#so u b*tches better be f*ckin happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sbcojn · 5 years

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30 random facts about me for the sake of finding ourselves in the so called century of the self

...and because i am effectively trying to keep myself from studying for a statistics exam and from falling down a negative spiral of thoughts.

caution: if over sharing people annoy you do not read this, keep scrolling or log off.

i have a long a*s first name, which sounds like math and let's everyone, who ever reads my name and who has not met me in person yet, think that i'm a dude. thx mom for adding a dutch variation to it as well and for wanting your kid to have an extravagant unisex name, which no one is able to pronounce correctly! :')

my mom, my grandmas and my second oldest cousin are my idols and i talk about them all the time. i understand that it's creepy and annoying to my social environment but i can't help it and idgaf! i adore them, i want to be them and i love them soOoOo much! every single one of them is such a badass boss lady, who is not afraid of working hard, making sacrifices and never asking for anything in return. just by watching them handle life they taught me everything i need to know about it. i admire how they each are so comfortable with themselves that they don't ever feel the need to justify who they are and what they do. i am very blessed to have them in my life and to be related to them.

i lived in indonesia until i was 3-4ish.

during an exchange program from hotel management school in switzerland my mom somehow fell in love with that country and moved here with me.

here she met my stepdad, who for me is my real dad. he adopted me as soon as he met my mom and treated me as i was one of his own. i actually have most of my characteristic traits in common with my dad and that's why i hate when people remind me of the fact, that i am not blood related to him. just let me construct my own reality b*tches! i am thankful for everything he did for me and for all the sacrifices he made. in spite of being too young for that kind of responsibility he looked after his family with boldness and bravery. i love you more than everything and i am truly sorry for being such a hard a*s to you when i was little and when i was going through puberty lol!

i have a little brother, who is 4 years younger than me. he is my true partner in crime and was ALWAYS on my side no matter what. i was so afraid when my parents told me that they are going to have another kid, because i thought that meant that they needed to get rid of me. but i was over the moon when he was born. he was such a cute fat a*s baby and i instantly felt the need to mother him when i was only four. lol sorry for treating you like a baby born bro! but i loved and still love you so much and i will always help you out like you did, no matter what happens!

if you touch my family i will D E L E T E yours!

when i was little i watched to many disney movies and sailor moon. i was o b s e s s e d once my dad caught me posing like sailor moon in front of the mirror and i wanted to die! another time he caught me singing disney songs on the balcony... and i didn't know how to speak english then. i only knew how to speak indonesian and german so i sang the songs in some kind of fantasy language, which to me sounded like english and tried to enact those dramatic singing scenes on the balcony or while looking out of my window.......

although i started my life as an extra af child i always acted shy in kindergarten and elementary school. through the entire time my teachers made it mandatory for me to visit an extra class for non-native speakers. for most of my childhood every teacher thought i could not properly speak german and i was too shy to tell them that i certainly could speak german. my parents were so confused because at home i would always order them around and as soon as i was in school i was even scared to breath too loudly. so fake though :')

my chemical romance, nirvana, pearl jam, billy talent, radiohead, the flatliners, a day to remember, architects, new politics, jimmy eat world and paramore used to get me through every situation in puberty. i was kind of cocky and prided myself on my taste in music because i thought the music i listened to wAs So EmOtIonALLy dEep aNd No OnE mY aGe WouLD bE aBLe To ApPrEciAtE iTs dEpth. and to be honest, every time i listen to this kind of music now i am not able to appreciate it. it makes me sad and i am kind of emotionally stable now lol! kind of says a lot about the genius of this genre though but i can't do it anymore! listening to it takes my mind to places i don't want to go back to. thank you for your service but i am happy and became kind of an emotionally semi-stable mainstream b*tch, when it comes to music! k, thx, bye! lol

i have a scar on my forehead in between my eye brows. it was caused by playing hide and seek in the dark. me and my child hood friend thought this was a revolutionary idea and we got sooooo hyped. we ended up running into one another and her tooth finally got stuck in my forehead lol.

i always did good at school but i don't remember how. i don't remember studying a lot. all i remember is how i couldn't focus on sh*t for longer than 5 minutes. this became a huge problem as soon as i entered middle school. from then on i always got in trouble with my teachers because they wanted to downgrade me but my parents never agreed to that. and they would always be angry at me for not doing enough for school but in fact i just didn't know how to effin' focus. i remember studying my butt off but still didn't know what i was doing exactly and somehow still managed to graduate grammar school after nearly dropping out twice and showing up for class for only like half of the time. since entering middle school i was an average to really really bad student, who got eaten from the inside by teenage angst and who had an attention span of a baby. after taking care of my ADD and growing up a little all i really want to do is study. but not math/statistics man. i still hate math though. i am one of the few asian people, who is bad at math.

i love to consume pop culture in every format! in my opinion it is brilliant and entertaining. idgaf what everyone else thinks really. therefore...

i need to state that i am a huge supporter of kim k becoming a lawyer!!! yes, she is loaded but still the fact that she uses her platform and therefore her influence for a greater cause is more than admirable. as well as the fact that she has started to pursue a law degree after having four children, who are still small and managing a bunch of businesses at the same time. i mean studying law is hard af. just imagine being in your mid thirties, having to manage a dozen of businesses, keeping kanye west out of trouble, taking care of four small kids and studying law, while the world is publicly doubting you and hating on you for doing something more than great even. i mean i know people my age, who financially get supported by their parents, still live at home and have no other responsibilities other than their own education and they still can't do it. and i don't think it is something to be ashamed of because i know it is hard. but actually my whole point is that people love to hate on the kardashians and it gets boaaring.

i actually think that ariana grande's music video to her song thank u next is a pop cultural masterpiece!

i loved working at mcdonald's as a part-time job. i loved the people, who worked there. they were happy all the time and just cared about making enough money to look after their families. although mcdonald's literally stands for capitalism and commerce - there even is a term in political philosophy 'mcdonald's world' - and is one of the biggest corporations worldwide, i have never came across people, who are as precious as they are! they always looked out for one another and were all time ready to f*ck up everyone, who messed with their co-workers. i have never experienced a better working-environment since then.

i am 25 years old and i still love playing sims. while i'm at it i love to watch dr. phil. recently i just spent my whole tip money on expansion packs. i am not even ashamed. but sometimes i have trouble adjusting to the real world after a gaming session. while walking around in the city i get inspired by buildings, which just make me wanna go home and build it. like what are friends, i don't need friends, i just want to build an imaginary fancy ass house. i also get upset about the fact that there is no cheat code in real life for deactivating your primary needs like sleep. i could have been a doctor and a piano prodigy by now man! or f*ckin' motherlode my bank account at least if you know what i'm sayinnnnn'.

when i was little i dreamed of dying my hair blonde one day, getting fair skin, having blue eyes and a f*cking nose bridge. i hated my asian look. at some point i even got jealous of fellow asian people, whose skin was lighter than mine. then i went through a phase, when i kind of felt okay with how i looked but damned western beauty standards and mainstream media for making my five year old self and a lot of my other asian sisters feeling shitty about the way they looked.

sex tourism was a huge part of why i struggled with my ethnic look as well. there were times, when i even felt slutty wearing skinny jeans. and i think this needs no further explanation. thank u next.

i love the praisintheasian movements! and i adore the man, who in my eyes initiated that movement, mr. eddie huang! since fotb came out i stalked him on every platform! and while stalking (lol) i gradually began to understand how i can be okay with being asian and even celebrate being asian. i want to have coffee with this dude and i have so many questions to ask him and so many things i want to tell him! asdflkasjfd!!! but i am 500% sure that if i would ever meet him i would cry, vomit, laugh and then run away. or maybe i would act so creepy that he will put a restraining order on me. so writing down the possible outcomes of meeting eddie huang - maybe let's just not meet my idol then.

when i'm retired, i'll own a bistro somewhere in indonesia with the best coffee, wine and my favorite food. and i'll give my best to use organic and regional food items and at the same time plan the menu after a zero-waste logic. every monday there will be book club. and every friday there will be local artists performing. i would recruit my staff properly and pay them a respectable wage. my bistro would be kind of a local meeting point. lol how realistic. let a gal dream! (the percentage of that happening is like non-existent. that's why i bought myself the sims 4 expansion pack 'dine out' lmfao)

one of my favorite books of all time is 'woyzeck' by georg büchner. just look it up! i am not worthy of describing this master piece.

i will always chose hanging out wherever comfortable and chill over going out and partying. one of the main reasons is that most of the people there annoy me. in zurich the consumption of cocaine is insane and i find it annoying, unnecessary and petty. just go home if you're tired man. there is nothing attractive about a cocky ass person, who is high on cocaine! and maybe consider therapy if you need that kind of stuff to feel better about yourself. not really feel like wasting my time and money at those kind of venues. i am too boring for you anyways. srynotsry.

something that has bothered me for a long time now.... to all those kind of feminists, who get offended by my perfectly winged eyeliner: you missed the point sis. bye

i never understood how doing things that make yourself feel cute could be offensive to anyone or violate anyone's ideology. just don't look at me then ffs. thx muaaaachhhh.

i am really bad at lending books from the library. i consider not doing that anymore until the day i'll become rich. from that day on i will hire an assistant, who will keep track of borrowed books.

every time before my period starts i cry about dumb ass shit. and i am okay with it now. i am trying to keep in mind and actively remember that having my period could be the reason for this monthly emotional outbreak. but an individual still can forget the cause of the outbreak, which leads to a dramatic downward spiral every.single.time. howwwwww biiishhhh

i will not attend school/work/anything if i forget my headphones. i will turn around, go back home and get my fucking headphones. and at times, when the cash is flooooowiiiin' i'll just buy a new pair even they only pair available would cost me 40 bugs. but that is like the highest price i'd pay though lol. (7 lunch menus at my uni thoooo)

if you force me to read something in a car i will vom all over you!

astrology kind of fascinates me and i am done being embarrassed about it lol.

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