reaffirm that every single thing that has gone wrong in his life has stemmed from rejecting her. Every version of her is blissfully unaware of all he has cost them and he can’t bring himself to confess to her that he fucked it up. It takes six rounds of this same instant before he’s fully realizing what he’s meant to do. Why he’s here. Why she is.

He’s been going about it all wrong. When the hallucinations brought him back to their moment in front of her house, the night of the dance, he thought he was supposed to choose her. Follow what his heart had wanted and see where it took them. Doing that was nice, but in all actuality, it did little to bring him closure. He owed her so much more than that, he finally realized. It wasn’t a confession of love he was supposed to give her, it was something more raw than that. The edges of this vision start to blur and he feels himself being dragged away. He knows what he has to say next time he sees her. He hopes this world gives him the chance.

Blackness coats the moment again and then, there is nothingness.

The next time he opens his eyes, it doesn’t feel like he is dreaming. The awful pain he was expecting to find in his chest radiates through each of his shoulders and down past his torso. Heart monitors and machines beep around him and draw him further into reality. The pain of his injury is almost nothing compared to the hole he feels when he realizes that Betty is not really his. That none of what he’s imagined will ever be real.

He is starkly aware of the dryness of his throat and he pulls an IV clad hand up to his face, pulling the oxygen line from his nose and blinking his eyes a few times to adjust to being awake for the first time in he isn’t sure how long. The room is mostly dark except for the myriad of lights glowing from the plethora of machine’s surrounding his bed. He groans as even the slightest of movements send terrible, dull, aching pains that radiate all the way through him.

Before his eyes are fully adjusted, he hears someone else in the room. He’s barely able to make out their silhouette, but recognizes when the move closer. Suddenly, he feels a straw tap against his dry lips and he parts them, sucking gently until cool water splashes refreshingly over his tongue. He takes a long drink, letting the crisp revitalizing liquid coat his throat and mouth. When he’s had his fill, he turns his head and feels the straw and cup being moved away and hears it being set on the table. Opening his eyes, he’s expecting to find a nurse, but is startled to find Betty looking back him, concern wrought into her brow.

“Fuck- I’m dreaming again, aren’t I?” He growls, averting his eyes from her. He knows what he’s supposed to do but he thought they’d be outside of her house again. He wonders why his subconscious has put him here and given him all the physical pain of his injury this time. He has a feeling that it’s nothing compared to the insurmountable void he will feel when she inevitable rejects him.

“Shitty dream,” She motions around the hospital room, a smirk on her lips nevertheless. She takes a seat in the chair next to his bedside and draws his hand into hers. “I’m pretty sure you’re awake.” She notes, squeezing gently. “Or I’m dreaming too,” She adds surreptitiously.

“No.” He says firmly, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t be here if this were real life.” His voice sounds so sad and pathetic, but he knows it’s his own fault. After all, he was the one who drove her away. It’s almost more disappointing how they’d let their friendship fall to the wayside since getting into their respective relationships. Maybe it was because deep down, they knew they were never meant to be just friends?

She seems hurt when he says that and drops his hand briefly. It’s not the reaction he’s expecting. “I will always be here when you need me, Arch. No matter what.” Then, she’s taking his hand again and when she squeezes it reassuringly, he forces himself to look at her.

“You won’t, Betty. You can’t.” It’s his turn to retract from her. He knows he doesn’t deserve her comfort. He’s let himself indulge in her too much in the other versions of this head trip. He doesn’t get to, not this time.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” The earnestness in her voice is almost heart breaking.

“Not really, no…” He begins, frustrated with himself and the grogginess he feels. It makes it harder to articulate what he wants to tell her. And when you can’t coherently make your point, people tend to think you’re just rambling unimportant things.

“You aren’t making any sense, Arch.” She stands up and leans over him, brushing her thumb over his cheek. “You should rest some more, we can talk later.” She adds, leaning down to kiss his forehead and then her hand is reaching out for something on his left side and the pain is seemingly chased away by overwhelming warmth in the form of a morphine drip. He’s afraid if he doesn’t say it now he’ll miss his chance but before he can fight it, he’s giving into her suggestion with heavy eyelids.

When he awakes again, she’s still there next to him. Her eyes are closed but he can tell she isn’t sleeping. She doesn’t look relaxed enough. Still, he tries not to disturb her as he shifts in the bed to get more comfortable. “You’re awake,” She says, letting him know his efforts were unsuccessful. She stirs from the makeshift ball she’d folded herself into in that seemingly uncomfortable chair and stretches her arms above her head before rising and offering him the cup of water again.

He can’t help but laugh at the words she speaks because he knows he isn’t really awake. But he’s also glad for that, because if he were, he might lose his nerve. After taking another long drink of water, he forces the confession out before the moment can fade out again. “I’m so sorry, Betty.” He says rather suddenly. Tears sting the corners of his eyes and her face softens immediately. “I should’ve apologized to you so long ago,”

“Shh, Arch you don’t have to apologize for anything-” But he stops her before she can let him off the hook.

“I do though, I really do. I ruined everything that night.” The expression she wears implores him to explain more. She clearly has no idea what he’s referencing so he does his best to clarify. “I should’ve chosen you Betty.” He wishes he could be more articulate but whatever drugs are pumping through the IV to dull the pain are also mitigating his ability to form comprehensible thoughts or sentences. “I was scared of loving you and I pushed you away and it ruined everything.” He forces himself to look at her and he can see her eyes are red with tears. “I didn’t want to hurt you so I tried to let you go.” As he confesses these things, he recalls the dreams he had about her in quick flashes. The feel of her lips on his. The way their bodies moved together so perfectly in sync as they made ardent, passionate love. The details are so real he feels almost dirty thinking about them with her right there. “But I saw how it could have been for us. And I was wrong. I was so wrong. We would’ve been deliriously happy…” He doesn’t know when she sat down on the hospital bed with him, but she’s gathered him into her arms the best that the various cords, plugs, and machines will allow. “You’re not really here.” He reminds himself, as his tears soak the soft fabric of the sweater she wears. “None of this matters.” He tries to push her away again, to retract into his pain. He deserve all of it and more.

She refuses to let go. Her soothing voice is right next to his ear. “I am really here.” She whispers, “We are in a hospital. You were attacked by a bear.” As she says the words she seems to realize they will probably do very little to convince him that any of this is in fact real. “You gave my phone number to a nurse and they called me. I came up from Riverdale three days ago. You’ve been mostly out of it since I arrived, but the doctors assure me you’re getting better and that I can take you home soon.” Her tone shifts from a matter-of-fact delivery of truth to a more hopeful one at the last words she speaks. “How are you feeling?”

He smiles remorsefully. It seems plausible. But he knows it’s not real. Betty isn’t here. She can’t be. But yet, somehow she is. She’s so close he can smell the sweet, floral scent of her shampoo. “None of that matters…” Before he can stop himself, he kisses her. It makes his chest hurt in more than one way. The pain of the deep scratches in his chest is truly nothing compared to the agony that courses through him at the abrupt way she pulls away from him. It isn’t just that she breaks the kiss, she stands up and staggers back away from the bed completely breaking the contact between them.

“Archie!” Her fingers are on her lips and she wears a shocked, confused expression. “I’m with Jughead.”

“No.” He shakes his head with false confidence. “Not here you aren’t at least. This is some hallucination I’ve been having. I think maybe this is the final piece. Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.” He looks around the room, surprised that he doesn’t recognize anything about it. He’s spent enough time in Riverdale hospital rooms to know that he isn’t in one now. It’s certainly strange, that the hallucinations have brought him somewhere that doesn’t seem familiar, but he doesn’t think much of it.

“Arch you’re-”

“No, you don’t get it. Seriously, Betty! Nothing that happens here matters. It’s not real. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. It’s why I can admit to you that I made a mistake. That I should’ve chosen you. That I think we’re soulmates. That I’ve been madly in love with you since the second grade. That I always fully intended on asking you to marry me when we’re eighteen. I can say all of that and I don’t have to be scared because I’ll close my eyes and when I open them again, I’ll be in some other form of this dream. There won’t be any consequences. No one gets hurt. I can kiss you, you can like it. We can be together. It’s okay if I don’t wake up because this is so much better than what it really is I….” He trails off as he studies the unreadable expression on her face.

She’s quiet for a long time and she isn’t looking at him. She’s staring intently at the floor and he thinks it’s an odd reaction. She should’ve kissed him by now. Thrown caution to the wind. She shouldn’t be sad or worried. She definitely shouldn’t be crying. They’re supposed to be happy here. That’s the whole reason he hasn’t tried to wake up.

“It’s not supposed to be like this.” He forces his eyes closed with the hopes that when he “wakes up” maybe they’ll be back in his room, wrapped up in his sheets like the last few times. Instead, he sees the same sad, worried look on her face and the same stark, cold hospital room. He closes his eyes again, maybe he just needs to keep them shut for longer, squeeze them tighter.

There’s another beat of silence as he struggles to restart this part of the ‘dream’ unsuccessfully. “Arch, it’s not a dream. Not this time.” She says, her voice laced with a mixture of sadness and regret. Nevertheless, she takes a step towards his bedside, and then another. “Please, open your eyes.” She whispers, brushing her thumb over one of his cheekbones gently.

There’s something final in her voice and all at once, he understands that she’s right. This time has felt different since he originally opened his eyes but a mixture of morphine and denial had allowed him to extend the fantasy his subconscious had created. “I don’t want to.” He confesses quietly, keeping them snuggly shut. He knows that as soon as he opens them, he has to face reality, the dream officially ends. All at once, the things he’d just said to her flash across his mind and he’s suddenly mortified and embarrassed; afraid of how he may have just ruined everything.

“Please,” Her voice is sanguine, cheering him on. “For me,” She adds, knowing full well those words will trap him into doing what she’s asked whether he wants to or not. He does open his eyes, but he can’t bring himself to look at her, and it breaks her heart a little. She doesn’t want him to feel like this. She isn’t exactly sure what it is she wants for either of them in this moment, but she yearns to make his pain go away. And her own, for that matter. Even if he’d made all those confessions under the false pretense of being in some suspended reality, she still felt the weight of them. More terrifying than that, she knew he meant every word. It was amazing how much conviction you could muster when you thought there were no consequences.

“You should-”

“Did you-”

They started and stopped at the same time, which caused him to finally cast his eyes up to hers. “You first, please.” His request was almost desperate, so she was compelled to oblige him.

“Did you mean all those things you said?” It was a very straightforward question, but a loaded one at that. She wasn’t sure what exactly she was hoping for his answer to be, but she felt like she already knew the truth.

For a beat, he just looked at her long and hard, as if deciding whether or not everything was presently too fragile to handle the truth. The prolonged silence, the way he stared so deeply into her soul, those alone were enough to answer her question. But he articulated a response anyway. “Yes, completely.”

She smiled first. A huge, genuine smile that she couldn’t stop from spreading even if she wanted to. But then, she nodded curtly, her eyes brimming with tears again. “Archie, I-” But she wasn’t sure where to begin. Suddenly, she was rising from the chair she’d occupied and in the next instant she was leaving the room. Then, as the door closed quietly behind her, he was alone.

He closed his eyes, and let the tears stream out. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Of course that would scare her away. It was too little, too late. Those were the words he was supposed to say all those months ago in front of her house, not now that she’d moved on and fallen in love with someone else. And not just someone else, with Jughead. His male best friend. Just like he had chosen Veronica over her. He’d made the choice to hurt her. He was supposed to live with the consequences. But now? Now he’d made another choice to hurt her again. But this time? This time he wasn’t sure their friendship could survive it.

Less than an hour had passed since she left when he heard the door handle turn and click open again. He’d been sat in quiet contemplation, wondering when she’d be back. She’d left her purse sitting on the floor so he knew she’d have to come back to get that at the very least. He considered, very briefly, pretending to be asleep so she could leave quietly and without any awkward goodbyes. But he couldn’t bring himself to do that. No, it wasn’t just that he couldn’t bring himself to, it was that he knew she deserved so much better than that from him. If this was how everything ended between them, it would have to be done right.

“Bets,” He began, as she closed the door behind her, but she put up her hand to silence him before she lost whatever nerve she’d mustered up that had brought her back in here.

“It’s not fair, what you said to me.” She said, stopping so that she was standing next to his bed with her arms folded across his chest.

“Betty I’m-” She shook her head, indicating that she wasn’t done, that it was still her turn.

“It’s not fair because if I didn’t know, I could just have been fine with the way things were. I could’ve loved him, probably forever. And even if some part of me would always just know that it wasn’t supposed to be, I could’ve just squashed it down and told myself that it didn’t matter because you were never going to-” She was crying now and she took a ragged breath to collect herself. “But now I can’t unhear what you said to me. Or unfeel the way it made me feel.” She looks almost angry at him as she says that.

He wasn’t expecting any of that and in spite of himself, it makes him feel hopeful, happy even. He reaches for her and to his surprise, she takes his hand and stepped closer. He isn’t sure what to say at first, so he just brushes his thumb over the back of her knuckles gently a few times. “Well, maybe I don’t want you to unhear it or unfeel it.” He finally manages, drawing his eyes back to meet hers. They share a thoughtful look as she takes a ragged breath.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you.” He turns her hand over in his own, his thumb brushing against the underside of her wrist now instead. “I...did something.” She said plainly, her eyes falling to look at the hypnotic patterns he traced against her wrist. Before he could ask for more details, she was offering them. “I called Jughead and told him I needed some time and space,” She cast her eyes back to his and swallowed hard, allowing the weight of her words to hit them both with full effect.

Archie swallowed the lump that had formed his his throat as she’d started her sentence. His heart was beating in his ears, thumping hard and blocking out all of the other noise in the room. “You,” He studied her in disbelief. “You broke up with him?” He asked, his voice so quiet it was as though he were afraid speaking too loudly would make it suddenly not true.

She simply nodded, fear still etched into her face until the smile that broke out across his seemed contagious and her own grin played at her lips. “I broke up with him,” Saying the words out loud made her heart clench with guilt, but she knew it was the right thing. She would never feel the same way about Jug anymore, not knowing how Archie felt. Not knowing how she would always feel about him.

“I know that doesn’t mean we automatically-” But before he could finish, her lips were against his and he was discovering his new favorite way to be proven wrong. It was better than any of the kisses they’d shared in his dream-induced mirages. They stopped kissing only when his heart monitor started screaming out beeps indicating his suddenly elevated heart rate. Sharing a laugh, she pulled back slightly. “Why don’t I go talk to a nurse about getting you out of here, hmm?” She moved to stand back upright, but he tugged her back down, kissing her again.

“I’d like that,” He smiled, finally letting go of her and watching in quiet fascination as she left the room. He wasn’t convinced this still wasn’t a dream, but he was content to ride it out as long as he could. Pulling the blanket off his lap, he moved to swing his legs of the side of the bed and stand up. He got a slight head rush and it took a moment to get his bearings, but steadied himself against the IV tower, using it for support to walk to the bathroom.

He was studying the gauze wrapped around his shoulder when he heard her come back in the room. “Good news, they’re just going to come check, clean, and redress your wound one more time and then we need to stop by the pharmacy to get some antibiotics and pain meds and then,” She poked her head around the bathroom door, “We can head out. I can rent us a hotel for the night, unless you have a place? Then we can figure out what we’re going to do in the morning.”

He looked at her through the mirror and smiled gently again, turning around and beckoning her closer. “I have a cabin, it’s probably not too far from wherever we are.” He let his hand rest on her hip and he leaned down, kissing her softly again, almost in disbelief at his ability to do that. “It’s not much, but it’ll do for the night.”

She nodded, grinning in return. “A cabin?” She cocked an eyebrow, “Sounds rustic.” She added, turning when she heard the door to his room open. “That’s probably the nurse. While she fixes you up, I’m going to head down to the cafeteria and grab us some food before they close.” Her stomach growled, as if to punctuate the necessity of the later.

By the time she was returning with sandwiches and drinks, she found him standing in front of the nurse’s station with what appeared to be discharge papers and his jacket draped over his arm. Vegas, who’d been given refuge in one of the on call rooms, was also sat by his feet ready to go. “All set?” She asked, to which he nodded and placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her back towards the elevator’s she’d just stepped out of.

The sun was already setting by the time they got into her car and he knew that he didn’t want to deal with trying to get out to the cabin in the dark with her in tow so he offered to drive since he knew the area better and could get them there a little faster. Despite having been almost mortally wounded by an actual bear, she’d agreed to the idea and so he’d settled behind the driver’s seat and they’d headed out to the woods. An uneasy feeling loomed over them as they drove into the setting sun, but leaving civilization behind them in the rearview mirror felt oddly symbolic.

It took less than twenty minutes to get to the clearing where he knew they could park her car and make a short hike to the cabin. There was still a considerable amount of light left, but he didn’t want to waste any time. She urged him to take it easy as he, again, had just survived a bear attack, but they made it to the cabin in good time regardless. “It’s quaint,” She observed non-judgmentally, staring around the small, humble space as he locked the door behind them. It was no Ritz Carlton, but it would do.

Clean sheets adorned the bed, someone must’ve come back and cleaned up after him when he’d gone to the hospital. He sat down on them, watching as Betty took out the food she’d gotten at the hospital. It wasn’t until she was handing him the sandwich and bag of chips that he realized how truly ravenous he was. Not long after, she sat down next to him and they both ate in relative silence. This still didn’t feel entirely real.

When she was full, she offered him the rest of her sandwich and he took it appreciatively, finishing it in one bite before moving to clean up after them. As he gets a fire going, he is caught off guard by the question she asks from across the room. “In your dreams, did we…” She raises her eyebrows with suggestive emphasis even though he isn’t looking at her.

Turning around and walking back towards her, he can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face. “Yes, that we did.” He also couldn’t stop the slight blush that had come to tint his cheeks with that admission.

“And?” She gave him an expectant look.

“And...it was amazing. Mind blowing.” He couldn’t hide the pure happiness that spread across his features as he recalled their most intimate of encounters, or rather, the ones he’s imagined. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and he bites down on his bottom one, recalling exactly how it felt.

“Show me,” She isn’t sure if it’s a request or a challenge, but she reaches for his hand, inviting him closer, suddenly envious of this insider information he has.

“We don’t have to…” He says quietly, but he’s already pulling her towards him so she’s flush against his chest and upright.

“I want to,” She admits, almost abashedly. That’s all he needs to hear before he loses himself in her. His lips capture hers with a familiarity they shouldn’t have yet. Maybe those dreams were actually just practice for this.

The real thing is so much better than any dream or hallucination. As they shed every piece of clothing that separates them from one another, it’s done with painstaking love and care, as if neither of them are sure this will happen again so they’ll both bother taking their time to remember every detail as it happens. Her eyes glance over his bandaged shoulder with a moment of hesitation, “Maybe you should rest-” But his lips are crushing hers and along with that, any argument she may put up for him needing to save his energy.

“I could be dying and I’d have the strength for this,” He promises against her neck lasciviously. It’s with that breathy confession that she loses any willpower she has left. She’s lost to her desires, and to his.

She isn’t sure how much time has passed when she finds salacious release for the third time since they started their passionate foray, but she knows she’s absolutely spent and he must be too as she collapses against his chest shortly thereafter. A million thoughts are swirling through her mind now and she isn’t sure where to begin.

She starts first with, “I love you, Arch.”

He smiles, pressing a kiss between her breasts. “I love you, too.”

The fire crackles behind them and she snuggles herself closer against his side, pressing a lazy kiss to his shoulder. “We could stay here,” She whispers the words into existence. “Me, you, Vegas…”

“Betty…” He doesn’t want to ruin this beautiful experience by telling her that it’s not realistic, instead he uses his arm to pull her closer. “We don’t have to decide anything tonight, let’s just enjoy-”

“I’m serious, Arch.” She props herself up on his chest and stares at him plainly, as if she’s already considered all the options and her mind’s been made up. “There’s nothing for me in Riverdale. My mom is…” She shrugs, not bothering to finish. “There just isn’t anything there for me, okay? You can do whatever you want, but I’m not going back.”

She speaks with such self-assurance that he can’t argue. These aren’t the words of some delusional teenage girl who wants to live in a fantasy world. They’re the ones of a person who has been looking for a way out for far too long and now that she’d seen one? She couldn’t go back even if she wanted to.

He studies her face, shadows casting against it as the firelight dances. “Okay,” He nods, tilting her chin up so his lips are hovering over hers. “We won’t go back.” His words are more like a pledge than anything else. Then, he voices one final promise, his eyes finding hers again, “I love you, more than anything. That will never change.”

“More than anything. Forever.” She agrees, stealing one more kiss from his lips before snuggling against his chest desirously, as a thick haze of sleep finally came for them both.

#barchie #barchie fanfiction #fanfic #prompts filled #long oneshot #ratedt #canon divergence #s3 #blughead #angst #hurtcomfort #fluff #smut #pining #t:doors of perception #a:barchied #a:barchiefanfiction

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riverdaleroundup · 6 years

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Riverdale Roundup: 2x14“ The Hills Have Eyes”

Oh hey. It’s me. That bitch you hate. It’s been a hot damn minute but i’m ready for some fresh ass teenage angst. The journey to get a link to watch this god forsaken show has been TREACHEROUS! The lord has been punishing me for not having basic satellite in my dorm room and not having the patience to wait for midnight for this shit to come on Netflix. Like I feel like Jesus is pressuring me to go down to my communal living area and watch TV with the plebs who live on my floor but I would rather shave off my eyebrows than interact with these people. So after YEARS of looking for a good link I've finally made it. I would like to thank not only God but Jesus.

First off we need to address that Chic is just so damn creepy and also a truly awful house guest. Like don’t drink out of the juice carton and don’t use Betty's shower. He’s going to get written up in page six for being an ungrateful house guest. Also him standing on the stairs waving will haunt my dreams for weeks to come.

Cheryl is not that pleased that her mom is still pimping herself out to the men of Riverdale. Penelope is pissed that Cheryl ruined her chance at happiness with Hal, but really who loves Hal? Penelope comes for her 15 year old daughter over having never been in love. Like she’s in 10th grade but whatever.

Hiram offers Veronica and Archie the lake house for the weekend and i’m like ummmmm. What father sends their child out on a romantic getaway? Also Veronica demand's not to have a chaperone and Daddy just agrees? Like I’m 20 and I feel like I need a chaperone still. If my mom isn’t coming with me on a trip I feel unsafe. Like excuse me where are the adults? Who is going to hold my passport?

Oh so it’s a safe house. I get it now. He’s not just looking to facilitate his daughter getting dicked down.

FP and Jughead need a new place to live since the whole of Sunnyside trailer park is getting evicted. Tragically there is minimal affordable housing in Riverdale and FP works at a diner. Yikes.

All of my hopes prayers have come true and Moose has finally graced our screens. I think he got hotter. Like his face thinned out a bit and his hair looks good and he’s got that jean jacket and i’m INTO IT.

So is this whole scene just an ad for Love Simon? We get it. The movies coming out. Are Moose and Kevin secretly hooking up or like? What is Midge supposedly so cool with? Or is it just that she knows that they went down to the river to hook up and casually found a dead body?

I honestly just want Moose and Kevin to be together. Who cares about Midge? Not I.

Veronica is like our lake house is “rustic” and i’m like really bitch? I doubt that. Do you want to see rustic? Would you like to see my canvas tent complete with plywood walls that my father built and a composting toilet? It’s a yurt bitch. Look it up. But like not a mud hut. Don’t get it twisted.

Jughead is only into going to this cabin so that he can get some Intel on the Lodges. Betty like doesn’t love that idea. She needs to get away from her creepy ass brother and i’m like girl he has caused so much trouble just send that bitch back to the youth hostel where he belongs.

So if life was normal Alice would never let her kid go on an over night sex weekend but I guess now that they are covering up a murder she’s a little more lax with the rules. It’s hard to lecture your daughter about responsibility when she witnessed you mopping up the blood of a drug dealer.

Chic is so damn creepy. I’m done with him.

What I want to know is why would the Lodges go to this lake house for the summer? They are so Hampton's people. They should be off rubbing elbows with Ramona Singer and Luann De Lesseps.

Can I just say that Andre is honestly hot. Homebody can like get it.

Archie is shook that Andre has a gun as if he wasn’t walking around locked and loaded only a handful of episodes ago.

Lodge Lodge. Really Veronica? How clever. Florals? For spring? Ground breaking.

Cheryl is pissed that she couldn’t come on the couples weekend so she calls jughead to ruin their getaway because she’s a petty bitch and I adore it. Stir up the shit girl. Stir it up.

Jughead is pissed. This is why Betty should have come clean before. Like you kissed Archie. You didn’t have a secret love child together. It’s not a big deal.

I adore that Cheryl introduces herself with her twitter handle. She’s looking to gain followers. She’s ready to be a social media influencer.

Toni tries to play therapist to Cheryl and she is not having it. Like don’t touch her sans consent.

I know that i’ve said this before but Archie has the world's largest head. We know it’s not holding a big brain so like what’s up there? Extra storage space? Room for activities?

Why do they need to unpack their stuff? They’re staying there for like 2 days. I don’t unpack when i’m staying somewhere for 2 weeks. I just rummage through my suitcase like a drifter looking for cans in the trash bin .

Jughead and Betty promptly make up about the whole Barchie kiss thing and then hear Archie and Veronica getting it on.A friendly reminder that these children are 15. This feels wrong. Jughead has a point. All Veronica and Archie know how to do is fuck. Like what do they actually talk about?

Jughead goes digging for info and Betty does not love it. Veronica assumes that they are still pissy about the kiss so she suggests that they all unwind in the jacuzzi.

So everybody is going hot tubbing. I miss my hottub. If my dad could just like do a girl a solid and fill that ish back up again I would be very grateful. Give me all the chemicals.

Veronica is like “ just so things aren’t awkward I think that Jughead and I should make out just like really quick.” Very sound logic. See this is actually something that 15 year olds would do. Although under normal circumstances they wouldn’t be on a sex getaway in the woods funded by one of the girls fathers.

All of these characters are way to self aware with their ship names. Jughead just used bughead and Vughead all in one sentence.

Veronica and Jughead kiss and it’s awkward for all. All that’s left is for Archie and Jughead to kiss and everything will be Gucci. Honestly at this point who hasn’t Archie kissed?

Betty puts on her awkward ass cam girl outfit and then her and Jughead get it on real quick. Evidently she watched the new fifty shades of grey movie and is feeling very sexually liberated. Someone needs to oil the bed springs in this house. Just saying.

Archies doesn’t want to talk or have sex so really he and veronica are at a loss. Talking was a stretch in the first place.

Archie chops wood the next morning so he can get out some of his sexual frustration about watching his best friend make out with his girlfriend and then he scampers off to meet Andre in the woods

Why does Veronica have an umbrella? It’s not raining.

Joise is pissed that her mom is sniffing around the Sheriff. She’s not down for this whole affair thing. Oh so Josie's dad knows about Sierra and ‘Tom’. Did we know that that was his name prior to this? Did I just miss it because i’m always referring to him as Sheriff Silver fox or Hot Dad?

Oh so is the sheriff really going to leave his wife? You know what they say….They never leave the wife.

Juggie and Archiekins chat about the time that their girlfriends made out and then Archie is like btw really sorry about making out with your girlfriend. Jughead points out just how incestious their group is and predicts that they are probably going to explode at some point. Foreshadowing my dudes.

Also why are they sitting four feet across from each other throwing a football? Is this what boys do?

Josie spills the beans to Kevin about the affair and it’s a very Cheryl move. Throwing out all that drama. Destroying families one step at a time.

Veronica confirms with Betty that she and Jughead have been doing the deed and she literally praises the lord that Betty and Jughead have moved past holding hands and hugging. She didn’t want to be the only non virgin female of the group. Betty also admit that she likes to dress up in the worst wig ever known to man to make their special time together more exciting. Maybe keep that to yourself girl.

So Hiram bought the trailer park for the serpents but really what's good? Jugheads detective senses are tingling.

I love Moose so much. If Midge could just go away that would be ideal. She can go do jingle jangle with someone else and leave Moose to Kevin.

“ I’m just going to this gay rom com alone.” Same Kevin. Same

Midge is like “ we need to find you someone” and Kevin is like “ yeah how about your boyfriend?”

I’m confused. Does Midge know that Kevin and Moose like got it on once upon a time or not? I’m feeling like it’s a no tbh.

Are there really so many desperate men in Riverdale that Penelope can keep a steady stream of business? Does she have to scour Greendale for potential suitors as well?

So glad Josie and Kevin are friends now. It will make being step siblings so much easier.

Riverdale has moved from being sponsored by covergirl to being sponsored by upcoming teen rom coms. This is only slightly more subtle than a focus in shot on the lash blast mascara.

The Lodges are so rich but they can’t even afford the monopoly with the credit cards? Shame.

Hiram bought the riverdale register? What the heck Hal? You fool. I’m also confused because I thought that the Lodges were fresh out of cash. They supposedly “risked it all” building to Sodale thing but yet they can afford to buy Pops and the town paper + a trailer park? These New York investors must of come in hard with the cash.

Oh there is mad tension in this friend group rn. Jughead is like : Archie you’re really stupid” which I mean at this point is a well known fact. Archie calls Jughead and Betty boring and paranoid .Betty calls Veronica sexually manipulative. Veronica kink shames Betty. This is relationship health. Have they finally reached the point in high school where all your friends turn on you and nothing is ever the same?

A bunch of townies break in to defuse the tension between the ‘ core four’. We all know it’s you under that hood Cassidy. I recognize that flannel.

Veronica hits the panic button in her room because of course she has one of those. That’s honestly my dream. Give me a panic button. Give me a panic room. Please.

The townies run off when the alarm goes off but one of them steals Veronicas necklace and for some reason that really sets Archie off. Like is this necklace significant? It’s not even her pearls.

Andre really casually shots this guy. Like same. Hope he got grammas scone recipe first.

Josie and Kevin call a family meeting of their new little clan. Honestly blended family goals. Adam Sandler would be proud.

Cheryl kind of comes out very casually Toni. Toni is Bi, Cheryl is not straight. It’s the beginning of a love story. Tale as old as time. Are we ever going to address Cheryl being creepy with Josie or are we going to just let that slide?

Hiram asks Archie if he’s pissed that Andre shot a teenager and Archie is like “ Nah fam. I regret not shooting the black hood. Shoulda never threw my gun in the river”.

Hiram reminds Archie that all those who hesitate are lost so like don’t pussy out next time.

Jughead is really creeped out by Chic and i’m like same bro. Get that crack addict out of here. The issue being that Chic has really nice bone structure but he’s too gaunt to be truly hot so it really takes away from the appeal of his character. At this point he’s just some freaky kid who hangs around the house and eat cereal while making full eye contactt. It’s a no from me fam. Also he constantly looks constipated. Get some smooth move tea girl.

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staliasjeronica · 3 years

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Riverdale S5 Ep3 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts on the episode under the cut! I literally can’t wait for us to all be free of Bughead. And I heard there were some Jeronica crumbs AHHHHHHH SCREAMING!!!

- OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE. THE FIRST VOICE OVER. Beautiful. I love that so much.

- FP having to leave </3 I’m not ready to not see Falice

- Hiram looks good roughed up tbh

- Reinstating Sheriff Keller?! YESS. They were sleeping under the boxing ring??

- FRED NO PLEASE 💔💔💔 MY HEART. He really did miss graduation just like he said before 😭😭

- Also not Riverdale but why is there always an ad literally five minutes into the ep??? But at least the Joe Keery Taco Bell ad came on so… it’s okay!

- My family was so excited when I got my cap and gown and seeing Mary just… messing with it brings me back.

- The callbacks to s1 are gonna fuck me up aren’t they 😭😭 Cheryl crying is always so beautiful

- I had to miss most of Alice and Betty’s convo because my mom’s trach came out but Betty saying that thanksgiving would be the two of them LOL as if Betty cares about her mom’s feelings…

- I was thinking that the senior’s pictures in the capsule was gonna be someone’s relative so we could find out a little bit about Sweet Pea or Fangs’ families smh

- THE “SECONDARY” GROUP HANGING OUT TOGETHER YESS. THERE’S A SERPENT PAGE AHHH

- So Weatherbee can join a cult but when Archie is wrongfully accused of murder and then placed into an illegal boxing ring, no one gives him a break… irl they probably would have lol

- Sweet Pea and Reggie hugging idc they’re step bros. The Kangs kiss was kinda cute ngl WHY DIDN’T CHONI KISS? Veronica going up to Archie unsure what to do :(

- Veronica bringing back Archie’s stuff :((( why does VA have to break up first smh they’re the hotter couple.

- Them making out was so weird… like knowing Archie doesn’t want to be with her and Veronica doesn’t either… like I get it but still it looked so forced. I think it was on purpose which bodes well for their acting skills but-

- The entire idea of break up sex is so weird esp when it comest to cheating/lost feelings like why would you want to do that… BUT VERONICA LOOKS CUTE AF RN

- Jughead’s VO on V’s face, and Jughead looks good….

- TONI’S GRANDMOTHER. AND SWANGS, glad they remember their friendship exists. “including my girlfriend.” “We’re so proud of you, Toni.” AHH

- Archie watching everyone he cares about with their parents :(

- Still wondering how Betty is valedictorian… makes little sense. But her speech is good so I’ll let this fanservice slide I guess

- ARCHIE SINGING THE SONG MY CHOIR SANG FOR GRADUATION OH MY FUCKING GOD MY HEART

- Everyone looks so cute in their cap and gown!! Alice’s gaze at FP how sweet 🥺🥺

- Swangs! Reggie!! SP’s reaction to Reggie makes me again hc them as step bros and friends that is all.

- So sad but I feel so… enlightened. Like I did when I graduated.

- NOT PENELOPE… wait she’s giving herself in for Cheryl??? Since when has she ever cared about Cheryl… but she’s doing good so-

- JB in the fucking side car lmao

- Falice 💔 “îs this is? the end of our story?” STOP HEER SWIPING GHERE FINGERS OVER HIS LIPS FUCKKKK when they have the most romantic and passionate kisses over everybody, rivaling Barchie as they should!

- FP GETTING A RIDE ALONG WITH THE SERPENTS PLS

- It’s so annoying that there’s absolutely no Barchie whatsoever like they cheat and then give NOTHING???

- Veronica’s outfit is so fucking sexy

- Veronica handing over full ownership of Pop’s to Pop 🥺❤️ I love the most selfless woman in Riverdale. GOD. The way Pop’s is both her and Jughead’s home though.

- A bobby pin why-

- Josie’s cat ears 🥺❤️

- Keeping her serpent jacket and knowing she’ll be queen later yess.

- Cheryl is all of us “finally” NOW LET THE UGLY BEANIE STAY GONE.

- I think Jeronica is on the same step mmhm

- So all V’s reaction but not Betty’s…? The woman he loves? The woman who loves him? Betty supporting him no matter what though 🥺🥺

- Veronica being worried for Archie though I totally understand.

- Why isn’t Cheryl going to Highsmith? IF YOU DON’T GO, I WON’T GO. It’s amazing Cheryl is fixing the Blossom family name but couldn’t she also go to college…? NANA TOPAZ WANTING TO SEND CHONI CARE PACKAGES 😭😭 “Toni, you know I love you with every ounce of my soul.” I HATE THIS. “Don’t say it.” STOP STOP STOP “Then you never shall.”

- JUGHEAD ASKING ABOUT VERONICA MUAH TAKING MY CRUMBS

- JUGHEAD REALIZING TTHAT V DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ARCHIE WAS PLANNING.

- OMG IS BETTY FINALLY TELLING JUGHEAD YESS and he’s in her bed LMAO

- Betty you always say you should tell Jugheead when shit happens but you never do until you’re forced to. (aka Jughhead finding out) BUT LOL HIM NOT KISSING HER BACK. Nvm take us back to the VA sex scene…. it’s so dumb like at least break up sex makes sense for them but bh???

- So… they had Jeronica not care about being cheated on?????? lol ok

- Betty saying she should be with V so she wouldn’t have to say “Archie” after her revealing Barcheating

- V slap the fuck out of B now. WHY AREN’T YOU MAD AT BETTY? SHE LITERALLY—

- So what was the point of having Barchie cheat if no one was going to care or have any fallout… NORMAL HIGHSCHOOL ANGST? CHEATING ISN’T—

- Veronica looks so good though when she’s crying ugh we love a queen

- “I wish I had said goodbye to him” so they said that its would be someone you wouldn’t expect her to say it to and it was towards ARCHIE? What kind of actual bullshit???

- Not Archie’s main memories being with Veronica. He literally doesn’t love her anymore. This fucking show really did nothing with Barchie how fucked up is that. BUT HER WAVING TO HIM THAT WAS SO CUTE PLS

- “Barchie cheated and Archie doesn’t love V anymore.” “I LOVE YOU” literally… what the fuck is this show?

- “Don’t bro me.” ???

- They’re literally acting like Barchie never cheated. WHAT WAS THE POINT THEN??? God I wish the writers knew how to write.

- Jeronica wearing blue colors though muah

- BH IN THE SAME BED ALL SPLIT APART LMAOOOO. AND THE COUCH LOL bh break up say the words now

- Of course you’ll always love Betty, Jughead, she’s gonna be your step sister <3 for real this time

- THE COOPER’S ANYMORE…. when it was literally the Jones’ and the Cooper’s literally moved in with them. THE ANDREWS? The Bunker of course “honey I’m home” sjdkfahsjlfkak

- This is actually quite sad though. A little weird, but sad.

- But see how normal Jughead acts when he and Betty break up? I’ve been saying it!

- THE COUPLE LITERALLY BEING WHAT BARCHIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN!? Mmmhhm

- ADULT BARCHIE SLAPSSSSSSSS. Can’t wait for my Jeronica crumbs… can’t believe I’m actually saying Betty being FBI doesn’t seem that awful (yet, until it’s in every line and shoved down our throats)

#Riverdale #Thoughts #Spoilers

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

Text

Riverdale 3.13 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Jughead sleeping through the aroma of food? Mmhmmm I don’t buy it.

- If you have to get baptized, at least make sure it’s for a CHURCH. Otherwise… Issa cult, Alice…

- VERONICA MY BABY!!! But didn’t she fucking move out of the Pembrooke? When the FUCK did she move back in?

- Honestly this Hiram shit needs to end. It’s so annoying and it’s been going on for so long that it’s getting so fucking boring. Like, give V another fucking storyline. Like, I don’t know, EXPLORING HER BISEXUALITY. EXPLORING HER CAREER AS FUCKING ANYTHING. She wanted to stick up to her father by not becoming a mob crime boss like him but now… fUCK JUST LET MY GIRL LIVE LIKE SHE WANTS TO.

- ARCHOSIE ❤️❤️❤️

- “You are sweeter than a strawberry milkshake, Arch, but—” B I T C H THEY FUCKING OWN ME.

- What makes me sad though is we’ve never really seen Archie THIS happy? Like yeah he’s really really happy when he’s with Betty (and vise versa, she’s never as happy as she is with Archie) but like… he just radiates love and I just—my Barchie heart is cONFUSED

- “Well, almost everything else.” Hi, yes, again… THEY OWN ME. “Yeah, well, don’t go messing up that pretty face, Andrews. It’s growing on me.”

- Although I feel so bad for Sweet Pea because Swosie broke up because Josie wanted to focus on her career and now she’s about to get into a relationship with Archie.

- Poor Betty, she sees her mother slipping into the cult more and more and she can’t do anything about it. But, to be fair, Betty, you have cut her out a lot too so hopefully after this stupid boring cult shit is over, you can actually get close with your mom again.

- Why are Swangs surprised they lost eight more to the Pretty Poisons? The South Side Serpents, until recently, made the women pole dance for ugly, disgusting old men to get in so like… I would have left, too.

- FANGS NEVER CALL JUGHEAD BOSS AGAIN EW

- Ignoring the fact of Jughead trying to use Toni to get his numbers back… Sweet Pea looks hella fucking good in that yellow shirt.

- I like how Archie and Tom are boxing together, it’s so sweet! But that boy needs to listen to him because he has more boxing knowledge but I know he ends up getting into a fight so what the fuck do I know 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

- I love Tom Keller and he needs more screen time goodbye

- If Veronica is against what her stupid father is doing… why not just give Gladys information on what he’s doing? Gladys is an annoying bitch too but she does have you and your mom under her command so like…

- fUCKING ELIO. HE’S SO ANNOYING GO AWAY.

- Archie… I try to protect you from the “Archie is so stupid” posts but you’re going up against this guy without realizing that there’s ulterior motives just because you want to feel powerful again. Please for the love of GOD find another way 😩😩😩

- Have to admit though, Elio’s good at manipulating… and his voice is kinda hot. And the actor is cute. BUT STILL ELIO CAN GO FUCK A DUCK

- But we all know Archie isn’t gonna let himself lose the fight lmao someone’s gonna tell him they’re excited to see him fight and he’ll wanna make them proud so now he’s going to get into trouble… did he just ask to get the money first? BABY THAT’S NOT HOW THAT SHIT WORKS.

- Veronica I love you, and I’m glad helping your family is still your goal, but last time you told him that he literally told you “no” and was being a big bitch about it.

- Oh poor Veronica… the look she gave her father when she realized he’d rather do illegal shit than legal, she looked so sad!!!

- “Make me queen” YES TONI TELL HIM. Betty does NOTHING for the Serpents, and this is Toni’s BIRTHRIGHT. She has always tried to get the Serpent dance outlawed because it’s sexist and stupid, but she never really needed a reason to lead—Jughead wasn’t a stupid little bitch, but now he’s ruining all that the Serpent’s are about so now she has every reason to becoming the leader of the Serpents.

- “You’re Cheryl’s vanity project, you mean” Jughead says as if he didn’t call out Betty in season one for viewing him as that as well lmaooooooooooooo

- She’s right though about the Serpents being a family. Jughead has ruined every good thing about it, and he NEEDS to give her her rightful place because he is a scrawny, annoying white little bitch and she is literally directly from the Uktena bloodline.

- It’s so obvious when Betty isn’t interested in something. She even did it with Jughead when he was complaining about the drive in being shut down. I don’t know how nobody seems to catch it but oh well nothing about Riverdale is realistic so what the fuck ever

- Cheryl teaching the Poisons to shoot a bow I’m—YES BITCH

- CHONI MY LOVESSS! I can’t tell whether I’m happy or sad about how Cheryl can immediately tell if Toni is off after kissing her. ALSO CHERYL CALLED TONI HER TREASURE GOODBYE

- oh no I’m getting closer to the scene I’m going to despise with every fiber of my being… but also I know Cheryl is new to relationships and conversing with other people (I don’t know how to word it okay) but how does she get doing THAT out of Toni saying “I’M gonna put Jughead in his place” like??? CHERYL LET HER DO IT HERSELF :(((

- UGH OKAY HERE WE FUCKING GO.

- First of all… SWEET PEA NOR FANGS ARE SEXIST. I mean, of course right there in this scene they’re acting like it but we all know they aren’t? RAS and the writers were on major fucking crack apparently and just erased everything we know about these two sweet boys. Even Alex said that it was ooc! I’m so fucking pissed about it.

- But, also, Cheryl wasn’t doing that because they were being sexist. She went there because she was already planning on beating them up, which is an even bigger no and so ooc. Cheryl is more into fire, so instead she could have like burned down Jughead’s trailer instead of attacking Jughead’s lapdogs.

- THEY WERE SO HAPPY AND SHIT AND THEN MY POOR BOYS WERE ATTACKED. FANGS SAYING “HEY, WE DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE” MAKES ME EVEN MORE MAD AND SAD

- But I gotta laugh at the nickname Peabrain… I’M SORRY OKAY ALL OF CHERYL’S DEMEANING NICKNAMES FOR OTHERS ARE SO FUNNY LEAVE ME ALONE

- DID GLADYS CALL MY BOYS JOKES BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FIGHT BACK? This bitch…

- OHHH NOW I SEE WHY JUGHEAD WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GRAB UP THE GHOULIES… HIS FUCKING MOTHER!!! But really do you expect SP and Fangs and the Ghoulies to get alone? MMMHMMMM OKAY AHAHA

- LIKE WHAT CHERYL DID WAS WRONG AND TONI’S VOICE WAS SO SEXY WITH THE “IS THAT CLEAR” BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT CHERYL IS ABOUT TO CRY I HATE REFLECTIONS

- FUCK YEAH JOSIE TELL HIM. I’m still peeved at what she did to Veronica for like no reason but like… I love her. I love her and Archie. They’re HEALTHY AND CUTE AND JUST—UGH!!!! My Barchie heart is once again screaming and confused

- “You’re worth more than that” It’s sad that we KNOW Betty would tell him this too but they never interact anymore :( I miss the cute window scenes that proved they were endgame sIGH

- LMAO WAIT SO YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’RE JUST NOW TELLING YOUR “BEST FRIEND” ABOUT YOUR MOTHER BEING IN A CULT, ABOUT THE FARM BEING A CULT? Bitch… this is why we all know Betty has no friends anymore. She’s too close to Jughead and has pretty much pushed everyone else away. Toxic relationships do that… just saying.

- Why did Betty have no emotion when she asked Kevin why he wasn’t going to help her? Like, when you get sad your eyebrows tend to either go down and in, or like slant up (I know I’m not making sense okay but just google pictures of sad people and you’ll see what I’m talking about) and your lip kinda puffs out but she just ._. ???

- It’s really really bad that he’s about to join the farm but he does have a point though she does see the bad in everybody…

- The Ghoulies are crazy and you guys KNOW THIS. The G&G bitches are just wannabe cunts who are probably brainwashed or some shit. Stop changing what you know for your crooked mother you beanie baby

- “They just need someone to lead them—I can be that!” JUGHEAD YOU CAN BARELY RUN “YOUR” OWN GANG SKSKSKSKKSS WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN THE GHOULIES TOO (also where the fuck is Malachai???) THE GHOULIES WOULD LEGIT TEAR YOU APART. Now that I think about it… let them come. They destroy Jughead and Sweet Pea and Fangs will leave. PERFECT

- FP KNOWS SHE’S STIRRING SHIT. Jughead has missed her, and doesn’t know her as well as FP does, so he’s more vulnerable to manipulation (even though he’s a dumbass in the first place), so hopefully FP stops this shit before its too late (but knowing Riverdale it’ll be too late)

- You know you COULD just give Toni her rightful place as Serpent Queen and everybody will come back and the Poisons in join as well, but you’re a stupid dumbass. Actually, I know Archie does stupid shit but at least he does it out of the good of his previously innocent heart… can Jughead take the dumbass title now?

- Lol The Lodge’s get to have dinner with their daughter’s future mother in law!

- SEE I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WOULD TELL ARCHIE IT WAS WRONG AND HE’D WANT TO TAKE IT BACK BUT HE FUCKING CAN’T. AND THEN HE’S GOING TO NOT DO WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO ANYWAYS AND THEN BE ON THE RUN AGAIN UGH

- Verne? I thought most of the Ghoulies despite Malachai were like ugly and shit but uhh…

- WHERE THE FUCK DID MALACHAI GO? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

- Damn well there goes my hope that that one clip from the trailer that looked like it was in a sewer was Joaquin who Swangs had actually helped save :(

- I wanna know what fucking costume shop is selling those on-point gargoyle masks like—

- LMAO ONE LEADER TO ANOTHER oKaY jUgHeAd

- WAIT BITCH THAT’S JONATHAN WHITESELL I FUCKING LOVE HIM!!!! He’s so cute uGH FUCK. Next ep he drops my boy Fangs tho :(

- DID ANYONE NOTICE THAT JOAQUIN’S NAME IS CROSSED OUT IN THE BACK I’M—

- So since every word that seems to come out of Jughead’s mouth makes me want to fucking slap the shit out of him… how has nobody fucking went at him or even killed him like it’s just not realistic lmaoo

- “You were right” mmhm Tom is going to be like “fuck… you’re so stupid but I like you so I’m going to help you” isn’t he

- YUP! We love a good father. Even tho his son is joining a cult because his second boyfriend left him.

- HIRAM HAS NEVER WANTED VERONICA’S HELP HE’S JUST WANTED CONTROL OVER HER. I fucking hate this. I just want this crime boss shit OVER WITH. SEND HIRAM AND GLADYS AND EVERYBODY ELSE TO FUCKING JAIL

- That smile Hiram did… he so fucking knows Veronica and Gladys are working together lol

- Would the farm really bug phone calls? They’re not that big and cool are they? Like damn… okay…

- Wow Jughead is actually shaken from that encounter… that struck me for some reason holy fuck

- I LEGIT JUST GOT SHIVERS AS BETTY WAS REALIZING HER MOM WAS ABOUT TO DO HER “BAPTISM” AND GOT UP OH MY GOD

- I feel so bad for Betty.

- Josie singing in the background while Archie fights? CINEMATIC EXCELLENCE!

- But hasn’t Betty never been to the farm? How does she know where it is?

- ALSO TRACK QUEEN

- I know this isn’t the greatest time to say this while all of this is going on but the episodes are much better when Bughead isn’t together twenty four seven… just saying. Like this episode still was ehhh but like… it would have been much worse if Betty and Jughead were joined at the hip like always

- Josie showed up my hEART

- Alice Smith? THEY’RE REALLY STRIPPING HER AWAY FROM THE COOPER NAME HUH

- So like where are Polly’s babies tho lol

- So… Polly can help drag her out of the tub but not help or care that she just killed her mother? Okay. Makes total sense…

- THE WAY ARCHIE PICKED JOSIE UP I’M—

- Also people saying that it was all Veronica who wanted to fuck when they were hurt or whatever (at bad times)… Archie wanted this so now people can stop blaming Veronica thank you and goodbye

- Wow I actually feel really bad for Betty…

- BUT NO YOU CAN’T SELL THE HOUSE THEN WHERE WILL WE GET THE BEAUTIFUL BARCHIE WINDOW SCENES. Just marry FP already and have them move in oKAY

#Riverdale #Riverdale 3.13 #Riverdale Requiem For A Welterweight #South Side Serpents #Pretty Poisons #Jughead Jones #Archie Andrews #Betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge #Josie McCoy #Toni Topaz #Cheryl Blossom #Choni #Bughead #Archosie #Sweet Pea #Fangs Fogarty #Swangs

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

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Riverdale 3.05 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- I’m still so pissed that Jughead brought my core 4 into this. Like, we know they’re not stupid so THANKS FOR MAKING THEM JOIN A GAME THAT HAS BEEN FUCKING KILLING PEOPLE JUGLYFUCK.

- Rob Raco is so fucking gorgeous. But I couldn’t help myself and saw spoilers so i’m mad. But i’ll rant when it comes up.

- Of course Joaquin fell... but ARCHIE THE TRUE FUCKING KING OF RIVERDALE BLOCKS HIM FROM BEING SHOT. Ya’ll really queerbaited the fuck out of us huh. Bitches.

- I can’t believe they’re actually making me agree with Betty. What the fuck lmao JUGHEAD YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SANE ONE WHO TRIES (and usually fails) TO KEEP BETTY FROM DOING STUPID SHIT.

- Oh my GOD Jughead... you guys didn’t even know the game yet. Real life “quests” aren’t a part of the game you jackass. Jesus.

- Even though Jug is going fucking crazy... why does he actually look all cute and innocent? What is this episode doing to me? Also how is his creepy, mind-controlled-like demeanor much more tolerable than how he usually acts?

- Lmao Betty is so pissed that her boyfriend isn’t doing what she wants. It’s a nice rarity to see, even though Jug is trippin. If only they would allow him to be his own person in general.

- YES VERONICA GIVE HIRAM’S BITCH ASS THE SILENT TREATMENT.

- Wow, Hiram really is a dickhead for telling this all to Veronica simply to fuck with her. Also is it just me who somehow didn’t realize he had a tattoo?

- Why do they make Veronica stupid enough to tell people what she’ll do, and allow them to thwart her plans and incriminate her? OUR QUEEN ISN’T STUPID.

- YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING BRAND HIM? They do realize that (if he does) when he gets out of prison, people will see he was fucking branded? Like??? Are you fucking stupid? Poor Archie... good thing he’s breaking out of jail!

- I don’t know why... but i’m saying everything is Marty Mantle’s fault. Don’t ask because I DON’T KNOW IT’S JUST A FEELING.

- Josie is so fucking done with Betty. Me too! Instead of, you know, letting them know and ask their parents nicely or something Betty’s like “yeah so go investigate your parents for murder”

- “Thank you for mansplaining my business to me” WE LOVE AND STAN VERONICA.

- CHONI. WOW THEY’RE STANDING FIVE FEET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. Oh they were so totally fucking in that tent cOME ON.

- I know I wanted screentime for my babies but this ain’t it. GIVE ME THEIR FUCKING BACKSTORIES. Jughead if they die I will literally hate you. Like, no hard passes I will legit fucking hope you die with them because that’s the only way it’ll be made up. Although Sweet Pea with a bow and arrow? Hot af bye

- BUT SWEET PEA, MY MAN, IS STILL SPITTING TRUTH. “We’re your foot-soldiers in life, we gotta be the same in the game, down in the mud taking all the risks?” Because he KNOWS that Jughead only goes to them when he needs them for that kind of shit. In the beginning before Jughead joined, it was like that, too. Jughead had to show that he was all in for the Serpents. It sucks now that Sweet Pea can’t somehow overthrow him. Sweet Pea and Toni need to rule the fucking Serpents, if it has to be a teenager.

- And I thought that this scene with Cheryl, Sweet Pea, and Fangs where when they saw the fucking Gargoyle King... are you fucking kidding me Jughead you’re so stupid. I know you’re fucked up from the game but SO ARE SWEET PEA AND FANGS BECAUSE YOU’RE THE STUPID FUCK WHO BROUGHT THEM INTO IT. Also how funny would it be if she like hit his shoulder or something. I know she’s perfect but STILL. Might bring Jughead back to reality both from the game and the show in general.

- Why do Fangs and Sweet Pea act like they’ve never seen Cheryl use her bow and arrow with deadly accuracy?

- LEAVE SWEET PEA ALONE. YOU’VE “RULED” OVER HIM AND YOU ALWAYS MAKE STUPID DECISIONS. HE HAS A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU. IT’S CALLED BEING HUMAN YOU FUCKING HEARTLESS, TOXIC FORSYTHE PENDLETON JONES THE THIRD.

- “Don’t defy me again” um bitch how the fuck did they defy you? They were (horribly and dangerously) practicing with the bow and arrow. Sure, they wanted to take g&g to real life but that doesn’t mean they could without their whole g&g group. Fuck off Jughead. When they’re out of this spell we need Sweet Pea to shove reality into Jughead’s face about his bitch ass ruling

- FP please see how crazy your son is. Also I thought you gave Jughead rein over the Serpents because of your sudden drinking problem. Where’s the beer bottles bitch? If you’re okay please PLEASE take the Serpents back.

- MCKELLER BITCHES. KEVIN AND JOSIE. MY BABIES.

- OH NO SHE’S GOING TO SEE ARCHIE FIGHTING. NO. NO. NO. MY POOR BABY. Lmao the part where we thought we heard Joaquin sucking Archie off was fucking ice i’m quaking. See, many are angry that Archie and Veronica are having sex in the prison but guys it makes so much sense? Like? At least when they have sex it’s not gross or toxic. They haven’t seen each other in forever, and she just found out that he’s being used as some jockey to make the prison some extra money or whatever. LEAVE VARCHIE ALONE. But what I still don’t understand is that if they’re supposed to be broken up, what could that possibly be from? They’re completely, totally in love. Bughead, I could see, but Varchie?

- Betty... did you just accuse Sierra and Tom’s marriage as a smokescreen? INSTEAD OF BEING A BITCH AND COMPLAINING THAT THEY DIDN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED, TRY BEING ACTUALLY HAPPY FOR THEM (even though for some reason Josie is disgusted but whatever)

- REGGIE’S DAD FUCKING HIT HIM? MY POOR BABY.

- YES VERONICA BRING IN THE CALVARY.

- Ugh Jughead’s going to ruin the whole thing about the rescue mission by tying it to the game. Fuck off. But Betty is going to steal his bike... you’re going to leave him with no transportation, which is more dangerous with the gargoyle king? Betty since when did you learn how to ride a fucking motorcycle. They’re gonna force Serpent!Betty onto us aren’t they.

- NEW OT3 BITCH JOSIE/REGGIE/KEVIN

- Oh great this is the kiss scene that I get to watch and can’t enjoy because I know what happens... but imma like the kiss anyways because I’m not gonna let queerbait turn me into an even more bitter asshole than I already am.

- WAIT BITCH JOAQUIN WAS ABOUT TO CRY WHEN ARCHIE SAID HE WOULD COME BACK IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG. JOAQUIN HATES HIMSELF FOR HAVING TO DO THIS. FUCK THE WARDEN. AFTER IT HAPPENS HE LOOKS SO FUCKING SAD MY POOR BOY JOAQUIN!!!

- VEGGIE’S SO ATTRACTIVE!! But is no one really going to react to Reggie’s dad hitting him?

- This weird g&g and reality go-between is weird. But did anyone notice Sweet Pea tap Fangs’ knee in support? We love supportive boyfriends. Also the fact that his Pantera identity is being matched to Kevin’s role in the breakout is amazing. Too bad Kevin was a dick to Fangs when he was literally just trying to talk to him during the musical :)

- Wow, Mad Dog is alive. It was obvious he wasn’t killed off lmao. But also this isn’t fair? Archie was stabbed. I know this is illegal and shit but if you have a star player don’t you, you know, treat them well? I know the warden is in Hiram’s pocket (and apparently playing g&g thanks to spoilers bc i’m weak and don’t follow anything other than Riverdale atm), but come on at least make it FAIR

- It’s so weird how ALICE slays the Serpent look but Betty... not so much. Lili wore Alice’s clothes for an episode and decided “NO MORE PASTEL FOR BETTY” huh... still won’t make Betty the Serpent queen

- It’s amazing how, since VERONICA is the one who planned all of this, it’s going smoothly and actually makes sense. Thank God Jughead isn’t in his right mind or else him and Betty would be fucking this up. RAS TAKE NOTES. WE WANT MORE VERONICA PLANS, NOT STUPID, HALF-ASSED, WANNABE BUGHEAD PLANS THAT NEVER MAKE SENSE AND TAKE THE WORST POSSIBLE ROUTE

- You can tell Joaquin is fucked up because of the game. Here he is, with his Preppy (future husband, sorry Moose), and he’s not even acting like he normally would. Sure, he’s running for his life, but STILL.

- YES BRING MAD DOG WITH YOU

- KEVIN GOING AFTER JOAQUIN THAT’S LOVE BITCH

- VERONICA REALLY JUST FUCKING STOMPED ON HER FATHER FUCK YEAH BITCH

- OMG MAD DOG TRIED TO GET THROUGH THE GRATE BEFORE. THAT’S PROBABLY WHY IT’S LOCKED. Oh stfu Hiram

- BARCHIE REUNION. OMG WE’VE NEVER SEEN BETTY SMILE LIKE THIS. THAT’S LOVE BITCH. BARCHIE IS ENDGAME WE BEEN KNEW

- KEVIN IN A SERPENT JACKET. HELL YEAH. BAD FUCKING ASS.

- SWANGS AND CHONI’S SCREAMS IN VICTORY GIVE ME LIFE.

- APPARENTLY VANESSA IMPROVISED THAT KISS. I do hate how RAS hyped it up as a cute makeout or whatever but it’s literally a second long... bull SHIT.

- YASSSSSSSS ARCHIE’S BACK BITCHES

- Betty... mace? Really? THEY HAVE GUNS. Betty this is why you’re not the Serpent Queen, you don’t have the guts, or the drive. But i’ll give you props for protecting Kevin

- HI, WE WANT AN ARCHIE/TONI FRIENDSHIP

- First of all, I wanna say that the pact throwback from the parents to their children is awesome. I love it.

- Also, THIS IS WHY VERONICA SHOULD HAVE MORE SCENES. She’s doing everything that Betty tries and fails to do. Her plan wasn’t stupid, it was dangerous, yes, but they could have gone gung-ho and fucked it all up. Betty (and Jughead) are extremely impulsive, while Veronica is quick and complex, making sure it is all perfect and done. Betty would have just winged it. TELL ME AGAIN WHY BUGHEAD IS THE MAIN FOCUS OF THE SHOW WHEN VERONICA, THE TRUE QUEEN, ISN’T? LITERALLY THIS EPISODE WAS THE BEST (second place goes to the parent’s ep) BECAUSE IT HAD VERONICA STEPPING INTO HER OWN ROLL AND PLOT, AND ALSO SECONDARY CHARACTERS WERE IN IT.

Extra: wtf were Sweet Pea and Fangs going to do witht hat Pillow? Mmhmmmmmmm

Extra Extra: Reggie is next to Sweet Pea, and bc of that headcannon of them being brothers, i’m screaming bye (since we now know Marty Mantle is a little abusive bitch ass, imagine Reggie finally, completely letting go of his dislike for the Serpents and living with Sweet Pea, which would be a great introductory for Sweet Pea’s life and shit, and them bonding. IMAGINE.

LMAO I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END OF THE EP OOPS. Well... anyways.

- HERMIONE YES BITCH. TELL THEM.

- As much as I love Varchie, she’s right. Veronica is pretty obsessed with him but I know there’s a great explanation. I don’t know if I reblogged it or liked it or just saw it, but someone talked about it in a post and it was fantastic and well-put. Hiram, however... we all know he’s obsessed with Archie for some reason. Like, yeah he wants to torture his daughter for not siding with him (because he’s an insecure bitch), but with how he was when Archie was escaping... it was more like he was obsessed with him, and it wasn’t about hurting Veronica anymore, it was all about Archie. That brings up the point that it’s probably Hiram who was the Gargoyle King because young!Hiram brought drugs to the ascension and would make sure everyone was tripping to not see him/believe sober Alice. I believe that would be too easy but how else would Hiram go down?

- Why did Hermione say “the mess you and your daughter have made” your daughter? I know that’s kind of a parent thing but like... you could have just said Veronica.

- NO DON’T FUCKING PLAY G&G... SEE BETTY THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE SHIT, AND WHY YOU’RE NOT A GOOD “LEADER” now my other babies are playing the game and can get hurt because of you!

- Wow? Betty actually caring about Jughead’s well being? Mhmm... interesting. But honestly the first thing that popped into my mind is that she wanted to be alone with Archie (even though he’s finally asleep my poor innocent precious baby)

- WARDEN NORTON YOU’RE A FUCKING PUSSY ASS BITCH. Although i’m glad you’re dead... but you still fucking suck ass

- ofc Jughead randomly happens to come upon the fucking gargoyle king.

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staliasjeronica · 5 years

Text

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

- Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

- They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

- “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count.

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS.

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