#so now im like. i'll try anything man. worst case scenario i go on a face journey and spit into my napkin

[transmascissues]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

#this ended up much longer than i intended but i have a lot to say about it bc i was in the same place a couple years ago #ask answered #trans men #transmascs #hrt #testosterone

[mormonculturememes]

hey i'm a former mormon (now quaker) but on good terms w my home branch etc and my family are all still members. anyway i have family visiting rn and i humbly offer this quintessential lds moment: my uncle saying to my cousin, "how are you ever gonna serve a mission??" with maximum exasperation when he refuses to eat any particular food

this ask is 800 years old but an older sister in my ward this week talked about how her son just started a mission in cote d'ivoire and one of the first meals his companion fed him was cat meat, and the second is going to be monkey. and she was horrified but i was just like....that's weird but also lit as heck and i would not turn up my nose at it. and it's probably because i was raised by people operating from the same Mormon Parenting Manual as your uncle!!!

#led #ask #marklinn-baker #cleaning out the inbox jsdfgh please forgive me #i also had a kind of formative moment eating escargot for the first tim in 9th grade and loving it #and in 4th grade i fed chocolate covered crickets to my entire class but declined to try one myself and was intensely judged #so now im like. i'll try anything man. worst case scenario i go on a face journey and spit into my napkin #im polite and charismatic enough that i trust my ability to smooth over the awkward moment of hating someone's cooking #and if that doesnt work im secure and confident enough to move on with my life optimistically and not get caught up/trapped in a spiral o #of embarrassment #thanks therapy :peace sign:

[sayitwityachest]

i try very hard every day to not completely condemn men. bc imo that's a pretty bleak way of viewing the world, pretty hopeless. but the mass rape in ukraine... the rape everywhere honestly... the sweet soft spoken pregnant woman i know who already had multiple babies with her husband, but now has to have a csection bc he beat her so badly he broke her tail bone, who is in terrible pain every day from the complications of this pregnancy... the women and girls i talk to all the time- coworkers, classmates, friends, my sister, my mom, the ways men have fucked with them and are still fucking with them... the fucking GHOSTS of women at my work who can never fucking fully leave behind the trauma caused by men... im so fucking angry all the time. i cannot stand when people tell me im looking at the worst case scenarios because for so many people those are just their circumstances, plain and simple.

i understand men are socialized a certain way and that because of that, the misogyny that is ingrained in everyone, woman and man, is expressed more intensely in men. and i know that doesnt make them all bad people, and i know we need them on our side in order to really change things down the line. and all of this just makes me angrier. yeah it's not an individual man's 'fault' he's sexist, but why why why do i have to sympathize? why do i have to teach him? why am i mocked for feeling so much hatred for him and what his sex has done to women for thousands of years, across all cultures. am i so ridiculous for feeling such rage over how our existence is based on rape? why can't i seethe over how my best friend's husband, the man who i know loves her more than anything, thinks it's okay to call her a bitch despite her clearly telling him that she doesn't like that, that last time it happened and i was like wtf, and she meekly reminded him that it wasn't okay with her, he laughed it off, played dumb. big or small, it stops mattering. i'm mad.

and what's worse is that despite how much hate i feel for them, i'll go out everyday and interact with and view the mfs like theyre human beings- women are not spared the same courtesy from men who hate them. it drives me insane, how ill fucking beat myself up over something i said to a guy that he might have found hurtful knowing that the same mf could very well not even view me as a full person. i'll see a homeless man and want to offer him food or spare change but every time i dont bc i dont want him to end up being a creep. the male clients at my work need shelter and resources for what theyve been through (which is still not the same as what a lot of our female client's face, especially the psychological trauma they have to work through, not to mention how many of them have children from their abusers, a lot of times out of rape), but they talk shit about how 'crazy' the other clients are (as in all the women...), i could go on and on. i just wanted to rant. that is all.

#rant #my thoughts #today has just been really intense #im feeling very doomer right now #so dont let my ravings get you down #but if ur also feeling pissed i hope maybe you can relate

[noblueskies]

Here's something else

Well this is fun it's now almost 4:30AM!

This is on and it's kinda depressing from old memories but it's nice. I've just woken my parents up by crawling up the hallway to get to the bathroom BC I needed to go to the toilet but I was loud and I didn't mean to be it was just the boots and if you've ever been up in the night then you've 'tip toed' places and as I've explained I can't even stand so that was made hard and crawling was loud so don't try that if you're thinking of using it. I've solved a couple of puzzles and now idrk what to do but listen to music and vent about how I hate but also like paracetamol extra and I'm really sensitive to caffeine before you say I'm a lightweight I'm not a coffee drinker I prefer tea and yeah it's not fill of caffeine so I have no tolerance. But yeah I'm sat in bed listening to Spotify and thinking about how I'm missing more school but you know what screw it is mean there's nothing that I can do about it now and I'll end up catching up later I'll be fine it'll just be a heavy Saturday. Also I forgot to say earlier if it is what the spine surgeon suggested then it could take surgery which really is not good BC even though it's not very invasive it still is a little invasive and it has its risks and if I didn't get it with the NHS then that'll be very very very expensive BC you know it's pricey private but well worth it BC I need to get this sorted by it's knocking the shit out of me at the moment. Oh well I guess this is all I can do for the moment. Bless my dad he's been on the phone lots and trying to get me the next appointment ASAP but idk how long it'll be we should get a phone call tomorrow (today but if I fall asleep it'll be tomorrow BC it's 4am in the morning 12-11-19) and ooh it's A's birthday!! Yeah I should text him.

Anyways where was I oh yeah basically the person we saw first privately was a spinal surgeon BC we thought it was to do with our spine but here's the kicker... It wasn't so now we have been reffered to the next person and today we found out that he doesn't deal with children which is really weird bc im 15 and fully grown almost as a man well my feet are fully grown at least. But yeah so now we're trying to get to another person who can help but that's the story so far and if we could have done anything quicker we would have. I got my MRI on a disc also it came when I was ill Friday last week which is really cool they look awesome and I also have my feet which I haven't seen anyone about yet so yeah if there's a orthopaedic Doctor out there who reads MRIs and deals with children that'd be awesome but yeah it's specialist and it's annoying BC I'm slightly worried that we won't get someone to see me quickly but it should be ok it will be ok. I feel sorry for the people around me more than me I'm literally being waited on I'm experiencing what it is like to be my bother right now that's funny (he never does anything) but still it's a lot of pressure on my family and ontop of all this since close friends are going through a tough time and that's going to be a bit overwhelming for everyone but it should be ok I mean worst case scenario I'll just wheel around the house and help out where I can but it's really hard to do that because even though I live in a bungalow which is amazing can I say and some of it is more open planned it's also really awkward to get into my room, bathroom, utility room, spare room and out of the house that's one thing I really miss that I cannot do normal things that other people can you really don't realise the amount of things I can't do anymore. I was ok with sitting out of PE or doing things that wasn't running (4 months ago I could easily stand and walk mostly) but now I can't do that at all it's just too bad. I can't go into town to meet people and for the most part they have to come to me. I haven't left the house in 3 days since I went to a party and that was hard with the codiene - also there's an update on that I'll say in a minute yeah an update within 3 Hours of rambling but I just forgot to say I'll explain in a minute - but yeah I was shattered like almost falling asleep on the sofa shattered which for me is impressive BC I used to not sleep well and I got by with lots of sugar in my system.

Now back to the medicine/drugs. The medicine I'm taking isn't fully effective BC codiene is not an anti inflammatory which isn't what would help tarsal tunnel (js all of my symptoms fit it and this was before I heard of it I'm not saying it is it it just gives me a smidge of hope that this shit show might soon come to a close) so it'll stop me feeling shattered if I stop taking those but I can keep my naproxen and amitriptyline so I might trial that BC I feel like crap with or without the painkillers but feeling tired is rubbish also so I'll just give it a go. I hope there's no withdraw from codiene like ik I'm not addicted but just wonder BC it's really strong. Oh well it'll be fine I'm sure. I'll continue this rambling soon.

#orthopaedics #surgery #personal #pain #medicine #life #long story #sorry if you actually read all this #this is a lot of rambling but i needed to get it all out #enjoy reading #i hope #oh well #i say that a lot #ive only just realised #hope everyone else is ok #bc im not #that sounds depressing but really I'm fine #i'll shut up eventually

[citycfangels]

text: raquel ⇄ charlie

Raquel: knock knock.

Raquel: nevermind forget knock knock almost jokes. Did you forget about the starving really hot girl in your apartment?

Raquel: is this is a hint for me to leave?

Raquel: maybe it isn't but I hope everything is okay. I'm worried.

Charlie: everything is okay, babe. i just ran to someone and i had to say hello

Charlie: i wouldn't forget about my almost naked, hot, starving girl.

Raquel: okay, just making sure. I wasn't thinking up crazy scenarios or anything. Nope.

Raquel: well I hope you wouldn't forget about me. Not even if you get amnesia or something. You're supposed to remember me forever.

Charlie: i wouldn't do that ever, babe.

Charlie: can i ask you something hypothetical, babe?

Raquel: well you're still away but you sure are making up for it by being cute. 😘

Raquel: ... what's the hypothetical????

Charlie: my face and my body makes it up for it, babe

Charlie: okay, i don't know how to say this so

Charlie: imagine a couple in which A and B are 'dating' but B is with C too

Charlie: what if A sees C cheating on them?

Raquel: this is a weird hypothetical. I just want you to know that.

Raquel: what are you trying to say?

Charlie: yeah, it sounds weirder that it did in my head

Charlie: i saw Nathan with another girl a moment ago. i don't know if he saw me but

Raquel: babe, nathan isn't even in town.

Raquel: I am with you and I know that I'm the bad guy in that relationship. I know you think he isn't right for me and that I should be with you, and I already said I would but you don't have to tell me he is cheating on me when he isn't even in town. He wouldn't do that to me.

Raquel: are you sure it was Nathan?

Raquel: i know how my last texts sounded and I don't want to call you a liar and I'm not it's just I was okay knowing that I was cheating on him. I was okay with being a bad person and not giving our relationship a shot. I was fine with being in love with you and not with him even when I knew I should be with him. And I know it's wrong that I might be a bit upset if that was him. I just didn't think someone would actually cheat on me. Maybe flirt with other girls or whatever but I don't know.

Raquel: shouldn't you be happy about this?

Charlie: then he lied to you.

Charlie: i know it sounds crazy but it was really him, with one of the girls that came to his promotion party. it may sound like something i'd say so you can finally break up with him, but it's not.

Charlie: no, it's not, i guess. i've never been in your position but i would have probably be upset too.

Charlie: as for me, i don't know. a part of me is because i always thought he was going to do something sooner or later to fuck things up between you two, but the other part of me doesn't want to see you upset.

Charlie: i'm sorry i'm the one breaking it to you.

Charlie: wait, did you just say you're in love with me?????

Raquel: no, if anyone had to tell me he was cheating on me I'd rather it be you.

Raquel: I'm sorry that you have to tell me and that I'm being this weird. I shouldn't care.

Raquel: I guess I'm not upset. I just I don't know. It just means our relationship went longer than it should have if we both weren't in it. It's just I was fine with being the bad person in this. It's just shocking to know that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Raquel: of course I'm in love with you.

Charlie: no, i think it's something normal. you were in a relationship with him, even if you weren't as invested as you are in ours. still, i'm okay with you being weird about it.

Charlie: besides, i can't tell you how to feel about it. i had a feeling about him, but i hoped he was a good man. it was shocking to see him with his tongue down someone else's throat.

Charlie: damn. now i'm here smiling while looking at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the street.

Raquel: maybe I should just be happy for him. Maybe he found someone to be with just like how I'm with you.

Raquel: he is a good guy. Unless Im saying cheating makes you a bad person. I don't know because ifit does then I'm worse, right?

Raquel: then maybe you should get out of the middle of the street crazy person.

Charlie: if you tell me he is, i believe you. you're not a bad person for cheating, but there's people who won't see it the same way.

Charlie: who are you calling crazy now???

Raquel: maybe other people don't matter. At least not when it comes to this.

Raquel: I'm still calling you crazy. You're completely crazy. I'm the sane one in this relationship.

Charlie: you're right, they don't

Charlie: what did i do to deserve this attack?

Raquel: at least they don't matter when it comes to this and honestly the only person whose opinion really matters is yours

Raquel: you can't call it an attack if it's the truth.

Charlie: that's it, you just lost the privilege of seeing me cooking while naked, just wearing an apron.

Raquel: what?

Raquel: don't be a tyrannical dictator you cant just start taking things away from me. I can do that too you know. Or I can just go home.

Charlie: in that case i'm open to negotiate as soon as i'm home in a couple of minutes

Charlie: although i could do that without a problem because we're at my place, remember?

Raquel: which is exactly why I can go home if you want to start taking away reasons for me being here. There's no negotiation.

Charlie: oh, so you're there because of the nudity?

Charlie: i think i will cook with nothing under the apron then... if you're also naked.

Raquel: obviously. Nudity and the coffee and maybe the comfortable bed but that's it.

Raquel: do I really have to be naked? I was thinking of wearing a full on nun outfit for a change.

Charlie: and you're not there to see me read and look smart and sexy while i'm at it? now i'm hurt

Charlie: yes, you have. i'm not going to be the only one naked, right?

Raquel: eh maybe I am but that's just a bonus.

Raquel: depends... what are you going to do to convince me?

Charlie: for starters i'm going to cook you a decent meal instead of ordering food, whatever you want me to make with everything i bought. naked, of course, only wearing an apron

Charlie: then we'll see what happens. i haven't thought about it yet

Raquel: sounds like the beginning of a good plan.

Raquel: maybe you shouldn't overthink this. From the sounds of it food, maybe wine and you is a pretty solid plan.

Charlie: a good plan that will likely end up in sex

Charlie: i haven't bought wine but i'm sure i have something in there, you can look for it before i arrive

Raquel: Is that all you think about with me?

Raquel: I'll start the scavenger hunt now. hOpefully I find something good.

Charlie: not always, but it's what happens when i've been in my apartment with you for myself for two days in a row

Charlie: good luck, i'll be there in a few minutes

Raquel: really? So it's only because I've been here and it's not just because your mind just automatically goes to the gutter?

Raquel: So there's no weird stuff I shouldn't find? Nothing you want to hide from me?

Charlie: maaaaaybe yes, maybe not

Charlie: i have nothing to hide, what would i hide?

Raquel: I think that just means definitely yes.

Raquel: I don't know. Stuff. There could be a lot of things you can hide at your place. A collection of weird dolls, drugs, other girl's panties. The list is endless.

Charlie: busted

Charlie: i don't do drugs, i haven't fucked any other girl since we started being somewhat serious and i don't have creepy dolls. and the porn is on my laptop, so you won't find any porn either

Raquel: big time.

Raquel: Okay. I believe you. Not like you would find anything at my place if you did want to go snooping. i don't have anything from you

Charlie: i thought you'd have at least one t shirt at this point

Raquel: If I did I wouldn't be hiding it. Your t shirts are only yours while you wear them. Once they go on me they're mine.

Charlie: oh? then i'm never get them back?

Raquel: nope. They're mine now.

Charlie: well, keep them. i don't really mind you having them to be honest

Raquel: so should I take that as code for "sure babe, you can have all my shirts"?

Charlie: yes, you can have them. i can always buy new ones anyways and you look good in them

Raquel: you do know that that just means that you'll just always be buying shirts.

Charlie: i only ask you to not steal too many of them, or else i'll have none to wear

Raquel: you not wearing a shirt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Charlie: in private, but me not wearing one in public and attracting too many girls at work? you're sure you want that?

Raquel: .... maybe I don't. You did say that you weren't seeing other girls so if we are going back to being exclusive, exclusive then they can look but they can't touch.

Charlie: i wasn't seeing other girls, so yeah, i can do that. i have no intentions of having anything with someone else if that's what you're asking

Raquel: it's not exactly what I was asking but it sorta is.

Raquel: there's just me for you and I know that now. I just wasn't sure if we were on the same page or not.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/30e75391e84d85e259bea50f5133086d/tumblr_or6lnecFwu1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal When you’re completely okay with the thought of never wearing pants again. #mymanisnttheonlyonewithabs #nopantsforme #noshirtsforhim

Charlie: we are in the same page and you can have my shirts

Charlie: and by the picture you just posted, it seems like you're going pantless

Raquel: yessss I get a new part of my wardrobe.

Raquel: any objections?

Charlie: nope, no objections. you know i like your ass so much, so you won't hear a complaint from me

Charlie: it may distract me, but i won't whine about it, babe

Raquel: well distracting you is what I'm best at even if I do want you to get through your books.

Charlie: you're the best at it. your ass is distracting, especially when you're not wearing pants

Charlie: what if i don't read today and we do stuff together? watching a movie, for example

Raquel: sure we could do whatever you want. I think us taking a break from sex will actually be just what your neighbor wants. Either she is just not a nice person or she is just sick of hearing us. I went out and saw her and let's just say I didn't get a warm welcome. Hopefully for neighborly sake she is nicer to you.

Charlie: which one of them? is she the blonde one?

Raquel: yeah, I think she said her name was Candice or something.

Charlie: oh

Charlie: she's a bitch, don't pay attention to her. she's probably jealous.

Raquel: jealous? Why would she be jealous? She's a knock out and if I were completely single and in a world where you didn't exist maybe I would try to hook up with her

Charlie: i don't know, it was a guess

Charlie: i know, she's hot, but i find you hotter, babe

Raquel: I don't think I'm someone pther people would be jealous of. Even if I am pretty lucky and I have you.

Raquel: you are winning a lot of boyfriend points. But since when is leggy beautiful blonde not your type?

Charlie: yesh, you're lucky bc you're with me, but you're hot and smart, so that's hitting the jackpot

Charlie: i'll be honest with you: i hooked up with her once, she became clingy and i don't do clingy

Charlie: don't worry about her, okay? she may be jealous and bitchy but i'm with you, babe

Raquel: when did you hook up with her?

Raquel: was it when we were together?

Charlie: no

Charlie: it happened at some point in those four months after we broke up. i can't recall when, but we weren't together at that point, that's for sure

Charlie: she's the only girl i regret hooking up with, and that says a lot coming from me

Raquel: right, because you have hooked up with so many girls.

Raquel: it's not that I don't appreciate your honesty. I do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel knowing that some girl you hooked up with a) lives so close and b) still acts like she has some sort of claim over you.

Raquel: I guess I was okay with not knowing who you hooked up with but now it's like I can picture it. You with her and I hate it because I know I shouldn't worry. I know I should just be fine with it but right now I don't know.

Raquel: I'm not upset but maybe I should go home (unsent)

Charlie: she's pretty much aware of me not wanting anyone but you at this point, so she won't make a move. or at least i hope she doesn't pull off any shit.

Charlie: the only girl i want is you, babe. isn't that enough? she may live next door, but i wouldn't go to her ever, not even if things get rough between us.

Raquel: are you 100% sure? I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you want her and just go next door because I am in this. There is no one else for me. What happened with Nathan and us breaking up was a mistake. I know that now and I know you're saying I'm the only girl you want now, but I don't want those to be just words. You gave me time to figure things out and if you need the same then I can give you time. I just don't want you making a decision you might regret later. She isn't the only one that can be clingy or obsessive.

Charlie: babe, why are you insecure?

Charlie: sure, she's hot, she has the legs and the body and she looks like a damn model, but that means nothing to me if she's ugly inside. you're beautiful outside too, but what makes you different from her is that i fucking like you for who you are. you're beautiful inside.

Charlie: i would never go to her, i'm 100% sure of that. i don't even need time to think about it.

Raquel: I'm insecure because the fact that you're with me still baffles me. You could be with any girl in the world.

Raquel: can you just come home please?

Charlie: i could, but i chose you

Charlie: let me take the elevator and i'll be there

Raquel: i guess I choose you too. And I'm going to keep choosing you until you get sick of me.

Raquel: chop chop.

#text: 009 charlie #text: charlie #all: charlie #ship: rarlie #text